01x12 - A Question of Honor

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Webster". Aired: September 16, 1983 – May 8, 1987.*
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Set in Chicago, revolves around Webster Long, a 5-year-old African American orphan whose biological parents were recently k*lled in a car accident and is taken in by his godfather, retired football star George Papadopolis.
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01x12 - A Question of Honor

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- Oh, my goodness, Webster,

that's quite animpressive house of cards.

- Took me hours to build it,

but I have to moveit before dinner.

- It's a shame you'llhave to take it down.

- No, I won't. [laughing]

[audience laughing]

[Webster laughing][audience laughing]

♪ Set in my ways, losingtrack of the days ♪

♪ Only me to live for ♪

♪ Had no need to givemore than I wanted to ♪

♪ Spending my timejust holding the line ♪

♪ Never getting caught up ♪

♪ Love was never brought up ♪

♪ It's not the thing to do ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, it wasyou, then came you ♪

♪ You made me leapwithout taking a look ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, it wasyou, then came you ♪

♪ You reeled me right in,line, sinker, and hook ♪

♪ Never thought foreverwas the best I could do ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you, me and you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you, me and you ♪

♪ It was you and me ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

[bright upbeat music]

- George, ma'am, come quick.

George, you come with me.

Oh, ma'am, could youkeep the door open

and kind of stay out the way?

- [George] Webster?

- Shh, come on. Come on.

- [George] Yeah, sowhat do we do now?

- [Webster] Now we ringthis guy's doorbell.

[doorbell rings]

- [George] Yeah, and then what?

- Now we run likecrazy. I not here!

[audience laughing]

- I know. You're not here.

- [Webster] Overhere, hurry. Shh.

- Hello. Ramon Caballero.

- Ah, KatherineCalder-Young Papadopolis.

- Pleasure. Have you seen a, uh-

- Tall man?

- Yes. And a, uh-

- Small boy?

- Yes.- No.

[audience laughing]

- Well, if you do-

- I will.

- Fine.

- Pleasure. Coastis clear, boys.

Time for milk and cookies.

- That was great, George.

You think just likea nine-year-old.

[audience laughing]

- Well, I would'vesaid 10-year-old,

but I'll bow to you, Webster.

- Since when are you such anauthority on nine-year-olds?

You're only seven.

- Yeah, but all my newfriends are all nine.

- Did your new friendsteach you that little trick?

- Yep. They taughtme lot of new tricks.



[audience laughing]

- Yeah, well, here's somethinga seven-year-old should know.

Those pranks you'replaying are pain in the=

- George.

- I was gonna say neck, darling.

- Yeah, sure. [laughs]

[audience laughing]

- Well, from now on,there'll be no more pranks

played aroundhere, you got that?

- Well...

- Huh?

- Okay. It's a deal.

- Okay.[toy buzzes]

[audience laughing]

- [laughs] Last one, I promise.

Here, I want you have it.

- Webster, youbetter get a move on.

The school bus'llbe here any minute.

- Yes, ma'am.

Nine year olds. Wow!

[audience laughing]

- I don't like it, Katherine.

- Next time, makeyour own coffee.

[audience laughing]

- Not the coffee, darling.

I don't like the idea ofWebster hanging around

with nine-year-old pranksters.

- Well, I don't think Webstershould play practical jokes

on the neighbors, but come on.

When we were kids, we allplayed practical jokes.

- Not me. Not then, and not now.

Pranks are silly,immature, and childish.

- I see.

So there's nothingsilly, immature,

or childish aboutGeorge Papadopolis?

- Amen.

[doorbell rings]

Odds.

- George.

- Oh, okay, then evens.Once, twice, three times.

sh**t.

- The door, Mr. Adult.

- Ah, god, I shouldhave taken odds.

[audience laughing]

- Hi, George. Garbagedisposal on the fritz again.

Hi, Katherine.

- Trudy.

- Ooh, I'm just beinga good neighbor.

Don't worry, I'll have thatsucker humming in no time.

- Uh, Trudy.

- Just a littlespinning action here.

- Trudy, you're really making

a mistake.- Stand back, Katherine.

I'm working here, thank you.

[audience laughing]

- Uh, we don't havea garbage disposal.

- Then I guess this is silly.

[audience laughing]

- Guess so.

- Oh, of course. It mustbe the Penske's disposal.

You see, they have a disposal,and my little Melanie plays

with their little Barry,but she doesn't play

with Webster becauseWebster plays with hoodlums.

Well, have a nice day.

- Hoodlums.- What are you talking about,

hoodlums?

- Webster's new friends.

They're gangsters, all of them.

Of course, that's just onecaring mother's opinion.

Well, I gotta fly.

- Don't forget your broom.

[audience laughing]

- Maybe we should, uh,pull Webster out of school

and talk to him.

