06x08 - Ritz

[bunniefuu]

[Churchill] Yesterday morning,

at 2.41 a.m.

at Gen. Eisenhower's headquarters,

Gen. Jodl, the representative
of the German High Command,

signed the act of unconditional surrender

of all German land, sea,
and air forces in Europe.

Hostilities will end officially
at one minute after midnight tonight,

Tuesday the 8th of May.

[crowd cheering outside]

[uplifting music swells]

[Churchill] We may allow ourselves
a brief period of rejoicing.

Today is Victory in Europe Day.

Long live the cause of freedom!

God save the King.

[Margaret] Ready?

Margaret, I'm not sure
this is a good idea.

Come on, the w*r is over.
We have to celebrate.

What if something goes wrong?

We'll have Porchey
and Peter Townsend with us.

What could possibly go wrong?

[excited squeal]
We're escaping from the Palace!

[sighs]

Quick! Out the servants' door
before anyone sees us!

- We can't just break out like this.
- Oh, shush! Hurry up.

[crowd cheering]
- [upbeat jazz tune playing]

Come on, girls.

[laughing] Oh, hold your noses!

Why?

It stinks of alcohol!

And sweat!

It smells of life!

[car horn honking]

[joyful cheering]

[car horns honking]

Now, Green Park or Trafalgar Square?

I say the Ritz.
It's where all the most elegant people go.

- And it's in Jeeves and Wooster.
- Good plan. The Ritz it is.

- Shouldn't we be in sight of the Palace?
- Why? So we can wave to Mummy and Papa?

Honestly, what's the matter with you?
Can't you be irresponsible just once?

[cheering fades]

[Elizabeth] Margaret.

Margaret.

Oh!

Next week

is May the 8th.

Do you know, it's been over 50 years,

and we've never done anything
to commemorate it?

What are you talking about?

As sovereign,

I attend VE Day celebrations every year.

No, I mean our VE Day.

It was quite a night.

Do you remember?

- Of course I remember.
- We almost lost you.

And then we very much found you.

The real you.

The you that you gave up
in order to be the other you.

Yes, all right.

Don't you miss her? She was so much fun!

♪ Oh, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ Oh, it ain't my fault ♪

And as I recall,

we swore to keep
the events of that evening

secret.

Gin.

Well done.

Revenge?

I can't, I'm afraid.

Early start.

I'm expected
in Clapham Junction first thing.

Whatever for?

Something to do with...

the local council's
closed circuit television system.

[Margaret sighs]

- Do you not have anything tomorrow?
- [Margaret] No.

But

Mustique soon.

At the weekend.

Good.

Why?

I always think
that's where you're happiest.

- Come on, dogs. Come on.
- [dogs whimper]

["Me Ting Is Mine" playing]

[Margaret] Green with lust
And sick with shyness

Let me lick your lacquered toes

Gosh! Oh gosh, Your Royal Highness!

Put your finger...

[chuckling]

...up my nose

[all laughing]

John Betjeman was so mad for me

that his friend Maurice Bowra wrote
this filthy poem about it.

- Pin your teeth upon my dress
- [thunder rumbling]

Plant my head with watercress

Only you can make me happy

Wrap me in a woolen nappy

[all laughing raucously]

- [gasps sharply]
- [soundscape muffles]

[moaning, sighs]

[exhales]

- [Anne] Ma'am?
- [inhales sharply]

In... [hesitates]

In a plush and...

- [chuckles]
- [sound normalizes]

...plated pram

Wheel me round St. James', ma'am

Let your...

[Anne] Ma'am?

Let your... [grunts]

[grunting softly]

- Ma'am?
- [man] Is she all right?

Sleek and soft galoshes

[glass shatters]

Slide and slither on my skin

[chattering]

Let go! [straining, groans]

[upbeat jazz tune fades out]

[theme music playing]

[clock ticking]

[phone ringing]

[woman] Princess Margaret, Your Majesty.

[Margaret] Hello?

Margaret. What on earth happened?

[Margaret] I'm afraid
I had a teeny, tiny stroke.

All a bit of a shock.

One minute, I'm in full flow
at the Lawrences',

and the next minute,
I'm in an air ambulance,

unable to... feel my arms and legs.

Where are you now?

In hospital.

In Barbados.

Right.

- [murmurs]
- You poor thing.

The doctors

assure me I'm... going to be fine.

What? I can't hear you properly.

That's because my mouth is still numb.

I could bite off my own tongue,
and I wouldn't feel a thing.

Are we bringing you home?

