04x21 - Manners Suck

[bunniefuu]

MANNERS SUCK

Sit.

Stay.

- Speak!
- This sucks.

- Yeah.
- Good boy.

I bet they put all the stuff
that sucks on in the morning

just to, like, get
us to go to school.

I think it's
working.

Check it out, he's watching TV.

And it's like, we're watching TV,

so it's like, we're watching
two TVs for the price of one.

What two TVs? I don't understand.

Beavis, we're watching TV,

and then there's another TV in the TV.

There's, like, a TV inside the TV?

- Let's break it open and find it!
- Boy, Beavis.

You're stupid.

Well, well… okay.

Look at his mouth.

It's all encrustulated
with grobiels of feces.

See what I mean, Beavis?

- You got, like, some problem or something.
- Yeah well, you're... your mom, you...

your mom… yeah.

Look at the monkey!

You know what they should do?
They should, like,

break that couch.
They should, like, just rip it up.

- Like, break it.
- Yeah.

Yeah, like that!

- Yeah! Rip it! Break it!
- Break it!

- Get in there!
- Kick it! Kick the couch!

- No no, don't stop!
- Don't stop!

- Don't stop, dammit!
- Quitters never win!

May I have your
attention, people?

People?

Could I have your
attention, please?

Come on, guys, do I need
to get Mr. Buzzcut in here?

Thank you.

We have a guest
today, class,

and it appears, he isn't
a moment too soon.

It seems that as adults,

we aren't doing a very good job of teaching
the importance of good manners.

Now, a group of concerned parents has
asked the school to deal with the problem.

So please join me in
giving a warm welcome

to an expert on etiquette, Mr. Manners.

Thank you for that warm welcome.

My, what a nice looking
group of students.

Hey Beavis.

Machine-gunner.

Oh yeah. I get those.

Excuse me, boys, but it's rather rude
to make noises and interrupt me

when it's my
turn to talk.

We were doing this long
before you came in, sir.

Yeah, you
interrupted us.

Butthole.

Well, I'll teach
you some manners, yet.

But for now, I would greatly
appreciate your undivided attention.

Now. class, manners
are an enjoyable way

to create a favorable
impression with others.

I'd like to start off
with a fun activity

in which we'll do a little role playing.
Now, I'll need a couple of volunteers.

Pole playing?

Yeah, I can do that.

Okay, but what's
the magic word?

Abracadabra?

No, come on, what do you say
when you want something?

Buttwipe?

Give me something, buttwipe!

Bunghole.

Bung-hole!

I would like to start with the use of
proper manners in a restaurant setting.

Now, I want you, Master Butt-Head...

...to pretend that you are at a restaurant.
And Master Beavis will be the waiter.

Let's start by having
Master Beavis

welcome you to the
restaurant and take your order.

Don't touch
me, asswipe!

You look
like a dork.

Shut up, fartknocker! I'll kick your ass.

Boys, boys, that's no way to show manners.
Here, let me get you started.

Master Beavis,
say something like,

"Good evening, sir.
My name is Beavis.

Welcome to our restaurant.
May I take your order, please?"

Go ahead,
we're waiting.

Hi, Butt-Head.

Hi, Master Beavis.

I was supposed to
introduce me, bunghole.

Welcome to our restaurant.

You like take
my order?

Yeah, get me some
nachos, buttwipe.

Listen, you little... twerp.

This is my job. This is how I make
money. Don't screw with me.

Now, how 'bout using
some manners?

Manners suck.

Hey Butt-Head,
don't screw with him.

Yeah.

He sure does
like to touch.

- He tried to touch my wiener.
- What?

- You little liar!
- Back off you pervert.

- He's lying!
- Don't you dare lay a finger on my students.

Beavis, did he hit you?

Yes, sir, he did. Thank
you for your concern.

- Why you little dirtball!
- You wanna touch my students? I'll touch you!

I'll get you, you little punks!

No,
thank you, sir.

- Thank you drive through.
- Stop it, stop it!

- You're dead, hippie!
- You're going to jail, jackass!

- You're going down, Woodstock!
- Take that, you fascist!

You're hurting me, security!

Let go!

- Did you see the faucet, Butt-Head?
- Yeah.

And you know, wherever there's a faucet,
there's probably a toilet close by.

And wherever there's
toilets, there's like, butts,

and wieners, and turds,
and wee-wee! Yeah!

A little something for everyone.

This dude must use the same shampoo as me.

You don't use shampoo, Butt-Head.

Oh yeah.

Hey Butt-Head.

- Is this that band, Schlong?
- No, dumbass! It's Prong!

Well... I wasn't that far off. Butthole.

Rock! Rock!

"Snap your fingers, snap your neck?"

That's like, some kind
of weird double joint.

- That's not that weird. I can do that.
- No way!

Yeah I can, check it out.

- That was cool!
- Butt-Head, help, I get it wrong!

Let's see.

Okay, thanks.

- That's okay.
- You almost, like, broke something.

You should, like, sue
these guys for, like...

- something.
- Yeah.

I bet that if I, like, sued 'em,
I could get backstage passes.

Please come out. Please!

Yeah, me too.

Hey Butt-Head, it won't come out.

Maybe you should try
using manners.

Oh yeah.

Please, come out of my butt.

Please!

Thank you drive through!

Manners!

Hey Beavis...

Would you please wipe my butt?

What's... What's this?

- Hey look, Beavis! It's your mom.
- Where? Where?

Hanging out in bars again.

That's not my mom, Butt-Head.
That's grandma.

What is this?

- Is this cable access?
- Yeah, I think it is.

Cable access sucks!

- They should call it cable suckcess.
- Yeah, cable suckcess.

- Look at this dork.
- Yeah. What a dumbass.

Ooh, sexy.

- This band sucks.
- Yeah, really.

Hey Butt-Head, didn't these guys
play at that wedding we went to?

Yeah.

Remember when you kept
asking them to play Pantera?

Yeah. That was cool.

Remember when you waited
in line to kiss the bride?

And then you tried to cop a feel?

Oh yeah.

Her dad kicked your ass.

Oh yeah.