11x10 - Miscommunication

[bunniefuu]

[Kim] Previously on Keeping Up
with the Kardashians…

[Brian] Good.

[Kylie] Kourtney looks the
best she's ever looked.

She is laughing again

and just being the Kourtney I knew,
like, five years ago.

Boom.

[Kourtney] I told you
I'm going to Montana Sunday?

[Kris] Who's gonna watch the kids?

You guys are taking them to San Diego.

-[Khloé and kids yelling]
-[Khloé] Being in the car

with three toddlers
is the best form of birth control.

[groans]

[Scott] I just, I just can't do this.

[Khloé] Did you take anything today?

[Scott] I just want it to be over.

-No, no, no, we have to call the police.
-[Scott] I gotta go.

[lively music]

[knocking on door]

[Kris] Hello?

Stop.

Your fave.

Wait, can I Snapchat you?

[singsong]
Look what I brought you.

Your favorite.

You're so cute.

-You're so nice.
-Why is it all white?

Wait. It's a…

-[smooches]
-Ew.

-Don't actually kiss me.
-Oh. Okay, I won't.

-Thanks, Mom.
-You're welcome.

I love what's going on outside.

Remember when we used
to do work in the backyard

and I used to bring Krispy Kremes
to all the guys?

Should we give them a box?

Give them a box and tell them to enjoy.

Will you do it? I feel like
you're like, a woman,

-I'm, like, a little child.
-Yes. Okay

This is how it's done.

Hey, guys.

Want some donuts?

Donuts.
[whoops]

I'm gonna put them here
so they're not in the sun.

But don't leave them out here, too hot.

-[man] Okay.
-Okay?

-Krispy Kreme.
-[man] Thank you.

[Kris] See, Kylie? Pretty easy.

Sugar makes anybody happy.

[Kylie] That was really nice, Mom.

[Kris]
You need to have, like, little lessons

in how to be a great hostess.

-Are you going up my nostril?
-[laughs]

[theme music]

[lively music]

[Kris] Hey.

-Hi.
-Hi.

[Kris] How was your trip, Kourt?

Did you talk to Scott when you were gone?

Um, no.

[suspenseful music]

[Kris] Kim and I were at my house

and we were in the kitchen
and Khloé called

and put us on speaker

so we could just listen
to their conversation.

But he was really upset
and having a hard time and…

Said he missed you,
and he had no reason to live,

and it was pretty scary.

[suspenseful music continues]

The note that he sent Khloé was, like,

"Tell Bugs I love her
and I can't go on without her."

They say you always should call 911.

[Kim] So we… I almost did

because then he was crying
on the phone the whole time.

And Chris said, "I've never
seen him cry that hard

-all he does is cry."
-But… But then I got a text last night

and I'm like, "Oh, my God,
Scott just took some… 1 OAK."

-They said he was drunk…
-[Kourtney] Last night?

Last night.

[Kim] You know?

So after that whole thing and he's crying
and he's this and he's that.

Yeah.

[Kourtney] I think Scott put himself

in the situation that he's in,
with his actions.

I don't know, I just need to, like, live,

because I'm also, like,
not just making decisions for me

but for, you know, my three children

and it's really about him

deciding just what kind of life
he wants to live.

That's the thing, it's, like,
then do something about it.

We've said that a million times.

And I didn't want to bring you the drama,

but then I felt like
it was serious yesterday.

Mm-hmm. That's why I was like,
just call the police.

'Cause either you save someone's life
or he's bluffing and then you…

You know?

[upbeat music]

[Kim] Kokes?

-What are you doing?
-[Khloé] Just editing.

[groans, pants]

-[Khloé] Oh, no.
-[pants]

-[sighs]
-You're really, like…

-[Kim] Huge. I know.
-No, you're actually not.

-You're more belly this time.
-[Kim] And butt.

I look back at pictures,

-and I was so skinny, just my belly, so--
-You think that, you really weren't.

No, go look and you'll like, die.

"Kim pregnant with North."

How many months pregnant were you there?

[Kim] I gave birth the next week.

To even get up out of bed every night,

I have to be, like…
[groans]

It's, like, a full sit-up.

You can't get the six-pack now,
I don't think.

-[Kim] No, I know.
-God, you were skinny after North.

Okay, I am supposed to be writing
and you're distracting me.

I'm Googling pictures of you pregnant,

like, this is-- You're not helping me.

How is your book writing?

I mean, it's very time-consuming

-and I have to…
-[Kim] So time-consuming, right?

[Khloé] …read everything to make sure,
'cause they keep, like, adding things

that I don't want added.

[Khloé] I am writing a book

and it's called Strong Looks Better Naked

and it's really about being
strong mind, body, and soul.