Yes, tomorrow, apparently.
For... further tests.

And edible food.

With any luck.

I'm smiling

as I say that.

Not that you'd notice.

[chuckles dryly]

Well, goodbye, Lilibet.

See you tomorrow.

Oh.

[soft instrumental music builds slowly]

[airplane engines roaring]

[doctor] I'm happy to say
the stroke was relatively mild, ma'am,

and we ought to be able
to treat the condition effectively

with just an aspirin a day
to, uh, thin the blood,

along with statins
to reduce your cholesterol

and atenolol to lower your blood pressure.

Righto.

But, uh... these alone
will not be enough, ma'am,

to prevent the risk
of a second, more serious stroke.

You will need to look more closely
at your lifestyle.

And... make one or two modifications.

[Margaret] So,

no more Chesterfields.

No more whiskey.

No more sweet treats.

Just lemon barley water...

[Elizabeth] Mmm.

...nicotine gum,

and lots of

"rehabilitation exercises."

[Margaret grunts]

["Why Don't You Do Right"
by Julie London playing]

No, I'm not an invalid.

A flea and a fly in a flue

were imprisoned, so what could they do?

[groans in frustration]

So they flew...

[sighs]

♪ If you had prepared 20 years ago ♪

♪ You wouldn't be wandering now
From door to door ♪

- ♪ Why don't you do right? ♪
- I'm still alive!

- [woman] Ma'am.
- ♪ Like some other men do? ♪

[sighs]

♪ Get out of here ♪

♪ And get me some money too ♪

[gasps]

- [gasping]
- ♪ Why don't you do right? ♪

- ♪ Like some other men do? ♪
- Oh yes.

Mm.

Mmm... Mm-hmm. Mm.
♪ Like some other men do? ♪

♪ Like some other men do? ♪

[song fades out]

Oh!

Oh.

Bad time? Good time?

Mm.

Honestly,

I take a nap, and everyone thinks
I've kicked the bucket.

And now you arrive,
unannounced, with anxious looks.

I just wanted to see how you are.

I'm well.

Thank you.

Of course you are.

But I do hope you're taking it easy.

And canceling official engagements?

[hesitates] Some of them, yes.

No need to cancel all of them.

You know how I hate an empty diary.

See?

There's that look again!

I'm fine, Lilibet.

Bouncing back, on the way up.

Not on the way out.

[spraying]

[tires squeal]

- [whistling]
- [children chattering]

[birds singing]

- Ma'am.
- Thank you.

Hmm.

- Anne.
- Ah.

- Your Royal Highness.
- Mm.

Thank you.

[Anne] I thought perhaps

a gentle stroll, nice siesta,

and then dinner on the terrace,
just the two of us.

Stroll, yes.

But then I'd like a picnic on the beach
with the whole g*ng,

cocktails at the Cotton Club, and dinner,

followed by general bacchanalia
at Basil's.

I'm only here for two weeks.

I intend to make the most of it.

All right.

You're the boss.

I most

certainly am.

[opera music playing on radio]

[breathing shakily]

[muttering softly]

[breathing shakily]

[gasping softly]

[gasping sharply]

[opera music continues playing]

[inhales sharply, groans]

[groaning]

[panting]

[knocking at door]

Ma'am?

Ma'am?

Ma'am? Can you hear me?

Ma'am? Help!

[opera music fades out]

[man 1] Thank you.

[man 2] That's okay.

Yes.

[men grunting lightly]

The doctor saw instantly
that I'd had another stroke,

but that, as it turns out,
was the least of my problems.

Because even after he'd... stabilized me
with a cocktail of dr*gs,

the soles of my feet were so burnt,

it meant I couldn't stand,
never mind walk.

Then why didn't you come home sooner?

Because all manner
of humiliating preparations

needed to be made.

The car had to be specially modified.

Handrails put all over the place

like a home for geriatrics.

I don't have handrails anywhere.

[Margaret] Now I'm back,

the doctors want to use leeches on my feet

as an... as an ant...

an ant...

anticoagulant.

Her voice is a little odd.
What is she saying?

I think it was "anticoagulant."

They've given me
these Velcro slippers instead of shoes.

Gone are the days of heels!

Gone are the days of feet,
for that matter.

Why not try some gentle exercise?

You could use the Palace pool.
Exercise can help with moods too.

[Margaret] I'd rather die
than do exercise.

And,

seeing as
I'm going to be dead soon anyway,

I thought I might as well
go out with a bang.

It's my 70th birthday this year,

and I've decided I want to celebrate it
with a nice, big party.

What?

