01x19 - Put Another Shrimp on the Rocky/M is for Mistery, Argh is for Pirate

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR:Previously on The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle...

Our heroes solved an unsolvable maze on the kids' menu

at their favorite restaurant,Long Tom Lobster's.

Then they were whisked away

to meet the big-wig boss, Mr. Suitman,

who sent Rocky and Bullwinkle on a quest

to find a special gem

with the power to control water.

But when they found the gem,

Mr. Suitman turned into Mr. Brute-man,

and used its powers

to send Rocky and Bullwinkleto their doom,

where they were saved by the ghost of Long Tom Lobster,

who informed them of a second power gem.

And faster than you can say,"Yum, more cheesy crab sticks,please,"

it's time to start this new episode.

Yum, more cheesy crab sticks, please.

I'm glad you like 'em.

They're years old.

That's right, eat up, lads.

You're gonna need yer strength to find the next power gem.

Okay, now about this next power gem...

Yeah, we're gonna need a little more gem-formation.

It's called The Fire Gem.

[BOTH COUGHING]

What does it do?

It has the power to control fire.

BOTH: Wow!

And you're gonna need its power,

if you're to defeat that bilge rat Suitman,

and get the water gem back.

Or, what if we don't do that,

stay here and munch down on more dusty crab sticks?

[CHOMPING]

This be no time for munchin'.

With the immense power of the water gem,

Suitman will be able to wipe out

all other restaurants in the world.

No more burgers.

No more tacos.

And no more pizza.

BOTH: We gotta get that fire gem!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

NARRATOR:And so we restart our adventure

with Long Tom Lobster

giving our heroes their first big clue.

You'll find the fire gem

somewhere on the Hawaiian island of O'ahu.

Here. Ye can take me ride.

[VEHICLE LOCK CHIRPS]

Okay, okay, sweet ride, sweet ride.

But could you give us another clue?

Hawaii's a pretty big place.

I'm clueless.

But I do have three mystical helpers

inside this chest.

Behold, the ancient totem of finding things.

The ancient totem of unlocking locked things.

And the ancient totem of, I forgot what it does.

But I'm sure ye'll figure it out.

Uh, this adventure's starting to sound complicated.

Can't you just do it?

Would if I could.

But I can't touch stuff. See?

Wait, if you can't touch stuff,

how can you stand on the deck of the ship?

Uh-oh.

I'm okay.

Now go find that gem.

[SCREAMS]

NARRATOR:And so as Rocky and Bullwinkle set sail

on the adventure of a lifetime,

big-wig bad boy, Mr. Suitman

was about to float a new corporate strategy to his board room.

MR. SUITMAN: Members of the board.

I propose we use water powers

to completely eliminate all of our competition,

and make Long Tom Lobster's

the only restaurant on earth.

Any questions?

Any more questions?

[TEETH CHATTERING]

Good. All in favor?

[TEETH CHATTERING]

Excellent.

NARRATOR:And with the powerof the water gem,

Suitman wiped out the world's burgers.

[ALL SCREAMING]

He wiped out the world's tacos.

[ALL SCREAMING]

And he wiped out the world's pizza.

[ALL SCREAMING]

But it looks like you can still get some Fish and Bits.

BOTH: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Fearless Leader, we are sorry

we did not get blue power gem

from moose and squirrel.

That would have allowed you to turn this dump

into the greatest fish restaurant of all time.

That's okay.

BOTH: What?

Fearless Fish N Bits is too good to fail.

I have my new pumpkin spice bits.

I've got fast, friendly service.

[SQUAWKS]

And st century infotainment!

I'm coming for you, Long Tom Lobster's!

A massive spikein restaurant floodings

has madeLong Tom Lobster's

the number oneand only restaurantin the world.

What?

We sent our ownDale Daringtonto find out more.

Mr. Suitman, real talk.

Your restaurants are thriving

while all the other ones have been destroyed by water.

What's your secret?

Not gems.

[GASPS] Fearless Leader.

Long Tom Big-Wig has blue water power gem.

No, didn't you hear?

He just said is not gems. [GROANS]

And I said he can't touch us.

I've got the bits,

I've got the service,

I've got the TV.

Nothing can stop me!

[RUMBLING]

On second thought,

go get me that water gem,

and don't come back without it!

BOTH:Da, Fearless Leader!

