12x05 - Fake It 'Til You Make It

[bunniefuu]

[Kim] All right, let's go.

Kanye is having his fashion show
at Madison Square Garden.

It was really important
for us to invite Scott.

I want him to feel like
if he needs to feel busy,

that it's with us
instead of resorting back

to unhealthy behavior.

[Kylie]
Did Scott tell you he's not coming?

No. He just said…

"I don't think so.

I'm not making more drama
and wanna be out of the press.

It's just going to say
me and you are back."

[upbeat music]

[Caitlyn] Kimmy!

[Kim] Hello.

[Caitlyn]
There's Mama. You look great, as usual.

[Kim] I should stand on the stairs.

That's quite all right.

-Even with the shoes on.
-To give you a hug.

-Yeah.
-Do you like our new house?

[Kim] I just had to get out of Mom's.

[Caitlyn] Yeah, being there
with all the people and everything.

-It's insane.
-Yeah, that's kind of

-how I felt.
-Yeah.

Well, the reason I came over,
I saw something,

and I immediately thought of you.

[Kim] Yeah?

-[Caitlyn] You wanna go see it?
-Yeah, it's…

-It's outside?
-Okay, it's outside.

Okay.

[Caitlyn humming]

[Caitlyn] You'll see why I thought of you.

[Kim] Okay.
[laughs]

[Caitlyn] All right?

-[laughs]
-Okay?

-[Caitlyn] The butt.
-[Kim] Oh, my god.

[Caitlyn laughs]

-Some place it's going to fit.
-Is it, like, a credit card swiper?

[Caitlyn] Now, wait a second. I know.

-And I thought of one other thing.
-That is so funny.

I could do this.

I could have this mounted,
like, right there.

[Kim] Oh, so you brought a wine glass

-with you.
-I brought a wine glass…

I didn't wanna put it on
unless you would like it.

I love this.

-That is amazing. Oh.
-Yeah, you see.

I think they need to shave off

a little bit of that vag*na there.

-[Caitlyn laughs]
-It's, like,

halfway in-between.

Yeah, I don't…
Uh, it kind of does, doesn't it?

Well, that's kind of…
You know me, I don't know…

[Kim laughs]

But anyway, yeah.

[laughs]

Maybe it's me. I don't know, you know?

-Uh, but…
-It's a mix.

-[Kim laughs]
-[Caitlyn] Yeah.

[Kim] Oh, my god,
I can't cry off all my makeup.

[laughter]

[theme music]

[lively music]

[crowd whooping]

[Kendall] I am in Rome with my mom

for the opening of Palazzo Fendi.

It's a super quick trip,

but we're gonna try
and get everything in one day

and be able to see as much as we can.

[crowd clamoring]

-[Kris] Hi. How are you?
-[Karl] Hi.

[Kris] Karl Lagerfeld is a fashion icon.

He's the creator, director, and designer

for Chanel and Fendi,

and somebody I'd looked up to
since I was a teenager.

You look so good.

-Thank you.
-Yeah. Really good.

[Kris] The first time I ever picked up
a fashion magazine,

I was obsessed.

I never thought that I would ever have

something beautiful that he designed,

and now here I am with Karl.

Amazing. Dream come true.

I love this pin on your tie.

He said they were cuff links,
and he lost one.

[Kris] Isn't it fabulous?

I was in Rome 30 years ago.

Kendall's never been to Rome.

[indistinct chatter]

Come on.

-[laughs]
-[Karl speaks indistinctly]

[crowd clamoring]

[upbeat music]

[Kris]
We need to get out in these streets.

Yeah, we can just walk around for a sec.

[light music]

[Kendall] I've honestly
never seen anything like Rome.

I think it's so amazing and beautiful.

The energy is insane.

And I'm really excited about it

'cause I don't get to be
a tourist very often.

[lively music]

-[Kris] There's a pap. We're dead.
-[Kendall] Are you serious?

[Kris] Yep. We should go.

Even a single paparazzi

can turn into 50 paparazzi

and ruin an entire day.

-[paparazzi 1] Kylie, Kylie!
-[paparazzi 2] Kylie, to your right.

[Kris] I think
everyone in my family has thick skin,

and everybody handles
the paparazzi differently,

but Kendall's the one kid
who's so sensitive towards it.

It really brings her down.

And I always feel so bad
when she feels trapped.

But it's better to leave now
before it gets too crazy.

[Kris] Okay, well, take a deep breath
and don't let it ruin…

Don't let somebody else
control your destiny.

[Kendall] No, that's really, really
[bleep] up and so annoying.

[upbeat music]

-[Khloé] What is this?
-[Scott] Let me see.

-Is this yours?
-[Kim] Um, no, but it should be.

[Scott] Ha!

[Khloé]
So, Lord, where the hell have you been?

[Kim] Yeah, what happened to you
at Kanye's fashion show?

[Scott] You know, I feel like
you guys have never really…

been doing what I'm doing with Kourt.

And, like, you know,
she doesn't really talk

and communicate that much.

I said, "Do you wanna go out
to dinner? Do you want…"

Uh, she'd only say, "No."

-[Kim] 'Cause she said…
-So I felt like

I was overstepping my boundaries.

-[Kim] Yeah.
-So I was like, you know what, dude,

I don't wanna go to this [bleep] show

that's gonna be
in every [bleep] publication,

and I'm gonna be standing there
like [bleep] the tagalong.

