11x02 - The Price You Pay

[bunniefuu]

[lively music]

[Kris] Have you ever used a condom?

Do you think I'm the biggest whore
you have in your family?

[Kris] No but you're the only one
I can talk to about this stuff.

Like, who puts it on?

[Khloé] The guy should have enough manners
to put his own condom on his own [bleep].

[Kris] What's a reservoir tip?

What does that even mean?

[Kris laughs]

-[Khloé] There you go.
-Oh, my God.

-Khloé, you got condom juice…
-I [bleep] on your shirt.

[Kris] …all over my shirt.

Does this stuff stain?

I mean, it's lubrication.

How am I gonna explain this?

[theme music]

[lively music]

Hi, guys.

What is that drink?

-Because you had it last time.
-Avocado and milk…

-[Bruno] All right, guys.
-…and, like,

two little teaspoons of sugar.

How many calories?

I don't know. I have it every morning.
It's like pudding.

[Bruno] It looks healthy. You had it
last time. It looks like pudding.

-Yeah. Khloé said it was gross.
-[Bruno] It looks like pea…

-It looks like, it looks like, um…
-[woman] It looks great.

-Pea soup.
-[all laugh]

[Bruno] So, this morning,
Tara will give you a little bit of a recap

on the PR, just over the last month

and what's coming up.

[Tara] So July is obviously
a really big month

for Kardashian Kids, in particular.

We're launching in Australia,

Big W and Khloé's coming out to Australia.

[Khloé] Second year in a row, kids.

[Bruno] It's your turn. That's it.

-It's your turn. That's it.
-[Kourtney] I'll go but I said

I just have a lot of baggage
I have to bring.

-[all laugh]
-I have a breast-feeding baby.

No kids and I still cover
the kids' department.

I'm gonna be going to Australia by myself

to launch Kardashian Kids.

[Khloé] It's gonna be intense.

There's gonna be three straight


press junkets, meet and greets.

[Tara] It's gonna be really interactive.

We're gonna have
a little photo booth set up

with, like, little props
that they can use.

[Khloé] So cute.

[Khloé] And I am picking up
the slack for my sisters.

They've so much going on
in their personal lives

and apparently, I don't,

so two straight years, me in Australia.

So this is the catering menu.
There's a couple options,

so if you guys wanna
let us know your thoughts?

[Kim] Khlo, do you want the avocado
or the cheeseburgers?

-[Khloé] Are you going to this?
-[Kim] No.

-So why are you picking the food?
-[all laugh]

[lively music]

[Kris] What is that juice, Kylie?

Erewhon. And they're really good for you.

[Kim] I think this is giving me life,
because I was, like, about to faint.

[Kris] Had I known you guys
were into the juice,

we could've joined a cooking class.

[Kylie] What does that have to do
with anything?

[Kim] So I just went over
my house stuff and…

Guess who has to move out?

Oh, my God.

Kanye and I are in the final stages
of our construction on our home…

[saw whirring]

…and they've advised us
that we should move out

so that they can do our bedroom
and our bathrooms now.

[Kim] Do you want a roommate?

[Kris] I would have to make a run for it.

[singsong]
Sayonara.

[Kim] Maybe we could move
into Kylie's new place

for, like, a little bit?

[Kylie] I would seriously s*ab myself.

[Kim] Come on, Kylie.
I would do it for you.

I'm gonna ask Kanye
if he's into that idea.

[Kylie] Nobody is staying at my house.

[inquisitive music]

[Kim] I don't know why
they're being so rude and dramatic.

Like, I'm pregnant,
they should want to, like,

cater to a pregnant woman.
[laughs]

[Kris] Maybe I'll go to Europe
for a month.

Pretend like I'm Parisian.

[laughs]

[cackling]

[cackling continues]

[Kim] Have you ever, in your life,
met a more annoying person?

Can you imagine
what your life would be like

with six torturous kids?

[lively music]

[bowling pins clattering]

-[Khloé] It's Mase.
-[Mason] Can I go first?

I want to put you second
'cause I was here first.

-So I already put my name first.
-[Mason] Okay.

[Khloé] How do you erase something?

[suspenseful music]

[Khloé] I hate this thing.

Wait, but why are we all on the same team?

Why are you asking me so many questions?

[Kourtney] We have to wait
till she enters in our names.

[Khloé] Almost, there we go.

There we go.

-[Khloé] We did it, Mase. Yeah.
-[Mason] Oh, yeah.

[Kourtney] Who is supposed to be "Kok"?

"Cock"?

"Kokes." But we…

[Khloé and Kourtney laugh]

It just says K-O-K.

[Khloé groans]
No bueno.

Good luck, Mase.

Yeah.

-[clatters]
-Yo.

[Khloé claps]
Yeah!

-Good job.
-Good job.

When is Scott coming back?
Is he gonna be back before Saturday?

[Kourtney] Um, yes.

[Kim] He's in Europe?

[Kourtney] Mm-hmm.

[Kim] Even though Scott and Kourtney
are broken up,

I'm really worried he's gonna do

whatever he can to get back with Kourtney.

