01x03 - Questa Lane

[bunniefuu]

[WHITNEY] We shared your story

with the owners of Barrier Coffee

and they have decided to
offer you a full-time position.

It's amazing. Thank you, guys.

I happen to know

Barrier Coffee is a paid
sponsor of your show.

[ASHER] We're not the enemy. We're
giving those businesses free rent

so this place has a fighting chance.

[DOUGIE] So I'm legally
responsible for the crash, you know.

I happen to get hit.

The one time I blew slightly over.

[ASHER] So you're just
hanging out in town

until we hear about the show or...

Wanna get a drink later? My treat.

I can't tonight.

[DEALER] Bust.

[ASHER] Oh, my God, you're pregnant.

I'm so happy.

- When did you find out?
- Yesterday.

- Yesterday?
- Mm-hmm. Yesterday.

The pregnancy is not viable.

You're going to have to get a
sh*t to stop the cell growth.

- [WHITNEY] I'd like to wait for Dr. Brown.
- Of course.

We're snapping up as
many plots as possible.

HGTV has a massive audience.

It can be the neighborhood
no one saw coming

because we invented it.

[MAN] You better hope
the show pans out, huh?

Okay.

♪♪

[ASHER] You bidding on Questa Lane?

[WOMAN] Questa Lane.
Well, that's a teardown.

You can't do anything with that one.

- Good. So don't bid on it.
- [SCOFFS]

It doesn't even have water rights.

Ah, the vultures are coming.

[MIMICS VULTURE]

The next item is in Questa Lane
for $20,000, 20,000, 20,000.

Looking for 25,000, 25,000,


Forty thousand, forty thousand.

Looking for 45,000, 45,000.

Fifty, fifty thousand, fifty thousand.

Fifty-five thousand. Fifty five.

Sixty thousand, sixty thousand.

Sixty-five thousand.

- Looking for 65,000.
- 62,500.

Sixty two five.

Looking for 65,000, 65,000.

Sold to bidder, sir?

What's your bidder number?
Seventeen for 62,500.

Bidder 17 for 62,500.

♪♪

[WHITNEY] But you said 40K max.

- [ASHER] I know and there was...
- [WHITNEY] I thought you said

- we were really squeezed.
- f*cking bidding against me.

It's just... I just thought
we could get it for that

but I think 62.5 is still...

Wait. What, what did they just laugh at?

- Sorry.
- Fernando f*cking up the latte.

[WOMAN] Fernando, what were you doing?

- [FERNANDO] Sorry.
- [DOUGIE] It's the only laugh.

[WHITNEY] Where did
they find these people?

[DOUGIE] Some mall, I think.

[MODERATOR] Let's start
with first impressions.

[DOUGIE] It's all the
demographic they want so...

doesn't even matter
where they found them.

There's a little discussion.

[CHUCKLES]

[MODERATOR] Okay. Let's
talk about the hosts then,

tell me about them.

_

_

- _
- [CHUCKLES]

If you're gonna be a sidekick,
at least be a funny sidekick,

and he was just kind
of there on the side.

_

- These people are idiots.
- [LAUGHING]

[MODERATOR] Okay. Let's,
let's, let's back up.

_

_

[WHITNEY] Dougie, can you
pause it? Can you pause it?

What does it mean that
they sent you this?

I don't know.

It could be that they're

trying to give themselves amm*nit*on

to not pick up the show.

You know, it's a classic
move that they do,

they blame the focus group, so.

Yeah, then again, I asked for
the tape in the first place,

so maybe that's why they sent it.

You said that you were pretty sure

they were gonna be
making the series, right?

I mean, our entire livelihood right now

is based on the fact that you said

they're probably gonna
pick up the series.

Yeah, I know, but that
was before I saw this, so.

Now I'm not so sure.

So you... so you're saying
they're not gonna make the show?

I don't know.

Maybe it did cause a
lot of good discussions,

so that's a good thing.

So what can we do then?
What, what are we gonna do?

Does this not stress you out too then?

I mean this is your project.

We should be finding solutions, right?

I mean, you're still in New Mexico,

why are you even here? This
should be a priority right now, no?

We don't need solutions from him...

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Is it okay if I eat these on the couch

or you're afraid I might stain them?

- Are those my blueberries?
- [DOUGIE] Yeah.

Sure. Go ahead.

[DOUGIE] Sorry. That was a mistake.

No big deal.

I won't eat them. I'll
put them right here.

