01x01 - Real American Heroes

[bunniefuu]

Are Are you Are you

Are you ready? ♪

[electronic music playing]

[crowd cheering]

Hey, birthday girl! Happy 21st!

[all whooping]

Have fun tonight, ladies.

Just remember to make good

choices.

[Chad] Hey, bottle chick!

Be a sweetheart and grab

another round of these bad boys?

Get it yourself. I only serve VIP.

Ignore her. You guys are very important.

Oh! Beach ball!

[muffled electronic music continues]

- Hurry up. Hurry up!

- I am hurrying.

[beeping]

[Ava] There you go.

- [Maya] Ava, we might have a problem.

- What is it?

My sensors are picking up something.

Got a countdown and heat signature.

Coming from under the pool.

What? How much time?

- Eighty-three seconds and counting.

- That doesn't make sense.

I've got eyes on the target.

Blowing himself up is not his MO.

I don't know.

I wouldn't be so sure about that.

MOs change. This guy's a wild card.

Yeah, well so are you.

The hell were you doing

talking to me earlier?

Playing a Vegas douchebag,

like we talked about.

- The role you were born to play.

- [exclaims]

Sixty seconds.

Ready to engage.

Whoo-hoo!

Gomez, look alive.

[Angela] Copy that.

Target is in the crosshairs.

I can outfit his head with a new hole

on your command. Just say the word.

McKnight, you do not say the word.

Koslov is no martyr.

k*lling him does nothing

to stop the thr*at.

Under a minute means there's no time

to find and deactivate the nuke.

For all we know,

his phone is the detonator.

I have a clean sh*t.

I can take out his muscle.

No collateral damage.

Except flushing months of work

down the drain.

Do not take that sh*t.

- That's an order.

- I give my team orders.

And I give you orders.

How the f*ck do you not get that by now?

[music plays in slow-motion]

- Twenty seconds.

- [Chad] Come on, Winters.

We're supposed to stop the bad guy,

not sit here while he blows up Vegas.

He's not blowing up Vegas.

At least not until he's miles away.

- How can you be sure?

- It's my job to be sure.

- Ten seconds.

- Am I going hot or not?

Do not take that sh*t.

He's a businessman. Not a su1c1de bomber.

Five, four, three

- Wait!

- [firecrackers exploding]

[crowd cheering]

[Maya] The signal's tied to the DJ booth.

They must have rigged pyro for the show.

You don't say.

Told you.

Sorry, team.

Tech's a little oversensitive.

Don't sweat it, Tech Chick.

We all make mistakes.

God didn't when he made those abs.

This team can't afford to make mistakes.

Tighten up.

Yes, ma'am. Roger that. Sorry.

I'm going in.

You got out of the water. Warm and cozy.

There she is. The jewel of Las Vegas.

[in Russian]

My edges are too soft to be a jewel.

[chuckles] Your Russian is flawless.

Where are you from?

Kalamazoo, Michigan. [chuckles]

[in Russian] My aunt's from

the Zamoskvorechye district, in Moscow.

That explains how your beauty

stands out here.

If you wanna get away,

I'm leaving on my jet tonight.

[in English] Where'd we be going?

Well, that would take the mystery away.

Let's just say you'll be

better off with me than staying here.

Why do you say that?

Something tells me that tonight

the city's going to be dead.

Here, give me your number.

I'll call you when I'm ready to leave.

Don't tell. I could get fired.

Your secret is safe with me.

[in Russian] Hey, boss

Our guests have arrived

and are ready to eat.

They are waiting for you.

[in Russian] Let them wait,

it's only appetizers.

I'll be on time for the main course.

You guys are no fun.

[chuckles softly]

[in English] I must go.

I'll see you tonight.

Definitely.

Georgie!

This is it. Koslov's meeting the buyers.

Gomez, rendezvous out front.

Full tactical pursuit.

No. He feels our surveillance

we'll lose him.

Ivan may be wild, but he's not reckless.

- So, we sit here and do nothing?

- I didn't say we do nothing.

Get the vulture.

Hi!

[in English] Whole g*ng is here, huh?

Apologies for my delay.

Wanted to do the last dance with Las Vegas

before the party is over.

Huh? A thing of beauty, isn't it?

- Five kilotons of destructive power.

- [device clicking]

Enough to level the city,

and also compact enough

to fit in the trunk of your car.

Mobile, undetectable.

All you have to do

is set the timer and fly away.