-[Kim] What's going on with him?
-[Kourtney] Hmm… Nothing.

[Kim] You know, I really think
that Kourtney's had it,

so I don't think that she would…

necessarily get back with him,

but there's always that possibility
and that just worries me,

'cause he can't just go,

do what he wants to do and then come back
when he wants to come back.

I hope that she just holds her ground
'cause it's not gonna help anyone.

[Khloé] Down the middle, Mase.

[Kim] I think my stomach popped yesterday.

-Are your jeans buttoned?
-Yeah.

-Are you wearing maternity jeans now?
-No.

-I think it's time to start.
-[clattering]

-[Kourtney] Mase.
-[Khloé] Oh, my gosh, you did it.

[whooping]

[Mason cheering]

[upbeat music]

[line ringing]

-[Kourtney] Who are you FaceTiming?
-[ringing continues]

-[Khloé] Bruiser.
-[Caitlyn] Hi, there.

There you are.

Why won't you respond to my text messages?
Are you mad at me?

Huh?

-[Khloé] Why won't you respond to my text…
-[Caitlyn] Now, hold on a second.

I thought I didn't see something.
I'm gonna look and I will respond.

I get so insecure
when you don't respond to me.

I think, like, you're mad
and I didn't even do anything.

I sincerely apologize.

-[Khloé] Mm-hmm. Okay.
-[Candis] Hi, gorgeous.

-Hi.
-You look super cute.

Ooh, so do you.
Look at the cutest one of them all.

Is that Kourtney?

-Yep.
-Oh, I can do that, too.

[Kourtney chuckles]

-[Kourtney] I know.
-[all laugh]

[Caitlyn] All right,
I will check for your text.

[Khloé] Okay.

-[Caitlyn] Goodbye. I love you.
-[Khloé] Bye, love you.

-Bye, Kourt. Bye.
-[Kourtney] Bye.

Love you, bye.

-[Caitlyn and Candis] Bye.
-Aw, I love everyone.

[phone chimes]

[Khloé] So I'm going to Australia
on Monday.

-[Kourtney] Monday?
-[Khloé] Mm-hmm.

And I was thinking…

We don't want to, like,

throw off our whole workout routine,
right?

Yeah.

I was thinking you should come
to Australia with me

and be my workout buddy.

-Um…
-[Khloé] You don't want to go?

I don't know.
I was thinking about it for a second

and then…

I just feel like I need to stay home.

I know that Khloé really wants me
to go to Australia with her,

but I really don't want to go
without my kids.

They need me now more than ever
and to leave for a week

would just be irresponsible.

[Khloé] This whole event is to launch,

like, Kardashian Kids in Australia,

so I think having three little munchkins

probably is a great, like, walking…

[chuckles]
…bonus.

[clicks tongue]
Um…

I just don't want people
to ask me annoying questions.

[light music]

Do you know Caitlyn told me
that how you get a penis,

they make it your clit?

Why are you having
these conversations with her?

-[Khloé] What do you mean?
-It's so weird.

So they get rid of the penis
and leave just a little bit of it?

[line ringing]

-[Caitlyn] There you are.
-You have to hold this.

Hey, gorg.

-[Candis] Hi, gorgeous.
-[Caitlyn] What's up?

I wanted to remember,
how do make a [bleep] on a girl?

-[Candis] Oh, my God.
-[Caitlyn laughs]

[Khloé] I was trying to tell Malika.

You told me, on a girl, to transition,
is they use the clit, right?

-[Candis] Yes.
-But you still keep,

like, the hole, I guess?

[Caitlyn laughs]

[Candis] I think they close it.

[Khloé] You told me they kept it.

Why would you have
the best of both worlds?

-That's unfair.
-[Caitlyn and Candis laugh]

[Caitlyn] You're not thinking
of getting one, are you?

I have a pretty big set of balls already,
so, you know.

[Caitlyn and Candis laugh]

[Caitlyn] Okay. Love you.

-Oh, that's too much for you? Really?
-[Caitlyn] It's about all I can handle.

-Okay, bye.
-[Khloé] Bye.

I can't.

[GPS] Hazardous driving conditions
on the U.S. 101 southbound.

-Okay, bitch.
-[Malika] All right.

Shut up. No. Are you excited
to go to Australia?

I am. I actually like the flight though.

-Yeah, you get to sleep the whole time.
-I know.

[Khloé] Everyone keeps asking, like,
why doesn't Kourt go? All this stuff.

You know, she's just overwhelmed
and blah, blah, blah

with everything and I totally get it.

[Malika] Kim and Kourtney have both

been very busy on the baby-making front.

And unfortunately, that has
really changed the circumstances

for who travels to work and who doesn't.

And I think Khloé's a real trooper
when it comes to holding it down

for her sisters on the work front.

We're gonna be there for a week.

[Malika] It's crazy
because it doesn't seem like

it's gonna be a week

but it because it's really,
like, one day travel there

and then one day travel back, right?

I don't know.

[GPS] Head south on Sepulveda Boulevard.

Listen, bitch, on my old car,
no one ever spoke to me.