Okay. Can we watch, please?

I'll clean it up later, okay?

- Sorry.
- _

_

_

... at least make me laugh
or be nice to look at.

_

_

So just talking about
from a design standpoint...

_

_

_

I think...

- [MODERATOR] Okay.
- Like...

_

- [ASHER] There you go.
- _

_

_

_

_

[MALE FOCUS GROUP
MEMBER] Earth's so warm...

[FEMALE FOCUS GROUP MEMBER]
Lost the argument right there.

[MODERATOR] Let's talk
about the design first.

[FEMALE FOCUS GROUP MEMBER]
Excuse me, I just need to ask,

do you not feel man-made emissions

are contributing to Earth's warming?

_

_

_

_

_

_

We obviously need programs like this.

Thank you.

_

_

_

_

_

_

_

[FEMALE FOCUS GROUP MEMBER


[FEMALE FOCUS GROUP MEMBER


do they take care of them?

- Good. This is good. This is what wanted, right?
- Yeah. Yeah.

- People are thinking about it.
- Yeah.

_

_

The husband...

_

_

He needs to have some kind of...

A part of the show,
maybe add it to the show,

_

- [DOUGIE] You guys hungry?
- _

_

Well, this is whack.

I'm gonna order some Dominos.

_

[DOUGIE] I saw they have
some new chicken fingers

that I wanted to try.

[FEMALE FOCUS GROUP MEMBER]
He's very unsure of himself

- a lot of times. I feel like...
- They look pretty good.

[FEMALE FOCUS GROUP MEMBER]
I guess or I think this just...

Isn't there just 15
minutes left of this?

Yeah, but it gets here fast.
They could be here in, like, 15.

Usually. Delivery.

We should just finish it.

- No?
- Okay. And then, eat after or...

- I'm, I'm good. Yeah.
- No.

I'm not hungry.

[MALE FOCUS GROUP MEMBER]
And all that means, you know,

that he knows what he's talking about.

Well, you know, but no,
the man was not funny.

_

_

What are they talking about? I'm funny.

[CHUCKLES]

[FEMALE FOCUS GROUP MEMBER]
So, he was given a...

[MALE FOCUS GROUP MEMBER]
He doesn't have to be funny.

[TEACHER] So we learned
about our primary colors,

and now we're gonna learn
about our secondary colors.

Our secondary colors are made
up from the primary colors,

and they are green, purple, and orange.

So we're gonna take blue and red

and mix them together
and see what we get.

Go ahead.

♪♪

Okay. Mix them together.

Nala, do you think you're feeling better

and you're ready to join the class?

Are you gonna be okay
joining the class now?

Are you sure? Okay. All right.

You can try. Come on.

Okay.

Let's try red and yellow
and see what we get.

Very good.

[LAUGHS]

Girls, pay attention.

Sorry.

[TEACHER] Yes, Rita, one more.

- Bye, little girl.
- Bye.

We had a class hamster, and it
d*ed and it was so sad today.

I like hamsters.

We had John for a couple of days ago.

I wanna make more bracelets.

To give to your friends?

- Yeah.
- Oh, okay.

And necklaces. See? I
already have the necklaces.

Can we play Roblox when we get home?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I heard about this Roblox update

about they added like a
new stock in Brookhaven.

[HANI] Yeah, there's a
new update in Brookhaven

[INDISTINCT] that they added recently.

And in Roblox about a wealth?

There's nothing there.

Where is it?

Nala, where is it?

I don't know.

Where's my basketball eraser?

I don't like basketball.
I never borrowed it.

Yeah, you did. I gave
it to you the other day.

- Stop denying it.
- Mmm.

Where's mmm? Where is it?

I don't know.

Where is it? Look, I'm
gonna take all your...

- How am I supposed to remember?
- I'm going to take all your dolls

- and hide it.
- How am I supposed to remember?

Oh, what do you mean, how
am I supposed to remember it?

I gave it to you, you
said you'd give it back

and it's been one day.

- So where is my...
- Well, that is not my responsibility.

That's not my responsibility.
If I give it to you,

it's your responsibility
to take care of it

and give it back to me.

- and make sure it's good.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]

♪♪

[LOUD KNOCK ON DOOR]

[DRILL WHIRRING]

Where is the phone at?

[WHIRRING]

[WHIRRING CONTINUES]

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Let's go! Let's go!

Oh, sorry.

