02x09 - Home Improvement

[bunniefuu]

HOME
IMPROVEMENT

I think that teenagers do
care about the future.

And I think this could be the best
generation this country's ever seen...

Let's go up behind Walmart
and sh**t some turds.

We're are out of BB's.

Let's go over to Stewart's house
and light one in his cat's butt.

We're out of M-80's.

- Let's burn something.
- We're out of kerosene.

- Got anymore glue?
- We're all out, dude.

We're out of cash too.

We need to invest in our youth,
through new education programs,

better schools, drug enforcement...

I don't like stuff that sucks.

Yeah.

... can go to college if they want to
and if they...

What is this?

This is crap.

Art sucks.

Whoa. Hey, that's that guy
from that country in the news.

Yeah, that's him.

- This video needs more blood.
- Yeah.

- Is that the president?
- Yeah.

This is like the ending
of that Rocky Four movie.

No way asswipe, that
didn't look like Mr. T.

No dude, you're
thinking of Rocky Three.

No, Mr. T was in Rocky Four.

No, dumbass, Rocky Four was where he
kicked ass on that dude from that country.

No, dude, that was Rocky Two.

Which is the one where he
takes a Kn*fe and kills all those dudes?

- That was cool.
- Yeah, that was... Rocky Six.

Yeah,
Rocky Six was the best one.

Have you seen that movie Rocky "V"?

Yeah, it's not as cool
as Rocky Five, though.

This video has a message.

Yeah, the message is: change it.

He's dressed up like
that dude on the dollar.

"You got what I need."

"But you say he's just a friend."

I'm pretty cool.

"Ooh baby, you".

"Got what I need".

"Amadeus Markie".

What?

Hey Beavis, I'm gonna get me one of
those gold chains to put around my neck.

- Me too.
- I would look pretty cool, huh?

Now, you'll only be painting the trim,

and if l see so much as a drop of paint
anywhere's else,

you'll clean it up
and it'll come out of your pay.

I don't wanna see a whole lot
of brush strokes and bubbles, neither.

You know,
back when l was in the service,

they'd throw a fella in the brig
for messing up a paint job.

Now, I'll be back in a while
to see how you're doing.

-This sucks.
-Yeah.

- Check it out, Butt-Head, paint thinner.
- Cool!

No way, dude.

- Bunghole!
- Peckerwood!

Don't bogart it, dude.

Paint his butt.

That looks cool.

Hey Butt-Head, check it out.

Check this out.

That looks cool.

- Breaking the law! Breaking the law!

Let's burn something.

- Breaking the law! Breaking the law!
- Breaking the law! Breaking the law!

Say, I forgot to tell you boys,

there's some paint thinner over by the...

What the...

Lets take this thing over
to Stewart's house and mow stuff.

- Yes! Yes! Yes!
- Cool!

It's about time they
played something cool.

Yeah.

Whoa! Cool lawnmower.

Yeah.

- Yes!
- This guy is cool.

- Hey Beavis, is that guy from Rastafaria?
- Yeah.

Cool!

- Whoa, skulls are cool.
- Yeah.

Eyeballs are cool.

Let's try taking our eyeballs out.

That would be cool.

- I'll go get the pliers.
- Yes! Yes!

- Let's go mow Stewart's living room.
- Yeah.

That was cool.

One of them calls himself "Butthole".

The other one's name is Joe, I think.

And what did these boys look like?

I believe they were oriental.

Hey Beavis.

We're pretty cool, huh?

Yeah.

She's pinching a loaf.

That's disgusting.

She's married to that short old guy.

Yeah, that dude from Africa
that used to be in the Beatles.

She said "deep".

Deep.

This chick is deep.

What I am?

- Didn't Popeye say that?
- Yeah.

They ripped this off from Popeye.