Swim, swim, swim...

NARRATOR:So, as Boris and Natasha

swam, swam, swam down the road,

Rocky and Bullwinklesail, sail, sailed to Hawaii.

Look, Daddy. I made a sand castle

with moat and working drawbridge.

Sounds great, sport.

Okay, now to find that fire gem,

and save burgers, tacos and pizza everywhere.

Totem of Finding Things,

we need a fire rock, so start finding.

Bullwinkle, it's lighting up.

And now, it's pointing towards that volcano.

And now, it's taking us there!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

ROCKY: And now it's turning!

And now it's getting a kukui-nut necklace.

And now it's parasailing?

Ah, you know you're not in Hawaii to vacation, right?

You're here to find the fire gem.

Now find it.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Bullwinkle, it took us right to the volcano.

[BOTH GASP]

And this mysterious door.

So mysterious.

[GRUNTING]

It's locked up tight, my little adventure buddy.

Well, we gave it a sh*t.

Episode over.

Goodnight, everyone. Oh, boy.

I sure learned a lot.

The ending abrupt? Yes.

But not without its artistic merit.

Wait.

We can use the Totem of Unlocking Locked Things.

Right.

I did it.

I guess now we go through this dark ancient tunnel.

Race you to the center of the volcano.

Oh, you know it.

NARRATOR:So, as Rocky and Bullwinkle

were entering the volcano,

Boris and Natasha were...

Idiot, how are you so bad at this?

Joke's on you.

Crashing is the new landing.

Just who do you think you are,

breaking into my boardroom?

I'm lovable, awesome Boris!

And I don't think.

Hand over the gem, business boy.

Why don't you come and get it?

Boris, cover me.

Got it. Wait, what?

[GROANING]

Hey, Mr. Suit.

Hmm?

So long, lobster boy.

[MR. SUITMAN SCREAMING]

Boris, let's roll.

[GRUNTS] Nope.

[GROANS]

NARRATOR:As Natasha and bloated Boris

made their cool water escape,

Rocky and Bullwinkle were feeling the heat,

deep inside the volcano.

Bullwinkle, stop!

This floor is covered with booby traps.

We have to be careful where we step.

Booby traps. Watch where I step. Got it.

Hmm.

[ROCKY GROANS]

[SNORING]

Wake up, sleepyhead.

[GROANS] How long was I out?

Ooh, seven hours.

Seven hours!

Bullwinkle, you have to be more careful where you step.

Be more careful. Right.

And I think it's pretty obvious

which ones not to step on.

Got it.

[GROANS]

Bullwinkle, we've been in this tunnel for hours, just run!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS]

[BOTH GASP]

Bullwinkle, look!

The fire gem.

But it's surrounded by lava.

But that's not a problem for us super adventure buddies.

And that, my propeller'd pal, is how it's done.

Hot! Hot!

So hot!

Too hot. Hot. So hot. You take it.

Ouch, hot!

Too hot, too hot. Lava beast behind us?

Most likely.

Should we try to make friends with it instead of fighting it

because there's nothing more powerful than the power of friendship?

It's worth a sh*t.

Hello.

[GROWLS]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

ROCKY: Get to the door!

You got any other powers?

'Cause the power of friendship isn't working!

[BOTH SHRIEKING]

Wait a minute, Rocky!

Look, we have the power of sleep darts.

We do?

Huh. [SNORING]

[ROARS]

Hmm?

[ROARS]

Ha! Not so hot now, are ya', Mr. Lava Guardian?

[RUMBLING]

[GASPS]

Okay, you're still hot!

NARRATOR:Oh, no.

Will Bullwinkle escape the rising lava?

Will our heroes save burgers, tacos, and pizza?

And will Rocky sleep through this entire episode?

Uh, what?

[GRUNTS]

NARRATOR:Find out,

after another Rocky and Bullwinkle Magic Break.

Hey, Rocky. Watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat.

Again? Every time you do it, something crazy happens.

I'll do it this time.

[GRUNTS] Sleep darts?

[SNORING]

NARRATOR:And we're back.

Except for Rocky, who's stillsleep-dart snoozing.

Ow!

NARRATOR:But not anymore.

Hokey smoking lava!

Oh, good. You're up.

My arms were getting tired from all this climbing.

Now, save us from this hokey smoking lava!

