05x30 - Here Comes The Bride's Butt

[bunniefuu]

[chuckling]

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

[church bells ringing]

- Check it out, Beavis, a wedding.

- Whoa. [chuckling]

Um, so what? [chuckling]

- So we got to go, dumbass. - Oh, yeah.

Let's go against the wall over there.

- No, buttmunch.

We got to go to the wedding.

In every wedding there's, like, this bride chick,

and then right after it's over,

everyone gets to make out with her.

[chuckling]

- Really? - Yeah.

Plus I heard that, like, chicks put out

on their wedding night.

It's, like, a law or something.

- We're there, dude. [chuckling]

- This is gonna be cool.

[chuckling]

[Prince's "When R in Love"]

♪ ♪

- What's going on here? [chuckling]

- Uh, hit that button on the remote that says disp.

I think that makes all this stuff go away.

[chuckling]

- Um, it's not working, Butt-Head.

- Uh...

- I think the TV's broken again.

♪ ♪

- Uh, no, Beavis.

Look, they've got those deaf words

on the bottom of the screen. - Oh, yeah.

Maybe we're deaf then. - Beavis, you dumbass.

We can't be deaf. We can hear the music.

- Maybe we're blind. - Beavis, just shut up.

I need to figure out what's wrong with the TV.

[chuckling]

Hey, I think this is Prince. - Whoa, really?

Then maybe this is just, like, a big close-up of his butt.

- Yeah, just a big picture of his butt.

[chuckling]

- Yeah, but if this is a close-up of his butt,

then where's the crack?

- Uh, maybe this is just, like, a close-up of the crack.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's an extreme close-up of the crack of his ass.

[chuckling]

Come on. Change it, Butt-Head.

I've seen enough butt crack for one day.

- Uh, no way, Beavis.

Let's wait and see if something comes out of it.

- No, you--oh. Oh, you mean--oh, yeah.

[chuckling]

- He sure does like to show his butt.

- Yeah.

- Remember when he had those pants

where you could, like, see his butt cheeks through 'em?

- Oh, yeah, yeah. Those pants were cool.

I like those pants if they were on a chick, you know?

- Yeah. [chuckling]

It seems like, though, you know,

since this video was all just a butt crack,

then they really, like, don't need any words.

[chuckling]

[organ music]

- This music sucks. - Yeah.

I wonder when that bride chick is gonna get here.

Whoa.

Come to Butt-Head.

- Yeah, me too. [chuckling]

It's working, Butt-Head. It's working.

She's coming right to us. - Settle down, Beavis.

I heard she's all dressed in white 'cause, like,

she's never done it before.

- Oh, yeah. [chuckling]

So like, shouldn't we be wearing white too?

[chuckling]

- Hey, baby. [chuckling]

- Yeah, hey, baby. [chuckling]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Where are you going?

- This sucks.

- Oh, look at her train.

- Yeah, check out the caboose.

- Yeah. - Oh, God.

They must be friends of the groom.

- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today

to join Sarah and Howard in holy matrimony.

- Howard? - Matrimony, of course...

- Who's Howard?

- Is one of the most sacred rituals...

- Probably one of those dorks up there.

- Yeah. [chuckling]

Howard. Howard.

- Oh, God. Must be friends of the bride.

- So I must emphasize, of course,

that when we see Sarah and Howard up here,

we're not looking at two individuals joining together.

- This sucks. What's going on?

- Yeah, really. Come on, hurry up.

- Let's turn to the vows, shall we?

Howard, do you take this woman to have and to hold?

- Yeah, yeah.

I do. - I do.

- Yeah, yeah, me too. Yeah, to hold.

I want to hold her butt.

- And Sarah, do you take this man to have and to hold

from this day forward?

- No way. Take me.

- I do. - Yeah, yeah.

Over here, over here. - Okay, okay, all right.

Well, if anyone here knows of any reason why these two

should not be joined together, speak now

or forever hold your peace. - Uh, I know a reason.

- [gasps] - Because he's a dork.

[people gasp] - Yeah.

- Hey, baby.

Why don't you join together with me instead?

- [gasps] - [chuckles]

- All right.

Let's save it for the reception, g*ng, okay?

I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride. - Yes!

- Yeah, yeah!

- Ushers? Ushers?

- Hey, we were here first, bunghole.

- Yeah, let go of me.

Hey, cut it out. Damn it.

