01x01 - The Yankee Dodge

[bunniefuu]

[THUMPING]

[CROWD CLAMOURING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

CROWD: [CHANTING] Cut! Cut!

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

- CROWD: Cut! Cut!

- MAN 1: Cut him!

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

Sign here.

Do you even earn that in a year?

No, you cheated!

He's a miserable sh1tting cheat.

Wait, wait!

I'm good for it. I

can get you the money.

Show-off.

Jealous?

[CROWD CLAMOURING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Gentlemen.

The Royal Hospital somewhat proudly

presents Dr. Rainsford Sneed.

[CROWD CHEERING]

And the much celebrated

Dr. Jack Dawkins.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Now, we have a fine one

for you today, gents.

A leg, shattered. Falling

down a mine shaft, was it?

[CROWD CLAMOURS]

The question, though, is who cuts?

Heads.

CROWD: Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

[CLAMOURING INTENSIFIES]

- Me.

- [CROWD CHEERING]

- I bet you can't do it under 43.

- A pound says 29.

When have you ever had a pound?

As soon as you lose.

Gentlemen!

Dr. Sneed here seems to think

that I can't amputate this leg in

less than his record of 43 seconds.

[CROWD BOOS]

Well, I beg to differ!

[CROWD CHEERS]

Mr. Champflower, this will be

the worst 30 seconds of your life,

but I promise, I will

make it as quick as I can.

Your favourite memory.

Take your mind there now.

[CROWD CLAMOURING]

MAN 1: Here we go.

MAN 2: Get in there!

- MAN 3: Hack him.

- Time me.

- [CROWD CHEERING]

- [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHAMPFLOWER GROANS]

Time?

- Twenty-eight seconds, gentlemen.

- [CHEERING]

Twenty-eight seconds!

A lucky cut.

TIM: Come on, gents, let's go.

Into the hat, come on. It'll

all go to Dr. Dawkins, let's go.

- Come on!

- Good man.

FANNY: She's so stubborn!

Never considers all the work I've

done to find her a good match.

Just completely focused

on whatever harebrained

[GASPS] Don't do that!

- What?

- Whatever that is.

You stormed in on me.

What's that ungovernable stench?

Your perfume?

No, it's ether.

The new Lancet reports the

most extraordinary thing.

You can give the patient ether,

and they don't feel a thing.

I mean, you can perform

surgery without pain.

Can't you understand?

This changes everything.

Oh, my God. That's so interesting.

Come. The Honourable Mortimer

Smales is soon to arrive,

and there is so much to do.

Remind me.

The Honourable Mortimer Smales.

He just sailed four months from England.

Do you know how much effort it takes to

get potential suitors out to Australia?

Oh.

No, I'm, I'm far too busy to

meet anybody called Mortimer.

Can you please hurry up and

marry someone, so then I can

Engage in what the wedding service

so delicately calls "sexual union"?

Oh, God, you're so vulgar.

This is the sixth

suitor you've sent away.

What was wrong with the last

one? Sir Jeremy Glasscock?

His teeth.

You know perfectly well

I can't marry 'til you do.

See, that just makes no sense.

You should marry whoever

you like, whenever you like.

Go and marry the Honourable Snail.

- Society doesn't work that way.

- Fine.

All right, tell Mildred,

or whatever his name is

that I will marry him, all right?

I just can't meet him

for a little while.

- Really?

- No.

Get out.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

- How's that squawker, Mrs. Wellings?

- Still noisy.

Good, good. Healthy

lungs. You're doing well.

Dr. Jack.

Leg good, Mr. Hootens?

Actually, it's been sore again.

Been up all night.

When I try and bend it, it's agony.

You see, I think

Why don't you come

see me at the hospital?

Yeah

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

- Charlie.

- Jack.

- Here you go.

- Thank you.

What'd he do?

[CROWD GASPS]

Escaped convict.

DARIUS: Get out! Get

out of the way. Jack!

Get out of here!

I really don't feel comfortable

doing this, Dr. Jack,

but I've got responsibilities.

[DODGER GROANS]

This isn't London, Jack.

There's nowhere to hide.

