04x07 - Closet Clown / Seat To Stardom

[bunniefuu]

[Buzzing]

[Rattling]

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

[Whistling and buzzing]

[Splat!]

[Screaming]

♪ Rocko's modern life.

Rocko's modern life.

That was a hoot!

Mrs. Bighead: what's that? Okay.

Okay, I'll tell him.

All right, you too, sissy.

Bye-bye.

Sis sends her love.

You don't have a sister.

Well, that's peculiar.

[Clanging]

Did you hear something?

What?

Did you just say, "honk, honk"?

I don't think so.

[Honking]

That sounds like a clown.

Oh, ed, don't.

Having a little car trouble, jingles?

We don't like your kind around here.

Look, pal, we don't want any trouble.

Shut up, duck!

You people make me sick, with your floppy feet

And your--

Ed, ed, why don't you leave them alone?

Go back inside, bev.

This doesn't concern you.

Well, put a sweater on, for crying out loud.

Where was i?

[Squeaking]

Why, you sneaky, rotten circus mime!

Take your freakish sideshow back to scandinavia

Before, before i...

[Wheezing and coughing]

Before i...

Hey, get this eyesore off my property.

[Truck gunning its engine]

Look at me, I'm a clown, I'm a clown.

Give me a break-- huh.

Darling, did the tow truck come?

Tow truck?

Eh, oh, yes, yes, it come-- it came.

That's good.

Well, I'm off to see the girls, darling.

You have a nice day at work.

Right, right, work, yes. Work.

Thank you, ninneman.

All right, we will now hear from smellings.

Smellings?

Smellings, mo-mellings

Fee, fye, fo-fellings.

All: smellings.

Very good.

Heathwood?

Uh, heathwood, fo-farnatz.

Oh! No, no, wait!

You're fired.

[Screaming]

Barnes.

Barnes.

Uh, mo-marnes...

Fee, fye, fo-farnes.

All: barnes.

Excellent.

Let's hear from ninneman again.

Ninneman: ninneman, mo-minneman

Fee, fye, fo-finneman.

All: ninneman.

Very well, gentlemen.

That will be all for now.

[All mumbling]

[Honking]

Duh...

Hello there, I'm a clown.

No, that's not right.

Hello, everyone, I'm a clown.

I'm a clown, I'm a clown!

[Toilet flushing]

Bighead, I'd like to see you

In my office, please.

Come in.

Mr. Dupette, i...

A ring a-ding ding.

Mr. Dupette?

I had a funny feeling

About you, bighead.

Mr. Dupette, I'm not sure I understand

What's going on here.

Have a seat, have a seat.

So, what are you into, hmm?

Birthdays? Barbecues? Bat mitzvahs?

Well, I don't, I don't know, i...

I never, I never--

Don't tell me you haven't gone public yet.

Public?

You must be joking.

Do I look like I'm joking to you?

If this is part of you, bighead

You're going to have to accept it sometime.

It might as well be now.

But how?

I'm too afraid.

Hello, chuckles.

Du-du here.

Say, I've got a new one.

What's that?

Wh-- mm-hmm.

Oh, thanks, pal.

[Squeaking]

Here you are, bighead.

You're on.

Birthday party.

A real birthday party.

Break a leg, bighead.

But... I'm not ready!

[Rings doorbell]

Where's the clown?

You're supposed to be a clown.

Do something!

[Honking]

[Kids cheering]

Oh, thank heavens.

Hello, boys and girls.

Whoo-hoo!

There you go.

Good night, little ones.

[Cheering]

Thank goodness for clowns like you.

My pleasure, ma'am.

But wait, we never learned your name.

My name is...

Ed.

Ed the clown.

[Cheering]

[Door squeaking and opening]

[Horns and noisemakers blowing]

Filburt: yay! Make a wish.

Little tiny wishes.

Gosh, seems like they were just born.

Doesn't it, though?

[Sobbing]: and i... I...

I just don't know what to do anymore.

[Sobbing]

Are you listening to me, dear?

