12x06 - The Kardashian Curse

[bunniefuu]

[electronic music]

[Khloé] Hello.

Oh, new art.

Oh, Karim.

Hello, Mr. Montana.

-You remember French.
-Hi.

[Khloé] Doesn't this remind you
of the Hamptons, this house?

-Yeah.
-But we're not in the Hamptons

and none of us are together anymore.

-Oh, my god.
-Oh, man, what'd you do, Karim?

[laughs]

[Scott] I brought you together once,

-I'm gonna bring you back.
-When did you ever bring…

Oh, no.

[Scott] I introduced you, guys.

-No.
-Nah, he walked right up to me.

He was like, "You trying
to [bleep] my sister, huh?"

[Scott laughs]
Yeah.

And I said, "Just come through me."

[Khloé chuckles]

-[Khloé] Do you like my nails?
-[French] I love 'em.

I like the little gold splash
you got on there.

[Scott] Hey, look at the way
he just touched your hand.

[French] Of course. All the time.

He didn't care about those nails.
That's a real man.

-[Khloé] Oh, god.
-Why is she hating on you?

She's always been a hater.

Well, this has been a lovely surprise,
seeing you here.

-Thanks for dropping by.
-Yeah.

[all laugh]

You're gonna have a fun night. Karim.

Aw.

-[Scott whoops]
-[Khloé] It's been real. Okay.

-Don't touch me. Too low.
-[Scott] There you go.

-That's the way to start the day.
-That thing's still fat.

[Khloé] Okay. Thank you very much.

-[Scott whoops]
-[Khloé] It's been real.

Yo, talk to Kourt.

-Let's make this all work out.
-[Khloé] All right.

[Khloé] Double dates. Perfect.

I think we're back.

[both laughing]

[theme music]

[upbeat music]

-[phone rings]
-[Khloé] Yes?

[Malika] Khlo, I went
and bought these shoes

'cause I was like, "Oh,
my dress is just so bland,

so let me get a [bleep] birthday shoe."

But did you even think, Malika,

about the fact that the back of your dress

has a [bleep] gold zipper
going down the back of it?

Hmm. And the shoes are silver.

Hellur.

Kimmy, this is a disaster.

Look at this.

Don't trip, chocolate chip.

-[Malika] What do I do?
-I don't have a solution.

So I don't know what you want me to do.

I mean, look, neither do I.

Call me back in 30. Bye.

Can't handle everybody.

-[phone beeping]
-[Khloé] Um…

Did Lam tell you
anything about our talk today?

-No.
-No?

We're gonna, like,
proceed with our divorce.

-Yeah.
-We were talking about it,

and then he was like, "Okay, well,
can you wait to decide this?"

I was like, "No, no, no.
We've already decided this."

"We talk about this all the time."

"It's not a question. It's happening."

I go, "We don't, like…
This isn't a married couple."

I go, "We're just wasting time."

[Khloé] Lamar's put me
through some [bleep].

I need this marriage to end
because it's depressing,

but no one really checks on me.

Everyone just checks on Lamar
and how Lamar's doing,

and that's hard for me.

Does anyone care for my well-being
or, like, my best interest?

Like, I want a real relationship, like…

What is there to think about?

[Kim] What a life.

[Khloé] So miserable.

[upbeat music]

[Jonathan] Kourt, show me the wallpaper.

[Kourtney] Okay, so the countertop's done.

And then, this is the wallpaper
that we're doing in here.

It's literally just suede.

I love it. I feel like
you've been doing this room

-for a long time though.
-I know.

-[Kim] This looks so nice.
-Are you being sarcastic?

[Kim] No.

[Kourtney] Look, this is the walls.

Then we're wrapping the bar in this.

Don't make it too comfortable in here
'cause she won't wanna leave.

Could we please do something tonight?

Can you please
get out of this, like, garb?

I moved here for, like, ten days a month

and, like, there's no plans.

I just, like… After you have a baby,

you just, like, you wanna stay home.

[Kourtney] You do wanna stay home

-after you've had a baby.
-[Kim] But I stayed… I stayed…

You're the worst person
to have this argument with her.

No, 'cause I would say
there's, like, a six-month period

where, like, you just want to stay home.

[Kim] Yeah.

[Kourtney] I totally understand

being in mom mode and just having a baby,

but Jonathan's in town,

and he's used to Kim

just hanging out with him whenever.

[Jonathan] When are you gonna be back
to normal? Just give me that.

Stay in mom land as long as you can

-because it's the best place to be…
-[Jonathan] Kourtney, please…

Ugh, this is the worst person
to have an argument.

-And you only have the excuse…
-When are you ready to go out?

…for so little of time.

[Jonathan] Look, I'm not trying
to go to the club.

We're just trying to go to dinner.

I don't know what to tell you.

I used to make fun
of Kourtney all the time

for just wanting to stay home
and do mom things.

And now it's like, that's all I wanna do.

It's just, like, too much.
I just wanna, like, sit home.

Changing diapers,

-being a mother.
-Yeah.

-[Jonathan] A good wife.
-Yeah.

Everything that I hate.

[laughs]

[electronic music]

[Mason] Kylie?

-[Kylie] Yeah?
-[Mason] Can you open this?

-[Kylie] Of course.
-[Scott] Yeah, all right,

I don't need the whole clan.

This thing is crazy, right?

[Mason] I wanna look
what's in the Easter basket.

I bet you do.

Guy's funny.

Once he gets out of the house,
he just wants to find snacks.

-Really?
-[Scott] Yeah, 'cause Mom

-doesn't let him eat anything.
-[Kylie] Yeah.

