11x11 - The Great Kris

[bunniefuu]

[Khloé] Previously on
Keeping Up with the Kardashians…

[Dr. Bradley]
What happened in your last delivery?

[Kim] I had preeclampsia.

You have a higher risk for it to happen

in the next pregnancy,
so we have to watch.

[Kim] To know that I might have
another health issue

really kind of freaks me out.

I'm, like, actually scared.

It's just been a really
hard time, going from,

like, having all of you guys
to having nobody, you know?

[Scott] I just… I just can't do this.

[Khloé] What does that mean,
you "can't do this"?

The note that he sent Khloé was like,

"Tell Bugs I love her
and I can't go on without her."

He said he had no reason to live.

And it was pretty scary.

Scott put himself
in the situation that he's in.

[Kourtney] It's really about him deciding
just what kind of life he wants to live.

It's, like, then do something about it.

[lively music]

[Kim] Cait cannot come to Mom's birthday.

Not that she cannot come,

she physically can't come
'cause she's in New York.

[chuckles]
I was like, "That was so aggressive."

Yeah. You said it, like, in a tone where

you were, like, banning her from coming.

Whatever the great Cait wants.

I want my name to be something like that.

[Kim] The great Cait?

-Khloé Blowy?
-[chuckles]

[Khloé] That wasn't my name
in high school.

That was another Chloe's name
in high school.

Rob told my dad that my nickname
was Khloé Blowy, and I was like,

"That was not me. I'm the fat one.

Who's gonna want blowjobs
from the fat girl?"

[comical music]

Being fat really saved me

from being a whore in life
though, you guys.

[Khloé] Being fat and then being married.

But I respect Lamar,

because he still liked me fat,
which is, like…

I appreciate that.

That's what his hold has been
over you this whole time?

[Khloé] That's a big deal.

When a cool person likes you
at your worst.

[theme music]

[lively music]

-Hello.
-[Khloé] Hi!

[Kim] What is this? Did you put this on?

I don't think I ever used this.

[Kim] Oh, I can't have tomatoes, but--

Why not?

[Kim] My acid reflux.

[Khloé] So, your birthday's coming up.

Kendall's birthday's coming up.

-Mom's birthday, we've got--
-Caitlyn's birthday.

This month is super crazy for birthdays
in the Kardashian household.

This is ridiculous.

What are we doing for your birthday?

-'Cause yours is first.
-Nothing.

Doesn't always have to be
a big deal, you know?

Yeah. I love not a big deal.

You know, I'm very overwhelmed.

Maybe because you work constantly

and you're about
to have your second child?

And, like, the veins on my boobs
just drive me insane.

That's what overwhelms you?

No, whatever overwhelms me,
every night I give North a bottle,

she's like, "Milky, Mom."
And I'm just like,

"Kid, I'll give you whatever you want.
Just go to bed."

[Khloé] Kim is a trooper.

And she definitely pushes herself.

And I know how uncomfortable
pregnancy is for Kim.

And I want to be there
as much as I can for her.

-I need to, like, show him.
-[shushes]

I did that the other night. I went…
[shushing]

-She goes, "No shushing me."
-[laughs]

And I go, "Okay."

Oh, that's amazing.

[bright music]

-Hey!
-[Liz] Hello.

Hi, everybody.

-[Kris] Hello.
-[woman] Hello.

[Kris] Hi.

-I think Heather's just taping for--
-What are they doing?

-Will you do me a huge favor?
-Yeah.

Will you write to Jamie at William Morris?

Yeah. Mm-hm.

And tell her it's, like,
I'm so discombobulated.

And I feel like I can't…

I got to… can't get… keep up with my work.

[gasps]
Hi, sexy!

Don't I seem professional?

-[Kris] Yes, you do.
-During my show?

What… Do you have the sexy voice on?

No, we'll go right in there and I'll…

[Kris in deep voice]
Is that your sexy voice?

Today, I'm here with my good friend
Heather McDonald,

who has this amazing podcast.

And she asked me to be on it,
so I'm here to support.

-I have lots of questions for you.
-Okay.

Well, first coming up is your birthday.

-Well, this is a big birthday.
-Right.

Because I'm gonna be 60,
so my kids are doing something.

-They won't tell me what they're doing.
-Uh-huh.

-Because they're sneaky.
-Yeah.

And I have no time to, like,
I've been busy and then…

-So, you have a big birthday.
-[Kris] Yes.

If your boyfriend, Corey's name
was spelled with a K…

We would be in trouble.

-…would you be married?
-No.

Would you ask him to marry you?

[laughs]
No.

Corey and I have been seeing
each other for about a year.

And it's really great,
but it's really different.

I just want to bring a genuine happiness.

Are you ready for some wine?

I'm ready for some fun.

Cheers.

That's gonna be us in a minute.

-[Kris] Oh, my God!
-Romance is in the air,

-that's how I'm gonna be--
-You're rushing it. You're rushing it.

I'm so used to being married.

[Kris] I just came out
of a 23-year relationship.

I don't really know
how to be a girlfriend.

Now, you guys are going on a year.

It's a lot to wrap
my head around, but then--

-Are you pregnant?
-Absolutely not.

