02x04 - Cupig/Happy Animal Fun Time

[bunniefuu]

I'm just heading to the fields, duke.

I'll be back.

[Engine rumbling]

Clear!

[Rocking square dance music]

All right!

♪

Ratabunga.

♪ From the haystacks

♪ Up to the hilltops

♪ We're going dancing...

Whoo-hoo!

Ow. Ow.

Okay. Ow. Ow!

♪ Do-si-do your partner now

♪ There's a party till the morning light ♪

♪ Do-si-do

♪ And don't you know

♪ It's just the way we animals roll ♪

[Motorcycle revving]

Ha-ha!

[Romantic music]

♪

"I can no longer hide my love for you.

"I desire you with all of my heart.

Signed, your adoring admirer."

Print!

Oh, man, if that doesn't win

The "why I love flaky tarts" contest,

Nothing will.

Oh, flaky tarts, I love you.

Pig, get out of the way!

Bessy just insulted me, and need to go onto

Incrediblywittycomebacks.moo and get a clever retort.

Here we are. Now, let's see...

Bessy called me a warehouse of stupid.

"Possible comebacks..."

Oh, these are good.

These are very good.

I shall skew you with the words I have taken

Of the interwebs, lady cow.

[Laughs] print.

Thanks, pig.

No problem.

Hey, where's my flaky tarts love letter?

Well, I'll just print another.

[Laughing] oh, yeah.

[Clears throat]

Oh, yeah, bessy?

Well... "Same to you."

Yeah, huh?

You want some more of that, huh?

Here we go.

"In your face."

[Laughs]

Ah, that had "face" in it.

I got another one.

"As if."

Ha! Dine on that sandwich.

Whoo! Kapow!

Ha, ha!

Man, revenge is sweet.

You say something, moron?

[Whistling]

Hey, surprise fun letter.

"I can no longer hide my love for you.

"I desire you with all of my heart.

Signed, your adoring admirer."

Hot stuff. How about that.

Who do you think said it?

I don't know. Come on, guys.

Isn't it obvious? It is?

Who--who is it? Is it hanna?

Or that new she-goat?

Oh, come on.

It's someone we know really well.

Bessy? Everett?

Give us the species.

It's someone we see every day.

Mrs. Beatty? Mr. Beatty?

Wonder lady?

No, it's abby!

Abby? You mean-- you mean our abby?

You think? No.

Although--

Really? Abby?

I told you.

You should tell her you like her back.

What? No way. Too risky.

What if it's not from her?

That would be the worst thing ever.

Well, maybe not the worst thing.

[Yelling] mad scorpions!

Get 'em off me!

I'm not kidding.

This is very, very uncomfortable!

Crash

Um, that would be worse.

Crash

Yep.

No, I need to be % sure

That abby wrote that letter before I tell her I like her.

Why don't you just ask her if she wrote it?

Ask her? That's crazy talk.

I'll use lies, subterfuge, and deceit.

[Laughing maniacally]

I'm okay.

Hey. [Startled gasps]

What are you guys doing?

Otis is trying to get abby to admit

She wrote him a love letter.

A love letter? Huh, no kidding?

I just wrote a love letter this morning to--

Pig, please

I need to begin operation girl talk.

Operation girl talk? Yeah.

I'm gonna call abby pretending to be hanna,

Engage her in some girl talk,

And get her to say who she has a crush on.

Love it. Brilliant.

It can't miss. Luckily, I'm a gifted mimic.

Hello.

[In girl's voice] oh, hello, abby.

This is hanna the female girl hen.

Bagock!

Oh, hi, hanna. What's up?

I'm in.

Yes, well, you know, I thought I'd call

To chat and stuff and, I don't know,

Talk about boys we like.

Okay. Who do you like?

Who do you like?

You go first. Oh.

Well, okay.

Um, I like...uh, peck.

He's keen.

Uh-huh. What else do you like about him?

[Groans angrily]

Well, he's handsome,

And his feathers don't stink.

Hey, peck, otis likes you.

Otis and peck sitting in a tree...

Would you keep it down?

So anyway, who do you like?

Well, I am kind of stuck on somebody.

Uh-huh, uh-uh. Go on.

I don't think it's any secret

That I have a big old crush on...

Hey, abby. Hi, hanna.

Hanna?

Oh, it's on.

You really want to know who?

Yes, yes. Tell me.

I have a huge crush on...

[Air horn blares]

[Screams]

[Laughing]

Otis, you thought you could prank me,

But I totally got you.

Huh?

I said, "I totally got you."

What? I totally got you!

What?

Otis. Ah! A mouse!

Oh, it's you, pip.

What are you doing under the table?

Well, abby and bessy always have lunch here every day.

If abby wrote that love letter to me,

She's bound to tell her best friend.

Why don't you just ask her if she wrote the letter?