And in a few hours, the city goes

poof.

In a mushroom cloud.

[device beeps]

It's the real deal.

[cell phone chimes]

- [man] The security's in your account.

- Wonderful. Let's celebrate!

And remember our arrangement.

Do not press the button until our plane

is 20,000 feet up in the air.

We'll wait till your flight attendant

has served drinks.

No, she prefers "stewardess."

Pleasure doing business with you.

[alarm blaring]

This is the United States m*llitary.

Everyone put your hands on your heads.

[in Russian] Bitch!

[indistinct chatter]

Guess we're doing it the hard way.

Vulture's going hot.

[man grunts]

Canister deployed.

It's all yours, McKnight.

Limit your fire.

Winters wants these f*ckers alive.

[in Russian] k*ll them all, bitch!

[yelling]

[grunts]

Change of plans! Take 'em all down!

Get down.

- Heads or tails?

- Heads.

Phew.

[man grunts]

[groans]

- Nice work.

- Yeah.

[grunts]

Oh, f*ck.

[grunts]

- [grunts]

- [screams]

m*therf*cker.

[g*n fires]

[g*ns f*ring]

Take him.

- I'm out. Toss me a mag.

- What? No thank you?

[Trunk over comms] East wing clear.

Check the back room.

- [g*ns f*ring]

- [groans]

[Chad] Winters.

[Ava] It's Koslov. He has the nuke.

f*ck.

[indistinct chatter in Russian]

Gomez. Little help?

- No sh*t. Hang tight a minute.

- We don't have a minute.

It's a figure of speech.

Three, two, one, bedtime.

[man groans]

[Angela] All clear.

You got that right.

[Ava] He's in one of these rooms.

[Chad] Clear!

[screams]

[Chad] What the f*ck?

[whimpers]

- Please don't k*ll me.

- We're the US Government.

- You're okay.

- Looks like someone had a party.

None of that's mine.

I've just been hooking up with this guy.

I don't know if he's a drug dealer.

I don't do that sh*t. Like, usually.

Relax. We're gonna get you someplace safe.

You just sit tight.

Wait. You're leaving me here?

[shushes]

[strained grunting]

[Chad] He must be in here.

We have him cornered.

- He could have an army in there.

- Bring 'em on.

Wait.

This is a vault room.

The door's made of reinforced steel.

You'll break your leg.

[beeping]

Lerner. We have a secure door.

Electronic lock. Can you open it remotely?

You bet. Hang on.

Just finding the right frequency.

- Find it faster.

- Yes, ma'am. That should do it.

- [door unlocks]

- You're the tits, Tech Chick.

I'm the tits.

Back away from the b*mb. It's over.

Mmm. My little Jewel of Las Vegas.

Well, this is where you are wrong.

[beeping rapidly]

I've activated the w*apon.

You didn't come this far

to go down with the ship.

No, I didn't.

But if there is no ship,

what's the point of treading water?

He's not bluffing.

Your b*mb tech as good as they say he is?

Best in the business.

He better be.

[grunts]

[Chad] Two more!

Get me Hagerty.

All right.

Let's see this bitch.

[beeping]

[chuckles]

[Hagerty] Looks like we got a little time.

- [beeping continues]

- [exhales]

[exhales deeply] This puppy's hot.

- Detectable C-4. PETN fuse.

- [liquid bubbling]

This thing's a beaut.

Anybody else getting a half chub?

[chuckles]

- What's he doing?

- He's looking for a perfect song.

All b*mb guys are weirdos,

but trust me, he's an artist.

Just let him do his thing.

Will you find a song already?

Just relax, sweetheart.

Okay, the whole key to this is just

to forget that there's a clock at all.

So? There's no clock.

There is no

["Feeling Good" by Michael Bublé playing]

Birds flying high ♪

[imperceptible]

You know how I feel ♪

Sun in the sky ♪

You know how I feel ♪

Breeze driftin' on by ♪

You know how I feel ♪

It's a new dawn ♪

It's a new day ♪

It's a new life ♪

- For me ♪

- For me ♪

- And I'm feeling good ♪

- And I'm feeling good ♪

- I'm feeling good ♪

- I'm feeling good ♪

- [electrical zapping]

- [powers down]

[both sighing]

Who has one thumb

and just saved Las Vegas?

This guy!

That m*therf*cker!

- Yeah!

- Yes!

Yes!

- f*ck yeah! Yeah!