[Khloé] Initially, when Scott bailed

on Kanye's show in New York,
our first reaction was,

"Typical Scott who's partying somewhere,"

but hearing that he didn't wanna come

'cause he felt like a tagalong
and, like, the third wheel,

I feel really bad
for assuming the worst about him.

[Scott]
I just felt like, "What am I doing?"

Like, I don't wanna be, like,

chasing my old family around either.
It's hard for me.

-We've been together, ten years.
-But you're not chasing us.

Why do we have to even separate?

It's a big [bleep] divide.

[Scott] It's tough.

[Khloé] I do sympathize with Scott.

I do know how sensitive he is.

But he's been with us for ten years.

No matter what, I don't care

who Kourtney and Scott are
to each other in life,

he's always gonna be a part of our family.

I just never want Scott to feel, like,

that we've abandoned him.

[Scott] Kim, I don't know if you're aware,

but I told Kanye, like,

the reason why
I didn't make it to the show.

[Kim] Oh, that's cool.

I didn't wanna just, like, stand there
in the crowd, like, with her

and then everybody's, like, assuming,

like, "Oh, they're back together!"

-Yeah.
-[Khloé] Oh, so just let me and Lamar

have that title.

[Scott] I mean, yeah.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

[Kourtney]
Should we get this party started?

[Khloé] Yep.

[Don] Come on, light jog. Let's go.

Good.

Good. Touch the wall.

Going down. Squat.

Good, good. Flop, and… Good.

-[Khloé] So Scott came over the other day.
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

Like, I really miss him, and I just, like…

-[Don] Let's go, drop the bands…
-I miss hanging out with him.

-Let's go, right here.
-Okay.

-Let's go.
-[Khloé] And, like,

we've been reminiscing…
[panting]

…and I do wanna hang out with him more.

But what kind of things?

Just, like, go to lunch or this or that.

[Khloé] This is a complicated situation

because I know what Scott needs right now

is, like, reassurance,
and he needs to feel loved,

and that he's a part of our family.

But I also wanna be respectful
of Kourtney's feelings.

I don't want to hang out with him

and have something bad happen.

Like, where he wants to go out.

[Kourtney]
Right, I don't think he should hang out

in a going-out environment.

[Don]
Just jump up and come right back down.

-[Kourtney] Same leg?
-[Don] Same leg.

Three, two, let's go. One up, good.

I don't mind if you guys hang out.

I think it's good for him
to have positive people.

-Back. Up, down.
-[Khloé] Yeah.

That's right, good.

[Kourtney sighs]
I never wanna do that again.

Get rid of your stairs.

[laughs]

This guy's using anything we have.

[upbeat music]

[Kris] Hi, guys.

How are you?

-[Corey] It smells so good in this store.
-[woman] Thank you. Thank you.

[Corey] What do you wanna show me?

-'Cause this is, like…
-Look, these are like dog tags.

That's cool.

[Kris] Isn't this store cute?

These are cool.

[Kris] I love going antiquing.

And it's not exactly
what Corey wants to be doing.

Am I allowed to open this?

[Kris] Oh, this is so cute.

He likes to do things
a little more active.

[Corey] Oh, this is a good lamp.

[Kris] Oh, my god.

[Corey]
You're not, like, teaching me anything.

You're not showing me.
You're just lost in your own world.

You came shopping

-with the wrong person.
-Okay.

[Kris] But he loves to spend time
with me and the kids,

so he just, will pretend like
he enjoys being there.

[Kris] Aren't you having fun?

I'm with you. I'm always having fun.

-Mm-hm.
-It's the truth.

-I did discover one thing.
-You're so full of [bleep].

What?

You're my perfect little antique.

-Is that a compliment?
-Yeah, that's a compliment.

[Corey chuckles]

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Hi, guys.

-[Kourtney] Hi, Khlo. Hi, Lam.
-Well, hello.

-[Khloé] Do you remember Auntie Sheila?
-Yes.

-[laughter]
-Mwah.

-Ooh, I love you so much.
-I love you too.

-[Khloé] Uncle Randy. Hi, Uncle Randy!
-Hey.

Hello, baby. Aw. How are you?

[Khloé] Oh, oh, oh.
[blows raspberries]

-How are you?
-[Khloé] Hello. Hello.

[Khloé] Today is my dad's birthday.

We are having a huge Armenian dinner

at my mom's house,

which we do every year for his birthday.

We've invited the whole family
and his best friends,

my Uncle Randy and Auntie Sheila.

[Khloé] Scott!

Hi. Oh…

We invited Scott to come

'cause, you know,
we really want Scott to feel

that he's a part of our family
because he is.

[Khloé]
Wow, how good does this food look, guys?

So for those that don't know,

we are eating from Carousel,

which is my dad's
favorite Armenian restaurant.

We used to go there every year

with Uncle Randy and Auntie Sheila

with my dad on his birthday.

-[Kylie] He's probably here right now…
-He is here right now.

-[Randy] Oh, he's here with us.
-[Sheila] For sure.

-[Khloé] For sure.
-[Kris] Absolutely.

Scott, how the hell are you?

[Khloé] How's the new house?

Fine.

Oh, okay.

[Khloé]
And you're decorating it all yourself?

He's really good at it.

[Scott] It's definitely sad, you know,

and hard for me in many ways.

I really don't even know where I fit in

at this point with this family.

And, you know, Kourtney and I are still
in kind of a weird state.

And it doesn't make things easier

when we sit next to each other

because I don't really know how to act.