[HANI] Let's go now! Let's go.
It's an emergency! Let's go!

Now!

- Nala, let's go.
- It's you. Hi.

- Hi.
- Nala.

- Let's go now!
- We know each other.

- Let's go!
- I have... I have money for you.

I have something for
you, I have money for you.

- Let's go, Nala, let's go.
- [ASHER] No, no, no. It's okay.

I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm not going to hurt you.

No. [SCOFFS]

Let's go now! Let's go.

Hello?

Just stop for one second.

[GRUNTS]

Girls.

♪♪

[PANTING]

Okay. Okay. Wait, wait, wait.

I have a hundred dollars for you, okay.

Just like I promised, okay?

You remember me, right,
from the parking lot?

We were filming with the white van,

the guys in the white
van, I was with them,

you had those tiny cans, right?

- You had those tiny cans.
- Hey.

Hey. Hi. Hi.

- Hey girls, how you doing?
- It's okay. It's okay.

- You know this guy?
- No. He broke into our house

- and now he's chasing us...
- They do know me.

No, they do. They... we, we
don't know each other well,

but they know me.

- It's okay.
- Yeah, yeah.

- It's okay. Come on, come here.
- It's okay. Yeah.

- Talk to me.
- Yeah.

- You know what's gonna happen?
- Yeah.

- Okay. Yes.
- Wait right here for a while.

- No, no, you don't understand.
- All right.

- Go about your day, sweeties, okay?
- No. Okay.

Did I tell you you can go anywhere?

No. Okay. Okay. Okay.

[PANTING]

- [ASHER] You don't understand.
- [MAN] You're gonna have a seat.

- Sit down.
- [ASHER] Okay.

I own the house down the block, okay?

- I'm your neighbor.
- So you don't have to tell me.

- No. Okay.
- No, no, no.

- Okay.
- You sit the f*ck down...

- Yeah, I'm sitting...
- or I will break your g*dd*mn neck!

Yes, sir. Yes.

See I want you to tell
them, explain it to them...

- Yes.
- You sick f*ck!

Cretin.

Give me the police.

I knocked. And no one... no
one answered and I only...

Show me where it's listed as vacant.

Right here.

Yeah, okay.

[POLICE OFFICER] So someone
is squatting, that makes sense.

Where are all your other properties?

We have a bunch. They're
all lower, middle San Pedro.

We do those mirrored homes. That's us.

- Oh, you're those guys?
- Yeah.

[SCOFFS]

You need to make sure to secure
anything that's sitting as vacant

- because this is happening more and more.
- Okay.

There's a new shelter that's
opened a couple days a week,

and it's a first come, first serve,

so they've all been shifting South.

I would get security
cameras, multiple locks.

Because once they, they settle
in like this, you know...

well, the law is a little bit tricky.

[INDISTINCT]

Can I help you?

Can I help you?

This is my home. [INDISTINCT]

You pay rent?

- Yes, sir.
- You pay rent.

- You got a lease agreement?
- Yes, I paid rent to Mr. Morales.

He didn't cash my check
for the last two years.

- To who?
- So I stopped.

Mr. Morales.

I didn't know... I wanted to pay.

- It's not my fault.
- The previous owner's estate stopped paying taxes

to the county before it was foreclosed.

All right.

I'll call the sheriff's
office right now.

We'll take care of this... today.

Don't they have three days?

If that's what you wanna do.

[INDISTINCT]

We don't need to involve the sheriff,

I can... I can handle this.

They can stay as long as they need.

Where'd you get those
grocery flats from?

Work. My work. I work
at the grocery store.

And they let you take those big things?

It's good.

Hi, I'm Asher.

Abshir.

Asher.

Abshir.

Asher.

Uh-hmm.

- Yes. It's a lovely home.
- Mm-hmm.

And the cop, you know, said,

"Well, they're not allowed to
stay here. They're squatters."

And I was like, "They can
stay as long as they want.

We don't do that to people."

[WHITNEY] You're sure
this is the same family...

- Yeah, yes. Yes.
- ... from the parking lot?

- Oh, my God.
- I know.

That must mean something.

I mean, they could stay for
a year even if they wanted...

I mean, we're just waiting

for the land value to increase and...

I mean, on property tax
is only 680 a year, so.

I mean, I could charge
some, you know, $58 a month,

but I'm not gonna do that.

This is so out of character
for you. [CHUCKLES]

I mean,

money doesn't really matter when

it's about doing the right thing.

