[both chuckling]
[mellow rock music]
* *
[both chuckling]
- Whoa.
Think of the things we could do with this.
- Yeah, cool.
Waahh!
- Boys, I can give you a real good deal
on that there bushwhacker.
- Bush.
- Whacker.
[phone ringing]
- Uh, just a second, boys.
Y'ello. - Tom Anderson?
- Speaking. - Hey, Tom.
This is Bill. I need a favor.
The wife's colon is kicking up again,
and I got to take her to the hospital.
Can you come down to the Hall and watch the bar for an hour?
- Well, Bill, I wish I could.
But you see, I got this here yard sale going on and--
- Now, Tom, I'm asking you as one veteran to another.
You haven't forgotten our code of honor, have you?
- Well, I guess I could do it.
[both chuckling]
Say, boys, could I get you to watch
my yard sale for a while?
One of you could be selling while the other one
starts moving things inside.
- Uh, no.
- Yeah.
- Well, I'll tell you what.
I'll give you % of what you sell,
and I'll even throw in that there bushwhacker.
- Uh, OK.
- Yeah. - Cool.
[Juliana Hatfield's "Universal Heart-b*at"]
- Hey, that chick just spat, Butt-Head.
- Yeah.
That rules. - Um, yeah. It's pretty cool.
But, um, I don't know
if I'd want a chick to spit. You know?
Like, it's kind of disgusting on a chick.
- Uh, what do you think happens
when you make out with a chick, Beavis?
It's like, you get all her spit in your mouth and stuff.
- Ew! Really? Aah!
Blah! That's sickening.
- You dumbass.
Whoa.
This chick, like, kind of gives me a special feeling.
I'd do it with her. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know. I know. So would I.
I'd do it with a lot of chicks on TV.
So what?
It's just never gonna happen, and I keep seeing 'em!
It's making me crazy!
- Settle down, Beavis.
- Damn it!
- * A heart that works *
- Ooh, she's kind of hot. - Yeah, yeah, I know.
So what? So what?
- Ooh, she looks good there.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
See? Damn it.
It's like, I see 'em, I get a boner,
and then nothing happens!
- You need to settle down, Beavis.
- I know. See? See? There--there--
whoa, look, she's naked!
Aah! [muttering]
Whoa. - She's buck naked.
- Yeah.
- And she looks pretty good naked.
- Yeah! - Yeah.
- Yeah, now we're getting somewhere.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Ooh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Ooh. - Yeah. Yeah.
- Ew!
- Oh, yeah. That's got to hurt.
- * A heart *
- Remember that time you got all sunburned,
and then your skin peeled, and you, like,
pulled it off and brought it to school and showed everybody?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
That kind of reminds me of the time I was, like,
trying to warm up my nads in the microwave.
- So, like, uh,
how do you just put your nads in the microwave
and not your schlong?
- Well, here. I'll show you.
You kinda like stand up like this and then--
- Aah! Sit down, Beavis.
I don't want to see how you did it.
- Well, you asked, bunghole.
- Uh, are you gonna buy something
or just touch everything?
- Well, I'm looking for a gift for our church rectory.
- Uh, did you say "rectum"?
- Oh, what a precious manger.
The pastor will love this.
But where's the baby Jesus?
- Uh, he's, like, bucks extra.
- Charging money for the baby Jesus?
That's sacrilege.
- He's naked.
- You can tell Tom Anderson he's going to hell for this.
- Whoa.
OK, I'll tell him. Uh--
- Hey, Butt-Head. Check it out.
He's got, like cooler stuff inside.
[slow country music]
Yeah, it even gets p*rn.
No extra charge, sir. Yeah.
- How much did you say you wanted?
- Uh, how much do you want to spend?
- Well, I've only got, uh, $ on me.
But I could write you a check.
- Uh, we only take cash.
But, uh, it just happens to be $.
[both chuckling]
- Yeah. - [grunts]
- Whoa.
Did you see that?
I took all his money.
What a dumbass. [both chuckling]
- Yeah.
Dumbass.
- How you doing, ma'am?
- Excuse me, young man.
Um, what's the price on these dishes?
- Um, bucks. Yeah, bucks.
- But this looks like fine china.
- Um, bucks-- take it or leave it.
- Uh, this table is, like, $.
- Hey, what about the four chairs?
- Uh, they're .
- Uh, how much for the set?
- Uh--uh, .
- Here you go.