And I really enjoy writing the book,

but I have so much going on,
I'm so overwhelmed.

And my book has a release date
that's been highly publicized.

So I cannot push back that release date.

[phone buzzing]

[phone beeps]

Hi. They took care of it.

Stop.

-[beeps]
-I'd be mortified.

Send me a picture. Oh, wait…

[groans]

[gasps]

-Yes.
-[whispers] Kim.

You're distracting the writing process.

Definitely do it. Bye.

-[phone beeps]
-You need a dose of fun.

-This is, like, taking over your life.
-No, but I-- It is.

But I have-- I just want it done.

I want it out of my way, done…
[clapping]

…and then we could have
all the fun in the world.

I feel you.

I have put so much work into this book.
Like…

beyond and I had no idea
how draining writing a book is.

So when I do have, like, three hours
to commit to the book,

I need to be laser-focused.

So I need to be antisocial
and really buckle down.

-No.
-Okay, so should I sit here and be quiet?

-No.
-And then when you're ready to have fun…

'Cause this is really comfy.

I sometimes write in my bathroom
on my vanity.

Do you wanna lay in here
and I'll go in there?

Okay, you lay there.

I need to focus.

[dog whines]

[lively music]

[lively music continues]

[Kris] Hi, guys.

Look at all this stuff.

-Isn't it remarkable?
-[Kris] I know.

Well, Kylie, she's so excited to move
into her new house.

-I'm excited.
-I'm excited to see

how she moves into her place
and takes care of it by herself…

and learns how to run a home.

-How exciting.
-[Kris] I know.

[Bill] You're gonna get a kick
out of this.

We have a, a couple
of interesting products.

So, you'll notice here, we call
this the "Luminous."

-[Kris] Oh, that's so pretty.
-And feel this.

-[Kris] Yeah, that's really pretty.
-[Bill] Isn't that a cool texture?

Yeah, I love this one.

[Kris] Yeah.

-We need that.
-You guys are getting me so excited.

-[Kris] I'm excited for you.
-[Kylie] Me too.

You're a big girl.

-My baby. Yeah.
-I'm a big girl now.

My house is almost finished up,

and the last thing I really
wanted to do was go to Toto

and get a few things.

It is nice to just have my own place.

I'm excited about it.

So, have you decided
when you get your new toilets

who's gonna clean them?
Is it gonna be you?

Well, yes.

[both laugh]

Where are the ones that warm up and…

-[Bill] Let's go look at that.
-…practically…

-[Bill] Yeah, right over here.
-…answer your emails for you?

[Bill] Let's come in here for a second,
we're gonna walk into the bathroom.

What I was gonna show you,
how when you turn this on

that wand come out and spray.

When you change the position,
move it in, move it out.

I feel like I'm at
the gynecologist's office.

-[Bill] Oscillate.
-[Kris] Oh, my.

When you get up and walk away
from using the bathroom,

you've never been so clean.

[Kris] That's amazing.

-Two of those, please.
-[Bill laughs]

Next time, Kylie, you can come
shopping all by yourself.

-All right, bye, guys.
-[Bill laughs]

[lively music]

[Kris] Hey, guys.

[photographer] Bring the light around
just a little bit.

Take a small step backwards.

Like, yeah, there you go.

That's it, great. Right there.

-Yeah.
-[camera shutter clicking]

Nice. That's it. That's it. Beautiful.

Nice. Very nice.

-Perfect.
-All right.

[pants]

-[Kim] Yeah. Hi.
-[Kris] Hey, Kim.

What are you sh**ting for?

Evening Standard magazine in London.

Is it about business?

Yes, it is.

-[Kim] Good.
-That's what the interview's all about

-that I'm doing next, downstairs.
-[Kim] Oh, fab.

Aren't those shoes great?

-[Kim] Yeah.
-[Kris] Look at the ones I have on.

[Kim] Very cool.

You should have told me
you were buying equipment,

I have all that equipment
and I'm selling all my equipment.

But I said can we use it

and you said you didn't want
to separate any of the equipment

'cause you wanted to keep it
all together and perfect,

so when you put it back in your gym.
Remember? I asked you?

Yeah, but I'm selling all of mine,
'cause I want light gray instead of black.

[percussive music]

All right, I'm gonna go sh**t this.

It's all right. I feel bad.

[Kim] Wait, can I tell you
what's so annoying?

I just have to say it one last time
and then I won't say it ever again?

-What?
-So, one of my bathrooms

has to be different
because you took my ten marble slabs.

I need to now buy seven slabs of marble
or I have to change two of my bathrooms,

'cause I can't have
my whole house be one marble

and then two rooms another marble.

[Kim] When we moved in
with my mom the first time,

we bought a whole ton of marble,

all these slabs from out of the country.