-You think six is enough?
-I think six is fine

for any human being.

Yeah, I'm all good within that department.

[upbeat music]

-[Kim] How are you?
-[Jeff] How are you?

-Good to see you. Hi.
-[Kim] You too.

[Khloé] Wow, this is, like, so official.

-[Mindy] I like it out here.
-[Jeff] It's so official, right?

-[Khloé] It's so serious.
-[Jeff] The transformation.

Did your mom have
a big 50th birthday party?

[Khloé] We've never thrown her
a big party.

-Okay.
-That's why we're going, like…

-Balls to the wall?
-…all out. Yeah.

[Kim] My mom is turning 60,
and that is such a big deal.

My mom does so much for us,

so this is our one chance
to go way over the top

and throw her a huge surprise
for her birthday.

So, we have a whole presentation
for you guys.

We kind of changed
your pool house in there.

-[Khloé] Oh, yeah, cool!
-We're gonna go in

-and show you some goodies.
-Oh, totally.

Let's take you outside.
Show you the transformation.

[Mindy] We kind of covered it all up.

-[Khloé] Ooh, fancy.
-[Mindy] We're in a party!

[Khloé] Are we doing a photo booth
or anything like that?

[Mindy] Yeah, we have that one you like.

I almost feel like these pillows
are too much.

-Yeah, I agree.
-You see them before the couch,

which probably isn't great.

[Kim] Either maybe like
some tonal pillows?

[Mindy] Yeah, just tone on tone.

[Kim] Yeah, I almost feel like
it should be black with black.

No purple.
The flowers should be all white.

-[Jeff] Perfect, okay.
-[Kim] We got to work on a deejay,

and I think we need to work on,
like, a big performer, like--

[Khloé] Okay, like, what rappers?

'Cause I'm good in that category.

[laughter]

My mom has thrown us the most elaborate,
great parties in our entire life.

Let's get your party groove on, kids!

-[screaming]
-Hell of a birthday bash.

[crowd] Happy birthday, Kendall!

[cheering, whooping]

[Kris] Kylie Jenner, happy birthday.

I love you, Kylie.

[Khloé] We can't do this half-ass.

We have to do this really strong.

We need to come correct
or don't come at all.

Can we move it outside
where there's a breeze?

[Khloé] And we have no time.

We literally have no time
to get all this done.

So, yeah, we got to get going.

[Mindy] Okay, the vanity area…

I'm big on bathrooms,
is gonna be exquisite.

I know. I love your bathrooms.

They have everything
when you're at parties.

I'm a bathroom freak, yeah.

-[Khloé] Like, everything.
-[Mindy] Yeah, yeah.

I'm like, "I need hairspray,
a comb, a this.

I need a [bleep] condom."
They're all in there.

-We like to cover it all, yeah.
-[Khloé] Yeah.

[upbeat music]

-[Kris] How'd you find this place?
-[Corey] My friend built it.

[Kris] Oh, really? Cool.

-Hi, gorge!
-Hi.

Oh, Ryan, Khloé.

-Khloé, this is Ryan.
-Hi, how are you?

-Khloé. Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

He's like, "I need to use your car.
I have a surprise for you."

And I'm like, "What are you up to?"
And he goes, "I can't tell you."

And he kept it a secret
this whole time, huh?

-[Kris] Yeah.
-So fun.

[Khloé] Corey asked me
to come meet him and my mom

down at West Coast Customs.
I don't know for what,

but he's been working on
some big surprise for my mom.

[Kris] Wait, is that my car?

[Corey, Ryan] That's your car.

[Kris] Stop.

That doesn't even look like the car.

That's awesome!

That was my white Range Rover.

[Ryan] It's like a brand-new car, right?

[Kris] Just black.

-It's, like, so black.
-[Khloé] Yeah, it's gorgeous.

Did you guys tint…

-[Ryan] Yeah.
-I love it.

-[Ryan] Yeah, I do it on all of our cars.
-[Khloé] Do you want to take it today?

Yeah.

Where's the… Is the showroom right there?

-[Ryan] Yeah, like, he--
-[Corey] He had, like, 20 cars.

I said, "Yo, [bleep] all of that.

I need you to help me make my girl smile."

[Khloé] Aw, that's so nice of you, Corey.

-It's nice of them to do it, too, so cool.
-Yeah, but it was nice of Corey.

-I know!
-Give credit where credit's due.

[Khloé] He's the one who thought of it,
brought it here, surprised you.

[laughter]

-Yay!
-Yay!

-Thanks, babe.
-Yo, yo…

I'm not used to a guy,
first of all, surprising me with anything,

and then to do something so extravagant.

I just…

I sometimes don't know
how to take things like that.

-It's pulling teeth.
-No, it's not.

It's awesome. It looks so good.

So I'm glad you like it.

You did good, Corey.

[lively music]

[Kim] Hi.

-Do I have to sign in here?
-Yes, please.

[Kim] So because I've had
pregnancy issues in the past,

I'm at a specialist's office

who just kind of checks
for everything a little bit deeper

than my gynecologist really can.

