01x08 - U.F.-Oh No!/Squirrel, Interrupted

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: Previously on The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle...

our heroes tried desperately to go to outer space

so they could look cool at their Wossamatta U reunion.

They failed miserably.

But they did make friends

with a young lost alien named Cloyd... (BELCHES)

...which did make them cool.

See? But not cool were super spies Boris and Natasha,

who alien-napped Cloyd

so Fearless Leader could use his powers to take over the world.

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER) NARRATOR: But little did they know,

Cloyd transferred his super mega alien space powers to Rocky,

who was so not ready for that.

Oh, man, I wish someone would give me powers.

That would be so cool.

So now we resume our story here at...

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

That place looks scary.

I don't wanna resume our story there.

Wait, you want to?

Okay, fine, but don't come crying to me if you get scared.

Is he ever going to turn around?

He is waiting for just the right dramatic moment.

Oh, okay.

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

Ooh, I love it when he does that.

NARRATOR: I don't.

Show me my new totally-rule-the-world super w*apon.

Ta-da!

It's so freaky.

I love it.

Now tell me all the ways I can use the green peanut to rule the world.

Well, you can sh**t big, uh, boomy powers from his hands.

(IMITATES expl*si*n)

He can float, like, heavy stuff with his mind thing.

(IMITATING WHIRRING SOUND)

Ooh, and you can use his eye-blast ray powers for super w*apon.

(IMITATING g*nshots) (IMITATING MACHINERY)

Hmm, you know what this calls for?

A five-second-I'm-gonna- rule-the-world dance party!

(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

NARRATOR: Oh, that's a great b*at.

But that's a sad little alien.

Hang in there, buddy,

because I'm sure Rocky and Bullwinkle are on their way to save the day.

Yeah, I'm gonna need a minute here,

'cause I kinda have to deal with this first.

See?

NARRATOR: Ooh, this is getting super spacey.

So let's roll our super-spacey show open.

Sure, let's do that.

(SCI-FI THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

NARRATOR: We now resume our spaced-out story

as Bullwinkle tried to get Rocky under control.

BULLWINKLE: Deep breath. Deep breath.

Whoa. Deep breath.

Uh, Bullwinkle, is that you?

Yes.

Rocky, I said take deep breaths!

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Perfect. (SIGHS)

Now, how long have you had these terrifying alien powers?

Since right after Cloyd pizzapped me at the convention.

You're sure it wasn't anything your mother did?

Bullwinkle!

Cloyd must have transferred his powers to me

once he heard those evil spies were gonna use them for evil purposes.

Pretty sure it was your mom.

Bullwinkle, I love my mom and my mom loves me.

I think we should move on.

Now if you've got Cloyd's floaty powers,

do you think you have any other alien powers that can help us find Cloyd?

Stop pressuring me, you're worse than my mom and...

What's wrong, Rock?

I'm having a vision.

I see Pottsylvania.

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER) ROCKY: I see that evil Fearless Leader guy

And he has Cloyd.

Now I see a dangerous shark t*nk.

Now I see you eating a sunday.

Yum.

And now I see a huge robot space battle.

Sweet mother of moose.

Rocky, you can see the future!

Now tell me more about that sunday.

No time, Bullwinkle,

'cause now we know where Cloyd is.

We have to get to Pottsylvania and rescue him.

Of course.

Hang on, little buddy, we're coming.

So was the sunday vanilla or chocolate?

NARRATOR: It was vanilla!

But it did have tasty chocolate syrup.

Meanwhile, in Pottsylvania,

the first part of Rocky's prophecy came true.

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

Leaders of the world,

as you can see,

I have in my possession an alien from outer space.

And I shall unleash his crazy alien powers upon you

unless you surrender control of the entire world to me.

What does it do?

Green alien, do the exploding things with your hands,

and the laser things with your eyes.

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

Bloop. (GROANS)

(LAUGHING)

This green thing is powerful and I will call you back.

Why isn't this working?

Da, because alien brain not smart and good like us.

Is, because...

Uh, what we talking about?

Silence!

Now, fix my alien,

or I'll fix you with the shark t*nk of doom.

Hey. What's up?

Uh, where is the doom?

Look, I can't afford real sharks right now, okay?