- [yells excitedly]

[chanting] USA! USA! USA!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

[screaming excitedly]

[Hagerty] Yes, baby!

- Great work.

- [Maya] Thank you.

[Chad] Look at this m*therf*cker. g*dd*mn.

Oh, man. Koslov's in custody.

b*mb deactivated. Crisis averted.

This town should throw us

a g*dd*mn ticker-tape parade.

[women squealing]

That was quick.

Ladies, you wanna meet a real American

hero?

What the hell?

A DJ? You gotta be kidding me.

We just saved the world

and this candy ass gets all the love?

- [Trunk] Candy ass.

- That's the world we live in, yo.

Had we streamed our take down on TikTok,

we'd be trending.

No one's ever gonna know what we did.

Because until all this is declassified,

today never happened.

So, what now?

Mission's over.

We go back to the hotel, pack up.

I ship off to Langley, you to Fort Meade,

everyone else to their respective bases.

We disband and await word

of our next assignments.

No. Whoa! Wait, wait, wait.

f*ck that.

We spent months

hunting this son of a bitch.

We finally nabbed the nuke,

we f*ck up his whole program,

and we're supposed to just

quietly go our own separate ways?

We're in Las Vegas,

the party capital of the world.

And if the world knew

what we did here today,

they'd want us to party

like the rock stars we are.

f*ck! They'd demand it.

- f*ckin' A, they would.

- f*ck yeah.

2200 hours.

Details TBD, but hear me when I say this.

I am going to empty every cent

that's left in our operational w*r chest.

Because tonight

we're gonna show this town

how to celebrate real American heroes.

- f*ck yeah! Yeah!

- Hell yeah!

- Let's do it!

- [Angela] Yeah!

Everyone's invited.

- Ready to get f*cked up?

- Ready to get f*cked

up.

What do you say, Winters?

Send your regrets now or ghost us later?

I'll get back to you.

Copy. We won't hold our breath.

[all cheering]

[shower running]

[man] Ava Winters.

- Will you be my wife?

- [Ava] I can't believe this is happening.

[cell phone ringing]

Good evening, sir.

Good is an understatement.

I'd call it a pretty damn

fantastic evening.

When you work in our field,

the stakes are always high, but today

that was historic.

Would have preferred things neater.

The buyer wasn't on our radar.

He's this Swedish blockchain entrepreneur,

who thought he could skyrocket his crypto

by destroying a massive amount

of American currency.

Guy sees one Bond film

and thinks he can be the next Max Zorin.

I'll be on a flight in the morning.

I want to discuss something.

- Winters, no.

- You haven't even heard the brief, sir.

This mission went longer

than you or I could have predicted.

You never had a chance to grieve.

- I'm fine, sir.

- You're taking some time.

The world will still have plenty of trash

to take out when you return.

He would've been proud of you.

I know.

Did you get the President's gift?

Yes. Thank you. It's very generous, sir.

Pop it open.

You're officially on vacation. Enjoy it.

Tonight, I'm gon' be rocking it

Dropping it ♪

Shake my ass, no stopping it ♪

[indistinct chattering and cheering]

I look hot in it ♪

Rocking it, dropping it ♪

Shake my ass, no stopping it ♪

I look hot in it, hot in it

I look hot in it ♪

[Chad] Yes, Trunky!

You got my end of mission gift! Fits good!

Like a glove! Thanks, chief.

Almost forgot. I got something

for you, too. I hope it fits.

Gracias, this is

What is this?

Mmm. You cr*ck it like a chem light.

Glows in the dark, can't miss any action.

- b*at you to death with it.

- Watch the face.

That is not what it's used for.

I seen some films showing its proper use.

I'll send you the link.

But now for your real gifts.

f*cking dr*gs. Purest MDMA in the city.

Knight, I already got gummies in me.

Shouldn't add Molly to the mix.

Molly's a good girl.

She doesn't wanna f*ck with gummies.

She just makes 'em dance

like no one's watching.

f*ck it, I'm in.

- [Angela] You are.

- Yes.

- [waiter] Here ya go.

- Here we go.

- Gracias. Great.

- Uno mas.

To bad guys and bad b*tches.

Beware when the three of us

are on the prowl, you're going down.

Yo, someone's going down. That's for sure.

- Boom.

- [glass clinks]

- [exhales]

- [chortles] Ooh! Yeah.

[woman whooping]

Yo, Mac, there's something

I've been meaning to talk to you about.

