12x11 - Got MILF?

[bunniefuu]

[techno music]

-[camera shutter clicks]
-[Scott] Cute face for Mom.

-Cute face for Mom.
-[Kourtney] Cute face.

-[camera shutter clicking]
-[Kourtney] Cute face. Ooh, yes.

Where did he learn that?

[Kourtney]
He just, like, did it on his own.

-Then we've been saying it, so…
-[Kourtney] We were like,

"Make a cute face."

[Scott]
So now he, like, will do it on command.

[Kourtney]
Shake your head. Mase, you know,

we used to say that to you all the time.

-"Shake your head."
-[Scott] And then we would say,

"Say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you boot."

That was, like, when we brought you home
from the hospital.

I had no idea how to treat

-a kid like you.
-You put me in the garbage

and then you let me poop in it.

Yeah, I should've put you in the garbage
and let you poop all over the place,

-so I wouldn't have to deal with it.
-Yeah.

And Mommy was like,
"You better figure this out.

Figure out how to handle this kid."

I was like, "I'm only 25!
I don't know what to do!"

[Mason laughing]

I want to yell…
[blows raspberries]

-[Mason] Stop it!
-How would I know what to do?

How? Tell me, man!

[yells]

We're gonna put him back
in the garbage can

-where we found him.
-[laughs]

Right in Mom's… Mom's thing,

-where you came from.
-[Mason shrieks]

-Stop it!
-[Kourtney] That's the garbage can?

It's the Dumpster.

[laughter]

[theme music]

[upbeat music]

[plane engine rumbles]

[Malika] Let's snap before we take off.

Yeah, totally.

-Hi.
-[woman 1] Hi.

-How are you?
-[woman 1] Good, thank you.

I guess we'll sit here.

Yeah, I'll sit next to you.

I am, like, so excited to go.

[Malika] Kim, it's been a minute
since we've been in Vegas together.

I'm really excited about it.

[upbeat music]

[hair dryer whirring]

-Kimmy.
-[Kim] Hi.

How was the ride?

I'm, like, so tired now.

-[Simon] Oh, yeah, I fell asleep.
-It's, like, so annoying.

[Kim] Stephanie, stand behind me,

'cause the back of my dress is not it.

Like, my ass is so [bleep] huge.

I still have, like, 25 pounds to go.

The fact that I'm, like,
doing appearances,

like, blows my mind.

I was not even
out of the house, last time.

Last time, I had, like, 50 pounds to go.

[Kim] I've definitely had
my fair share of the press

just, you know, attacking me over things

that they think are inappropriate

because I'm a mom.

Right before I got pregnant
for the second time,

I posted a nude selfie.

I mean, I was so proud of myself,

like, I had gotten in such great shape.

But people had such a problem with it.

[upbeat music]

I've watched 50 things
on everything about this today.

-Insane, right?
-That's the crazy part.

It looked like I was wearing a bikini.

Did Piers Morgan respond to you?

He wrote, like, a whole blog about

why don't I try to be successful
with my clothes on.

Like, why don't you try to be successful

with your clothes off?
It's actually really hard.

I'll never stop posting photos
that I like of myself.

If anything, I feel more empowered.

Like, if you're not into
what I'm posting, don't look.

Don't pay too much attention to it.

-You look divine.
-Thank you.

[Simon]
Is this your first-- This is your first…

[Kim] Yeah, that's why
they're gonna be, like, so annoying.

Ten years from now, you're gonna be, like,

"Oh, remember when I went to Vegas?"

-[Kim] Totally.
-"10,000 people came to see me."

[upbeat music]

[camera shutters clicking]

[people clamoring]

This is my first real night out
since I had, you know, my baby,

so it's gonna be a fun night
with all my friends.

You do, like, spend so much time
prepping for a night out

when you, uh, are a mom.

I was able to, you know,
put my kids to bed,

read them, you know, their stories,
then go out,

and, you know, make it home
before they wake up.

[announcer] Make some noise
for Kim Kardashian.

Kardashian in the [bleep] right now!

[crowd cheering]

What's up, kids?

[crowd cheering]

I haven't been to Vegas for, like, years,

so I'm excited.

You guys have to show me a good time.

[cheering continues]

[upbeat electronic music]

-[Larsa] What are you looking for?
-[Kourtney] I don't know.

Just seeing what kind of snack she has.

How about a cookie?

I'm scared to take one.

[Kourtney] Okay, this is something
that I rarely eat.

-Kylie?
-Hmm?

[Kourtney] I'm making myself a Pop-Tart.

-Do you want one?
-[Kylie] I'm good.

Hey. What are you guys doing?

-[Larsa] Making ourself at home.
-[Kourtney] Making a Pop-Tart.

Do you want one?
[chuckles softly]

[Kris] A Pop-Tart?

-Yeah.
-[Kris] You, who won't allow,

like, a plastic dish in someone's kitchen,

because God forbid
if it's not natural and organic?

But I'm at Kylie's house,
and she had no healthy snacks.

