01x21 - Gem-me Shelter/You Are the Wind Guardian Beneath My Gems

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: Previously on The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle...

Our heroes solved an ancient mystery

where they uncovered three crazy powered power gems!

And this ghost helped.

And this bad guy was bad.

And then they had to fight super nasty guardians to get them.

But they did get them!

But then Boris and Natasha stole them!

And I know that was really fast,

but it's next episode time,

and I gotta know what happens next!

BOTH: We're freaking out!

'Cause we basically lost all the world's powers, man!

Drop the bread in those silver slots,

'cause we're toast, brah! [TOASTER DINGS]

I know.

I was sitting right here during the entire recap.

Hey, wait, I thought you couldn't touch stuff.

I can't.

My spirit is only stable on solid terra firma.

Isn't sitting on a couch touching?

Uh-oh.

Anyway. This is what I've feared my whole dead life.

The enormous power of the power gems falling into the wrong...

dangerous hands.

You know we have a basement right?

Oh, dear.

Let's talk outside!

Now lads, where were we?

I remember! You were afraid your whole dead life

that the power gems would fall in the wrong hands.

And I just remembered you're standing over me and Rocky's

secret underground fort of friendship.

Seriously?

Cool fort!

To the fort.

NARRATOR: So, as our heroes joined their paranormal pirate pal

in the underground fortified fortress of friendship...

Back in Pottsylvania, Boris and Natasha

bickered over who would give Fearless Leader the gemmy gem gems.

I'm going to give it to him, you idiot![MUMBLING]

Just give me the gems.

[GROANS]

[TRIUMPHANTLY] Yes!

Oh! That's kind of cool.

[ALL SCREAMING]

Oh!

Whoa!

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMING]

Oh. It's the ultimate power.

And it's mine!

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

It's got a kick to it.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

NARRATOR: We resume our gem-tastic episode

in Rocky and Bullwinkle's secret fortress of friendship.

Okay.

We need to know everything...

About those gems.

If we're gonna make a plan...

To save the world!

[SQUEAKING]

It all started on me pirate journeys

when I was alive and could touch things.

I was searching for treasure

in the South American Forbidden Jungle.

Oh, and also, I was gorgeous.

And that's when I hit the pirate jackpot.

Me gorgeous jaw dropped at the sight.

I found the gems inside a golden temple.

And discovered they could control wind, fire, and water.

[MICROWAVE BEEPS] [SEESAW SQUEAKING]

And then what did you do?

I did what any pirate would do

if he found the most powerful gems on the planet.

Set out on a crusade to make the world a better place?

No!

I started the first chain of family-friendly sail-through restaurants.

I used me water gem to get the freshest seafood.

I used me fire gem

to cook 'em nice and crispy.

And the wind gem to carry the smell of me cooking across the ocean,

to create a viral whiff

and attract hungry customers.

But deep down,

I knew nobody,

not even me

should have that much power.

[COUGHS]

[SPLASH]

So, like any great pirate,

I buried me treasure all around the globe,

where nobody but me could find it.

And I used the gems to create three guardians.

The Water Guardian!

The Fire Guardian!

And the Wind Guardian!

Who would keep 'em safe, and out of the hands of evil.

ROCKY: Whoa, hold up!

If you created the guardians to protect the gems,

why didn't you just tell them to give the gems to us to defeat Suitman?

Um. I forgot the password.

Is it power gems one, two, three?

Power gems three, two, one?

Is it "password"?

Is it my birthday?

Is it your birthday?

Is it the word "lobster", but the "E" as a three.

Just give me the gems you overgrown fire...

But when you lads defeated the water serpent,

it was clear that you two were the best choice to retrieve the gems.

And then you lost them!

True dat. Our bad. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, Rock's bad.

But we're going to get them back!

Because there's no greater power on Earth than...

BOTH: The power of friendship!

[GUARDIANS GROWLING]

We're so dead.

[GUARDIANS GROWLING]

Help you.

NARRATOR: Did you hear that?

The guardians are going to help Rocky and Bullwinkle!

How did that happen?

Power gems two, one, three!

That was the password!

And I summoned the three guardians

to help ye!