Kind of personal.

Alpha Sierra Sierra, twelve o'clock,

pillow princess in the crosshairs.

Oh! Bachelorette party. Nice.

[Angela] Tiara's mine.

[Trunk] The bride?

Groom won't appreciate that too much.

[Angela] It's like in the field.

Target's in your sights,

forget their personal lives,

or lose your nerve.

g*dd*mn you're cold-blooded.

She's all yours.

All right, so there's two,

four, six, seven.

- Yeah. Trunk and I'll divvy up the rest.

- Agreed. Engage targets, y'all.

Let's do it. Hey, you in?

We'll talk about that thing later?

Yeah. Let's have some fun. Let's do it.

[Paul] Honey, death lurks around

every street corner.

No, I'm not being overdramatic.

Prom night is the most dangerous night

for teenage drinking and driving.

Make sure Jen has a limo,

a driver without a record,

and to be home before midnight.

Honey. That's not fair.

You know I wanted to be there.

This mission was important.

What? No, of course, I'm not saying

our daughter's not important. What the

Hey, Paul's wife, Chad McKnight here.

I just want to say your husband

was a real hero today.

He did some crazy sh*t.

Why don't we cut the guy some slack,

let him have some fun, huh?

Maybe a couple of lap dances.

Handy at most.

Hello?

She hung up. f*ck, dude.

- Thanks a lot.

- She'll forgive you.

- Stop stressing, have a drink.

- I don't drink.

- Maybe that's your problem.

- Right.

Gotta loosen the f*ck up.

Great! Now I'm drenched.

Me too.

[people cheering]

Sorry.

[door lock buzzes]

Heard you liked to live large, Koslov.

- I made sure to give you our best suite.

- Charming.

Do you happen to know the time?

Time no longer exists for you.

You'll never see the light of day again.

I wouldn't be so sure about that.

[chuckles]

[dance music playing]

[all cheering]

I must be starting to trip balls

because I see Winters.

[Trunk] Nope, I see her too.

Well, well, well.

Looks like the lone wolf's

come to join the pack. Bud Heavy?

How the hell did you pull this together

on a few hours' notice?

My inexhaustible resourcefulness.

That and Uncle Sam's dime

buys you a lot of Vegas goodwill.

- [animal grunts]

- Have you met Joey?

- Oh, my God.

- I rented him from the Tiger King.

Not the one in jail.

I'm not an assh*le. The new one.

He said not to spook him though,

these things run like the wind. Don't ya?

- You're a f*cking idiot.

- [Chad] My teachers used to say that.

- Is Hagerty doing cocaine?

- f*ck, no. It's Adderall and ketamine.

With a horse tranq garnish

and a whipp-ed chaser.

Don't you guys get tested?

You know how easy it is to get clean piss?

This is America.

In that case,

keep clean pissing your career away.

Come on, Winters.

You didn't come here to be the fun police.

Hey, take a cue from Tech Chick.

Tech Chick came here to party, right?

Yeah. Party time.

Her name isn't Tech Chick.

Her name is Maya Lerner.

She's been on our team for six months.

Oh, I'm fine with Tech Chick.

Or anything you want to call me.

See? Tech Chick gets it! Love you!

f*ck him. G.I. Jerk-Off wouldn't know

his ass from a hole in the ground

on this mission if it weren't for us.

- Lerner, I need your help with something.

- Yes, ma'am.

I brought my laptop.

"Don't leave home without it."

Forget work.

I need you to help me polish this off.

You want to drink? With me?

- Come on. It's our turn to party.

- Okay.

- [dance music continues]

- [all cheering]

f*ck it!

You want to melt

those pretty minds of yours?

Psilocybe azurescens,

otherwise known

as flying saucer mushrooms.

Infused with m*llitary-grade

lysergic acid diethylamide.

Yeah, you won't be needing this tonight.

What the hell. It's a party, right?

A little pineapple, mixed with guacamole.

- Wow!

- [whooping triumphantly]

- Are you feeling it?

- Oh, I'm feeling it. You feeling it?

Oh, I'm definitely feeling it.

[howls]

[mechanical whirring]

Measuring U-235 isotope.

That's odd.

This can't be right. We need to take this

to the top. Where's Hagerty?

[music playing]

That is dope.

[cell phone vibrating]

Whoa! [laughs]

Yunga! What's going on, kid?

Ladies, I want you to meet my bestie

in the whole wide world.