The only snack
that sounded appetizing to me

was a Pop-Tart.

[Larsa] There's fruit right there.

Yeah, there's lots of healthy snacks.

-There's tangerines--
-Fine, I'll eat half of the Pop-Tart,

and then I'll eat
a [bleep] pear, everyone,

-so just relax. Okay?
-Eat a banana.

[Kris] So, Kylie,

I needed to swing by,

because I was down the street.

What's going on with the stalker?

[Kylie] He's out of the psychiatric ward.

-[Kris] I know, but…
-[Kourtney] Is it the same stalker?

Yeah. It's a situation
where he didn't just get released

from the psychiatric ward,

I just found out that he escaped
from the psychiatric ward.

And he really thinks that…

he can just keep following her around

and coming to this community
and trying to get in.

[Kris] How crazy is that?

I think we take our security,
like, really seriously.

Kylie has had a few incidents

with stalker-type situations in the past.

-[Kris] Oh, [bleep].
-What is it?

[Kris] This isn't funny.

No, this is [bleep] nuts.

-This is really weird.
-[Kris] "Will you marry me?"

She's 17.

There has been a guy
that's been following Kylie,

and I am definitely worried.

[Kris]
All right, you guys, I'll see you later.

[Kourtney] I'll see you at dinner.

[Larsa]
You know, we had a dog that we got, like,

one of those Forbes-trained
German Shepherds.

But you have to learn,
like, German commands,

which you could easily learn,
like, five things in German.

You need, like, a mean dog.

-What do you think, Kourt?
-What?

Do you think I should get
this German Shepherd?

[Kylie] How cool would, like, our photos
be, like, of me and the dog?

I can tell the dog to sit here,
and just have the dopest photos.

[Kourtney] If Kylie's just so concerned

that her dog's gonna make
great photos, like,

she's definitely
not taking this seriously.

I just think she needs to be careful.

You want to come for me, bitch?

-Come for me.
-Bring it.

It would be hilarious.

[upbeat music]

[Kris] Look what I have.

[Scott] Why do you have this already?

[Kris] Because I wanted samples.

Would you like a gingerbread cookie?

[Scott] Not really.

[Kris] Are you gonna see the kids later?

[Scott] I got Mason new clothes though.

[Kim] So cute. Is he into it?

I got him a bunch of vintage bombers,
vintage T-shirts.

I went to that What Comes Around
Goes Around, where, like…

Oh, I need to, like, brace you.

Kanye is going to sh**t a music video
for this song, "Famous."

And the people that the video's about,

it's, like, Amber Rose, Ray J,
Chris Brown, Rihanna,

Taylor Swift, and Caitlyn.

-[Scott] Caitlyn.
-Caitlyn?

[Kim] Caitlyn Jenner.

There's nudity, technically.

There's sheets over everyone.

[Kris]
I think he's obsessed with Caitlyn though.

He just, like… likes people that do…

that are authentic,
that do what they wanna do.

Well, he wasn't doing
what he wanted to do his whole life.

Yeah, but now he is.

I am still trying to understand the whole…

feud between Taylor Swift and Ye

that happened about this whole song.

'Cause I thought she knew about it.

She did, but she was acting
like she didn't.

But didn't they… Weren't they,
like, recording Ye

when he was talking to her
for his, like, blog?

For… No, like, for, like,
a documentary one day.

Kanye, every time he's recording an album,

he always has videographers with him 24/7,

recording everything.

So Madison Square Garden,
nobody never heard it.

It starts off Rihanna voice.

[Kourtney]
That's the first song you're gonna play?

[Kanye] Yeah.

And then, like, whoo…

[Kanye sings]
♪ All my South Side [bleep] ♪

♪ That know me best ♪

♪ I feel like Taylor Swift
Might owe me sex ♪

♪ Why? I made that bitch famous ♪

-Oh, yeah.
-[Kourtney chuckles]

♪ I made that bitch famous ♪

♪ For all the girls that got [bleep]
From Kanye West ♪

♪ If you see 'em in the streets
Give 'em Kanye's best ♪

♪ Why? They mad they ain't famous ♪

♪ g*dd*mn ♪

♪ They mad they still nameless ♪

♪ Talk that talk, man ♪

♪ Her man in the store
Tryna try his best ♪

♪ But he just can't seem
To get Kanye fresh ♪

♪ But we still hood famous ♪

♪ g*dd*mn. Yeah, we still hood famous ♪

Yeah, I like that.
[chuckling]

It's really important to him
when he was writing this song, "Famous,"

that he, you know, spoke to her,

and they knew
it was gonna be controversial.

The camera crew filmed him
speaking to Taylor

and got their whole conversation.

So, I think
he definitely really, you know,

cared about how she felt.

I think she got freaked out
by the reaction,

and all of a sudden, she flipped.

-So many fake things that go on.
-So many fake things.

-[Scott] It's just too much.
-He's just over it.

-It's like, why bother?
-Yeah, why bother?

[upbeat music]

[Jonathan] Kim, where are you?