NARRATOR: And so, with the proper password, Rocky and Bullwinkle

now had the power of friendship and the power of guardians to get the gems back,

which Fearless Leader had mounted on something he was calling...

The Ultimate Belt of Ultimate Power!

Water!

Fire!

Wind!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Uh... Eh?

[CHOMPING]

It's really good.

Duh!

So, you're going to use ultimate power in the world...

to make better Fish N Bits?

This place is my dream,

and you should never give up on your dreams.

Come on, it's what every kids show is about,

not giving up on your dreams.

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

[EVIL CHICKEN WHIMPERS]

Fearless Leader,

I think your laugh just caused an earthquake.

Perhaps ultimate power comes with terrible price.

Cool!

Now, to take over Long Tom Lobster headquarters,

and turn every one of their restaurants

into a Fearless Fish N Bits!

And nobody can stop me!

Except maybe Moose and Squirrel.

And the serpent thing,

and big lava dude...

And large, powerful, floppy guy!

Hey, guy! What's floppening?

[ROARS AND BLOWS]

BORIS: Okay, we'll talk later!

Excuse me, evil floating man.

But we're gonna need those gems back.

Don't make me laugh.

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

[SCREAMING]

Okay. Who wants to go first?

[WHISTLING]

[GROWLING]

Yawn.

And belt of ultimate power. Go!

Okay, who wants to go second?

I do!

'Cause it's time to blow you away!

[ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE SCREAMING]

That was fun.

Boris! Natasha! E.C. Hang on.

We've got a date with a starfish-shaped building.

NARRATOR: So, as our villains took off on their villainous mission,

our heroes came crashing down on this cliche cartoon island.

[ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE SCREAMING]

Okay, I know things look bad.

But remember, this is a kids show,

and all kids shows are about the power of friendship.

I thought they were about never giving up on your dreams.

It's basically the same thing, okay?

And the gems might be locked in the evil guy's belt of ultimate power,

but together, as friends,

we can get them back!

We have no power.

No gems.

Yes, we do.

We have, uh, this one!

That's rock.

No, it's not. It's the, uh...

It's the Friendship Gem!

And... And, uh...

And the friendship gem is more powerful

than all those other gems put together!

No, it's not.

I'm sorry.

[HISSES]

Fine! Give up!

But we're not giving up. We're not?

No! 'Cause we got this rock and friendship!

NARRATOR: So, as Rocky and Bullwinkle sat deserted on cliche island,

Mr. Suitman was cowering behind his big business table. Why?

Suitman! You tried to crush my dream,

but now it's time for me

to take over all the Long Tom Lobster's in the world.

Then everyone will only eat my bits!

[CLUCKS, COUGHING]

Yeah, he's got ultimate belt.

Of ultimate power!

Hey, floating monocle guy.

You don't want to take over Long Tom Lobsters.

I don't?

No. What you want to do is merge.

Merge? Why would I want to do that?

It's a weird word, right?

Merge.

Merge. [CHUCKLES]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Think about how strong we'd be if we joined forces.

With your belt and my business know-how, well,

we'd have all the power in the world.

Well, I do like power.

I, like, really like power.

And you can't deny that two evil brains are better than one.

Is pretty solid argument.

So, what do you say?

Let's merge!

That's mine.

-I want it. -That's mine!

[BOTH YELLING]

Oh, that is so weird.

NARRATOR: And it was weird.

Because the same gems that created the guardians also created...

The merger?

Oh, I hate mergers!

Yeah, this is not what I had in mind.

But, hey, ultimate power!

[BOTH LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

NARRATOR: Oh, no! Super-freaky Merger!

And it's causing super-shaky ground!

Can Rocky and Bullwinkle get off their island and somehow stop it?

BOTH: We're sure gonna try!

NARRATOR: Find out. After this break!

And now for the cultural part of the show.

Bullwinkle's corner!

Little Miss Muffet. By some dead poet person.

"Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet."

Rock, give me the tuffet.

Yeah, I don't know what that is.

"Eating her curds and whey."

Curds and whey?

Don't know what that is either.

"Along came a spider and..."

Please tell me you've brought the spider.

Oh, you know it!

[SCREAMING] I hate culture!

NARRATOR: We now return to the most threatening creature on the planet,

enjoying lunch.

This is the weirdest lunch I ever had.