I know where you work.

- Twenty-six pounds by next Monday.

- Friday.

Tuesday.

And I'll be merciful. I'll

let you choose which hand.

Was it really necessary to

come outside so early, Fanny?

He's had ever so long a journey,

we must be here to greet him.

- What do you think he'll be wearing?

- Clothes, one hopes.

[GROANS SOFTLY]

Could you at least try and be excited?

Better.

I'm so thrilled I might pop.

Lovely.

[CARRIAGE APPROACHING]

[DOG BARKS]

- [DOG BARKS]

- GOVERNOR: Shush, shush, boy.

Mr. Smales. It is my pleasure

to introduce you to Lady

[CLEARS THROAT]

Lady Belle.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

"Sweet lady with eyes so bright,

"that fill my heart with such delight."

No, thank you.

Say something to him.

Did you know, Mr. Smales, the

human bowel is 15 feet long?

If you stretch it out, it would be

you, plus me, plus a bit of Fanny.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

GUARD: New convicts, over here.

GAINES: Barely any labour left

in them after these seas voyages.

Just sea sores and scurvy.

Chain g*ng.

Also, chain g*ng.

[THUDS]

Chain g*ng for this one, too.

Enough.

Cheer up, Dawkins. You look

like you swallowed a lemon.

- Name?

- Milly Wince.

And your crime?

I stole clothes for me baby,

but he d*ed on the way over.

What was his name?

Benjy.

She can help the schoolma'am.

[WHISPERS] But I can't read.

It's all right, they'll teach you.

All right, next.

GAINES: Chain g*ng!

[MAN BREATHING HEAVILY]

Hello, Dodge.

Been a time?

[HORSE NEIGHS]

Dog got your tongue?

You're dead.

They hanged you 15 years ago in Newgate.

Surprise, surprise. [CHUCKLES]

What are you?

Why are they all salutin'

you like you're royalty?

I was a navy surgeon, an officer.

Oh.

You've done well for yourself,

boy. I'm proud of you.

What are you doing here, Fagin?

Well, Her Majesty and I thought

that I could benefit from a

bit of quiet time in the colony.

Now, listen to me.

I can decide your fate

with a stroke of my pen,

so if one word gets

out about our past

No, I would never do that. Never. Never.

To even think it hurts.

No. I'm here for you, just

as I hope you're here for me.

Because sometimes, a covey gets

pushed into a corner like a rat,

and the only way out is to bite.

So, don't make me bite you, Dodge.

What do you want?

Well, a little bird flapped

in and whispered to me

that you'd escaped

from prison in London.

Do they hang escaped convicts here?

I'll take that as a yes.

Don't fret, I'd never give you up,

just keep me off that chain g*ng.

GAINES: Dawkins.

Everything all right?

Yes. I thought he might

have something contagious,

but it's just his stench.

Where's he going?

I need another on the chain g*ng.

Doesn't matter if he

doesn't last that long.

No, I was thinking of making

him my convict servant.

Really? That's unconventional.

- I see untapped potential.

- GAINES: Very untapped, I'd say.

Yes, I have a nose

for this kind of thing.

Yes, well, you'll want to plug it.

The man smells like

a Yorkshire pig house.

- I like him.

- Come on.

What is this?

It's hurting me lungs. I

can't put me finger on it.

It's fresh air. Pick up my bag.

What?

Pick up my bag.

Why?

Because you are my servant now.

If you do not do what I

say, I will have you flogged.

Dodge.

Dodge, has it come to this?

You'll need to look

less syphilitic scarecrow

if you wanna be my servant.

Very nice. Why are you so scratchy?

Why am I so scratchy?

Because you left me in a cell,

as a boy, alone in the cold.

You abandoned me.

The minute Oliver got me pinched,

you walked away, and never came back.

I did try to help you as

soon as the coast was clear.

They said you'd escaped in a

snowstorm, no shoes, middle of winter.

No one survives that.

I thought you was dead.

And you went on your merry way.

Look. Don't you think I grieved?

Don't you think I suffered?

I fell apart when you left.

