07x19 - Shortcuts

[bunniefuu]

[Beavis and Butt-Head snickering]

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- So then, like, the guy came back to life

and k*lled the cop. - Uh-huh.

- But then the cop came back to life and k*lled him.

- Oh, really? - [chuckles]

It was cool. - [snickers]

- And you missed it. [both snicker]

You were asleep.

- No, I wasn't. I was awake.

I was just, like, being quiet.

- Yeah. - You know.

- With your eyes shut. [both snicker]

Hey, Beavis, we should, like, sleep on the way home.

That way we can stay up again.

- Yeah. Yeah. That would be cool.

- Yeah. [both snicker]

[snickering sleepily]

[both snoring]

[grumbles] - Ahh!

[both grumble sleepily]

- Uh. - Hmm.

- You dumbass.

You fell asleep again and now we missed the bus.

[both snicker]

- Sorry about that. So, um--[snickers]

So what do we do now?

- Uh, I guess we have to walk.

- No way. That's too far.

- I know, dumbass, but I know a shortcut.

[chuckles] - Whoa, really?

Cool.

Yeah. Yeah.

[both snickering]

[both snickering]

- Uh, hmm.

[chuckles]

- Um, are we lost, Butt-Head?

- Damn it, Beavis.

For the bazillionth time, no. [chuckles]

Let's go ask that dude over there for, like,

some directions or something. [chuckles]

- Um, can you help us?

We're, like, lost. [snickers]

- No way.

We just don't know where we are.

- Well, where are you trying to go?

- Uh...[chuckles]

- Well, what's your address?

- Uh...

- Um, there's like, um, a tree there.

- Yeah.

And I think the dude next door has a pickup truck.

- Yeah. Yeah. And it's blue. [snickers]

- No, it's not. It's green.

- No, it isn't. It's blue.

- Beavis, it's green. - No, it's blue.

- Well, what street do you live on?

- Uh, I live in a house, dumbass. [chuckles]

- Yeah, um, it's, like, green. [snickers]

- No way, Beavis.

I think it's, like, uh, brown.

[chuckles] - Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[both snickering]

Brown. - Brown.

[both snickering]

- Um, let's ask this dude. [snickers]

Like, um, uh, excuse me and stuff, sir.

- What? - We're like, uh,

looking for our neighborhood. [chuckles]

- Yeah, um, there's, like, a tree there.

Ow!

- We already tried that, dumbass.

[chuckles]

Uh, we live by Anderson.

- Anderson?

Just head north there a couple blocks.

- Whoa. Anderson's house looks nice.

[snickers] - Of course it does, dumbass.

We helped him fix it up, remember?

[chuckles] - Um...

No. [snickers]

[doorbell chimes]

- Yes? - Uh, where's Anderson?

- I'm Mr. Anderson.

- Um, if you're Anderson,

then who are we? [snickers]

- I've never seen you boys before in my life.

- Cool. [chuckles]

Uh, we're trying to find our way home.

- Well, I should hope so at this hour.

- Um, it's by the Maxi-Mart.

[snickers] - Oh.

Well, that's not far from here.

Let's see. You just go down the street...

- Uh...

Damn it, this isn't our Maxi-mart.

[both snicker] - Yeah.

Really. [snickers]

What's going on?

[grumbles angrily] Damn it!

- Uh, we're on our way home.

- On your way home?

Doesn't school start in about an hour?

- Um, Butt-Head's lost. [snickers]

- What school you boys go to?

- Uh, Highland. [chuckles]

- That's way over on the other side of town.

Look, my shift's just about done.

I'll give you boys a lift.

- It's probably gonna be a different Highland.

[snickers]

[both snoring]

Ahh? [both grumble sleepily]

- [groans]

See, Beavis?

That was a lot faster than walking.

[both snicker] - Yeah. Really.

You know, um, like, at first,

I thought you didn't know what you were doing, Butt-Head.

[snickers] Yeah.

[school bell rings]

[people chattering]

[grumbles sleepily]

Uh, uh, hey!

Hey!

- Wait! - Hey!

- Hey, you, wait! Wait a minute!

[tires screech]

- End of the line, boys. Come on.

- Ahh! Ahh! - Last stop. Everybody off.

Come on. Let's go.

- Um, this isn't our stop, Butt-Head.

[snickers]

Bunghole.

- I know that, dumbass.

Just follow me, we'll take a shortcut.

[both snicker]

- Yeah, it'll be good to get back home and stuff, you know.

[snickers] - Yeah.

I wonder what's on TV?

[upbeat rock music]

- Yeah. [snickers]

♪ ♪

[mellow rock music]

♪ ♪

Whoa, hey, Butt-Head, check it out. It's a liar.

Liar! Liar!

I'll rip your guts out!

I'll kick your ass!

Liar! - Shut up.

Those aren't the words.

- Whoa! Whores!

[snickers] Check it out, Butt-Head.

Whores. - Yeah.

Whores rule. [both snicker]

- ♪ Sometimes, I'd rather be blind ♪

♪ ♪

- That would suck to be a cab driver. [chuckles]

- No way, Butt-Head. I think it'd be pretty cool.

I'd be a good cab driver.

I'd be like, "Where are you going today, ma'am?

Okay. How do you get there?"

[both snicker] - You would suck, Beavis.

You sounded like a stupid dork.

[chuckles]

You're never gonna be able to do anything.

[both snicker] - That would be cool.

Check out this part, Butt-Head.

Excuse me, hey. Excuse me. Pardon me.

Hey! Hey, damn it!

Hey! Hey, watch it! Damn it!

[snickers] Damn it. Man.

- Beavis, just shut up.

- Oh. [both snicker]

Uh, okay.

[both snicker]

- ♪ At the end of the day ♪

♪ The only thoughts in your brain ♪

♪ Are all the things that they say ♪

- Damn it. - What a waste.

- Just when you think

something cool's about to happen,

he starts showing off how strong he is.

- Butt-Head, I don't wanna hear you

complaining on this video.

It's about the only cool thing we've seen in a long time.

- Beavis, don't ever take that tone with me.

- Yeah, yeah. [snickers]

- ♪ I wanna disconnect myself ♪

♪ I wanna see it go down ♪ - Yeah!

I wanna disconnect myself! Yeah! Yeah!

- Yeah. Here he goes.

- Come on! Come on, break something!

- Yes! [chuckles] - Yeah.

Yeah, there you go. - Yeah.

[both snicker]

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