Stop talking to me,
or we're getting a new car.

You're short.

You're, like, just an inconvenience,

-you dumb [bleep] whore.
-[laughs]

[lively music]

[Kourtney] This looks so crazy.

It makes it, like, a flakey
croissant pancake thing.

-Do you really want the avocado thing?
-[Kim] Yeah.

-[blender rattling]
-Ooh.

This is so good.

You drink it or you eat it with a spoon?

I eat it with a spoon.

You kind of have to,
like, get used to it though.

This is, like, warm.

I like it like that
but that's how I'm used to eating it,

but we could put it in the fridge
for a while and you can have it later.

No, I mean, it's really good.

So what's going on…

with Scott?

Do you have, like, a plan,
like, with the kids or anything?

Or is it just, like, whenever?

[unsettling music]

I just want to keep it, like,
as normal for them as possible.

[Kim] Mm-hmm.

But, like, I just know that the way things

were, if he just, like, moved back here,
it would just be the same.

I feel like he had fun,

and then once, like, reality set in,
he was like, "Oh, [bleep]."

Yeah, but I feel like that's kind
of what happens every time.

Like, he would be home and be really good

for, like, three months
and then go out of town

and then be, like, worse
than he was, you know, before--

Like, each time, it would
get worse and worse.

And so…

And you don't have time for that.

[Kourtney] No.

He has, like, two personalities.
That's the hard thing.

It's like he wants both.

He's like, "I just want my family,"
or whatever

and I'm just like,
"Well, what are you doing

to try to change your life?"

There's just a lot
that would have to happen

for him to, like, get on a good path.

Yeah, and it would definitely
be a process.

[Kim] Do you think you would ever, like,
forgive him and get back with him?

-[Kourtney] Me?
-[Kim] Mm-hmm.

-[plastic rustling]
-[Kourtney] Um…

I feel like right now…

Hey, Scott.

[metal clanging]

[Scott]
I'm trying to find the keys to my car.

[Kim] I am, like, in shock.

I haven't seen him in so long.

He obviously spent the night,

and Kourtney didn't mention
that he was there.

Wait, a Range Rover key?

[Scott] Yeah, do you have it?

I saw it right there.

-If, if it's yours.
-I've never heard

so much [bleep] noise in one house.

I thought Kourtney was, like,
really strong and firm

and now, like, are they back together?

What is he… Like, I just don't understand.

[Scott] Kourt, do you know
where this key went?

[Kourtney] Um…

No. Is it in the car maybe?

[Scott] No, it was outside.

-[Kourtney] Hmm?
-It was outside the car and now it's…

That scaffolding noise is insane,
by the way.

They're putting up the mirrors.

[bleep]

Wait, do you think he heard me?

-[Kourtney] No.
-Why was he…

[chuckles]
I didn't know he was here.

What if he thinks I was, like,
talking [bleep] about him?

[Kourtney] No, he doesn't.

That was so awkward.

[unsettling music]

[jet engine whooshing]

[lively music]

[Khloé] Ooh, hello.

Are we going to, like,
a green room real quick?

-Yes, we are.
-[Khloé] Okay.

-And then we'll go into the event.
-[Khloé] Perfect.

I want to introduce you all
to Khloé Kardashian.

[crowd cheering]

-Over to you.
-Thank you.

I just wanted to say
thank you, guys, so much

for coming here today

and celebrating with us
our launch for Kardashian Kids.

My sisters are sorry
they couldn't be here.

It's always an excuse.
One has a baby and one's pregnant.

-So…
-[crowd laughs]

-It's me, I'm here.
-[crowd whooping]

I just landed in Australia

and all I know is that
I hit the ground running,

and I'm gonna be working
for three straight days.

[Khloé] Nice to see you. Hi.

Jet lag is slowly kicking in

but personally I'm so grateful
for everyone that's here,

appreciating and accepting our line

and wanting it and just really
being so excited about it

that it gives me the second wind.

Kardashian Kids is now available in stores

and online only at the Big W.

-[director] Great, doing great, Khloé.
-[Khloé] Mm-hmm.

-[woman 1] Hi. How are you?
-Oh, my goodness.

What was the competition?

I had to write in 25 words
where would I take you in Australia.

[Khloé] Where?

[woman 2] I said, I'll take you
to cuddle a koala…

-Yes.
-[woman 2] and cackle with a kookaburra.

Do you know that koalas have chlamydia?

[Khloé] I have been to the zoo here
and I was like,

"Oh, my God, we're gonna hold koalas,"

and they said, "You can't,
'cause they have chlamydia."

-[woman 1] Yes.
-It's like, "[bleep] off,

they don't have an STD," but they do.

-It's-- They're gross.
-Nasty little animals.

[lively music]

[Kris] What is this salad?
It smells so good.

[Kim] Avocado and beans and chicken, um…

and tomato and cheese.

So, in two weeks,

are you looking forward
to getting new roommates?

-[Kris] New roommates?
-Yes.

Me, Kanye, North. Just three.

Are you kidding?

The last time Kim told me

she was moving in for a couple of months,

it stretched into almost two years.

