01x16 - Barnyard Idol/The Haunting

[bunniefuu]

I'm just heading to the fields, duke, I'll be back.

[Animal noises]

Clear!

[♪...]

All right!

"Rat-abunga!"

Man: ♪ from the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪

♪ We go on dancing...

[Animals cheering]

♪ ...through the night

Ow, ow, ok, ow.

Ow!

Whoo!

♪ Do-si-do your partner, now

♪ Gonna party now till the morning light ♪

♪ Do-si-do and don't you know ♪

♪ It's just the way we animals roll. ♪

Ha-ha!

[♪...]

Man: hey, folks, think you can sing?

Well, then boogie on down tomorrow to audition for "do you gots it?"

♪ I'm a bit of a dum-dum

♪ And I almost never bathe

♪ I'm so pretty, oh, so pretty ♪

♪ I'm so pretty and cuddly and smooth ♪

These singers chew cud.

My ear mites can sing better than that.

Mine too.bring it on.

So come on down and show us what you gots

For a sh*t at the grand prize, this solid gold tractor.

Ooh.

I don't care what you say, I'm going to enter that contest and win it

With or without your support.

[Sighs]

♪ All the ladies in the house with the unsupportive spouse ♪

♪ Say yeah, say yeah

♪ Can't touch this.

Otis: so it's settled.

Since they only allow one contestant per household

I'll audition for "do you gots it?"

You?

But I'm the best yodeler in the barnyard.

[Gibbering]

What about my breezy calypso stylings?

I'm serious...

I really feel like I have the strongest...

And first of all, it was my idea.

Male voice: ♪ the pipes, the pipes are calling... ♪

What is that glorious sound?

It's positively enchanting.

It seems to be coming from over there, come on.

Why, it sounds like a heavenly angel.

Or a bewitching sorceress luring us to our doom.

Hey, maybe the angel and the sorceress had a kid.

You mean a sorcer-angel?

No, more of an angel-ress.

What the...

♪ ...boy, oh, danny boy

♪ I love you so...

Pig-arotti, why didn't you tell us you could sing like that?

What... Oh, it's just my lullaby voice.

Skunky finds it soothing.

[Gasps] pig, you should be the one to go on "do you gots it?"

Absolutely.she's right.

Wait, wait, wait, wait a second, I thought we already decided on me.

Come on, otis, you can be pig's manager and coach him to victory so he wins the tractor.

Hmm, the old manager-victory-tractor angle.

I'll do it.

[Cheering]

Shh... Oh, boy.

[Screaming]

No, no way, I am not dressing up as a boy and singing just to win a stupid contest.

But, pig, think of the fame, the glory.

With me as your manager, I'll finally get those things.

No, otis.

Pig, don't you want to win that gold tractor for the poor farmer?

Still no.

Pig, do it for skunky.

Yeah, do it for skunky.

Yeah, little skunk-erico.

No, I'm out, case closed.

Ok, we'll respect your wishes.

[Whistling]

Bag him and shove him in the truck!

You people are all animals!

Announcer: get ready, people.

It's time for the hottest singing competition in the tri-county area.

All: "do you gots it?"

Hey, I'm ryan earcrust,

And this is the th show I've hosted today.

Let's get to our first contestant.

He's a mountain man from the mountains.

Say hi to mountain joe.

♪ Everybody...

♪ Weasels in the tater patch, ohio ♪

♪ Weasels in the tater patch, ohio ♪

♪ Weasels in the tater patch, ohio... ♪

[Gibbering]

Well, all right.

Let's hear what the judges have to say.

Local anchorman hilly burford.

That was amazing.

I want to say it was fantabulosticacious

But that's not a word, as it turns out.

Pop star jessica allspice.

Dude, you were great.

I want to party with you.

And bigfoot.

[Groaning]

Well, son, according to bigfoot, you're moving on to the next round.

[Groaning]

Bigfoot?

How'd he get that sweet gig?

Isn't everybody afraid of him?

No, not since he had that hit song, "no fear bigfoot."

♪ No fear bigfoot

♪ Bigfoot no fear

♪ Me no eat you, no crush your head... ♪

Hey, otis, check it out.

♪ My shoofly pie brings the boys to the yard ♪

♪ And they're like, that's really good pie ♪

♪ Yes, ma'am, that's really good pie ♪

[Beatboxing]

[Groaning]

Hold on, just hold on.

Oh, lady, that was terrible.

No joke, just atrocious.

You're k*lling me over here.

[Gasps] I'll have you know I was runner-up for miss tri-county songbird of .

I will not be insulted...

Security!

Wait a minute, let go of me, this is an outrage.

Ooh, tough break, toots.

