01x10 - Moosebumps!

[bunniefuu]

What's up, Internet!

It's the Monster Bros, professional monster hunters.

And we are gettin' at it!

We're about to go looking for the sick monster

that was recently spotted in this hecka spooky house!

Whoa, hold up, bros!

This intense monster hunting is gonna need a boost.

With Beast Blast Energy drink!

ALL: Blast it, bros!

(ALL COUGHING)

Let's bro this. (COUGHS)

(SHUSHES) Bros, I hear something monster-like around this corner.

(CREAKING)

I totally hear it too, bro-bro.

LADY BRO: Hey, bros! Check it.

Triple-X T!

Totally monster-sized.

(SCREAMING)

I can't watch anymore. It's too scary.

Whoa! Another creaky noise and another big t-shirt.

They're amazing!

And people say they're all hype

'cause they never find monsters

and are just tricking people into buying energy drinks.

But we'd never fall for that.

'Cause monsters are real.

Blast it, bro!

(COUGHING)

What I wouldn't give to go monster hunting right now.

But there aren't any monsters in Frostbite Falls.

(SCREAMS)

(CREAKING)

(WHIMPERING)

BOTH: Monster!

(SCREAMING)

I'm not a monster.

BOTH: Oh.

I'm a real estate agent.

BOTH: Real estate!

(SCREAMING)

I'm here to inform you

a house in the creepy English countryside

has been left to you by your uncle.

(GASPS) You mean, my uncle is...

Yes.

Retired.

He's moved to Florida.

And this house is in the creepy English countryside,

where like, monsters could be?

Monsters who wear really big t-shirts?

You'll have to wait and see.

Just sign on the creepy dotted line

and I'll take you to your new house.

BOTH: Let's bro this!

(COUGHING)

Let's be on our way.

NARRATOR: Oh, mama! What a monster setup!

I can't wait to see what happens next,

right after this totally new and extra creepy, scary,

spooky opening title sequence!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

We now resume our spooky story to find Rocky, Bullwinkle

and that weird real estate guy,

having flown from Frostbite Falls

to the creepy English countryside.

Not a bad flight, eh, Rock?

Speak for yourself.

You didn't have to sit between the two horses.

Oh, man, I can't wait to see our super creepy house!

We have arrived.

Monster hunting, here we come!

(TWITTERING)

It sucks.

Not what you were hoping for?

Well, it's nice and all.

But we were really hoping for something more like...

BOTH: That one!

Oh, well, if you're interested,

it just went on the market.

The owner is looking for a very quick sale.

(TWITTERING)

Bullwinkle, if we want to look for monsters

like the Monster Bros,

we have to sell this adorable boring house

and buy that big awesome spooky one!

It'll be easy, 'cause let's face it,

who else would be in a rush to buy that place?

I love it!

Get me Boris and Natasha.

(DINGS)

BORIS: Whoa! I can't stop.

How do I stop the flipping?

Unbelievable.

(DINGS)

(BORIS GRUNTS)

(CLEARS THROAT) Fearless Leader,

what is next evil assignment?

Do you need us to blow up the moon?

Hijack a volcano?

Put a volcano on the moon

so maybe the lava, like, flows down

and maybe melts the moon? (LAUGHING)

I need you to buy me a house.

Okay. That's cool.

I need a summer home.

Sometimes you just want to get away from all this evil.

And be evil somewhere else.

Plus, this place is falling apart.

(SQUAWKS)

Make sure nobody else gets that house

before I do.

BOTH: We're on it, Fearless Leader.

Where did this window come from?

NARRATOR: And so, Boris and Natasha traveled to England.

Pip-pip. But little did they know that Rocky and Bullwinkle

sold their quaint little cottage

to three little pigs

who were looking for something sturdy.

(GROWLS)

NARRATOR: Then they raced up the spooky hill

to move into their new spooky house.

(GRUNTS)

Hello, ugly darling.

We are here to purchase spooky house.

Oh, sorry.