This is Captain Paul Yung, USAF,

which stands for "U Silly As f*ck."

Get off your phone

and come join the party.

Hey. There's going to be

some water sports here.

You want to get in on this?

You know I'm married.

And that's why I'm asking you, Paul.

You need this so g*dd*mn bad.

But suit yourself. Okay?

Now go try that guacamole over there.

It's the g*dd*mn b*mb.

[kisses]

[laughs boisterously]

You're a f*cking genius.

You're the youngest recruit

the NSA's ever had.

Yeah. And I spend most of my time

in a dark van decrypting code.

And then I go out in the real world

and I'm clueless.

- We're all f*cking clueless.

- [giggles]

But then, I look at you

and I see the ultimate badass.

- Stop!

- You're smart. You're sexy.

You don't sh*t from anyone.

You're a f*cking boss.

How did you find that confidence?

At some point, I guess I realized

if you want things to be a certain way,

you can't depend on fate or luck.

Just gotta step up.

Make it happen yourself.

[Chad] Let's do this.

[cheering and whooping]

- Grease him up!

- Ah! All biceps, no brains.

I've got enough brains.

Oh! Part the sea!

Come on, we're fun.

- [Chad] Back it up!

- [growls]

Oh! That is good.

- [Chad] Ready, big boy?

- Yeah!

Get a couple drinks in him,

sooner or later, someone greases up Trunk.

No one's taken him down

inside of a minute.

[both grunts]

[grunts]

McKnight might be

the cockiest son of a bitch I've ever met,

that's why the ladies love him.

[crowd exclaims]

- What kinda ladies is McKnight into?

- He'll f*ck anything with a pulse.

If we're talking end game,

Ali Larter from Varsity Blues.

That's his dream girl.

[Chad] All right, bring it up.

[cheering]

USA!

[crowd chanting] USA! USA! USA!

Hey. You do realize

you're both USA, right?

Winters, that was a feat

of Vin Diesel-ian proportions.

Okay? Do not act like you're unimpressed.

You embarrassed yourself for

a full minute, then got lucky.

[crowd booing]

[laughs]

- You can do it faster?

- That's not what I said.

But obviously, I can.

[all cheering]

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh!

- He's all yours.

- Oh, thank you.

- [man] Let's see it.

- Hey.

- Can I borrow this?

- Of course.

- You're so pretty.

- Stop.

You sure you want to do this?

It'll get that nice dress all dirty.

Let me worry about the dry cleaning bill.

You focus on staying upright.

[all exclaiming]

Talk that sh*t, boss.

Yo, watch yourself, Trunk.

That's intelligence coming at you now.

What?

[grunts]

Holy sh*t, that's gotta be a new record!

[all cheering]

USA?

[crowd chanting] USA! USA! USA!

I'm good, yeah, I'm feelin' all right ♪

Baby, I'ma have

The best f*ckin' night of my life ♪

And wherever it takes me

I'm down for the ride ♪

Baby, don't you know I'm good?

Yeah, I'm feelin' all right ♪

[on answering machine] Hey, it's Jen.

Don't leave a message.

- [beeps]

- Jen, I hope you get this message.

My calls are going to voicemail

after only a couple rings.

I just want to say,

I want you to have fun at prom.

Don't let your friends pressure you

into doing anything I wouldn't do.

Okay, sweetheart? [grunts]

Ali Larter, Varsity Blues.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh!

[women moaning, giggling]

[sighs, exhales]

[man groaning in pleasure]

Oh, sh*t.

Need some help

getting that grease off, big boy?

Back off. He's mine.

- Oh, what the

- Oh, sh*t!

- Oh, f*ck!

- Oh, f*ck!

- sh*t. I'm sorry.

- Get the f*ck out!

- I didn't see anything.

- Get the f*ck out!

sh*t.

You wanted to talk about this?

- Get the f*ck out!

- Fine! I'm out. I'm out! I'm out!

Holy sh*t.

[cell phone ringing]

Hey. Thank God.

No, it's perfect timing. Believe me.

Let me just find some place quiet.

This doesn't add up.

We know that Koslov

had enough uranium to blow the city.

Now the lab is saying the b*mb we seized

only has hints of it?

- Where's the rest?

- Sir!

We just got a message.

It's not good.

Gather the joint chiefs.

Situation room, five minutes.

Get in touch with Winters.

We need her now more than ever.

[Ava] f*ck waking up tomorrow!

