03x05 - Nothing to Sneeze At/Old Fogey Froggy

[bunniefuu]

(Buzzing )

(Rattling )

♪ Rocko's modern life ♪

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life ♪

Rocko's modern life.

(Whistling and buzzing )

(Splat! )

(Screaming )

♪ Rocko's modern life. ♪

Rocko's modern life.



That was a hoot!

(Buzzing )

Mm-hmm.

Just as I thought.

Amphibial glottal bloatisitis.

(Chortles )

Will he be all right, doctor?

Well, it's pretty serious among amphibians.

But he's through the worst of it now.

Then how come he's...

Unconscious?!

Well, he got so excited about having something

He fell down the stairs, giving me a chance

To get his tonsils out.

Cool!

(Snoring )

(Buzzing )

(Growling )

(Belches )

(Buzzing )

(Coughs )

(Sputtering )

(Gulps )

Oh, blech!

Eddie.

Ed, wake up, ed, wake up!

(Panting )

What is it?!

I just ate a mosquito.

(Sarcastically ): thank you.

Well, you know how I hate those things!

Cryin' out loud!

Watch it...!

(Alarm buzzes )

(Yawns )

Rise and shine, lily lips.

(Smacking )

(Murmuring )

(Screams )

What's the matter?

Wha, wha, wha...

Bev! You've, you've got...

Wh-wh-what are your symptoms?!

(Mumbling )

Good god!

You've got amphibial glottal bloatisitis!

What?

Doctor: mr. Bighead.

Good morning.

Well, your wife has

Amphibial glottal bloatisitis

Which primarily infects the tonsils.

(Giggles )

Oh, but they're a cinch to remove.

So run off to work

And I'll take care of those nasty old tonsils.

(Karate cries )

Okay?

Good afternoon, mrs. Bighead.

Time to unwrap you.

(Sheep baas down below )

Oh, super!

How's your throat?

(Honks )

Doctor, could I see a mirror, please?

(Screams )

Well?

But, i-i...

I have a nose!

You certainly do.

But, doctor, I'm a toad!

A toad with a nose.

(Giggles )

Oh.

Oh, for pete's sake

The pages got stuck together.

We've made a little boo-boo.

Tell you what, this one's on me.

And if you're not completely satisfied

Within days

Bring it back and we'll take it off!

Well, I don't know.

(Sniffing )

(Shrieks )

Oh, these flowers, they smell wonderful!

Oh, you don't understand.

I've never smelled anything before!

Oh, that must be antiseptic.

It's expensive perfume.

Oh, it is so lovely!

Oh, I want to smell everything!

Everything!

(Sniffing )

Oh, oh, oh!

(Laughing gleefully )

Oh!

Oh.

(Laughing gleefully )

Oh, what a gorgeous nose!

Magnificent!

I'm fat.

(Chuckles )

(Screeches )

(Applause )

(Knocking gently )

I'm busy.

(Coyly ): well, hello.

You look incredible!

You got your hair done!

Shh!

Notice anything...

New?

Well, I don't.

You look positively...

Radiant.

What about... The nose?

Oh. Oh, yes!

Oh, it suits you!

But that's not it at all!

Well, it makes me feelterrific!

Something wrong, dear?

Ed, sit down for a minute, dear.

Oh.

(Sniffing )

(Sing-songy ): what are you doing?

(Sniffing )

Cupcake?

Yoo-hoo?

Hello?

Beverly?

You saucy thing, you.

Mm-hmm.

(Sniffs deeply )

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

(Coughing, gagging )

That's ed bighead!

(Gasps )

(Gagging )

(Coughing )

Ah!

I'm waiting for you, frogwoman!

(Sing-songy ): I'm home!

Where are you, my little pumpernickel?

Bev?

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

I waited nine hours for you.

Are you under the rug?

Nope.

I know you're here somewhere!

There you are, you littlesneak!

You're driving me wild!

Oop.

Oopsy-daisy!

I, i, um...

I'll get it.

No, no, no! That's okay.

What is this, air freshener?

Deodorant?

What's going on here?

Bev, are these for me?

Yes!

Egads! I stink!

Yes, yes, yes, it's true

You stink, you stink!

(Sobbing )

You've got help me, you've got to unstink me!

I've tried, I've tried!

Oh, bev, today, you were so happy.

A brand new woman!

And me, I'm still just a stinky old toad!

(Sobbing )

You deserve better than me.

Darling, darling, that's not true!

