05x34 - Oil Change

[bunniefuu]

[chuckling]

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

- Boys, some of our customers have been complaining

about our French fries. Holy cow.

What are these brown chunks in here?

- Um, hmm, I think those are caterpillars, sir.

- Caterpillars are green, dumbass.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- Hey, that's that grasshopper.

- Grasshopper? - Yeah.

He won't be bothering the customers anymore, sir.

- Yeah, we caught him taking a dump

on one of the tables. [chuckling]

- What in the hell is this? - Oh, yeah.

Remember when I had that Band-Aid on

for, like, two weeks, and then you, like, pulled it off

and I went, "Ah, ah, ah"? - Cool.

- I want the oil changed in this fryer,

and I want it changed before you leave today.

- [chuckling] Fryer, fryer, fryer.

[chuckling]

[Live's "I Alone"]

- ♪ It's easier not to be wise ♪

- Uh, I think this dude is checking you out, Beavis.

- No he's not. Liar.

- Yeah, he is. [chuckling]

He's like, "I like what I see."

[chuckling] I'll be right over.

- Shut up, Butt-Head.

He can't see me because he's just looking at the camera.

He's just a video.

[chuckling]

- Remember that time that dude

was saying that stuff to you at the bus station?

- Shut up, Butt-Head.

- He said, "I like what I see."

Now why don't you go on to one of those stalls,

and I'll meet you there. - Shut up, Butt-Head.

At least I got a candy bar out of the deal.

- Yeah. [chuckling]

- ♪ To leave you there by yourself ♪

- Who the hell is this butt-munch?

[chuckling] What's going on here?

- What's with all these faces he's making?

- Yeah.

- He's, like, trying to be scary

and all heavy and intense and stuff.

- Yeah. [chuckling]

Who's this other guy that keeps, like,

trying of get in front of him?

- Uh, I think he's just some jackass

that wandered on the set.

[chuckling]

Maybe he's, like, the drummer, and, like, they got there,

and they said, "Where are your drums?"

And he was like, "Uh, I thought they were in the van."

- Yeah, and they're like,

"You mean you didn't bring your drums?"

- Yeah.

And they said, "Okay, it's your own fault.

You're gonna have to wander around like a butt-munch

for the whole video. - Yeah, yeah.

And then he said, "Okay, that's okay with me.

Yeah, I can do that.'

- What a jack butt-munch ass dumb butt.

[chuckling]

Look at that little braid thing

on the back of his head. - Yeah, it's like--

it's like one of those dolls where you pull the string

and they, like, talk and stuff.

- That would be a cool doll

if he had, like, this little bald dude without a shirt

and you, like, pull a string on the back of his head,

and he just starts shouting at you.

- Yeah. [chuckling]

- And then it could wet its pants.

[chuckling]

[horns blaring]

This sucks.

How come that manager guy always makes us do work?

- Yeah, that oil was just getting cool too.

- There it is, dude.

Uh, we need to change the oil.

- Yeah, if you could just change it while we wait,

that'd be fine. - Okay.

Pull your car in. - Uh, car?

- Yeah, what do we need a car for?

- Well, how the hell am I supposed to change your oil

if you don't have a car?

Oh, I get it.

You're do-it-yourselfers.

- Uh, Beavis is a do-it-yourselfer.

[chuckling] - Oh, yeah.

- You guys work at Burger World, huh?

I once applied for a job there.

How'd you guys get in there?

- What's this crap?

- All right, I'm gonna give you a quick how-to.

I guess if you're gonna get in at Burger World,

it's not what you know, it's who you know, huh?

- Uh, yeah right. - Yeah.

Me and Butt-Head know each other.

Yeah. - Okay.

First, you open your drain to let out the old stuff.

Make sure you dispose of it properly.

That stuff is toxic.

- Cool. - Yeah.

- When you're done, remember to check it with your dipstick.

- [chuckling] - Dipstick.

[chuckling]

- Okay, lesson's over. No charge.

But it's bucks for the oil.

- Uh, no. - Yeah.

We're not gonna give you any money.

- No cash, huh?

You guys work at Burger World. I guess you're good for it.

Here, I'll set up an account. You can just sign for it.

- Oh, uh, in that case, we want some candy bars too.

- Yeah, and some naked lady air fresheners.

- I can't find any drain.