It was agony, Dodge. I couldn't

sleep, I cried every night,

I woke up with me mouth all dry

because there was no more tears.

I wanted them to hang

me just to get it over.

Because the worst I done,

worse than all me bad deeds,

is I left me beautiful boy.

And I could never forgive meself.

I prayed. I did. I asked

God to snap me neck.

And I did not protest on

the way to the gallows,

I yearned for them because

I deserved the rope.

And then that sh1tting

do-gooder Oliver Twist saved me

at the last second with a reprieve.

Well, all is forgiven then.

Look, look, I know you don't believe me,

but ever since I rescued you

from outside that pub as a baby

You told me you rescued me from inside.

Inside, outside, it's all one.

But ever since then, I have

loved you in me own odd way.

With me own odd heart.

Awful lot of wealthy people

in this town, isn't there?

DODGER: I will give

you a roof and a job.

Only because I am a doctor,

and you look like you've

been spat out a bilge hole.

Well, in a manner of speaking, I have.

Once you're healthy, you're out.

Jiminy, look at this!

Do not touch anything.

You shall sleep here, understood?

[FAGIN EXHALES]

That's the floor.

DODGER: Yes. Well done.

You can wear these. I'm

sure Mr. Grundy won't mind.

Why not?

'Cause he is dead.

Gangrene last Thursday.

[GASPS SOFTLY] Bit whiffy.

But, yeah, nice, nice.

How did you get here?

A good man gave me a future.

Well, yes, I always tried for you.

Not you. Captain Grimm.

The man I pinched the watch from.

He was a Navy officer, and

he liked my quick fingers.

He saw the mess you'd left me

in and decided to help me escape.

There you go. There you go.

Your good fortune's all down to me.

And how'd you work that out?

Pickpocketing.

How'd' you think you got

those quick fingers, Doctor?

And if I hadn't have let you get nicked,

you'd never be a surgeon, would ya?

Well, thank you very much, Fagin.

There's no need. It's

what a father does.

[CHUCKLES] Look at these.

Ah!

Now, I can see you clearly.

Let's have a little look.

Oh, dear.

Oh, no. [CHUCKLES]

What's up your cranny?

You're not the happy Dodge I knew.

I have a 26 pound debt on my head.

And if I don't pay it, I

get my hand chopped off.

Which one?

My choice.

Well, that's something.

Then I come at a fortuitous time. There.

If by that, you mean pilfering,

I'm afraid those days are

long gone. I am an officer.

- Former.

- A gentleman.

- Sort of.

- And a surgeon.

Not without both your hands.

HETTY: Doctor, we need

you in the surgery now.

The professor's drunk and he

wants to operate on Mr. Hootens.

You do not leave this room.

HETTY: He's been at

the gin since morning.

[MAN GROANS]

I told you it was sore, doc.

Don't worry, I'm gonna

save you, all right?

Gentlemen,

today, we perform Hunter's

procedure for a popliteal aneurysm.

We open up the thigh, ligate the

artery, and if it bursts, he dies.

But he's not going to die today.

Scalpel. Thank you.

Hold still.

ALISTAIR: [SLURRING]

What? No, I'm taking over.

- This needs a steady hand.

- We have it, Professor.

I very much doubt that.

Scalpel.

DODGER: Not that one, sir.

- Higher, sir!

- [SCREAMS]

ALISTAIR: You distracted

me during a vital procedure!

You had the wrong artery!

Sneed, give me a hand.

Tourniquet! Tourniquet, now!

Sneed, quickly!

Quickly!

- Three, two, one, exsanguinate.

- Come on. Come on. Wake up.

- No!

- [CROWD GROANS]

You shouldn't have interfered, Dawkins.

That'll go on your loss tally now.

ALISTAIR: He's just not up to the task.

Sad, but true.

The idea of having a

man of his low standing,

- was always gonna be fraught.

- Well, worth a go.

Surely, there must be

somebody more competent.

GOVERNOR: Not in Port Victory.

Next option's four months off in London.

What happened to the last

fellow you recommended, Prof?

Dr. Hopmoor.

k*lled the patient, an observer,

and himself in one surgery.

