03x02 - Hard Lessons

[bunniefuu]

[FOOTSTEPS THUDDING]

[DOOR SLAMS]

Get out of the way! Move. Move. Move.

[PASSERBY] Oi!

[GRUNTS]

What the f*ck?

River, you have to do exactly as I say.

- You've got Catherine?
- I don't know anything about Catherine.

- [GRUNTS, BREATHING HEAVILY]
- If you hurt her, you know I'll k*ll you.

I was just told to come
here and give you a message.

[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]

- That's bullshit.
- Please.

They've just sent me
a picture of my sister

with her kids at the swings.

- Who did?
- I don't f*cking know, okay?

But I have to do what they
say, or they'll k*ll the kids

in front of their mother.

[BREATHES SHAKILY] These are
bad people, River... Please...

Look, I'm a sh*t and I'm a prick,

and I don't... I-I... I
don't blame you for hating me,

but these are kids, River.

They're gonna k*ll kids.

Well, they're gonna k*ll Catherine
as well. So, who are they?

How many times... I don't know. I...

I'm not in the Service. You tell me.

They want you to get this.
I wrote it down. [BREATHING HEAVILY]

The PM's vetting file? [SCOFFS]
You know where that is, right?

Course I know where it is.

[SIGHS] Well, then you know
I can't get that. [SNIFFS]

- No, you have to get it.
- No, it's impossible.

No one gets into that part of the Park.

- You have to get it.
- Even if I could get in, I'd never...

You have to get it by midday.

Mi... An hour?

Or my nephew, my niece, my sister,
Catherine, they are all gonna die.

- No, I need more time.
- Oh, come on. You have to try!

- Please...
- Okay.

- Who do I even give it to if I get it?
- I don't know.

- Mmm.
- I just... I don't know.

They just said they'd make
contact again at midday.

- Why didn't they just get you to get it?
- I'm not in the Service anymore.

You know that.

And I'm in Slough House,
which you love reminding me of.

Yeah, but you don't belong in
Slough House. Everyone knows that.

Maybe they do too.

Maybe they want you because
you're... f*ck's sake...

[SIGHS] Because you're special.

[SIGHS] That you're the only
person who can pull this off.

[CHUCKLES] S...

What? Why are you
looking at me like that?

[BREATHING SHAKILY] Oh, Jesus. Oh, God.

Oh, Jesus.

River, please, go. Run. Now.

Please, don't let 'em k*ll me. Please...

f*ck. All right, fine.

[SNIFFLING] Please. Please.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

What are you... What are you doing?

What are you doing? River!

Oh, f*ck.

[GASPING]

["STRANGE GAME" PLAYING]

[ANNOUNCER] Mind the gap.

[PASSERBY SHOUTS]

[PASSERBY GRUNTS]

- [SCANNER BEEPING]
- [GRUNTS]

Move, move, move, move!

Thank you. Excuse me. Sorry.

Move. Move. Sorry. Excuse me. Thank you.

- [STAMMERS] Can you just...
- What's... What's the hurry, mate?

[GRUNTS]

Sorry.

Move!

[GRUNTS]

Let me in. Let me in. Come on.

- Come on. Come on. Come on.
- [GATE BUZZES]

Come on. Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on. Come on.

- [DOOR BEEPS]
- [SIGHS]

I need to speak to your
head of security. [SNIFFS]

There's a queue.

Get him on the phone now.

That doesn't even get
you into the building.

[SIGHS] God, I've missed you.

[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

[SECURITY] Phone off.

- I said off!
- [RIVER] Yep, one minute.

Off.

[KNOCKS]

[SECURITY] He's here, sir.

[SIGHS] Thanks.

[DOOR CLOSES]

You f*cking me around?

- No.
- So, this isn't bullshit?

- Have you got somewhere else to be, River?
- Uh, no.

Uh, no, it's not bullshit

and, uh, no, don't have anywhere to be.