[Margaret] At the Ritz.

Because we love the Ritz.
Don't we, Lilibet?

Do we?

[Margaret] We do.

We have such special memories.

[Margaret chuckles softly]

♪ Oh, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ Oh, it ain't my fault ♪

Have I missed something?

[Margaret humming]

- [horns honking]
- [crowd cheering]

[overlapping chattering and shouting]

Look at how I'm dressed.
Do you think they will let us in?

Of course. Just tell them who you are.

That is the one thing
I am not going to do.

Then you're going to have to
bat your eyelids a little.

[Elizabeth huffs]

Go on.

- [horns honking]
- [men laughing]

[doorman] Evening, miss. Through you go!

- Ah...
- Oh. Uh... [chuckles]

- I...
- Only pulling your leg, sir.

[both chuckle]

- Thank you.
- In you go.

[lively jazz tune playing]

Will you look at that.

Well, what do we do now?

[Elizabeth] Dive in, I suppose.

[overlapping chatter]

- Miss.
- Yes, please.

Cheers, big ears.

- Cheers!
- [men laughing]

[playing lively tune]

[both chuckling]

I'm going to put this in the cloakroom.

- Oh, let me escort you.
- No need.

[attendant] Hello, miss.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Pass you that.
- Thanks.

[softly] Whoa.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Sorry. Have a nice evening.

Wait. Don't go up there.

[chuckles] Come with us.

Way more fun.

[chuckles]

[upbeat jazz tune playing]

I wouldn't go down there if I were you.

Americans.

Ever heard of the jitterbug?

- I know about the doodlebug.
- It's a dance.

Banned here. And with good reason.

- It comes from Harlem.
- From where?

A ghetto. In New York.

Wait.

Don't I recognize you?

No, I don't think so.

[Philip] Right.

I'll be off.

- Will you make my apologies?
- I will.

[Philip] And wish the birthday girl
a very happy birthday.

I will.

You taking anyone?

Anne. And Porchey will be there.

Ah. Good old Porchey.

Yes, good old Porchey.

Always good company, never lets one down.

Is everything all right?

Sorry.

I just find myself
worrying about Margaret all the time.

Oh, well, hasn't it always been like that?

- Yes.
- Hm.

I suppose it has.

[somber music playing]

[Margaret] Mm.

[exhales deeply]

- [Margaret inhales sharply]
- Sorry, ma'am.

[Margaret] Mm.

Go on.

[moans softly]

[exhales]

[exhales forcefully, inhales sharply]

- [cameras clicking]
- [indistinct chattering]

- [cameras clicking]
- [overlapping chatter]

[man 1] Margaret!

- [man 2] Do you need a hand, ma'am?
- I'm all right.

- [man 1] How are you feeling now, ma'am?
- Have you recovered, Your Royal Highness?

[man 1] Are you still
smoking cigarettes, ma'am?

[woman] How are you feeling?

[overlapping conversations]

- I just wish you were there.
- Yeah, I know.

[glass clinking]

[chair scraping]

Thank you all for coming this evening.

As you know,

I've spent much of my time recently
lying in hospital beds

or sitting in wheelchairs,

staring out of windows at that

little patch of blue
that prisoners call the sky.

[light laughter]

But

one thing that...

throughout it all sustained me.

- Memories.
- [guests] Mm.

As it turns out, I have

rather fond memories
of quite a few evenings at the Ritz...

- [crowd laughing]
- [Margaret chuckles]

...that I'd like to share with you.

One, in particular,

comes to mind,

when a very different side

of the young Princess Elizabeth
was revealed.

[guests chattering]

And I'm sure
everyone would love to hear about that.

Yes, they would, Lilibet,

which is why I'm telling it.

It would miss the point entirely
of why we're all here tonight.

To celebrate you.

- Hear, hear.
- [guests clapping]

[chuckles dryly]

As a child, I felt sorry for children
who didn't have a brother or a sister.

From the day she was born,

Margaret Rose has been
my constant companion.

Rarely able to see other children,
we relied on one another, and,

like Juno's swans, we were inseparable.

- [guests exclaim]
- [Margaret chuckles]

We... we shared a room,

wore the same clothes,
enjoyed the same activities.

In particular,

managing our collection
of wooden horses on wheels...

[light laughter]

...that we would groom and water and race.

[Margaret chuckles] True.

And whenever we got into trouble,

Margaret would blame everything
on her imaginary friend, Cousin Halifax.

Oh, yes, I would.

No, there really wasn't anything
Cousin Halifax wouldn't do.