But he can't have gluten.

[Scott] Well, says, like, weird doctors.

Like, spiritual advisor types.

I like that though.

I don't.

-You ever been to a psychic?
-[Kylie] No.

-[Scott] I kind of wanna go to one.
-Me, too.

I wanna go to someone who tells me
about, like, my past lives and, like…

[Scott] That's what I'm saying.
Something like that.

Because you know
how everybody says there's, like,

-that Kardashian curse to the men?
-[quietly] Yes.

-[French] Oh, my god.
-I don't know, it's kinda scary,

but it's kind of dope,

like, if it actually, like,
had truth to it.

Yeah.

[Kylie] The Kardashian curse is

every male figure that comes

and dates a Kardashian,

their life kind of just
goes downhill after that.

I am not against

exploring this more with Scott.

-You got to go to Miss Cleo.
-She's alive?

Yeah, well, how did I become
the dog whisperer?

[Kylie] I will say Norman loves men.

-Like, he loves men.
-[Mason] Well, we're not animals.

There's three animals in the house.

No, we ain't animals.

[laughs]

[Mason] And I know how to spell "cat."

C-A-T.

[French whoops]

-How cool is he?
-Yeah, no, the best.

[Kylie] He's so cool.

[upbeat music]

[Kourtney] Jonathan.

[Jonathan] Whoa.

You really dressed up for me.

What time is the royal ball?

[Kourtney] Okay. These people
were yelling "goals" at me,

and I could not understand
what they were saying.

I'm like, "Why are they screaming 'gold'?"

[all laugh]

And they were like, "Goals. Your goals."

And I was like, "Wait, I'm gold?"

[Jonathan] Yeah, they wanna be you, baby.

Your goals. Wait, I have to tell you,

Kim's really been pissing me off.

She's literally turned into the old you.

Remember? You called me, "Mommy, Mommy."

[Jonathan] All the time.

So then she's not only that, she's worse.

So Kim has turned
into, like, a mother from hell.

A mother stays home with her kids.

A mother from hell would go out with you.

[Jonathan] Well, she's a mother
from hell to me.

Did you think that she was
gonna be going out

every Friday, Saturday, Sunday?

[Jonathan] Like, I'm there,

and she needs to give me
some attention when I'm there.

-Okay.
-[Kourtney] She just had a baby.

-She went from one to two kids.
-[Jonathan] Kourtney, listen to me.

I was thinking of getting one
of those people that look like Kim.

[Simon] Right. Like a look-alike?

[Jonathan] Like a look-alike. But, like…

-Like a look-alike? [laughs]
-…kinda looks like her.

-[Kourtney] Like a look-alike?
-Like a look-alike?

[Jonathan] Like a look-alike.
And I'm gonna go out with her,

and I know that we're
gonna get photographed,

and she's gonna be so pissed.

[Simon] Should be constant Snapchats too.

-Oh, I'm gonna Snapchat…
-[Simon] BFFs, squad goals.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-[Simon] Everything.

[Jonathan] I think it'd be
the funniest thing.

-Do you think Kim will care?
-[Jonathan] Yeah.

Bitch is [bleep] sitting at home
with her kids, being a mother,

while I'm trying to go hit the town.

-I'm ready to trade her in, for you.
-[laughs]

-Because you are, you are--
-Who wouldn't be?

-You are the funny one now.
-I can't blame you. "Now"?

Was Kim ever funny?

[Simon laughs]

[upbeat music]

[Kim] I feel like I have heartburn again.

What is going on?

It's probably because you have

so many things going on inside your body.

Hormones are changing,

-your insides are changing.
-[Kim] Yeah.

You know your necklace
doesn't say "Saint."

Yeah. I just have to shorten one.

[Kris] It's so cute.

[Kim] I feel so bad for Khloé.

She's been, like, so stressed out
and so overwhelmed.

Yeah, I know.

Because she has, like, you know, Lamar.

I know.

She needs to also just take a minute

and not be doing that all the time.

[Kim] Khloé's in such an awkward position

'cause they were getting a divorce before,

and then, they called it off
when Lamar was really sick.

And now that he's doing better,
they're not, like,

intimately together.

So does she still stick
with staying married to him?

Does she re-file for divorce?

Like, what is the right move
for her to make?

I just don't know what to do.

She called me this morning, just…

ready to hit a wall.

It's like she's super stressed.

I feel like she just needs,
like, a girls' day.

I know. Everybody needs
a little bit of downtime.

So, it's almost like,
maybe if we plan something

and just get away for a minute.

She's never gonna take
any time off by herself.

[Kim] I feel really, really bad for Khloé.

She doesn't wanna create
any situation that would, like,

cause him to be depressed
or go back into any kind of,

like, old bad habits,

and just feels like it'll be her fault
if something happens.

But she's also missing out
so much on her life.

She has, like, all these
crazy life decisions to make.

She's definitely
bit off more than she can chew.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Do I wanna do
a Make-A-Wish thing at my house?

-Who is it?
-I don't know.

[Khloé] Sure, that's okay,

and we will do, like,
donuts, comma, cookies…

-Cupcakes.
-How old is she?

-[cell phone beeps]
-[Khloé] Shut up.

The thing was talking.

[Kris laughs]
Oh, I'm sorry.

Cupcakes…

See, this is what's wrong
with you in your life.

Every time you have
five minutes to yourself,

you fill it up with something else.

It's a Make-A-Wish person though.

-No, no, I know.
-What am I gonna do, not do that?