But trust me, my man-sharks are very nasty.

Get this alien to use his powerful powers for evil

so I can rule the world!

Oh, and get me an ice cream sunday.

It's my cheat day.

NARRATOR: And so, as Boris and Natasha

set off to get Cloyd to do super evil stuff for Fearless Leader,

Rocky and Bullwinkle worked on finding a way to get to Pottsylvania

to save Cloyd from Fearless Leader.

I know how to get there.

We'll use your Cloyd powers to rescue Cloyd.

Now, Cloyd must have given you powers you don't even know about.

So focus on Pottsylvania,

and if you have teleportation powers, you can get us there.

I'll try.

And don't stop trying till we get there.

(EFFORT GRUNTING)

NARRATOR: So, as Rocky tried to teleport...

Try harder, Rock.

NARRATOR: ...he sh*t eye-lasers instead.

You can stop now.

I can't!

Where are you, Bullwinkle?

Not over here. (GASPS)

It burns!

(SCREAMS)

Tell me about it.

(SCREAMING)

(RELIEVED SIGH)

You've heard of the rocket pack.

Well, I call this, "the Rocky pack."

I'm a little uncomfortable, Bullwinkle.

Yeah, but just use your Cloyd super-powered mouth blast,

and Rocky-pack us to Pottsylvania.

I told you, Bullwinkle, when I torched the room.

I can't control these pow... (screams)

You're doin' it, buddy.

Pottsylvania, here we...

Do you smell something burning?

(BULLWINKLE YELLING)

(RELIEVED SIGHS)

Magic carpet?

You can make things float.

Floating carpet equals magic carpet.

Now float us up, buddy

(EFFORT GRUNTS)

We're doing it.

Now faster, Rock, we gotta save Cloyd.

One super-fast carpet comin' up.

Too fast.

Well, at least my posterior isn't on fire.

Oh. (SCREAMS)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back at bad guy headquarters...

Come on, alien, do the thing

where you blow fire from your face hole.

Bloop.

Ay. Don't you bloop me.

I'm the one who bloops around here.

(GRUNTS) I'll handle this.

Okay, alien, listen up.

I'm not going to end up in that shark-man t*nk,

so you know what's going to happen

if you don't do as we say?

This.

Oh, bloop.

(GRUNTING)

Come on, Gary, I was at your wedding.

(GRUNTING)

You disgust me.

Now, are you going to do as we say?

Or are you going to end up like soggy-punch-face?

(BLABBERING)

I think he's going to do it.

(BLABBERING) Bloop.

The punching's not so bad,

but the water is so cold.

(BOTH GRUNTING AND GROANING)

NARRATOR: While Cloyd gave Boris and Natasha a proper blooping,

Rocky and Bullwinkle finally figured out a way to get to Pottsylvania.

BOTH: I got it!

NARRATOR: Then they leapt in the air in a totally awesome freeze-frame.

Then they unfroze.

We can use the rocket at the space diner to fly to Pottsylvania.

And we can use your mouth rocket blaster to get us there in no time.

Oh, but I can't control these powers.

And every time I try, something goes wrong.

But you have to.

We promised Cloyd we would protect him

and help him find his parents.

Ooh. I'm having another future vision.

I see Cloyd wrapped in bubble pack.

And there's explosions all around him.

Explosions?

Rocky, you have to dig down deep

and fire up those alien-blasting mouth powers, right now!

Okay. I'll do it.

For Cloyd!

Ooh, this is pretty fast.

NARRATOR: And it was pretty fast.

Faster than I can say the rest of this line.

Quick, Rocky, to the Rocket!

Wait a minute.

Rocky, this must be where the ice cream sunday prophecy comes true.

Uh...

(SLURPS) Yum.

Nah, this isn't where it happens. It was darker.

Are you sure?

'Cause I'm really in the mood for a prophecy right now,

with extra sprinkles.

I'm sure. To the rocket!

Stop right there, rocket thieves.

"Rocket thieves"?

We're not rocket thieves.

Quick, let's steal the rocket.

You stole my rocket and satellite once,

and you will not be taking it again.

Battle hair me.

NARRATOR: Battle hair!

And eyebrow me, too.

Now!

NARRATOR: Battle brows!

But, Mr. Tusk,

we need the rocket to help a friend in danger.