Sounding the air raid bell
to wake the guards.

Hiding the gardener's tools.
He really was very mischievous.

[light chuckling]

It's not always easy,

growing up in a family
where one person has to wear the crown,

being the number two.

[gentle music playing]

But Margaret has been my ally,
day in, day out.

And that is the person
I wanted to tell you about tonight.

Not the dazzling,
you all know that already.

[guests exclaim quietly]

But the dutiful.

Never wavering.

My lifelong companion and support

without whom...

well...

it would be unimaginable.

Dearest Margaret...

many happy returns.

[woman] Happy birthday, Margaret.

- Happy birthday, Margaret.
- Happy birthday.

I don't know
whether to be touched or cross.

[Elizabeth] Why?

I've always wanted to
sing your praises in public.

Well,

it was both uncalled for

and rather thrilling.

Everyone is being so nice.

One should be seriously ill more often.

[coughing harshly]

Listen to that cough.
You haven't started smoking again?

[coughs] No, of course not.

That was

Cousin Halifax.

[both chuckling]

Good night, Lilibet.

Good night.

[receiver clatters]

- Mm.
- [high-pitched ringing]

[groaning deeply]

Oh...

[sighs, sniffs]

[exhales sharply]

Oh... [grunts]

[exhales]

- [high-pitched ringing intensifies]
- [breathing shakily]

[moans softly]

Oh... [inhales sharply]

Mm...

Mm... [gasps softly]

[shouts]

[high-pitched ringing continues]

[high-pitched ringing fades out]

Hello, you.

[weakly] Mm.

And... goodbye, you.

Stop it.

We'll have you up
and out of here in no time.

No.

I'm afraid it's... serious this time.

I can feel it.

Or can't feel it, more like.

I can't feel anything.

Or see anything.

My body's...

deserting me, one limb at a time.

The doctors tell me you aren't eating.

I'm

really not hungry.

Well, I brought you these.

Your favorite.

- Jam tarts.
- [exclaims softly]

[chuckling] Now you're talking.

And...

a very pretty

walking stick.

For when you're back on your feet.

[distant birds singing]

[classical piano tune playing]

[newswoman] We're on the air
with a special program

to bring you an update
on the appalling and incredible events

that were played out today
in the United States.

A day when t*rrorists struck
at the very heart

of the world's most powerful country.

A day of unimaginable chaos and confusion.

A day when untold thousands
were feared dead.

The t*rrorists' weapons,
four h*jacked passenger planes.

Two crashed with awful effect
into the World Trade Center in New York,

the third into the Pentagon in Washington,

the fourth in Pennsylvania.

America spends
billions of dollars every year

gathering and assessing
intelligence reports

to prevent att*cks like these...

[somber music playing]

[Anne] "A San Francisco husband

slept through his wife's call
from the World Trade Center."

"She left her last message to him
on the answering machine."

"There was really only one thing left
for her to say. 'I love you.'"

"She said it over and over
before the line went dead."

"And then

oblivion."

So sad.

And such terrible news
about Lord Carnarvon too.

Porchey?

Why? What's happened?

He collapsed
while he was watching the news.

Heart att*ck.

Poor Jean.

Poor you too.

He was such a special friend.

[Elizabeth sniffs, exhales]

He would bring horse news, which is
the only news I ever really want to hear.

Used to hold up his mobile phone
when horse bidding was underway

so I could hear the action.

He was devoted to you.

And now all those closest to you
are abandoning you one by one.

What are you talking about?

Porchey.

Yes.

Mummy. Soon.

Yes.

- Me.
- Don't you dare.

It's the truth.

I'm not thrilled about it.
In fact, I'm furious about it.

I'm not ready
to leave this particular party.

But we need to discuss it.

I've written a very detailed plan
for my funeral.

You know what a planner I am.

And I want your reassurance
that it will go exactly as I intend.

Mm.

I want to wear my flower dress,

not some horrid black thing.

And please don't let them
put red lipstick on me.

For the chapel, I want roses and tulips,

and I want the finale to Swan Lake

playing on the organ as people arrive.

And one more thing.

Very important.

Yes, of course.

Promise me

that I will actually be dead
when they close the coffin.

Oh, for... [chuckles softly]

Oh, Mar...

- [both chuckling]
- [somber music plays]

"'Bertie, old egg, ' said young Eustace."

"'Fancy meeting you here.'"

"'The one man in London who can support us
in the style we're accustomed to.'"

"'Oh, by the way,
you've never met old Dog-Face, have you?'"