Aw, that's the pits, mrs. Bighead.

'Scuse me!

♪ Oh, the yellow rose of texas... ♪

Youch!

She hurt my nose.

[Crying]

We'll have to get a scratching post for you.

Ow![Doorbell rings]

Do you mind, mrs. Bighead?

There's someone at the door.

Not at all, dear.

[Sniffling]: not at all.

I'm sorry, dear.

I don't have a nose.

[Both sobbing]

Ed the clown, at your service.

Oh, won't you come in?

Your attention, please.

Well, hello.

[Cheering]

[All gasp]

Great clown.

Hey, clown.

You want to funny it up a little?

[Babbling]

[All laughing]

Hey, give me back my--

Mr. Bighead's a clown!

Oh, boy.

[Laughing]

Sorry.

Wait, wait, wait.

I can explain.

Ed, you're a clown!

I, I know I'm not a well...

Yes, yes!

I'm a clown!

Oh, ed.

I'm so relieved.

Relieved?

You're... You're not ashamed of me?

Ashamed?

Bev, I'm a clown!

Oh, darling, I don't care what you are

As long as you're still mine, you big, slimy nutball.

Everyone has secrets.

That's what makes us special.

Yeah?

Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a pixie.

And I keep a baboon heart under my pillow.

What's that?

Nothing, dear.

[Giggling]

Well, I'm wearing european-style undergarments.

There, you see?

And, well, I've always liked...

Rainbows.

[Woman shrieking]

Rocko!

[Giggling]

Oh, my.

That's disgusting.

Let's get him.

[All yelling]

Hey, did I say rainbows?

I meant, uh, dolls.

Not dolls...

Uh, I meant...

Man: ...and what a momentous night this is!

Do you see anything, heff?

Just the back of a bunch of heads.

How about you?

Looks like a forest of ankles down here.

You, filburt?

I got a bird's-eye view of the grand canyon.

And here he is now!

[Hysterically]: ooh! Hoo-hoo!

A limo just pulled up!

Great, and I can't see a thing.

[Screeches to halt]

[Grunting]

Oops!

Sorry about that.

[Flashbulbs popping]

It's really, really big man!

Oh, I'll never get his autograph from back here!

Ooh.

Eek.

Rocko: sorry.

Ah.

Rocko: pardon me.

There he is!

Kids, don't try this at home.

[Shutters clicking]

[Chuckles]

Can I have your autograph?

[All laughing]

Security.

Wait, it was an accident, I was just...

Filburt: "bottoms-up for big man."

[Heffer laughing]

Bottoms up!

Get it?

Give me that!

You get it, rock?

Some guy's heinie made the front page!

[Laughing hysterically]

[Laughing embarrassedly]

Yeah, it's a cr*ck-up.

[Laughs weakly]

cr*ck-up! Get it?

Whoo!

Hey, filburt!

Who am i?

[Cracking up]

Stop it!

Stop it!

I'm going to wet my shell.

[Rocko groaning]

[With european accent]: is perfect!

This is just the tush we need

To round out our new wedgie boy underwear campaign.

Bring me those buns!

[Tires squealing]

[Footsteps running]

Great! Now all we need is the fanny that fits it.

Famous fashion designer announces worldwide search

For last night's mysterytuches!

You guys can go home.

There's only one posterior that's going to fit

And it belongs to me.

You go first, brother.

You have the more shiny heinie.

But, brother, it is not shiny that matters, but tiny.

[Laughing]

You are so cheeky!

Too tiny.

Yes, but together, we make one perfect heinie.

Next.

Okay, bev

That seat is our ticket to wealth.

[Chuckling]

[Farting]

I'm famous!

I'm the one!

I think not.

Get it off him!

But I'm your butt!

I'm the one! It's me!

Wonder what all the commotion's about.

Looks like musical chairs.

Come on!

Who's next?

Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!

I'm next!

[Clanking]

Get off, you idiot!

[Clanking]

Hey! Wait just a... I was...