Like they say en français

- [all cheering]

- [in English] Let's get f*cked up tonight!

It's all good. S'all good. S'all good.

Because you know what?

I'm gonna call room service

and have 'em bring us up some more.

Don't go anywhere.

We gotta exchange numbers. Be right back.

[all whooping]

Great to hear your voice, too.

I miss you too.

[muffled music playing]

I'm sorry I left you alone again.

I know that's never easy.

[chuckling] I love you too.

I can't wait to see you, Mom.

Oh, sh*t.

You should have seen it.

We k*lled more Russians

than the Wolverines did in Red Dawn.

Obviously, the original.

I told you about Gomez's top-secret r*fle,

that can blow a guy's head off from five

[clears throat]

You know what, Mom?

Let's catch up tomorrow. Me too. Bye.

[call disconnects]

Don't worry. She won't say anything.

Relax. I'm not gonna rat.

Never figured you for a mama's boy.

When your dad takes off when you're six,

it's kind of what happens.

- Not a bad view.

- For 60K a night? f*cking better be.

- You realize it's taxpayer money.

- Schematics.

Come on.

If not for us, all of this would be gone.

Even you have to admit it,

we deserve a little fun.

- Fun?

- Yeah.

Right.

All I can think about are these people

having fun without a care in the world.

- If they knew what we knew.

- They'd be sh1tting themselves.

[both laugh]

That's why they can never know.

It's f*cked up when you think about it.

Gotta be a little f*cked up

to do this, right?

Yeah. That's what we signed up for.

Somebody's got to answer the call.

Never letting our guard down.

Always on duty.

Not tonight.

No.

Not tonight.

This ain't a misdemeanor

Bitch, this is a felony, uh ♪

I read between the lines

Not buying what you're selling me ♪

- Are we

- Shut up.

- f*ck.

- I'll do it.

Headed straight to my floor seats ♪

I'm the gift that keeps on giving

You don't know what it cost me ♪

[both breathing heavily]

Oh, sh*t. Looks like you're going commando

in more ways than one.

- I like to let it breathe.

- Oh, f*ck.

[both moaning]

[objects clattering]

Here.

[both moaning]

[both grunting softly]

Oh, sh*t. These are regular size.

I'm used to Magnum XL's.

I'm drunk. Not blind. Put it on.

[Ava moans in pleasure]

- [grunts]

- Okay.

Let's not forget who's in command.

[grunts softly]

[both grunting]

- You know I don't take orders well.

- Maybe I should be more forceful.

[both grunting]

[grunting and moaning]

[breathing heavily]

This is amazing.

You're so f*cking amazing. I love you.

I loved you since the first moment

I saw you.

[awkwardly] Okay

- What's wrong?

- Nothing. Just keep going.

- Do you not feel

- Just keep going.

[both grunting]

- I can't.

- Me neither.

- Look, sorry if I

- Don't be sorry.

I thought that since the mission was over,

we'd never see each other again.

Now we definitely won't.

[door lock clicks]

Hey, cowboy. I think I've got a cure

for your Varsity Blues.

- What the f*ck?

- Lerner!

- Tech Chick.

- What are you doing?

The two of you? What the hell?

- Just take it easy.

- Take it easy?

You've been saying he's nothing

but a meat bag with small d*ck energy.

You said what?

Oh, my God. I'm such an idiot.

- [Ava] Oh!

- Jesus Christ.

Oh, f*ck. This was a big mistake.

You can say that again.

Says the guy who dropped the L word.

I meant I love that ass.

I'm an ass man. Everyone knows that.

And it's the ecstasy talking.

I said "I love you"

to so many people tonight.

I said it to the f*cking camel.

- I'm out of here.

- Lerner, wait.

You know, I actually looked up to you,

but you're full of sh*t.

That's why you work undercover,

because you're so good at lying.

Bitch.

- [door closes]

- Wow.

Look at Tech Chick

letting it all hang out. A for effort.

- [cell phone chimes]

- Oh, where's my phone?

[exhaling] What is this?

[beeps]

[distorted male voice]

To those who have Ivan Koslov,

as you have probably now realized,

the b*mb you deactivated was a fake.

We still have

the five kiloton nuclear device,

and we will detonate it

unless you release Mr. Koslov.

Any attempt to evacuate the city

will result in immediate detonation.

You have until 9:00 a.m.

If you do not comply,

the city will be obliterated.