And they wonder why I'm with you.

Who?

The focus group.

Oh, right.

[CHUCKLES]

Didn't they say they were
in transitional housing

when you gave them the
money? Didn't you say that?

Yeah, yeah, I guess things changed or...

I don't know. It's honestly really
hard to tell what's true with them.

I mean, they didn't even remember me

giving them that money.

You know, so I actually gave them

another hundred dollars today

because... but maybe they did remember

and they just wanted
another hundred dollars

and then pretending they didn't.
I honestly don't know with them,

but they're a little all over the map

so, I don't... I wouldn't...

I wouldn't take everything
with a grain of salt.

But it's... it's tough for them.
So I... you know, I empathize, yeah.

[SIGHS]

In a way, it's kind of a relief

just because we have the show
potentially happening and,

you know, it's just...
it's a lot all at once.

This will stop the cell growth

and hopefully one sh*t will be enough.

Just a little pinch here.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

[GROANS]

And we do suggest you
avoid having intercourse

until we can do your
blood work in a week.

After that point, you'll
need to use condoms

or other birth control
for at least a month.

Just think of it as putting
the babies on hold for now.

It's okay. Asher can
fill that role. [CHUCKLES]

Wah, wah.

Baby cry, cry. Nappy. Nappy time.

Is it good?

Yeah, how are you?

Energy okay? Numbness?

Um, I'm good. I'm... I'm happy.

Um, jokes aside,

will the injection
affect her period at all

- because I've been tracking it to the day.
- It could.

Okay. And so when you
say at least a month, um,

you know, her last period
was here and her next period,

is it gonna be on this period here?

So would this day be okay?

[DR. BROWN] I'd give it a little leeway.

Okay. Oh, and during the interim period,

is oral okay or finger penetration?

- Can we engage in...
- Ash...

No, it's... Because I read
that fluids can be tricky, so...

- [DR. BROWN] You should be all right.
- We should be? Okay.

So she's generating fluids
on her own, that's...

that would be okay? Okay. Great.

It's good to check on this stuff.

We... we got to... I've
read a lot about this.

So I think I know more
than you at this point.

- [WHITNEY] Yeah, yeah. Okay.
- Okay.

- Thank you, Dr. Brown.
- Mm-hmm.

That's all my questions.

Where did you go last
week? I saw your colleague.

[DR. BROWN LAUGHS] That is a wild story.

Well, it starts with a pint of Guinness.

[LAUGHTER]

- As every good story has.
- [WHITNEY] Of course. Yes.

[DR. BROWN] Okay. I, I've,
I've, I've felt this affinity

for things with [INDISTINCT].

Is that house livable?

Is there structural damage or anything?

We should do renovations, Ash.

I mean, they've been living there.

Yeah, but what if we put,
$5,000 or $6,000 into it,

we can make it really nice for them.

Yeah, I mean, we should
definitely make it nice.

I just... We don't wanna change
their environment too much.

I mean, we could do a lot
with two grand even or,

you know, one to two grand.

Even, 500 bucks can do a lot.

I'm just saying, it's like,
any money, it's a teardown.

- Any money we put in, we're not getting back.
- [PHONE RINGING]

So it's just... But we'll make
it nice, we'll make it nice.

Dougie. Hey.

- [DOUGIE] Yo, Ashman, what's happening?
- Hey, any news?

[DOUGIE] Oh, no news. Uh,

was just in your neighborhood
and taking a walk,

just wondering if you're around.

Oh, no, I'm out right now.

[DOUGIE] Oh, okay. Are you far away

because I can hang
out until you get back?

Um, yeah. We got a
pretty busy day actually

so I'm not gonna be around.

But let us know if you hear
anything about the show, okay?

Dougie?

[DOUGIE] Yup.

Okay. Let us know if
you hear anything, okay?

- [DOUGIE] Okay.
- Okay. I'll see you later.

[BREATHING SHARPLY]

[SOBBING]

[SOBS]

Whoa, what's going on with
Barrier? Why is it closed?

- I don't know.
- Park there. Park there.

Okay.

[DOOR BEEPING]

What? Call Jamie.

Okay.

Why does Barrier say "Coming soon?"

When did that go up?

Um, it was up when I came
in this morning, I think.

Oh, it went... Okay. So that didn't
fall into the category of things

you feel you should call me about?

Un-f*cking-believable.

The shops, they are
supposed to be staying open.