I mean, when you've been
with somebody for 10, 11 years,

and then all of a sudden
you're not, and you, like,

can't touch them a certain way
or talk to them a certain way,

or look at them a certain way.

It's… it's a lot of things to get used to.

[Randy] The food tastes the best tonight.

-[Khloé] It does, right?
-It's unbelievable.

[Kris clears throat]
And guess what?

Lamar, if you had not pulled through
your little thing,

we'd be going to the [bleep] Lobster
once a month.

So thank you for saving us from that.

-No, I mean…
-[overlapping chatter]

[Khloé] I, like…

I just don't understand
Scott's attitude right now.

I make an effort to have Scott here

and be interactive with the family,

but instead of focusing on the positive,

I feel like he's just dwelling
on this moody negative space right now.

[Kris] What the [bleep]?

If you had not pulled through
your little thing,

we'd be going to the [bleep] Lobster
once a month.

So thank you for saving us from that.

[Kris] What the [bleep]?

[Lamar] What's good?

[Scott] Nothing at all.

How's the new house?

It's all right.

You been sleeping all right?

Yeah, that's all I've been doing.

-That's good.
-Yeah.

I was super scared
when I came and saw you in the hospital.

-You remember everything?
-Yeah.

I can remember being scared,
half to death.

[Scott] Man.

I couldn't handle it.

I left. I was like, "I can't…
I can't see this man like this."

I just felt like
you were just dying, like, to talk,

but you couldn't,
and, like, you didn't know what to do…

I was like…
[groans]

I was, I was trapped in that… in my body.

Couldn't even say
"excuse me" or "thank you."

[Scott] So, like, how do you feel now?

-I mean, like…
-Taking it day by day.

-Thank god you're all right.
-Yeah.

Yeah.

-Trust me, I get it.
-Yeah.

[Scott] I've been there.

You know, I was in rehab for a while.

Yeah.

Like, I didn't have contact
with like, the world or whatever.

Now you got somebody at the house,

somebody's always, like, watching.

-Yeah.
-[Scott] It's a blessing.

[Lamar] Yeah.

When I first heard
about what happened to Lamar,

I mean, it was heartbreaking.

And it didn't seem like
he was gonna be able to…

turn his life around and come back.

And now that he is, it's, like…

it's a miracle.

He's got, like, another chance at life,

so it's pretty unbelievable,

and it's pretty unreal
that everybody, you know,

stuck beside him and was there for him.

You ain't calling any of your old friends?

Nah.

[Scott] That's the hardest part,

just getting rid of all the bad people,

-you know what I mean?
-[Lamar] Yeah.

I mean, I can't really take the risk,

you know what I'm saying?

I can't do… do that
to that girl, you know, man?

[Scott] Yeah.

It's scary, man.

Yeah.

[sighs]

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Oh, I [bleep] hate belly buttons.

[Kylie] They're super weird.

-Like, when I have to…
-I hate belly buttons.

…like, scrub my spray tan
out of my belly button.

[Khloé] Oh, that just freaks me out.

So…

[Kylie] I went out with Kourtney
last night and it was a mess.

I'm over not being able to go out

and just be, like, normal for a second.

-You know?
-Mm-hm.

Life is life,
but sometimes I just wanna be a kid.

I feel ya.

I just can't remember
what it's like to go out

and nobody know who I am.

Trust me, you're gonna hate it.

[laughs]

[Khloé] Literally, the last time
I've been to a mall…

has been years. Can't tell you.

Like, I would love to go
to the normal mall.

-Like, go to the food court.
-Walk around, yeah.

Like, that's what I used to do.

-So I totally get it.
-Yeah.

I definitely sympathize
with Kendall and Kylie

that they've never truly experienced

probably a normal teenage life.

But they have incredible opportunity

and so many perks.

And it's a gift and a curse

no matter which way you look at it.

So I wish there was something
I can do to help them.

Okay, so there's this guy
who does crazy prosthetics,

like, movie prosthetics,
like you could be whoever

-you wanna be, literally.
-[Kylie] Yes.

Do you want a big ass?
Do you wanna look pregnant?

Do you want to be a fat person?

You could do whatever.
It's not just like adding a nose.

-This is what I need.
-Yeah. I just--

To prosthetic it up and go out.

I was kind of joking
about doing prosthetics.

I didn't realize, you know,
how into it Kylie was gonna be.

What if we did those Hollywood tours?

Are you kidding?
That's something you want to do?

You are the Hollywood tour.

I know,
but, like, I wonder what they say, like,

how they talk about us,
like how they make us all seem.

Okay, if that's something you wanna do,

I won't discredit you.

We'll go on the Hollywood tour.

Now that she's into it, I mean,
let's do this and have fun.

-[phone rings]
-[grunts]

-[Kendall] Hey.
-Hey.

So, Kylie and I were talking about, um…

she just wishes that she could,
like, just live a normal life.

-Mm-hm.
-[Khloé] So, I know this guy

who does dope-ass prosthetics,

like, for movies, and, like, literally,

like, you will look completely different.

There's no way someone

-can know who you are.
-Oh, damn.

We're gonna have
the best time of our lives.

[Kylie] As long as we take a random car.

[Kendall]
Wear something very, like, basic.

[whispers]
Basic.

I know you know
what it's like to be basic.

-Thank you.
-[Khloé] I'm just kidding.

[laughter]

[lively music]

[Corey]
We're about to take this bottle down.

[Kris laughs]

Wow. I love it.