[Kim] Hey, I'm in here.

[Jonathan]
My god! Look at this place. Jesus.

This is like a…
This is a store, by the way.

We could open up DASH Home Collection.

That's just, like, what I can fit me now.

Wow. What's up with you?
You're, like, hiding in here.

[Kim yawns]

I am going over all of my emails.

I'm, like, so tired.

I have a cover to sh**t

that I think I have to go to New York for

-for a day.
-All right.

[Kim] It's, like, a big one.

Also, I have to do Fergie's video.

It's about MILFs.

[upbeat music]

-What are you gonna do?
-I don't know.

It's, like, she just wants, like, her…

her group of friends in it.

Oh, that's fun.

Fergie and I have been friends forever.

[club music]

[Kim] We're hanging out one day,

and she was playing me her music,

and I loved the song "MILF Money."

So she asked me to be in the video,

and I'm so excited. I'm so honored.

It's gonna be so much fun.

I wish I had, like, a few more months.

You say that all the time,
but you look great.

And nobody thinks you don't look great.

You're good.

Now, does your butt shrink
when you lose weight?

-Yeah.
-Is that what happens?

I just can't ima… I can't believe
it shrinks from the weight.

Like, it goes…
[whooshes]

Yeah.

I measured it today, so…

What did you do? Buy watermelons?

[both laugh]

[upbeat music]

[gulping]

[Khloé] You're a beast.

You drink tap water. Good for you.

-Calabasas…
-[Kourtney] It's not tap water.

Oh, my god, okay.

Damn, girl, you rich in this house.

So, what, like, it's already filtered?

I don't know.
The whole house has a system.

[line ringing]

[Kim] Hello.

You sound like Adele
when you answer the phone.

-[chuckles]
-[Kim] I sound like a what?

Adele.

-She doesn't know who Adele…
-[Kim] What is going on?

[Kourtney] Um, so, Kylie,
you know she always posts.

[Khloé] And tags her freakin' location.

[Kim] Yeah.

So, she, like…

[Kim] Her signatures are wild.

…has a stalker.

Even the police told her to stop posting,

and she's still doing it.

[Kourtney]
Kylie is so huge on social media.

I think she's, like,
one of the most followed people

on Snapchat,
which shows your location instantly.

It's just… it's not safe,
and I want to make sure

that, you know, she is careful.

[Kim] Yeah, I remember this guy

used to show up
to every appearance of mine.

And he was, like, mentally disturbed.

And it was, like, so scary.

Like, if anyone knows, we know.

I don't think she realizes that we know.

[Kourtney]
It's just, there's a way to talk to her.

[Kim] Wait, so what are you gonna do?

We really got to do something
that's gonna, like, terrify her,

'cause she's obviously
not taking it seriously.

I feel like she'll only learn that way.

Like, she won't listen.

Like, any time we tell her anything,

she wants to do the opposite.

Should we get her held up at gunpoint

-and we can dress up like…
-No.

I mean us, not a real person.

[Kourtney] No, that's too crazy.

-That's the best form.
-[Kourtney chuckles]

[upbeat music]

-[Kim] Okay, I'll call you back.
-[Khloé] Oh, my god.

-Bye.
-[Khloé laughing]

[quirky music]

[Jen] There's new ones
that I haven't seen today.

[Khloé growling]

-[Jen laughs]
-[Khloé] Wait.

[quirky music continues]

Hi.
[laughs]

[Jen] Your eyes weirdly look big.

Yeah, my eyes look [bleep] bizarre,

and I think it's your phone.
Like, I thought the app was on.

-So that's just what my eyes look like?
-Yeah.

[Jen] We can't change that.
There's no filter for that.

[phone ringing]

[Kim] Hi.

[publicist] They have an audio recording.

[Kim] Shut the [bleep] up.

-[publicist] I'm not.
-[Kim] Shut the [bleep] up.

Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.

It's Kanye, hold on.

-Oh.
-[Kim] Hey, babe. Um…

So, you know someone recorded you.

-[Kanye] Okay.
-[Kim] Um…

-He said, "Okay."
-When you were, like,

upset about Taylor.

The guy recorded the whole thing
and someone has the audio.

[Kanye] Uh-huh.

And you just, like, are, like, upset.

[Kanye] I don't care. Like, I was mad.

Is that illegal for them to record me?

-Not in New York.
-That's what I'm talking about.

[Kim] Not in New York.

-Not in--
-Yeah, so, what, what…

I mean, does it start to seem unfair now?

I mean, if you think it's a big deal,
I'm gonna follow your lead.

[Kim] I don't think it's a big deal.

It's just the way the perception is.

[Kanye] Well, yeah.

[Kim] All right, let me see
what the team wants to do

and says and all that.

Not that you care, but I'm just saying

I care what people think.

[Kim] I'm just like,
my full-time job is your publicist.

Kanye definitely just always,
like, speaks the truth,

says what he feels, says what he wants.

He has no filter, he just says what he,

you know, believes in.