Don't be ridiculous.

Besides, girls love to talk about this stuff.

They got some kind of gall bladder enzyme,

And it makes 'em all blabbidy.

Man, you really know women.

Oh, here they come. Later.

[Gasps]

[Whispering] psst. It's otis.

He's on one of his pranking kicks.

Follow my lead.

Oh, gee, bessy.

This table is a little off.

Would you help me get it into place?

Sure. No problem.

Move it that way. No, this way!

Now shake it about.

Shake it up. Now groove it over.

Now tilt it. Tilt it back.

Hard. Harder!

So now we can eat.

Bessy, would you pass the salt for my fries?

Sure. In fact, let me salt them for you.

Okay.

[Groans]

Oops. I spilled the super hot sauce.

Here, let me squeeze some lemon on that.

Oh, darn.

There goes the extra-thick molasses.

Oh, snap.

I spilled the sardine chum chowder.

Here, let me warm your food with a flamethrower.

These hot embers might do a better job.

Ow.

Whoopsy, toxic waste.

Say, I wonder what would happen

If I shoved this giant sword through the table.

[Screaming] oh, no.

My body is tender.

[Laughter]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I see.

Yes, it's very hilarious.

Oh, it serves you right for trying to prank us.

Prank you. [Laughs]

Hey, and for your information, i...uh,

Happen to have been looking for the lost city of the incas.

Nope, not there. Well, I'm off.

An explorer's work is never done.

[Laughter]

I got to find out if abby wrote that love letter.

For the last time, just ask her.

Please. That's the coward's way out.

It's so funny that you got a love letter today,

Since just this morning, i--

Pig, please. I'm trying to think.

Why don't you check if abby has a love shrine to you?

A what?

You know, a secret shrine to her beloved,

Like my shrine to chef jacque labeouf,

Inventor of the chicken nugget.

How long's that been there? A couple of years.

A love shrine.

That's just the proof I need.

Freddy, peck, you go distract abby.

Pip, meet me at abby's stall in five minutes.

We've got a shrine to find.

Ooh. I'm full.

[Munching and crunching sounds]

[Spy music]

♪

Hey, abby, where have you been?

Yeah, we hardly see ya anymore.

I see you guys every day.

Really? That's fantastic.

Hey, who wants to guess my weight?

Oh, abby does. Abby does!

I'll pass.

Oh. Hey!

Was that a bucket?

Hey, let's play charades.

Say, you wouldn't be trying to stall me

While otis sets up another prank, would you?

Both: uh... Want to wrestle?

Wrestle? Why didn't you say so?

[Joints pop and cr*ck]

[Yelling]

Shrine. Shrine.

Got to find a shrine.

Dude. A shrine?

No. Hair dye. Abby's not a real blond.

Would you keep looking?

It's got to be around here somewhere.

Maybe it's in her super secret drawer.

She doesn't have a super-- hey, here it is.

What?

Oh, my gosh. A super secret drawer!

[Groaning] okay. Okay. Uncle.

Wait a minute.

You fellas don't like wrestling.

You aretrying to stall me.

No, we weren't.

Yeah, otis isn't going through your stuff,

If that's what you're thinking.

He's what?

Yeah, come on. Open.

Why won't you open?

[Gasps] abby!

Otis, what are you doing in my stall,

And why is pip blond?

Later.

Stall? Is this your stall?

What's a stall?

I thought this was my super secret drawer.

I mean, I'm inspecting for termites.

It's a lie.

No, no, no. Seriously. I--

Whoa!

[Grunts]

[Shrieks]

Oh, why won't you just admit

That you wrote me that love letter

So I can admit that maybe I might feel the same way

And we can get on with our lives.

Love letter?

Otis, I never wrote you a love letter.

What? You mean you never--

You didn't--

[Car horn honks]

Huh? What's that?

I won.

I won!

Both: don't be stupid, don't be dumb.

Eat flaky tarts. They're yum, yum, yum.

Now here's flaky.

I want to speak to the author of this

"Why I love flaky tarts" letter.

Me, me. That's me.

I wrote that letter.

Well, I hope you're hungry, because you've just won

A lifetime supply of flaky tarts!

True story!

[Sweeping instrumental music]

♪

"Why I love flaky tarts" letter?

You could've just asked her.

You know, you could have suggested that before.

Um, otis... [Shrieks]

What was it you were saying about feeling the same way?

Oh, that.

Well, I can easily...

Uh, I mean, um...

Social discomfort!

[Sighs]

[Groaning] oh.

Wow, kid, I didn't expect you to eat a lifetime supply

Of flaky tarts in one afternoon.

Oh?

[Laughing]

Why are you looking at me like that?

Seriously, you're creeping me out.

You--you do know this is a costume, right?

Pig want eat big flaky tart.

[Yelling] waah, get away from me!