-So, how's the baby doing?
-[Kim] Good. A lot of movement.

Okay. Good.

How about weight gain?
How have you done so far with that?

Well, in the last week,
I've gained ten pounds, it says.

I don't think we're too concerned
about that right now.

And for some reason, my feet are huge.

-[Dr. Bradley] Mm-hmm.
-[Kim] Like, my… my ankles are huge.

They were never like this.

But my feet are, like, unbearable.

And a little bit is normal,
but always keep an eye on it.

So, today, focus on
looking at size of… of the baby.

[Dr. Bradley] It'll be interesting to see
how long this little one is.

Yeah.

[Dr. Bradley] Yeah. Yeah.

[mellow music]

So there's the head.
Beautiful profile right here.

[Kim] I was, like, four weeks ahead,
and it had the biggest head, and, like…

Well, so, if we took an overall weight,

-that's 94th percentile.
-[Kim] Okay.

Pushing the envelope there,
but not abnormal.

And long legs and long arms.

So we have proportionate, so…

I think that's just what we're going for.

You know, I think this pregnancy
is way more scary to me

because of the medical issues
I had before,

but the doctor said everything's fine,
and I look really healthy.

And I'm just gonna try to have,
like, a positive attitude

and not really worry about it as much.

I have a more calm vibe
right now, this week.

[Dr. Bradley]
You seem very, very calm now.

-[Kim] Yeah.
-I'm sorry.

-[Kim] So thank you so much.
-Okay. You're welcome.

[upbeat music]

[Penelope] What restaurant we are going?

It's called Blue Jam Cafe.

Think we went there
when they first opened a long time ago.

When I was in your tummy?

No, you were out of my tummy.

You were probably…

I had tiny feet?

Yeah, you had tiny feet.

-[Penelope] You remember…
-[phone chimes]

Uh, here's KoKo.

-Hi.
-[Khloé] Hi.

[Kourtney] How was, um, party planning?

-[Khloé] The planning?
-Yeah.

[Khloé] Um, it's good.
I mean, there's just gonna be

so much more work than I expected.

I mean, normally, Kim is there to, like,

help pick up the pieces
and blah, blah, blah.

But now she is so pregnant,
and you're not this time,

so I'm gonna need, you know,

you to kind of step it up a little bit.

Um… Okay.

[Kourtney]
Kim is a very independent person,

and she isn't one to ask for help,

but with her being so pregnant,

I think she just really needs to relax.

Anything I can do to help, I'll do it.

I'm happy to step in.

I know how important this is.

It's annoying because everybody is acting
like I'm just never involved,

but I'm going to go above
and beyond and make it good.

[Khloé] We haven't even done anything yet,

so, we need to really buckle down

-and figure this out.
-Yeah.

Because before you know it,
it's gonna be her birthday.

Exactly.

[Kourtney] All right, well,
I'm just pulling up for lunch with P.

I will step it up.

I promise, I won't disappoint.

[Khloé] You rarely do, Kourt.

Okay… baby.

[lively music]

[Corey] Hey, what's up, babe?

-[Kris] Hey, babe.
-[Corey] How was your day?

[Kris] Once I get all this stuff
sorted out, I'll be so happy.

I need to talk to you for a minute.

Yeah?

Babe, you've been, like, working so crazy,

and I'm concerned
about your stress levels.

It's one thing to be a workaholic

and make all this success
and all the business,

but if your ass not healthy,
all that [bleep] for zero.

Yeah.

I've been working like this
for the last few decades.

If anyone's gonna be with me,
it kind of has to be on my terms.

Well, do you agree with me?
Because I'm telling you,

we need to relax.

But I can't just stop.

-You know?
-Yeah, I know, but you gotta

take a chill pill and just--

Some days,
I just have to work until it's done,

and then, the travel…

I think it's just the travel
that's k*lling me.

You can work. You can do
all your working you want,

but you're always high tension,
high stress, high this,

-high that, and that's not good.
-Yeah.

I can't find anymore bags.

-Oh, really?
-[assistant] Yeah.

Should we just make piles,

-and then I'll find, like, bags later?
-[Kris] Yeah.

And we have to make sure that…

That my woman is relaxing in between

-all this hard-ass work.
-[chuckles]

So this is gonna go in Khloé's.

-We'll make a pile for Khloé…
-Babe…

-And then, um…
-…are you gonna take this

conversation I had with you seriously?

[Kris] Corey needs to understand
I manage a lot of people,

and he can't change that.

It's a deal-breaker.

[lively music]

-[slaps]
-Ow! Kourtney!

[Kourtney] Yeah.
[chuckles]

I took North and P to ballet today,

and they both told me
they didn't want to go.

-Yeah.
-[Khloé] Yeah.

And then she called me "Mom,"

and then P was like,

"North, you called my mommy 'Mom.'"

And then I go, "She's just pretending."

And then she goes, "I'm just pretending."

Whoever says something,
she just, like, copies it.

Okay, so we're throwing Mom a party.

It's, like, a once in a lifetime,
epic, epic party.

My sisters and I have only
locked down the theme.

[Khloé] We have to think
about the details.

Who's gonna be our deejay?

Are we having performers?