And some people might not understand that.

And so, like, he has a bad guy reputation.

[Kanye] If you want to do something
to help it out or fix it, I'm down.

Maybe just, like, lay off Twitter
for a little bit.

[Kim] Let me see what the team says.

Usually, you know,
I always try to stay neutral,

and, you know, really think
about where Kanye's coming from

and just, you know,
definitely try to give, like,

moral support and input.

Don't you think, like,
I have to think smarter for him?

'Cause he's gonna say, "I don't care."

The wife of Pablo?

The wife of Pablo.

[upbeat music]

-[Åkerlund] Hi.
-[Kim] Hi.

-How are you? Nice to meet you.
-I'm great. Nice to meet you.

-Come into my world.
-Oh, my goodness, who is this?

This is my baby.

-What's her name?
-This is Beelzebub.

Hey, welcome to my world.

[Kim] This is so cool.

B. Åkerlund is an amazing stylist,
creative director.

She is doing the Fergie video.

So cool.

[Kim] Love this.

I'm excited to meet with her today

and, you know, just see
what her vision is for me,

'cause I really have no idea.

[Åkerlund] I mean, just to give you,
like, a general,

like, overlook of the video.

We really, like, wanna,
like, lift up all the women.

If it's a woman breast-feeding,
or whatever they're doing, that,

I mean, they still look like
they're in Italian Vogue.

-So that…
-That's, like, so been my motto.

If anything, I felt, like,
sexier after becoming a mom.

I had a curvier body after becoming a mom.

-You can be hot and be a mom.
-Yeah.

[Åkerlund] That's what
the whole concept is about, powerful moms.

And obviously, you're one of them,

so we wanna, you know, showcase you
and, sort of…

But I could show you.

[Åkerlund] So, we want you
to have your own "Got MILF" ad,

which will, like, pop up on the TV.

I don't know what speaks to you
the most as a person.

Like, if you had to explain yourself

in, like, three words, what would it be?

I hate describing myself, but…

[Kim] I mean, I would definitely say
sexy is one of them.

-[Åkerlund] Mm-hm.
-And I think,

if I were to do an ad like this,

like, I like the ones
when the girls are, like, wet

and, like, dripping milk on them,

-and, like, that vibe.
-[Åkerlund] Okay.

Should be in the shower.

[Åkerlund] Like, should we do a swimsuit?

Yeah, I think so.

Like, a special swimsuit that…

-[Kim] Yeah.
-…sucks everything in.

Do whatever you want with me.

-[Åkerlund] Okay.
-You know, just…

-make me look skinny.
-[laughter]

Meeting with B., I definitely know

that I'm in really good hands.

Like, she's got it.

Her references were insane.

What she's planning on having, you know,

custom-made, is just gonna look so good.

So I feel like this is gonna be so major.

I'm… I'm really getting excited now.

[Fergie] Hello.

-Hi.
-[Fergie] Hey.

I'm, like, obsessing.

[Fergie gasps over phone]

[Fergie] I know. It's gonna be so fun.

Well, you are in good hands with B.

Uh, I can't wait to see
what you guys come up with.

-It's gonna be so good.
-She'll take the milk shower,

you'll take the milk bath.

-[Fergie] Okay, perfect.
-[laughs]

-Yes.
-[Fergie] Perfect.

Okay.
[laughs]

Well, we'll get in a bath together.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

[Kourtney] What are you gonna get?

Salad?

I have no idea if they have anything else.

They do. I mean, they have,
like, sandwiches and stuff.

[Kourtney] I used to get
a tuna sandwich once in a while.

[Khloé] Okay, so while we're at lunch,

we're basically trying
to teach Kylie, like…

-[phone ringing]
-…her lesson. And Kim, I swear to God.

Oh, it's Kim, speak of the devil.

-Hey.
-[Kim] Hey.

So, Steph is gonna come
and she's gonna set it all up.

Oh, my god, that's amazing. Okay.

-[Khloé] We'll be there distracting her.
-[Kim] It'll be so good.

[Khloé] So good.

Because Kylie has been so casual
about this security issue,

my sisters and I decide
to do a little prank on her

to give her a wake-up call.

I think Kylie needs to understand

that this is not a joke.

We're gonna make sure, like,

when we walk out with her,
that we think, like…

That we're like…
[gasps]

-[Khloé] Like it's serious.
-Make it a serious thing,

instead of being like, "Ha-ha-ha-ha."

Right. She's not gonna know,
at this point,

that it's us doing it.

[Kim on phone]
Yeah, we got to, like, scare her into it.

She needs to take this seriously.

Agreed.

I don't think it's a bad idea to play

a harmless prank on Kylie.

[Khloé] Hi. What a cute bag.

And hopefully, kind of scare her a little.

I think just showing Kylie
how easy it is to reach her

might, like, rattle her up a little bit.

[Kourtney] Are you buying
horny goat weed extract?

-Yeah.
-[Kourtney] Mm-hm.

Horny goat weed extract,

-what is this?
-[Harry] Yeah.