I just sold it to a talking moose and squirrel.

(GASPS) Moose and squirrel?

How can it be?

Relax, maybe is different talking moose and squirrel.

Yes, Rocky and Bullwinkle

just fell in love with this place.

Relax, maybe is different Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Look, we need this house.

But it's not for sale anymore.

That is, of course, unless someone or something

scares the new owners away.

Well, goodbye.

That's it, Boris.

We'll scare Moose and Squirrel out of the house.

And then Fearless Leader will succeed

in his most evil plot ever.

To have a vacation home.

NARRATOR: And so, as Boris and Natasha questioned

what they were doing with their lives,

Rocky and Bullwinkle had a question of their own,

"Where are the monsters?"

Okay, yo. Winkle-bro here.

And Rocket J bro, yo.

And we've been spooky homeowners for like an hour

but we haven't found any monsters

or any giant monster t-shirts.

Hey, uh, bro?

Who's holding the camera, yo?

Hello.

(SCREAMING)

BOTH: Who are you?

The butler. I come with the house.

BOTH: Okay.

I've been at this house for many years,

in the employ of a scientist

who conducted highly unusual experiments.

That is until she disappeared

under mysterious, horrifying circumstances.

Yeah, we don't remember asking you about any of that.

So...

So, uh, does this place have monsters or not?

Monsters? You shouldn't be here.

You must leave, now.

We can't leave and you can't make us.

Because I locked all the doors and windows.

And shredded the key.

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

It seems I have no choice but to let you stay.

BOTH: Hooray.

But you must never, under any circumstances,

go in the basement.

Or you'll risk a fate worse than you could ever imagine.

Oh, and ring if you need anything.

(RINGING)

How do we get in the basement?

I'll never tell.

(RINGING)

But there's like a secret passage to get

to the basement, right?

To the basement?

I'm done talking about the basement.

(RINGING)

No basement and no more bell.

We got to go find that secret basement passage.

NARRATOR: Oh, I don't know what's in that basement,

but I do know what's coming down that chimney.

And it ain't Santa.

I tell you, I don't know how he does it every year

with that big sack of toys.

And he's so chunky.

And look how tiny that chimney is.

Enough about Santa.

We have to scare Moose and Squirrel out of this house.

And I know just what to do.

NARRATOR: Oh, no.

It looks like it's going to be

curtains for Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Not curtains. Sheets.

BORIS: Baa. Baa.

NATASHA: It's boo, you idiot.

We are ghosts, not sheep.

BULLWINKLE: Keep pulling stuff, Rock.

The secret passage switch has got to be here somewhere.

BOTH: Boo.

(GASPS) Bullwinkle.

Are those what I think they are?

BOTH: Boo.

Yes, Rock. Dirty linens.

Quick, throw 'em down this laundry chute.

BOTH: Boo.

NATASHA: We need new plan.

(GRUNTING)

Okay, Moose and Squirrel

see terrifying walking suit of armor...

They run screaming out of house,

and we buy it for Fearless Leader.

BULLWINKLE: Maybe the passage is under the carpet.

Nope.

(SCATTING) ♪ Gonna find that passage...

BORIS: Go.

(SCATTING) ♪ Maybe it's downstairs ♪

Why did you stop?

Because if we fall down staircase

we'll end up like tin can.

That only happens in cartoons.

Just take it one step at a...

(GRUNTING)

No more Mr. Spooky stuff.

Just take them out and we'll take the house.

BULLWINKLE: Look.

Nothin' opens up a secret basement passage

like pulling an old secret book off a shelf.

ROCKY: Classic spooky house rules.

BORIS: Get them.

BOTH: (SCREAMING)

Nothing. How about...

This one?

Just start pulling everything, Rock. Go nuts.

BOTH: (SCREAMING)

Well, nothing in this room.

Onward.

(GRUNTING)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

I hate books.

NARRATOR: As Boris and Natasha

were continuously pelted by falling books...

Wait, what?