I don't want you here any longer
than necessary, you f*cking Jonah.

- Understood.
- Hey!

That seat there is for
proper f*cking grown-up spies.

Spies who don't crash Stansted or
call in fake f*cking Code Septembers.

Look, I get the impression
sometimes that you don't like me.

I'd like to see you
eaten feet first by pigs.

Well, you have a very
eclectic bucket list.

But this is not bullshit.

You have the diamond?

[RIVER CLEARS THROAT]

You're welcome. See ya.

Wait.

- How did you get it?
- What?

There were only three
people on that roof.

Standish, Longridge, Guy. Not you.

I mean, look, obviously
the person that's taken it,

they've acted impulsively,
and they've regretted it.

- Which one was it?
- I don't know, Duffy.

It was left on my desk with
a note to return it to you.

Did you bring the note?

No. And you can't tell who
it is from the note anyway.

No, obviously you can't.

You've got your diamond back.
That's what's important, okay?

Wait.

[RIVER SIGHS]

Let's go and see if this
one's genuine, shall we?

- Why would it not be genuine?
- I don't know, River. You tell me.

- Look, it was handed to me...
- Yeah.

... and I handed it to
you. That's all I know.

Well, let's go and find
out together then, shall we?

Do I need to come for that? Why? Why...

[CHUCKLES] You said that you didn't
have anywhere else to be, River.

Yeah, okay, let's go.

River, if you are f*cking me around,

I'm gonna punch you so
hard you'll sh*t teeth.

Standish hasn't shown in
the morgues or the hospitals.

Mmm. Someone's grabbed her.

She contacted Cartwright, or he
said she did before he scarpered.

- Well, where is he?
- No idea.

- Well, call him.
- I tried.

His phone's off, which means
I can't track him either.

Jesus Christ, you lot are about
as much use as a paper condom.

[SIGHS] Where are Little and Large?

- Do you know what's in that?
- Yes.

Ice cream, sauce, whipped cream,
marshmallows. It's why I bought it.

There's enough calories
in there for a week.

I burn them off. I know it's harder
to keep the weight off at your age.

[CHUCKLES] Look, we might not
be each other's first choice,

but it is just you and me.

We share an office, is all.

Yeah, and River and Louisa
have got the other one.

Ho is his own thing.

And Lamb and Standish are
in some twisted codependency.

So, maybe we should team up.

To do what?

Get out of Slough House.

Unless you wanna stay there forever.

Hmm.

I've got time to take stock,
consider my options, unlike you.

[SCOFFS] I'm only five
years older than you.

- [CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
- [SIGHS]

Shh. Lamb.

Has Standish reached
out to you or Shirley?

No. We'd have let you know if she had.

[JACKSON] I'm not sure you would,
seeing how's you slacked off

for an ice cream.

Get back here. She's been kidnapped.

[LINE BEEPS]

[SIGHS]

- He said she's been kidnapped.
- Who by? What do they want?

He didn't say. He wants
us back straightaway.

How did he even know we were here?

Yeah, that's definitely
what I'd focus on.

Standish's been kidnapped and what?

You just processed that and moved on?

Come on. If he knows we're here,

he probably knows we
haven't started moving yet.

God, we're gonna get
a triple bollocking.

Ho must have tracked our service phones.

He's probably got cameras
in our toilets at home too.

Yeah, I'm gonna need
you to slap him again.

- Is this gonna take long?
- You said you had nowhere to be.

Well, by nowhere, I meant
Slough House, of course.

- Cartwright?
- So... Ma'am.

What are you doing in here?

He's returning the missing
diamond, supposedly.

I didn't ask you. I asked him.

I've returned the
missing diamond, actually.

And I'm taking him to get
it examined and verified.

You can do that by yourself.
I need to talk to Cartwright.

Ma'am, technically you no longer
have oversight of me or the Dogs.

I still have oversight of
the Slow Horses. Lucky me.

Come on, Cartwright.

I want you back in my office
when she's done with you.