Oh, wait a minute. [chuckling]

- This work sucks,

and that mechanical dude was a big dumbass.

- Yeah. Hey, let's just scoop it out.

Ow! - Ugh!

- Ow. - Ow.

- Ah. Ah. Ow.

- Hey, Beavis, check it out.

- Ow. - Improved performance.

- Yeah. No thermal breakdown.

- Yeah. [chuckling]

Remember, to check it with your dipstick.

- No way. I think it's ready.

[chuckling]

[humming melody]

- [screams]

- Hey, where's everybody going?

- Yeah. [chuckling]

[people coughing]

- Uh, I don't think we should go back in there, dude.

- Yeah, remember, he said we couldn't go home

till we changed the oil. - Oh, yeah.

Cool. Let's get out of here.

- Yeah. [chuckling]

[sirens blaring]

[Ween's "I Can't Put My Figner On It."

- Uh...

- ♪ Is it alive, does it writhe? ♪

♪ Can it survive under the sun? ♪

♪ I can't put my finger on it ♪

- Hey, Beavis, do something, like--

I don't know, like, something funny or something.

- Um, okay. Um, let me think.

Check this out.

Pfft. Ah!

Pfft! Ah!

Ah! Pfft!

[chuckling]

- Eh, that was pretty cool but, like,

you've done that before. - Shut up, Butt-Head.

Then you do something.

You think I'm just here to entertain you?

- Settle down, Beavis.

- You think I'm just here for your amusement?

You want to do something about it?

- Dumbass. [chuckling]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Are you surprised when I touch the dwarf inside? ♪

- Hey, look at that. Mmm, that looks good.

I like those things.

They got those things over at the mall.

They call them, um, gyros. - Oh, yeah.

Whenever we walk by there,

that guy goes, "Gyro, gyro, gyro."

- Yeah, one of these days,

when I have a lot of money,

I'm gonna go get one of those things.

- Yeah. That would rule.

[chuckling]

♪ ♪

These dudes need to quit screwing around

and get back to making sandwiches.

- Yeah, but, um, it is kind of a good song,

like, if you kind of listen to it for a while,

it is pretty cool. - Beavis, you bunghole.

Quit talking about this video and do something funny again.

- Um. Um, okay.

Check this out. Pfft.

- That's not even funny, Beavis.

You have to do it like this.

Uh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

- Yeah. Oh, yeah.

- Now see, that's cool.

- Yeah, I see what you mean. Okay, check this out.

Mmm, blah, blah, blah. [chuckling]

- Burger World will remain closed

pending fire officials investigation.

- [chuckling] Cool.

- Yeah. News rules.

- And in a related story, a mysterious oil spill

has shocked environmentalists throughout the world.

- Cool.

- It's a major disaster in the Aegean Sea

affecting local fishermen off the coast of Greece.

- Cool.

He's talking about Greece, Butt-Head.

- Yeah.

Whoa, check it out.

They're using the same oil as us.

- Oh, yeah.

Don't forget to put the breading on it.

- Yeah.

Those environmental guys are dumb.

- Yeah.

- I bet that fish tastes like crap.

[heavy rock music]

♪ ♪

[Rancid's "Nihilism"]

- ♪ Hey, hey ♪

- Honor students.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- It's like, this video looks like one of

those old punk bands, you know?

But it's like, the video doesn't look old,

so it's like, it seems like it's, like, a bunch of guys

now who are like... - Ah, shut up, Butt-Head.

- Kind of look, like, old-- uh, okay.

I mean, Beavis, what did you just say?

- I said, shut up.

I'm sick and tired of listening to your stupid crap.

Just shut up.

- Beavis, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

Shut up.

- Beavis, there's gonna be two hits.

My hand hitting your face and, uh, my hand

hitting your face again. - Yeah. Yeah, right.

And I'm gonna kick you in the nads.

Just shut up.

- Beavis, don't you ever tell me to shut up.

I'm gonna b*at the living crap out of you.

- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right.

I'm gonna cave your nads in.

- Dammit, Beavis, I'm going to b*at the living crap

out of your ass.

Ugh!

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

- Take that, dumbass.

Shut up.

Yeah, yeah.

Shut up. [chuckling]

I'm going to go get something to eat.

- Beavis, get back here and fight like a man.

Ugh, ugh. Ugh, ugh.

♪ ♪

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