Are you starving?

I'm starved. Are y'all ready for wine?

-[Kris] Yeah, but you're not.
-Well, you are.

[laughter]

[Kris] Thank you.

[Corey]
So, I wanna bounce something off of you.

Tell me what you think.

I have been thinking
about, like, fun dates.

Like, back to your roots of fun,

not, like, we just go do this luxurious

and romantic, that's easy.

I'm gonna take us skating.

-Ice-skating?
-No. Roller-skating.

-No, we ice-skate.
-[Corey] The real skating.

In my community, there was
no ice-skating and all that.

We just… Four wheels. Eight total.

[Corey] And you did your thing.

Not romantic.

-Yeah, it is romantic.
-[MJ] No, ice-skating.

You're from La Jolla.

I'll, I'll… I see
roller-skating as romantic.

[Kris] Corey is wanting to roller-skate,

but because I had knee surgery years ago,

the last thing I wanna do is
reinjure my knee.

So I'm really not a big fan.

-Well, good luck with that.
-No, it's gonna happen.

I wanna take her…

-Thanks, Mom.
-See where that'll get you.

[Corey] No, it's gonna…

It's gonna get me
to the next level of love,

-I promise you.
-[murmurs]

[Corey] Yeah, I know.

[upbeat music]

[Kourtney] Khloé, how many pillows

do you need on your bed?

I'm very confused by this.

Can I take a photo?

How does it inconvenience your life?

Taking a photo for what?

-[Kourtney] I'm gonna post it.
-Kourt!

-How many pillows--
-[Khloé] How many do I…

-should I have?
-No, no, no.

How many pillows do you sleep with?

[Khloé] All of those.

Oh, my god, you have so many pillows.

-[Khloé] Oh, shut up.
-[Kourtney] That's what I just said!

-[laughs]
-[phone chimes]

Oh, this isn't real.

[Kourtney] I saw that.

He has an appearance in Vegas today.

This is what I really dislike about Scott.

So, like, the Armenian dinner
for Dad's birthday.

He is…

[weakly, breathily]
Hi.

-[Kim] Moping.
-[Khloé] The most negative,

depressed victim.

He acts like he tries so hard

to actually play it straight
for even a month,

but, like, he comes and plays this victim.

"I lost my family.
You guys gave up on me."

How are you trying?

I was like, "Scott, I'm gonna punch you

in your [bleep] jugular,
because of your depressed,

-negative energy."
-Maybe he's depressed.

No, but…

-[Kourtney] Um, I don't like it.
-He's not making an effort whatsoever

to come to Mom's,
the little smirk on his face.

I said he's like,

"I lost my whole family,
I don't have any siblings."

I go, "You do.

You have all my family members.

No one's ditching you.

They just get frustrated
with you because you--"

I text him all the time.

He doesn't respond back. "Oh, I forgot.

I'm just not in a good place."

And then I talk,
and the same conversation.

[imitates Scott]
"What can I do to get Kourt back?"

I go, "Scott, you're not trying at all."

Yeah.

[Khloé] I totally get
that Kourtney and Scott's relationship

is a work in progress, but…

Scott needs to be more accountable.

He tends to shift the blame all the time.

And if you want a relationship with us

and if you want a relationship
with this family,

you have to try as well.

[upbeat music]

[Kendall] Whoa.

-[Khloé] I know, right?
-[Shelby] Ah, yeah, come on in.

So you were thinking
about being a redhead?

-Kind of nerdy, with some freckles?
-[Kendall] Yeah.

Yeah. And pregnant.

Would you like to try on
a pregnancy belly?

[Kendall] Sure.

[Khloé] Today, Kendall and Kylie and I
are getting fitted

for the molds for our face

so we can go completely undercover

and nobody will recognize us tomorrow.

It's just gonna be such an experience,
we never gonna forget it.

[Shelby]
I think this is a good look for you.

[Kendall]
I should get, like, a tramp stamp

-and, like, put a big…
-But who's gonna see your [bleep]?

[Kendall] I'll wear a crop top.

-As a pregnant person?
-[Kendall] Yeah.

[Khloé] I wanna be, like, an old lady…

-[Shelby] Mm-hm.
-…so I heard that's, like, a big deal.

Age makeup, so it's, like,

it's a little bit more complicated.

[Shelby]
To do that, we would need to life cast

-your whole face…
-[Khloé] Okay.

-…and your neck as well.
-[Khloé] Okay.

Because we can get
that little neck wattle.

[Khloé] Oh.

-[Shelby] Then we'll do--
-Everything that I laser away.

[Khloé]
The only way that Kendall and Kylie

will actually really get to know

what it's like to live a normal life

and go unnoticed and under the radar

is if they fully transform
into somebody else.

And, of course,

I don't want Kendall and Kylie
to do this alone.

I wanna try this.

I am a big kid at heart. I wanna have fun.

Okay, I'm gonna not be able
to talk to you soon.

[Khloé] Better enjoy this.

[Kourtney] Khlo, I'm gonna take a pic.
[laughs]

Eyebrows on fleek.

[Kourtney] Oh, hi.

[Kylie]
Oh, I'm gonna have an anxiety att*ck.

I don't know if I can do this.

[Kourtney]
We're not covering your whole head.

What do you feel, like, you missed out on,

like, in your childhood?

-You just feel like--
-I missed out on being normal.

Being able to feel, like,
I can, like, get out of the car

and nobody's staring at me.

Do you know what I mean?