If I have to come looking,
it's not gonna be pretty.

Ma'am.

I don't want you in this building ever.

You are the bane of my career.

When you show up, frogs
start raining from the sky

and blood pours from the taps.

- I was returning the missing diamond.
- I don't care about the diamond.

The fact that it was missing
made Duffy look like a fool,

which I was rather enjoying.

Until you messed that up
like you mess everything up.

- Well, I didn't mean to mess anything up.
- Oh, shut up.

- Because of your rolling disasters...
- Yep.

... I have been put in
charge of moving boxes around.

And you and the other
quarter-wits at Slough House

are making a meal out of even that.

- Well, it is a lot of boxes, to be fair.
- I don't want excuses.

I want you to never
have happened. [SIGHS]

- Feels like I should go. Yeah.
- Yes.

Keep walking until you get to the sea.

And when you get to the sea,
keep walking with your mouth open.

You know the way out.

[SIGHS]

[TICKING]

Whoa. Hey, hey. [SIGHS]

- Hi?
- H-Hey, uh, this is weird, isn't it?

Yeah.

- Um, I am not sure why I stopped.
- Me neither.

- Do you wanna grab a drink?
- No, thank you.

No, yeah. Fair enough. Well,
I'll see you around then.

Unlikely.

Unless I give you my number.

Do you remember that I
kicked you out of my flat?

Yeah. I guess I was just hoping
we might part on better terms.

Look, I know you think I'm a d*ck.

I am. [CHUCKLES]

But probably not as much of a
d*ck as you think. [CHUCKLES]

Look, I'm just... I'm not really
in a good place at the moment,

so it's possible I
slightly overreacted and...

Hey!

Excuse me, why are you taking this?

It's double yellow lines. Is it yours?

- No.
- It's not your business then.

Actually, it is.

You make that yourself?

I'm MI , and I need to
look inside this car now.

Yeah, all right.

Stupid cow.

[BREATHING DEEPLY]

[GRUNTS]

- Oi! Oi!
- What the f*ck are you doing?

Easy, easy, easy.

f*cking mad.

- [GRUNTING]
- [IMPOUNDER] Oi.

I'll f*cking have you for that.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Next time, just do as you're asked.

- [KEYS JINGLE]
- [BANGING]

- [SHIRLEY] She's been kidnapped?
- Yeah, that's what Lamb's saying. [SIGHS]

By who? What do they want?

You'd have to ask Cartwright. [SIGHS]

He got a message,
supposedly from Standish,

then he ran out like a whippet
with a chili up its arse.

- What's Lamb doing about it?
- More than you two.

I watched you come in in
case you were being followed.

- Save you the bother.
- We'd have known if we had.

Nah. Yeah, there was no
one on you, as it happens,

but these people are good.

I think they're out
there. [STAMMERS] Call .

Give 'em the address and tell them

that there's some guy
out here on the street,

waving his d*ck at passersby.

[SIGHS] They followed
Standish from here to AA.

And they knew that
Cartwright was gonna be here

when they contacted him.

So, they probably have the
whole building under surveillance

and a tap on the phones.

Get out there. Tail anyone who moves

from the café to the bus stop opposite

the minute after the call goes in.

How long should we follow for?

Well, until we can work out
who they are and what they want.

Keep your distance.

[RODDY] Police, please. [SIGHS]

Yeah, I'm at Aldersgate Street.

There's a man outside with his d*ck
in one hand and a g*n in the other,

shouting about God telling him to k*ll.

[GRUNTS]

Should hurry them up.

Not even close.

This is Duffy. Is Cartwright
still in the building?

[SIGHS] Ah, f*ck!

[DIANA SIGHS]

- [KNOCKING]
- [DIANA] Come in.

- Ma'am.
- Mm-hmm?

Where'd Cartwright go
after you spoke to him?

Mmm. Don't know. He left the building.

Well, he hasn't left the building.
We've no idea where he is.