Of course, you're gonna do it,
but I'm just saying,

every once in a while,
even you need to take a break.

I need to take you away.

I think that sometimes

because you're there every single day

and doing such an amazing job with Lamar,

that you don't realize

that you, too, need a break
once in a while.

Oh, I do realize it.

-That's why I snap.
-Exactly.

So we are gonna go to Napa,

and we're gonna go wine tasting

and just have a fabulous time together.

Deal?

I agree with my mom
that I need to get away.

I just feel like,

is now really the right time to go?

But it's a 45-minute flight
if anything happens,

and I actually just feel
really relieved to get away

from all the Lamar stuff for a minute.

[Kris] So, I'll plan the whole thing,

and at the end of it,

I hope you'll say,

-"You were right, Mom."
-"That was the best trip ever."

You know what, I think you've had
way too much Diet Snapple.

Yeah. Okay, I'm making plans,
kiddo, so get ready.

[upbeat music]

[Jonathan] Welcome to the house.

The location here
is one second from everywhere.

I could walk to Beverly Hills

-if I want. Yeah.
-Really?

-So, what's up?
-Wait, hold on.

So, you know,
'cause everybody wants a butt,

so Dr. Ourian bought this factory,

and he made these
that you can't see, like,

for girls that can't afford butts,

like, to lift their ass,
so I'm gonna make this--

-So, does it lift it and pad it?
-Yeah.

No, no, it pads it, but it gives
you like, uh, like, nice high ass.

Will you try it on?

[Kourtney] Give me the black one.

What I have now is all muscle.

[Jonathan] Oh, damn.

-[Kourtney] No, I don't know if…
-[Jonathan] You look like Naomi Campbell.

-Holy [bleep].
-[Kourtney] This is what I need to do.

-[Jonathan] Oh. It's…
-It does keep…

Damn, you go down low.

You're like a [bleep] stripper
at King of Diamonds

on Monday nights in Miami.

Now I'm really ready for a nap.

Well, thanks for hanging out.

-Yeah.
-This girl's coming

but I didn't wanna meet her alone.

-She's coming here?
-No, no, we're hanging out.

-You two?
-With Dr. Ourian.

I really wanna piss Kim off.

I hope she really looks like her.

This is so exciting.

Sucks that you have so many kids

and you can't hang out with me
all the time when I'm here.

It sucks that I have kids?

-So many.
-Oh.

[upbeat music]

[Scott] Oh, wow, I've never seen his room.

-Aren't you going to Dubai?
-[Tyga] Yeah, man.

How long are you gonna stay in Dubai for?

Like, four days.

[Scott] Why didn't you want to go, Kylie?

[Tyga] She used to travel
the world with me.

I've been everywhere with him.

[Scott] Trust me,
it only gets worse, buddy.

They just keep getting meaner.

-[Tyga] I think she's different.
-And meaner and meaner.

[Tyga] Can't be no worse than you.

[Scott] You've never seen me
say one bad thing to anybody.

-What?
-[Kylie] What?

These two girls went up to him
and asked for a photo,

and he's in the photo.
Right before they take it,

he goes, "Psych. I'm not taking
a [bleep] photo with you,"

and he runs away.

-[doorbell rings]
-[Scott] Oh, wait.

The psychic guy that I called is here.

-[Kylie] Hello.
-[Scott] Hi.

-I'm Scott. How you are?
-Brett. Nice to see you.

-I'm Kylie. Nice to meet you.
-Hi, Kylie. Nice to meet you.

-Hi, Ty.
-Tyga.

-Oh, Tyga.
-But you already knew that.

-What's that?
-Nothing, don't worry.

He's funny. He's got jokes.

-[Brett] I'll just get started.
-Okay.

[Brett] I feel very drawn
to you specifically

about relationships in general.

Whether it's with your family

or whether it's with your partner,
or, like, whoever it is,

things are just kind of going
in a very different way

that's not giving you the clarity
that you're looking for.

I mean, I think everybody
kind of feels that way, right?

Uh, yeah.
[stutters]

It gets really kind of confusing.

It's almost as if
I have a lens going on in one eye,

then I have a lens in the other eye,

and I'm looking in two different lenses,

and it makes it very unclear.

Correct?

Um, I guess you could say that.

Okay.

I feel like everybody
that's dated any girl

within her family
has gotten some kind of curse.

That's what we're kind of more
trying to get into.

[Brett] That's up to you
to understand for yourself.

You are the person

who's in charge of your own ship,

so nothing can bump you off
except your perception

that somebody else
is taking the ship over.

Do you understand what I mean by that?

I get that.
Tell me something I don't know.

Um…
[clears throat]

What's the definition
of what you do, exactly?

A spiritual medium. So I feel and sense--

Yeah, I think we, like,
called the wrong number.

-Oh, you did?
-We wanted just a psychic.

-Okay.
-I'm sorry.

Oh, that's okay.

[Scott] I asked one of the girls
who works for me

to find a good psychic.

Evidently, she went
the complete opposite direction

and found the worst guy
maybe ever for what I need.

That's ridiculous.
We weren't looking for that.

I just wanted a little guy
with a little crystal ball

-to come in here and be, like…
-Yeah, like…

What's up, baby?

You need to get, like,
an old lady with long hair.

-Yeah. I want a freaky witch.
-Yeah.

-Little woman. With a cape on.
-[Tyga] Get a real, like…

Got, like, ten cats.

Yeah. Cats everywhere.

-You know what I mean?
-[Kylie chuckles]

[upbeat music]

[doctor] I'll come back in a few minutes?