She completely took over my whole house.

[Kim] This one has a lock on it.

-[Kris] Well, who's got the key?
-[Kim] I do.

Why would you have the key to my diamonds?

[Kris] This is my closet.

I'm thinking to myself,
"Oh, here we go again."

[Kris] You know what people ask me?

"Are you sad that your kids
have all left the nest?"

And I said, "I'll let you know
if they ever leave."

I can't believe I'm saying this but fine.

This time, it's only till December 1st…

[Kris] You're staying for six months?

[laughs]
It's not six months, Mom.

-[Kris] Oh, my God.
-It's five months.

-It'll never be five months.
-It is, Mom, it is,

because I'm having the baby and I cannot--

[Kris] That's what you said the last time
and you gave birth at my house.

Help me.

[lively music]

It's only 5:50.

For us, it's actually, like, 1:00 a.m.

You've had a very, very long day.

[Khloé] Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh.

[yawns]

[bleep]

[laughs]

Either you're funny
or I'm really delirious.

I think you're just really--
'Cause I don't think I'm that funny.

I don't really know what's happening.

[laughing]
Your random spurts of, like, um…

What do they call it?

What's that disease called
when people, like…

-Tourette's?
-Yes.

You have randy--
Random spurts of Tourette's.

-Randy?
-Randy.

[phone chimes]

[Khloé whispers] Scott.

"Wow, I can't believe
I've been writing your old number.

Kourtney's told me about this new number,

and now I see we actually did text.

I'm sure I was not
in the right frame of mind.

I really want to talk to you
about everything when you can."

I haven't spoken to Scott
in about a month,

and it's interesting to me
that he's texting me now.

I mean, my last text from him
is me reaching out to him,

and then, it just goes dead
for about a month.

Kourtney, do you want me to talk to him?

[Khloé] I don't feel comfortable
responding to him

until I talk to Kourtney
and see what she wants me to say.

You have to reward some good behavior.

I haven't seen good behavior yet,
'cause he wants to talk.

No, I know.

But in, you know, taking responsibility
for not trying to communicate?

-At least it's the truth.
-Yeah.

[rock music]

[lively music]

-[door opens]
-[Kris sighs]

It's been a long time
since I've been here.

They have pad thai.

-[Kris] Thank you.
-Do you want to order, Mom?

-Thank you. Okay.
-Sure.

Can I get the Dim Sum

-and Then Some?
-[waiter] Yeah.

[Kim] And I'll get
the Chinese chicken salad,

and then, I'll get the pad thai

-and then the chicken pot stickers…
-[waiter] Okay.

[Kim] …and then shrimp fried rice.

If I start eating like you,
I'm gonna look like I'm pregnant.

So I've been, like, acting
a little bit more interested

in Kourtney's whole, like,
organic pregnancy stuff,

just so I can kind of, like,
keep an eye on her.

-That's a good idea.
-Just to make sure

-she's okay, you know?
-[Kris] Mm-hmm.

[Kim] But then the other day,

I was there and I was talking
to Kourtney about Scott,

and I was like, "So what are you gonna do?

What are the rules gonna be?
What are this, what are that?"

and then he just walks out,
like, of the other room.

-[Kris] He was there?
-Yeah. He was fully there.

[Kim] It was clear he spent the night.

-[Kris] No.
-And I was like it was so awkward.

Well, I learned the hard way,

because I've been through being divorced,
basically, when I had little kids.

And you have to put the kids first.

-You just have to--
-She does. No, she totally does.

[Kris] Yeah, but I mean,
it can't be about her,

and it can't be about him
and I think she's handling it really well.

I think they just have to really focus on…

making sure the kids don't feel,

you know, abandoned by anybody.

[Kim] You know, I think regardless
of Scott and Kourtney being together,

Scott will always be in our lives.

I mean, he's the father
of my nephews and my niece.

We want him healthy and happy,

so that he can be in their lives
as much as possible.

But I still want Kourtney to figure it out

and be strong and not get back
together with him.

[upbeat music]

This rack is my mom's.
I'm not this unorganized.

We should maybe move them, so that my mom

has as much room
for all of her stuff as possible.

Hi. What's going on?

[inquisitive music]

[Kim] Just organizing my stuff.

Why is it all in the garage?

[Kim] Because you don't use this garage,

and I thought that I would
not take up an extra bedroom,

and I would just have
all my stuff right here.

[comical stinger]

[Kris] Oh, my goodness.

The takeover has begun.

There's racks of clothes
and shoes and bags.

She is going to have
every corner of my house.

Well, I hope you remember all of this,

and how you took over my entire house,

-when I'm 85 years old--
-I didn't take over your whole house.

and I'm senile and I have nowhere to live.

-[giggles]
-Wow.

[Kris] What did I get myself into?

[lively music]

-[Malika] How you feeling? You okay?
-[Khloé] Yeah, I just don't like rushing.

[Jen] You need to recheck your…

My vag*na?

-My camel toe?
-[Jen] No.

Listen, a girl's got a puffy [bleep],
remember that.