Eh, I've had weirder.

Keep the spoon still!

I've never shared a tail before!

Oh, I told you soup was a bad idea.

But I love soup!

And I hate this merger!

-You think I'm happy about this? -I have a tail!

[RUMBLING]

[STUTTERS] Bullwinkle!

It's another shake att*ck!

[STUTTERS] What keeps causing this?

And what is that glow that's coming right for us?

BOTH: Long Tom Lobster!

This be the work of the power gems, boys.

And if we can't stop it,

I fear the whole world may cr*ck apart.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay, one question.

What the hokey smokes do we do about it,

and I forgot you can't be grabbed!

Ye must bring the power gems back to the Forbidden Jungle

where I found them.

So, you're saying,

we gotta steal the power gems,

take them to the golden temple,

place them on the mystical pedestal...

which I can only assume will send them back into the Earth's core,

thus restoring the elemental powers

and bringing non-shaking balance back to the planet?

Yep.

Get out of town!

I was right?

I was just makin' stuff up!

Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's get those gems,

and do all that junk Bullwinkle just said!

But you'll never be able to get the gems back from Fearless Leader and Suitman.

They be too powerful to face head on.

What if we get them to bring the gems to the temple for us?

With this!

The friendship gem.

Oh! I get it!

You want me to eat that rock,

giving me rock powers.

And then I'll do a traditional South American rock dance,

which I can only assume will be so good,

the bad guys will come all the way to the temple

and give us the gems!

Yeah, I don't even know how to respond to that.

But I was right about the first plan!

Oh, yeah. Now let's moose-motor to the mainland, B.

NARRATOR: As Rocky surfed Bullwinkle on a mission to save the world,

Fearless Leader and Suitman had accepted their merged fate,

and decided to work together.

FEARLESS LEADER: Okay, now wiggle a little to the left.

MR. SUITMAN: Okay, now wiggle back to the right.

Oh, I think we're getting the hang of this merger!

And now that you've got the hang of it,

maybe you could, um,

I don't know... End it!

Yeah! Why not use ultimate power belt

to un-merge yourselves into two separate people,

and we never speak of this again.

Unmerge?

Thanks to our unchecked limitless powers...

everyone in the world is too afraid to eat anywhere

but Fearless Long Tom Fish N Bits.

And nothing can stop us...

'cause we have all the power gems in the world!

Ooh! Look! [JINGLE PLAYS ON TV]

We're on Food Scoop with Mario Lopez!

[GASPING] Let's turn it up.

[TV VOLUME INCREASES]

Welcome back to Mario Lopez's Food Scoop with Mario Lopez.

I'm Mario Lopez.

And the world may be shaking but that hasn't stopped

newly-merged Fearless Long Tom Fish N Bits

from taking over the entire restaurant business.

That's right, Mario Lopez.

But in other Food Scoop news,

here's a talking moose and squirrel that just wandered into our studio.

Thanks, Mario Lopez.

We have a message for the two evil CEOs

that are running Fearless Long Tom Fish N Bits.

BOTH: Oh! That's us!

We just thought you'd like to know that there's a fourth power gem.

BOTH: What?

I know it may look like just a regular rock

you might find on a cliche cartoon island.

But trust us,

we're mythical gem hunters,

and this thing is so powerful.

We must have it!

We must have all the gems!

If you must have it,

must have all the gems,

you'll find us here.

In the South American Forbidden Jungle.

Back to you, Lopez.

So, that's clearly a trap.

So, how about we don't go to Forbidden Jungle,

use that belt, unmerge you two,

and episode over?

Or, we're greedy, we want that gem,

and we're gonna get it 'cause nothing can stop us.

Oh! I like the way we think.

Quick, to the lobster copter!

BOTH: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

NARRATOR: So, as the Fearless Merger

raced to the South American Forbidden Jungle,

Rocky and Bullwinkle had just arrived at the golden temple

to execute the old fake power gem switcheroo.

[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]

ROCKY: Look! Here come the bad guys!

And they brought the gems.

BOTH: Power!

Quick! Let's get 'em to follow us into the temple

before the world cracks apart!

[RUMBLING]

FEARLESS LEADER: Moose and squirrel!

Give us the fourth power gem!