-Yeah. Yeah.
-[Kylie] That's what I missed out on.

Totally.

I realize that it is kind of crazy

that we have to go through all of this

just to go out and be normal,

but it's worth it, I think. I hope.

[woman] Here we go.

So, what we'll do is fill it

-with a stone material…
-[Khloé] Awesome.

…and then we have a complete,
perfect copy of your face.

Ooh. Awesome.

Kourt, where's my cool pictures?

[Kylie] You really are a ge…
I'm really impressed right now.

[Kourtney] I didn't wanna say it during,
but I would have been so claustrophobic.

-[Khloé] That looks very scary.
-[Kourtney] Yep.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé in British accent]
Hello, Lord.

-[Scott] Khloverfield.
-[Khloé] Hello.

Come on down.

[Khloé] It's so nice.

[Scott] It's like the Hamptons.

Yeah. Well, don't get too crazy.

So, how are you feeling?

-Better?
-Yeah.

You were pretty down the other day.

I mean, I feel like
I always have ups and downs,

you know what I mean?
That's what kind of sucks about me.

It's like one day I feel good,
one day I feel bad,

and it's, like, it's tough.

But then, like, you… Like, it's, like,

oh, you're not around
and you get sad, so, like,

we invite you around. And I felt like,

it was almost like… I felt like someone,

like, held a g*n to your head to be there.

[Khloé] We want you to come around us

and, like, just not have,
like, your guards up.

If you are trying to have your own life

and be separated, then that's fine too.

[gloomy music]

-[Scott] Absolutely not.
-Good.

It's just, I think sometimes,

it's difficult being around, like…

you and everybody,

because it reminds me of, like, old times.

It's hard. It's like,
one transition to another,

it's kind of like culture shock,
like, real quick.

You know what I mean?

I definitely get that it's tough,

and I'm not trying to say it's not.

But we invited you
to my dad's birthday dinner…

-I know.
-…because we wanted you…

-And trust me…
-…to be there,

and I wanted you to feel, like, involved

and you're part of the family
'cause you are.

I want you to start hanging out more

and to start smiling more

and not be so moody.

For sure. And I appreciate it.

[Scott] Hearing Khloé tell me
that she is inviting me

because they want me there,

it does make me realize that

it's not just out of pity and…

it is truthful.

Just because Kourtney and I
are not together doesn't mean

all friendships are broken.

I mean, Khloé and I were,
like, as close as you could be.

I mean, she was basically like
a best friend to me.

And I realize that we still have that.

I'd rather be there and, like,

have that little bit of sadness

-than not be there at all.
-Right.

I moved into the same neighborhood

to be close to your mom.

-Like… you know?
-Yeah.

I could live in Beverly Hills,
but I was, like,

I wanna be close to the kids
and everybody and…

Well, I'm proud of you

for you getting a house over here, and…

[Khloé] I love you.

[Scott] Right back at you, kid.

[electronic music]

[Kylie] Does mine still have the lump?

[Shelby]
Um, we have two nose options for you,

so either one of those noses.

[Kylie] Can she not talk?

-Oh, she can talk.
-Mm-hm?

-Yeah.
-Hi, Kyles.

[Kylie] Are you excited for this?

Mm-hm.

-Khloé, this is so great.
-[Khloé] I have no idea

what I look like.

I really thought this was
my real neck, Kendall,

-and I almost spiraled.
-[laughter]

I was like… that cannot be my real neck.

I am super excited to do prosthetics.

I think it's such a funny idea,

and I think we can have
so much fun with it

if we play it right.

We're gonna look so random.
Are we gonna be, like,

the two god granddaughters of Khloé?

[Khloé] I'm your grandmother.

And you guys are
my [bleep] up grandchildren.

[laughter]

Guys, we have to also think of our names.

My name is Lulu.

-[Kylie] Lulu?
-[Kendall] Your name should be Dolores.

-[laughter]
-[man] Grandma Dolores.

-Take this… There you go.
-[Kylie] Khloé.

Like, look at her baggy cheeks.

Look at her nose! Kylie!

[laughing]

[Kylie] Look at your nose.

-Khloé!
-Yeah, I was gonna say

you shouldn't be talking about me.

[laughter]

Khloé's look is so ridiculous.

She looks so legit and real.

[Kylie]
Khloé, what's your old woman voice?

[Khloé in old lady voice]
Dolores? Dolores?

I got to be Southern now.

[laughing]

I was under the impression
that all three of us

were doing a complete transformation.

Like, I literally have fake eyebrows,

fake forehead, nose, cheeks, jowls,

and Kendall and Kylie have
fake noses and ears.

I feel like I'm the only one
doing a complete transformation.

Maybe I'm just jealous.

I don't wanna be the old lady.

Man, this is tough.

[Kendall]
I feel like we all look so different.

-[Kylie] Yeah, exactly.
-You don't have any bras

that would fit me.

No, I wouldn't.
You don't need a bra, though.

Oh, so grandmas just show
their nipples now?

-[Kendall] Yes, Khloé.
-[laughter]

[upbeat music]

[Kim] What's all this art?

Um, I bought the little drum table,

and I wanna put a piece of glass
on the little table.

Would you do a one-inch bevel,

or would you do the quarter-inch bevel

around the glass
that was done in that period?

-Probably that period.
-Yeah.

[Kim] I heard
you didn't wanna go roller-skating.

[Corey] Yeah, why is that?

I'm 60 years old.

-[Kim] Yeah.
-I've had knee surgery.