Pip: yeah, better stick to karaoke.

[Gasps] it's those talking barn animals, stop them!

[Screaming]

If I don't gots it, then I'll make sure

Those talking barn animals don't gots it either.

We heard 'em all, pig, not a single one can match your vocal chops.

♪ Ohh...

♪ Ooh.

Ok, maybe her.

But there's one thing she hasn't got.

What's that?

I don't know... But I will think of it.

And when I do, I'm gonna tell you, and then we're both gonna know

And knowing about it is gonna make us fully knowledgeable about...

Man: clay bacon, you're up.

Whoa!

Oh...

Hey, you're a funny-looking fella, ain't you?

What's up with that?

[Clearing throat]

♪ Oh, danny boy

♪ The pipes, the pipes are calling ♪

♪ Danny boy, I love you so...

[Cheering and applause]

Son, you may be pink and funny-looking

But you just made me believe in magic.

I... [Sobs] I want to party with you.

Too bad he's disqualified because he's a barn animal.

Ooh, tough luck, son, bigfoot says...

Hey, wait a minute, you're not bigfoot.

Security!

[Screaming]

Son, you're going to the next round.

[Cheering and applause]

Yay!

[Muffled cheering]you nailed it.

Just one more round tomorrow and I'll have the fame and adulation I so clearly deserve.

Don't you mean the farmer will finally win the gold tractor?

Right, what did I say?

Never mind, come on, let's have some punch.

Can I help you...

[Shouting]: mr. Pig and cow in human costumes thinking no one notices?

Um, I'll just have the, uh, lettuce cups.

Security!

Hurry, do something.

Can't you see they're animals?

[Hawk screeches]

They put lettuce on their heads, they're animals, I swear.

Let go...

I would seriously consider hiring another craft service person.

[Screaming]

So, otis, who do you think I'm up against in tomorrow's finals?

Who cares?

I'm telling you, pig, this thing's a lock.

♪ Hoo...

[Glass shattering]

[Singing continues]

Audience: wow.

We have to rehearse.

But I thought you said...

We have to rehearse!

♪ La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la-la

Higher, pig, higher.

♪ La-la-la-la-la

♪ La-la-la-la-la

♪ La-la-la-la-la

[Sighs] if you can't break glass like that freak girl, we'll never win.

Aw, come on, otis, I'm tired, my throat hurts.

No, it doesn't, that's your soft palate burning with the desire to win.

Now try again!

Ok.

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Higher...

♪ La...

Higher.

♪ La...

[Choking]

Uh, otis, I think he lost his voice.

No, don't you see, he didn't.

It's so high, it can only be heard by rodents and scorpions.

Tell 'em, rodent.

I don't hear nothing.

How 'bout you?nope.

No, this isn't happening.

Ok, don't panic, it's fine, you know what, it's fine.

He still has a few hours to get his voice back.

Actually, he's due onstage in minutes.

You and your truth!

Milk me, come on.

This won't end well.

I know... Wanna go watch?

I'm there.

I love a good train wreck.

♪ Ohh...

♪ Yeah.

[Cheering and applause]

Ok, pig, you're up.

And don't worry, I'll do your voice from behind the curtain.

You just lip-synch along.

Is that fair?

Fair don't puts otis on the cover of "solid gold managers yo" magazine.

[Person coughs]

Otis, do you even know the words to this song?

Of course I know the words.

The words...

Otis: ♪ oh, skunky boy

♪ The clowns, the clowns are hollering ♪

♪ With hay for all

♪ And lots of magic pie

♪ So let's eat fruit...

I'll expose those animals if it's the last thing I do.

[Inhales]

Cheating, huh?

I might have suspected.

♪ And I like elves...

[Gasping]

Busted!

What the...

It's a scam. [Screams]

[Groaning]

They're making a mockery of this show

Which embodies all that's great about us as a species.

Lady, your vigilance has saved this show and made you a national hero.

Oh, and that's not all, they're also talking barn animals.

They live next door to me

And have wild, ritualistic hoedowns all night long.

You had me, and you lost me.

Security!

That one's a cow, and he's a pig, I'm not crazy...

Whoo, what a whack job.

You clearly can't believe a word out of her mouth.

Well, on with the show, right?

Take 'em downtown, fellas.

This is an outrage.

Hey, I'm an audience favorite here.

Otis: get your hands off me.

I'm going to be famous.[Crash]

Hop on, we're busting out of here.

[Tires screeching]

[Yelling...]

♪ ...an ave there for me

[Purring]

Glad to hear your voice is back, pig.

Look, I just wanted to say... I'm really sorry I didn't get famous.

Aw, it's ok... At least I got this nifty tote bag.