Okay, cool.

[woman] Oh, it's so cute here.

[Jonathan] What are you doing here?

[inquisitive music]

What are you doing here?

-[Kamilla] Oh, hello.
-[Jonathan] What?

-[Kamilla] Hi.
-No, no, this was not planned.

-[Kamilla] Really?
-I cannot--

I thought that was your…

I was gonna say that looks like
Kim's car, but I was like no.

-That's so crazy.
-Kourtney just called me

and said they're on their way to Ourian's.

I was like, "Wait, I'm…

I'm here with a friend."

[Jonathan] You brought somebody here?

-Stop.
-Yeah.

[Kim] That's so funny.

[Jonathan] This whole thing
is weird and funny.

-It is really--
-Well, there's Kim. [laughs]

-Yeah, well, hello.
-[Kim] Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too, finally.

[quirky music]

[Jonathan] I was gonna…
I was taking her with me 'cause…

-He wanted to show me…
-Yeah, 'cause…

-Ourian's office.
-[Jonathan] Yeah, we just hit the town.

[Kim] This is super awkward.

The fact that Jonathan
would take it to this level

is so bizarre to me.

We were just coming in
'cause I wanted Dr. Ourian

to just, like, look at my eye right here,

see if we wanted to do a little laser.

So I was taking her with me

'cause you're too busy
to hang out with me,

but meanwhile, you're here
hanging out with somebody,

so now I'm pissed.

I just realized I nailed her.

And like, 'cause I'm so, I was so shocked.

-But I realize that…
-[Kamilla] He was like,

-"She doesn't chill with me."
-[Jonathan] Yeah, are you kidding me?

[Kim] You're so ridiculous.

[Jonathan laughs]

[Kim] Jonathan's trying
to rub this in my face

and make me feel
some type of way, but I don't.

Having two kids is a lot,

and, like, your priorities just change.

-Well, we had a great lunch.
-[Kamilla] Yeah, we did.

-[Jonathan] We had fun.
-[Kamilla] So much fun.

-Mm-hmm.
-[Kim] We have to take a pic.

[Kamilla] We do.

[camera shutter clicks]

[Kim] I mean, Jonathan
can try all he wants to go

and replace me, but he can't.

Go try, honey, go try.

-All right. Thanks.
-Have fun.

-See ya later.
-See ya later.

So nice to meet you, too.

-[Kim] Bye, guys, bye.
-[Jonathan] All right. See you later.

We don't need Kim.
Let's go do our own stuff.

[electronic music]

[Khloé] Oh, my god, look at her hat box.

Wait. Let me snap Mom.

[Khloé] Where is she going?

She's really, like,
from Breakfast with Tiffany's.

-[pilot] Hello.
-Hello.

-[pilot] How are you?
-sh**t.

-Hi, Mom.
-[Khloé] Hi, Audrey.

-[Khloé] How are you?
-Audrey, how are you?

I'm fine, darling. How are you?

Wow.

Fancy.

I'm confused if you're going
to a Western or a…

or a New York Fashion Week.

I'm… it's a little bit of both.

What are we talking about here?

Let's go to freaking Napa.

[Khloé laughs]

[Kourtney] I've never been to Napa,

and there's nobody
that's more fun to hang out with

than my mom and Khloé.

Khloé's been so stressed out,

and I think just seeing her let loose,

drink some wine, like,
just not care about anything.

It's, like, one day
of just having a great time.

I'm so hungover.

[Kris] Why?

I went to the show.

[Kourtney] I'm so tired.

[Kris] Was it worth it?
Was it a good show?

[Kourtney] Yeah.

[rumbles]

[upbeat music]

[Kris] Look how pretty this is.
It's so green.

[Khloé] It's so green.

I'm excited you guys
are doing this with me.

[Khloé] I'm excited to be here.
Kourt's never been here.

[Kris] Look at this place.

Hello, guv'nah.

Hi, little lady.

[Khloé laughs]

-[Dave] Hi there.
-Hi, Dave. How're you? I'm Kris.

-Kris, nice to see you. Welcome.
-Nice to see you, too.

-Thank you for having us.
-Welcome.

-Our pleasure.
-[Kris] This is Khloé and Kourtney.

-Kourtney.
-[Khloé] Hi. Khloé.

-[Kris] The little one is Kourtney.
-Khloé, nice to see you.

-Okay. Thank you.
-[Kris] This is beautiful.

[Kourtney] What is that?

[Dave] This is the entrance
to the sacred cave here.

-Oh, fancy entrance.
-[Dave] Get ready, you guys,

because what you're gonna see here
is gonna blow your mind.

-Oh, my. It's a wine spa.
-Okay, are you ready?

-It's a wine spa
-This is our wine spa.

-We're getting a wine…
-Here we go.

-Oh, my god.
-[Khloé] Every barrel has wine in it?

[Dave] Yes, it does.

We're gonna try some
of this beautiful wine

out of the barrel.

And this is a Cabernet Sauvignon,

and this is a special
French barrel called Picard.

-Oh, I like this.
-[laughs]

[Dave] I have a barrel and it's so good,

it tastes like smoked ham.

[Khloé laughing]

[Dave] This is another Cabernet.

[Kourtney] Being hungover and wine-tasting

probably isn't the best combination,

but Khloé and I, we just, like,
are entertaining ourselves,

and having the best day.

[Khloé] Oh, you wanna play the game?

No. I'm just giving you five.

[Khloé speaks indistinctly]

[laughing]

Oh, my gosh.

It smells like we just had a cigarette.