[JAMIE] Yeah.

I mean, that's not
technically what was agreed to.

The spirit of the agreement
was that the stores were gonna

have an ongoing presence.

That's why we're not charging them rent.

- All right.
- Is this closed too?

The spirit of the agreement,
um, was that the stores...

[JAMIE] Yeah, yeah. I,
I heard her. It is...

- Okay. Yeah, yeah.
- What is going on?

[JAMIE] That is the
spirit of the agreement.

It's just, they're not
required to stay open except

during production of the show.

I mean, you know, they, they have staff,

they have operating costs.

I, I, I don't think it's realistic

to expect the business

to remain open indefinitely
if they're losing money.

We've promised people
jobs, so we can't just...

We promised people jobs.

[JAMIE] I know.

Look, hopefully they'll be
good news soon about the show.

And then this all will
just be a non-issue.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Um...
- [WHITNEY] Great.

[JAMIE] I wish I had a
better answer for you.

Just, you know, give me a
call if you need anything else.

Okay. Thanks, Jamie.

- [JAMIE] Yup. Bye-bye.
- Okay. Bye.

[FERNANDO] Hello?

Hola, Fernando.

Uh, we just drove by Barrier
Coffee and I'm so sorry,

we had no idea it was closed.

[FERNANDO] It's fine. I
figured it was for the show.

Like not a real thing, not long-term.

No, it was. It is long-term.
Um, but we were thinking...

[CLICKS TONGUE] that because
the stores are closed right now,

we might need some security.

And I remembered that you had mentioned

you had done security
work before, is that right?

- And, uh...
- [FERNANDO] Yeah.

... we wanted to know if you...

if you'd like to do security
for the plaza for a little bit,

just why... while the stores are closed.

The same rate, same hours?

[FERNANDO] Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]

Great.

[FERNANDO] You're gonna want me there

from 8:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m.

The freaks come out at night.

Okay. Yeah. Whatever you think.

Whatever, whatever's best for you.

- [FERNANDO COUGHS]
- Great.

[CHUCKLES] Okay. Thanks, Fernando.

[FERNANDO] What's so funny?

Uh, nothing. Sorry, I,
uh, I had a text that...

- I tickled her, that's why.
- Okay. Bye, Fernando.

- Thank you so much.
- Bye, Fernando. It's Asher.

- What?
- [SIGHS]

[WHITNEY] Luisa?

[ASHER] That was really
nice. You feel good, huh?

I mean, I just... I, I knew it.

It should have been
all local businesses.

It should have been Native
Grounds or Dead Sea Salts

- or, you know, it, it's just...
- If we're trying to appeal

the buyers out of state,
you know, and attract them,

I, I think that shops do need to appeal

to a national audience.

I think we're, we're okay. We're okay.

- Yeah, I guess.
- It's just unfortunate.

What about the other people
that worked there, though?

Maybe we should start
a GoFundMe or something.

That's a beautiful idea,
Whit. That's beautiful. Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Definitely. Yeah.

Obviously, Fernando
needed more attention

because, you know, we've made promises

that he's featured in the show, but...

And, and GoFundMe could be
great for the other people

if we feel we need to go down that road.

I don't think it's urgent that
we, we, we start with that,

but, yeah, we can look
into that on a future day

if we feel we need to.

- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- ♪ ... loves me ♪

♪ Then maybe you would understand ♪

["IF YOU COULD ONLY
SEE" BY TONIC PLAYING]

♪ Why I feel this way about our love ♪

[INDISTINCT] Come, come
around. Come to the back.

All right. Okay.
Around, around the back.

Hi.

[ASHER] You see him in there?

- [WHITNEY] Okay.
- [ASHER] That's the father.

[WHITNEY] Okay.

There's a plastic on the windows.

[ASHER] I know. I know.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hey. Are you sure now
is still a good time?

Yeah. No, it's okay. Come, come in.

- Okay. Okay. Um...
- Okay. Okay.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[INDISTINCT] Thank you. [CLEARS THROAT]

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

I don't care. Why let them in?

- [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
- [SNAPS]

I don't care. I'm not
talking to you again.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- This is my wife Whitney.
- Hello.

- This is Abshir.
- Nice to meet you.

Abshir, which is very
similar sounding to Asher.

- It is. [CHUCKLES]
- Abshir, Asher. So...

- Oh, my.
- ... maybe this is meant to be.

What are you making?
It smells delicious.

