01x07 - Mooseton We Have A Problem/In Space No One Can Hear You Squirrel!

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR:When we last sawRocky and Bullwinkle,

our heroes wantedto journey to space

to have a super cool storyto tell at their upcomingreunion at Wossamatta U.

Then they accidentally stolea rocket and crash-landed

on what they thought was Mars

but was actuallya desert in Nevada.

Meanwhile, Boris and Natashawere hoping to steala super satellite

for Fearless Leader’s latestplot to take over the world.

And if that wasn’t enough,a mysterious creaturewas following our heroes.

Oh, and thatmysterious creature?

Mm. It was a space alien.

Bum-bum-bum.

So we now find our heroeshaving a close encounterof the terrifying kind!

An actual alien was in my suitcase, Rock.

You know what this means?

He’s seen your underwear?

No! Well, yes,

but we gotta adopt this little guy

and take him to our reunion

and enchant everyone with the wild and heartwarming tales

of raising our son from outer space.

(GURGLING)

Okay, that’s a lot to process.

Think about it, co-alien-parent of mine.

Since we never made it to space,

we’ll bring space to the reunion.

But just look at that thing.

Well, I’m not much to look at either,

but I don’t bite.

Now. Go adopt him.

(STARTLED GRUNT)

(SNARLING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

NARRATOR:Great green eyeballs!

Are you seeingwhat I'm seeing?

Rocky!

Not only have we found an alien,

it has alien powers.

We’re gonna be kings of the reunion.

But we have to get down first.

Huh?

(YELLING, GRUNTING)

Okay. Everyone knows the first rule of being a good alien parent

is making sure it’s well-fed.

Now go feed it.

(NERVOUS CHUCKLE) Hey, alien.

Want a snack?

Rocky!

Yeah, we’re not adopting that thing.

But look, Rock. He just wanted to eat the to-go box.

(GULPS)

(BURPS)

(BABBLING)

It’s trying to tell us something.

Yes. It's saying,

"Please adopt me

"and take me to your reunion."

It didn’t say that.

Yes, it did. No, it didn’t.

Yes, it did. No, it didn’t.

(CONTINUE ARGUING) NARRATOR:Oh, boy, this is going to take a while.

Cue the opening credits.

(SCI-FI THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

When we last left our heroes...

No, it didn’t. Yes, it did.

NARRATOR:...they werepretty much doing this.

Look, what’s important is now we’re now both responsible

for an adorable and sometimes terrifying alien.

And we’re bestest friends and you have to agree.

(ALIEN GURGLES)

(BURPS)

I guess he is kinda cute.

(BURPS)

I wonder where he came from.

(BABBLES)

Ooh! Sand movie.

And it’s in -D.

NARRATOR:And so,with a sandy visual aid,

the alien explained howhe crash-landedin Frostbite Falls,

and became separatedfrom his parents,

and was nowtrying to find them.

Oh, man, Rock. Look at that face.

(BURPS)

Bullwinkle, as his Earth parents we have a responsibility

to help him find his space parents.

Right! And the place to find lost alien parents is...

What are you doing?

Wait for it.

NARRATOR:And that’s whenRocky and Bullwinkle realized

the first place to lookfor alien parents

is where they were separatedfrom their alien son.

Frostbite Falls!

See?

NARRATOR:So, as Rockyand Bullwinkle

set out on their alienroad trip backto Frostbite Falls,

our evil villains,Boris and Natasha

were walking down the roadlooking like aliens.

Is long story.

NARRATOR:I’ll take a cr*ck at it!

(CLEARS THROAT)Earlier that day,

they were trapped insideRafi Tusk’s rocket

about to be pummeledby a mob of bikers,cops and old ladies.

Desperate to escape,they pressed the cockpit’sejector button.

Flinging them high into the airand into the Deep Space Diner.

And with quick-thinking,

our fearsome foesdisguised themselves

as alien burger employeesand escaped undetected.

Then Boris went backfor a burger,

but still escaped undetected.

Yah, that’s pretty much how it went down.

When Fearless Leader finds out we didn’t get Super Satellite,

he’ll k*ll us!

No, just you.

Because I’m going into hiding, dahlink.

I already picked out a new identity.

Say hello to, "Renee Le Lovely."

New identities?

Perfect.

And I’ll be Bruce

Handsomestein.

"Handsomestein?" (LAUGHS)

You’ve got face only mother could love.

Ha-ha, joke’s on you.

My mother told me I was ugly all the time.