Yes, yes it is!

Your life is different now

And I'm not going to stink it up any longer!

Ed, it's you I love, you!

Not this dumb old nose!

P.u.!

Bev, come back.

No, I just need some time to stink!

I mean, think!

Oh, ed!

(Sobbing )

(Sniffing )

Ah, the sweet smell of crickets on a summer eve.

Huh?

Nose crisis?

Share your pain?

Well, imagine that.

Welcome to nose crisis, meeting #.

(Coughs softly )

Pardon.

I've only recently recovered

From a very serious illness.

(Loud feedback ) today, we would like to welcome

Our newest member, bev bighead

Who will now speak.

(Grunting )

(Crashing )

(Chuckles )

Well, thank you.

I'd just like to say...

Speak into the mike, fruit fins!

I'm bev bighead.

(In unison ): hi, bev!

And my husband... Stinks!

(Sobs )

I feel your pain, sister.

All: yes, we do.

Yes, we do.

Thank you.

I have a very important decision to make.

My new nose has brought me more joy

Than I have ever known.

Yet it also

May take from me the love of my life.

Yes, yes

I, too, know the hurt of having an enormous schnoz.

Never did I believe that such a pleasant...

Okay, don't hog it.

And now, please hail the founder of nose crisis, pete

Who will now perform the closing ceremonies.

(Wheels squeaking )

Meeting is adjourned.

(Groans )

Hey, babe, that's quite a honker.

What do you say you and me get a bowl of chili?

Well, actually

I'm married to a wonderful...

Ah, would you excuse me?

(Sneezes violently )

Terribly sorry, I have a bit of a cold.

Just what I need, another illness.

Oh, no!

(Congested ): dow my dose is sick.

My nose is sick?

(Crying gently )

Bev?

(Sing-songy ): look what I got!

Mr. Bighead?

Yes, yes?

I'm afraid we couldn't save her.

What?!

Whoops, I mean, her nose!

We couldn't save her nose!

(Giggles )

Sorry.

Go right in.

(Rapping gently )

(Sing-songy ): come in.

Lovely loads.

I can't smell you!

You look more beautiful every time I see you.

Oh, pshaw!

Look what I've got.

Oh!

Dr. Ed has got a prescription for love.

Oh, hurry, hurry, hurry!

(Cooing ): well, hello!

(Shrieks giddily )

♪ Aloha! ♪

Oh!

The latest.

Oh, yes, oh, oh!

Oh, you're driving me wild!

Oh, ed, ed, ed, ed.

(Both laughing heartily )

Here come the plane!

(Both laughing heartily )

(Singing operatically )

Oops.

Mrs. Bighead: ed!

Ed, darling

You'll be late for work.

Coming, sweetcakes.

(Kissing noisily )

Daddy, daddy

Look at the man's big new car.

Ooh, nice car, gorgeous.

Morning, bighead.

Morning, boss.

Early again, I see?

Yes, sir.

Bighead, if you keep working hard

Somedayyou'll be the boss around here.

Yes, sir.

Mrs. Bighead: ed...

Ed, come and get your roughage.

Ed...

Oh, not now, bev.

(Cars honking )

Learn to drive, grandpa.

Try taking a bus, moses. (Blowing a raspberry )

Bighead, can I see you

In my office?

Have a seat, bighead.

Bighead, you'll be excited to know

That there is a new position

Opening at conglom-o...

In the hot tub department.

Exciting, isn't it?

We'd like to fill the spot with someone from the inside.

Someone who knows his way around

Someone who can get the job done.

Mail, sir.

That's why we've chosen...

(Gasping )

Wilkins, the mail boy.

(Deflating )

Oh...

Face it, bighead, you're too old.

Whoo-hoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!

Mrs. Bighead: ed!

Oh, ed, will you tell me what's wrong?

(Crying )

I'm way past my prime, bev.

I'm, I'm...

Old.

What can I possibly do to feel young again?

Heffer: it's all tied up in the bottom of the ninth.

The count is three and two

And the bases are loaded.

Uh, okay, okay.

Everybody move in.

Easy out, easy out.

Let's get this over with.

Will you quit it?

Hey, batter, batter.

Hey, batter, hey, batter.

Hey, batter, batter, swing!

You can't do that.

Rocko...

Okay, okay.

Do-overs.

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, yeah.

That is a homer, barn breath.

I'm going to first now.

Second...

Home plate.

(Shrieking )

You're sucking wind now.

Both: uh-oh.