(GRUNTING)

NARRATOR: Rocky and Bullwinkle

were getting ready to close this chapter of their story.

Well, Rock, no secret passage

and no monsters anywhere, yo.

I'm mad sad, bro.

So time to go, yo.

Oh, yeah. We're totally locked in here

and shredded the key.

We do dumb things sometimes.

(LAUGHING)

(GROWLING)

Stomach's growling, huh?

All this bro-ing and yo-ing

really does work up an appetite.

(GROWLING) Uh.

That wasn't me.

It wasn't?

'Cause if it wasn't your stomach

it almost sounded like a... (GASPS)

(ROARS)

BOTH: Monster!

NARRATOR: (STUTTERING) Monster?

What's (STUTTERS) going to happen?

Find out after this (STUTTERS) magic break.

Hey, Rocky. Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.

Again?

See? Nothing up my sleeve...

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

NARRATOR: And we're back.

When we last left our heroes,

they had accomplished their spooky mission of finding the monster.

The only problem, they found a monster.

I can't believe it, Rock.

We found a real-life monster.

Yeah, I'd be excited

if I wasn't scared out of my squirrel skull.

(GROWLS)

Locked. Locked. Locked.

It's no use. Everything is locked.

(WHIMPERS) Maybe shredding that key wasn't our best idea.

Why's that?

MONSTER: (GROWLS)

Oh, right, the monster.

(WHIMPERS) I guess this is the end, buddy.

And to make matters worse,

how crooked is this painting?

Can't even look at it. It's making me nuts.

BOTH: (SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Hokey smokes,

we finally found the forbidden basement.

Funny how sometimes you find the thing you've been searching for

only after you stop looking,

because a monster is chasing you,

and you fall through a trap door.

Isn't life funny like that?

Uh, I guess.

And what kind of basement is this?

Yeah, I don't see a foosball table anywhere.

Bullwinkle, maybe there's a spare key down here

that could get us out of this monster house.

Start touchin' stuff.

Way ahead of ya.

NARRATOR: As Rocky and Bullwinkle

touched stuff they probably shouldn't be touching to find a spare key,

Bullwinkle's phone was about to be unlocked.

Look, Boris. Moose's phone.

(CHUCKLES) Let's change all of his contact names to Butt Face.

Idiot.

Perhaps it holds key to scaring him out of the house.

AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE: Voice recognition required.

Eh. Duh, I'm dumb moose.

AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE: Approved.

Facial recognition required.

Uh, I don't look like Moose.

AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE: Approved.

Definitely a moose.

Yo, yo, yo, we're lookin' for monsters, yo.

As long as they're not too scary, bro.

Or we might be scared right out of this house, yo.

That's it. If Moose and Squirrel

are looking for monsters,

we'll give them monsters.

Yes, we give them monsters.

Just like Santa gives presents

when he slides down that tiny chimney?

Stop talking about Santa,

and go find a monster costume.

We'll meet back here in five minutes.

I talk about Santa all I want.

He's very magical man.

NARRATOR: While Boris and Natasha set out

for an extreme monster makeover,

Rocky and Bullwinkle were still touching stuff

they definitely shouldn't have been touching.

Not a key.

Not a key.

Not a key.

Hello, what's this?

Must be an old bottle of Beast Blast energy drink.

(SNIFFS)

Ooh, musty lemon lime flavor.

ROCKY: Bullwinkle, I found a door.

Should we open it?

It may be our only way out.

Yeah, I'm not going in there.

That means if we want to survive,

we've only got one option left.

(KNOCKING) MONSTER: (GROWLS)

We have to catch that monster.

BOTH: Get him.

We caught the monster, yo.

We did it, bro.

BUTLER: I see you've found the basement.

This monster sounds an awful lot like a butler.

That's because it is the butler.

(NERVOUS CHUCKLES)

We thought you were the monster.

I told you this home was dangerous.

You didn't touch anything, did you?

BOTH: Uh...

Hey, Rock, don't we have a real monster to go catch?

