07x32 - Work is Death

[bunniefuu]

[chuckling]

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

[horn honks] - [chuckling]

- [chuckles]

Damn it.

[grunting]

[sizzling]

[screaming]

- [chuckling]

- What happened to your hand?

- He was playing with the meat.

- What?

Damn it, Beavis,

there's nothing wrong with you.

- Huh? [chuckles]

Um...oh, yeah. [chuckles]

I'll be damned.

- Be careful in the kitchen.

Burger World cannot afford to pay out

any more workers' compensation.

- Uh, workers' constipation?

- Yeah, yeah, I get that all the time at work

when I can't take a poop. [chuckles]

- No, you idiot, workers' compensation.

If you get hurt at work,

the government makes me send you home

and pay you money for not working,

so stay out of trouble.

- Whoa, did you hear that, Beavis?

If you, like, get hurt at work,

we can go home and still get paid.

- Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckles]

He should have told us that a long time ago.

[chuckles] - [chuckles] Yeah.

[grunts] - [screams]

What the hell are you doing, fartknocker?

- Uh, I'm, like, hurting you so we can get some money.

[chuckles] - Um...oh, hey.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Um, okay, but, um, just don't touch my nads.

[both chuckle]

- Uh, this is, like, gonna hurt you

more than it hurts me.

[chuckles] - [screams]

Ow! Hey! Ow!

- Damn it, this is taking too long.

- Um, maybe you should try kicking me.

- Uh, okay.

[chuckles]

[dramatic music]

[chuckles in slow motion]

♪ ♪

[grunts]

♪ ♪

[grunts]

[grunts]

- [whimpers] - [chuckles]

I kicked your ass. [chuckles]

- Yeah, thanks. [chuckles, coughs]

So where's the money?

- Uh, I think we need to, like,

show that manager dude

that you can't work or something.

- Um...yeah, yeah, okay. [chuckles]

- Hello!

I've been standing here for minutes.

- [chuckles]

Um...can I, um-- [coughs]

Can I help you or something?

- Uh, yeah.

Give me some chicken fingers and some small fries and--

Hey, hey!

I'm not gonna keep waiting, you know.

- Um, yeah, damn it, I can still work.

- Uh, okay. [chuckles]

Uh, hold still. I'm gonna finish the job.

[chuckles]

- No. [whimpers]

No, no.

[pan clangs] [screams]

- Uh, hey, what the hell is going on here?

- [screams]

- Uh...[chuckles]

We're, like, trying to get some of that workers' constipation.

- You don't get workers' comp for fighting.

It has to be an accident.

- You mean we need to, like, poop in our pants?

[chuckles] Poop.

- No, you moron, you have to be injured

by something on the job.

Now clean yourself up and get back to work.

- Uh, why didn't that fartknocker

tell us that before?

- Yeah, yeah, really, he keeps leaving stuff out.

[chuckles]

- Uh...

[shimmering tone]

[laughs]

[flames roaring]

- [vocalizing]

Just doing some work here.

[screams]

- [chuckles]

[metallic rattling] [laughter]

Come on, Beavis, stick it in there.

- Hey, Butt-head, you said--

- [chuckles]

Uh, like, drive up to the window, please...

[chuckles] As fast as possible.

Uh, hey, Beavis, put your head

out the window so the car will hit you.

[chuckles] - Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckles]

[tires squealing]

[yelping]

[tires screech]

- [chuckles] - Um...hey, how's it going?

- Dumbass.

- What the hell is going on?

[yelps]

[screaming]

[coughs] - Whoa.

[both chuckling]

- Damn it, we worked hard for that workers' constipation,

and this bunghole stole our idea.

- Uh...[chuckles]

Can you show us how you did that?

- You bastards!

[grunts]

[both laughing]

[rock music]

[Foo Fighters' "I'll Stick Around"]

♪ ♪

- Hey, that's that dude from Nirvarna.

[chuckles]

- Um--um, Butt-head,

I don't think that dude's with us anymore.

You shouldn't say that.

- I'm talking about the drummer, dumbass.

- Um, I've never seen that drummer before in my life.

That's not him. [chuckles]

- No, butt-munch,

I'm talking about the drummer from Nirvarna

is playing guitar here.

[chuckles] - Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, you're right. [chuckles]

You know, um, these are kind of, you know, like,

nice colors, you know.

They're all orangey and kind of pretty and stuff.

[chuckles]

- [chuckles] Uh, Beavis,

you, like, swing on that side now?

[chuckles]

- Um--um, do I swing?

No, I haven't-- [chuckles]

I haven't been to the swings

since I was, like, eight years old.

[both chuckle]

Um, I don't even think we have a swing set anymore.

What are you talking about?

- Uh, never mind, Beavis.

[chuckles] Dumbass.

[chuckles]

[both chuckling]

- Why are all these dudes dressed up in white?

- Uh, I think it's, like, they all drive ice-cream trucks.

[chuckles] - Yeah, that'd be cool,

you know, like, if instead of that dorky music

the ice-cream truck plays,

if they played this.

- Yeah, and then they take the ice cream

and just throw it at you and scream.

- Yeah, and then you just, like, drive the ice cream truck

across your lawn and just tear ass and be like,

"I don't owe you anything! Bwah!"

That would rule! [chuckles]

♪ ♪