07x06 - A Very Special Episode

[bunniefuu]

[both chuckling]

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

- [chuckles] Are we there yet?

- Damn it, Beavis. Does this look like Las Vegas?

- Um, I don't know. I never been there.

Whoa. [bird tweeting]

- Cool. - It's a chicken!

- No it's not, butt-wagon. It's too small to be a chicken.

- [chuckles] Maybe it's a nugget.

- Yeah. [both chuckle]

You should eat it. - Oh, yeah.

[both chuckle]

Okay, um, heh. [chuckles]

[both chuckling]

- Good Lord, is that a wounded baby bird?

both: Yeah. [both chuckle]

- I'm gonna eat it.

[both chuckle]

- Now don't you boys worry.

- Ow! [car horn honking]

- We'll get that poor, little bird to the hospital

in no time, don't you worry!

[tires screeching]

[both scream]

- Ow. - Hurry up.

Get in there. I'll go park the car.

[tires squeal]

[bell rings]

[both chuckling]

- We don't treat humans here.

- Uh, he's not human. [chuckles]

- Whatever.

- Then, uh, where's the garbage?

- Oh. Fill this out and go wait in there.

- You have to fill out a form

just to throw something in the garbage?

That sucks.

- Beavis, you're a stupid dumbass.

[both chuckling]

Uh, here. You hold it. - Okay.

[both chuckling]

[bird tweeting] - N-name.

- So is this your first time here?

- Um, yeah. [chuckles]

- Butt...head. [chuckles]

- Would you like to pet my Poopy?

- [chuckles] No, thank you.

- Sym--

sympt--Simpsons?

Uh, they're pretty cool. [chuckles]

- Don't worry. She's not going to eat you.

- [screams] No! Hey, hey, hey!

- [yowling] - Bad Poopy! Bad Poopy!

- Bad Poopy! Bad Poopy!

Gimme that bird before I kick your ass!

Bad Poopy! Bad Poopy! No! - Uh, spe--species.

- Damn it! Ow! - [yowls]

- Butthole.

[both chuckling]

- Well, I'm afraid it doesn't look good for your bird.

- Uh, are you sure?

Maybe you should, like, lean over and look again.

[both chuckling] - Yeah.

- No, I'm afraid that even if you take your little bird home,

even if you feed him, he's still going to die.

Do you understand? He's going to die anyway.

- Uh, that's cool. - [chuckles]

Yeah. [both chuckling]

[wings flap weakly] - Never say die, boys.

There's always a chance, and even if--[sighs]

Well, just never say die.

- Die! [chuckles] Die!

- Uh, I guess we better feed it.

- [chuckles] Why?

- Don't you pay attention, Beavis?

That lady with the big boobs said to.

And then it's gonna die. [chuckles]

- Oh, yeah. [chuckles] Let's give it a burrito.

- Birds don't eat burritos, dumbass.

They eat, like worms. [chuckles]

- Okay. [chuckles] Let's see here.

Here you go. [chuckles]

- Uh, why do you have works in your pants, Beavis?

[both chuckle]

- I don't know. They were just there.

Feels pretty cool, though.

- Uh, okay, Beavis. [chuckles]

Uh, chew 'em up and spit 'em into its beak

just like on TV.

- Can we melt some cheese on 'em first?

- Damn it, Beavis.

The longer you stand around doing nothing,

the longer this bird's gonna live. [chuckles]

[delicate orchestral music]

♪ ♪

[inaudible]

♪ ♪

[bird tweeting]

- This sucks. [chuckles]

- Well, you've done a good thing, boys.

But now it's time to let this bird spread his wings and fly.

Go on without me. I can't watch.

[sniffles]

[both chuckling]

- Spread. [both chuckling]

[bird tweeting]

- Uh, today, you are a man.

- Yeah. [both chuckling]

Spread 'em! [both chuckling]

- [grunts]

[both chuckling]

[bird squawks]

- Hey, Butt-Head. You flipped the bird.

[both chuckling] - Oh, yeah.

♪ ♪

[The Toadies' "Possum Kingdom"]

- ♪ Make up your mind ♪

- [chuckles] ♪ Make up your mind ♪

[both chuckling]

- I already made up my mind. This sucks. [chuckles]

- Well, now, come on. Give it a chance.

[both chuckling]

- ♪ Around the lake tonight ♪

♪ By my side ♪

♪ ♪

- Whoa. Is that a body? [chuckles]

- Uh, yeah, I think so. [both chuckling]

- You think they k*lled somebody

just to make this video?

- They should've k*lled the people who made it.

[both chuckling] - Yeah.

- ♪ My sweet angel ♪

- Wonder what that would be like, you know, like, to die.

- Uh, well, you're gonna find out someday.

- Are you threatening me?

I will never die. [chuckles]

- No, I'm serious, Beavis.

It's like, you know, you start to get all old and stuff.

[both chuckle]

- Yeah? Really? What else?

- Uh, I think you start, like, losing control of your wee-wee.

[both chuckle]

- And what else? [chuckles]

- Uh, then you, like, start pooping a lot.

And you, like, lose the grip of your butt.

[dramatic music]

- [screams] I'm gonna die!

[both chuckle]

- Yeah. [chuckles] You're old.

[both chuckling] - ♪ So help me, Jesus ♪

- So, um, so Butt-Head, what would you do, like, if I d*ed?

- I'd probably, like,

move over to the middle of the couch.

It's more comfortable. [chuckles]

- Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckles]

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