-I saw "horny" and I got excited.
-I saw "horny"

and I got excited.
[laughs]

-And then I saw "goat."
-"Goat" made me really excited.

-[Harry] Yeah.
-[laughs]

[Harry] And the "extract" part, yeah.

-[laughter]
-Oh.

Cute.

I'm not surprised Kylie is Snapchatting

and not concerned
about our location being known.

And so this is exactly
why we're doing the prank.

[Khloé] Okay, Kourt, we gotta go.

[Kourtney] Okay.

-Ky… where's Kylie?
-[Kylie] Say what?

-[Kourtney] Oh.
-This way.

Go, this way.

-[Kylie clears throat]
-[indistinct chatter]

[car horn honks]

-[man 1] Right over here.
-My car? You moved it?

Yeah. Uh, Kourtney,
we pulled your car up here.

-What's on my car?
-Uh…

[Kourtney] What is on your car?

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Who did that to your car?
Is that your car?

[Kylie] Oh, my god.
I have no idea what's going on.

I am freaking out.

I'm just gonna wait till they take it off.

[Kourtney] Come here. Let's go look at it.

[Kylie] Why?

'Cause, let's go see what it is.

[Kourtney] You only live once.

[Kylie] No, you guys did this.

It was nothing about us.

-[Kourtney laughs]
-[Kylie] Very funny.

I can't really understand
why Kourtney would do this.

The paparazzi are definitely
gonna release these photos.

It's embarrassing.

[Kourtney laughing]
Kylie. Kylie.

[upbeat music]

-[Khloé] So, Kourt.
-[Kourtney] Huh?

[Khloé] What were you saying
about [bleep] fast?

I said some guys jerk it,
so they can last longer.

Yeah, but I don't think
there's anything wrong with that.

I'm not saying there is at all.

We're going to Hef's at 12:30.

[woman] What do you do
if you bump into Taylor Swift tonight?

[Khloé] I mean, I don't know Taylor Swift.
Why do I care?

[phone chimes]

-Call Kim.
-Okay.

[line ringing]

[Kourtney] Hi.

Uh, whatever happened
with the Taylor Swift video?

[Kim] The clip is so good.

So the line, when she said,

"I made her famous," or whatever,

I heard she told everyone at the table,

like, "Well, I mean, it's true, whatever.

Kanye totally, like, made me more famous."

And so, that's what Kanye came up
with the line, but whatever.

So why don't you… I'll put it out.

-What's wrong with you?
-Yeah, but it's like, why…

I don't know. 'Cause, like,

why do you even wanna
get into this battle?

[Kim] I just wanted to, like,
kind of stay out of it.

Don't let Khloé post it.

[Kim] No, don't.

I don't want any of us to get involved.

-Yeah.
-[Kim] Okay, bye.

-Bye.
-[Khloé] Kourt, come here.

[sniffs]

[pensive music]

I don't really feel like saying much,

because the Taylor Swift fans…

love her, and I'm all for that.

And all I know is,

I saw the video.

I've heard Taylor,

and I think
that Kanye did the right thing.

So… Please, Taylor Swift fans,
don't k*ll me.

-What do you think about that?
-[Khloé] That's not okay.

I know how it is when people are,

like, attacking your husband,

and I know that Kim feels
that Kanye did the right thing.

You don't have to do that as a songwriter.

You could really just say
whatever you want.

It's so easy to just go ahead
and att*ck Kanye,

'cause they already perceive him
in a negative way anyway.

I really hate that he gets
such a bad rap for everything.

I mean, what do you think about the video?

It's just funny.

Everyone's so full of [bleep].

So full of [bleep] that it pisses me off.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Hello, Don.

[Don] How your body feeling?

Fine, but you know my quad.

-[Don] Right.
-We got to, just see.

[Don] Mm-hm.

Mind right, body ready.

Mentally, zone in, focus.

I'm gonna start doing
the, uh, upper body with me.

So just cushion down,
when the arms go down, light jump.

Let's go. One, drop.

Two, perfect.

Three, drop.

Good, four. That's the pace I want.

Five, don't speed that up. Six.

I've got to get it together
and get myself in shape

for this "MILF Money" music video.

I'm really nervous, though.

But if Chrissy can do this,

and she had a baby two weeks ago,

I definitely can get it together,

like, four months later.

[Don] Four, cushion. Five, cushion.

Let's go. One, drop, up.

Two, drop. Squeeze the arms.

Good.

You know, with Kim,
she just, like, you know,

puts being a mom first,

but she takes time to work out,

eat well

and just feel her best.

[Don] Oh, the roll down. Let me see this.

-Let's see it.
-[Don] I remember those days.

-[Kourtney] Good job!
-[Don] Yeah.

Good work. Good work.

[upbeat music]

-[Kris] Hey.
-[Kourtney] Hi.

Hi, Reigny. What are you doing?

[Kris] Give me a little kiss.

Show me the face.

[laughter]

-[Kourtney] Did he do it?
-Yes.