[cell phone chimes]

- What's that? Some other booty call?

- f*ck!

[dance music playing]

Hey, hey. You seen McKnight?

He's in the master bedroom

with his d*ck hanging out. He's all yours.

What did he tell you?

The b*mb was fake? We got the nuke, right?

I don't know.

If it's a hoax,

Langdon wouldn't passed it on.

- sh*t. This is bad.

- Yeah.

You had to go and throw

this f*cking party.

We thought the mission was over.

[Ava grunts]

- God.

- Jesus.

- Someone can't handle their liquor.

- Go f*ck yourself.

We have a call with Langdon

in five minutes.

We need to clear this place out.

[people cheering]

It's a g*dd*mn shame

we got to break this up.

[both moaning]

- Excuse me.

- Hey, where you going, baby girl?

Excuse me, everyone. There's been

an emergency, so we all have to

Party to the break of dawn!

[all cheering loudly]

No.

[music stops]

Party's over! Get the f*ck out!

- You got to go.

- [Chad] All right, let's go.

[Ava] Go! You gotta go.

Yeah, right now. Go.

Hey, you gotta go!

- [woman] Sarah, what are you doing?

- What?

You're getting married.

Billy's gonna be pissed. Let's go!

But I wanna stay!

I'm good. Thank you. Get out of here.

Let's go. Keep moving. Keep moving.

I'm just as sad as you.

- All right. Thank you.

- Got you.

You had so much fun.

What the f*ck, Winters? p*ssy block much?

SOCOM received a b*mb thr*at.

If we don't release Ivan Koslov,

Las Vegas will be destroyed

by a five kilo-b*mb device.

- Kilo-b*mb? That sounds bad.

- That's not what I meant.

"Kilo" means 1,000.

So they're saying 5,000 bombs?

- I call bullshit.

- Koslov's people have a nuke.

- This is why I don't drink.

- Oh! Good for you, Paul.

We should all be so f*cking boring. f*ck.

[cell phone beeps]

sh*t. Langdon wants to Zoom.

f*ck. Look at this place.

- The bedroom.

- Come on.

Smells like somebody

got their f*ck on in here.

- Nobody got their f*ck on in here.

- Somebody fornicated in here.

She couldn't have been that good.

Dude didn't finish.

Probably some limp-d*ck

with erectile dysfunction.

[cell phone ringing]

Oh, sh*t.

Much better.

Paul.

[blows air, clears throat]

Good. You're all there.

We've been analyzing the message.

It was sent from within Clark County.

No doubt from a Koslov associate.

What's the thr*at crebidility?

Credibility.

The lab report on the b*mb you retrieved

showed only traces of isotopic uranium.

Just enough to be detected,

but not enough for an expl*si*n.

Highly sophisticated copy.

That means someone working for Koslov

still has the mother lode.

The lab has been trying to get in touch

with your EOD. Is he there with you?

- Hagerty's here.

- Good.

We're gonna need his magic

if this turns out to be as bad as we

Wait. What is that?

[camel grunts]

Sorry, someone moved a camel. Statue.

Look, Winters, I know tonight

was supposed to be a celebration.

But as we all know, in our line of work,

we're always on call.

I assume your team celebrated responsibly,

and nobody took things too far.

No, sir, we all celerated

Celebrated responsibly.

I just want to know,

is your team ready to get back into this?

- [softly] f*ck. No.

- [Angela] Mmm.

Sir

Ready as a dog in heat, sir.

That's what I like to hear.

Ball's in your court.

You have a little over seven hours.

Find that nuke.

[chimes]

"Ready as a dog in heat?"

Our blood alcohol's through the roof.

You shitheads took dr*gs.

We gotta stand down.

We do that, who they gonna

replace us with? The f*cking FBI?

f*cking FBI sucks.

If they could handle this sh*t,

they'd be handling it.

- I hate to admit. She has a point.

- [Chad] Even Paul agrees.

Now I don't care

how f*cked up we are, Winters.

We're still the best in the game.

Now, let's f*cking finish this.

- Okay. We're back on.

- [Angela] Let's do this sh*t.

What do we know?

Koslov sold a fake b*mb. But why?

Because he's a lying commie

son of a bitch.

For the last time,

Koslov is not a communist.

He only cares about money, he Wait.

[in Russian] Our guests have arrived

and are ready to eat.

They are waiting for you.

I love you.

[in Russian]

Let them wait, it's only appetizers.