Yes. Uh, I'm making hot dogs.

[GASPS]

Do you make them with rice?

Water?

Oh it's... I, I prefer
them boiled in water.

But then after do you... do
you, put them with veggies

or, or with rice?

No. Buns.

- Cookout style!
- Mm-hmm.

Classic hot dog, ketchup, mustard.

- Hmm, it's a must have.
- [SIGHS] Um...

- Um, come in, please. Sit.
- So... Oh, thank you.

Oh, this must be the little angel

I've heard so much about. Hi.

- Hi.
- [CHUCKLES] Hi.

Your name is Whitney?

[ASHER] So, I got you
this brand-new deadbolt.

How did you know that?

He just said it.

I must have missed that.

And you see the price right there.

So this is a heavy duty one.

You won't see any jokers
like me drilling through this.

- Feel that weight.
- Oh.

Yeah? Pretty good, huh?

So I can install that right
now. Comes with two keys.

So I'm gonna give you one.

- Okay.
- I'll keep the other.

That way, I have a backup,

and no one can get in besides us.

- You're gonna take one?
- Yeah.

In case you need a copy
or you forget yours.

Is that okay?

Okay. So we'll replace
the broken windows.

And then I saw this one in the sunroom.

Are there any others?

No, no. That's it.

Okay. I also noticed you
have a lot of water bottles.

How is your tap water?

[SIGHS] Do we have to
pay rent if you do this?

Uh, no. No, no, no, no.

This is... this is so you can

have a more comfortable
place to live for free.

Can you write that down
for me, that it's free?

I, I don't really, uh,
deal with contracts,

but we'll have Asher do it.

Absolutely. Yes.

- Thank you.
- Of course.

Um, all right. I did
notice a little bit,

of water damage.

Sorry about earlier.

It's that window in the sunroom

and the roof needs the most work.

- [ASHER] Yeah.
- [WHITNEY] Can that be done

while they're in the...

[ASHER] Yeah. I'll take
longer if they're here,

but it's not as bad
as I thought it'd be.

It's a michegoss.

Mitzvah. "Michegoss"
means something else.

Hmm. Hmm.

Mitzvah, mitzvah.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Hi.

[GIRL] I don't have... [INDISTINCT]

♪ Cash money easy money ♪

Is that, TikTok?

Oh, I love that. Do you like to dance?

We do dances together, but we're
not supposed to post them online.

That's so fun.

I'm sorry about when you both
met Asher in the parking lot.

He was wrong not to give you that money.

That's why I tiny-cursed him.

You did? [CHUCKLES]

That's so interesting.
What's a tiny curse?

It's a trend that everyone
was doing two months ago,

but no one does anymore.

[CHUCKLES] Like, a TikTok
trend? That's so funny.

I love that. So what...
How does it work?

Like, do you just make up a tiny curse?

You have to think something
small, like, that's funny,

like, like your shoelace is untied.

- Mm-hmm.
- Something annoying.

[CLICKS TONGUE] So what,
what did you think of

when you tiny-cursed Asher?

I took the chicken out of his dinner.

[WHITNEY] You did? Okay.
Good. He deserved that.

[HANI] Now, the new trend is that
people are painting their nails

and showing like this.

[WHITNEY] Like this? [CHUCKLES]

[HANI] There's nothing on there.

[WHITNEY] Uh, there is
something on there. It's clear.

[HANI] No, there's not. No, it's not.

[WHITNEY] Mm-hmm. Yes, it is.

[HAN] You can't see... I can't
see it. There's nothing on there.

Taking chicken out of dinners?

No. It's, it's, it's anything
but no one's doing anymore.

But why chicken?

I don't know. It's
just what I thought of.

- [SNICKERS]
- She's stupid. That's why.

[NALA] Call me stupid one more time,

you're gonna wish you weren't born.

Because we were missing
chicken from our dinner

that the day you said that.

That's funny.

What was the dinner that
you took the chicken from?

Chicken spaghetti.

[WHITNEY] Chicken spaghetti?
Sounds good. Silly.

We need to do a mold test,
that should be priority.

Yeah, right.

- I mean, the windows...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sit up, sit up.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[ABSHIR] Put the phone down.

Sorry. That was rude of me.
Would you like some dinner?

I would love a hotdog
myself. Ash, do you want one?

- Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks.
- [WHITNEY] Okay.

I'll help you. No, no, no.