The volcano's gonna blow!

I have an idea!

The third totem. [GRUNTS]

Bullwinkle, how'd ya' know the totem would save us?

I didn't. I was just really tired of carrying that thing around.

[RUMBLING]

Uh, I'm not sure how long that totem's gonna hold.

Not to worry-o, well-rested pal.

The fire gem controls fire.

Ergo, fire gem stop volcano from erupt-o.

Go, fire gem.

Which I just remembered is super hot and burning my hand.

Yikes!

NARRATOR:Oh, no. Bullwinkle dropped the fire gem.

And, oh, where will it land?

Welcome to the Hyper-Gnarly Big Wave Tandem Team Surfing Championship.

Brought to you by Long Tom Lobster's.

Long Tom Lobster's,

it's now literallythe only food you can eat.

I'm Sara Sportley,

here as always with ex-surfer dude, Bonkers Malone.

That's right, Sara.

But not one team has signed up for today's championship,

and if you ask me,

I'd say it's because the trophy is super lame.

Hold the phone, Sara,

'cause that lame trophy just got totally gnarly.

Uh, sorry, Bonkers, Sara,

but we've got to take that fire gem back,

so we can save burgers, tacos, and pizza.

[RUMBLING]

And probably this island.

From an angry volcano dude.

[LAVA MONSTER GROWLS]

Sorry, squirrel dude.

But that gem is now property of this surf competition.

If you want that gem back,

you're gonna have to win the Hyper-Gnarly

Big Wave Tandem Team Surfing Championship!

Well, Rocky, I guess we've gotta find a surfboard.

Oh, Totem of Finding Things,

please find us a... [YELLS]

NARRATOR:So, as our two heroes

boogied off to find a board,

Fearless Leader was finally back in business,

and ready for the lunch crunch.

[SIGHS]

Perfect, Evil Chicken.

With this sick new TV,

and the relative dryness of our floors,

get ready for a flood of customers.

[EVIL CHICKEN GRUNTING]

Hey, Fearless Leader,

we have your super cool water rock.

And its super cool powers. Check it.

Oh, goodie. Now let me try.

Where ya' gonna eat now, losers?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Yes! And with this gem,

now everyone will have to see me for my bits,

and my service,

and my remote-controlled entertainment center.

Welcome back to the Hyper-Gnarly Big Wave

Tandem Team Surfing Championship.

Today the top team

will win the best trophy the world has ever seen.

Like, ever.

I'd like to win that thing myself, Sara.

But first, I'd have to get my leg back from the shark who took it.

Oh, sharks.

They love to bite.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Hey. Fiery rock on that gnarly trophy

looks just like Fearless Leader's water gem.

And that moose and squirrel

look just like Moose and Squirrel.

I'm here with surf team Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Give it to us straight.

What's your plan to win the hottest trophy in history?

Not gonna lie, Bonkers.

We have no idea what we're doing.

But incompetence has never stopped us before.

We have, like, a crazy

unprecedented streak of unearned victories.

So, we'll probably rely heavily on that.

Yeah, buddy.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

What?

If Moose and Squirrel win that contest and get that gem,

they'll be as powerful as me.

Boris, Natasha,

enter that surf thing,

and win me that gem.

But Fearless Leader,

you already have the water gem,

unstoppable water powers, and your restaurant...

No! No! No! I'm greedy for more power.

It's like a hole inside that can never be filled.

[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Man, he's really dragging this one out.

Now, take this gem,

use it to get me the other gem,

then I'll be able to control water and fire,

and rule the world!

Okay, I guess surf's up, baby.

NARRATOR:As Boris and Natasha

surfed out on a super-powered surf wave,

Rocky and Bullwinkle were ready to win the surf contest

because they were the only team that entered, when...

What's this?

BOTH: Surf, surf, surf, surf.

Whoa! It looks like another tubular team

is entering the contest.

I'm Ricky Riptide.

And I'm Longboard Lilly.

Now let's start this contest,

so we can win that fire trophy.

MR. SUITMAN: Not so fast.

That trophy will be mine.

Whoa, Long Tom Lobster CEO,

and beloved mascot, Lonny the Lobster.

What brings you to this race?

Uh, not gems.

[GASPS] Wait. We have another late entry.

[GROWLS]

Some sort of terrifying lava creature.