And from memory, he's the only surgeon

in history with a 300% mortality rate.

Hmm.

So, he's not an option, then. Pity.

ALISTAIR: We'll find someone.

But Dawkins just isn't up to scratch.

LADY JANE: That's a

shame and surprising.

He had the most

extraordinary recommendation

from the First Lord of the Admiralty

Yes, wartime's different. It's

LADY JANE: What was it he said?

"The most brilliant young

surgeon in the Royal Navy."

Yes. Yes, something along those lines.

Hmm.

You doubt his surgical skill, Rainsford?

Well Not that.

- He's insolent.

- Yes.

He's a liberal and a radical.

He takes too many risks, and

he doesn't follow the rules.

LADY JANE: Well, if you think so, Prof.

You'll have to write to the First

Lord of the Admiralty, darling,

and explain how terribly wrong he was.

Hmm.

Well, I think we might continue this

little experiment for a while longer.

But if he puts another

foot wrong, out on his ear.

Worth a read.

Nicely played.

I rather thought so.

Now, I want you to spend some

time with Mr. Smales, darling.

Don't just dismiss him out

of hand like all the others.

- Captain Gaines.

- I need the Governor to sign these.

- And what are they?

- Government business.

What kind?

Well

death warrants.

Ridding the colony of some

of its more noxious elements.

Yes, this one stole a chicken.

I can see why she poses

such a thr*at to good order.

I'll see my husband gets them.

You bastard.

Where's my

How did you?

[YOUNG DODGER GROANS AND COUGHS]

You cocky little sh*t.

You think your mate

Fagin's gonna get you out?

You're here for 15 years.

FAGIN: Is he? Shift over, shift over.

Fagin. I knew you wouldn't leave me.

I'd never do that, Dodge.

Now, the thing is, my dear, right now,

I'm being blamed for a m*rder

that I definitely didn't do.

We're gonna keep our

heads down for the moment.

I can't get you out immediately.

I've gotta look after number one.

YOUNG DODGER: No.

Fagin, you can't leave me here.

Please. Please don't leave me here.

FAGIN: Who's really in prison, eh?

I mean, you've got a

roof over your head.

You have a meal once in a while.

Whereas me and the boys are

still chained to the vicissitudes

of having to make a living.

And you'll be a king

when you get out of here.

Lagged for 15 years at

13. I'm proud of you, boy.

You've established a

glorious reputation.

The g*ng won't be the same without ya.

See you, Dodge.

BOY: Bye, Dodger.

No. Fagin, please

don't leave me in here.

Dodge,

if it helps, I do feel bad about this.

SMALES: Would you like

to play the harp for me?

- No.

- Oh.

I was rather hoping you'd say, "Yes."

Uh, did I tell you I had

a book of poetry published?

Several times.

Well, self-published.

That's how Wordsworth started out.

No, it's not.

Shall I read you some?

It's called, Upon The Dew-Lit

Morn, My Soul Took Flight, and Flew

"Upon the dew-lit morn "

- Where are you going?

- He's an insufferable bore.

Yes, but a rich one and from good stock.

Turn around.

At least show him the

town before you refuse him.

GOVERNOR: Marriage, Bonny.

Something you dogs don't

have to be tormented by.

[CLEARS THROAT]

And more's the pity for them.

BELLE: We have nothing in common.

- Talk to him about hospitals.

- Why?

Because his family founded one.

Didn't they, Mr. Smales?

SMALES: Well, uh, hospitals.

Other side of the family, of course.

Birmingham, Manchester, somewhere north.

India, one of them.

Fanny, why didn't you say something?

Come, we're going to see the hospital.

I've never been, and

I've always wanted to.

A hospital? No. What about miasma?

She'll catch some dreadful

- I would hate to disappoint Mr. Smales.

- I'm not really

BELLE: Have you ever heard of ether?

SMALES: Ether? No, was

he a friend of Bunty's?

How are you feeling, Mr. Champflower?

Me foot itches like one of Rotty's

dollymops, but it isn't there.

The phantom limb will soon fade.

I need a phantom hand to

bloody scratch it with.

Made this from a nice

little bit of damun.

