- I'm just heading to the fields, duke.
I'll be back.
[Sheep bleating]
- Clear!
[Upbeat hoedown music]
- All right!
♪
- Rat-a-bamba!
- ♪ From the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪
♪ We go on dancing
♪ To help us do the milking through the night ♪
- Ow, ow! Okay, ow.
Ow!
- ♪ Do si do your partner now ♪
♪
♪ Gonna party on till the morning light ♪
♪
♪ Do si do and don't you know ♪
♪ It's just the way we animals roll ♪
[Motor roaring]
- Ha ha!
- [With cajun accent] mmm, mmm.
Don't that smell good, yeah?
That's chef big bones' deep-fried chick-own.
[Applause]
Now shake a little
Of chef big bones' five-alarm cajun spice right on there,
And pop that delicious chick-own right in your face hole.
Mmm, that's good chick-own, I guarantee.
- Hey, freddy. - [Screams]
I was sleepwalking.
I'm not watching a meat-grilling show.
That would be disgusting
And entirely out of character for me.
- Yeah, it sure would.
Hey, we're playing kickball.
You should come by.
- Okay, sure.
Again, not a meat show.
- And now it's time for to reveal the winner
Of chef big bones' fan recipe competish-own.
And the winner is...
- Pig, last chance to play kickball!
- Do I have to get up?
- Yes, generally you have to stand to do things.
- Ah, then I'll pass.
- Bring it, lady cow.
They don't call me "grand lord
Imperial ball-kicking emperor wizard" for nothing.
- Dude, nobody calls you that.
- I know. Why is that?
- Here it comes.
- [Freddy screaming]
I won! I won!
I won! I won! I won! I w--
I won! I won! I won! I won!
Ahh!
- Nice sh*t. - It needed to be done.
- So, freddy, what's this all about?
- I won chef big bones mignon's fan recipe contest.
- Oh, chef big bones.
He's the one who says, "that's one good chick-own right there."
- Yeah, he says, "pop that chick-own
Right in your face hole."
- And then he goes, "wash that chick-own down
With some chick-own grease, I guarantee."
- "And put that spicy five-alarm powder on that chick-own."
- Yeah! - That's the guy.
- He really likes chick-own.
- Uh, guys? Are you aware that "chick-own" means "chicken"?
- What? - It does? - That's disgusting.
- Freddy, how could you submit a recipe
To an animal-roasting show?
- No, it's not what you think.
My recipe uses a soy-based rooster substitute
Called tofrooster.
Male announcer: tofrooster.
- Oh, well, that's okay.
- Well, now, that's different.
- Anyway, he's cooking my recipe tomorrow night on live tv,
And I want you all to be in the audience.
- We'll be there. - Wouldn't miss it.
- Who knows?
Maybe if this goes well,
I could even get my own cooking show.
- What would that be like?
- Let's see how our seafood bisque turned out.
- [High-pitched scream]
- Don't think so. - Yeah, maybe not. - Forget I mentioned it.
[Upbeat instrumental music]
[Spitting]
- You call this fresh own-yown?
I call it an abominash-own.
We go on the air in one hour, and I need a fresh own-yown.
Thud!
- Chef big bones, sir?
I'm freddy not-a-ferret.
- Oh, there he is, the winner of my competish-own.
Your recipe, she a thing of beauty--
That garlic, that own-yown.
I just got to make one modificash-yown.
- Modificashee-own?
- Modificash-yown.
- Shee-on. - Shyon!
- Shyon! - That's right.
I got to use a real rooster.
- What? But what about the tofrooster?
- Yeah, that tastes like hot garbage.
Ain't nobody eating that.
- Well, I won't allow it.
Roosters are kind, loyal animals who make wonderful roommates...
[Horn honks]
Probably.
- Fine. You don't like it?
There the fake kitchen door.
- Fine. I'm leaving.
I bid you good day, sir.
- Good day to you, then.
- Good day to you. -Good day to you.
- Good dayto you. - Goodday to you.
- You sure you won't reconsider?
- So how'd it go?
