02x19 - Bedpans & Broomsticks

[bunniefuu]

BEDPANS &
BROOMSTICKS

Pity with me the blight of the warm
water mammal known as the sperm whale.

Man's continued desecration of the sea
has left this species' future bleak,

virtually hopeless.

- He said "sperm".
- Yeah.

The only hope
for these lovable gentle giants,

is that perhaps the young people of today
will grow up more caring,

more understanding,

more sensitive to the very special
needs of the creatures of the Earth.

Did you fart?

What's this?

This is that movie.

- Is this "Lethal w*apon"?
- Yeah.

Yeah, play it.

- Play it dumbass!
- Yeah.

Hit him!

Kick him! Kick him! Kick him!

Whoa.

- Maybe you shouldn't have played it.
- Yeah.

Hey that's that dude
from "Saturday Night Live".

Yeah.
"Blues Brother".

- Don't do that spastic thing.
- Yeah.

Hey Beavis,

"What Izzy?"

- Yeah.
- "Who Izzy?"

Izzy quit g*ns N' Roses
'cause Axl's a wuss.

Yeah. He kicked Axl's ass!

He kicked him! Kicked him!

And he hit him!

Settle down, Beavis!

- You're gonna hose your shorts.
- Oh yeah.

- Whoa, look at that car.
- Yeah. It's all, like, long.

Mass transit is cool.

Yeah.
I like ass transit too.

- Community service is cool.
- Yeah.

Doesn't this car belong to
that big fat dude?

Yeah.
Let's steal it.

That would be cool.

It don't get any better
than this, dude.

Hey, come on!

Who do I got to boff around here
to get a pizza?

You know the drill, Billy Bob,
it's just like I told

you after your first coronary
and your second.

And your sixth.

You've got to eat right,
you gotta exercise and you gotta...

Eat me.
Please, eat me Billy Bob.

I'm a big moisty delicious slab of
Canadian bacon,

with butter and maple syrup on top
and powdered sugar too.

And listen to me Billy, you...

Billy Bob?
You've got to count calories.

You got to avoid saturated fats
and you've also got to avoid stress.

I'm hot.
I'm tasty.

I bet you just can't wait

until my juices are dribbling
down your chin, can you Billy Bob?

And most important of all,
keep that temper of yours under control!

- Donut!
- Donut!

They die!

Punch it, Beavis.

Now, this might be just
a tiniest bit uncomfortable, Mr Gillerman,

but if you'll just relax...

Try the morphine.
It's excellent today.

That was cool.

Whoa, cool!

This is cool!

Rain.

Yeah.

Yelling is cool.

Yeah! Yeah!

- He is taking a shower 'cause he stinks.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Drums are cool.

Yes!

What?

What?

Is this about, like, the earth?

No, it's about the firemen.

Fire is cool.

Whoa, cool!

The fatter they are,
the fatter they fall.

I think he's dead.

He got a wallet?

Ooh, he's breathing.

Better zap him.

Don't skip on the gravy.

Whoa, we're heroes Beavis.

We saved a life.

And we got eleven bucks
out of his shorts.

Yeah.

Have a nice day, Beavis.

Shut up!

She looks like that
Peter Frampton chick.

Yeah. These chicks aren't
as cool as the Cycle Sluts.

- Yeah.
- And L7.

Yeah.
They kick ass.

Hey Butt-Head,
are you sure these are chicks?

They'd better be.

- They're giving me a woodrow.
- Yeah. Me too.

Glam rock just isn't
what it used to be, Beavis.

He... He said... He said p...

- He said....
- He...

He said "penis".

He said "penis".

He... He said...He... He said...

He... He said...