You mob call it "fig wood," eh?

Put a soft cushion in

there for your stump, too.

- CHAMPFLOWER: Thanks, Tim.

- TIM: No worries!

DODGER: You'll be walking in no time.

- Are you breaking out?

- FAGIN: Yep.

Gotta sniff the place

out, get a feel for it.

- You know we're on the second floor?

- Yes, I realise that now.

That's why I'm tryna get back in.

Well, go on, then.

I think me back's seized up.

And me hip. Maybe me knee.

Yes, all right.

You try bein' in irons for four months,

and let's see how limber you are.

All right, come on.

- Two. Come here.

- [FAGIN GROANS]

[GRUNTS] Jehovah!

[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Who do I say I am?

Nobody.

You don't say anything.

Pretend you're mute,

and then stay like that.

You can be my mute servant.

- Put that back.

- Why? I like it.

Because this is not

the East End of London.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Mrs. Gaines, Dr. Dawkins.

Und Herr Dr. Guntstaffer from

Prussia brings you greetings, yes.

Two doctors?

The Lord provides.

Ah! What a lovely house you have.

So full of the precious objects, yes.

My only precious things

here are the words of Jesus.

Don't you agree, Doctor?

Yeah, Dr. Guntstaffer here,

was the greatest

physician of his generation

until he was tragically kicked

repeatedly in the head by an angry mule

and subsequently had half

his brain surgically removed.

Thus, I take great pity on

him as my former teacher.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Have you tried b*ating him?

Because I hear a b*ating can be

quite nourishing for the imbecile.

That is a very good

thought, Mrs. Gaines.

- Now, tell me, how can I help?

- Well

It's my thigh.

Again?

Yes, the pain seems

to be creeping upwards.

Right.

Yes, I thought it might.

[EXHALES SEDUCTIVELY]

This is perfect.

You distract the women,

I'll flog their jewels.

Fagin, can we just not talk for a bit?

Lotta scratch in there, Dodge.

That woman in there is

Captain Gaines' wife.

What, the cold fish from the hospital?

Yes, that's the one. His

hobby is hanging people.

Twice. Just to make sure.

Well, at least he's got interests.

No more voices, all right?

This isn't London, there's

nowhere to hide here.

How long do you reckon it'd

take before we got rumbled?

- Not long, I should think.

- Then why're you doin' it?

Because who's going to have

to explain their way out of it?

The convict servant or

the escaped convict master?

No more voices.

[FRENCH ACCENT] Bonjour, madame.

I am Docteur Le Goff from Paris.

Doctor.

It's been happening since Monday,

this constant tickle in my throat.

- We could own this town.

- Shut up.

And then I coughed up the

most disgusting sputum.

I can't go to the

ball tonight like this.

What would the Governor think?

- [COUGHS]

- Not much of anything, I suppose.

Tell me, Docteur. What

do you think of this?

You see, when it comes to sputum,

the French medics, they like

to smell, and then taste it.

He doesn't speak much

English, I'm afraid.

Forgive me, Doctor. So rude.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

He's from Provence.

Ah.

Madam, you are as they say,

very healthy for the ball.

The sputum, c'est magnifique.

Lovely rubies, very shiny.

Stop it, Fagin.

What? Just an observation.

- Do you like dancing?

- No.

- Croquet?

- Snore.

- Fox hunting?

- Very much, no.

Oh. Why?

It's mindless, barbaric, and cruel.

What about you? Chemistry?

Geology?

- Oh, yes. With the maps.

- No, the rocks, but close.

[CARRIAGE RIDER URGES HORSE]

Anatomy?

- Poetry?

- Yes! Yes!

Anyone other than

yourself and Wordsworth?

- Such as?

- CARRIAGE RIDER: Move aside!

So, really, just

Wordsworth and fox hunting?

That's about the size of it.

[CHARLIE GROANS]

Oh, my God.

Here, Dodger. Are you going

to this Governor's ball?

Oh, yes, I've got my invitation on

me. In fact, it's for both of us.

- Really?

- No.

I'm not gonna get invited

to the Governor's ball,

let alone someone who looks like

they walked out of a nightmare.