Too bad the farmer couldn't keep the tractor.

But, officer, I have no idea how that got here.

Yeah, yeah, get in the car, pal.

Well, better start getting his bail together.

No, no, it's not necessary, otis.

Skunky, come on, wake up, little guy.

Skunky, go get 'em!

Farmer: aah, skunk!

Aah, the smell... [Yelling]

So what's for lunch?

I don't know, but I'm starving.

Abby: I could go for some tacos.

Farmer: aw, geez.[Siren wailing]

[♪...]

There, my friends, my hammer and I present to you...

The fun shack.[Insects chirping]

All right, who's making cricket noises there?

[Chirping]

Otis, that doesn't look like much fun to me.

Yeah, you sure you didn't order malibu betty's termite dream house by mistake?

[Laughing]

Peck: that's a good one, bessy.

Oh, tee to the hee.

The box says "hours of fun for the whole family."

Are you calling the box a liar?

Why, yes, I am.

But please don't tell the box I said that.

Look, just get your furry butts in there, ok?

Ok, but only to see what a ridiculous waste of...

Is that a steam room?

A steam room?

Pig: ooh, let me see.

Freddy: what else is in there?peck: move over.

Step inside, there's room for everyone.

Peck: a bowling alley!pip: a jai alai court!

Freddy: I wonder where this elevator goes.

Abby: hey, look, a full-sized disco floor.

[Animals cheering]

[♪...]

Pip: that was awesome!

I'm going back later to hit the olympic-sized swimming pool.

But first, pigster, snack-defy us.

Oh, you got it.

Who wants tater tinies?

[Grunting]

You know, you could just say no.

What, what are you talking about?

[All gasp]

Um, that can be easily explained.

That is somewhat less explainable.

[Ghostly moaning]

And that defies all known logic and reason.

Well, I'm off to tibet, good luck with everything.

Otis, I'm scared.

Me too.

This has all the earmarks of a haunting.

Otis, did anything weird happen while you were building your fun shack?

Weird, no... No, it was really easy, actually, after I removed this big, flat rock.

"Here lies winky."

Otis, this is a tombstone.

A tombstone?

Otis, you woke up a g... [Stammering]

Apparition!

Oh, that means ghost!

[All shouting at once]

Guys, guys, relax.

There is no such things as ghosts.

[Grunting]

You were saying?

I'm guessing we have a ghost here.

But I'm sure he is way more afraid of us than we are of him.

Now, I know all about ghosts, so let me handle it.

Abby, get me cloves of garlic.

We got a ghost to whup.

No... [Stammers] can't you see he's reaching out to us?

There's something he wants to tell us.

Is that so?

So what do you suggest?

[Nasal whining...]

Is that a special ghost-summoning chant, otis?

No, it's my sinuses.

It's terribly dry in here.

Ok, let the seéance begin.

Everyone hold hooves.

Now the special ghost-summoning chanting.

Ghostly chanting, ghostly chanting, chanting, ghostly, chanting, chanting...

Show yourself.

Where'd you get that ridiculous mumbo jumbo?

Right here in "the big book of ridiculous mumbo jumbo."

Otis, let bessy handle it.

She's the ghost expert.

[All talking at once]

Fine, fine, let the enemy of fun take a cr*ck at it.

'Bout time.

Now let me show you how it's done.

Oh, ghostly spirit, reveal yourself to us that we may speak with you.

[Gasping]

Pip: hey, look, it's a cute little rabbit.

He must've been the pet of somebody who used to live on the farm.

Mighty spirit winky, why do you haunt our barnyard?

My grave was disturbed, disturbed.

Oh, yeah, that was me.

See, I bought this fun shack off the internet.

Oh, you should see this thing.

It's got, like, a bowling alley and a disco...

It has disturbed me.

[Yelling]

Ok, ok, winky, try to calm down, calm down.

Uh, tell me how I can set your spirit at rest.

Speak these words:

Hocus dicaprio noctum.

And that'll put your soul at rest?

Mm, something like that.

Ok, easy enough.

Hocus...

Don't do it, otis.

I know that spell.

It's one that ghosts use to possess people.

Bessy, bessy, bessy.

You may have a lot of knowledge about the supernatural

[Laughing]: but I'm gonna do it anyway.

All: no, no, no...

All right, all right.

Hocus dicaprio... [Muffled]

Whew, that was close.

He almost said "hocus dicaprio noctum."

Aw, crud monkeys.

[Screaming]

Excellent.

Now that I've got a body, I can release all my fellow ghost pets

And we shall once more walk the earth.

[Cackling]

Or at least waddle the earth.

Hey, that's insulting.

Pig, fight him.

Expel him from your body.

Oh, I can't, it's... It's too strong.