The giant pig boy is trying to eat me!

Is anyone gonna help me, or am I just talking to myself?

Seriously, this is just rude.

At least fade out the scene.

[Upbeat music]

♪

By the power of oden, I strike now,

For as god!

[Thunder crackles]

Can you just take your sh*t already?

I'm doing it.

You got it. Looking good.

Come on. Yeah!

Great sh*t. Nice.

That's another one.

Guys, we are totally taking back

The interbarnyard bowling trophy tonight.

I don't know.

Those llamas from the gomez farm are pretty tough.

All: [snarling]

Those llamas are going down.

Nothing can stop us from winning

That trophy tonight, nothing, I say!

Otis, otis!

Are you as excited as I am about the concert tonight?

Are you kidding? I am pumped.

I am-- a concert?

I can't believe we're gonna see breanna texacana

Performing live.

I also cannot believe the thing your mouth is saying.

Otis, did you forget that you spit swore

To take me to this concert?

"Forget" is such an ugly word.

Well, I remember it clearly.

Oh, otis, thank you for the flying pony.

The only other thing I could ever want in life

Is to go see a breanna texacana concert.

No problem, abigail, my dearest.

I shall take you to that concert.

[Gasps] spit swear?

Double spit swear.

[Clearing throats viciously]

[Sighs] it was both gross and magical.

Okay, I do remember the spit swear,

But the pony was not flying.

That's not the point.

Breaking a spit swear is the most traitorous thing

One friend can do to another.

But, abby...

It would make our entire friendship a lie.

I would be totally crushed, and then I would have

To do something very, very bad to you.

Abby, I was kidding with the jokes.

Of course we're going.

We were always going.

I love, uh...

Breanna texacana?

Yes. Love her.

Whew. You had me going there, otis.

I know. You totally bought it.

I did. I bought it.

I really thought you didn't remember.

Yeah, good times. You're funny.

You're the best at everything.

We're going. I'll see you later.

This is not good.

Otis, you can't go to that concert.

Without you, we have no hope

Of taking back that trophy tonight.

I know, but what can I do?

I spit swore.

Otis, why don't you just tell her the truth?

Lying, of course.

Yes, that always works!

It's gonna have to be a whopper, though,

Something so big, so important,

It completely cancels out that dumb concert.

Lying only lead to other lies.

Other lies! That's even better.

Okay, guys. Here's our story.

[Whispering]

Okay, otis. I'm ready to go to the concert.

What?

Oh. That looks great there.

[All speaking at once]

Oh, hey, abby. Glad you could make it.

Uh, otis. What are you doing?

We're gonna be late for the concert.

Come on.

What? The concert's tonight?

Oh, abby, I can't go tonight.

What? Why can't you go tonight?

And this had better be good, otis.

Why, look around. Can't you see?

The herring cactus, the tp garland,

The traditional lettuce leaf hats.

Why, it's happy animal holiday fun time festival!

What in the world is that.

[Gasping] what?

You've never heard of happy animal...

Holiday... Uh, festival..

Fun time? Yeah, that.

It's only the most important barnyard holiday there is.

We celebrate it every year.

But I've been here for two years.

Every / years.

It's a day of joy and amusing traditions.

Hey, otis, you walked under the toilet paper.

You have to kiss a pig.

[Laughs] this one's particularly gross.

Smooch

[Giggles]

There's the ironic gift exchange...

I sold my blood to buy you these back hair combs.

But I sold my back hair to buy you this barbell.

Oh, the iron--

[Groans]

Then at the stroke of :,

The happy fun time elf rides in on his magic snowmobile

And distributes gifts

To all the animals in the barnyard.

Yay, look at me.

I'm the happy whatever fun time moose.

[Chuckles] good job.

So you see, abby,

I couldn't possibly go out tonight on this,

The most important animal holiday of all.

I wish I could. Have fun at that concert thing.

Happy animal holiday fun time festival.

Bye.

She bought it. It's bowling time.

Yeah! Woo-hoo!

Otis? [Gasps]

I'm not going to the concert.

What?

But I thought brenda bananafana was really important to you.

She is.

But you guys are my family,

And if the happy animal holiday fun time festival

Is so important,

Then I'm gonna celebrate with you.

Together: no!

They mean, "no problem.

We're gonna have the best time ever."

Excuse me a moment.

Otis, what are we gonna do?

Bowling starts in ten minutes.

I don't know. I don't know.

Well, you better think quick, or we're gonna lose that trophy.

So, fellas... [Gasping]

What do we do first?

First?

Well, first you put on your festive lettuce hat.

Then you close your eyes and count to .

A party game? I'm in.

Great. Start counting.

Its so nice to be with your friends

On the holidays.

We've got four minutes. Come on.

One, two, three...

All right. Whoa, ho!

Let me tell you, sonny.