Like, what's an extra ta-da at the party?

She's had, like, the craziest year.

[Khloé] It's almost like her coming out
party slash birthday.

We should screen her
"I love my friends" video at the party.

-Why don't we redo her…
-[Kim] Thirty years later.

Why don't we redo her "I love my friends"?

-We don't have the time.
-[Khloé] Are you joking?

It's, like, five minutes…

[Khloé] Google "I love my friends."
Let's Google it.

When my mom turned 30,
her and my dad made this epic video

honoring and cherishing
all of her friends.

This has been a video that we've cherished
our entire lives, literally.

And how dope would it be to now have
the modern day version?

Like, she will flip.

[Khloé] Who's writing the song?
So now we're changing all the words.

-[Kourtney] Yes, we are.
-Yeah, we have to.

[Khloé] But who's writing it? Kanye?

-[Kim] I will.
-No.

[Kourtney] Instead of "lots of tennis?"

Lots of orgies.

Lots of blow jobs.

I feel like we should take up carpooling,

'cause no one carpools.
Our kids aren't even in school.

-I'm calling Kendall, right now.
-[line ringing]

[Kourtney] Make sure Mom isn't there.

-[Kendall] Sister!
-Sister!

[Khloé] Are you with Mom?

[Kendall] Look who I'm with!

[indistinct chatter]

[Kim] Hey, listen, Kendall.

We're doing this video for Mom
for her 60th birthday.

We're gonna recreate that video.

We need Karl, we need everyone
you can possibly imagine

to just say, "She loves you."

-Will you do that?
-Yes, I'll do it.

-We need you.
-We're gonna send you the reference.

[Khloé] Bye.

-[Kendall] Okay, love you. Bye.
-Love you. Bye.

She's not paying attention to us
right now.

I know, but she will. Trust me.

We all need to contribute to this video.

[Kim] We have to call all of her friends,

we have to find photos,

we have to film things ourselves…

It's such a last minute decision
to do this,

so we're all gonna have
to put in a lot of work.

Do you know how dope this would be

if we actually did something
Dad made for Mom,

-and now we're doing it ourselves?
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

This is a good start, guys.

-[Khloé] You need to get into this.
-I'm gonna do it.

But be into it?

Why wouldn't I?

You talk like this all the time.

-Khloé, my singing is different.
-"Khloé, my singing is different."

Don't make me kick you in the face.

"Don't make me kick you in the face."

[Kim] You guys…

-So, you just got kicked in the face.
-You just have to say it

like normal…
[groans]

-Perfect.
-[Khloé groans]

[upbeat music]

Do you want to sit, so you don't…

[Kim] Yeah, I really do, 'cause my, uh…

body gives out on me.

On that note,

have you heard that Scott
has gone to rehab?

He came here… I just, like,
had no idea he was here.

And he was like,
"Hey, I came by to see your mom."

And, like, we sat and talked
for, like, 30 minutes,

and it was like, he was normal.

So I run into Scott and I had no idea
that he was dropping by.

[Kim] He wants to really get it together

and wants to go to rehab for a long time

and I think that it all sounds amazing.

I just hope that he sticks with it.

Well, he's like, "I'm eight days sober
and I just want to,

you know, really get it together
this time, like, for my kids."

That's good.

Yeah, it was, like, really positive.

I hope he stays and actually,
like, does the treatment.

[Kim] Mm-hmm.

I am surprised
that Scott has gone to rehab,

just because I feel like I was

just hearing he was
on the streets partying.

-Kourt knows, right?
-Yeah.

How does she feel? I haven't…
she hasn't said anything to me--

I think she's, like, been really
distant from him and just, like,

-wants to keep her distance.
-[Khloé] Yeah, she's over it.

[Kim] So I think she'll be,
like, proud of him and, like,

hoping for the best.

-I'm surprised he went.
-[Kim] Yeah.

For 30 days, so hopefully he stays.

He should stay longer than 30 days.
[chuckles]

Do I want to have
a positive outlook on everything

and hope for the best? Yeah.

[Khloé] Scott has gone to rehab
so many times.

So who knows?

This time, he hopefully
will stay and it will work.

But that's the [bleep] part about life,
is we have no guarantees.

Isn't it crazy just to think, like,

God, where will we be in a year?

I can't handle much more,
so there better be

[bleep] fairies and unicorns in a year.

[Khloé] 'Cause I can't handle much more.

I'm gonna go to rehab
just to chill out for a second.

[gloomy music]

[sirens wailing]

[reporter 1] Lamar Odom
in critical condition this morning.

[reporter 2]
Lamar Odom fights for his life

at a Las Vegas hospital.

[reporter 3] Odom is in a coma
and has not woken up or responded.

[music stops abruptly]

[birds chirping]

[Kourtney] Hey, Mom.

[Kris] Hi, honey.

[Kourtney] How was the transfer to LA?

[sighs]
It was like I felt, like…

helpless. It was really crazy.

[Kourtney] Mm-hmm.

[somber music]

[Kris] I'm so overwhelmed
with what's going on with Lamar.

It's heartbreaking…

heartbreaking.