And look. Here comes our ride out of here.

Watch this.

(CHUCKLES) Bruce Handsomestein, baby.

(GRUNTING)

BOUDREAUX: Wakey-wakey, friends.

(GASPING)

Ugh, the interrogation light’s too much.

Turn 'em all on.

BORIS: Who are you?

My name is Colonel Boudreaux.

Eccentric billionaire and collector of all things exotic.

Like... the gigantic seahorse.

The Pandaroo.

And the rare South American casual penguin.

That penguin is so cool.

Very fascinating, freaky man,

but, uh, what does this have to do with us?

For years, I’ve filled my private zoo

with animals from all over this world,

but now I want a zoo that’s out of this world!

So I’ve been using my Alien Findifier

to track an alien all the way from Frostbite Falls.

But lucky me, I found two.

Wait, you think we’re aliens from Frostbite Falls?

No. We look like this because we were ejected

from rocket stolen by Moose and Squirrel,

and landed by space-themed diner.

Then put on disguises to escape bikers, cops, and old ladies.

Oldest excuse in the book, Alien.

Set a course for my alien zoo.

Mission accomplished.

NARRATOR:Missionnot accomplished,

because the actual alienwas with Rocky and Bullwinkleheaded to Frostbite Falls.

According to this Mommy Blog,

to be good parents, you need to protect your child,

feed it, and give it a name that’s both empowering

and doesn’t rhyme with "fart."

Makes sense. Floyd it is.

I like Carl.

Hmm. Let’s give him both names.

Flarl?

Flarl? That’s not empowering.

Cloyd!

See, he likes it.

And you can’t rhyme that with "fart."

Cloyd it is!

Hey, Rock, what does Mommy Blog

say about using your newly adopted alien child’s powers

to cr*ck open a water park that’s been closed for the season?

Well, it doesn’t say, "Don’t do it."

NARRATOR:Then using hisfreaky green alien eyes,

Cloyd opened up the gatesand got the waterrides water rolling.

Like that loggy one.

And that soggy one.

Then cranked up the number onemontage song of the summer.

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Jump jump, jump jump

(SCREAMING)

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Jump jump, jump jump Again! Again! Again!

Again! Again! Again!♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Jump jump, jump jump

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Jump jump, jump jump

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Jump jump, jump jump

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Jump jump, jump jump

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Jump jump, jump jump

♪ Jump like a frog does... ♪

I think he had a really good day.

And I think he really likes that song.

BOTH: We’re really good alien parents.

NARRATOR:Oh, man,what an annoying,repetitive song.

I love it.

Meanwhile, back in the van,

Boris and Natasha were tryingto escape the annoying Colonel.

Let us go! We’re not aliens!

Hush.

I can barely hear the crazy billionaire voice inside my head

that tells me to build alien zoos.

(GASPS) Wait. There it is.

What the...

"Made in Taiwan."

As in "Taiwan," Earth?

What? You two aren’t aliens!

BOTH: No!

Oh, how did my Alien Findifier miss this?

Uh, because there’s no such thing as "aliens."

Oh, yeah?

Then how do you explain this image from Frostbite Falls?

BOTH: Huh?

Or this one.

Taken at the diner, right near where I picked you up.

Aliens are real all right,

and they have powers you wouldn’t believe.

Eh, would you say more powerful than

perhaps a Super Satellite?

Uh, duh. Way more powerful.

If you were to give this alien to,

like, a bad guy, could he use it to...

uh, I don’t know, take over the world?

I guess, but it’s going in my zoo. So...

(SHRIEKS, GRUNTS)

And there he is, at Moist Rapids.

It's Moose and Squirrel.

What? You two are still here?

Bye, "not aliens!"

(GRUNTING)

Natasha, we have to get that alien for Fearless Leader.

Way ahead of you.

Is this good idea?

Ugh, maybe not.

NARRATOR:While Borisand Natasha were grapplingwith their new alien quest,

Rocky and Bullwinkle weregrappling with the challenges

of getting an alien adolescentback to his alien parents.

I think Cloyd might be thirsty.

What makes you say that?

(GASPING)

You might have a point.

I bet they have drinks at the rest stop.

NARRATOR:And so,completely ignoring

the perfectly good paved roadright next to them,

Rocky and Bullwinklemade a pit stop.

Okay, but we have to keep a low profile.

If someone sees we have an alien,

it could cause a panic.

And they’ll take him away from us

and do all kinds of crazy experiments on him.

And we’ll never get him back to his parents!