It's a good opener. It's an icebreaker.

Today is a major press junket day.

I have about 60-something different
media outlets that I'm meeting with.

-Khloé, welcome back to Sydney.
-Thank you.

-It's great to have you here.
-Thank you. I love being here.

Before we get started, just want to say,
I loved your Complex sh**t.

[Khloé] Thank you.

It was terrifying but a lot of fun to do.

Yeah.
[laughs]

Doing these by myself,
picking up the slack for my sisters,

[Khloé] I mean, it's intense

but you just got to plaster
a smile on your face,

ignore the jet lag and keep it pushing.

-Can I get you anything?
-[Khloé] I'm good.

Hi, Khloé. Thank you
so much for meeting with us.

[Khloé] Thank you.

[reporter] What's the best thing
about working with your sisters?

[Khloé] It's crazy 'cause they say
you should never work with family

but I would not know
how to work with anybody else.

We trust each other.

Like, Kourtney is breastfeeding
and can't travel with all of her kids

and Kim's pregnant,

so they, of course, trust me to be here.

It's a big responsibility.

-[reporter] It is.
-[both laugh]

[Jen] Two more and then lunch.

-Okay.
-[reporter] Thank you.

[Khloé] Thank you.

[Malika] You're almost done.

-[Khloé] Yay.
-You're such a sport.

[Khloé] Oh, Malika.

Khloé is a people pleaser.

[Malika] She'll do anything
to please her sisters.

But I think the workload's
a little excessive,

and it's only set up this way

because it's intended to be
spread across three people.

What's been your favorite look of 2015?

I don't know,
'cause I can't think about anything.

[reporter 2 laughs]

This is when I wish one
of my sisters were here,

'cause we always, like,
answer for each other.

[reporter 2] Amazing. That's me.

[Khloé] Yeah. Thank you so much.

[Malika] Mmm, something smells good.

-[utensils clinking]
-Hey there, hi there, ho there.

So what was your favorite part
about today's interviews?

I don't know, Malika.
Just, like, repetitive.

I'm like, "Can we just all sit
in one room, guys?"

So many people today though.

[whispers] So many people.

But I'm like, I don't even know
what we're talking about anymore.

You're more exhausted
than you normally would be,

because you're doing
all of this by yourself.

I'm normally doing this by myself.

Khloé, over and over again,

pretty much puts herself
on the back burner

when it comes to work with her sisters.

And I think it's unfair
that she has to do things alone.

She needs to put herself as a priority

and she can't do that
unless she has help from them.

Didn't Kimberly just go to Paris?

[Khloé] Mm. Mm-hmm.

But she can't come here to do this.

[Jen] Do you want them to come with you?

Of course she does
but she's, like, a super sister.

I do all the work

-and we split all the money.
-[Malika] What if you just said no?

What if you were just like,
"You know what? I can't make it."

Have you ever even said anything?

Just saying, "You know what, you guys?
I've pulled up for you now.

I'm just hoping that when it's my turn,
you guys will do it for me."

You talk to them, Malika.

I'd be happy to but I think
it would be better to come from you.

love you to pieces.
You should talk to your sisters.

[downbeat music]

[Kourtney]
Kim, were these your gold things?

[Kim] No.

Uh, the same ones though.

So, of course.
that means she took the whole…

thing, what I was doing,
which I don't mind

but ask me for my marble.

[Kourtney] Hmm.

How long are you staying here?

[Kim] Till probably, like,
the first week of December.

[Kourtney] What?

I thought you were here for, like, a week.

[Kim] No, I'm here till December.

What was Scott doing
at the house the other day?

[Kourtney]
He said he wanted to check into a rehab,

and they didn't have,
like, a private room until that day.

But he's out at the club last night,
partying?

So he was like,
"Do you mind if I stay there?

I'll stay down in the guest room.

Just 'cause I can't be in my house alone,

it's, like, not good for me."

And so then, he was at the house

and I just so saw
how his brain works, for the first time.

Like, he just, like, convinces himself
of why he needs to go out.

He, like, to make himself feel okay,
he makes the "excuse me."

-You know? Like, he's like…
-[Kim] Yeah.

-That's so wrong.
-"I want to k*ll myself

from being in this room."

[pensive music]

But it was just, it made it so clear

that no matter what I do,
or don't do, like, he uses…

He'll make anything into an excuse.

And I just don't need that
around us right now.

[Kim] I feel really relieved

that Kourtney doesn't want that toxic part
of their relationship in her life anymore.

Right now, she's really strong
and in a good place

and she's realized
that she will be better off

and happier this way.

All, like, the help
and protecting we try to do

for these guys,

like, it's just not helpful.

-You know?
-Yeah, totally.

[lively music]

[camera shutters clicking]

-[Khloé] Hi.
-I'm Teresa.

-So nice to meet you.
-Khloé. Nice to meet you.

Can he take a picture with you guys?

[shutter clicks]

[Khloé] We've had such a crazy trip.
So much work.

I am fully exhausted right now
but Malika found this drag show

and I feel like I owe it to her
to let loose and have fun.