Oh, that's not good.

Who signed him in?

[BREATHES SHAKILY] I did.

[SMACKS LIPS] Oh, dear.

And the diamond?

[CHUCKLES] Hmm. Ma'am.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- [SCOFFS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[HUMMING]

God, it's been so hectic.

I even forgot my parent's
wedding anniversary.

- Oh, my God.- Luckily my brother said e

I could go in on a present
with him. Lifesaver.

[KEYPAD BEEPING]

[HOBBS] River f*cking Cartwright.

Last time we was by a lift,

you twatted me in the face
with a fire extinguisher.

Yeah, well, sorry about that.

But you were trying to nick me
for something I had no part in.

- [SCOFFS, CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]

- [CHUCKLES] Funny.
- [MUMBLES]

Fair play, mate. Oh,
you got the drop on me.

Gotta respect that, innit?

- Yep.
- [KEYPAD BEEPS]

So, what the f*ck are you doing
over here? Still a Slow Horse?

Still stink the place up like
a dead horse full of horse sh*t?

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, well, uh...

[CLEARS THROAT] ... that's
actually why I'm here.

I'm giving a lecture to new recruits

on how not to end up in Slough House.

[KEYPAD BEEPS]

Don't be a twat.

That's not me saying
I don't believe you.

That's me saying that your lecture
on how not to end up in Slough House

should just be you
saying, "Don't be a twat,"

- over and over again for an hour.
- [BEEPING]

Right, right.

I mean, I'm probably gonna flesh
it out a bit more than that.

But if it's any consolation,
that's pretty much the gist. Yeah.

- [ELEVATOR DINGS]
- [DOORS OPEN]

Well, glad there's no hard feelings.

No. No, mate. Now you're
over there, and I'm over here.

And I would rather drown in my
own piss than swap places with you.

Exactly.

Actually, you know what?

I don't want to miss a solid hour

of you telling the new
recruits what a fuckwit you are.

- Is that all right?
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]

How could I say no?

[KEYPAD BEEPS]

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

Prick in baseball cap. Bus stop.

And don't spook them. They
could lead us to Standish.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

What the f*ck are you doing?

[MARCUS] Following from in
front. It's way more subtle.

And don't f*cking call me.

Don't f*cking answer if
you don't wanna speak.

Fu...

- Keep on him. I'll try and cut ahead.
- All right, all right. f*ck.

Oi! Little fucker.

f*ck.

- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [CAR HORNS HONKING]

[GRUNTS, GROANS]

- For f*ck's sake. [PANTS]
- [GROANS] Nice one.

[BOTH SIGH]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

[PANTING]

f*ck. [PANTING]

[PANTING] F...

[GRUNTS]

[BOTH PANTING]

f*ck.

[SIGHS]

I told you to keep your bloody distance,

not scare him off like a pigeon.

[PANTING] I got the plate.

Lamb. [PANTING]

Yeah, I need to do some laundry.

Yep. So...

[SNIFFS]

What time did you say it starts?

[STAMMERS] In the
next ten minutes. Yeah.

Oh, wait. Oh. [CLICKS TONGUE] Hold on.

Starts at : , not : .

- Aw, a shame.
- Ah. Yeah.

Gotta be somewhere at : .

Oh. Well, I'm... I'm sure
someone's gonna record it, so...

I do hope so.

Need something new to
wank over. [CHEWING]

Um, yeah.

Well, I'll probably
just, you know, stay here.

Get my thoughts together, you know?

Try and forget about what you just said.

Yeah, man. You do that.

- [TICKING]
- [HOBBS] Oh. [CLEARS THROAT]

[SIGHS] Just before I go...
[CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFS]

Show us your security pass?

My security pass? You know I'm Service.

No. You're a Slow f*cking Horse,

which means you need a
security pass to be in here.

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They... They gave me one.

That's a visitor's pass.

That'll get you through reception,

but to be this deep in the
building, you needed a security pass.