And she took my marble,
has never mentioned it,

has never paid for it and now
I have to figure out a new plan.

-So…
-Kim.

-Let me, very kindly--
-No, no, I'm just saying.

-No, I'm just saying.
-No. No. No.

I went to your house to see
what you were talking about.

-I had to change Kanye's whole bathroom--
-Really? Really?

Because you didn't have
one slab of marble?

No, no, no, we needed ten
and you took ten.

-I took six. In the United States, six.
-No, ten.

They just sent me
the invoice today, you took ten.

You're charging me for the marble?

Absolutely.

[tense music]

This whole situation is ridiculous,

and had I known Kim wanted
to charge me for marble,

then I would have made other decisions
in the first place.

I'm really getting frustrated

with the lack of communication
with my family.

They don't have that same marble.
I have Calcutta Gold.

-It's only from Italy.
-[Kris] Yes.

They only have Calcutta.

They do not have Calcutta Gold in stock,

-or I'm gonna have to wait--
-[Kris] How much will you give me

if I find you ten slabs of Calcutta Gold?

[tense music]

One million dollars.

-'Cause I've asked every slab--
-[Kris] Okay.

-One million.
-One million dollars.

-In the United States that is…
-One million dollars.

-…that is here.
-[Kris] If I have to rip it

out of that bathroom.

-No.
-I will find you ten slabs.

[Kim] They don't have it.

[lively music]

This weather is wild.

Don't you love how I'm, like,

compact, that I can,
like, totally fit in the chair?

-I hate it.
-[chuckles]

I'm a little critter.

Why are you, why are you stopping?
I just would like to understand.

You and Khadijah with the road rage.

It's, it's another level.

I mean, when there's
the thing in the middle,

you're allowed to turn before the…

-pedestrian crosses the thing.
-[Malika] Why don't you be a traffic cop?

-Okay, anyway.
-Side job, side hustle.

So, Kris Jenner flaked on today,

as she was, like, "So how badly
do you need me on this thing?

It's like you haven't done
a talk show before.

I have to work." I said,
"You know it's your job, right?"

"No. Uh-uh. Got to work."

[Khloé] It's just pissing me off.

I'm definitely feeling a ton of pressure.

I have so many appearances or DASH stuff
or just book editing.

And my mom needs
to stop booking me on things.

She's adding to my life
instead of helping me right now.

And God forbid, I would want my manager
at a talk show with me.

That's what they normally do.

She should apologize
and said, "I'm so sorry.

How can I make this up to you?"

Like, you guys just need to talk.

Ya think, Sherlock?

Everyone is a [bleep].

[lively music]

-[Penelope] Mama.
-[Kourtney] Yeah?

Why you bring a rice cupcake?

-[Kourtney] Why did I bring it?
-[Penelope] Yeah.

For a snacky-snack.

That's a really cute skirt, P.

So…

-Do I get a grand tour?
-[Kylie] Yeah.

So exciting.

Come on, dogs. You can come.

[Kourtney] Are you gonna keep this table?

-[Kylie] Yeah, I like it there.
-[Kourtney] You could also put

-this thing there…
-[Kylie] Mm-hmm.

…because you have space.

You could always see what it looks like.

Kourtney tips for the day.

[Kylie] My toilet.

[Kourtney] Ooh.

[Kylie]
It was my dream for the longest time.

-Really?
-[Kylie] Yeah. Toto. I love that.

My room's my favorite of the whole house.

[Kourtney] Are you going to have
a housewarming party?

[sighs]
Um…

Maybe I will.

[Kourtney] Any excuse for a party?

-Maybe I will.
-Um, do you want me to plan it for you?

[pensive music]

[Kylie] No.

I do want to have a housewarming party.

And my family is kind of known
for throwing extravagant parties

but I kind of want this to be chill
and just the people that I love.

-Hi, guys.
-[Kylie] Hi, Mother.

[Kris] It's so nice and neat.

Thanks. I'm a changed woman.

You really are.

-[Kris] I'm kind of impressed.
-Thanks, Mom.

All that bitching at you
for 18 years must have paid off.

We are going to have
a housewarming party here.

[Kylie] You know I love you guys
but I want to plan this by myself.

[percussive music]

Why don't you cater it?

I think it is really sweet that Kourtney

and my mom want
to help me with this party.

What about, like, mini milkshakes?

Mac and cheese.
Like, little grilled cheeses.

-Rice Krispy treats. Cotton candy.
-A sushi bar.

[Kylie] But I'm 18.

I want it to be how I want it to be

and throw my first
housewarming party on my own.

Don't forget you need valet parking

and probably dessert and…

[Kourtney] Who said you're invited?

[Kris] To your housewarming party

when I practically built
this house myself?

[Kylie] Unfortunately.