And I'm a grandma.

And I don't think grandmas
should be roller-skating.

[Corey] I think it will be good exercise.

[Kris] What if I break my arm?

Do you remember
when Khloé was rollerblading

when she was little,
and she broke her arm?

That could happen to me, your mother.

I know it's not gonna happen to you
'cause you know how to ski

and you know how to ice-skate.
You will not fall.

I don't have any skates.
I do not have skates.

-[Kim] You rent them there.
-[Corey] No, no, no, no.

I'm getting her crispy, brand-new,

black-on-black speed skates.

[Kris] "Speed skates"?

You're getting a little carried away.

-You're gonna like it.
-And, oh, I don't. Okay.

[Corey] Stop, stop a minute.

[Kim] My mom and Corey's relationship
is definitely,

like, 90 percent what my mom wants to do,

and Corey's so easy
and just goes with the flow.

But she never really bends for him,

and I feel like we all need
to nudge her sometimes,

and just be like,
"You've gotta do this for your man."

-[Kris] I don't have a--
-[Corey] Stop, stop.

-[blabbering]
-…large attention span…

[Kris] I can't even take this anymore.

[Kris]
You're getting a little carried away.

-[Corey] You're gonna like it.
-And, I don't. Okay.

[Corey] Stop, stop a minute.

-[Kris] I don't have a--
-Stop.

-[blabbering]
-…large attention span.

[Kris] I can't even take this anymore.

I mean, the point is,

it's just like doing something
that Corey really loves.

[Corey] How about that?

-[Kim] You'll be fine.
-I will go roller-skating

with you guys.

And I'll go dip my toe in the water…

because it's something you like to do,

and then I'll watch you guys skate.

-How about that?
-Yeah, just compromise.

And I'm gonna laugh a lot
if you don't get off the floor,

and you have more fun than the kids.

[Kris laughs]

-[Kris] Well, I'll go.
-Thank you.

-All right.
-Love you, Kris.

[Kris] Oh, love you too, babe.

[upbeat music]

[elevator bell dings]

[Khloé] Kids these days are just fast.

-I'm like a…
-[chuckles]

I'm a turtle.

[Kylie] What if someone asks us?

Like, "Are you Kylie Jenner?"

-[Kendall] Be like, "Oh, my god, no…"
-Say, "oh, my god,

I get that all the time!"

-[elevator dings]
-I… I get that all the time.

And that is such a compliment, though.

[Khloé]
Hold on, y'all, your grandma is coming!

My name is Dolores,
but you can call me Dottie.

[Khloé] You know I got a bad hip.

I was born in 1937.

I'm not good at math,
so I have no idea how old I am.

And I got two grandchildren.

Can't remember their names.

-[Kendall] Do you want me to drive?
-[Khloé] Yes.

You know I can't drive with my hip.

Kendall and I are Sam and Natalie Johnson

from Albuquerque.

[Khloé] Natalie, you are just
the sweetest little soul.

We rented a car.

We have our accents.

We're about to do this.

[Khloé] Oh, my god, hold on.

Hold on, hold on.

I'm coming!

[Khloé laughs]
I'm coming!

I hope you don't go into labor, though.

I know. I'm only seven months, though,

so if I go into labor any time soon…

-Then that baby's [bleep].
-Yeah.

[Khloé]
Yeah, that's gonna be real ugly, though.

Ooh, this thing is speedy.

Such a blessing to be
in Los Angeles, California.

-[phone rings]
-[Khloé] Lammy.

Lammy, it's Khloé.
[laughs]

-[Lamar] Hello, ladies.
-[bleep]

Look at us.

It's Kylie and it's Kendall.

-I look like [bleep].
-What the [bleep] you got on your face?

[laughter]

Lammy! Why does your face
look so disturbed?

[Lamar] 'Cause you look [bleep] up.

[Khloé] Do you think I look pretty?

[Lamar] Pretty ugly.

Thanks.

[Lamar] I could not tell it was you, girl.

[Khloé] You can't tell it's me?

Well, son, I'll call you
a little bit later, okay?

[Lamar]
All right, call me when you're done.

-Bye, Lam.
-[Lamar] Bye.

[Khloé] He was so confused, you guys.

Look at that pretty girl… Oh, god.

-[Kylie] Don't look at us.
-It's fine.

We can totally creep people out,
and no one will ever know.

Hey, honey, hey!

-[Khloé] We're on a Hollywood tour.
-[Kendall] Khloé!

[Khloé] Oh, bye.

[laughing]

Hollywood Tours?

-Oh, my god, that's where we're going?
-Shut the [bleep] up.

[Kendall] This is what we're getting on.

[Khloé] Oh, my god.

[Kylie] I'm really embarrassed and scared.

I'm scared, too, all of a sudden.

-I don't know.
-[laughter]

I'm so nervous.

I feel like we look so crazy
and I'm really scared

the paparazzi are gonna find us.

[Kendall] Grandma, can we get Subway?

[Khloé] Yes.

Can I get, uh, turkey, please?

Do you want it toasted or no?

-No, just plain.
-Mayo and salt.

And then, um,

-can we get mayo on both?
-Mayo and salt.

-[Khloé] And pickles?
-[Kendall] Yeah.

[Khloé] Oh.

[Kendall] Oh, my god, there's a paparazzi.

-[Khloé] Yeah.
-[Kylie] Where?

[Kendall] Right straight ahead, I'm not…

-I'm done.
-[Khloé] There is a paparazzi.

