01x04 - Soul Mate

[bunniefuu]

Great to see you.
It's been too long. Honestly.

- Bye, Libby. See you.
- Best of luck to Dennis.

[Kate laughs]

I didn't know Dennis...

Bedtime?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Get into the bed.

[Kate moaning]

[Miles moans]

[moaning continues]

[Miles moans]

[Kate] Oh, I love you so much.

Oh, God.

[moaning continues]

[sighs]

[Kate and Miles continue moaning]

[sighs]

[whistling]

This play is my life.

This is my story.

These are my thoughts.

Are you trying to piss me off?

You're drunk on power.

I'm gonna do that pitch.

I'm gonna k*ll it.

You're gonna see that I k*lled it,

then you're gonna get on a plane to Fiji
or wherever and go!

- [door closes]
- Are you sure?

[birds chirping]

- What the hell are you doing?
- Well, uh...

Should I be jealous of that pillow?

[awkward chuckle]

Uh, what are you doing home so early?

Well, your office called and invited me
to your promotion party.

I came home to get changed.

Promotion?

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

They said the pitch went really well.
I thought you knew.

Uh, yeah, no, I did. I just, um...

I wanted to surprise you.

Congratulations! I'm so excited.

Are you so excited?

- Hmm. So excited.
- Yeah.

Hey, do you wanna pregame
with some champagne?

I could run out to the store.
Actually, no, I'm gonna...

I'm gonna choose what I'm gonna wear.

By the way, where is your car?
It wasn't in the driveway.

Oh, it's in the... shop.

[Kate] Oh, God.

Again? It's lucky I came home.
We can go together.

Although, if you...
if you wanna go ahead of me,

[stammers] I'll catch up.
I can take an Uber.

[Kate] Why would you do that?

Is something wrong?

What? No.

You know, you should really enjoy tonight
because you do deserve it.

[chuckles]

You know what?

You're right.

- I do deserve it.
- [Kate chuckles]

[Kate chuckles]

Okay.

[chuckles]

[people laughing]

[New Miles] So, I'm thinking, "Hey,
my luck might be turning around." Right?

But before I can make a move,
I guess I fell asleep in the backseat,

because the next thing I remember,
Kate is screaming.

She's terrified by this baby bear.

She just wakes up shouting.

So... [stammers]
She's like, "Drive! Drive!"

Then I wake up, I look around,
and I think to myself...

[Miles] "Where's the steering wheel
on this car?"

[glass shatters]

No? Well...

I guess it's funnier when he tells it.

Dude...

you have a twin?

[chuckles]

Miles, are you gonna introduce us?

Um...

Uh, yeah, this... this is, uh...

my brother...

from out of town.

Does he have a name?

It's, um...

Miles.

Kate! Wait.

We have a history.

Excuse me.

[laughs]

[snorts]

[inaudible]

- I...
- [Kate] Don't...

say a word.

- You have...
- Not another word.

[drawer opens]

[rustling]

[drawer closes]

Okay. So, j-just to be clear,

one day last week,

you decided to skip work

and you went to a massage parlor
in a strip club

where you let twocomplete strangers
sedate you,

resulting in this.

Is that right?

It was a strip mall.

But, uh, basically, yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

And just one other question.

Okay.

[yells] Are you insane?

Can I say something?

[yells] No, I don't even know who you are!

[stammers] So you...

So you both share the... the same genes,
like... like, twins?

[both] Exactly.

We even share the same memories.

So you both remember our first kiss?

Yes.

Yes.

And our wedding night?

- Oh, yes.
- Yes.

And what I look like naked?

Oh.

- Yeah.
- Well...

Do you have any idea

what a violation that is?

- A violation? Kate. Come on.
- Well...

Legally okay, maybe.

[stammering] Spiritually,

emotionally, physically,

and yes, legally.

How is that not a violation?

- It's not like that.
- [Kate] Oh.

I'm sorry.

What is it like, then?

[stammers] I think what he's trying to say
is that

while those words
have negative connotations...

[Kate] Oh, yeah, yeah.
Just a little bit, Miles.

The words like, um...

like secret,

or clone,

graveyard.

Understood, but...

But if you look at it
through another point of view...

[Kate] Oh, no.

No. Stop it. I'm not...
I'm not arguing with the two of you.

One of you is bad enough.

[groans]

That, um...

That night when you made me
that lovely squash thingy, that...

That was him, wasn't it?

Yes.

Yeah.

And at that party when...

when you were being so fantastic,
that was him?

Yeah.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

And afterwards, when we had sex,

was it him?

No, no. That... That was me.
That was all me.

Uh...

though, I'm not so sure
that was a good thing.

[Kate] Oh-ho.

Be sure, Miles.

None of it is a good thing.

This isn't all about you, you know.

[scoffs] Excuse me?

You're unbelievable.

I was stuck.

I needed help, so I got it.

I'm sorry. Maybe not in the way
that you wanted.

Certainly not in the...

way I imagined, but...

it worked.

He's been...

great as me, better than I could ever be.