[drag queen] Want to do a sh*t?

-[Khloé] Yeah.
-[man] We are gonna do sh*ts with Khloe.

Wet [bleep].

[Khloé] Wet [bleep]?
I don't know what that is. [bleep]

[indistinct shouting]

[laughter]

-[indistinct shouting]
-[bleep]

[Khloé] Do I have a wet [bleep]?

[whooping]

[man] Up the bum, no babies.

[Khloé] Up the bum, no babies.

[all] Yes.

-[bleep].
-[woman] Hi to Khloé.

Yes.

-[indistinct chatter]
-[laughter]

[Khloé] Start this [bleep].

Welcome to Stonewall Hotel.
It's such a fabulous evening.

[all cheering]

[whooping]

[all cheering]

[Khloé] Thank you guys so much.
This was the best part of my trip.

[all cheering]

[Khloé] I am having the best time.

sh*ts, drag queens.

Like, it's just super fun.

And I think I need this sometimes
for my soul.

-[whooping]
-[all laugh]

I mean, honestly, that was
the funniest thing we'll ever do.

[Khloé] Malika had a really good point.

I'm the last one to take time for myself
or take time off work

but I'm so happy Malika made me.

Now I get these memories
of being in Australia,

going to a drag show
and having the best time.

-Oh, I love you.
-Thank you.

[laughs]

It's 5:02, you guys and we are…

[clamoring]

Turnt up.

[upbeat music]

-[Kim] Do you have mascara?
-[Kris] Really, Kim?

What, 'cause I'm using your mascara?

Get a life.

I have these videos on my phone of Mason

teaching North how to ballroom dance,

and he put on a prince costume
and he made North wear a crown.

It was so funny.

[Kris] Have you talked to Kourtney?

I mean, I do. She just seems
like it's, like, frustrating,

but she's gonna get through.

I think she knows, like,

what can she do with Scott, you know?

Well, I just feel like, I mean, for me,

I'm trying to be there for her
but in ways,

like, she calls me, like,
right before the weekend,

and she says, you know--

She doesn't have a nanny on the weekends.

I know, so she said,
"Can you babysit Saturday?"

And I'm like, "Oopsy, photo sh**t."

I mean, Corey will help her.

So she was like, "Okay."

And I just feel like
the only thing I know to do

-is just to be there for her
-Yeah.

but I don't really know how
she's honestly feeling inside,

because she doesn't stop
long enough to talk about it.

Yeah.

I mean, I know this sounds crazy
'cause you guys think I'm nuts

if I, if I have any compassion
for the person on the other side

but I worry about him, too,

because I'm sure he's struggling

and feels horrible and he's in a place

where he probably doesn't know what to do.

He was the one that [bleep] up.

Well, he's definitely in the doghouse,

but I'm more worried right now about

three little kids under the age of five.

I'm gonna reach out to him.
I think I'm gonna reach out.

I'm just gonna pop him a text
and say, "Hey, how are you?"

[Kris] I really want to have
a conversation with Scott.

I want him to find himself.

I want him to be a better person
for himself,

and for nobody else, so that he can be
a great dad to those kids,

because he loves them and they love him

and he just needs to focus on his family.

[Kim] I wish she would move on from him.

I'm over him.

[lively music]

[Khloé] Look at the moon.

Or is that the sun?
I feel like I'm in Africa.

-Malika, look.
-[Malika] Yeah, it's stunning.

-[Jen] The sun's over here.
-Oh, right.

I know where my things are.

What are those, planets?

[Jen] Oh, my God.

-You guys, what are we doing?
-[Jen] Oh.

-[Khloé] First of all--
-Look at that fire.

[Khloé] That's to light
the balloon, you idiot.

-[Jen] Oh, my God, there's the balloon.
-It's from gas.

[Khloé] We've had such a crazy trip.
So much work.

And I'm not gonna be in Australia often,
even though I love it here.

This is so cool.

[Khloé] So I decided to stay an extra day

and take Malika and Jen up
in a hot air balloon ride

to do something
that's peaceful and beautiful.

Something that we will remember forever.

-[Matt] All right, here we go.
-[women] Bye, you guys.

[Matt] Here we go.

Stop playing on your phone
and look at this.

[Malika] Oh, my goodness.

[Malika squeals]

See the Sydney skyline?

[Khloé] Oh, my God.

This is so insane, you guys.

-[phone rings]
-[Kourtney] Hi.

-Kourt, look how crazy--
-[Kourtney] That is so cool.

You know, I've been on one before.

Oh, [bleep] you.

Okay, you are…

Suck my [bleep]. Bye.

Being up in this hot air balloon,
it does give you time to reflect

and I do think when I get back home,

I want to talk to Kourtney and Kim.

I want to play fair
but I want my sisters to pull

the same share of the weight that I pull.

[laughs]

But just because I don't have a child,
doesn't mean I don't need "me time"

to enjoy my life a little more.

[Khloé] You guys,
I'm so excited about today.

[Jen] That's a nice change of attitude.

Do you think Matt's ever peed
outside of that thing?

When he's up there?

