03x02 - Carwash

[bunniefuu]

CARWASH

Of course we cannot accept that.

Everyone knows the country's
full name is Outer Mongolia.

You dumbass!

Of course, as always,
I would remind you

to phrase your responses
in form of a question.

What are you? A dumbass?

I'll take "Cars" for 200.

Consumer advocate Ralph Nader
called this sporty GM model

introduced in 1959
"Unsafe at any speed".

What is a "Corvair"?

Correct.
Tabitha, you can control the board.

You dumbass!

I'll take "Health" for 400, Alex.

Whether you are healthy or sick

doctors agree you need a complete
one of these once a year.

What's a shower?

Dude, if you have to ask
you'll never know.

I think "Love connection" is on channel 5.

Okay, Tabitha, how much are you willing
to wager on your knowledge of opera.

I bet 10.000 dollars, Alex.

Cool! The battery's leaking acid.

That's not cool, dude.

A new battery will cost
two bucks at least.

I don't know where we
gonna get that kind of cash.

- Cool!
- Yeah, this is pretty cool.

Hey Butt-Head, check it out.

You screwing it up, assmunch!
That's not how it goes.

I didn't screw it up. You just don't
know how to groove, white boy.

- Beavis, don't make me smack you again.
- Oh yeah.

Whoa!

- Their faces are like, gold.
- Yeah.

Like that movie "Goldfinger".

- Where they cover that chick in gold.
- Yeah.

That was cool.

Then at the end of the movie
"007" takes that tattoo dude.

And put him in his suitcase

- and strings him up on a pool.
- Yeah.

And... and... you said pool.

- These guys rock.
- Yeah.

- And their hair is cool.
- Yeah.

- Did I mention that this was cool?
- Yeah.

This kicks butt!

Hey Beavis,

next car that comes down
the street, you run in front of it,

pretend to get hit. And then act like
you hurt your liver or something.

Yeah, cool!

What for, dude?

I'll say I'm, like, your lawyer,

and I'll tell the driver to, like,
pay us off, so we don't sue.

We could make ten bucks.

We're there dude.

Whoa, check it out.

These are some cool wheels.

I bet if we, like, had this kind of car,
we could, you know...

...drive girls around in it.

Cool!

What for, dude?

I don't know.

You know, I bet whoever owns
this car is loaded, dude.

Yeah.

Loaded with money!

Like the car?
It's my pride and joy.

- A 1959 Corvair.
- Whoa!

Yes sir! I've sunk my entire
nest egg into that car.

Had to pull my kids out of school
to pay for the upkeep, but it was worth it.

Cool!

I got an idea.
Maybe you kids like to wash it for me, huh?

- I'll pay you 5 dollars.
- We're there dude.

Yeah.

Don't forget the detailing boys.

I'm going out for a jog.
Be back in an hour.

Whoa, maybe we should...

...dry it off now.

No way.

I mean dry it off
by driving it.

The keys are in the car, dude.

Cool!

Driving sucks!

Cool, dude! We're
burning up the road.

Let's find the deer crossing.

We're there dude.

Yellow light Butt-Head,
step on the gas.

Red light, dude, hit the break.

Whoa!

Did you cut the cheese?

Asswipe.

Cool!

I'll do the talking dude.

What a dork.

What the hell...

Hey, pretend like...
...and touch your liver.

Yeah.

My liver! My liver!

- My liver!
- Move it down, dude.

Oh... yeah.

My liver!
My liver!

My liver!

No!

Check this out!

What a wuss!

- Is that Bridget Fonda?
- Yeah.

"Fonda ain't got a motor
in the back of her Honda!"

"My anaconda don't want none
unless it's got buns, hun!"

"I'm a cowboy".

Yeah, "Riding his steel horse,
across the great wuss plains!"

"Baby, I want you!".

"Like the roses want the rain".

"Like the roses want the rain"?

- That's stupid!
- Yeah, yeah.

Hey Butt-Head,

remember when these guys were cool?

No.

You probably like these guys!

- Wuss!
- Shut up, Butt-Head! I hate these guys!

I was thinking of, like,
somebody else...

That's right! Just call the
psychic friends network.

For answers to all your questions
about money, romance or your career.

And if you call right know,

we'll include the 7th porcelain figurine
Goldie Locks at no extra charge.

And one thing to remember

when braising turnips is
not to let them over cook.

I hate to think of such a delicious
vegetable been spoiled by...

- Cool, dude
- ...over cooking.

This beats driving.

Yeah.

Ooh, baby!

Do that thing you do!

- This chick is hot!
- Yeah.

I'd like her music a lot better,
though, if she, like,

- didn't wear as much clothes.
- Yeah.

If she was, like, completely naked,
I might go out and buy the album.

Yeah.

She's got one of those ribbons
that all the rock stars wear,

- when they get an award.
- Yeah.

What are those things?

They're, like, these ribbons that they
give you when you get one of those awards,

- for, like, being rich or something.
- Yeah.

Being rich is cool!

- If you're, like, rich...
- Yeah.

you can buy, like, fast cars and,
like, houses and,

like... ribbons.

Yeah.