Doc, lad's gone under a carriage.

BELLE: Help! We need a doctor!

Okay. Um, you're okay.

You'll be all right. You're doing great.

- Help!

- Coming through, coming through! Here.

BELLE: Thank God.

- I've put a tourniquet on.

- It's not tight enough.

I need something to tighten it with.

- Um

- [CHARLIE WHIMPERS]

DODGER: It's all right. I'm

gonna sort you right out.

BELLE: Can you fix it?

I'll need to amputate. Excuse me,

sir, can I borrow that? Thank you.

What about Bircher's

procedure to save it?

- DODGER: Miss, please.

- M'lady.

To do that, I would need

to drill into his leg bones,

and insert pegs to knit

them back together again.

He would die of shock and pain.

- Not if you take the pain with ether.

- The Yankee Dodge?

- Yes.

- That is unproven.

Except for Morton in

Boston and Liston in London.

- Do you even read The Lancet?

- Not while I have strength, no.

Anyway, that chump of a

Governor has banned ether,

so Prof wouldn't let

it near the hospital.

- That's just idiotic. Look, I've got

- Look, m'lady,

one of us is a qualified surgeon

and the other one is

carrying a bloody parasol.

So, thank you, but would

you mind awfully sodding off.

[CHARLIE GROANS]

Fagin, need a carriage.

What, like this one?

[CHARLIE WHIMPERS]

Would you like a lift?

Uh, excuse me?

Hey, it's not too bad, Charlie boy.

I've seen much worse at sea. Plus,

you're gonna have a terrific scar.

- A stump.

- CHARLIE: What?

Instead of using ether,

you're going to butcher the boy

- and condemn him to beggary?

- No!

Thank you. Wonderful

bedside manner you've got.

- You've got a knack for it.

- Someone's got to stick up for him.

- If only you'd listen.

- You're not gonna take it?

I promise, I am going to save your life.

You listen to me, you upstart.

I'd give anything to trial that surgery.

Anything. Surgery without pain

would revolutionise medicine.

- But I won't.

- Please, I need me leg.

Because the biggest risk to any surgeon

is the addiction to feeling like God.

You are gambling against death

with only your wit for ante,

and that is bloody exhilarating.

But the risk is not yours.

There is a person beneath your hands.

And the moment the cutter forgets

that, and gives into his ego,

then the patient is lost.

A surgeon is lost.

Might I suggest you find your spine?

It's usually around the back.

The hospital is that way.

- We're not going to the hospital.

- What?

Why? He doesn't have much time.

What are we doing here,

you ridiculous woman?

This is the Governor's residence.

Oh, God. You're the Governor's daughter.

Yes. I am the "chump"

Governor's daughter.

I'm Lady "Chump" Belle.

And you must be the Dr. Jack

Dawkins everyone speaks so fondly of.

Oh, fantastic. This is

workin' out superbly.

I can't perform an operation

here. I need surgical equipment.

- Yeah, I've got it.

- Why?

Just wait. I'll get supplies.

Have we just been kidnapped by a lady?

I could get used to this.

GOVERNOR: We'll be

starting the tour soon.

Starting the tour soon, do gather up

Ladies and gentlemen, if

you'd like to join us, please.

In just a few minutes, we'll

start our tour of the paintings.

Oh, sherbet. Spilt my fizz.

Do join us.

[EXHALES]

- [CHARLIE GROANS]

- DODGER: It's not long now, Charlie.

It's good, this.

Good? What part of this is good?

I got a dying child in there,

and I've got no surgical

equipment to save him.

Yesterday, I was in chains, and

today, I'm at the Governor's ball.

There's a lot more to come,

now that we're back together.

We are not back together.

Come on, it's perfect. Cucumber

sandwich or ten, bit of surgery?

Snatch the rubies, happy days.

You remember how they glistened, Dodge?

Like sun through summer wine.

Makes you almost wanna taste 'em.

I'm not a crook anymore.

Do you know the last time I

stole something was 15 years ago?

The same day you left me in prison.

Well, what a horrifying

waste of potential.