Yes. Got it on my phone.

- Show us. Yeah.
- You wanna see it? Okay.

You run the plates?

It's fake.

Why Lamb didn't stop to get it.

Where did he disappear to then?

- He's got nothing to go on.
- Can we find out who faked the plates?

[SIGHS] There's about
people on the dark web

who offer that service,

and they won't know who they sold it to.

Why am I having to explain this?

This must be how Jesus felt,
surrounded by dickheads.

Yeah, he was famously hated
by everyone who met him.

Uh, a hire car was left outside the
café where Catherine was snatched.

Those are the details
of the guy who hired it.

[SCOFFS] What, you think the kidnapper

signed their real name and address?

Sean Donovan. [SCOFFS]

Well, it's something to go on, isn't it?

That's nothing to go on, babes.

- [COMPUTER CHIMES]
- [MARCUS] Is that the van?

Shut up about the f*cking van.

You should be tracking it.

I am tracking it.

But after you spooked them,

they'll have swapped the
fake plates for a new set.

Well, what's that ping then?

Cartwright. He turned his phone on.

- Where is he?
- The Park.

Oh, f*cking come on, mate. You
haven't got a pass, have you?

Yes, I do, I just... I just...

I just had a few tabs open
there that I should've shut.

Ah, here it is. Right, there you are.

[GRUNTS, CHOKING]

[GROANS] You f*cking bastard!

[PHONE RINGING]

[RODDY] Cartwright's at the Park.

What the f*ck is he doing at the Park?

He's about as welcome there
as a turd in a hot tub.

Search me.

Did he sign in?

Yeah. And now he's AWOL in the building.

[SIGHS]

Name and address check out.

- [RODDY] Yeah, right.
- Let's see who this is.

- We'll stake out the address.
- Yeah.

- Wait, it's my lead.
- [RODDY] Not a lead.

Please don't leave me with Ho.

[GROANS, SCOFFS] Still
think it's a fake ID?

So I made a mistake.

I'm vulnerable.

[SIGHS] No. [GROANS]

Oof. That bad, hey?

They got Standish.

- You didn't tell me that.
- I didn't tell you anything.

They bugged our phones.

- They trail you here?
- Eh, I got rid of 'em.

Why are you talking
to me and not the Dogs?

[SIGHS]

They made contact with one of my team,

who's just flashed up at the Park.

I'm guessing they told
him to do as they say

or Standish turns up in bits.

I'm keen not to accelerate that process.

- What can you give me?
- They're ex-m*llitary.

You can tell that by looking?

Oh, yeah, they walk around like they
got a bayonet stuck up their arse,

and spend three hours a day in the gym,

which means their clothes don't fit.

- So mercs?
- No. Mercs are f*cking lunatics.

No, these guys, uh, they're
organized, controlled.

Private security then?

[SIGHS, INHALES DEEPLY]

Who's big enough to try
and penetrate the Park?

There are three firms that
can mount that kind of op.

Stormbreak and Strike Force...

Jesus Christ. f*cking names.

Why don't they just
go for Rock Hard Cocks?

[SNICKERS] Well, Stormbreak's
guys are all tied up in Syria.

And I know for a fact that Strike Force

are about to take out
a Liberian w*rlord.

Because?

I'm doing the logistics.

What's the third option?

[CLICKS TONGUE] Chieftain.
New dicks on the block.

- Mmm.
- Ran by a Sly Monteith.

[SCOFFS] I hate to judge a
person on their name alone,

but he sounds like an absolute ponce.

Old Etonian, well-connected, went
to school with half the Cabinet.

Hmm. Well, my judgment stands.

Yeah. Now he's living his wet dream
of having his own private army.

But a hell of a move for him to make,

to kidnap and blackmail Service agents.

I mean, who's gonna
pay for him to do that?

Other than a hostile foreign power,

which would land him in
all sorts of sh*t back here.

Huh. I can think of someone.