You don't understand.

I understand.

Now tell me where that alien is

so I can put him in my zoo.

Oh, and I brought a robot army of my own to make sure you do.

Okay, so this is clearly not where I get my sunday.

NARRATOR: Oh, no!

It's an old-fashioned, eccentric billionaire, parking lot showdown.

Can Rocky and Bullwinkle defeat Colonel Boudreaux's robots and rescue Cloyd?

Will Rafi get angry enough to add a soul patch?

Oh, he did.

And will Bullwinkle ever get that tasty sunday?

Okay, can we just stop saying the word "sunday," please?

NARRATOR: Find out after this word from our not-real sponsor.

MALE AD NARRATOR: Ooh, sundays.

You know you want it.

Mmm, so tasty.

Ah, come on.

There's only so much a hungry moose can take.

NARRATOR: Right, uh, okay.

Now back to our show.

Where we resume our battle in the middle of the desert

and our heroes trapped in the middle of two eccentric billionaires.

Hello, Rafi.

Still trying to get to outer space?

Still trying to build that weird alien zoo?

It's not weird, it's eccentric!

And now you're not invited.

Well, you two clearly have

a lot of eccentric billionaire stuff to talk over,

so we'll just be on our alien-rescuing way and...

You're not going anywhere.

Yes, they are.

They're taking me to get my alien.

Well, Rock, there's no getting out of this one, and...

Whoa.

(GROANING)

You should probably leave us alone and give us your rocket.

I'm Rafi Tusk, why would I do that?

'Cause I have alien powers and I have no idea how to use them.

You think we're afraid of a light-up-eyed flying squirrel?

Get him, my battle robots.

Rocky, look out!

(GRUNTING)

Scared hair me.

(GRUNTING)

Well, don't just stand there, battle robots.

att*ck!

Ha! Nobody blasts my battle robots and gets away with it.

Huh, maybe they do.

Let's skedaddle.

Now!

(GROANING)

Rocky!

(GROANS)

What'd I do, Bullwinkle?

You did great.

You should have seen the look on Rafi's face.

(CHUCKLES)

(GRUNTS)

Oh, look, you can see it.

Not so fast, Tusk.

Now, we need to get to Pottsylvania and save our friend,

and you're gonna take us there

and, time permitting, stop for a sunday.

With sprinkles.

If you think for one minute,

you can tell Rafi Tusk what to...

Don't make me use this.

NARRATOR: So, as Rafi Tusk wisely listened to Bullwinkle

because of his powerful, uh, Rocky-blaster...

Wouldn't you?

NARRATOR: Fearless Leader, once again, gathered the world leaders

to thr*aten them with his ultimate alien w*apon.

Leaders of the world!

It is time to witness the power of my new ultimate alien w*apon.

Which will definitely obey me this time,

because if it doesn't,

I know two evil spies who will find themselves in a man-shark-t*nk!

(NERVOUS CHUCKLE) Hello.

Let me call you back.

What the what!

Yeah. (SPITS)

We couldn't get little green guy to do his alien space powers.

But we did get you ice cream sunday.

Is a little wet.

You know I hate soggy chocolate.

Now, there's got to be something we can do with it.

You could put a funny hat on him

and make him your wacky alien sidekick?

I already have a wacky chicken sidekick.

You could put him in a little basket

and ride around on your bicycle

and go for heart-warming adventures?

Eh, it's been done.

Come on, he's an alien.

He's gotta got to be worth something.

Wait. Get me some bubble pack.

NARRATOR: Bubble pack? What could he want with bubble pack?

Wait, I have some right here.

(BUBBLES POPPING) Oh. (CHUCKLES)

That is so satisfying.

(CLEARS THROAT) And then our alien-rescuing heroes

arrived in Pottsylvania to save the day.

We made it.

Okay, now we just have to get inside that evil lair,

save Cloyd from the super evil guy,

find Cloyd's parents,

fulfill the ice cream prophecy,

and make it back to the reunion

to show everyone how cool we are.

Okay, but "we made it," is a good first step.

Well, good luck, fellas.

I gotta get back in my rocket and head back to...

Or I can wait right here.

I'll wait here.

Thanks!

Okay, Rock, you got us this far,

but now it's time for me to take over

with a little Space-Kwon-Do.