I'll be on time for the main course.

The fake was the appetizer.

Real nuke, the main course.

- What do you mean?

- Think about it.

Koslov could trick the crypto guys

into buying a fake

but only if he had a higher offer.

A second buyer?

It's like selling a bag of oregano

to a teenager

while saving the real deal

for someone more savvy.

- Oh!

- Saw an opportunity to get paid twice.

Okay, where's Lerner?

She needs to pull up the operation files.

- She took off about 20 minutes ago.

- Took off where?

[slurping]

I'm having a ball ♪

I'm running the show ♪

How I got stuck ♪

Where's my special cheeseburger?

I already told you.

We don't serve food here.

Then what the f*ck you call this?

I want my special cheeseburger!

Medium rare, plus extra mayo.

I'm not supposed to say this,

but you've had a little too much to drink.

You've had a little too much to drink.

Just give her the g*dd*mn burger. Okay?

Customer's always right.

- Thanks.

- Yeah.

At least one person

in this whole city has my back.

Anytime, girl.

Let me guess, boy trouble?

My boss f*cked my crush.

Damn.

I even put on the whipped cream

and everything.

You think that's bad?

My man was supposed to take me to go see

J.Lo at Resorts World. Ghosted me.

The real question is

what are we going to do about it?

What do you mean?

[scoffs] I mean we are two,

hot single women in Vegas.

One of us smells like

a g*dd*mn ice cream sundae. [chuckles]

People ought to be lined up.

It's time we do things our way.

Hey, you want to take a ride with me?

- Huh?

- [cell phone ringing]

f*ck yeah. Ride or die.

[laughs heartily]

Let's do it! You got little titties too.

You can shake 'em.

- You've reached Maya Lerner

- Damn it.

Someone give me a laptop.

I'll access the files myself.

Yo, mira

- Your lab partner left her sh*t.

- [Ava] Ah!

- About what happened earlier

- Nothing happened.

[Ava] Once I access this database,

we'll be able to look at everything

and I'll be able to pare down Koslov

[retches]

- Oh sh*t!

- Oh! f*cking gross, Winters.

- The f*ck did you eat?

- I don't think I ate.

There's chunks of food in there.

Is that quesadilla?

There was quesadillas?

No one told me there was quesadillas.

There were no quesadillas.

Uh Anybody have a mint?

I could go for some quesadillas.

Oh, sh*t, that may have been dr*gs.

f*ck the computer.

You want to get that b*mb back?

Drag Koslov out of his cell

and b*at it out of him.

Koslov is old-school. His father was KGB.

He's not gonna give it up easy.

He was prepared for this,

knew what would happen if we captured him,

he knows what happens next.

So we're all going to need to sober up

real f*cking quick.

[beeping]

If the nuke is still out there,

and one of Koslov's men has it,

we're back to square one.

[man in Russian] The w*apon is ready.

The countdown has begun.

Have you made contact?

I have the NSA op.

What's taking so long?

Get in here, girl! [giggles]

She doesn't suspect a thing.

[in Russian] Excellent.

Ooh! I hope there's champs in there,

because we getting f*cked

- Up!

- Up!

[both laughing]

I already knew. Whoo!

All right, we all need to clear our minds,

forget anything that happened tonight,

and get back on our A-game. ASAP.

Everyone.

- [Hagerty] Ladies and gentlemen.

- Oh, God.

- sh*t!

- f*ck, Hagerty.

Nope.

- Hagerty has left the building.

- Uh, no.

- [all exclaim]

- [Trunk] sh*t!

- Hagerty?

- Oh, my God.

- Let's go! We got commies to interrogate!

- Let's go! Come on.

- [Chad] Oh, sh*t!

- [Trunk] f*ck.

[Chad] Go!

Everyone strap in!

- Are you sure you're okay to fly?

- Yep, I've got nothing in my system.

Other than an entire bowl

of chips and guac.

Thank God one of us is sober.

["Your Touch" by The Black Keys playing]

♪ Hey, and I want ♪

♪ And you got ♪

♪ So much ♪

♪ Crazy for ♪

♪ Your touch ♪

♪ Your touch ♪

♪ Your touch ♪

♪ Your touch ♪

♪ And I'll be good ♪

♪ Like I should ♪

♪ Waiting and such ♪

♪ Misery I need ♪

♪ Your touch ♪

♪ Your touch ♪

♪ Your touch ♪

♪ Your touch ♪

[song ends]