You're so cute.

How come you're so cute?

Show me the face.

Your mama used to do that.

Yeah.
[laughs]

-You're so cute.
-[Reigny coos]

[Kris] So what is going on with Kylie?

She was so upset.

Called me, hysterical, crying.

Said she never wanted to go out

and hang out with you guys again

-because she felt, like…
-[Kourtney] Well no, we all went…

-…really disrespected.
-…to lunch.

[Kourtney] And then
we were walking out to the car.

It just, was a bad day.

There was so many people around,
so many paparazzi,

and so, I think
she was just like, "What's going on?"

And then I was like, "Come on,

let's go to your car and see it."

You know, I think she's just young still

and trying to do so much,

and she's got so much on her plate.

It's still a really new, big world for her

because she just turned 18,

so she's got this world of responsibility

that she's just trying to get used to.

One of the things
that's stressing her out,

and she doesn't really talk
about it at all,

is the whole stalker situation.

She's had to change
her whole computer system,

she's had to up her security,

hire more bodyguards, and get a new phone.

It's a lot to go through

when someone starts threatening
your existence

and just the way you live your life.

Everything had to change.

Well, we were trying to get her
to take it seriously,

so hopefully, she is.

Well, maybe there was a better way
to show her that.

I do feel bad that our idea to teach Kylie

about posting her location,

you know, it kind of freaks her out,

especially with so many people around.

Everything about it went wrong.

And so, clearly,

that was not the best idea.

I just want you guys to watch out for her

because she is the baby,
and just be sensitive to,

you know, the fact
that she's still growing up.

-[Kourtney] Yeah.
-Next time,

just get some Silly String
and call it a day.

Mm, sure.

[upbeat music]

[Kim] Hello.

[Khloé] Oh, my god,
you're getting skinnier and skinnier.

Don't eat those cookies.

You won't… you don't need…
like, you look so good.

Here, I'll split the difference.

-I don't want it for my…
-[Khloé] I don't want it.

Why… That's how I know
you're not a real friend.

[Khloé] Real friends don't give friends
Vienna wafers.

-[phone chimes]
-[Kim] I'm so nervous

with the Fergie video.

It's, like, called "MILF Money."
So it's gonna be, like,

us, like, walking
with the big pram strollers,

like, down the street
in this neighborhood,

and I'm gonna be in,
like, a "Got MILF" ad,

and then there's, like, a diner,

and then there's, like,
a beauty salon, and…

How cool.

-There's, like, different scenes…
-Well, you…

-…all with MILFs.
-…definitely are a MILF right now.

What other MILFs are in it?

-Chrissy Teigen.
-Oh, duh.

[Khloé] That's fun
that you guys all get to do that.

Um, yeah, it'll be really fun,
but I have, like, such anxiety.

You're really a crazy person.

You look so good.

I think better than you did
before you had kids.

[Kim]
I definitely am not at my weight goal yet,

but since Fergie and I were friends
before we had kids,

and now our kids are friends
and have playdates,

we totally get the mom struggle.

We get how hard it is

to really work out and feel good
about yourself again.

So, I'm proud to be a part of her,

like, mom MILF pack and music video.

I love the, like, message behind it,

and I would never miss it for the world.

[Kim] I mean, I think it's just, like,

we both, like, think
it's, like, super empowering

to, you know, have kids

and then, like, still be
a hot, sexy MILF, you know?

There's, like, the "mommy-moms"
though that, like--

[Khloé]
Kourtney, at first, was the mommy-mom.

-Totally.
-After Reign, she's like,

-"I'm gonna be a MILF."
-Totally. She's a MILF.

Thank God. I thought we lost her
to the mommy-moms.

-Yeah, me too.
-I'm gonna FaceTime her again.

[line ringing]

So I just have a question.

The first time I FaceTimed you,
was your phone near you?

[Kourtney] Oh, I didn't know
you FaceTimed me. When?

[Khloé scoffs]

[Khloé]
I like your acting abilities, you're good.

[Kourtney] It was honest.

-What are you doing?
-Looking at this MILF.

Seriously, she looks so good. No joke.

[Kourtney]
That is not a good angle, sorry.

-[Kim] It's all good.
-[Khloé] Well, she…

[Kourtney] No, she's the ultimate MILF.

She looks amazing, but that…
And I'm just keeping it real.

That angle was not what's up.

-Um…
-[Khloé] Love you. Got to go.

[upbeat music]

-[Kim] Hey.
-[indistinct murmuring]

So do you… Yeah.

Do you want hair up in, like, the rollers,

or do you want it, like, softly out

and then we tie the bandana?

-We need va-va-voom.
-[Kanye] Yeah.

We need pinup.

[Åkerlund] Should we give her a moosh?

[man] A little beauty mark?

[Kanye]
Chrissy has normal hair and makeup.

I think we should, like, try to, like,

really make it look normal
Kate Moss-y hot.

French Vogue.

Your brand.

Just be concerned about your brand.