[Kate laughs]

[Miles] I'm sorry for the way
things have been. I-I am.

But I needed this.

I needed him.

I still do.

At least until this...

Hillston thing is over.

If he's willing.

It's up to Kate.

I don't even know what to say.

But I do know one thing.

I want him,

whatever he is,

out of this house,

tonight.

[gasps]

f*cking column.

[footsteps depart]

Wife kicked you out?

My wife, actually.

Right here?

Yeah.

[Miles] Brochure says
there's a fitness center...

and a pool.

It's just till the Hillston campaign
is done,

a couple of weeks.

Don't worry about me.

You can keep the phone,

and we'll get you a few more things
for the place this week.

And a car.

It's fine.

[sniffs]

I never thanked you...

for your help...

with work...

and, uh...

Kate.

Even she can see you're better than me.

Thank you for not...

I don't know what I'd do if she left me.

[door closes]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[alarm sounds]

[Kaylyn] I'm going to an EDM festival
tonight, if you wanna come.

House music is so good,
because it, like, gets in your body.

You know, and then everybody
is, like, pulsating...

as one.

It's like a collective heartbeat.

[New Miles] Right.

Oops. [clicks tongue]

[alarm sounds]

Hooray, it's the weekend.

[doorbell rings]

My clone brother.

All right, so,
you feel like you're married?

- Yeah.
- But you're not?

No.

- It sucks.
- Yeah, it does.

- I'm empathizing.
- Are you?

Yeah, I'm trying.

I mean, honestly,
the whole concept of marriage

is just bananas to me.

You're lucky you left
before Mom started the real fun.

You know, there is a beautiful
Judeo-Christian notion.

Although, it originally dated back
to Egyptian mythology...

Okay. Pedantic, Henry.

Anyway, it says that a marriage

is the union of two halves
of the same soul

separated at birth,

that... that each of us has a...

a literal soulmate,

who each of our own half soul

yearns to... to join with
and form a whole.

And that we are incomplete
without that union.

You know, like, Jerry Maguire.

[New Miles] Hmm.

Right? "You complete me."

Oh, yes. I love that. Thanks.

I don't know, it just... you know,
it seems like it's relevant to this.

- Does it, Henry?
- [Henry] Mm-hmm.

How exactly is that helpful
in this moment right now?

Well, I mean, you know, there is a...

There's a lot of half souls
in this situation.

- [New Miles] Hmm.
- Listen.

- Do you actually want some useful advice?
- Yes.

Kate is out. Okay?

But out there is
a whole new world of people, right?

And all of them...

wanna get laid.

And if they don't,

somebody else does.

You got Tinder, Da8er, you know, Grindr.

You can branch out.
You could find anybody you want,

or you could do it
the old fashioned way.

You find somebody hot, ask them out.

Trust me,

like any real love,

start with the f*cking.

That's what he did.

Now look at him.

Are we almost done, darling?

Not even close.

[sighs]

See you later.

Bye.

[New Miles] Hey.

Would you...

like to have a drink or something?

[upbeat music plays]

[moaning]

[Kaylyn moans loudly]

[Kaylyn] Slap me.

- Huh?
- [Kaylyn] Don't move.

- Okay.
- [Kaylyn] Aah!

Oh.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh! Ooh!

- Okay. Don't stop.
- [New Miles] Wait. What?

- [Kaylyn] Oh, okay.
- [New Miles] Should I...

- [Kaylyn] Mm-hmm.
- [New Miles] Like that?

- [cellphone keyboard clacking]
- [messages chimes]

[gasps] Hey, you wanna go dancing?

It's 3:00 a.m.

I know, but there's a barge dance
in the city.

This DJ steals barges.

It's now or never.

- Uh...
- Nevermind.

[inhales]

I'll just tell them you're old. [sighs]

[snoring]

[knocking]

Is there a grown up here?

Dad! It's for you.

[man groans]

[laughs]

Emma, go eat pancakes.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Uh, I-I know you said not to come back.

Emma.

[speaking Korean]

Unh-unh.

You know, I, uh...

I never got your name.

Youngsu.

Um...

So, uh, you...

You live here?

In the back.

With your wife?

No.

Oh. Well, uh...

Yeah, my wife is, uh...

with the other one.

[clears throat]

- Uh...
- [door opens]

Ah, sh*t.

You want us to clone a client
from a hair sample without her consent?

Yeah, but it's okay.
She's my wife, sort of.

We provide a service for clients.

We don't manufacture humans
for your pleasure.

Besides, two of the same person

is a bad scene
in case you hadn't noticed.

It's very bad.

Did you see that sign out front?

We had to shut down the entire branch
thanks to you.

I'm out of work, man.
You gonna pay my rent?

Even you being here is dangerous.

Uh, corporate doesn't like us.
They are not nice people.

[stammering]

- Sorry?
- You should be.

Why didn't you just leave town
like a normal person?

You haven't told anyone?

No.

Good.

Leave here.

You should be ashamed.

[sighs]

Let's find my soulmate.

[keyboard keys clacking]

[computer chimes]