04x04 - Rabies Scare

[bunniefuu]

RABIES SCARE

Nachos rule!
They rule!

Whoa, check it out.

Stupid dog.

I heard that if you, like, don't act
scared they won't attack you.

How do you do that?

Do you hear me?

"Do you hearrr me?"

Do you hear me?

- Do you care?
- Do I care?

No.

I don't care. I like, just, don't care.

About anything.

Penguins!

I know it seems funny,
but I just can't stand the pain.

That doesn't sound funny.

That chick's pretty hot.

They must have just did it, and
now she's like fixing herself up.

After I do it I like to,
you know, comb my hair

and like, flush the toilet and stuff.

You monkey-spank.

I'm easy like sunday morning.

What's so great about
sunday morning?

Sunday morning sucks.

Afternoon is no picnic either.

You know, what really
sucks is like, evening.

It's like the whole day sucks.

Every single day sucks.

Hey Butt-Head, I was just
thinking about those pinguins.

Oh yeah? So?

I don't know, I was just thinking about it.

Do you want to
touch his bone?

Yeah, touch it.

- Cool!
- Can you foam at the mouth?

Check this out.

Decent!
Is it contagious?

No, I disinsected it.

Sports drinks have nutrients.

Listen up, morons.

Some short-sighted
federal appeals judge

says I can't use this on you,
but remember this.

In this classroom, I am the
judge, the jury and the jailer.

Does it hurt when I do this?

That was cool!

Do you gentlemen have a problem?

Do you wish to
enlighten the class

as to what is festering on
your leg, Beavis?

Dog bite.

Well, I thought you looked
rabid, boy. Now listen close.

Get the hell out
of my classroom

before you infect anyone else with
your sickness! You stink of death!

Butt-Head, this man requires
immediate medical attention!

Hospital, Butt-Head! On the double!

Can I help you?

He's got, like
rabies or something.

I see.

What's your name?

Last name is Munch.

First name is Rodney.

Rod Munch.

Rod Munch.

Now, which one of you
fellas is Rod Munch?

He is.

He's Rod.

So Rod, I understand
you got bit by a dog.

Well, don't be scared.

'Cause look, a dog bit my
thumb off once too, Rod.

- You're stupid!
- Yeah.

Now Rod, I don't suppose
you brought the animal with you.

He wasn't, like,
very friendly.

Yeah. He doesn't
like me.

Well, we'll have to find him anyway.

In a suspected case of rabies the
animal has to be destroyed, of course.

And to check for presence of the disease,
we cut off the head and dissect the brain.

Whoa! That's cool!

Actually, yes. It is kind of cool.

Come on, Butt-Head,
let's go find that dog!

Not so fast, Rod. Let's talk
about your symptoms first.

Any dizziness, nausea?
Fever, any convulsions?

Yeah, yeah! No more
than usual though.

So far, nothing checks out.
Maybe you were lucky.

You mean, like,
no decrapitation?

I got it!
I got rabies!

Ok, I'll call the police
about the dog.

- But first, we'd better start treatment.
- Does he have to get a shot?

- No...
- Cool!

You have to get
eighteen of them, Rod.

- In the stomach.
- Cool!

This sucks!

Is this a bakery?

That guy has a disease.

Yeah. He's got wussyitis.

Yeah. First it causes your
hair to turn red,

then your butt falls off.

Hey Beavis.

Have you ever had an operation?

I had my tonsils removed once.

That means you
were neutered, dude!

No way! Really?

Dude, that's what they do when
they remove your testicles!

Cool!

I was thinking of having my
mucous membranes removed.

That way, you like, never get a runny nose.

The mucous membranes are
the part of your brain

that makes you, like, remember mucus.

So like, if you have 'em removed,

you'll just forget to blow
your nose all the time.

That would be pretty cool!

Let's go get the pliers and
remove our mucous membranes.

The good news about rabies
is that treating it no longer means

a series of painful injections
into the solar plexus.

New vaccines require only
five simple sh*ts in the arm.

Hey Beavis.

How come that stupid
doctor didn't know that?

Maybe he doesn't
watch TV.

Rod Munch huh?

Whoa, that's cool!

I can do that...

C'mon Butt-Head, you
do it all the time.

C'mon Butt-Head, this isn't cool.

- "It's a pizza?"
- That's not what he said, Butt-Head.

He said "pizza-pizza".

Oh yeah!

These guys are cool
cause they're like, pissed off.

It's like they're cool cause
they're like, pissed off.

Damnit Beavis, how come you always
have to repeat what I say?

- Why do you do that?
- Yeah... why do you that?

Beavis...

if you repeat what I say one more
time I'm gonna kick your ass.

- I'm gonna kick your ass.
- See? You did it again!

You did it again, Beavis!

I like bands that scream.

Screaming is cool.

Rock on, Beavis.