07x11 - Nose Bleed

[bunniefuu]

[both chuckling]

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

[both grunting]

- Uh, six.

Uh, seven.

Uh, eight.

- Ah!

- [chuckling]

- Ow.

Butthole, why'd you make me do that?

- Uh, because it was cool.

- Oh, oh, yeah.

Yeah, it was pretty cool.

Here, you do it. Ow!

- [chuckles]

- That's not what I meant, you butthole.

I meant punch yourself in the face.

- Uh, okay.

- Ow!

- I missed. - Ah!

Damn it! [grunting]

- Whoa.

- What? What?

Ah.

Ah, I'm bleeding. Ah!

I'm bleeding! Oh, no!

Ah, ah!

- Beavis, this is the coolest thing

you've ever done. - Oh, yeah.

Oh. [chuckling]

[laughs] I'm bleeding.

Oh, oh.

I'm still bleeding.

- Yeah, well, if I kick your ass,

you'll be bleeding from both ends.

Now shut up. - Ah, I'm bleeding!

Make it stop! Make it stop!

Thanks. Thanks.

I needed that. - Damn it, Beavis.

Now you got blood all over my hand.

- You're wiping blood on me. Ah!

I got blood on me! No, no!

- Hey, Beavis. I got an idea.

Look at me. [chuckling]

Ah! - Bah!

Ah, oh, ah! - Uh, hmm.

[chuckles]

Uh, wait. I got another idea.

- Oh, oh, mm, mm.

I'm gonna die.

- This will make you feel better.

- Ah, I'm bleeding.

I'm bleeding, butthole. What are you doing?

- Uh. - What are you doing?

Ah! - Here, now breathe.

- [MUFFLED] Ah.

I'm bleeding. Ah, no.

I'm--I'm bleeding. Ah, ah.

Ah, oh.

- Cool. [chuckling]

- Oh, I'm bleeding. Ah, mm.

- Uh... - I'm bleeding.

- Now try drinking this water with your nose.

- [gagging]

[coughing] Ah!

Ah. [grunting]

Oh. Ah!

Ah. Oh.

- [chuckling]

- Ah!

- Mm, I'm bleeding.

Oh, oh. I'm still bleeding.

- Calm down, Beavis. - Oh, mm.

[phone beeping]

[line trilling]

- Operator. May I help you?

- Uh, Beavis is bleeding.

- Excuse me, sir.

If this is an emergency, you should dial --.

This is --, information.

- Uh, okay.

[phone beeping, line trilling]

- Operator. May I help you?

- Uh, what was that number again?

- It's --, sir. I'll connect you.

Please hold on. - Uh, okay.

[chuckles]

Uh.

- I'm gonna die. Oh, no.

- This is emergency --. What's the emergency?

- Uh, Beavis is bleeding.

- You're calm, sir. That's good.

Now, can you tell me, where is your friend wounded?

- Uh, his nose? - He's bleeding from his nose?

Is it broken? - Uh, no.

It's just, like, leaking.

- Your friend has a nosebleed? - Uh, yeah.

- A nosebleed is not an emergency.

- Oh. - Uh, don't worry, Beavis.

It's not an emergency. - Oh.

Oh, that's nice. Oh.

- Butt-head... [coughing weakly]

I'm still bleeding. I'm dying.

- Stop whining, Beavis. You sound like a girl.

Uh... [chuckling]

[toilet flushes]

Uh, here's a quarter.

Could you, like, buy me one of those, uh, you know,

those things you put in your thing

when you, you know, got your thing?

Uh. [chuckling]

- Ah. Yeah, that feels better.

[chuckling] - Uh, yeah.

I feel kind of fresh. - Yeah, yeah, really.

I kind of feel free. [chuckling]

- Let's go play some tennis. - Okay, yeah.

Yeah. I like it.

We could go horseback riding.

[chuckling] - Yeah.

[chuckling]

♪ ♪

[Lordz of Brooklyn's "Saturday Night Fever"]

♪ ♪

- American woman!

- They think they're bad 'cause they're walking slow.

♪ ♪

- Check it out, Scotty.

[with Scottish accent] Captain, she's breaking up!

We can't hold out much longer!

[both chuckling]

Get our your seat and jump around, jump around.

- [with Scottish accent] Get out your seat

and jump around, and jump around.

[both chuckling]

- These guys are like-- um, like,

they're trying to be House of Pain.

- Yeah, and the Beastie Boys and, uh, "Goodfellas."

[chuckles]

- And "Reservoir Dogs."

[both chuckling]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fight! Fight!

[chuckling]

- You know, if these dudes were as cool

as they think they are,

they'd be hanging out with chicks

on a Saturday night. - Yeah, yeah, really.

Or at least, like, you know, watching TV

or something, you know.

[both chuckling]

I wonder where these guys get these clothes.

♪ ♪

- Uh, you can get that stuff at this place

called ByGeorge down at the mall.

- No way. Really?

Cool. [chuckling]

Who are these guys anyway?

- Uh, the Lordz of Brooklyn.

- I thought there was only one lord.

That's what they said in Sunday school.

- Uh, you're thinking of, like, outer space, Beavis.

That's where the Lord lives. - Mm, yeah, yeah.

[chuckles]

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