- Terrible.
Big bones is planning on using a real rooster in my recipe.
- What? - That's terrible.
- I told him I want no part of this delicious travesty.
I'm outta here!
- Right. - Me too. - Let's roll. - Right behind you.
- Guys, wait a minute. We can't go.
There's a poor, defenseless rooster somewhere backstage
Who needs our help.
- Peck's right; this situation demands action.
Let's go write a strongly worded letter!
- Shouldn't we just go find the rooster and bust him out?
- Also a good plan.
Remind me to write you a thank-you letter.
- Or you could just thank him right now.
- Guys, why do you hate letters?
Stay sharp, guys.
We have to find that rooster,
No matter how cunningly hidden, how deviously concealed, how--
- Found him! - [Rooster squawks]
- Don't be frightened; we're here to save you.
- Save me?
You mean these are not the auditions for the seattle opera?
- No, it's a cooking show.
You're about to be deep fried and eaten on live tv.
- [Gasps] forza del destino!
- Come on; let's get you out of here.
- ♪ Oom baba ootee oomp oomp--
Hey! What y'all doin' to my rooster?
- Later.
- Uh, why, chef big bones.
This is so...
Leave now!
- Let's get out of here.
- You thought you could get away, huh, rooster?
You got a date with a deep fry, I guarantee.
- Gulp!
[All panting]
- Whew, that was close.
- Wait a minute. Where's peck?
- There he is!
- Oh, no, they've got peck!
- We got to bust him out before they cook him!
- We can't; that guard's putting him under lockdown.
Our only chance is to grab him
When big bones brings him out on stage.
And pig is going to help us do it.
- Will there be movement involved?
- Yes, remember what I said about standing and doing things?
- All right.
[Cheers and applause]
- It's time for chillin' and grillin' with your host,
Chef big bones mignon!
- Ready to be lovin' some chick-own!
[Cheers and applause]
Good, good, good.
Well, tonight chef big bones is going to be lovin'
The deep-fried rooster.
[Applause]
- The show's starting.
- I don't know, otis.
You really think this is going to work?
- Of course it'll work.
You just go out there
And challenge big bones to a chef-off,
And when he brings out peck, you be right there to grab him.
- All right, I'll do it.
I'll do it for peck.
Oh, ow, my foot!
Oh, my head!
[Glass shatters]
[Belches]
Together: pig!
- Sweet cud, he's out cold.
- Now who's going to grab peck?
- Well, I got him into this,
So otis is just going to have to get him out.
- That's very brave of you, otis.
Your sacrifice will not be-- oh, wait, I'm otis.
- [Big bones humming]
Now let us cut up some that yellow pepper.
Oh, that's one the prettiest veg peppers.
I tell y'all what;
If that yellow pepper was a woman, I would marry her,
And then we would have beautiful yellow pepper children.
[Door thuds]
- [With italian accent] stop-a!
- So what is the meaning of this disrupshee-yown?
- I'ma the world-famous chef luigi cappellini,
And I challenge-a you to a chef-off-a!
[Audience gasps]
That's-a right-a.
No chef can refuse the challenge on live tv.
So I challenge you...live! On tv!
[Audience chanting] chef-off! Chef-off!
- Well, I've got to protect my reputashee-yown.
All right, we gonna have us an old-fashioned chef-off.
[Cheers and applause]
- Bene!
Now bring out the rooster you must have hidden backstage
So that we can cook him, eh?
- Now, hold on.
Everybody know a chef-off has three rounds:
Salad, ice sculpture, then the entree.
- I'ma know that. I'ma know that.
All-a these-a things you say with your mouth, I already know.
- Then let the chef-off begin!
[Crowd cheering wildly]
- Good food!
- Round one, salads!
[Fast-paced music]
♪
Audience: wow!
- b*at that, chef luigi.
- Ha! Your salad, it'sa making me laugh.
Ha, ha ha!
That's me laugh at your salad.
Check this out.
Chop-chop-chop-chop-chop-chop- chop-chop!
[Audience complaining]
Ha!