I don't think I've ever felt so powerless,

and it makes me really, really sad.

[Kris] First of all,
we had to find a helicopter

-that was big enough for him.
-[Kourtney] Mm-hmm.

'Cause he's so tall.

Once they secured that,
we took him upstairs, on the roof…

-[Kourtney] Mm-hmm.
-…put him into the helicopter

and then I was sitting in the car,
waiting to hear…

[imitates helicopter rumbling]

You know, when they took off.

And as soon as they went
back up into the air…

-Mm-hm.
-I raced to the airport, took off,

landed before they did.

So I got to Cedars, I met all the doctors,

everyone showed up
in the middle of the night.

You know, we got him settled
and then, um, I went home.

[Kourtney] Yeah.

[Kris] I'm gonna go back this afternoon.

See what Khloé needs.

Take her some fresh clothes.

Hopefully, she'll get her hair washed.

[Kourtney] Yeah.

I feel, like, relieved that he's here.

[Kris] Yeah, I do, too.

You know? I think that Khloé
is less stressed out

because she's here and she can be
at the hospital every day

-and maybe still sleep at home.
-Well, I don't think she was leaving

his side.

She would have never left.

-Right, that's what I'm saying, so…
-Yeah. Yeah.

[Kris] It's better.

Khloé has been spending
every second in the hospital with Lamar,

by his side, and she feels guilty
for needing to leave,

even if it's, you know, to take a shower.

Right now,
they have to stabilize all of his organs.

They want to do another MRI,

they want to make sure
that the dialysis is under control.

Yeah.

'Cause the strokes are,
you know, debilitating,

and they don't know yet how…
how he's gonna…

respond to all of it.

Mm-hm.

But I think just him hearing
our voices and seeing us

and having family around

is healthy and might make a difference.

[bright music]

[indistinct chatter]

[helium hissing]

What's happening here?

[cheerful music]

[Kourtney] It's so exciting.

Even though Kim really
didn't want a big birthday party

because of her being so pregnant

and with everything going on with Lamar,

Kanye still wanted to celebrate her,

so he's throwing this surprise party.

He had the whole movie theater
transformed.

[camera shutter clicks]

[Kendall] I want to be pregnant.

Where do I put this baby bump?

[Kourtney] Kanye asked everybody
to dress like Kim

and put on a fake baby bump
so that she felt more comfortable,

and I think Kim is going to love it.

[Kendall] Dad,
you should be pregnant, too!

[laughs]

[Kris] This is the best idea ever.

[laughter]

[Kris] Are you having twins?

You really look like Kim.

[Allison] Is he… is he, like, conscious?

He's in and out, right now.

But he had dialysis for, like, six hours,

and now that everybody knows where he is,

the phone didn't stop ringing,

so I'm, like, calling the hospital.

"Turn off the phones!
Don't put another call through."

You know?

[inhales deeply]

-Oh, my God.
-[Kris] And so, um…

Khloé hasn't slept in over a week.

She… she did not leave his side one time.

[Allison] She's amazing.

[Kris] I don't… I don't even know
if she's had a shower yet.

-She's just not gonna leave.
-Does he know that she's there?

Yeah. He knows.

-And what does he…
-I looked at him, I said, "Hi."

And he goes, "Hi, Ma."

Oh…

The doctor at the last hospital said,

"He basically came in here dead."

[Allison] Oh, goodness sakes…

The fact that he's alive
is, like, a miracle.

[Kris] A miracle.

[Kylie] Mine's gonna have to go like that.

That's my only option.

[Kylie] Joyce, put this in my back.

-Does this look good?
-[laughter]

Now you like… you like a sister.

[woman] Oh, they're here.

-I just saw their car.
-[Kris] They're here.

They're here. They're here.

[Kourtney] Let's just start singing
when she walks in.

-[Kris] Maybe just do the music.
-[Corey] There they are. There they are.

-Here they are. [shushes]
-I don't think Kim has any idea.

[Kourtney] This was so last minute

that I don't think anybody
really had time to ruin the surprise.

[cheerful music]

[woman] Oh, they're here.

-I just saw their car.
-They're here. They're here.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday Dear Kimberly ♪

[cheering]

[Kim] I told Kanye, my whole family,
I wanted to do nothing for my birthday.

We all have so much going on.

I never get surprised.

Do you like that we're all pregnant?

Oh, my God,
you guys are all dressed like me.

Especially you.
[chuckles]

I thought we were just
gonna go to the movies,

him and I, but he had
my friends there and my family

and had everyone dress up
like me, with a big bump,

so I wouldn't feel as big as I do.

It was just a really relaxing birthday.

[Kris] Look at the food.

[Corey] Happy birthday.

[Kourtney] Are we really watching a movie?

What's up? Good seeing you.

[Caitlyn] How did I do on short notice?

This is very black, and it's very Kim.

Yeah, uh, it definitely is a Kim outfit.

[Caitlyn] Yeah, yeah.

What do you feel like
is a good age to have kids?

-Thirty's a good age.
-[Kylie] Like, twenty five.

Thirty's a good age.

I feel like 30's too late.

[Kylie] Every psychic said
I'm only gonna have two kids.