You know it, bro.

Hmm.

NARRATOR: Well, that doesn't look good.

You know what else doesn't look good?

Boris's monster costume.

The only thing scary about that thing

is his lack of commitment.

You try making monster costume on short notice.

Natasha, I'm ready.

And I'm really scary-looking despite what Narrator says.

NATASHA: I'll be there in a second, darling.

Ugh, crooked picture is driving me nuts.

Boris, Narrator is crazy.

That is great costume.

(ROARS)

You even sound like real monster.

Wow, I can't see a seam anywhere.

And these teeth are terrifying.

This will definitely scare Moose and Squirrel

out of house forever.

Come on, let's go.

BORIS: Hello? What just happened?

NARRATOR: As Boris found himself stuck between a wall and a crawl space,

Rocky and Bullwinkle were hoping to get the drop on the monster.

There. I think that's enough monster traps for this room.

Lucky we found that room full of monster traps.

Should we go place some traps upstairs, bro?

Trap it up, yo.

(CHUCKLES) I'm free.

I never want to be trapped like that again.

Ooh. Raw meat.

Oh, poop.

And eventually I'd love to open my own evil spy school

to inspire future generations of evil spies.

You're such a good listener today, Boris.

Usually, you'd have done something stupid by now.

Hello.

Wait, if you're there, then...

(GROWLS)

Oh, poop.

(ROARS)

Oh, there's no way out.

All windows and doors are locked from the inside.

Who does that?

(ROARS)

The chimney. If Santa can get up it, then so can we.

(ROARS)

(WHIMPERING)

NATASHA: Idiot, now we're stuck.

BORIS: Don't worry, I have hot theory

about how fat man gets up tiny chimney.

(expl*si*n)

Idiot!

Oh, someone lit a fire. How thoughtful.

MONSTER: (ROARS)

(STUTTERS) Monster!

Don't worry, Rock,

'cause we still have all the traps.

(ROARS)

And now we don't.

Got any more ideas?

(CLEARS THROAT) Cue the cheesy monster chase music.

♪ Monster's on the loose Watch out Squirrel and Moose

♪ Are they super scared? You betcha

♪ Running in and out

♪ Wow, that's a lot of doors... ♪

Wait.

How did we go in one door and then come out another?

(GROWLS)

Just go with it, Rock.

(ROARS)

(ROARS)

Straighten the picture and get us out of here.

It's not working.

(ROARING)

It's hug and scream time, yo.

You got it, bro.

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

Hmm?

(GROANING)

(CLEARING THROAT)

The butler. I knew it.

Really?

No.

Allow me to explain.

BOTH: Okay.

Years ago, whilst tidying the basement,

I spilled one of my former master's experiments upon my person.

That very potion is what transformed me into a monster.

Ever since that rueful day,

I've been unable to control when I turn into the beast.

And you were trying to scare us out of the house

to save us from your same fate.

No. I was tired of cleaning up after you.

You guys destroyed this place in under four hours.

Come on, it's not like we destroyed the whole house.

You didn't touch the portal door in the basement, did you?

Oh, dude, we touched everything.

Get out now, before it's too late.

(ALL GRUNTING)

But all the doors are locked,

and Bullwinkle shredded the key.

Oh, no, now we'll never unlock it.

Get out.

Come on.

Oh, no. As the old saying goes,

"The butler goes down with the house."

I don't think that's a saying.

BUTLER: (SCREAMING)

Huh. Do you think this will affect the property value?

Bad news is, we lost our spooky house.

Good news is,

we're safe and everything can go back to normal.

Here's to being normal.

What is that?

Ah, it's just an old musty energy drink

I found in the basement.

In the basement?

(GROWLS)

(SCREAMS)

NARRATOR: Oh, no. What just happened to Bullwinkle?

Will we ever see our heroic butler again?

And seriously, what's up with that door?

Find out in our next monster episode...

The Moose on Haunted Hill

or The Creature From Frostbite Falls.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)