[chuckles]

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Where is my mother?

[Sheiva] She said she was 25 minutes
about ten minutes ago.

I think I just canceled
whatever was on the sixth

because then I have LA press, like…

-[Sheiva] Got it. Okay.
-…that Monday.

So, um, yeah, whatever.

I don't even know what I'm saying
'cause I hate life.

[both laugh]

[Khloé] Am I in a bad mood today?

I can't wait till Kris Jenner gets here
'cause she's just gonna get it.

[bright music]

[Kris] Hi, gorge.

-Hi, guys.
-[man] How are you?

-Good. How are you?
-[man] You look gorgeous.

[Kris] Did you just start sh**ting
just now?

-We waited for you.
-Yay.

You're so little.

[Sheiva] So little.

[Khloé] Okay, let's start sh**ting.
So I need the music on.

So you and I can't talk during music
'cause I can't sh**t just, like, silent.

I am beyond livid with my mom

because she overbooked me
on top of everything that I'm doing.

I have to finish editing my book
before the release date.

I'm so stressed out about it.
I want it to be a success.

Like, I have no time to do anything.

I don't want to slow down our set.

I've been up since four working.
I'm not in the mood today.

[Kris] So beautiful, Khloé.

That's it. That's the cover.

[upbeat music]

[Kris] Really good.

I just wanted to come by and say hi
and see what you were doing.

'Cause you're, like, on this runaway train
and I can't seem to get you on the phone.

I'm spreading myself too thin
with the app, with the DASH buying,

with the book,
which is the biggest nightmare.

I'm over it. I can't work this much.

[Khloé] Cancel something.

[pensive music]

I'm sorry you're overwhelmed,

and I'm sorry you're feeling like this.

And I will do everything I can.

-Since I've never, ever, ever asked…
-[Kris] Should we direct this?

-…to not do something before.
-[Kris] I hear you.

Khloé, you agreed
that this was a good idea.

[Khloé] I've expressed how I feel.

I'm just telling you I'm repeating--

[Khloé] And normally not
that adamant about something.

But I normally don't ask you things
like that.

When have I ever said, "Cancel something"?

Never.

What, what's more important?
Your daughter's sanity?

-Okay. I'll take care of it.
-[Khloé] Why is anyone's ever…

Just breathe.

-I'll take care of it.
-No, you just breathe.

[Kris] You agreed
that this was a good idea.

[Khloé] What the [bleep]
are you talking about?

[Kris] You agreed
to scheduling all of this.

[Khloé] No, I didn't, Mom.
You're a [bleep] liar.

[Kris] I feel bad
that Khloé's feeling overwhelmed

but this is what we planned for months.

And we've gone over every bit of it.

When you're stressed out and tired
and feeling overworked,

it makes it more magnified.

-Okay.
-[Khloé] I have to do all my jobs

and that's why I'm saying,

before another one starts,
let's diminish it.

Okay, I understand.

-Well, I don't think you do.
-[Kris] I'll take care of it. I do.

All right, I'm gonna go. I love you.

Go to your happy place.

Like, think about
Mary Poppins or something.

Just go to a different place in your head

so you can get through your day.

And get something to eat.

-I love you very much.
-[Khloé] What the [bleep]

is your obsession with food?

It'll make you feel better. Promise.

Love you.

[percussive music]

[Kim] I need to show you something.

Why did Rob post this of you?

'Cause I cussed him out earlier,
so he probably felt bad.

I get, like, the girl from Gone Girl

and you just get purple hair.

I love when Rob calls you
the girl from Gone Girl.

That was the best New Year's Day ever.

So, you guys, I want to set up

a meeting with this
communication professional

to go over always being on our phones.

And I found this really great person
that Kourtney actually found.

Wait, a meeting about always
being on our phones?

-[Khloé] Yeah, what?
-[Kris] Yeah.

You're never not on your phone.

I'm so sick and tired
of them not listening

and having Khloé telling me
to cancel events.

As her manager, it's not professional.

So I decided to let Kourtney
set us up with her friend Erica.

[Kris] It's like you don't listen,
not one of you.

And I think we all have to have
a powwow about communication.

My friend from college
is a communication expert.

This is one of the topics
that she talks about.

If this girl can talk some sense
into you and your sisters

and your brother, then hallelujah.

A communications meeting
is going to be a great tool

for them to be in the moment,

pay attention and not yell at me anymore.

I think that we're missing
a lot of really great moments

-with each other.
-[Kim] That's the dumbest thing

-I've ever heard in my life.
-[Khloé] I'm always the one

that tells you, "Put your phone down,
we're at dinner."

[Kris] I think if you guys
were to give it a chance

and come see what I'm talking about,

you might get some real good out of it.

It's like a little workshop.

With that… an activity.