- Hey, Beavis.
I'm, like, ripping these people off.
- Yeah, me too.
- They told me I'd be in the VA hospital for a week.
Hell, I was there for nearly nine months.
They took out my intestines, my bladder, my kidney,
and part of my organ.
Oh, you should have seen it.
- Well, that's some tough luck, Sarge.
I wish there was something I could do.
- Well, how about pouring me a sh*t of whiskey.
Numb the pain, you know?
I just want to numb the pain.
- All right.
Well, that'll be two big ones.
- Yeah, put it on my tab.
I'm good for it, you know?
- Sorry, buddy. No can do.
We got something around here called the code of honor.
- Hmm, a Purple Heart from Korea.
You got to be wounded to get one of these.
- Um, oh, yeah. Yeah.
I was sh*t in the butt.
bucks.
- Yo, Ma, can you make some lemonade for the fellas?
- I've seen this video before.
It sucks. - * I need some leverage *
- Wow! I was just thinking the same thing,
and then you said it.
You must, like, read minds or something.
- Uh, yeah. I can do that.
I have, like, uh, ESPN.
- Whoa, really?
That's cool. - Yeah.
- * Yeah, yeah, feeling golden *
- I knew you were gonna say that.
- Wow. So what am I gonna say next?
- Uh, you're going to say, "yeah, huh-huh-huh-huh-huh."
- Yeah, ha-ha-ha-ha.
Wow! You did it again!
That's cool!
- I knew you were gonna say that too.
- Um, OK. Let's try it one more time.
OK, I'm going to think about something.
- Uh, OK.
Um, mm.
Damn it, Beavis.
- Aah! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Cut it out, butthole!
- Don't ever think about that again.
- Wow, this is really cool. OK, let me do it now.
OK, you think of something. - Uh, OK.
- * The heat is getting old *
* Yeah, I'll have a beverage, just make sure it's cold *
- Um, you're thinking about, um--is it some flies?
- No.
- Um--um, is it a suitcase of some kind?
- Uh, no.
- Let me see. You're thinking of, um--
are you thinking you're gonna smack me?
- No, but that's not a bad idea.
- Aah! Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Boys, you did one hell of a job cleaning this junk out.
You must have been selling like real pros.
- Yeah, we ripped people off.
- Well, you can have that bushwhacker.
And I guess I owe you %.
Let's see.
That would be $.
- Uh, weren't we supposed to get, like, $?
- Yeah.
- Well, maybe you boys need to brush up
on your business sense.
Now, a deal is a deal, and I expect you to honor it.
- What a rip-off.
- Yeah, he really screwed us.
- Yeah, and now he's rich.
- What in the hell?
[cricket chirping]
[saw buzzing]
[heavy metal music]
* *
[Shaggy's "Boombastic"]
- * Mr. Boombastic *
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, bum-bastic.
Yeah, here it is!
- * Romantic, fantastic lova * Shaggy.
- [as Shaggy] Mr. Romantic. Mr. Bum-bastic.
- * I'm Mr. Lover Lover *
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
[as Shaggy] Romantic, bum-bastic.
[muttering gibberish]
- * She call me Mr. Boombastic *
* Tell me fantastic * - Bum-bastic.
Yeah. Bum-bastic. Be bum-bastic.
What does "bum-bastic" mean, anyway?
- * She says I'm Mr. Ro-- *
- Uh, well, it's like bombastic is, like,
even better than fantastic. - Uh-huh.
- You know, like, if you were scoring,
you'd be like, "Uh, this is bombastic."
- Yeah. Um, really? Hmm.
I always imagine, you know, like,
if I was ever gonna score, you know,
I'd be, like, going, uh, "Yay-yeah, ooh-ah."
[muttering gibberish]
"Tap that ass."
You know, stuff like that.
- Really?
If I ever score, I'm gonna be going,
[as Shaggy] "This is fantastic, Mr. Bum-bastic."
- Smooth.
- * She touch me on my back. She says I'm-- *
- What is this, um-- this accent he's talking?
- * Tell me fantastic * - Dumbass, it's foreign.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, thanks.
- * Romantic, tell me fantastic *
* She touch me on my back * - Mm!
- Damn it, Beavis, cut that out.
- [as Shaggy] Bum-bastic Mr. Fantastic.
Yeah.
[both chuckling]
[mellow rock music]
* *
06x16 - Yard Sale
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.
Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.