-Guggenheigen.
-Guggenheigen.

[quirky music]

[Kim] What?

-Guggenhei…
-Guggenhei…

[Kim] You guys are so lame.

We wanna know what…

[both laughing]

[Kourtney] What color is your [bleep]?

Is it, is your [bleep]
the color of flamingo

or bougainvillea?

Or is your [bleep] the color of ballerinas

or gingham green?

-[both laugh]
-[Kourtney] I don't know

why we just find it so funny
to FaceTime everyone we know

and, like, ask them
what color vaginas they like.

[British accent] Oh, my god,

-it is the queen.
-Kylie Jenner.

-Kylie Jenner.
-The queen of p*ssy willow,

the queen of p*ssy willow.

Is your [bleep] pink, Kylie?

Or if it looks like this,
we've got a problem.

We have a major problem

-if it looks like…
-We've got a problem.

[both laughing]

[Khloé] She hung up on us.

Let's call Kendall.

-[line rings]
-[Kendall] What's up?

We need to know
what color is your [bleep].

-Is it this color?
-Hot pink.

[quirky music]

-[Kris] So good.
-Isn't that good?

I thought you'd like that.

I think my mom
is really into wine in general.

And she definitely
just could go on and on,

and Khloé and I just want to,
like, explore Napa.

[Kris] Like, where's my sunglasses?

Oh.

[cell phone ringing]

[French] Hey, mate.

Oh, look at the queen.

-The drunk is coming.
-The drunk is coming.

-The drunk.
-You think we're drunk?

[Khloé] The drunk.

Oh, hello, mother [bleep].

Hello, mother [bleep].

[laughing]

[Kris] Oh, [bleep].
Where are my sunglasses?

[Khloé] I'm wearing
your sunglasses, you idiot.

Oh. I have been…

[Kris] I… I've…

-[Khloé] [bleep], Mom.
-[Kris] Let me see this.

I have been in this [bleep] winery
for 35 minutes

looking for my sunglasses

that my daughter now tells me
she has on her face.

[Khloé laughs]
Snapchat.

[laughing]
A walkie-talkie.

A wa… A wa…

A walkie-talkie.

Walkie-talkie.

Walkie [bleep] talkie.

[all laughing]

They're making fun of me now.

It's fine. Whatever.

No one's making fun of you, you psycho.

Oh, psycho.

[all laugh]

[Kourtney] I'm literally crying.

[all laughing]

[upbeat music]

[Scott talking indistinctly]

What the [bleep] picture is this?

-Rob sent you that?
-[Scott] Yeah.

How crazy that he's, like, out.

I know. It's [bleep] crazy.

He wouldn't even show up
to his own birthday party last year…

-At his home.
-…at Mom's house. Yeah.

I mean, I'm just happy

-that he's, like, alive again.
-Right?

It's just so crazy that it was,
like, kind of overnight--

He missed three years of life,

-like, actually.
-Literally.

Like, three years passed him by.

I get nervous, though,
since it's because of a relationship.

Totally. If anything happened,
it's like really taking it back.

Like, probably worse than before.

I know. Trust me, I think
about that all the time.

-[Kendall] It scares me.
-[Scott] Yeah.

[upbeat music]

[Scott] All right, Ken.

You ready for me to get
this curse off my back?

[Kendall] Yeah.

-Wait, what curse? [laughs]
-The Kardashian curse.

[ominous stinger]

[Kendall] There's a curse?

Anybody that's dated
a Kardashian, including Rob,

that's a boy, has gotten cursed.

After this last guy,

I had to take matters into my own hands,

and I found somebody who does,
you know, the card reading

and really gets to the bottom of curses.

So I was like, "Kendall, come with me,

and let's figure this out
and see if this is real or not."

There's something going on in the water.

[Kendall] No. There's no way.

I've never heard about this before,

and I think Scott is going crazy.

[psychic] So what would you
like me to look at first?

I feel like some curse
has been put upon me,

along with a lot of other men
that I'm close with.

[psychic] Okay.

Let me take a look at it
and see what I get.

[quirky music]

[exhales]

[quirky music continues]

[exhales]

[psychic] Um, the cards talk about

a load of negative energy
that's been going on.

Um, then in the center of the spread
comes up the Devil card,

which means there's definitely an energy
that's been following you around.

It says that everything
that you try to do,

you have a tendency to have,

um, many obstacles in front of you.

[tense music]

So, to answer your question,

I would probably say you do have a curse.

[uneasy music]

-Hmm. Okay.
-[psychic] Okay?

[Scott] You know, right off the bat,

she confirms that there is a curse,

so I think she's pretty good.

[psychic] So to take care of that,

your reading is talking about
working with Ogun

which it's an offering
that you do with a rooster.

So, like, a real…

A real rooster.

Kosher or not?

[quirky music]

It could be kosher, if you like.

Make sure he's alive.

Okay.

[Scott] Everything seemed
pretty normal with this psychic,

but I need to get a rooster?

I guess I'll try anything.

[psychic] When you do
that kind of offering,

you have to be dressed in white.

Then we k*ll the rooster or no?

No, we set him free.

That's not so bad.

You know, the rooster
carries what you have.

It sets you free

as you set him free and off he goes.

All right, I hope it works.

If it does, I'll be a very happy man.

Even though I'm not sure
that this curse is real,

[Kendall] I just really hope he goes
through with the ritual

'cause all that I'm picturing is Scott

holding a little rooster
in a little white gown.

And then, uh, that's followed
with an herbal bath

that you do to kind of clear
that energy so you--

I got to shower now?