[Khloé] I really don't get you.

You know how stressed out
I've been, writing my book.

And you want to add
one more thing to my list?

[Kris] Just listen to what
the woman has to say

and maybe you'll take away
one positive thing

from the experience.

[keypad clicking]

-What do you think?
-[Khloé] Sure.

[Kris] Mm-hmm. That means "sure".

I just said sure, I'll go, I don't know
how else you want me to go.

[Kris] Kim?

I'm down.

Okay. At least come with a good attitude.

Bye, guys.

[Khloé] [bleep] whack job.

[chuckles]

[bright music]

[Kourtney] How was the rest of her night?

-[Kylie] Who?
-[Kourtney] Kennys.

-I saw--
-[Kylie] I did not see her.

Kendall sat with them the entire dinner.

Then all of us literally finished eating,

JJ went to go check on her

and JJ never came back,
so ten minutes later I went

and I'm like, "The cars are outside,
we're ready to go,

we all want to go to Nice Guy,
let's hit it."

-[Kourtney] Yeah.
-And she goes,

"Get another car, Kylie."

-And I was like, "Okay."
-Yeah.

[clicks tongue]
Oh, the teenage drams.

So much teenage drams.

Yes.

-So exciting.
-[chuckles]

Um… okay, housewarming party,
what are we gonna do?

We need to, like, make this
the ultimate housewarming party.

Like, what about if we get,

like, flowers on your table
and you need, like,

we need to light all the candles
and we need…

Let's, like, make a slide from your hill,
like, going into the pool.

Like, I'm, like,
living my life through you.

Um…

We need to get the dogs,
like, have them go,

like, on a vacation for the day.

-[Kylie] A vacation for the day?
-Yeah.

I just wanted like, simplicity
and I just kind of wanted to do it my way.

But my way is the best way.

I know but I have to learn
to have my own way.

I just feel like I want
to do something low-key.

As long as you get my approval.

I don't know how many times
I have to say I'm grown now,

[Kylie]
I'm 18, I can handle this on my own.

Sometimes, with my family,

it's just easier to nod your head
and brush things off your shoulder.

Honestly, I don't even know
if I want to do it anymore.

[lively music]

[Kylie] On the car.

The current one.

[line ringing]

[Caitlyn] Hello?

Hey, Daddy-O.

[Caitlyn] Hey, babe.

Oh, you know what,
I was just going to call you.

Cute.

[Caitlyn] Honestly,
I just picked up the phone

and I was saying, "I got to call Kylie."

What's up?

Um, yeah, I just wanted to talk to you

because Kourtney and Mom
have been just, like…

I don't know what the right word is,

maybe, like, invasive or, like,
pushy, kind of, about my party.

Kourtney's been over and she's, like,

been rearranging all my furniture

and trying to tell me, like,
how to do my house

and I kind of wanted to do this,

like, on my own, you know
and have that experience.

[Caitlyn] All right, here's the deal.

Uh, it's your decision, it's your house,

it's your money, it's your area.

Do exactly what you want to do.

Yeah, all righty.

I think I'm just gonna
take my dad's advice

and just do whatever I want to do,

'cause it's my housewarming party

and it's gonna be done

how Kylie house parties are gonna be done.

[Caitlyn] Anyway, good,
what else is going on, anything exciting?

Yeah, I did a photo sh**t today.

[Caitlyn] Rocking it, girl.

It was pretty cool.
I had this cute little love interest.

[Caitlyn] Good. Good, all right.

Okay, love you.

-[Caitlyn] Love you, bye.
-[smooches]

Bye.

[lively music]

[Kim] Mom is so annoying.

Did you guys see her outfit today?

No, what is she wearing?

My Balmain outfit that she took from me

with a thin, black velvet choker.

Are you pissed or happy?

-Fuming.
-[Khloé] Where is Mom?

Mom and I planned this.

-So then why is Mom not here, though?
-[Kim] Yeah.

Mom flew off to Paris.

Shocker that she's making us do this.

My mom forgot to communicate with herself

that she had a [bleep] appointment.

[Kourtney] Hi, how are you?

I'm good, how are you?

[Kourtney] Khloé and Kim are here.

She's a no-show for her own meeting
that she orchestrated.

[Erica] Okay, so your
mama and Kourtney both call--

Well, we met, when, like,
a couple weeks ago,

to dine and discuss communication issues.

Also work on putting
the phones away, which…

-Yeah.
-Oh, like she's one to talk.

[Erica] I know.

We could start with a little exercise,

I want you to, for--
So, Khloé, let's say you start

and you tell Kim and Kourtney one thing

that you appreciate about them,
internally.

I appreciate your…

ability to be so honest.

[chuckles]

That could be a good thing or a bad thing.