Silence!

I control this body now.

You've got exactly five seconds to get out of my friend pig.

Whoa!

Come on, fred, pig needs us.

Are you kidding?

I'm a huge chicken.

Hmm, huge chicken.

[Chomping] ow!

Whoa...

Try that on me, you ghost pig.

Everett, don't do it.

Why not, it's fun.

[Laughing]

[Crash]

All: whoa...

That's it, rabbit, no one messes with my friends.

Here, use this.

A vacuum?

Yeah, bessy, I'm thinking we can tidy up afterwe battle the evil ghost bunny.

It's an ecto-vacuum, you moron, for sucking up ghostly spirits.

But what if we suck out pig's spirit by mistake?

He'll just be an empty husk with no personality.

I'm ok with that.

Now vacuum him up before he goes and wakes up his dead friends.

Too late. [Laughing]

[Beeping]

What are you waiting for?

Get him.

I can't, I can't risk hurting my best friend.

Pip: I thought I was your best friend.

Right, I mean second best friend.

I thought I was your second best friend.

Uh, no, you're my best friend on the girl list.

You can't have a different list for girls.

Well, I do.

It's pink and all the I's are dotted with puffy hearts.

Best friend coming through.

Best male friend.pip: whatever.

Whee!

Here, if you can't do it,i will.

[Beeping]

[Grunts]

[Grunting]

Great, now he's gonna go dig up his dead friends and we'll all get possessed.

Look, don't worry, pig's still in there.

We just have to find a way to reach him... But how, how?

And again I ask how?

Need snack break.

What, carrots aren't enough for you?

Now dig.

[Ghostly moaning]

Guys, hey, it's me, winky.

Winky, is that really you?

Man, you really let yourself go.

I possessed this body, you idiot.

It was the best I could do on short notice.

[Squawk] polly wants to possess the living.

And so you shall.

There's a bunch of doofus animals in that barn with enough bodies for all of you.

Soon we'll all be walking the earth again.

[Cackling]

Dead pets group handshake.

All: dead... Pets!

[Grunts] this ought to hold 'em.

Freddy, they're ghosts... I don't think hay is going to stop them.

Maybe they're allergic.

None of this would've happened if you used garlic like I said.

Maybe we can use something even stronger than garlic.

Like the power of love.

Or, you know, garlic's good.

Stay alive, I will come back for you.

I shall return!

They're in there, fellas.

Just get them to say the spell and it's fresh bodies for everyone.

[Ghostly moaning]

[Grunts]

Ow.

[Screaming]

You don't want my body.

I'm a total spaz, see?

[Gibbering]

[Squawk] polly wants a body.

Say it, say "hocus dicaprio noctum."

Bessy: back off, suckers.

It's ghost-whupping time.

Don't mind me, I'm just gonna do some cleaning up.

[Yowls]

No, no...

[Squawk] polly wanna talk this over.

Release my friends.

Fat chance, but why don't you join 'em?

You just messed with the wrong -year-old ghost bunny.

All: whoa...

If we can't have your bodies, then you can't either.

[Cackling]

[Door slams]

Never fear, everyone, for I have brought pie.

Pie?

Otis, you've got to be kidding me.

Maybe you haven't noticed, but we're about to be flung into the abyss, you moron.

Oh, come on, doesn't anyone want pie?

It's banana cream.

Me want pie.

You?

I thought I had you under control.

Oh, you'd be amazed how stubborn pig can be when it comes to his desserts.

Like banana cream pie.

Get away from us.

Mm, pie.

[Grunts] creamy...

[Grunts] it's stupidly delicious.

Must have pie.

No... Yes... No... Yes... No.

Fight it, pig, fight it.

The power of pie compels you.

The power of pie compels you.

[Chomping]: oh, yeah.

Ah.

Fine... Now, if we can please get on with...

[Choking]

Otis: the recipe, you ask?

Why, it's quite simple, really.

Just bananas, sugar, cream...

[Shouting]

And cloves of garlic!

[Screams]

Hey, what do you know, an ecto-vacuum, cool.

I wonder what this button does.

No...

[Screaming]

Pig, are you ok?

Speak to me, buddy.

Otis, otis, I'll never forget what you did for me, otis.

You mean saving you from ghostly oblivion when all hope was lost?

No, I mean for this pie.

Garlic and bananas, who knew?

It was the least I could do, pig.

Now to find a safe spot where these restless spirits will never bother us again.

Announcer: three weeks later...

Dude, this is the perfect spot for our native american sweat lodge.

I know, and check out this rad bulgy vacuum bag I just dug up.

Free bag!

[Whooping]

[♪...]

Man: o...

Mation.

[♪...]