[All booing]
- Wow, otis is not good.
- Doesn't matter.
He just has to grab peck when big bones brings him out.
- Hey, guys, am I too late to help?
- Round two, ice sculpture!
[Fast-paced music]
♪
Voila!
[Glorious music]
[Cheers and applause]
- Ice is cold!
[Saw buzzing]
- ♪ O sole mio ♪
♪ Ba la la-la la
♪ I don't know the words
♪ So I'm gonna sing these words ♪
I'ma making the ice cube.
- That stinks!
[Audience booing]
- Hey, let'sa get to the entree.
- Well, that's all right with me, chef.
Time for big bones to deep fry him some rooster.
- [Screams]
- [Gasps] - [gasps]
- [Gasps]
- Mmm. I mean-- [gasps]
- No! Stop-a!
- You better get away from my rooster.
You get away! - That's my lever.
[Both arguing]
- En garde!
- Ha!
And a ha. And a ha.
And a ha.
[Dramatic music]
♪
- [High-pitched scream]
[Sizzling]
[Coughing]
- Sorry, big bones,
But this rooster's not on the menu.
- In our final story, local chef big bones mignon's
New recipe for mustache jambalaya
Is taking the county by storm.
- That's right.
It's like a vacation in your mouth, I guarantee.
- [Slurps]
Mmm, that's good mustache.
[Farts] hey, I don't feel too good.
- Otis, I can't believe that phoney big bones
Is getting the credit for your mustache recipe.
- Mm, who cares?
Freddy's imitation rooster is awesome.
- Imitation rooster's great. - You can say that again.
- Hey, wait a minute. Where's peck?
- [Screams] - [screams]
- [Screams] - [screams]
- [Screams]
- Hey, guys. Whatcha doing?
[All sigh in relief]
- I don't even want to tell you what we were thinking.
- That the secret ingredient in tofrooster is dandruff?
How'd you guess?
- [Screams] - [screams]
- [Screams] - [screams]
- [Screams] - [screams]
- ♪ Ahh! - [Farts]
- Suddenly, at the beginning of the episode, this happened.
So then the tick says, "get this dog off my butt."
[Laughter]
- Who wants lunch?
[All exclaiming]
It's delicious homemade stew.
- Well, if you made it, it has to be goo--
Oh, cud, why?
[All complaining]
- Dude, what did you put in this?
- Well, let's see.
Motor oil, damp hay, some orthopedic insoles,
And some weird stuff that was caked to the wall.
[Slurping]
- That's just gross. - What are you trying to do, k*ll us?
- We were out of everything. I had to improvise.
Just try it.
[Grunts]
Hey, the ladle's stuck.
- Oh, let uncky otis's cow muscles help wittle piggy
With his big, bad spoon.
[Grunting]
Am I on a prank show?
- Oh, that's just sad.
Let me show you how it's done.
-Uh-oh, smells like failure.
- Just imitating you.
- Guys, give it up. It's just an old stew pot.
- Give up? Never!
I have not yet begun to pull spoon from stew pot!
- All right, fellas.
Let her rip!
- I don't know about this, guys.
You know how much the farmer loves his new truck.
- I'm so happy you're in my life.
More sparkling cider?
[Horn honks]
- Oh, duke, you're just a big old worry pouch.
Besides, I'll be gentle.
Pedal to the metal, baby!
Going to the floor!
[Tires screeching]
[Metal creaking]
- Come on. Come on.
Pull, darn you!
- Uh, was that supposed to happen?
- Now it's a semi.
- Hey, guys, what do you--
- What? Probably just some minor structural--
Oh, that is not good.
- Otis, where are we going to get the money
To fix that truck?
- Guys, don't worry.
We're sitting on the invention of the century.
Pig stew is obviously some sort of wonder glue.
We'll just mix up some more and sell it on the tv.
- Why don't we just use the glue to fix the truck?
- 'Cause that don't puts otis on the tv.
- Pig, can you remember how you made that stew?
Announcer: good question! Let's hear his answer.
- Sure, I'll just need to experiment a bit
To get the proportions right.