Oh, for f*ck's sake.

[SIGHS]

Yep. [SIGHS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Cartwright's on east stairs.

Yeah, I'm on the f*cking east stairs,

and he's heading to
the f*cking basement.

[RIVER PANTING]

[HOBBS] Don't even think about it.

[GRUNTS]

[HOBBS] Move!

[GRUNTS, PANTING] f*ck.

[BEEPS]

f*ck.

Oh, f*ck.

[PANTS, GROANS]

[GROANS]

- [HOBBS] Come here, you bastard.
- [BEEPS]

[GRUNTS]

- [HOBBS] Open the f*cking door.
- [RIVER PANTING] Hello?

Cartwright, I'm so serious.

- Open this f*cking door!
- [PANTING] Hello?

- If you don't open the f*cking door...
- Hey.

- ... I am gonna kick your head in.
- Hello?

[SIGHS, SNIFFS]

[GROANS]

Uh, Duffy, Hobbs. [PANTING]

Cartwright's in the
basement. He's, uh... [SIGHS]

He's jumped me and he's took me pass.

Anyway, I can't get in... in that room.

No, the f*cking troll not letting me in.

[RIVER PANTING] Ah.

[GRUNTS]

[MOLLY] Are you a Dog?

Huh? No. There's one of
them behind that door.

- Then keep him there.
- [SIGHS] Fine by me.

Right, I need this now,
or someone dies, okay?

You're Cartwright Jr., aren't you?

- Yeah. [COUGHS]
- I can see your grandfather in you.

[PANTS] I need this. Come on.

I can't possibly give you this.

Well, you need to... [SNIFFS]
... because if you don't...

See this woman? She dies. Okay?

Then I'm afraid she dies.

What? Are you f... She's Service.
They're gonna f*cking k*ll her.

- I didn't much like your grandfather.
- [GROANS]

- But I like him more than I like the Dogs.
- [SCOFFS]

If I let you walk out
of here with this file,

the Dogs will work you over
till you're in a chair like mine,

and she'll probably die anyway.

But I will call someone who
might be able to help you.

Okay, well, whoever it is, they
have three and a half minutes

to help me. So...

f*ck it. I-I... f*ck it,
I don't have time for this.

Just-Just-Just give me the
file. f*ck it, I'll find it.

[GROANS]

[PANTING]

Oh, sh*t, she's dead.

f*ck. Oh, Catherine. [PANTING]

- Cartwright, phone, now.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]

What...

[PANTS] Yeah, what?

[JACKSON] Get the f*ck outta there now.

What, why? Lamb, listen to me.

Someone has Standish,
and I have to get a file,

- or they k*ll her.
- No-No. You listen to me.

You might think you're
hot stuff, Cartwright,

but in fact, you're cold sh*t.

Lamb, did you hear what
I said? Standish dies.

No, she doesn't. Now get the f*ck
out of there before you screw us all.

[LINE DISCONNECTS]

[SIGHS]

What? What? What does that mean?
What do I do? What the f*ck do I do?

- Whatever Lamb told you to do.
- He told me to get out.

There's a service hatch at the
back. It leads to the car park.

I won't have the Dogs on my
floor, so you have some time.

[SIGHS]

[RIVER SIGHS]

What if he's wrong?

It would be a first.

[SIGHS] Oh, f*ck.

[GROANS] f*ck.

[GRUNTS]

[DOOR OPENS]

The last time I saw you,
you put a g*n to my head.

Now you're offering me room service?

We needed the photo to look real.

Who did you send it to? Lamb?

'Cause if you're trying to
blackmail him with a thr*at to me,

- I'm not sure it'll work.
- We need to move you.

You have about
minutes to finish that.

If you want anything
else, please let us know.

I'd like to go home, please.

Um, I wasn't sure if
you're a vegetarian,

so there's o-one ham, one cheese.

And what is this place?

I mean, safe houses are
usually empty, impersonal.

This house feels lived in.