[Kourtney] Yeah, I was gonna say

-it depends what it is.
-[Khloé] I appreciate it.

What I love about you

is your strength as, like, a mother
just to, like, hold everything together.

Thank you.

I would say Kim's ability,
like, to do it all.

-[Erica] Mm-hmm. Yeah.
-[Khloé] It is a good one.

Khloé, I admire, like,
just, like, your energy.

-Thank you.
-[Kourtney] You definitely

live in the moment

like, what we're been talking
about, to be present.

Like, you're definitely present

in, like, whatever situation you're at.

I feel like you're always in a good mood.

Not really, lately
you've been a little cranky.

Clearly Khloé has been
totally inconsistent lately

and, like, stressed out,
because she's a workaholic.

And I want her to be happy.

Nobody wants her to feel b*rned out.

[tense music]

[lively music]

[Kim] What kind of cookie
should I have, iced oatmeal?

[Khloé] That's the last one
I would choose.

Uh… terrible.

This one's not that icy.

You can't touch them all.

Mm. But these ones are so good, though.

They are, I haven't had one in so long.

[Kim] How is the book coming along?

Just…

It's, like, the most annoying
thing ever, is to write a book.

Yeah.

And Mom goes, "Why do you have
to read it so many times?"

I said, 'cause every time
I write something, like,

they change it.

So, yeah, I have to read
every single edit, the whole thing,

from start to finish, every time,

because who "knows what they're,
like, sinking in there."

I just feel super overwhelmed
with just, like, everything.

Like, just the traveling
for Kardashian Kollection

and Kardashian Kids and, like,
DASH and then a book writing

and then that and then
a stupid photo sh**t

and, like, just everything.

[sighs]
It's, like, one too many things.

Well, I think you are
definitely overwhelmed.

You're writing this book
and it has to be true.

It's, like, about mind, body and soul,
so you have to live it.

When do we ever live it?

Living what you're writing.

I think Khloé needs to really
start living in the moment

and really living the truth
of what she is writing about in this book

and just I think it's time
for her to focus on the project

she's really passionate about
so she isn't spread too thin.

I think sometimes we just get so busy

that we put so much energy
into the negative

instead of just being productive.

You just need to take some time for you.

[lively music]

Oh, this is where you want to sit?

[door closes]

What a pretty view.

I know, we sit out here
and have breakfast sometimes.

This is how I sit
having breakfast with Kanye,

-I like to sit next to him.
-I like sitting across.

-Aah. It's a spider.
-What?

[Kim] Get it [bleep] off me.

Why was that on your [bleep] face?

-[Kourtney] Where is it?
-[Kim] Oh, my God.

[Kourtney] What kind was it?

I don't know but I never
would've grabbed it

had I known it was a spider.

A little bit scared.

[Kim] How annoying was that,
that Mom didn't even show up

to our communication thing
that she set up?

[Kourtney] Ultra annoying.

-[Kim] So rude.
-And so weird.

-Like, Mom.
-What's that?

[Kourtney] Feel like she just wants us
to be off of our phones.

Yeah.

[Kim] We need to tell her, like, things
that we had to do in that class

-that she forced us to do.
-[Kourtney] Forced us to do.

And make her do them.

Something to where we just,
like, kind of, like, mock her.

[Kim] I think my mom
was trying to blame things on us

to make it seem like we're so disconnected

and always on our phones

when I think she's a little bit
more disconnected.

As our manager,
I think she should let us know

when she's gonna go travel the world

and she needs to learn a lesson that,

you know, at least we're all
communicating with each other.

Should we put her in a dunk t*nk
and say that that is, like…

-Trust?
-…one of our requests?

Yeah, like a trust thing?

Yeah, but where on earth
do you get a dunk t*nk?

I don't know. We'll rent one.

Let's call her.

[ling ringing]

-[Kris] Hi.
-Hey, Mom.

-[Kris] What's up, honey?
-[Kourtney] Um…

So you know how you missed
our exercises with Erica?

[Kris] Yeah.

[Kim] She thought
it would be good to do them

all together with you, too.

-[Kris] Oh, lucky me.
-Well, you set it up.

[Kourtney] Yeah, you're the one
who wanted to do this in the first place.

I'm shocked that you're not,
like, dying to do it.

[Kris] No, I am excited.

I'm excited to see
what she had to say.

[Kourtney] Okay, so we're gonna do it.

We'll set it up.
Like, when we get, like, Khloé here

and everything, we'll all do it together.

[Kris] All right, well,
I have another call holding.

Can I call you guys right back?

-[Kourtney] No need.
-[line beeping]

[giggles]

[Kim] Nothing pleasures me more
than, like, pranking my mom,

and we are gonna let my mom know

that she is no better than we are.

