04x32 - Liar! Liar!

[bunniefuu]

LIAR! LIAR!

Fifty, sixty, sixty-five...

- Twelve.
- Shut up!

- Seventy-five...
- Twenty-five cents.

- Sixty-nine.
- Number two.

Eighty-three... eighty-four... Shut up!

- Eighty-five... Eighty-six...
- Zero.

O! One! One! One!

It's still short, fellas.

- Better count it again, sir.
- Yeah, you didn't get all the pennies.

No way, guys,
we're still missing money.

I didn't do it!
I didn't do it!

It was, like, some foreigner.

Yeah.

- This chick doesn't sing very good.
- Yeah.

She should, like,
just talk or something.

Okay, that's better.

Is she, like,
telling a joke?

Oh yeah, yeah, I think it is.

Why don't you shut up,
so we can hear it!

Beavis...

…but the guy, he's dogging my every move.

That'd piss me off too.

Hey Miss, he says, don't miss this!

Now that's
a good joke.

It's like, it's like, she is...
talking about all this stuff

and then that guy
grabs his wiener!

I'm gonna have to tell
that one to my Uncle Mike.

Yeah, he'd get it.

Whoa! That chick is all over him!
Check it out.

Yeah... it's like, he was just minding his
own business, trying to grab his wiener…

I heard that, yeah.

And then she just came up
and got in his face.

It's like, you know, he was just trying
to grab his wiener, you know...

She came and just
jumped on him!

That never happens to me.

I grab my wiener
all the time.

Besides... I think I'm gonna
grab my wiener right now.

Dammit Beavis.

- Do that outside.
- Oh yeah.

BIG EYE SYSTEM'S
POLYGRAPH TESTING

I didn't do it.

It was a foreigner.

- What are you doing, Beavis?
- I'm practicing.

Hey Butt-Head, what
are they gonna do to us?

I think they're gonna, like, make us
take one of those poly-grip tests?

Oh, yeah, that stuff's cool.
I found some of that stuff

at Anderson's house...
and it's like...

I put it on my teeth and I was
walking around going...

No, dumbass.

Not that stuff.
It's like, this lie detector test.

- I didn't do it!
- Shut up, Beavis!

Check this out. There's, like, this trick
to taking these lie detector tests.

Really? Cool.

It's like, all you have
to do is hold your breath.

Not now, assmunch!

I knew that, I was
just, like, practicing.

Beavis, you suck as a liar.

Liar! Liar!
Liar, pants on!

- Head? Butt-Head?
- Yeah?

Mr. O'Brien will see you now.

I didn't do it!

All right, now, I'm gonna
ask you some questions,

failure to be truthful
in your responses

will be interpreted as an acknowledgement
of guilt, do you understand?

Yeah.

I mean, no.

Just tell the truth and you have
nothing to worry about. Let's begin.

Okay, now. Please
tell me your name.

Butt-Head.

Okay, good. Now Butt-Head, could you tell
me how many fingers I'm holding up?

Four?

Well, it's three, actually, but since
you think it's four, you didn't really lie.

So that's good. Now Butt-Head,
tell me, in all of your life

have you ever stolen anything?

I didn't do it, bunghole!

I'lll repeat the question, Butt-Head.
Have you ever stolen anything?

Butt-Head did it!

Beavis, Mr. O'Brien
will see you now.

You're not gonna put those
on my nads, are you?

Julia, I'm not getting a reading.
Could you check those connections?

You can if you want, you know...
put 'em on my nads.

Good. Well, young man...

I'd like to get a base reading, here.
Could you say something?

Yeah.

Just say anything, the first
thing that comes to mind.

I k*lled a bunch
of people once.

- So you think you're gonna live your life alone?
- Yeah.

- In darkness and seclusion...
- Darkness rules!

- the feeling of loneliness never leaves you...
- Sort of.

It haunts you everywhere you go.

- And then you meet me.
- I'd like to meet you. That'd be cool.

He's talking to
a chick, Beavis.

- You wanna know why?
- Yeah, yeah. Why, why?

- Why? Why?
- Because I'm a liar!

Rock!

Lie! Lie!

Lie! Lie! Lie!

I'm a liar too!
Yeah, we should hook up!

Beavis, this guy wouldn't
want hang out with you!

Yeah he would, shut
up, I'm a liar too.

Yeah but you're not
as good as liar as this guy.

- I hide behind a smile.
- That guy's got a a cool smile.

I got a cool smile too.
Check this out.

See? We should hook up.

And I'll tell you things
that you already know.

Ok.

- I really identify with you, so much!
- No.

Isn't that the wrong
letter on his chest?

Isn't it supposed to be like a...
"5" on there, or something?

Yeah. Maybe because, like, he's a liar

- he put the wrong letter on there?
- Yeah, yeah. He's a liar! Liar!

- Lying rules!
- Yeah, yeah.

- I will never tell a lie.
- He's lying. Check it out! He's lying!

- He's lying!
- Lie! Lie!

- Lie! Liar!
- Rock! Rock! Rock!

Kicks ass!

I'll lie again and again...
And I'll keep lying. I promise.

See? He is not a liar.

Authorities are saying tonight that they
believe they have finally found the k*ller

in the infamous "In A Gadda Da Vida"
slaying some twenty-five years ago.

Police say this boy is the
so called "Hippie Ripper"

who in 1969 k*lled sixteen hippies
who were living in a van...

Sixty-nine!

Asked how a teenage boy could've
committed a crime that happened

more than two decades ago,
a police spokesman explained...

"He's very clever!"

Get a haircut, hippie.

Hey Butt-Head, I think
the TV's on slow. Fix it.

Beavis, you can't
put the TV on slow.

Oh, really?

- You're thinking of, like, the VCR or something.
- Oh, oh yeah.

I think this chick just, like,
woke up or something.

Yeah. She probably doesn't
start really rocking

until later,
like in the afternoon or something.

Yeah. She probably rocks it
around 4 and then like,

you know, she has a late lunch,
and then goes to the mall.

She goes shopping for a new nightie,
and then she, like, takes a nap,

and then she gets something that
rocks, like, until 3

or 4 in the morning,
and then she sleeps 'till noon.

Yeah.

Musicians rule!

Check it out,
her guitar's broken.

They should, like,
break more guitars.

Yeah.

They should break that escalator too.
Yeah, that would rule!

Yeah! stomp on it!
Kick it!

Yeah.

I hate those things.

Everytime someone brings
one of those into class

I just, like, stick my hand on top of it
and like, like, flip off the whole class.

Ace Ventura,
pet detective!

Yeah.

She's horny.

Chicks get that look when, like,
I talk to them and stuff.

Then they just, like, leave.