Yeah, you have to shower.
[laughs]

[upbeat music]

[Kendall] Wow-wow.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] This is the best video.

[Kris on video] A wa… A wa…
A walkie-talkie?

[all laughing]

[Kourtney] This is cute.

-How are you?
-Good, how are you?

[Kris] Hi.

-[Angela] Hi, welcome.
-[Kourtney] Thanks.

-Hi.
-[Khloé] Hi.

Thank you. Hi, Khloé.

-Hi.
-Nice to see you.

-[Kourtney] How are you?
-[Kim] Hi.

-Hi. I'm Angela with "Promise Wine."
-[Kim] Hi. Nice to meet you.

-It's beautiful in here. Yeah.
-Thank you. Thank you.

Oscar and I are gonna come by
with some wines.

[Angela] You're gonna have a lot,

so look at the sea of glasses, right?

[Kris] Oh, my goodness.

[Khloé] Kourtney, are you excited?

-[Kourtney] No.
-[Kim] Kourtney's a little hungover…

-[Kourtney] I am.
-…just to let you guys know.

[Angela] You want to know what?
They call this the hair of dog.

[Khloé] It looks like
she's having a tough time.

-[Oscar] We do have a bucket.
-I am. Yeah.

[Kourtney] I'm gonna need a bucket later.

-[chef] Hello. How are you?
-This looks beautiful.

-Thank you.
-[chef] This is a garden green salad

from our garden with roasted beets.

Looks really good.

-You okay, Kourt?
-[Kourtney] Mm-hmm.

I'm, like, ready to go to bed.

Count me in, Seymour.

Remember when Kourtney lived
next door to Seymour Butts?

-[Kourtney] Mm-hmm.
-[laughs]

[Khloé] They used to film p*rn
in his backyard.

Then I told everyone
that he taught me how to squirt.

[Kris] Well, what's squirting?

Why don't you ask Corey to show you?

[laughing]

[Angela] How are the wines?

-[cell phone rings]
-[Kourtney] Good. Really good.

[Angela] I see that you're pacing
yourself throughout now.

-But that's very good.
-[Khloé] That's good.

-[Khloé] Hello?
-[Lamar] Hey.

[Kourtney] Miss you.

[Lamar] Miss you, too, Kourt.

[Kourtney] How are you doing?

[Lamar] I'm doing fine.

-Hi.
-[Lamar] Hey, Kris.

-[Kris] We're going to dinner.
-[Lamar] Are we?

We could go… He would like Craig's.

[quirky music]

What about Nice Guy, Kourtney's favorite?

-My mom is just crazy right now.
-[Kris] I have an Italian place

that nobody knows about
that's a mile away from the house.

[Khloé] The thing about my mom
is that she has great intentions

and I know she just wants
to take Lamar out somewhere,

but Lamar has to focus
on trying to be sober.

I need Lamar to make these changes
to better himself.

I mean, a lot of [bleep] has happened
that I can't forget.

No virgin Roman Punches, okay?

[Lamar] Why not?

[Khloé]
'Cause I don't think you stop there.

I don't wanna take that risk.

It's that hard for you?

[Lamar] Nah.

-Okay, Virgin Rum, peace.
-[Lamar] Bye-bye, Khloé.

[Khloé] Ugh. This guy.

See, why would you say
to take him to Craig's?

[tense music]

I wanna hang out with him privately

just 'cause I'm allowed
to be friends with him,

but why do I want that in the atmosphere

-and all this pressure?
-[Kris] Yeah, I got it.

So there's this little place
right by our house--

-[Khloé] But if you get it, get it.
-Okay.

[tense music]

[upbeat music]

Who knew you could go get roosters?

I usually don't go rooster shopping,

but I figured
I'd bring my friend Benny and…

I guess it's a pretty hot item right now.

[Scott] Hey, how are you?

-Micah. Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you, guys. Marco.

-Marco, nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you, too, guys.

[Scott] So, I'm looking for a rooster.

[Dylan] Well, here they are.

Beautiful Rhode Island Red Roosters.

-[Scott] Are they nasty?
-You know, they're roosters.

They're not gonna be
the super friendliest,

but they're not gonna,
bite you or anything.

You go first.

[roosters clucking]

Whoa.

[Marco] If you want, you can
grab it with your own hands.

-Uh… what's protocol?
-Yeah.

I'm not gonna lie, I really don't know

a ton about roosters.

[Dylan] Place your hands the same way
that I'm kinda doing it.

-You wanna squeeze a little bit harder.
-[Marco] Squeeze a little bit harder.

[Dylan] But not too hard. But just…

[Scott] He's got a good girth on him.

[clucks]

-For sure this is the one.
-That's the one.

[Scott] This one's gonna save my life.

-He's been very tame.
-Yeah.

Is that a boy or a girl? Whoa. Hey.

[all laugh]

[Marco] Both are boys. Every one is boy.

They have a return policy?

[Dylan] Um… not really.

-[Benny laughs]
-[Scott] I don't blame you.

Let's cage this thing up and take him.

-[Dylan] Perfect.
-[Marco] There you go.

-You have your rooster.
-Thank you.

Now I have the rooster, but it's not over.

[Scott] I have to carry the rooster,

I have to put my energy into him or her.

This whole rooster thing better work.

I'm sure people think
it's a little bit weird,

but look at this family.

All right, you be good now.

-[Benny] You hear?
-[rooster clucking]

[Benny] All right, all right, all right.

[Scott] All right.
No one's getting mad at you.

[Benny] Calm down, you're in a Mercedes.