Like, thank God Kanye is here

because he definitely says
what's on his mind.

And he's definitely not feeling the, like,

blonde wig with the red lips.

I'm actually, like, happy
that he even said something,

'cause I wouldn't have had the balls to.

[man] So should we just do our own thing?

I think so.

[upbeat music]

[stage manager] Walking up, walking up.

Make a hole, guys, coming in.

-Make a hole, please.
-[Fergie] Hi, babe.

-[Kim] Hi. How are you?
-How are you?

You look so good.

[gasps]

You look so good.

-Oh, yeah.
-Is that the diva Chrissy over there?

Yeah.

-Such a diva.
-I know.

[chuckles]

She's been giving [bleep] all day.

-[Kim laughs]
-[bell rings]

[stage manager]
All right, here we go, team up.

All right, guys, can I…

Everybody start moving back.

Thank you, thank you.

-Roll it!
-[camera operator] Rolling!

[director] And playback.

["MILF Money" by Fergie playing]

There we go.

♪ You got that, you got that
You got that milk money ♪

♪ I got that, I got that
I got that MILF money ♪

♪ You got that, you got that
You got that milk money ♪

♪ I got that, I got that
I got that MILF money ♪

[Kim] People always say
the word " MILF," and, you know,

you definitely hope that you become one.

♪ Heard you in the mood
For a little milkshake ♪

♪ Welcome to
The Dairy Dutchess Love Factory ♪

[stage manager]
And everybody cleared off set.

Here we go, guys.

♪ Come on in the front door
Leaving at the back door ♪

♪ Whip it, flip it, hey ♪

I feel like this song and the message

is just all about, like, empowering women.

Once you become a mom,
they want to feel sexy,

they wanna feel powerful,

they wanna feel like they got
their [bleep] together.

They can be the best mom,
have a great career,

be a great wife,
and that they just can do it all.

♪ Now let me see you milkshake ♪

♪ Let me see you milkshake ♪

♪ I got that MILF money ♪

♪ I got that MILF money ♪

♪ I got that MILF money ♪

[Fergie] Oh, my gosh, it's so beautiful.

It's so beautiful.

[stage manager] All right,
let's rock it out, guys. You ready?

I'm about to get in this [bleep] shower
with you right now.

-[laughs]
-I'm like, get me in. I wanna touch.

[stage manager]
And we're rolling, play one.

♪ I got that MILF money ♪

♪ I got that MILF money ♪

♪ Been working extra service
To give it to ya ♪

♪ Didn't mean to make you nervous ♪

Yes.

[Fergie whoops]

♪ To give it to ya ♪

[director] Cut. Money.

[Fergie] Kim Kardashian, it's a wrap!

[people cheering]

[Fergie] MILF!

[people applauding]

[exhales deeply]
Yeah, you really know

what you're doing
on these sexy sh**t, girl.

I really have no idea.

-[laughs]
-[Fergie] Yeah, you do. Babe.

-[Kim] Thank you.
-Thank you.

I cannot wait to see this.

Thank you. Thank you so much
for everything.

-We'll text you about this.
-[man] Yeah. Yeah.

-Love you. See you later.
-You too.

-See you later. Good stuff.
-[Kim] Bye.

[man 2] Yup.

[indistinct chatter]

[upbeat music]

[Kourtney]
I have my Cosmo interview coming up.

[Kim] Do you get nervous for them?

I never did. I'm like, "Why do I care?"

[Kim] Yeah, who cares?

I just sh*t GQ.

-[Kourtney] How was it?
-It was good.

She asked me questions like Rob and Chyna,

random OJ questions
that no one really asks me,

but maybe because that show came out.

My publicist is gonna die.

She asked me how do I feel when Kanye,

like, raps about having sex
with other girls.

Mm-hm.

I do this sh**t for GQ.

[club music]

The interviewer straight up asks me,

like, how do I feel that Kanye…

talked about having sex with Taylor Swift?

I kind of just, was really truthful
and said how I felt.

I never talk [bleep] about anyone,
like, publicly, like,

especially in interviews,

but I was just like, "I've so had it."

I just felt like I wanted to,
like, defend him in it.

[Kourtney] Mm-hm.

'Cause it's like, she legitimately…

quote, says,

"As soon as I get on
that Grammy red carpet,

I'm gonna tell all the press,
like, I was in on it."

And then she just didn't like
the reaction?

Yeah, and, you know,
just another way to play the victim.

Definitely got her
a lot of attention the first time.

I just don't think
that he should be punished

for it still to this day.

I feel like I've had it

with people blatantly treating
my husband a certain way

and making him look a certain way.

Kanye is always so honest
and speaks his mind.

And, you know, when we were first dating,

everyone would talk [bleep]
and he always had my back.

At this point,
I really don't give a [bleep],

so I'll do whatever to protect my husband.

Yeah, Kanye, you know,
definitely, like, hurt her

years ago when he did that,

and it wasn't meant to be personal.

It could've been anyone.

'Cause, like, we all know
that "Single Ladies"

was the biggest song of the year.