Low-profile! Got it!

Think this'll work?

Oh, yeah. Who would ever notice a flying squirrel,

a talking moose, and that.

Get him something healthy.

Nothing with sugar,

we don’t want him overstimulated.

(GULPING)

(TEETH CHATTERING)

Aah! You got him a soda?

No. I got him five.

He was really thirsty, Rock.

But don’t worry, it hasn’t affected him at all. See?

Hokey smokes.

Sugar rush!

(GRUNTING)

(BABBLING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(HORN HONKING)

(DIALING)

(INDISTINCT)

Is this still keeping a low-profile? Nope.

NARRATOR:Oh, no.Floating cars?

Screaming people?

Action news vans!

How will our heroesget out of this one?

We’ll find out after a messagefrom our sponsor.

MALE ANNOUNCER:Moist rapids! Moist rapids!

Wanna b*at the heat?

Wanna have some fun?

Then come splash it up

at central Nevada’s eighthmost popular water park!

We’ve got the Wet Monster!

The Drippy Drop!

And the Lazy River!

So lazy.

Open days a week, five days a year!

Except for holidays,weekends and the followingblackout dates.

Moist Rapids!Moist Rapids! Moist Rapids!

NARRATOR:And we’re back!

After Cloyd levitatedevery car, vending machineand rest stopper,

Rocky and Bullwinklewere on the run

from cops, news helicopters,news vans and a news t*nk!

Faster, Bullwinkle,

we gotta get Cloyd away from all these people!

I’m trying, Rock,

but this buggy is solar-powered.

The fastest it can go is...

eleven miles an hour?

Can I get a statement from the alien?

It’s no use! They’re gaining on us!

We gotta get Cloyd away from all of these people,

or he’ll never get back to his real parents!

NARRATOR:And then, sensinghis earth friends' desperation,

Cloyd took mattersinto his own alien hands.

Or should I say,his own alien mouth.

(DEEP INHALE)

BOTH: Yeah!

That’s our boy!

NARRATOR:And as our heroesrocketed away from danger,

little did they knowthat close by,

more danger wasdriving their way.

♪ Jump like a frog does... ♪

I can’t remember where I found you two

but ooh, doggy, am I glad I did.

FEMALE RADIO ANNOUNCER:We interrupt this all-day

"Jump Like a Frog Does"rock-block withthis breaking news.

Shush. It’s the news.

A mysterious space creaturehas been sighted

at a rest stopnear state road .

Authorities have lostvisual contactafter the alien sighting.

Ooh, that means they’re right up ahead.

Accelerando!

NARRATOR:And so Boudreauxand his team "accelerando-ed"

after that alien unawarethey were carryinga few extra passengers

who were afterthat very same alien.

Boris, alien is just up the road.

Fearless Leader will be so happy. (CELLPHONE RINGS)

BORIS: He does not look happy.

Let me do the talking.

Yoo-hoo, update time.

I assume you havethe Super Satellite.

Uh, well,not exactly,your Fearlessness.

What?

But, we’ve come up withan even better evil plan.

Tell me more.But it better be evil!

Well, we’re working on trail of alien with amazing...

Posture!Powers.

Once we capture it, you can use it to...

Impressyour friends.

Use powersto take over world!

Hmm, use a super-powered aliento take over the world.

I like it, especially the partabout its good posture.

Very well, proceed.

But hurry!

Perfect. Now we just let tiny idiot drive us right to alien.

Right. And we sit back and enjoy the ride.

Ooh, I found a shortcut.

BOUDREAUX: Take Bumpy Lumpy Pass.

BOTH: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

(BOTH CONTINUE GROANING)

Sounds like the engine’s knocking.

Step on the gas to flush the system.

BOTH: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

BOUDREAUX: Ooh! That’s what Boudreaux likes.

NARRATOR: So as Borisand Natasha hit the roadover and over and over,

our heroes founda place to lay low.

Okay, we should be safe here.

As long as we stay quiet and make sure not to... (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

Bullwinkle, what are you doing?

♪ Jump like a frog does... ♪ Uh, it’s called being a good parent?

He loves this song.

And you think I don’t?

But we have to keep a low profile

till we get Cloyd back to Frostbite Falls

and find his alien parents.

Right. Because that’s what good Earth parents do.

You’re safe with us, Cloyd.

We won’t take our eyes off you for one second.

We’ll watch you like a hawk.

Like a hawk with - vision.

