03x23 - The Trial

[bunniefuu]

THE TRIAL

Well, judge Wapner just
didn't buy the plaintiff's story.

What did you think of
the judge's decision?

I thought it was fair.
I thought it was a very fair decision.

- And what did you think?
- Bite me!

Well, that does it for the case
of the rear-ended motorist.

And that will also conclude
this session of the

"Pupils Court" as we
are simply out of time.

This is Doug Lewelyn, reminding you: the
next time someone rear ends you

don't just turn the other cheek! You
take him the court, the Pupils Court.

Butt-Brain and Beatrice.

Your case is next.
Whoever you are.

Beatrice!

- That's us, dude.
- Yeah. Wait a minute!

- No way, my name is not...
- Shut up, Beatrice!

- This rocks!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I wish I could
rock like this.

They rock!

They rock.
They rock.

If I ever get my own car...

I think I'm gonna
get a truck.

Yeah, a truck with a
big engine that goes...

And one that's, like, razed
up thirty feet off the ground.

Then I'd, like, drive around
town crushing stuff.

Yeah, you could get one with
one of those musical horns

and like, when you
beep the horn, it goes...

That would be really cool.

Then like, all the chicks would
want to go out with us.

If they didn't, we'd just, like,
run over their cars.

He's wearing leather pants so
you can see his wiener.

You two are charged with trespass
and vandalism. How do you plead?

What?

Guilty or not guilty?

Did you throw eggs

at his windows?

- You mean, like, did we do it?
-Yes!

Hey Butt-Head...

- That was, uh, other kids or something.
- Are you certain?

You don't want me to appoint an
attorney? A lawyer to take your case?

I can handle it, dude.
I've, like, seen "The Pupils Court".

You'll need someone
who knows the laws

who is familiar with
the penal system and...

She said "penal".

Just tell us what you saw in
your own words, Mr. Anderson.

Well, I came back to my house

and I saw them two delinquents
throwing eggs at my windows.

Let the record show that the
delinquents the witness just pointed to

are non other than the two defendants in
this case. I have no further questions.

Your witness.
I mean, your witness.

Shut up, Beatrice!

Hey, why did he say
Beatrice, ain't that a boy?

Well, they all look the same to me.
You know,

back when I was in
the service there was

a fella by the name of Bill Hermstead.
Heh, he was a hell of a guy.

- Use the force, Butt-Head.
- What?

- Use the force.
- I said, all you kids look the same.

I don't see how your parents can keep track
of you. You know, back when I was a kid

boys had their hair real short.
Now, of course that was a long time ago.

- That was back before microwave ovens...
- So then, for all you know it could have been...

him, who threw rotten
eggs at your window.

Well, all you kids do look a lot alike.

If that's your opinion
sir, then your testimony

as an eye witness
is hardly credible.

It is incompetent,
irrelevant and immaterial.

Or something.

Hey now, hold on.
Wait a minute!

- Hey now, hold on a minute!
- I rest on your face!

I mean, I rest my case.

- Case just...
- Just a minute, your Honor.

A moment ago you said
the eggs were rotten.

That's not mentioned
anywhere here in the police

report, and didn't come
up in this court room.

Now, how could you have
possibly known that,

unless you and your
little cohort Beatrice

were yourselves guilty of the crime?

That George Michael
with his lip pierced?

No way, Butt-Head. He's too much
of a wuss to get his lip pierced.

I might get my butt pierced.

I have my butt pierced.

No you didn't.

Liar.

Lying is cool.

Liar. Liar. Liar.

Is this one of those videos
that looks like a commercial?

Or maybe it's like, a commercial
that looks like a video?

Cool!

A toilet.

They're starting to put
more toilets in videos.

That’s cool.

Whoa, he's popping a zit.

As you begin your deliberation,
remember that, under our system of law

defendants must be found
innocent unless the state

proofs them guilty beyond
a reasonable doubt.

Now go convict these two hooligans!

We'll recess now, I'll bring you all back
here as soon as the jury reaches a verdi--

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
have you reached the verdict?

- Guilty!
- Good work!

I sentence each of you to 500
hours of community service

teaching other childen
who, unlike you,

might still have a chance of leading
useful, productive lifes.

Repeat after me, or something.

She's pitching a loaf.

That's disgusting.

She's married to
that short old guy.

That dude from Africa that
used to be in the Beatles?

She said "deep".

Deep.

This chick is deep.

What I am.

Didn't Popeye say that?

They ripped this off from Popeye.