What do I do?

[Kendall] We are not even
at the tour for two seconds,

and all of a sudden, I notice paparazzi.

[Kendall]
We're going home. This is a fail.

Honestly, I am so mad.

We sat in makeup for hours.

This is the worst-case scenario.

[Khloé] He's right there on his phone.

I don't know how paparazzi

even know we're at this location.

[Khloé] Oh, my god.

[Kylie] Khloé, just act in character,
act in character.

[Khloé] Kendall, Kylie, and I bolt
for the tourist vehicle,

but the paparazzi doesn't realize

it's Kendall, Kylie, and I.

[guide]
All right, everybody, welcome aboard!

[Kendall] You guys…

[indistinct chatter]

I'm going, I'm going home. I'm going home.

This is the most embarrassing thing
I've ever…

-[laughter]
-Oh, my god.

[Khloé] This was your [bleep] idea…

You guys, come on.

This is so [bleep].

This is so embarrassing.

[Khloé]
I don't know why Kendall is freaking out.

There's one guy.

I've spent, like, six hours
in prosthetic makeup.

I'm still going on this tour.

Welcome to Hollywood, everybody.

My name is Doug,
I'm gonna be your tour guide today.

We're gonna do a little Hollywood tour.

[Doug]
Well, I always feel it's good to start

a glamorous Hollywood tour
right next to a 7-Eleven.

-It's good stuff, right?
-[Kylie] I think I'm gonna Snapchat

before the paparazzi sells the photos.

Yeah, do it, do it, do it.

-They can't get the first look.
-[Kendall] Do it, do it, do it.

[Kylie] We are just gonna post
on social media

so that we get the story out there first,

and they can't twist it
into their own words.

Little bit of selfie love
back there going on.

[Doug] Good selfie time.

Me and my granddaughters.

[Kendall] It's the old Kylie.

[giggling]

[Doug] Right away, we're gonna check out

a pretty amazing studio here.

Does that seem like
a big old Hollywood movie studio?

-[Khloé] No.
-[Doug] No.

That's actually a casting office.

That's where you go with your headshot,

trying to get work,

-trying to b*at out 300 people.
-Oh! Sam!

That's what you could do!

[Khloé] As uncomfortable as we all are,
and trust me,

Dolores is not happy.

I just know I have to, like,
put it up in high gear

and I have to make the best of it,

and I have to make them have fun.

-[Khloé] Hi!
-[Doug] The Walk of Fame down…

We've never been to California before.

[Doug]
You've never been to California before?

-No, sir.
-[Doug] Oh, good.

-Did you drive out here or fly?
-[Khloé] Oh, I can't go on a plane.

I got metal pins all in my legs…

[Doug] Oh, you have metal pins?

-Oh, yeah.
-Okay.

-And a bad hip.
-You'll get a hip replacement, right?

-I've already got one, sir.
-You had several.

Several.

[Doug]
Skybar. That is where Cindy Crawford

met her husband Rande Gerber.

You remember Cindy Crawford,
the beautiful supermodel?

-She's still beautiful.
-[Doug] I know.

Her husband, Rande Gerber,
created the Skybar

and it also netted him his bride.

[Khloé] He nutted in his bride?

That's very inappropriate, sir.

I'm glad it's Kylie and Khloé
doing this with me

'cause I feel like
any other sister wouldn't have,

like, taken it like Khloé would.

[Doug] How about Chin Chin,
one of my favorite spots.

Apparently, Kim Kardashian's
favorite place over there.

She loves to get the Chinese chicken.

Kardashians? The Kartrashians?

I don't wanna talk
about those Kartrashians.

[Doug] Did you guys hear about this,

when Tyga wouldn't let
Paul McCartney into the club?

Remember, the party? Right here.

[Kendall and Kylie] That's not true!

-[Kylie] That's not true.
-[Kendall] You're wrong!

No, it's true 'cause I read it
on the Internet.

So I know it has to be true.

-That's not true.
-[Doug] It's so true.

-[car horn honks]
-[woman] Kendall!

-[bleep]
-Appears to have gone south.

[bleep]. What should we do?

[women] Hi!

-[sisters giggling]
-[Doug] Are you guys YouTube stars?

She's impregnated
by a really popular YouTube sensation.

[Doug] You were impregnated by a pop… oh.

Even though it didn't go how we expected,

we're still having so much fun.

[Doug] Ma'am from Albuquerque,
have you ever seen pictures

of the Beverly Hills Hotel?

-[Kendall] Seen pictures.
-[Khloé] For sure.

But more and more paparazzi and fans
are getting a little crazy.

You want to jump?

Can we jump out?

[Kylie] So we decided to jump off the bus

and sprint to the Beverly Hills Hotel

because the paparazzi
aren't allowed there.

[Khloé] Cover your face and just run.

-[sisters giggling]
-Run on subway.

-[Kendall] Bye, guys.
-[tourists] Bye.

-Bye, guys.
-[Doug] Thank you, guys.

Take care, ma'ams from Albuquerque.

[sisters laughing]

[Kendall] Khloé, run!

[all laughing]

[upbeat music]

[all laughing]

Wait. Should I take off my wig?

Yeah, do it.

Whoa!

[laughter]

[Khloé] You know that tobacco commercial?

[in deep voice]
"Smoking kills.

How much are
your cigarettes worth, people?"

[Kylie] Khloé ripping her face off

is the funniest thing
I've ever seen. For sure.