[Caitlyn] When you have one,
you might as well have two.

Yeah.

And you want your kids close together.
That's why we had you.

[Caitlyn] Might as well have two
so they got somebody to grow up with.

Oh, okay.

-Might as well, why not?
-So I'm just…

Somebody for Kendall
to grow up with. Yeah.

I'm the one to keep Kendall company.

Yeah. If I'm gonna
get to my 30 grandchildren,

you got to have at least three.

You want 30 grandchildren?

Thirty grandchildren,
I think would be perfect.

-Thirty grandkids?
-[Caitlyn] Yeah.

Yeah, I'm happy to call.
I can call as soon as…

I'm in the middle of Kim's
birthday celebration.

No, no, it's okay.
We're just at the theater.

Well, I think that a retainer
is reasonable.

We want him to have the best attorney

if they're gonna try and charge him,

but on the other hand, I don't know
if that decision's been made,

because they came to the hospital room,

and they served a search warrant…

in the middle of, like,
his dialysis treatment.

And so, you know, we said,

"He's having a procedure right now.

You got to talk to Khloé."

Khloé has decided to not
go through with her divorce.

And she can probably call somebody
in the DA's office in Nevada.

She has been by Lamar's side,

and Lamar isn't really in a place

where he can really make
these important decisions,

so I think that it's just
the best decision for Khloé

to make the best
medical decisions for Lamar.

You want anything else?

Uh, hey, I'm talking to you.

What? I'm doing… I'm doing something.

-What, baby?
-I know you're doing something,

I don't give a [bleep] what you're doing.

-Okay.
-Do you need anything?

Want me to get water first,
then deal with the popcorn in a minute?

No, I'm good.

[Corey] Was everything all right
with the other stuff?

From the phone calls?

[Kris] Yeah. Hi.

[Caitlyn] Looks like everybody's
working over here.

-[Kris] I know.
-[Caitlyn] That's no fun.

-Hey, chill out…
-[Caitlyn mutters]

We're just drinking and eating
popcorn and talking to Ena.

-[Kris] You remember Corey.
-Yeah.

-[Corey] You want a drink?
-No.

[Corey] No drink?

-No, not really.
-Eh.

-[Kris] I have a question for you.
-[Caitlyn] Uh-oh.

Remember when you used to have bad knees?

I got one right now.

[Kris] You know why?

'Cause now you're wearing heels.

Well, the instructions
were to come as Kim.

[Kris] Did you bring a pair of,
like, UGGs or something?

-The best you can.
-And she…

You know, a smart girl always
has a pair of UGGs in her car.

I understand. It's a lot of work, honey.

I guarantee as soon as I hit the car,

-these shoes will be off. Yeah.
-[Kris] All right.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like everyone
to head to theater six, please,

which is down the hallway on the right.

[whooping, indistinct chatter]

[Kourtney] Yes, yes.

-I'm gonna wish to be so skinny soon.
-[laughter]

Yes, something meaningful to the world.

[laughing]

Do I wish that my baby is so cute?

I'll take a bad delivery
for an extra gorgeous baby,

-I'm not gonna lie.
-[laughing]

[Kourtney] Don't say that.

[camera shutter clicking]

[woman] Yeah, watch your hair.

[cheering and applause]

Each tier was a different wish.

[upbeat music]

[Kim] It's so sunny.

[Kourtney] So, remaking
Mom's song for the video.

You don't want to sing on it, right?

We have a week.

[Kim] We've all been so stressed,

and we were gonna cancel my mom's party,

but it's her 60th birthday,

and deep down, I know Lamar
would want us to have this party.

So we're gonna get back to planning it
and just make it a really exciting time.

[line ringing]

-[Kendall] Hey, what's up?
-Hey, Kenny.

-Wait, are you with Mom?
-No.

Okay, we're remaking the video
from "I love my friends."

-Yeah, no, I know.
-[Kourtney] Okay,

so we have to record it in a studio.

-Like, sing the song?
-Yeah.

Oh, my God.

[Kourtney] Do you have plans
tomorrow night?

No. No, I don't.

[Kourtney] Okay, let's get it all done
tomorrow night.

Okay.

That'll be fun. Studio hoes.

I know. Like, we are the studio.

[Kourtney] We are the studio and the hoes.

[Kendall chuckles]
Okay, love you guys.

Okay. Love you. Bye.

[Kourtney]
We also need to change the words.

-Do you want to just start this now?
-Yeah.

Okay, so "riding down the highway."

[exhales deeply]

Um…

Then what does it say?

"We're big on…"

"We're big on…"

[pensive music]

[Kourtney] "We're big on…"

I don't know.

I wish, like, we could
get Kanye to help us.

[Kim] This video just gives me anxiety.

"Riding down the highway
with her friends at her side."

Or should I say,
"With her kids by her side"?

And we just make it about us.

Well, they're all coming to the party.

There's, like, hundreds of people
coming to this party.

That's who we're, like, singing to.

We're singing it to all the friends
at the party, like, "She loves you."

"She loves you."

Yeah, I guess.

[upbeat music]

-Hey, what's up, baby?
-[Kris] Hey, babe.