[ABSHIR] No, it's
okay. It's okay. I'll...

I noticed you're touching your
neck a lot. Do you have pain?

[SIGHS] Yeah, it's just, um,

that the muscle end up with the bone.

[WHITNEY] Oh, that's
joint pain. Do you...

do you take any supplements?

Vitamin K or anything like that?

[ABSHIR] No.

[LIP-SYNC] I curse you.

[VOCALIZING]

I curse you.

[VOCALIZING]

I curse you.

[VOCALIZING]

- [LIP-SYNC] I curse you.
- [VOCALIZING]

[WHITNEY] The zipper is
jammed. It's completely stuck.

Ash, can you help me with this, please?

You think that girl could have
been going through our trash?

[STAMMERING] What? What do you mean?

Just that's how she knew
what we had in our meal.

- No, it's just like a...
- Just the missing...

... thing kids are saying. It's a trend.

But none of them do
anything related to chicken.

- Oh, f*ck this.
- [WHITNEY] Oh, I don't know.

Chicken is, like, the most generic food.

Can we... Should we just pull it off?

[GROANS] Well, I'm gonna
stretch it if I do that.

Yeah, but I don't care...
I don't care about the shirt.

- So let's just...
- Are you sure?

Yeah. Let's just stretch
it. Just pull it off.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- [GRUNTS]
- Ah.

You don't think it was weird
that she knew it was pasta though?

I don't know. Maybe she's
a little psychic. Pull hard.

[GRUNTS, CHUCKLES]

- I can't, honestly.
- Oh, God! [CHUCKLES, SIGHS]

Hmm. Maybe I should leave it
like this for a few days. Hmm?

- Okay. [CHUCKLES] It's not...
- Come on.

[GRUNTS] It's not funny
but it's funny, okay?

Can you please... [CHUCKLES]
just get this off, please?

- Okay.
- Go.

I'm gonna totally have to
destroy it to take this off.

It's okay. I don't
care. Just destroy it.

All right. Uh, bend over.

Okay. Arms out like Superman.
You have to resist me, okay?

Okay. I'm resisting.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Just really resist.
- Okay.

Pull back. Pull your body back.

- Ooh.
- [GRUNTS]

- I don't know. This is...
- sh*t.

[GRUNTS]

Ah! [SIGHS] Okay.

- Okay. Ready?
- Okay. Okay. Yeah.

- Okay.
- Go. Go, go, go.

- Pull back.
- [GRUNTING]

- You gotta resist more.
- I am. Oh, my God.

- [SNICKERS] This is gonna break.
- [MUMBLING] I don't care...

- You gotta pull backwards.
- I'm trying.

You got to pull back. You got...

- [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS] Oh, my God!

Are you okay? Are you okay?

Oh, my God. Whoa!

This is us, Ash.

[SIGHS]

I wish the network could see this.

Oh. You know what? We
should do this again.

And I put it on my Instagram.

You know, the network
is looking at that.

- Do... Like, the sweater?
- Let's do... let's do that again.

Yeah, it's exactly us.
Let's do it. Here. Hold on.

It's so funny.

Okay.

Okay. Okay. Let's go.

- You don't need... Okay.
- It's just... No, no, no.

Okay. All right. So, just
exactly like that, okay?

- Okay. Okay.
- The struggle with the zipper.

Just the zipper on this one.

Okay. Okay. Wait. Hold
on, hold on. Hold on.

Let me light it up,
one second. Okay. Ready?

- Uh-huh.
- Does my hair look crazy?

- [CHUCKLES] It's good.
- Okay. Okay. Um, okay.

So my sweater zipper has
been stuck, like, 10 times.

It's gotten jammed, right?

So Asher's been trying
to get me out of it

for the past five minutes.

I mean, join us...
[CHUCKLES] in this insanity.

Maybe I should call one of our
contractors to help us out with this.

Uh, you want one of our contractors

to undress me in our bedroom?

Fine by me. [CHUCKLES]

[SNICKERS] I don't want you
having sex with another man.

[SCOFFS] Well, I mean, who says
our contractor has to be a man?

- Touché.
- [CHUCKLES]

Okay. That was good. I feel
like I want you to say...

There's a line you said
earlier that I thought was good.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Put your
arms out like Superman?

No, Superman, yeah, but
then, um... Oh, oh, the, um...

[CLICKS TONGUE] You know...

"I want to keep you
in this for a while."