-Relax.
-[clucks]

[upbeat music]

[Kris] There's Cakebread Cellars.

You have to take a picture of me

-in front of the Cakebread Cellars sign.
-Okay.

[Kourtney] So cute.

-[Kris] Hi.
-How we doing today?

-[Kris] Good, how are you?
-Great, thank you. Welcome in.

[Kris] This is so amazing.

[Kourtney] I think we should take
a picture with the wineries.

[Khloé] I don't wanna take
one more picture.

You're not into snapping today?

[Khloé] No.

[Kourtney] Well, I'm gonna snap
you're in a bad mood.

We have to fly back to LA soon,

but we're hitting one last winery
on our way to the airport,

but I can just really tell
something's bothering Khloé.

She's definitely not in
as great of a mood today

as she was yesterday.

[man] I have a little area where…

-[Kris] Great.
-…it's private.

-[Kris] Awesome. Super.
-[man] Sit up there, taste some wine.

[Kris] It's very peaceful here.

Look at the clouds, you guys.

Just so beautiful.

[man] So you ladies feel free
to grab a seat.

We should have some cheese in the center,
which I'll kind of go over here in a bit.

[cell phone ringing]

Hello?

Hey, Lam.

How are you?

[Lamar] I'm all right.

[Khloé] Did you ice your knee?

[Lamar] Yeah.

[Khloé] Um, did you eat today?

[Lamar] I'm about to eat right now,
Pop Tarts.

Pop Tarts are on your diet?

[Lamar] Yeah.

[Khloé] Okay. All right.

Bye.

[sighs]

[Kourtney] What's happening?
Should we sit?

[Khloé] God, it's so hard,
and, like, as it is,

just me dealing with it.

[dramatic music]

I love Mom, and I know
her intentions are super good,

but I feel so much pressure,
and it's just, like, everything.

Like how we were yesterday,
and she was like,

"Oh, you and Lamar should go to Craig's."

-It's like…
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

I just wanna support him
and take care of him,

but sometimes I get frustrated.

Like, why don't you want

-more for me, too?
-Yeah.

And why is she so on his side
and never really mine?

[dramatic music]

[Khloé] I know my mom has good intentions,

but I just feel like she's not getting it.

I really just want my space
for a minute from Lamar.

It's just a lot, and I feel like,
I love how much she loves our people.

-Yeah.
-And I also…

I don't want that to change,

but I just want someone to just, like,

care about me a little, too.

-Maybe that's her role.
-What?

Just to be the one to, like, push you.

Maybe it's, like, a good reminder

that there's other options.

I think you should talk to Mom.

Ugh.

[Khloé] I know Kourt is right

and I definitely have to talk to my mom.

I also don't think that this trip
is appropriate for that talk,

so I really wanna enjoy
the rest of my trip,

and I just will deal with this issue
when I get home.

It's getting worse and worst.

What do you wanna do right now?

[clicks tongue]
Um, I have to urinate.

-Okurrr.
-[both laugh]

-Oh, and we were sitting in a spider web.
-Oh, my god-ula.

[horn honks]

-Let's go.
-[Kourtney] Okay.

Oh, we're… You're waiting on us for once?

[Khloé] That's fresh.

[upbeat music]

[cell phone ringing]

Hey, Tomer.

Tomer, how's your ginger [bleep]?

Tomer? Tomer.

How's your ginger penis, Tomer?

-[Kris] Shut up.
-Tomer.

-I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
-I haven't seen you

-in so long.
-Shut the [bleep] up.

-And your ginger [bleep] penis, Tomer.
-Stop it.

-Sorry.
-[laughs]

Ginger Spice on the ginger [bleep].

-[Kris] Shut up.
-[all laugh]

[Kris] Sorry, what?

[rumbling]

[upbeat music]

-[Kim] Kourt?
-[Kourtney] Yeah?

-Hi.
-Hi.

[Kim] How was Napa?

Mom was so fun.

She got so drunk,

but, like, it was good. It was funny.

She had a fun day. So…

Scott thinks he's cursed?

I don't even believe
in that dumb thing, but yeah.

Yeah.

[Kim] So, Kendall calls me
and tells me that Scott bought a rooster

to rid himself of the Kardashian curse.

Scott is so ridiculous.

I mean, he does weird things anyway,

but this is, like, on another level.

He just, like, is reaching.

I'm so annoyed
he'd even think that exists.

-Like, there's no such thing.
-[Kourtney] Obviously.

Of course, put the blame
somewhere else, you know?

-Always.
-He never wants to take,

like, accountability for his own actions.

He wants to always put
the blame on someone else.

Yeah.

-[door closes]
-[Scott] Kourt?

-Yeah?
-[Scott] What are you guys doing?

-[Kim and Kourtney] Hi.
-Hi.

-[Benny] Hello.
-Benny June.

Benny June?

Are you Armenian?

-No.
-Oh.

-He looks Armenian though.
-[Kim] Yeah, totally.

[Reign] Hello.

-Who's home?
-[Kourtney] Who's that? Northie?

-Hello, Northie?
-[Reign cries]

[gasps]
Oh, no, Reign. Hi.

-[Kourtney] Oh, is it Reign?
-Where's Mase?

-Hmm. He's here.
-Hi, my little chunk.

-[Kourtney] Hi, Reignie.
-Wait, what's going on?

What do you mean?

You think that we cursed you?

[tense music]

Did you really go to a voodoo doctor?

I've… I've been shopping around, yeah.

I just think a lot of people
have come into this family

-and hasn't been the easiest.
-It's such a lie.