"'Dog-Face, this is my cousin Bertie.'"

Hm.

Is this silly?

No, it's wonderful. Go on.

"'What are you doing in London?' I asked."

"'Oh, buzzing round.
We're just up for the day."

"'Flying visit, strictly unofficial.'"

"'We oil back on the 3:10.'"

"'We oil back on the 3:10.'"

"'And now, touching on that lunch
you very decently volunteered to stand us,

which shall it be? Ritz, Savoy, Carlton?'"

Ritz, please.

Because we love the Ritz, don't we?

Honestly! You and The Ritz.

No!

You and The Ritz.

If people don't know about that night,
they'll never fully understand.

How irresponsible I was?

The scale of the sacrifice you've made.

How much of your true self
you've locked up.

Hidden away.

[chuckling softly] You caused...
havoc that night.

It was the end of the w*r.

[somber music swells]

Now...

you rest.

[kisses]

[door opens]

[somber music fades out]

[pulsing drum rhythm builds slowly]

- [crowd chattering]
- [drumbeat pulsing loudly]

[lively dance music playing]

- [whooping]
- [snapping in time]

You came.

Actually, I'm with friends upstairs.
I really should go.

Why?

Down here is the place to be.

[whistling]

And why is that?

Because down here,
there's no rank or background.

Just music.

Well, in that case...

[woman] ♪ Well, no, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ I said, no, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ Hell no, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ You blamer, I blame her
It ain't my fault ♪

Let's go!

♪ Oh, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ Said, no, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ Well, no, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ You blamer, I blame her
It ain't my fault ♪

All right!

♪ No, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ Lord, no, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ I said, no, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ You blamer, I blame her
It ain't my fault ♪

[playing calm jazz tune]

...a string.

And all the chaps had a little bit of...

[indistinct conversations]

You two haven't seen Elizabeth, have you?

Stop worrying about her.
She never does anything irresponsible.

She's been a long time.
I'm going to look for her.

I'll come with you, Porchey.

All right, wait for me.

- [song continues playing]
- [crowd clapping in time]

♪ Oh no, it ain't my fault ♪

Whoo!

♪ Hell no, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ No, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ You blamer, I blame her
It ain't my fault ♪

[crowd cheering]

♪ Oh no, it ain't my fault... ♪

Come on, Porchey.
Let's get her out of here.

No, don't!

Leave her.

Look how happy she is!

[Elizabeth squeals]

♪ You blamer, I blame her
It ain't my fault ♪

♪ Well, no, no, no, it ain't my fault ♪

♪ Well, no, no, no, no
It ain't my fault ♪

♪ You blamer, I blame her
It ain't my fault ♪

♪ You blamer, I blame her
It ain't my fault ♪

[singer vocalizing]

[crowd cheering and clapping]

Thank you.

♪ Fault ♪

[cheering and whistling]

- [somber music plays]
- [slowed cheering continues]

[somber music fades out]

You dark horse.

Who'd have known you could jive.

There must have been


- Don't exaggerate.
- What?

I said don't exaggerate.

It's hard to talk.

When you're sloshed?

When you're chewing gum.

[chuckling] When did you get that?

Well, I'm not sure.

I think it might have come after a kiss.

- Lilibet!
- Well, I didn't intend to kiss him.

It's just what everyone else was doing,
and I didn't want to be rude.

I think Porchey might have seen
and got a bit cross.

[Margaret] Oh dear.

- [birds singing]
- [footsteps approaching]

[Elizabeth] Look.

The blossom's out.

[Margaret] Yes.

The sun is rising.

What will this future hold

for us all?

Aren't you coming?

We can join Mummy and Papa for breakfast.

I'm afraid not.

But I will always... be by your side.

No matter what.

[melancholy tune playing]

[Margaret singing] ♪ Couldn't sleep ♪

♪ And wouldn't sleep ♪

♪ When love came and told me
I shouldn't sleep ♪

♪ Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered ♪

♪ Am I ♪

♪ Lost my heart, but what of it? ♪

♪ He is cold, I agree ♪

[King George VI] ♪ I agree ♪

[both] ♪ He can laugh ♪

- [Margaret] ♪ But I love it ♪
- [King George VI] ♪ I love you ♪

- [Margaret] ♪ Although the laugh's on me ♪
- [King George VI] ♪ On me ♪

[Margaret] ♪ I'll sing to him ♪

♪ Each spring to him ♪

[both] ♪ And long for the day
When I'll cling to him ♪

♪ Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered ♪

♪ Am I ♪

[people laughing and chattering]

[instrumental version continues]