- Montage!
- ♪ It's a science montage, a succession of some clips ♪
♪ 'Cause it takes too long in real time ♪
♪ A decagram of this and a beakerful of that ♪
♪ Hoping for a chemical reaction right here ♪
♪ It's a science montage
♪ Yeah, they're working real hard ♪
♪ In a cartoon montage format
♪ Wearing crazy goggles and a laboratory coat ♪
♪ Soon they're gonna try to stick an anvil to the wall ♪
♪ Science montage!
♪ Never try this at home
Plunk!
- It won't budge.
- That stuff really works.
- Guys, let's go sell some glue.
Abby and bessie, ready on the phone banks?
- Ready. - Yeah, I'm ready...
Ready to whup the moron who glued my butt to this chair.
- Ha ha! Glued butt.
I mean, who would do such a--
Peck, ready on the satellite dish?
- Ready. - All right, places, people.
- We pirate the airwaves in five...
Four, three--
[Computer beeping]
- How come you don't say "two" and "one"?
- You're supposed to use your fingers.
- Well, I don't have fingers. - That's not my problem.
- Hello!
Welcome to the barn shopping network.
I'm human tv pitchman steve not-a-cow here
With the greatest life-changing invention
Since spray-on chest hair.
That's right; I'm talking about moo gloo,
The space-age adhesive with patented staying power.
- [In booming voice] staying power!
- And here to tell us how it works
Is the inventor of moo gloo, dr. Hiram snoutyman.
- Thanks, steve.
Moo gloo works through a series of processes.
- Amazing.
But can I use moo gloo to make exciting fruit sculpture?
- I'm doing it now.
- Fantastical!
What else can moo gloo do?
- It can also glue ferrets to walls.
- [Screams]
- [Laughs] he's not coming off.
Why, I'd pay $, for this in stores.
- And yet I'm offering it to your viewers for just $..
- Wha? Do you have a fever?
- Why? Am I sweating?
[Laughs]
- Bro, we got to get some moo gloo.
- [In high-pitched voice] moo gloo, moo gloo!
Duddely duddely doo gla-glue glue!
- If it's half as good as the bejewelerizer,
I'll take seven.
- Oh, crikey.
- [Screams]
- Bigfoot wants three bottles.
Hi, thanks for calling moo gloo. Please hold.
Hi, I'm back.
Bottles? You got it.
- Okay, enjoy your moo gloo...
You sorry little freak.
Hello. Thanks for calling moo gloo.
- Mr. Mayor, we have a crisis.
There's a cr*ck in the city's manure-containment t*nk.
If we don't patch up that cr*ck,
The entire town will be flooded with manure.
- This is serious.
And serious things make me nervous.
Better turn on the boob tube to calm down.
- So just one bottle of moo gloo stuck all those shoes together?
- Yup.
- Moo gloo can glue anything!
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Sally, get me my credit card.
- This is a good episode.
I have an idea for one where the animals race go-carts.
- Awesome job, guys. - You're telling me.
- That was amazing. - You said it.
- Otis, we made over $.
- Well, that's more than enough to fix the farmer's new truck.
- Yup, everything worked out pretty darn well.
- Uh, did freddy just explode?
- Yes.
- I hope it wasn't the glue.
- What? Of course it wasn't the...
- Whoa!
- Glue.
- It must ripen into a powerful expl*sive after...
Two hours.
- See?
- That only gives us an hour to get back all the glue we sold
Before it explodes in people's houses.
- You're right. To the--
- Nice glue, dummies.
Announcer: she's being sarcastic.
She knows the glue isn't nice.
I'm putting her in the go-cart episode.
- Hello, you probably remember us
From the moo gloo commercial.
- Yes, your wonderful products
Saved my limited-edition sad girl clown bicycling.
- Why, she's precious.
May I see her with my hands?
- Well, i--oh.
- Mom.
- Here's your refund. - We saved your life. - You're welcome. Bye!
- Dude, thanks to moo gloo,
We finally built our dream tree house.
- Wha? - Dude, free pickle!