You guys think nothing is ever wrong.

A Kardashian curse?

-[Kim] It's not real.
-Are you joking?

I'm offended.

[inaudible]

It just seems like the guys in the family
have it a little tougher.

They definitely do. I will say that.

[Scott] Right, it's tough.

But you blame your actions

on something else, somebody else.

It's never just because…

What do you mean?

[Kourtney] You always think,
"Oh, I was born into this."

"It's because of that."

Like, you just always
have an excuse for everything.

[dramatic music]

[Scott] You know, I may have gotten

a little caught up
with this whole curse thing,

and maybe taken it a little too far.

All right, so maybe there's not a curse.

Maybe I should stop with the excuses.

Wait, so do you really have a rooster?

Do you have a Kourtney voodoo doll

is what I wanna know.

No, it's… it's life-size so I can bang it.

-[chuckles]
-[Kim] Where is this rooster?

It's around. Don't worry about it.

[Kourtney] We're gonna find it.

Reign, do you wanna see a rooster?

[Scott] Where's Mase?

-He's here.
-[Kim mimics rooster crowing]

[Scott] Mase.

[upbeat music]

[Mason] Where is he?

[rooster crowing]

[Kim] There he is. I see him.

[Kim gasps]
I see him.

I see him.

-[Scott] Uh-oh.
-[rooster crowing]

[Scott] There it is.

By the way, you can't touch the rooster

because he can only have my energy.

-[Kourtney laughs]
-[Scott] Who knows?

If I tell Kourtney the rooster is, like,

gluten-free and organic-free…

she may keep the [bleep] thing.
I don't know.

I feel like I weirded you guys out
with the rooster.

You think?

To think, like, Kanye and I
are the most normal ones

-out of this family is…
-[Kourtney] You're actually not.

Yeah, we are.

I don't know how you define normal, but…

[Kim laughs]

[electronic music]

[Khloé] It's always hot.
I need powder on this mug.

Uh, you know, I'm obsessed
with books right now?

I'm reading a book about Le Corbusier,

which is an architect.

It's so weird and boring.

But I'm obsessed.

No, you're not,
and you're not reading that book.

-Well, I look at them.
-Right, you look at it.

It's not a real book.

It has words.

-Oh, this building…
-Big words.

…was erected in 19-whatever?

Yeah, it's his… called history.

That's a coffee table book.

-[curtain rattling]
-[Khloé] Um…

Okay, so why I wanted to talk to you

-is…
-[Kris] Oh, my god.

No, but, like, even this weekend,

like, you just do things.

So, I love Lamar with all of my heart,

and I love, love, love, love him,

and I want the best for him.

But don't you ever

think it's a cute surprise

to have Lam come somewhere.

You guys don't understand.

It's like this snowball that starts,
like, rolling out of control.

-I…
-[Kris] I understand that.

-Okay, but I'm not done.
-Okay.

Like, sometimes I feel like, as my mom,

you should want
a little bit better for me.

I'm tired of feeling trapped.

When I originally needed
to file for divorce,

it was the hardest thing in my life.

I never wanted a divorce ever.

[Kris] Yeah, I know.

And so I finally had
the strength to do that.

And now, I only took divorce
off the table to help him.

-I understand.
-But now I feel…

but now I feel back, like I'm,

like it's the hardest thing again.
But I'm like, I…

I don't look at Lamar in a romantic way.

I wanna have kids one day.

I might wanna get remarried one day.

So I'm just gonna sit
in this weird space, like…

What?

I think Lamar needs us

-as a family.
-Totally.

But Lamar and I are not together.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.

So I need to move on,

and I will be filing for divorce
very soon.

[Khloé] Lamar and I are not together.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.

So I need to move on,

and I will be filing
for divorce very soon.

I've been very honest with Lamar.

I will still be his medical advisor,

and I'll be the advisor
to all of his finances

if he ever becomes incapacitated again.

I want you guys
to remain friends with him.

I want you guys to love him
and talk to him every day.

There's no reason not to.
I have forgiven Lamar.

-Yeah.
-But I still have boundaries.

[Khloé] I've been focusing
on Lamar for so long,

but it's time that I focus on me.

This marriage just needs to end

and let's just see
what happens after that.

One day at a time.

My point is I want him to know
he still has a family.

He can still come to family dinners

if I invite him or if you're like,
"Hey, do you want Lamar to come?"

You could ask me.

Yeah.

Sometimes I forget
what you've gone through.

You come first, and I'm here for you,

-and you are going to have…
-But I want--

…to tell me what my boundaries are.

I understand it when you say it like that.

I get it.

I understand.

I will be and try better.

I love you. Give me a hug.

-I love you so much. All right?
-Okay.

I get what you're saying. I'm trying.

-I'm gonna be a better mom.
-You're a great mom.

And I'm gonna be more understanding

and more respectful of your boundaries.
How about that?

[smacks lips]
We'll see how long

-this will last for.
-Okay. Live in the moment.

[Kris] Nice chatting with you.

[Kim] Coming up next week…

[Kris] Welcome to Vail, kids.

-Oh.
-Oh, my [bleep].

[Khloé] My dad used to take us
to Vail every year.

[Kourtney] It's so crazy
that we're back here.

Thank you, Mom,
for putting this all together.

-[Kris] I love you, guys.
-[Kim] I love you.

You think I'm, like,
the bad guy all the time.

[Tyga] He still has to make
a decision as a man.

[Kendall] Hi, Bob.

I miss you.

[Khloé] No.

He proposed in front of her whole family?

[tense music]