That's it, I give up!

This hunt is futile!

[Crying]

Go ahead, rock.

I don't know, heff.

Go on, go on!

Don't you want to be famous?

Not really.

Well, it is a comfy fit.

[Handel's "messiah" playing]

♪ Hallelujah!

♪ Hallelujah!

♪ Hallelujah!

Congratulations.

Now, yourtuches is mine.

[Cheering]

Okay, big guy, let's see the goods.

Spin around and shake that booty!

What? Like this?

Beautiful!

Now put on these jeans.

Okay.

Now take them off again.

Take them off?

Wonderful!

You're a natural.

[Horns playing opening flourish]

[Music playing]

[Crowd cheering]

Oh, heh, uh, hi, there.

Heh, hello, everybody.

Yes, nice undies, aren't they?

Okay-- "stop and turn back gracefully."

Heh, heh, oh, thank you.

Thank you, too, heh.

He's so natural, so beautiful.

Heff, everybody's bonkers for me bum!

Heffer: you've got the most famous fanny in o-town.

I'm not sure I like it.

What are you complaining about?

You wanted to be famous.

No, I'm not.

Wedgie boy?

Me? Oh, uh, no, you must be mistaken.

No, it's him, all right. See?

Put me down, heff!

Oh, I love wedgie boy!

All: wedgie boy!

[Hearts pounding]

[All screaming]: oh, wedgie boy!

[Screaming hysterically]

Wedgie boy!

Oh, wedgie boy!

Hey, sit on me!

Sit on me!

Wedgie boy!

[Crowd screaming]

Sit on me, sit on me!

[Panting]

All this commotion over my behind?

I better check on mr. Popular.

[Ringing]

Rocko: hello?

Hey, rock, it's heff...

This is rocko.

Sorry I can't come to the phone.

Please leave a message

And I'll call you back as soon as I can.

Yeah, it's just me, heff, calling to make sure

We're still on for watching monster movies tonight. Bye.

[Female wailing operatically]

[Wailing operatically]

Rocko: um, excuse me.

Director: cut!

What does this have to do with underwear?

Everything!

Hold it... Good.

Just a few more.

[Clock ticking]

Uh-oh, I was supposed to be at heff's half an hour ago.

Excuse me.

May I use the phone?

[Sighs]

No.

[Man screaming on tv]

Its tentacles have got my glasses!

[Gulps]

[Screaming]

[Sighs]

Oh! I got a message.

Yeah, it's just me, heff, calling to make sure

We're still on for watching monster videos tonight. Bye.

Oh, I know it's late, but I better call him back.

[Rings]

This is heff, at the sound of the tone

Please leave a message, unless you're a wedgie boy

Who's too busy and famous to bother with his friends.

Huh, guess he's not home.

[Dial tone sounding]

[Rooster crowing]

Don't hate me 'cause I wear wedgie boys.

Too late.

Director: let's take five.

I wonder what heff's up to.

Maybe he'd like to come by.

Heff?

Rocko?

You're on.

Hey!

Leave me alone!huh?

Can't you see that I'm busy?

What? You calledme!

[Growling]

Rocko?

Rocko?

Rocko?

[Dial tone]

The nerve!

Wedgie boy, indeed!

I'm going down there tomorrow

And give rocko a piece of my mind!

Listen, you little rodent

You don't have a personal life.

And another thing.

I don't care who calls for you

You don'thave friends anymore!

You're a product, period!

You got that, wedgie boy?!

Wow.

Heavy is the crown.

What you got there, pal?

Heffer!

Is that the new super wedge-o deluxe model?

Pretty.

I've found nothing pretty

About the world of high fashion.

I'm just a fabulous behind without a face.

Nobody knows the real me.

[Crowd oohing and ahing]

[Crowd clamoring]

[Gasping]

Who's responsible for this?!

Yes! This is all my idea.

It is pure me!

His posterior is simply superior!

[Heffer laughing]

The end.

Get it?

The "end"!

[Laughing]

No buts about it!