07x37 - Leave It to Beavis

[bunniefuu]

[snickering]

[rock music]

- Gee, Wally, Dad said not to,

and besides, I don't want him to holler at me.

- [snickering] Beaver.

- Yeah, yeah, Beaver kicks ass.

Hey, but it's like, um, that's not really

what stuff was like back then.

- Yeah, it's like, if this was real

and it was, like, the 's,

things would be all different and stuff.

- [snickering] Yeah, yeah.

[whimsical music]

- "Leave it to Beavis,"

starring Mrs. Stevenson,

Butt-Head,

and Beavis as The Beavis.

♪ ♪

- [snickering] - Hurry up.

The bus is almost here.

- Hey, Lumpy.

[car horn honking]

- Hey, squirt. You ready to go to school?

- Gee, Eddy. I don't know.

Are you sure you're gonna take me to school?

- [laughs] Yeah, I will take you to school.

[revs engine]

- Uh, Beavis, I don't think

you're supposed to take rides from a stranger.

- I'm not so sure, Eddy.

I'm supposed to take the bus.

- Come on, man.

Don't you wanna be cool?

- I guess so, yeah.

- Well, get in then, you little goof.

So, Beaver...

- Um, the name's Beavis, sir.

- Oh. Well, excuse me, Beaver.

Look, listen up.

For today's lesson,

you're going to buy me a pack of smokes.

- But, gee, Eddy.

All I got is some milk money.

- Well, squirt, I guess you won't be drinking milk today.

♪ ♪

- [snickering]

- Now, don't you think you should go to work, dear?

- No.

[snickering]

- Okay, squirt, get in there and get me some smokes.

- Um, are you sure I should be doing this, Eddy?

- What did you say?

- I said, are you-- - [revs engine]

Listen, squirt, you better get in there and get me

some smokes before today's lesson

turns into ass-kicking .

- Oh, hey there, Master Cleaver.

Aren't you supposed to be in school?

- Well, I guess so,

but all I know is, I'm supposed to come in here

and buy some cigarettes.

- Hey, you wouldn't be buying

these for Eddy, now would ya?

- Gee, how'd you know?

- You're the third kid he's brought in this week.

Tell Eddy it's against the law

for me to sell cigarettes to a boy your age.

And then, tell him it's cigarettes cause cancer.

- Yeah, but if I tell him that,

he might get all sore and stuff,

and then he's liable to b*at me up.

- Well, if he tries that,

you tell him that's against the law too.

- I don't see my smokes in your hand.

- He said it's against the law to sell them to me.

Besides, cigarettes cause cancer.

- Oh, is that a fact?

Well, I guess you just graduated to my next class,

Human Punching Bag class.

♪ ♪

[doorbell rings]

- Can you get the door, dear?

I'm baking cookies.

- Uh, okay.

[doorbell rings] Uh, come in.

- Good afternoon, Mr. Cleaver.

- Oh. [coughs]

- Whoa, what happened, uh... son?

- It seems that little Beaver here

ran afoul of some asphalt.

- [laughs] "Asphalt."

- Who's at the door, dear?

- Our dumbass son.

- Now, Ward, are you being a little hard on The Beavis?

- "Hard."

"On."

- Oh, dear God. What happened?

- You know, I think I saved your boy from certain death,

Mrs. Cleaver.

- Oh, however can I thank you, Eddy?

- [sniffs] Mmm.

You smell great, Mrs. Cleaver.

- Oh, I was just baking some cookies.

- Perhaps I could taste them--

your cookies, that is.

- Why, sure, Eddy.

Why don't you come with me in the kitchen?

- Have a seat, Squirt.

- Ah!

- Eddy--

- These sure are some great-looking cookies,

Mrs. Cleaver.

Mm-mmm.

- Oh, Eddy.

- Oh, yeah! - Ooh!

- Mm. [laughs] All right!

- Well, Beavis, I sure hope you learned

a valuable lesson today.

- [coughs] Yeah.

- Oh, yeah.

[coughing]

- [speaking indistinctly] [laughs]

- I ain't saying no to that.

- Oh, my.

- Say hello to my little friend.

[rock music]

- Whoa!

This looks like it might rock.

- Yeah, maybe.

- Maybe, yeah.

I mean, I don't know.

Maybe it's all right, you know?

I guess it sounds kinda cool.

[laughs]

- You know what might make it different?

If like, you know, if you were really dizzy

when you're watching it.

- Yeah, yeah. If you're all like,

dizzy in the head and you're watching this.

- Yeah.

Want me to strike you?

- No, I know how to make myself dizzy.

Check it out. I've learned this one thing.

Check this out.

♪ ♪

[sputtering]

[breathing heavily]

Ah, man.

I think that the problem with this video is,

it is highly derivative

of many popular bands within the genre.

Although, when viewed on its own merits,

it does have a decent groove. - Uh, Beavis?

- However, what it has in groove,

it lacks in originality.

- What's your problem? - One can't help but be

reminded of such bands as Pearl Jam,

Zombies, Suicidal Tendencies, and other bands

that bear the mantle of--

- You're talking like a dork, Beavis.

- One is even reminded of Lory Anderson

when she wore curlers.

This video speaks less to the heart

and more to the thinker.

In closing, I think Korn... - Beavis!

- Would do well to learn more from--

Ah! Ow.

Whoa, what happened?

- You got all dizzy,

and then you started talking like a dumbass.

- Oh, really?

Wow.

- Yeah.

But then you did say spankster.

- Oh, yeah.

It's pronounced spankster, Butt-Head.