-How you doing?
-[Kris] What's going on?

I know it's the middle of the day,

but remember when I came to you
about the situation

of me worrying about your stress levels

and you relaxing and everything?

-[Kris] Mm-hmm.
-Well, today you've been summoned…

by your lovely man to [bleep] relax.

We're taking a one-two punch.

-A time out.
-A one-two punch?

That sounds violent.

Yeah, but we punching at love
and relaxing.

So you're going to take

-a time out.
-Where are we gonna relax?

-A time out?
-Don't worry. Hey.

-For how long, babe?
-Ooh!

Whoopsy.

-Wait, a time out for how long?
-Now, now, it's not…

-For how long?
-Hey, what's more important,

your life, your wellbeing,

or whatever the [bleep]
this schedule is talking about?

After everything
that's going on with Lamar,

Corey has been amazing and supportive.

I'm so used to taking care
of everybody else.

I just didn't know what it felt like

for somebody else to take
really great care of me.

I never want to take that for granted.

All right, so where are we going?

Don't worry,
just bring your little fine ass.

-[Kris] Where's my keys?
-[Corey] Come on and get in the car.

We got to go, we're losing sun.

I'll carry this for you,
I'll carry your other purse for you.

[Kris] I'm not helpless.

[upbeat music]

This picture that I'm posting,
in the background,

there's, like, a bottle of my breast milk.

[chuckles]

-Ooh.
-[Kourtney] How was rehab?

-[Kim] It was really good.
-Is it far?

Yeah, it's, like, kind of, like,
where, like, Caitlyn's house is.

And it's nice, like,
he has a really pretty view,

-and it's, like, a nice place.
-[Kourtney] Mm-hmm.

I don't think Kourtney is really ready
to see Scott at this point.

And that's okay, she doesn't have to be.

[Kim] She should definitely do
whatever works for her.

You know, she has to also
make herself happy

and kind of take care of herself.

The kids were, like,
so excited to see him.

-[Kourtney] Mm-hmm.
-[Kim] They went into his room.

He wanted to show them his room.

The wall had a picture of, like,
Reign, Mason, and P on there.

Mason was, like, so excited
to see a picture of himself.

Like, "Daddy, that's me!"

-That's good.
-[Kim] Yeah, it was, like, fun.

I am happy and thankful that Kim
took the kids to see Scott.

I think it was good for all of them.

-[Kim] He seemed great.
-[Kourtney] Mm-hmm.

And here he was like,
"Hey, guys, what's up?"

Like, he was, like,
so much more excited and into it.

-Just, like, happy about life?
-Yeah.

Hmm…

He sent me an email today.

And just said, "Like, I'd love
to see you if you would be into

participating in some of the therapy"
or something.

-Mm-hmm.
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

So I haven't responded, but…

[slow tense music]

I'm really proud of Scott
for going to rehab

and making an effort to get help.

But I'm just not ready to go visit.

I hope that after 30 days

that he'll feel good and,
like, want to stay.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

[calm music]

Babe, how about this?

It's not bad for a lunch break, right?

I like this lunch break.

All right, here we go
with a little cold bubbly

for the love of my life.

Thanks, babe.

A toast to great health, love.

We got women rubbing,

'cause ain't no man touching you.

[laughs]

[tranquil music]

[Corey] Imagine people just come in here
and they stink from, like, all day,

and then y'all have to rub them
and [bleep], put more oil…

-[Kris laughs]
-…on top of their stink.

-[masseuse] It's happened before.
-[Corey] I know it.

Typically I would never,
ever take any time off

in the middle of the day,

especially to go someplace
and get a massage,

but I'm really glad I did.

Feels really good.

So you're relaxed and happy.

-[Kris] Mm.
-We're winding down

to the end of the year.

I know that it's been a rough go for you.

I'll be kind of excited when it's over.

[Corey] You've been
taking care of everybody,

being there for everybody,
and you've just been so great,

but it's only so much you can give…

before you take all your own away.

With this new coming year,
I really want you to…

focus on yourself sometimes, too.

At first, I was a little overwhelmed,

but Corey's a great guy

and I like spending time with him.

Okay, I'll work on that.

-That's, that's a deal?
-Deal.

Pinky swear.

-[smooches]
-Mm-hmm.

[Kris] I realized I need to take the time

to spend with the people
that I really love

and the people that really love me.

[Kris] You take that off?

Oh, it's the best part.

-[Corey] I don't like the way it looks.
-Well, just close your eyes.

And then eat it.

I like to see what I like.

That's why when I kiss you,
you know how my eyes be open?

It's because I like what I'm kissing.

Your eyes aren't always open.

-Most of the time they are.
-[Kris] They are?

Yeah, my eyes are open when I kiss you.

[laughs]

[lively music]

-[Kim] Hello.
-Hello, welcome.

[Kim] Thank you.

Did you see the video?

-I did, I did, yeah.
-[Kim] Of what we're copying,

yeah, so you don't just think we're nuts.

-Thirty years ago, is that right?
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

-Oh, God.
-[Kourtney] Yeah, it's crazy.