There are consequences

for her missing
the communication session.

[lively music]

[doorbell dings]

[Kim] Hey.

[Kris] Oh, look at the wallpaper up there.

What's going on?

[Kylie] Wanted to see you guys
and host a cute dinner.

Cute. What is this?

-[Kris] It's a diffuser, so you can--
-Cute. Does it have little things in it?

Yeah. Where are they?

-[Kim] She's a regifter.
-White cake?

-[Kim] Hi, baby.
-[Khloé] I know.

-It's everything.
-What's happening?

-[Kim] Hi, baby.
-[Kylie] You guys, this is so cute.

No one's really been at my house together.

I'm super excited
about my housewarming party

and I decided I'd invite everyone
the day of the party

and just kind of wanted
this one to be all me

and not worry about other opinions.

Hopefully, they just enjoy themselves

and think that I am a good hostess.

[Kris] She did such a beautiful job.

-[Khloé] Cute.
-She got our favorite food.

Where did these come from?
I love these.

Kourtney Kardashian.

-[Kourtney] I skipped…
-Those are really--

-I have these in gold.
-[Kourtney] I bought these…

[Khloé] Kylie, where did you get
these flowers from?

[Kylie] Tyga. He gives me
flowers, like, every day.

[Khloé] That's so nice.

I will say, your house
has turned out so good.

[Kim] It's so good.

-So cute… Yeah.
-[Kourtney] It is. I love it.

It has good vibes.

I just wanted to say…

thank you guys for coming
and I appreciate it.

And I didn't expect
any housewarming presents.

-[Kourtney] Aren't you happy?
-[Kylie] Yeah.

[laughing]

[Kourtney] I'm so proud of Kylie.

She's, like, such a little grown-up

and I feel like she really
got the skills about,

like, hosting and how
to keep your household

and I'll back off and let her,

you know, take charge of her own house.

[Kris] Yum. This is good luck.

Your first piece of cake in your house.

I didn't put it on my rolls.

-It's so good.
-[Kylie] Just clean.

-[Corey] Good. Clean. Pardon me.
-[giggles]

[Kylie] Shut up.

[Kris] Oh, my God.

[Kylie] Shut up.

[Kris] I have to go out tonight,
so please don't do that to me.

Oh, no. No. Not on her beautiful chairs.

Oh, my God, you guys,
look what you're doing.

You can't clean this up.

Oh, my God. [bleep]

-Oh.
-You cannot clean this up.

There is guacamole all over
your shoes, all the guacamole.

I'm gonna get guacamole up your vag*na…

[Kris] What is going on?

…right now.

Spread your legs.

[Khloé] Not the best choice of a chair
if you can't clean it.

-Spread your legs.
-Got to stop with the guac.

[Khloé] Look what you did to this chair.

[Kourtney] Tell her to spread her legs.

-She's very excited about the--
-See that Kn*fe right there?

-No.
-[Kourtney] It's literally

going up your [bleep].

[Kris] Kourtney, so you just
help me with the dog.

What do you want in your vodka drink, Mom?

[Kris] Just nothing.
It's fine just with some ice.

[laughing] You are
the biggest whore on the planet.

Khloé.

[grunts]

It's a unicorn.

It is a unicorn.

Well, I'm glad I threw the party
because I'm really mature.

[Khloé]
Ooh, you look like Chiquita Banana.

[laughs]

But I don't know about them so much.

[Corey] Oh, she scared you.

-You guys.
-[Kris] What?

Kylie, we just blessed your house.

[Kourtney] And you're welcome.
We just blessed your house.

Oh, God.

-Avocado is good for your hair.
-[Corey laughs]

I don't think sour cream is.

I think I got it all over my blazer,
which is really bad.

[Kourtney] Kylie's like,
"Get the [bleep] out of my house."

[upbeat music]

-[Kourtney] Khlo?
-[door shuts]

Congrats,

-on finishing your book.
-Thank you.

-I'm so excited for you.
-[giggling]

I feel so sick.

Wait. Are you, like, fully done?

Yeah. I mean…

[Kourtney] I'm gonna start making vichy

while we're talking
because I have to go home.

I'm going on my book tour.

Gonna be gone for two and a half weeks.

[Kourtney] Where's the non-Teflon stuff?

This copper, I think, is not Teflon.

What does it talk about?

[Khloé] Just about,

just 'cause you're going through
a hard time in your life

doesn't mean you have to,
like, break and crumble.

There's so many things to be thankful for

and just, let's turn negatives
into positives.

[Kourtney] When do I get a copy?

[Khloé] I don't know.
It's to the printer now.

Press tour starts November 3rd,
so, I'm assuming soon.

I feel like I started getting so consumed
with all of the negatives in my life

and I started looking at things
in such a negative way

and it was taking its toll on me.