But sorry, bud,

you've gotta be a team to enter this race.

Okay.

Hey, how'd the Lava Guys get here?

NARRATOR:Good question.

Control room, let's roll the videotape.

The Lava Monster punched the cap off the volcano, wha-bam!

Setting off a molten chain of events, ka-rumble.

Unleashing the imminent eruption

that will destroy the whole island,

unless Rocky and Bullwinkle

can win that fire gem and stop it.

[SARCASTICALLY] No pressure there.

And let's shred.

All right, it's classic two-person surf race rules,

which means, there are no rules.

So, watch your back.

Wait, what?

The team that gets to the beach first,

wins that rad, rad trophy.

And here comes the big wave.

[HORN BLOWING]

BULLWINKLE: Cowabunga!

Faster, Lonny!

BULLWINKLE: Low-a-bunga!

Amazing, Bonkers.

Rocky and Bullwinkle are pulling ahead.

Nothing can stop those two.

Well, except, of course,

for egregious cheating, Sara.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Okay, time to cheat.

And time for Moose and Squirrel to wipe out!

Look, Rocky. The wave is waving at us.

Think again, Moose and Squirrel.

Smash-a-bunga, baby.

[BOTH SHRIEKING]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

BORIS AND NATASHA: Cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat,

cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat.

Well, that's it.

No more tacos, burgers or pizza.

[LOUD expl*si*n]

Oh, yeah, and no more Hawaii.

We can't give up, Rocky.

But we don't have any gems.

We don't have any power.

Yes, we do.

Because we have the power of friendship.

And if we work together,

I know we'll find a way to win.

Wait, that's it. Find!

Bullwinkle, the Totem of Finding Stuff!

Wait, where'd it get the sunglasses and beach hat?

Doesn't matter. Rocky, hop on.

And totem,

find that fire gem.

NARRATOR:And like a torpedoin the shape of a moose,

our Hawaiian heroes were backin the gnarly competition.

[ROCKY SCREAMING]

Whoa. I've never seen surfing like that, Bonkers.

And I'm not just saying that

because it's a squirrel riding a moose.

They are totally rad.

[CHEERING]

Look, Boris, we're going to win.

No. Lonny and I are going to win.

Now I have the power...

[SCREAMING]

NARRATOR:And just when it looked like

the Lava Guardians were going to win back their fire gem,

they were struck by a moose-pedo.

[ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE YELLING]

No! Now Moose and Squirrel are going to win.

Not so fast.

I mean, go fast.

SARA: A moose and squirrel and a pair of spies in disguise

tandem racing with the aid of ancient magical talismans.

I tell ya', Bonkers,

this is what surfing is all about.

It sure is.

The only thing that would be more exciting than this

is if I got my leg back from that shark.

Wait a minute.

Where did that come from?

NARRATOR: And in the competition

between the finding totem and the water gem,

it was anybody's race.

Water gem!

Totem!

Daddy, I rebuilt the sand castle.

I hope nothing happens to it this time.

That's great, buddy.

Bullwinkle, we won!

Hooray!

NATASHA: But now, you're going to lose!

NARRATOR:But with the powerof the fire gem,

Bullwinkle realized it was time to fight water with fire.

Uh-oh.

I'll take that.

BOTH: [SINGING] ♪ We got the gems

♪ We got the gems We got the gems ♪

NARRATOR:Uh, boys?

The volcano?

[RUMBLING]

Oh, yeah, right.

Fire gem, go!

[BIRD CHIRPING]

NARRATOR: And for good measure,

Rocky used the water gem

to cool off that hot mound of dirt once and for all.

And finally, they used their elemental gem powers

to save burgers,

tacos,

and pizza.

Then they returned the gems to the spirit of Long Tom Lobster.

Aye, well done, boys.

Ye retrieved the power gems,

averted a volcanic disaster,

and more importantly,

ye saved burgers, tacos, and pizza.

Now my soul can rest at peace.

Goodbye forever.

We'll never forget you, Long Tom Lobster.

Wait, just remembered. There's a third gem

and if we don't find that third gem, the world could end.

BOTH: Oh, come on! You gotta be kidding!

NARRATOR: No, we're not kidding. Don't believe me?

Then just watch our next episode,

"If You Can't b*at 'Em, Totem!"

Or, "It's Raining Gems!"

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]