-Probably.
-For sure.

Or, like, in a cup?

[Khloé] You're so silly.

[lively music]

[Kris] Kim?

Oh, hey there.

[Kris] How are you?

You look cute.

[Kim] Mom, there's two ice cream things
I want,

but I feel like you should get them after.

They always say never go
to a grocery store hungry.

-Well, I'm starving, so that's a problem.
-[Kim chuckles]

[Kris] Where's Kourtney?
She's always late.

See, Kourtney has everything that's green.

Like, she made me replace

every single last thing
in my kitchen that's plastic.

Kim, we're turning over a new leaf.

A very green leaf.

[chuckles]

-[Mason babbles]
-Hey, guys.

-[Kris] Hi.
-Hi, guys.

-[Kris] Hi, Mase.
-[Kim] Hi.

This has changed my life, this store.

-[Kourtney] It has?
-Yes.

-[Kim] Hey, dude.
-[Mason] Hi.

[Kim] We'll be back.
We're gonna go get water.

[Kris] Can I just tell you
something really quick?

-Yes.
-[Kris] So I'm supposed

to go out to lunch with Scott.

Yeah. I don't think he's,
I think he's, like, M.I.A.

[pensive music]

Well, I didn't know he was M.I.A.,

and I just wanted to make sure
that I had your blessing

before I just go have lunch with him.

Yeah, but you don't need to go in public,

where, like, people see you.

I want to be very transparent
with Kourtney and let her know

that I want to talk to Scott,
because I want her blessing.

I want her to know how I feel.

[Kris] And I think it's important
for me to reach out to him

because I want him to know
that I'm here for him.

[Mason babbling]

So, I'm gonna call you later

and let you know if he reached out.

Just tell me when I see you at the house.

But just so I'm clear before…

I just wouldn't go somewhere in public,
'cause there's no need.

Okay, but I have your blessing
to have a chat with him?

-Sure, he can come over.
-[Mason] Mom.

All right, I'll have him
come to my house, then.

Okay, I'm going to take him
maybe to a quick pet store,

and then I'll see you at my house.

-Okay. Love you.
-[Mason] Pet… Pet store.

[lively music]

-[Khloé] Come here, sister.
-[Penelope babbles]

Do I get a hug hello first?

-[Penelope giggles]
-[Khloé grunts]

[Khloé] So do you want two of these
or you want a Oreo?

[Penelope] One of those.

-Can I have one?
-[Khloé] Of course.

[Kim] That's not organic.

That's not with organic eggs.

[Kim and Khloé]
That's not with organic sprinkles.

[Kourtney] Mm.

This house has nothing organic in it
for me to eat.

Yes, there is organic things.
Go eat the fruit.

You are so tiny.

I am never been more jealous
of a human in my life.

[Khloé] Your tits are…

Are heavier than you.

Right, but that's probably
why you're bigger,

'cause your boobs are so big.

I'm so jet-lagged from Australia.

You are? Why?

[keys tapping]

'Cause I just came back from Australia.

[tapping continues]

Look, I love…

going to these places,
I love doing these things.

I don't mind the work
but sometimes I feel like

I really, like, pick up the slack
a lot of times when people,

I'm doing a kids' promotional tour
and I don't have kids.

You guys all have families and kids.

I have no friends anymore.

I don't have time to, like,
meet people or go on dates

because I've done too many jobs.

I don't have time to meet people
or go on dates, or if I do,

it has to dwindle out

because then I'm working too much,

and it's just
a non-consistent relationship.

I just want when I want to have,
like, my fun time, maybe to, like,

if you guys could ease up
on me just, like, a little.

[Kourtney] So why don't you
write down the things

that are important to you, like, say--

But that's not taking a two-week vacation.

Like, you guys have your lives.

-That's what I'm saying.
-I'll pick up the slack.

Well, I'll fill in October,
so you don't have to.

[Kourtney] I understand Khloé's point.

Clearly, Kim and I have been
busier lately, having children.

And I do feel bad and I want Khloé
to have a personal life.

I want her to be happy.

I don't want her to be
stressed out or overwhelmed.

And I'm happy to try
and step in a little bit more.

I think that your issue is…

-[Khloé] But sometimes I--
-No, I'm gonna tell you

what your issue is,
'cause I actually do know.

Okay, what is it?

You feel guilty saying no to anything.

-Yes. Very true.
-Like, so you've been overworked,

and you've been doing all this stuff.

Like, just say, "You know what,
I really need the day off tomorrow."

-No one would understand that.
-[Kourtney] Yeah, they would.

Have a baby.
It's, like, such a good excuse.

-Like, you don't have to do anything.
-Who am I gonna have a baby with? Batman?

Wouldn't that be amazing? I love Batman.

-[Khloé] Who? What Batman?
-Any of them. They're all good.

Some freak on Hollywood and Highland.

No, he needs to be, like, legit
with the Batmobile.

No, get out of my house.

[lively music]

-[door opens]
-[Kris] Scott?

-[Scott] Mm.
-[Kris] You can come on in.

You know what,
I have something really cute

you can take over to the kids
that they might like.