(KARATE GRUNTING)

Uh, Rocky?

Here for the pool party?

(HENCHMEN GROANING)

Okay, good thinking. I'll save the Space-Kwon-Do.

Now move out.

Stand back, Rock, I got this one.

(GRUNTS)

You didn't even give me a chance.

I'm really getting the hang of these alien powers.

Move out again!

Great, this one's already open.

Looks like we won't have to...

Okay, now you're just showing off.

(SNIFFS) I smell justice.

That's funny, all I smell is melted door.

Hey, wait for me.

Okay, Fearless Leader.

Little green alien is ready for shipping.

Perfect! Some rich sucker on E-vil Bay

just paid me a bajillion dollars,

which I then used to buy real sharks.

Same-day delivery, baby.

(CHOMPING)

And with the rest of the money,

Pottsylvania will finally be able to buy...

A sweet bouncy castle?

A decent retirement plan?

No! We will build a real take-over-the-world space w*apon.

Give us back our alien friend now.

(RUNNING FOOTSTEPS)

(PANTING) What, what did I miss?

I told 'em to give us back the alien.

Cool. Cool.

Gah! It's Moose and Squirrel.

Really powerful squirrel.

(GASPS) Bloop.

Cloyd!

Release Cloyd and no harm will come to you.

Maybe a little.

You can't just come into my house and tell me what to do.

Uh-oh. (ROCKY SCREAMING)

Do something!

Like this?

(CHUCKLES) Nothing ever gets damaged inside bubble pack.

(BOTH GROANING)

(ROCKY GRUNTING)

Okay, I guess you just keep destroying things

and I'll go get Cloyd.

Hey, little buddy, let's get you out of here,

'cause your Uncle Rocky might be losing it.

I'm getting out of here.

(GRUNTING)

(GASPS) But impressive.

(GRUNTING)

Oh!

(GRUNTING)

Going somewhere?

You cannot stop me, Squirrel.

Nobody stops Fearless Leader!

(SCREAMING)

Rock, I got Cloyd!

Let's get out of here before you take this too far.

(ECHOING) I am all powerful.

I am unstoppable.

I am everything!

I think that's too far.

Okay, this is an ironic twist.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Huh? (SHRIEKS)

Ha! I may not have a super-powered alien

but now I have a super-powered squirrel.

Who happens to be taking a nap right now to recharge his powers.

But when he gets up, he's going to be super powerful!

BOTH: We did it!

And now to use my remaining bazillion dollars to build a rocket,

get to space, and transmit his destructive powers

across the entire globe.

Ooh, and if there's any money left over,

a big fancy space station would be nice.

Hey, guys, are you almost done?

I really need to fly my rocket back to my big fancy space station.

Or I can just steal his.

(MANIACAL LAUGHING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

No! Come back with my best friend.

NARRATOR: Oh, no. Rocky is being taken to outer space.

But just as things were looking completely hopeless,

Bullwinkle spotted one silver lining, with sprinkles.

The ice cream prophecy. It came true.

NARRATOR: Just as Rocky had foretold.

Meaning the Space Battle Prophecy was still to come.

Meaning I'll still have a chance to save Rocky.

In the meantime...

COLONEL BOUDREAUX: Well, well, well.

Sorry to interrupt dessert,

but it appears you have the bajillion-dollar alien

I purchased online.

Same-day pick-up.

How ironic.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh again.

BOTH: Bloop, bloop!

Oh, my gosh again, again!

NARRATOR: "Oh, my gosh, again, again" is right.

Those weirdos were really Cloyd's parents in disguise,

who were using Boudreaux's eccentric billionaire technology

to find their lost son.

Bloop.

Oh, my gosh again, again, again.

This soggy chocolate is so good.

NARRATOR: Hooray!

Rocky and Bullwinkle were able to reunite their little green friend

with his bigger green parents after all.

Well, just Bullwinkle,

because Rocky was hurtling into space.

Will Fearless Leader be able to use Rocky's alien powers to rule the world?

Can Bullwinkle get to space, save his bestest buddy and possibly the world?

Will there be enough soggy sundae for all of us?

Find out in our next exciting episode,

Squirreled Domination

or Bullwinkle's Space Station Vacation.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)