NARRATOR:As Rockyand Bullwinkle babbled,

Cloyd noticed some curiouslyCloyd-shaped shadowspassing by the window.

Like a hawk with eyes in the back of its head which are also laser eyes.

That’s right, Cloyd.

As long as you’re under our watchful, laser hawk eyes,

you’ll be A-oh...

A-oh, no! Where is he?

We gotta find him before somebody sees him!

Or worse. Before he finds a soda!

NARRATOR:Oh, no. If Cloydgets another sugar rush,

the authorities, news vansand news tanks

will surely rush backto capture him.

(SCREAMING)

Uh, this looks weird, doesn’t it?

Eh. I’ve seen weirder.

I assume you’re here for the convention.

Ah, yes, the convention, yes, exactly. Right. Convention, uh-huh.

BOTH: What convention?

TheQwerf Convention?"Qwerf?"

Where every year, super fans gather to celebrateQwerf,

the classic 's sitcom about an alien

who crash lands on earth and gets a job at a big city newspaper.

I honestly don’t remember that show.

That’s why everyone’s in thoseQwerf costumes,

like your friend getting into the elevator.

(SCREAMING)

BOTH: We’re bad alien parents!

He must be in that convention hall!

Ah, good, we’ll just open these doors and then easily find him.

(GASPING)

Uh. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

Uh, did I say "easily?"

Because I meant, "Split up!"

NARRATOR:Whoa! Finding Cloydis gonna be like findinga needle in a Qwerfstack.

Meanwhile, inBoudreaux’s van...

The Findifier! It foundified something!

Stop the van.

It’s close.

I can feel it.

Get me my grab-i-fier.

Time to get my alien zoo its main attraction.

Plan worked perfectly.

Quick, we must find alien before Colonel Creep show.

Roll out.

(GROANING)

Cloyd? Cloyd?

Cloyd? Cloyd?

NARRATOR:And so,as desperation sank in,

Rocky and Bullwinklerealized it was timefor desperate measures.

I apologize in advance for this.

Hey.

Sorry, I’m just looking for my friend.

If anyone here had friends,

they wouldn’t be at aQwerf convention.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Qwerf! Qwerf Qwerf Qwerf!

(GASPS) Cloyd!

Think it's funny to pull offQwerf costumes, buddy?

How about we pull off your ridiculous moose costume?

(SCREAMING)

NARRATOR:Well, that’ll hauntmy dreams forever.

Meanwhile, the conventionfull of weirdos wasabout to get weirder...

Dang it, it’s one of those goofyQwerf conventions.

Luckily I have this.

That way.

NARRATOR:And thenit got even weirder.

How are we supposed to find real alien in room full of fake aliens?

Look, it’s Moose and Squirrel.

Where they are, alien is sure to be close by.

Rocky, is that really you?

Or are you just a character from an old TV show?

A little of both.

And we’re the worst alien finders ever.

We’re never gonna find Cloyd!

Man, I miss that little green guy so much.

(SOBBING) What I wouldn’t give to sing,

"Jump Like a Frog Does"

with him just one more time.

(GASPS) That’s it!

I gotta get the moon-buggy!

And crash through the wall!

(CROAKING)

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Jump jump, jump jump

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Jump jump, jump jump

BOTH: There he is!

♪ Jump jump, jump jump... ♪

BOTH: Cloyd!

Gotcha!

(SCREAMING)

No. We gotcha!

No! (SCREAMING)

Let go!

We’re finding his alien parents!

You let go! He's going to be alien w*apon.

BOTH: Cloyd!

BOTH: Alien!

Grab alien and let’s go.

Hey! This is just like season three, episode nine

whenQwerf was abducted by the rival newspaper!

Shut it, Qwerfie!

Come on, Rock. They’re getting away!

Quick, we take Colonel Cuckoo’s weirdo-mobile.

They stole my weirdo-mobile!

Get back here with my alien!

I can't believe we lost Cloyd.

But we'll find him, and then we’ll find his parents.

Right, Rock? Rock?

Uh, I feel kind of funny.

Oh, my gosh!

I never noticed what beautiful green eyes you have.

NARRATOR:Uh,someone’s missing the obvious.

I’d say, Rocky’s eyes aremore of a "Cloyd color."

Will our heroes save Cloyd

before Boris and Natashacan get him to Fearless Leader?

Will Colonel Boudreauxreach him first?

And seriously,what’s up with Rocky?

Find out on our nextexciting episode

UF-Oh, No!

or Squirrel, Interrupted.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)