-[Scott] All right.
-[Kris] I found this at a store.

It's a whole pad.

You color this and then,
you make it, like, a little mask.

-And they can put it on?
-Yeah.

-That's fun.
-And is that, like, a bow?

We need to figure out
what your daughter though is saying now.

She's like, "Don't let him in the house.
He didn't schedule the time."

I'm like, "What? The time?" I go,

"I went to work, I did what I had to do
and now I'm going to the house."

-Right.
-[Scott] Like…

I don't know what's going on
with you guys,

but maybe you need to think,

"I'm gonna try and be proactive
in making this a better--"

[Scott] Right, but every day
it's a different story.

When we got separated,
the whole thing was,

"You're not gonna have
the kids stay with you,

but I'm gonna have
an open-door policy here,

that at any time, any hour,
you want to be here,

you can be here with the kids."

Then it went to,
"You need to schedule times."

Then it went to taking
the bar codes off of all my cars

so I couldn't get into the house
without dialing the house.

I feel like I'm missing
a piece of the story.

[Scott] So am I.

Every single day, I was driving there,
sitting with them all day, every day.

Do you want to just see
if we can get her on the phone?

[Scott] I mean…

[line ringing]

-[Kourtney] Hey.
-Hi, honey.

-[Kourtney] Hi.
-I'm sitting here with Scott.

-You're on speaker.
-[Kourtney] Uh-huh.

[Kris] I'm just trying
to be the mediator here

and not cause a problem
and you're my priority.

I'm just wondering, from your perspective,

because Scott seems a little confused,

because he thought
there was an open-door policy,

-that he could come by whenever--
-[Kourtney] There was.

There was.

But that has changed.

-He was flaking too often.
-[Kris] Yeah.

[Kourtney] Every time I tried to have him
sit and have dinner with them,

he sits in the other room on his phone.

He flaked on going
to the kids' first day of school.

He says, "I can't go
'cause I hate school [bleep].

I get anxious."

When really, he went out
and, like, partied through the next day.

Just like a real [bleep] ass [bleep].

His main concern is himself, not the kids.

And that's what's important here
is the kids.

[Scott] Didn't you tell me
to stay at the house

when you were gone?

[Kourtney] I asked you
if you wanted to, you said yes.

You flaked on Sunday.

Right, so I'm there today
and I'm going there

and then you're telling the gate
I can't come in?

[Kourtney] You didn't make a plan.

You know you need to tell in advance.
The kids had plans.

It's like, I've got to get off
this hamster wheel,

'cause this is not
what my life is going to be.

So none of these things
are happening anymore.

They need consistency,

they need a parent
who is going to be present

and provide them
with a beneficial experience,

not something that's harmful.

I can't wait for the day

that we can all hang out together,

do things with the kids as a family,

but he's not in that place right now.

[Kris] Uh, would it be okay if he went by
and put Mason to bed tonight and P?

[Kourtney] Sure, if he was there

when they get home to have dinner at 5:30,

-sit and have dinner with them--
-[Scott] Anything else, boss?

You want me to fold
any of your clothes or anything?

[Kourtney] I don't want you
to stop by for 30 minutes

and then you get a call to go out

and then you're like,
"Sorry, I got to go."

The kids are like, "Why did Dad leave?"

'Cause we don't live together.

It's better I see them
than not see them at all.

[Kourtney] Can you not commit to going
for, like, two and a half hours?

Of course you can.

Kourtney, we're gonna hang up now
but he'll be over there by 5:30.

-[Kourtney] Okay.
-[Kris] I love you.

[Kourtney] Love you, too. Bye.

Are you gonna go put Mason to bed tonight?

I don't know.
This whole [bleep] is so weird.

But do you want to?
That, that shouldn't be…

-That-- This doesn't matter.
-No, I'm going to Florida.

-You're going to Florida?
-[Scott] Yeah.

-When?
-In a couple hours.

Come on.

If that was my window
to spend with my kids,

-I'd go enjoy my window.
-[Scott] This is just crazy. It's like,

"All right, sit with your kid,
eat dinner with your kid,

-put your kid to sleep and then get out."
-[Kris] Listen.

But it's part of the price
that you're gonna have to [bleep] pay

for this whole thing.

[thrilling music]

You have to earn back trust
that you've lost.

-No, I know. It's just…
-[Kris] Well, [bleep].

It's just not as easy as it sounds.

No, it's not gonna be easy
but you have to fight…

I've talked to her about it, she said…

You don't just talk about it,
you have to show your actions.

I have to be honest with you.

Part of love is being honest
and you really [bleep] up.

[Kim] On the next episode…

[crowd] Surprise.

Welcome to your graduation ceremony.

[crowd cheering]

You know how, like,
I'm kind of, like, psychic?

The other day, something woke me up,

it whispered in my ear.
It was going, "Khlo."

I just want to know
who my little friend is.

-[device beeping]
-[screams] It just jumped.

You have elevated blood pressure.

After Paris, my feet and my hands
completely swelled up.

I really hope it's not diabetes.
I'm, like, actually scared.