Bigheads.

Yes, yes

Home plate again.

Filburt: ow.

Heffer: move over.

Filburt: stop it.

Heffer: you're stepping on my roots.

Filburt: get off of me.

Looking for this?

Uh... Hello, mr. Bighead, uh...

(Laughing nervously )

Baseball?

Oh, I love baseball.

You guys mind if I pitch a few, huh?

Uh, you want to play?

Uh, why not?

Sure.

Filburt: hey, batter, batter, batter, hey, batter, batter.

Hey, batter, batter.

How do you like that?

You like it?

Let 'er rip, mr. Bighead.

(Glass breaking )

I'm a little rusty.

(Crashing )

Gee, uh, that was loads of fun, mr. Bighead.

Uh, we'll see you later, okay?

Hey, let's go sh**t some hoops, huh?

Or get a soda or something, huh?

Um, uh, well, uh...

We're pretty much done for the day.

Hey, I thought we were going to the comic book store.

Oof.

We'll call you.

Rocko: is he gone? (Car starting )

Heffer: yeah, let's go.

Mr. Bighead sure is acting strange.

It's like he's trying to be a kid again.

I was just glad to get rid of him.

Mr. Bighead: hey, guys.

You almost left me behind.

(Laughing loudly )

That guy's been laughing at the same fuzzy buzzy comic

For the last half hour.

What kind of kid

Would bring his grandpa to the comic book store?

Mr. Bighead: rocko!

Oh, rocko!

Oh, rocko, you're going to love this.

Oh, I just love comics-- I love 'em.

Very few people know that but it is absolutely true.

Night and day, comics, comics, comics.

Can't get enough...

You guysare coming in, aren't you?

Well... Sorry, uh...

No, I got jury duty.

I got a lot of stuff to do.

Very, very busy.

Mr. Bighead: hey, hey, rocko.

Let's play a board game, huh?

(Rattling )

You landed on my toxic waste dump.

That means I collect your only remaining house.

The game is over.

Game over?

I guess that means you'll be leaving now.

Why don't you take this game?

You can play at home by yourself for the next month or so.

You don't want to watch tv--

No, see you later.

I'll see you tomorrow again, right, right?

Right.

And, you know, don't be shy now

Uh, about calling early in the morning.

Nope.

Bye, mr. Bighead.

(Groaning )

(Groaning )

(Snoring )

So you have my number, right?

(Screams )

Mr. Bighead!

I don't want your number.

I don't want you

In my house or hanging around all the time.

Why don't you start acting your age and hang out with...

Old people?

Oh, edward, this is ridiculous.

You are not old.

It's all in your head.

Come on, my little pickle-kins.

I wonder what happened to mr. Bighead?

I haven't seen him for a couple of days.

Who cares? He's old.

(Phone rings )

Hello?

Rocko, it's beverly bighead.

Something is terribly wrong with edward.

He's got this idea in his head that he's too old.

Gee, I feel kind of responsible.

Can I speak with him?

No, he won't come to the phone.

He's just lying there as if he's on his deathbed.

Hmm....

I think I know what will snap him out of this, mrs. B.

Listen, now-- (whispering )

(Doorbell rings )

Oh, I'm so glad you could make it.

It was the least we could do.

Won't you come in?

Did he go peacefully?

(Sniffling ): yes, he just kind of drifted off and, and...

That was it.

Heffer: he still looks all warm and sticky.

Oh, ed, you were so convinced you were old

That you wished yourself to death.

(Sobbing )

Well, no sense in dragging this out.

Let's get to the good part.

One, two, three...

Lift.

And now, the appropriate dirge.

(Sobbing )

(Humming "here comes the bride" )

We are gathered here today to pay our last respects

To our beloved ed bighead.

He wasted away his entire life worrying about how old he was.

Heff.

The lid.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust

We stick ed bighead in the earth's crust.

(Groaning )

(All screaming and crying )

Does anyone have anything to add?

Oh, I almost forgot.

The garbage.

(Clanging )

Filburt: okay, bring in the cement truck.

No! No!

I'm alive! I'm alive!

I'm not dead! I'm young and alive.

I'm alive!

(Singing to himself )

Bighead, can I see you

A minute?

Bighead, it looks as though we've got another opening

In the hot tub department.

We'd like to fill that position

With someone with age and experience.

That's why we've chosen...

Carbuncle here.

Wow, wow, wow!

Wow!

Let's face it, bighead.

You just act too young for your age.