You were the best I ever trained.

- I'm so sorry to disappoint you.

- Well, you do!

You do. You're not

being true to yourself.

This is who I am!

Look.

What do you plan to do

for work without your hand?

You've gotta think bold and

big. It's the only way out.

One last time.

Just to pay off this debt,

and then I'm clean for good.

Of course, you are, my dear.

Come on. Take him down to the basement.

All right.

Come on, Charlie boy. Time to go.

Fagin, come on. Grab his leg. Carefully.

Careful, Fagin.

There's no time. We're gonna

have to do it here. Set him down.

- What?

- It's not ideal

Fagin, clear that table.

It's all right, Charlie.

Okay, all right.

It's all right.

GOVERNOR: Moving to the

ballroom, up on the left,

the double tapestry

by the Dutch artist

You can save the leg with

ether. You know you can.

titled Across the Pond. It's

quite an extraordinary piece

BELLE: Ladies and gentlemen!

The entertainment.

For our main event, I have

a very special treat for you.

Dr. Dawkins will perform an

operation, never been done before.

Where an inferior cowardly surgeon

might just simply remove the leg,

Dr. Dawkins will make a

thousand years of history

by trialling surgery with no pain.

The Yankee Dodge!

[GUESTS APPLAUD TEPIDLY]

Dodge.

I might just go and

watch you from up there.

Yeah, go, Fagin. Do it. Get them.

Uh, Belle, something for the bone peg?

[CHARLIE GROANS]

You're okay.

Good.

Now, if I get hanged for this,

I'll haunt your every waking moment.

I'll be that face you see in

your nightmares and trust me,

you will only have nightmares.

Do shut up and ether the patient.

- DODGER: You're all right.

- BELLE: Watch closely, everyone.

As Dr. Dawkins anaesthetises the boy,

- takes his pain

- You're fine.

and then operates with no sensation.

DODGER: Now, just breathe.

There, we go. That's it. Good lad.

Right.

- [MAN GROANS]

- [WOMAN EXCLAIMS]

[DODGER BREATHING HEAVILY]

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

can we rouse him from living death?

Charlie?

Come on, Charlie.

Charlie.

Come on, Charlie.

Come on.

Charlie.

Charlie.

Come on, Charlie boy.

- Don't cut me, Doc! I need me leg!

- [ALL GASP]

- Wonderful!

- Marvelous.

- Thank God.

- The Yankee Dodge!

Well done!

[ALL APPLAUDING]

- MAN: Have you enjoyed the show?

- WOMAN: No, I was very into it.

That was It was wonderful, Dodge.

Thank you.

Yes. I rather thought

he was more competent

than you were suggesting, darling.

Oh, gosh.

My rubies. I've been robbed.

They've been stolen. My

rubies have been stolen.

- I've been robbed!

- Search everyone! No one leaves.

Hands.

- [PEOPLE CLAMOURING]

- [GASPS]

- You all right?

- Yeah.

Yes, it's just the ether fumes.

Take me upstairs?

[GROANS]

DODGER: I've got you. All right.

I'm sure you won't mind if I search you?

[BELLE GASPS]

Captain Gaines, move aside.

I'm not well. Move aside.

[BELLE PANTING]

Are you well?

Who's your doctor?

Prof.

- Has he ever examined you?

- He's too scared to get it wrong.

Take off your dress.

I need to listen to your

back. Take off your dress.

Here.

[PANTS]

There.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Now, just breathe steady.

Just breathe with me.

In.

- And out. Good.

- [EXHALES]

Again. In. Out.

Okay. Gonna come around the front.

Once again. In.

[SOFTLY] Good, and out.

In.

Out.

You're a common thief.

Shall I call Captain

Gaines now or later?

No. No, no. Wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait.

Darius cheated me at cards.

He's gonna take my hand if I

don't pay him a ludicrous debt.

Then pay him with your own money!

With what money? I get paid

in pennies and thimbles.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

You've got two options.

I yell "guards" and you get hanged.

Not ideal.

Or you make me the first female

surgeon and I keep your secret.

That or the noose.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Well?

I'm thinking.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]