And once I actually refocused myself,

I finally finished my book.

And from writing my book,

it's become so therapeutic,

making me actually live what I'm writing.

I feel like I'm getting back
into the positive

mind-body-soul.

What is that?

-Cream.
-No.

Kourtney, is this milk?

It's milk and cream
is at the top, naturally.

That looks so…

-[Kylie] That is kind of nasty.
-…disgusting.

I only drink almond milk,
so what do I do then?

You don't have cream.

But you should make your own almond milk.

-Oh, really?
-[Kourtney] You should actually

have somebody make it for you.

It takes five minutes.

God, she is wild.

[lively music]

Can't believe Khloé is sick
and missing our pie-making.

I know.

[Kim] A pie is so much easier
to make than I thought.

-If you buy the crust.
-[Kim] Yeah.

You want a cherry?

Or sprinkles?

Sprinkles. Yes.

Extra creamy for this one.

Mom's in for a big surprise.

[Kourtney] Kim and I are doing
a little fun prank on my mom

because she didn't show up
at the communication session

that she set up.

Okay. We're done.

[Kourtney] We all have
communication issues in our family,

so, we are just gonna test her
and really prove to her

that she is a huge part
of the problem herself.

[Kourtney] Did you start decorating?

Not really. I just pulled out
a couple of things.

[Kourtney] Oh, okay.

Hi. Where does this,

-where does this go?
-Okay.

-[Kris] What are you guys doing?
-So…

You, you have an option.

Wait. So, I'm here to do
the communications thing,

so what's all of this?

So, since you missed
the communication thing

last time, you clearly need to know

how to communicate with your children.

You get a choice.

-You get to either…
-A choice?

…sit in that thing and we get to throw

something at that target,

or you can have option B,
which is a surprise.

[Kris] You guys are the ones
who needed the communications session.

I'm fine…

-[Kourtney] No.
-…with how I communicate with people.

We need to communicate together,

so that's why people do, like,

couples therapy
or things like that, or, like,

family therapy, 'cause they need
to know together.

I don't want to have couples therapy
with you guys.

It was meeting that you set up…

[Kourtney] Remember we had
our meeting with Erica.

This was your whole thing. Okay, so pick.

Pick. Which one? Option one, two, or both?

[tense music]

-[Kris] Is it cash-related?
-[Kim] Maybe.

All right, I'll do one of each.

-Go sit down in the special seat.
-[Kris] It's probably throwing up.

-[Kim] You can do both.
-[Kris] Okay, what do you want me to do?

[Kourtney] You sit down.

This is, like, a contraption that…

[Kourtney] How do I put this
when I'm not tall enough?

[Kourtney laughing]
Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. That's [bleep] cold.

That is so mean.

That wasn't…

-That was not very nice.
-[Kourtney] I was just putting it in.

My God.

[Kourtney] Wait, don't stop…

No, I have to go somewhere.

[Kim] Oh, I can't… I'm out of here.

[panting]

-[Kourtney] I have to go somewhere.
-[Kim] Oh, thank God it didn't pop.

-[both laugh]
-Kim, come back.

-We need to do it.
-[Kim] No. She threw it at me.

And she missed.

Okay.

[sniffles]

[Kim] First question…

what is my due date?

December 24th.

-[Kourtney] Nope. Wrong-o.
-[Kim] Wrong.

What?

Uh…

[Kim] Kourtney.

[screams]

Oh, my God.

This is not a fun game.

I don't want to play this anymore.

Okay, wait, what is North's middle name?

South.

[laughing]

[Kris] Okay, that hurt.

Wait, what is North's middle name?

-[Kim] North doesn't have a middle name.
-Oh.

[Kim] Okay, we have one more.

That was so confusing.

[Kris] Really?

Only my kids would put me through

this kind of t*rture
and love it this much.

-[Kim] How many years has DASH been open?
-Seventeen…

Wait, hold on. Six.

[all laugh]

[Kim] Eleven.

What?

-Eleven.
-[Kris] Oh, right. I meant 11.

Okay, I'll go to the next meeting.

But the truth is they're right

and I probably could use a little meeting

about our communication skills.

[Kourtney] Have a nice day.

Wait. You guys, I can't see.

Oh, my gosh.

[Kris] Damn it.

I can't see.

[bleep]

[grunts]

[Khloé] On the next episode…

[all] Happy birthday.

[Kim] Oh, my God, you guys
are all dressed like me.

This month is crazy for birthdays.

This is so intimidating.

We are recording the song
for my mom's birthday party.

[Kourtney] Who's the Beyoncé, guys?

We all know it's me.

Scott has gone to rehab.

I hope he stays and does the treatment.

That's the [bleep] part about life
is we have no guarantees.