Oh, my god!

That's real hair!

Aah!

[laughter]

That's the lady I wanna be.

That was the old lady
I wanted to be with her hair.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey! Wait!

I love you, lady.

I love you too, though.

Okay! Wigs for everyone.

Wigs!

Oh, my god, the paparazzi!

[all shrieking, laughing]

What dicks are you all?

They got me like that

and you gotta look like normal old Kylie?

This is what happens
when you live a life of purity

and non-alcoholic beverages.

Would you guys rather have done this

-with Kourtney, Kim, or Khloé?
-You! Oh, my god!

I've never Snapchatted so much in my life.

Oh, dude.

You guys, learn from my mistakes, people!

I am so happy Khloé did this with us.

She made this such a fun experience.

This side is still fat, though,
but this is…

We're really about to get out like this?

-No.
-Whatever.

-Fine. Go. Go, go. They're done.
-Khloé, run.

[Khloé] Someone get the key.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé on video] That's real hair!

Aah!

Hey, guys. Is this a good angle?

[laughter]

-Ah, ah, ah!
-[knocks on door]

-[Kim] Hello?
-[Kylie] We had the best

worst day of our lives.

[Kylie and Kendall]
Yeah, the best worst day ever.

[Kendall] You have to watch this,
you are going to cry.

[Scott] Khloé, you look like a troll.

She just looks like a slob.

[Kim] You guys went crazy.

[Khloé] Hey, guys. Is this a good angle?

[laughter]

[Scott] You know, I feel like this…

kind of shows me
how much I've missed out on and,

you know, I think I need
to start thinking more positively.

And, going forward,
I'm definitely gonna put

much more effort into being a part of…

some of these great times.

[Kendall] We were like, "Dude, pull over
to the Beverly Hills Hotel."

So he pulls over and we're like,
"All right, we're getting out!"

And I hop over--
the paps get a photo of me

jumping out of the Hollywood tourist car.

It was so embarrassing.

Was that not the funniest day of life?

Did that experience, like,
make you feel, like,

any kind of way?

[Khloé] Subway was interesting.

Because no one took
one picture of us in Subway.

There were all these kids
and I saw everyone

taking Inst…
photos of themselves, selfies.

And no one paid attention to us
and I was like, "That's so cool.

To, like, go into a restaurant
and no one bothers you?"

-[Kim] Yeah.
-Even the guy was like,

"What would you like?" And we were like…

[Kendall] Just life.

[Kim]
I mean, I think you just gotta, like,

surrender to the fact that…

paparazzi is not going anywhere.

[Kendall] We're all so blessed,

but I do feel like Kim is somewhat right,

and if paparazzi really are gonna be

this much a part of our lives,

then laughing about it makes it
a little bit easier.

They were standing next to the bus
and didn't take photos of us.

And we were sitting like… Okay.

[Kylie] And then Kendall walked out
of the Subway or whatever

and they all ran up to…

And we were dying, like, [bleep].

[Kendall] This trip was so ridiculous,

and we will be laughing about it
for a really long time.

Um, can someone take my face off?

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

[Kris] Hi, P!

[Kourtney] Hi.

[Kris] You look so cute.

[Corey] So everybody be prepared to fall.

[Kris] I have a bad knee, though.

You got a bad everything.

[North] Is Lovey going with us?

Yeah, Lovey's coming too.

I think the last time I roller-skated,

I was ten years old.

So I'm really not in the mood
for an injury and I'm nervous.

Okay, you ready to rock and roll?

Whoo!

P, you're doing so good.

[Kris] I can't even get my feet to go
in the right direction.

Ah! [bleep]

You scared me!

Aah!

[Kris] Oh, shi… Whoa…

[bleep].

-I broke your fall.
-Oh!

[Kim] See, Corey's suggestions are fun,
aren't they?

You're not gonna take me down with you.

[Kris] I knew I was gonna fall. I knew it.

But I'm not hurt,

and as long as Corey's having fun,

there's nothing in the world
that matters more to me.

[Corey]
You are especially looking good on skates.

[laughs]

I definitely don't like to be
outside of my comfort zone.

But you know what?

I must say that it's been really great

being here with Corey

and just spending some time
doing something

that makes Corey really happy.

It was a good date that you organized.

-Well, I…
-[Kris] A really good date.

I appreciate
you trying something different

-and out of your comfort zone.
-[Kris laughs]

But this is cool.
This is what I like to do.

[Corey]
This is what I used to do two days a week.

-Put my right hand in my pocket.
-Oh, my god.

I had my 10 dollars
for my hot dogs and my drinks.

And then the other little young lady

that needs something to drink,
she was a little parched.

Uh-huh. So you're like
a 10-dollar date guy.

[Corey] No, I would loan a girl 50 cents

if they needed 50 cents or a dollar.

Mm.

Will you loan me a dollar?

-'Cause I need to call us…
-I would loan you my life.

-…a Slurpee.
-I will loan you my life.

[Kim] Next on
Keeping Up with the Kardashians…

I was thinking of getting
one of those people that look like Kim.

-[Jonathan] What are you doing here?
-What are you doing here?

[Jonathan] Well, this is Camilla.

What is going on?

[Jonathan] This is awkward.

You know how everybody says
there's, like, that Kardashian curse?

-For the men?
-Yes.

You do have a curse.

Your reading is talking
about working with a rooster.

We're gonna, like,
proceed with our divorce.

I think Lamar needs us as a family.

But Lamar and I are not together.