- Hey, come back here, pickle.
- I'd like a pickle.
- ♪ Retrieval montage
♪ It's a retrieval montage
♪ Making it go faster 'cause it's boring in real time ♪
♪ Trying to get the glue before the city goes kablamo ♪
♪ Here's some gratuitous slow motion ♪
♪ We are lousy chemists
- [High-pitched scream]
- Good work, team.
According to the sales list, we found all the glue.
- Whew. - What a relief.
- That was a close one. - You can say that again.
- That was a close one.
- Oh, I'm so happy.
- Uh, dude, check the back of the page.
- What? What are you talking about?
I don't see any--sweet cud!
We sold pounds of glue to city hall?
- Oh, yeah, didn't I mention?
- Come on! - Let's go. - All right!
- Wow.
Now, that's what I call a sticky situation.
Let's k*ll some time
By answering some of today's viewer mail.
Mahesh from bangalore writes, "dear pig,
How can I start my own business?"
Well, mahesh, first you'll need to raise some seed money.
The simplest way is to find a magical leprechaun,
Follow him to his pot of gold,
Then imprison him in the rainbow forest.
You can now use his gold as capital for your new business.
Next, find a suitable location to set up shop.
I recommend an extinct volcano or the moon.
Finally, you'll need a friendly and courteous sales staff.
Don't hire donkeys; they're surly and unpredictable.
- You're surly and unpredictable.
- See what I mean?
Beep! - [Screams]
- And there you have it.
You're ready to open your doors.
Just remember the first rule of business:
The customer is always named phyllis.
Now back to the action.
- This just in.
The town's cracked manure vat has just been fixed
Thanks to moo gloo, the wonder adhesive
That's taken the county by storm.
- Pig, when did you make that -pound batch?
- I think it was around :.
- Then we've got exactly three minutes
Before that t*nk explodes and floods the town with manure.
- Oh, my. They'll have to think fast to get out of this one.
- Uh, you gonna keep doing that?
- Oh, excuse me, mr. On-camera talent!
Let's see if you make it into my go-cart episode.
- Stand aside.
- Do I know you?
- Federal manure inspectors.
We need to inspect your manure.
- Which is why that's our job title.
- Yes. Stop your mouth.
- Federal manure inspectors?
Never heard of you.
- We're an obscure offshoot
Of the u.s. Bureau of inspecting stuff.
All right, you guys. Move it out.
- Now, hold on. That's county property.
- Yes, well, I have no further explanation.
Bye.
Let's get out of here!
- Go, go, go!
[Engine revving]
- Manure thieves! After them!
[Sirens wailing]
[Lively music]
- Faster, otis.
We only got seconds till the manure t*nk explodes.
- A shocking development.
It seems the town's manure vat has just been h*jacked
By a g*ng of fake federal agents.
Hey, get off of me.
[Insects buzzing]
Okay, that's disgusting.
- Five seconds till expl*si*n, otis.
- Hang on!
- Well, what do you know.
That manure was dangerous.
- Those fellas ain't manure thieves; they're heroes!
[People cheering]
- Well, guys, it wasn't easy, but with a little teamwork,
We fixed the farmer's truck.
- Look out. Here he comes.
- Hello, old girl.
Did you miss me?
[Engine turns over]
- Hey, freddy, beautiful job on that rear bumper.
- Thanks, otis.
I used pig's special glue to fix it.
- Uh...
- Would that be the glue we just spent all day
Trying to track down and destroy so it wouldn't explode people?
- Yes.
What's your point?
- Never mind.
Announcer: don't worry; the farmer recovered
And will soon star in my amazing go-cart episode.
- I think we need a new announcer.
Announcer: too late. The end!
02x09 - Iron Otis/Too Good to be Glue
Watch/Buy Amazon
Following the events of the film, the series' plot generally revolves around Otis and his friends going on various misadventures and trying to keep their anthropomorphism a secret from humans.
Following the events of the film, the series' plot generally revolves around Otis and his friends going on various misadventures and trying to keep their anthropomorphism a secret from humans.