- [CLICKS TONGUE] Oh, okay. Okay.
- That one. Okay. Okay.

[CLEARS THROAT] Okay. Just please,

can you just get it off of me?

- All right.
- [CHUCKLES] Thank you.

- I might rip it.
- Oh, that's okay.

I don't care. [CHUCKLES]

All right. Hmm.

Maybe I should keep it like
this for a couple of days.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, my God, Ash. Stop it.

All right.

Here, hold on. I'm
gonna put it over here.

We should get the rest of this.
Okay. All right. This is good.

- So pulling up?
- Like... Yup. Okay. Just get it off.

- [CHUCKLES] Okay.
- Get it off.

- All right.
- Please. [CHUCKLES]

All right.

[CLICKS TONGUE] I feel like
we need more of the struggle,

because that's what was
really making us laugh before.

Yes. It's a different shirt

that it's looser here,
so it's not gonna...

Okay. Maybe I'll just keep my
arms in a little bit more then,

like, pull them into my body

and then I'll create
some resistance. Hold on.

Okay.

Are we still good? Okay.
We're still recording. Okay.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Okay.

Just get it off of me, please.

- Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay.
- [CHUCKLES] Oh, my God.

Just pull. Pull, pull.

- Okay.
- Okay. [CHUCKLES] Okay. Go.

Okay. Oh, this is gonna rip.

- I don't know. I could destroy it, Whit.
- [LAUGHS] It's okay. Just destroy it.

- Okay.
- [LAUGHING] Oh, my God. This so crazy.

There you go.

[LAUGHING] Oh, my God.

I feel like with what you're
doing with your arms here,

it looked like you were,
like, holding the shirt back.

So it looked fake, I think.

Just from...

- Through the kitchen...
- Mm.

Through the kitchen window, you can,
kind of, see us from the outside.

We're in the bedroom. No one can see us.

No, I know. If they were
going through the trash

and then they...

they came around the side of the house,

they could've seen, what,

what we were eating or what
we were talking about...

You think that every
disadvantaged person

is just like a wild animal

going through our garbage?

[STAMMERING] No, I'm, I'm,
I'm, I'm not being judgmental.

- They're living in poverty.
- I, I think we should not make

any assumptions about them, okay?

This looks very, very
fake. I'm just gonna...

You know what? I'm gonna
put my arms straight out.

Here, give me the sweater.

I'm gonna put my arms straight
out and then I'm just gonna,

kind of, create some, like,
between my cheek and my arm.

I think that'll create some
resistance. [CLEARS THROAT]

I'm not making assumptions

about Abshir and his family, okay?

I'd say the exact same
thing if they were white.

I'm being very realistic
about their circumstances

and I take offense

to the fact that you're
not validating my feelings

- when I'm talking about this stuff.
- Oh, my God. Come on, Ash.

Don't give me that sh*t.

What does their race have to do with it?

"Assumptions". You said that.

"Let's not make any assumptions."

You said it just like that.

Okay. You made that connection. Not me.

[SCOFFS] Whit, when
you saw that little girl

and you thought that she
could actually do curses,

I could have definitely
accused you of something,

but I didn't,

and I'm not going to now.

Do you know why?

Because I know your heart's
in the right place, okay?

And I give you the benefit of the doubt.

But you never do that with
me, ever. And it hurts, okay?

Look, hey, do not put words in my mouth.

I was speaking karmically. I,
I was talking about the fact

that if something doesn't make sense,

- it doesn't...
- You're doing it.

You have a chance right
now to validate me,

and you didn't do it.

I said the sentence that Lisa told us to

- and you're still attacking me.
- It's a very small world that you're living.

- This is nasty.
- Your world is so tiny. You're so simple...

What you're doing right
now, Whit, this is nasty

what you're doing! It's nasty right now!

... minded, okay?

This is... I said exactly
what Lisa told us to say...

You're breaking it. I said the
sentence but you're not doing it!

I...

I think that, that both of
our feelings are valid, okay?

So just let's go to... let's go to bed.

[SINGING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[ASHER] And I'm not
accusing you, you know,

because I know your heart
is in the right place

and I give you the benefit of the doubt.

but you never do that with
me, ever. And it hurts, okay?

[WHITNEY] Look, hey, do
not put words in my mouth.

I was speaking karmically.

I, I was talking about the fact

that if something doesn't make sense...

- Pull it off of me, please.
- Okay. [LAUGHS]

[SINGING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

♪♪