- Hey, cut it out.

- [grunts]

[The Go-Go's "The Whole World Lost Its Head"

Hey, what's this? [chuckling]

- Yeah. - Mm.

Ah, no, don't stub your toe!

Ah! [chuckling]

That scares me, Butt-Head, the thought of,

like, you're hanging your feet off the end of a car,

you know, like that, and then it's like you accidentally--

ah, there it is again! No!

- Settle down, dumbass. - That's dangerous.

She's, like, letting her feet hang down.

It's like, it's gonna accidentally

hit the asphalt and then ow! - So what, Beavis?

- I don't know.

Like, I want their feet to look nice, you know?

- Really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like it when chicks have, you know, like, nice feet.

Keep your feet up! Come on!

And it's like, then you can, like, you know,

put your hands on them and--

- Uh, okay, Beavis.

I think you ought to just shut up.

- See? See?

Ow! [chuckling]

♪ ♪

Damn it.

They keep showing, like, naked feet

and hands, and stuff,

and, like, they need to show the rest.

Come on. - You have to wait, Beavis.

They like to, you know, show a little bit at a time.

- Oh, okay. I can wait.

- ♪ And the whole world lost its head ♪

- Ah, no! You're gonna stub your toe!

Damn it, I want to see a boob now.

- Damn it, Beavis. Shut up.

- ♪ Has the whole world lost its head? ♪

♪ Is it just me? ♪

- ♪ Has the whole world lost its head? ♪

- ♪ Is it just me? ♪

- Yeah. - Kind of catchy.

[hums melody]

- You know one cool thing about these chick bands?

- What?

- Just like, you know, they have chicks in them.

[chuckling]

- Oh, check it out, Butt-Head.

There's gunk flying out of their nostrils.

- Uh, I think those are magic sprinkles.

- That's pretty cool.

[chuckling]

[organ music]

♪ ♪

- Well, looky there. Someone's getting married.

Hell, I remember when I got a weekend furlough

from the service just to make an honest woman out of you.

Remember that? - Yes, dear.

- Being married must suck. [chuckles]

- Oh, yeah. [chuckling]

- Hey, Beavis, I just thought of something.

If you get, like, married, then you'll always be

hanging out with the same person...

- Oh, yeah.

- Saying all the same crap for, like, years and years.

- Oh, yeah. - That would suck.

- Oh, yeah.

[romantic music]

- Take my hand, honeybunch.

♪ ♪

- Pull my finger, buttmunch.

- Oh, yeah. [chuckling]

♪ ♪

- Okay, kids.

Arnold's is proud to present...

- This is, like, on some show, right?

- Weezer!

- Of course it is, buttmunch.

It's on TV. - Oh, yeah.

[Weezer's "Buddy Holly"]

No, but I don't think this is a video.

- They don't play many videos anymore.

It's all, like, shows and, like,

people snowboarding and stuff.

- I think this is-- I think this is "Happy Days."

- Yeah. Crappy Days.

[chuckling]

- Pretty funny, Butt-Head.

Instead of "Happy Days," you called it Crappy Days.

♪ ♪

, , , .

[speaking gibberish] Incorporated.

- Yeah.

♪ We're gonna do it ♪

- ♪ Give us any chance, we'll take it ♪

♪ Give us any-- ♪ [hums melody]

♪ We'll break it ♪

♪ We're gonna make it ♪

♪ We're not gonna take it ♪

♪ All we need is just a little patience ♪

- Yeah. [chuckling]

♪ ♪

I liked this show better when that other dude

owned the restaurant, that dude from Karate Kid.

- Oh, yeah.

Daniel-san, if answer come from inside you, always right.

- Yeah.

That dude could kick Fonzie's ass.

- Yeah, Fonzie doesn't even know karate.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Ooh, ooh, and you know you're mine ♪

- These dudes were always, like, calling

each other nerds and stuff.

- Yeah, I wonder why. [chuckling]

- I think it was, like, back in the old days

before they invented words like "nad," and "buttmunch,"

and "dumbass." - Yeah, yeah.

Things are a lot better now. [chuckling]

- Yeah, buttmunch.

- Oh, yeah. [chuckling]

♪ ♪

- You know what else they're always saying?

They were always saying, like, "Sit on it."

- Sit on what? [chuckling]

What? What?

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

This is a pretty cool show.

[chuckling]

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