Not until we lure you into the temple!

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

BORIS: [ON SPEAKERS] Okay, how do you not know this is a trap?

Maybe two evil heads are dumber than one.

Ugh! Just drop us!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Okay, you keep him distracted with the not-real gem,

and I'll sneak up from behind and grab the belt of ultimate power.

Distraction mode, a-go!

[expl*si*n]

BOTH: Give us that gem!

Come and get it, you two-headed...

wiggly... I'm sorry, what are you?

The most powerful creature/fish restaurant tycoon on Earth!

Cool, good to know.

[GRUNTING]

Stretch it out!

So, uh,

big episode, huh? Yeah, yeah.

[GRUNTING]

Stretch!

Uh...

Did you guys see Bullwinkle's Cornerearlier?

Not bad for a first run, am I right?

This is a totally real power gem, by the way,

and not part of an elaborate trap.

BULLWINKLE: [GASPS] "Abbreviation", that's a long word!

[JACKHAMMER DRILLING] Say, do you hear jack hammering

'cause I don't.

It's a trap!

But moose specifically said this was not a trap!

[CHUCKLES, SCREAMS]

[BOTH GRUNT]

[SNIFFS] Oh, it's just a rock.

Just a rock?

I don't want a rock!

And now you're gonna pay for that, because...

Nothing can stop our...

BOTH: Power gems!

NARRATOR: Sweet slithering sassafras!

The power belt was powering up.

Which meant Fearless Merger was bulking up!

And the ancient temple was breaking up!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

But now, maybe things are looking up!

Guardians!

What are you doing here?

Friends in kid show never quit.

Aw, how sweet.

Water, wind, and fire, go!

Not good.

You think you can stop the merger?

Nothing can stop the merger!

The pedestal!

Now we can't return the gems!

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

NARRATOR: Oh, no! As Fearless Merger

continued to abuse the power of the gems,

the Earth was shaking itself apart!

And now the whole world is about to be destroyed.

Remember when this story was just about free shrimp?

Uh, everything okay in here?

Everything is fine!

BOTH: Power!

Please! Let us return the gems to Earth.

Maybe you should listen to moose and squirrel on this one.

Da!You can't take over the world if there's no world to take over, dah link!

No! I'll never stop

because I have all the power,

and you have no power!

That's not true!

Because we have the power of friendship!

Yeah! Because when friends come together,

there's nothing more powerful on Earth.

Friends.

Ow! Ow, but okay.

Hah! You think friendship is more powerful

than the merger?

Uh, what's happening?

Uh, I think it's the friendship gem.

That's really just a rock, but maybe it's more!

Ugh, I never thought I'd say it,

but... we're doing the hold hands thing.

Yeah. Fearless Leader took this way too far.

[CLUCKS]

Ooh, Friendship, I'm so scared!

What is happening?

[GROANS] We have all the power.

BOTH: Friendship!

BOTH: [SCREAMING] No!

The Pedestal, it's back. Sorta.

NARRATOR: Then, with the power of friendship,

the three power gems of Wind, Water and Fire

were returned to the Earth,

and just in the nick of time to save it!

ALL: Phew!

ALL: Friendship! Yeah!

[CHEERING]

All right! We did it!

NARRATOR: And like in any quality kids show,

the power of good overcame the forces of evil.

[GROANS] I hate being on a kids show.

Come on, let's go get you some soup.

And talk about my next evil plot?

NATASHA: Sure we can, big guy.

Sure we can.

NARRATOR: As for Long Tom Lobster,

he decided to come out of ghost retirement,

and return to his former job as head of Long Tom Lobsters!

His first order of business...

was moving the board room to the first floor.

And second, he demoted Mr. Suitman to cheesy crab stick fry cook.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

NARRATOR: And to thank Rocky and Bullwinkle for saving the world,

Long Tom Lobster finally gave Rocky and Bullwinkle...

BOTH: Free shrimp for life!

Mm. I gotta say, Rock,

we were pretty heroic on this last adventure.

Wait a minute. Heroic!

I think I know what our next exciting adventure should be!

NARRATOR: Oh! That sounds like a super idea!

Tune in next time for the heroic hero adventures of...

Rocky and Bullwinkle!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]