Otis and his friends better show up,

Or the game, she's a forfeit.

Si,forfeit. El forfito.

[Breathing heavily]

Sorry we're late. Well, enough small talk.

Freddy, you're up.

Yaa!

[Grunts]

Crash

Bonzai.

Crash

[Shrieks]

Crash

Bowling sh*t.

Crash

Woo-hoo! Yeah.

b*at those sh*ts, llamigos.

And record your scores faithfully.

Back in a minute. Go, go.

Come on. Go, go.

How you do that?

...

!

Together: happy animal holiday fun time festival.

Uh, shouldn't you guys be hiding or something?

Hiding? Oh, that would be weird.

Why? Oh.

Well, anyway. What do we do next?

Next? Oh, uh, well...

It's time to bob for holiday pickles.

Bob for what?

Less talking. More bobbing.

Hey, this does look kind of fun.

Now remember, don't come up until you find a pickle.

Okay, come on. Move it.

Oh, oh. Is that a pickle?

[Up-tempo music]

♪

[All cheering]

One more frame like that, and we win.

That'll be great. Run!

How'd they do that?

[All gasping]

Otis, there ain't a single pickle in here.

Pig, did you forget the pickles?

Sorry. Way to ruin the holiday.

Guys, why does freddy have a bowling ball?

What? Yeah!

Holiday pain.

You know, I'm beginning to suspect

That things aren't what they seem around here.

Okay, let me just say this...

Happy holiday fun time elf!

Where? Where?

[Growling]

[All panting]

[Groans]

[Grunts]

[Groans]

You makin' fun of us? 'Cause we will mess you up!

All right, can you mess up our faces

After we win the trophy, which is gonna happen

Right after this next awesome sh*t.

Stop! Yeah?

What is this marvelous sound which I am hearing?

It is like the tinkling of tiny magical bells.

Si,bells. Come.

We will investigate.

Hey, wait. Where you going?

Follow those llamas!

Ho, ho, ho. Merry animal fun time holiday.

What the-- dude.

I thought you said the happy animal holiday fun time thing

Was made up.

Well it is. I mean, it was.

Happy holiday. Who wants presents?

Ooh, ooh. I wish to receive presents.

As do i. Si,presents.

Otis, ain't it great?

The happy fun time elf appeared just like you said she would.

Come on!

This could be a trick, guys.

That elf's voice sounds vaguely familiar.

Doesn't it? I can't quite place it.

Still...presents.

I want one!

Look. I got a tiny lounge jacket.

I got socks. Yes!

Yeah.

Llama, you've been especially good this year.

I shall treasure this holiday snow globe forever!

Yeah, that warms my heart.

Now let's all sing one of them happy holiday songs.

Ooh, I've got one.

♪ It's beginning to look a lot like ♪

♪ Animal holiday fun time festival ♪

All: ♪ all around the town

♪ La, la, la, la

Guys, come on. If we sneak off,

We can still finish the game.

Otis, it's a holiday.

The game, she is, how you say, cancell-ed.

Cancell-ed?

But I was about to win!

Do not be cross, my friend.

Join the fun time elf in a holiday song.

Oh, please.

Look, that is not a holiday elf.

What's that?

Who says I'm not a happy animal fun time whatever?

Together: he does!

[Gasps]

Otis, why would you say such a thing?

I thought you loved this holiday...

Unless, of course, you've been lying to me the whole time.

What? I--

Why, I would never lie, per say.

Pip told me to.

Dude.

Seize the unbeliever.

Okay, seize him.

Get him!

Wait, no. Stop. Wait.

I'm delicate.

Now lower him into this holiday pudding,

Which I just happen to have in my magic snowmobile.

It shall be done, elf.

No, no. What are you doing?

Guys, this is all a misunderstanding.

Come on. Let me go.

No, no.

Moo. [Gargling]

I admit it. It was all a lie!

Stop!

Otis, what do you mean?

I wanted to go bowling,

But I spit swore to take you to the concert,

So I made up a phony holiday.

It was all a lie.

Hey, a pickle!

Thank you, otis. That's all I wanted to hear.

Happy animal fun time, you moron.

[Laughter]

Bessy? It was bessy.

She's not an elf at all. More lies!

Can I still keep the jacket.

Okay, this we do not understand.

I understand, my brothers.

I understand that happy animal holiday fun time is real

If we believe it in her hearts.

Ah, si. In our hearts.

Yeah, let's go with that.

So who wants pudding?

Pudding. I want pudding.

I knew you were lying the whole time, otis.

I'm sorry I broke my spit swear, abby.

Can you ever forgive me. Of course I can.

That's what holidays are all about.

This is the best happy animal holiday fun time ever.

All: [ humming the tune of glory to the newborn king]

Yeah, I'm out of here.

♪

[Rocking square dance music]

♪