07x01 - Butt, Butt, Hike!

[bunniefuu]

[both snickering]

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- [snickering]

- Damn it, Beavis, get back here with that remote!

- No way, Butt-Head, it's my turn!

- [grunts] - [yells]

No way!

[grunting]

- Hey, nice tackle.

One of our guys had to go home.

Wanna play? - Huh?

- Come on, fellas, we got a sixth.

Let's play some ball!

- [snickers] Ball.

[snickering] - [snickering]

- Okay, listen up. We're up -.

You got to stop Jimmy over there if we're going to win.

If he gets the ball, tackle him.

- Uh, heh-heh, okay.

[snickering]

- That's Jimmy, over there.

- Uh, oh, yeah. [snickering]

- [growls]

- Hut one! Hut two!

Hike!

- [grunting] - [snickering]

- Tackle him, tackle him!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah! Tackle him!

Heh, kick him in the nads!

- Get out of the way!

- [grunts] [snickering]

- [growls] - [snickering]

- Uh. - [grunts]

- [groans] - Yeah, yeah, go!

- Yeah, yeah, go, go! - Touchdown!

- [laughs] All right!

- Uh, did we score?

[snickering]

[coughing]

[groaning]

[grunts]

[snickering] - [snickering]

[snickering] - Cut it out, Beavis.

[coughs]

- Your friend took a pretty good sh*t, man.

- Yeah, I think I heard a bone snap.

- [chuckles]

- [snickering] Bone.

- You ready to play?

- Um... [snickering]

Hmm, heh.

- It's a tie game, bro. We need you, come on.

- Um, heh-heh, yeah, okay. [snickering]

Kick some ass, yeah. [snickering]

- Set, hut-hut, hike!

- [snickering]

- [grunting]

- The other way! Go the other way!

- Really? Heh-heh.

Okay. [snickering]

[shaking]

Gah! Hey, get out of the way!

Leave me alone! Heh.

Damn it-- - [groans]

- You bunghole.

[snickering]

- [groaning]

- Heh, yeah, heh-heh. - Jerry, Jerry!

- [grunts] - [snickering], heh-heh.

- Run! That's it, you got it, man!

You got it! Not me, you idiot!

- [snickering] - I'm on your team!

- No, what are you doing, man? - [grunting]

- Ow! Let go of me!

- No way! [snickering]

- Oh, no, man! - Whoa, cool.

- What are you doing? Pick up the ball and run!

- Okay. [snickering] [snickering]

Dun-dun-dun, heh, yeah!

- Hey, come back with my ball, man!

- Dum da-da dum da dum. [snickering]

- [panting]

- Yeah, yeah. [snickering]

- Uh, heh-heh.

- Hey, man. How do you feel?

- Uh... [snickering]

May I help you? [snickering]

- Your buddy better get back here with my football,

or I'm going to get pissed.

- You guys have never played before, have you?

- Uh, yeah. [snickering]

- So where is he?

- [snickering] Yeah, yeah.

Dum da-da dum. [snickering]

[gentle woodwind music]

[snickering] Argh.

[snickering]

Heh, I'm gonna score, heh-heh.

[heavy metal music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ I lost my heart ♪

- Oh, look at that!

That's that chick. [snickering]

- Uh, oh, yeah, that chick. [snickering]

- Yeah, she looks nice when she's dressed up.

- Yeah. Not too shabby.

[snickering] - Yeah, yeah, yeah, heh.

I mean, in that other video, she was just like,

you know, looked all, I don't know, you know, heh.

I mean, she looked all right, but you know, ooh.

- Yeah, really. [snickering]

She looks kind of sexy. [snickering]

- Yeah. [snickering]

- How come chicks in videos never dress up?

It's like they always, like, come out all skanky-looking.

- Yeah, yeah.

I think they do that on purpose

because they think that, like,

people want to see them looking all skanky.

But I think, like, people really don't want to see that.

People really want to see them, like, you know,

looking all sexy and, you know,

like, with some lipstick and,

you know, some--some long hair and,

you know, show a little bit of the, you know?

[snickering] - Yeah. [snickering]

Uh, this chick's got kind of, like, a big mouth.

- Yeah, really.

And her nose is kind of big, too, yeah, heh.

- And you know what they say about having a big nose?

[snickering] - Oh, yeah. [snickering]

She probably got a big schlong, too. [snickering]

- Yeah, heh-heh.

Boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoing. [snickering]

- You can't really do that, Butt-Head.

So don't even try. [snickering]

- Uh, I'm pretty good at smacking you

upside the head, though.

[snickering] - Um, heh-heh.

- ♪ Big fish swimming in the water ♪

- Boy, this chick is freaky, heh.

This whispering is freaking me out, Butt-Head.

I don't like this. - Heh-heh, yeah, heh-heh.

- [whispering] ♪ Swimming in the water ♪

- [quietly] I'm not going to change the channel, Beavis.

- It doesn't freak me out when you do it, Butt-Head.

It sounds stupid when you do it.

- [normally] Oh, yeah?

Well, you're going to be freaked out when you find

this remote shoved up your butt sideways.

- That wouldn't freak me out that much.

I'd just go to the bathroom and poop it out.

I've done that before with stuff.

- [snickering]

- [snickering]

- ♪ Little fish, big fish ♪

♪ Swimming in the water ♪

[rock music]

♪ ♪