-[Kourtney] Yeah.
-So I think

when she didn't win,

he just wanted to stand up for it.

I'm so glad that you said the truth.

[Kim]
Yeah, I'm just, like, speaking the truth.

Like, he called her, spoke to her.

She even helped him, like, rewrite.

-Yeah.
-It's so wild.

[upbeat music]

[Kourtney gasps]

You are so gorgeous.

I'm so lavender.

Is my boob hanging out the bottom?

[Kylie on video] You are so gorgeous.

-You look so cute.
-No filter? You didn't…

I put a filter on it, you freak.

[Kourtney]
Oh, thank god. I love your hair.

-Is my boob hanging out?
-No.

[Kylie] I think lavender's your color.

I think white's your color.

-What's going on?
-Um…

-[phone chimes]
-I just wanted to apologize

-for that prank.
-Mm-hm.

[Kourtney]
I just don't think that we realized,

like, what a scene…

I feel like we should've known
the second we got there,

and there was, like,
thousands of people outside.

-It was just too many people.
-It was too much to do that,

so we should've, like, stopped it.

The restaurant to the car situation…

-Yeah.
-…when there's too many fans

and paparazzi is already stressful.

And then the balloons,
and the guy was videoing,

and then, like,
you just, like, weren't sure,

like, who was in on it.
Like, it was just too much.

So, I just wanted to say sorry,
but I think

it is, you know, important

to, like, take it seriously
with the stalker.

My new thing is, like,
if I'm out in public

with the snapping,

like, I'll turn to airplane mode
and then you post them later.

I always do that.

I take it seriously.

[gentle music]

Good, yes, good.

I'm just not trying to be,

like, a hermit my whole life, you know?

They can't stop me.

We can't be scared of these things.

But I appreciate you being concerned

and apologizing.

Even though Kylie is my younger sister,

she's 18 years old.

I think sometimes we do forget

she is a mature adult.

We don't give her enough credit.

She is really smart, and I realize

she wouldn't put herself
in a dangerous situation.

She's being cautious,

and I'm really proud of her.

Ah, this angle.

Oh, it's a video.

[upbeat music]

[Kris] Hi. Hi.

[Kim] Where are you going?
You're going to London?

-[Kris] For the day.
-Why?

Because Kendall had
a really awful night last night

flying to Paris,

'cause she gets really bad panic att*cks.

-Oh, come on.
-And anxiety.

-Seriously.
-I don't know what to do.

Wait, isn't it so funny
that people think Saint,

like, doesn't exist
or something's wrong with him

'cause I don't show pictures of him?

I need to come over…

You need to move back here.

Enough is enough.

-Relax.
-No, I am.

I'm loving life.

Oh, my god, with Taylor Swift's team…

How did this all start up again anyway?

Just because I did an interview for GQ.

-The GQ that's sitting right there?
-[Kim] Yeah.

-Thanks. You didn't read the article.
-[Kris] No.

Well, if you had, you would've known.

What would happen
if you just called Taylor up?

And just say, "What…
just, you know, what happened?

How did this go so south?"

[tense music]

[upbeat music]

How did this all start up again anyway?

Just because I did an interview for GQ.

-The GQ that's sitting right there?
-[Kim] Yeah.

-Thanks. You didn't read the article.
-[Kris] No.

Well, if you had, you would've known.

What would happen
if you just called Taylor up?

And just say, "What… just, you know,

what happened? How did this go so south?"

I just… This is what I don't understand,

because truly, I really do like her,

and I really like her team,
and I really like her mom.

I guess I don't understand
the motivation to…

-flip so quickly.
-[Kim] Me neither,

especially 'cause Kanye went,
like, so far.

Like, no rapper is gonna call someone

that they're, like, rapping about
and get their permission.

-Yeah.
-Like, he really wanted to just, like,

because they've had
their issues in the past,

like, he really did wanna do
the right thing.

[Kris] And be respectful.

Maybe she just took it the wrong way.

[Kim]
I mean, at this point, I'm just over it.

Like, yeah, am I annoyed

that people try to pin my husband

as this bad guy
to, like, take advantage a little bit?

But, at this point, like,

I know the truth,

I know everyone around me knows the truth,
we all do,

so it is what it is.

You know, there's nothing
we can really do about it.

My advice is that you give Taylor a call

and try to make amends.

Thank you for your lovely advice.

-[Kris] You're welcome.
-But I'm not going to take it.

[Kim] Next on
Keeping Up with the Kardashians…

Are you excited for Cuba?

[Kanye] It feels like we're in a dream.

[Malika]
Dorothy, you're not in Canada anymore.

[Khloé] Canada?

[Kris] Hey, Kylie.

You look so cute and pretty.

All my sisters are in Cuba,

and she doesn't know
what to do with herself.

-Mom, you're acting a little crazy.
-Okay.

He was, like, waiting for me
to leave town.

I've been trying to contact Lamar,
but I am unable to.

Definitely makes me nervous.