Uh, or you could combine
them. Ham and chee... cheese.

[INHALES DEEPLY] Mmm.

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

A rental car was towed
from outside the café

where Catherine was snatched.

And the rental doc was filled
out in the name of Sean Donovan,

- who works for Ch...
- Chieftain. Anything else?

- [CHAIR ROLLS]
- [WHISPERS] Stop staring at me!

Marcus and Shirley are
sitting on his home address.

Why, have they not worked
out what this is yet?

What is it?

[SIGHS] Massive wank, that's what it is.

[STAMMERS] Wha... What do you mean?

That Chieftain are
just doing this for fun?

No, for money.

Get down to their office.

And if you haven't worked it
out by then, don't come back.

- Can I open my eyes yet?
- No.

Spicy.

[INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY]

She won't open it.

Ms. Doran!

It's Duffy!

- I'm coming in!
- [INTERCOM BEEPS]

- [INTERCOM CLICKS]
- [MOLLY] f*ck off.

[INTERCOM BEEPS]

Well, if I can't come in, could you
please send River Cartwright out?

[BEEPS]

I don't know who that is.

There isn't anyone else here.

I would ask you to come in and
take a look, but I will not have...

But you don't have Dogs on your floor.

Yeah, but I have to override that
if you're harboring an intruder.

Okay, come on in.

But I'll need your details,

- especially the one who called me a troll.
- [CHUCKLES]

I'll need his name for the HR
complaint I'm about to file.

[NICK] Hobbs!

- We're just gonna leave him in there?
- He's not in there.

[EMPLOYEE] It's their
golden wedding anniversary.

[CHUCKLES] I am not
buying them a subscription

to a bacon delivery service.

[LAUGHS] I don't care
how good the bacon is.

Yes, I know that's what Dad
wants, but what about Mum?

You know when she's all, "I
don't mind. Don't make a fuss"?

- She's always lying.
- [CREAKING]

Okay. Okay, fine.

You get them that, and I will
get them a decent present.

You know, to stop Mum rightfully
stinking out the whole weekend.

- [EMPLOYEE SIGHS] Okay.
- [CAR DOOR OPENS]

[OBJECT BANGS]

[GUARD] Hey, heading off early?

Nope... [SIGHS] ... still working.

Gotta go sit in on a meeting at the Met.

[GUARD] So you can write
down the big words for 'em?

[EMPLOYEE, GUARD LAUGH]

I used to go out with a
police officer, you know.

- [LAUGHS]
- [GUARD] Oh, uh, sorry. [CHUCKLES]

- [EMPLOYEE] Honestly, don't be.
- [GRUNTS]

[EMPLOYEE] He got suspended for
tasering himself in the foot.

And that wasn't even
in the top three reasons

why I left him so... [LAUGHS]

[GUARD LAUGHING] Oh, wow.

Okay.

- All right, take care, yeah.
- [EMPLOYEE] I'll see you.

[GRUNTING, BREATHING DEEPLY]

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

Right, I'm out. [PANTING]

[JACKSON] Don't think
you're getting a gold star.

Come on. I just broke in and out
of the Park. That's not nothing.

[SIGHS] Oh, I take that back.

Thank you for the sun which
shines out of your arse.

What, are you gonna tell me
why you pulled me out then?

Because you shouldn't have been
in there in the first place.

Yeah, well I thought
Standish's life was in danger.

No, you didn't think at all.

Then what the f*ck is
happening. Who's got her?

[BREATHES HEAVILY] A Tiger Team.

[CALL DISCONNECTS]

- Oh, sh*t... [GROANS]
- [TIRES SCREECH]

River! I can't believe you
left without saying goodbye.

- Hey, you dumb prick? Up here. Look.
- Now, listen. No, let's... [GROANS]

[COUGHS, GROANS]

[NICK] Ah, it's just
starting for you, sunshine.

Put him in the f*cking car!

["STRANGE GAME" PLAYING]