Today we are recording the song
for my mom's 60th birthday party,

but I cannot wait for my mom
to see our video

and to see what other surprises
we have for her.

-Get ready, Kenny.
-[Kendall] Oh, we made up the new lyrics?

Who… Who wrote this?

Kim and I kind of, like,
put it into place.

Do you want to sit down and sing with us?

[Kourtney] Kim's, like, too shy to sing.

-Are we all singing together on the track?
-No, I mean, I'll sing if we,

like, all do it together.

Ideally, if you can trade some lines,
that be great.

-[Kendall] Who else is coming? Is Kylie--
-Kylie, yeah.

The only person who's not here is Khloé.

What do you think?

-[Kim] Hmm?
-[Kourtney] Khloé.

Do you think we don't even
need her to come?

[Kourtney] We really haven't been
telling her what we're doing,

because we just want her
to be able to focus on Lamar,

and not have to worry about anything to do

with my mom's party or with this video,

because we've got it under control.

[Kourtney]
I just hope that she doesn't get upset.

[upbeat music]

[Kourtney] Do you want me
to hold your hand?

Yeah. This is so intimidating.

[Kylie] Let me join in.

[Kourtney] Get ready!

Oh, God. I hate hearing myself.

I know. I hate hearing myself, too.

[Scott F.] All right,
so get close to your microphones

if you can, that be great.

[clears throat]

[Scott F.] So, um,
since there's four of us now,

should we start from the top there?

[Kim] Um, there's a couple--
Hold on, it says about turning 60.

It says,
"She's the last to reach that stop."

We're gonna change it to
"She's the first to reach that stop."

And then should we master the first part
all of us together

so we get that,
and then we start doing this?

Yeah, luckily with all of us here,

if one stops for a second, it's fine.

Exactly, but you just
got to be quiet, so, like,

if you can't get it and you need to stop,

just, like ba… Don't laugh,

just back off and, like, let it happen.

[Kendall] By the way, we all sound
really good together

and should consider this.

We should consider this as a real job.

[Kim] Fourth Harmony.

[Kendall] No, we get Khloé.
We need Khloé, too.

[Kim] I feel so bad for Khloé.

I mean, she was so excited
about this song.

What if we were a group?

And what if it was, like, a group of five

really super average singers?

Like, you know
how there's usually one really,

one that sings so good,
but we're just, like,

all really bad singers?

-[Kendall] We sound good together.
-Like, who's the Beyoncé, guys?

We all know it's me.

-[Kylie] I feel like you think it's you.
-[Kendall] She enjoys it the most.

Khloé's the deep, down and dirty voice.

Khloé has just been trying
to be at the hospital

as much as she can.

[Kim] And this song,
you know, is so minimal

compared to what she's going through,

but I know she's, like,
having a major case of FOMO.

[all] She loves you guys!

[whooping]

-[laughter]
-[Kourtney] We're so good.

Okay, does Kourtney want to sing a solo?

'Cause it seems like
that's what she wants to do.

[Kourtney] No, but I'm saying
is this even gonna sound good?

[Kim] Yes, it's gonna sound good.

[Kylie] It also doesn't need
to sound like

-real singers.
-[Kim] Yeah, it's so funny.

[Kourtney] Should we have done
that one part one more time?

[Kylie] Are we gonna listen
to it or something?

-[Scott F.] Sure.
-[Kourtney] I think we should.

[Scott F.] Here it comes.

[laughs]
So funny.

We sound horrendous altogether.

[Kourtney] I think Kim and I have
really similar voices.

And Kendall and Kylie,

theirs are just, like, deeper than ours.

[indistinct chattering]

I don't know. We're not like
a harmony, like, singing group.

Bye, thank you!

[Scott F.] All right,
want to check it out…

[Kourtney] It sounds so much better
when you and I are singing it.

[Kim] So let's just do
the whole thing just you and me.

[Kourtney laughs]
I swear to God we need to.

-[Scott F. laughs]
-I'm telling you.

That's what I was telling you.

Ours is, like, a hundred times better.

[Kourtney laughing]
That's what I told you!

That's why.

Let's resing it.

[laughter]

[Kourtney] I think there's no option.

Kim and I have to rerecord this song,

because it just sounds awful.

-[Kim] And don't tell anyone.
-[laughter]

[Kim] I almost feel bad, but, like,
Khloé won't have to feel guilty.

She's not the only one
that isn't a part of this song.

[Kourtney] We could've had

Kendall and Kylie do one verse together,

because I bet their voices
sound more alike.

[Kim] No, because then
the whole song is gonna be like…

[vocalizes in high tone]
And then…

[vocalizes in low note]

-'Cause they really have manly voices.
-[laughs]

-Crazy. Who knew?
-[chuckles]

[Kim] On the next episode…

Cheers, baby!

-Happy birthday!
-Incredible!

My mom has never had a party
be all about her.

This is my first time having
alcohol in four weeks.

Kris [bleep] Jenner.

[Khloé] You're about to get
your panties moist, girl.

As if we don't…
[cries]

I just, like,
don't know what to do about T.

[sniffles]

She's working at Victoria's Secret.

The attention is not gonna
be on you for one second.

You can't come!