- You were a joy buzzered,honey. Life goes on.

[audience laughing]

[George clears throat]

- Well, maybe we shouldtalk to him after school.

- We can't comerunning back here

in the middle of the afternoon.

- Why not?

- As a consumer advocate,

I get to listen toa lot of complaints.

Today is small appliance day.

By 3:00 this afternoon, I willbe knee-deep in waffle irons.

- Yeah, well, I'll meet him.

- Well, what about your biginterview with B.J. Thomas?

- O.J. Simpson.

- Whatever.

[audience laughing]

Uh, tell you what,we'll both be back here

as soon as possible andjust cut our day short.

- That's a deal.

[toy buzzes][Katherine yells]

[audience laughing]

[audience clapping]

[bright upbeat music]

- Never saw that one before.

- Hey, Maurice.

I thought you said the specialof the day was swordfish.

- It is swordfish.

- Well, this swordfishtastes like meatloaf.

[audience laughing]

Well?

[audience laughing]

Why do I come here?

[boys laughing]

- Whoa, all right![hands smacking]

- See that prank?

- Oh, god!- Totally!

- You got it that time.

[boys laughing]

- Yo, Web, how you doing?

Oh, I see you brought yourfriends in here today.

- Maurice, thisis Petey Sullivan,

Matthew Blake, andDwight David Heisenower.

- Dwight David Eisenhower.

- Heisenower.

- Hey, hey, hey! Youhear this, Harry?

- Leave me alone.

- All right, all right.

- So what'll it be, Ike, alittle tutti frutti maybe, or?

- Maurice.

Tutti frutti forseven-year-olds!

- You are seven.

- Yeah, but those guys are nine.

- Oh, I'm impressed.Aren't ya impressed, Harry?

- Nothing impressesme. Life stinks.

- Eh, how aboutsomething more grown up?

Say, like, uh, chocolate sodas.

- [Boys] Yeah, chocolate sodas!

- And because youWebster's friends,

there's a special price.

Only 50 cents a piece.

- All right!- Hey, Web,

why don't you bringthe man the money?

- Wow, thanks guys.

- I'm telling you guys, wecan't let him in the club.

You gotta be nine.Now, that's the rule.

- Yeah, but if wedon't let him in,

who's gonna carry our books,

dump our lunch trays,tell us we're great?

- You're right. We need the kid.

[audience laughing]

[machine whirring]

- Hey, I got an idea.

[boys whispering faintly]

[boys laughing]

- [Petey] All right!

- There you go. Enjoy.

[boys laughing]

- What's so funny?

- Should we tell him?

- I don't know. He might squeal.

- I won't squeal. I promise.

- Come on, guys. Let'slet him in the club.

- Yeah, then we can tell him.

- Okay, but yougotta hate liver.

- I do.

- And spinach.

- I do.

- And girls.

- I will.

[audience laughing]

- [Matthew] Okay, come here.

[boys whispering faintly]

[Petey, Matthew,and Dwight laughing]

- Are you sure that's funny?

- It's a crack up.

- Well, okay.

Maurice, my tummy hurts.

- What? Come here, sit down.

Let me take your temperature.

No, I'll call you folks.

- [Dwight] Come on,Web. We gotta go.

- Okay. We'll see ya, Maurice.

- Hey, what about your tummy?

- It's a joke. Get it?

- Oh! No.

[audience laughing]

- Maybe I did it wrong.Oh well, see you later.

Hey guys, wait for me.

- Boy, kids, they getyounger every day.

I don't believeit. He stiffed me.

- I forgot my glasses.

- Yeah, you alsoforgot to pay me.

- I left it under theashtray as always.

- Well, it ain't there now,and the only other people

that were here wasWebster and his friends.

[gentle melancholy music]Oh, no.

[bright upbeat music]

- Jerry, are you coming in?

- [Jerry] No.

- Come on, Jerry.

- Barbarians. Brattlings.

- So how's it going, Jerry?

- Hellions, hoodlums, hooligans!

- That good, huh?

[audience laughing]

- Well it's your own fault.

- Very nice. An employerto her devoted secretary.

- Did you really think thatkid could tell your fortune?

- Of course not.

- Then why'd yougive him a dollar?

- I thought it would befun to have my palm read.

- Well, it's red. [laughs]

[audience laughing]

- And it's your fault.- [gasps] My fault?

- Well, if Websterweren't hanging out

with those bad seeds,

we would've worked late, likeevery small appliance day,

and I wouldn't have run intothat hoodlum who hoodled me.

- He hoodled you?

- Oh, he didn't hoodle me?

- Jerry!

- Katherine, I'm sorry.

I can't possibly workhere this afternoon.

- I was thinking thesame thing, Jerry.

[audience laughing]

- I'll be going to Eduardo'sto return this suit.

- Jerry Silver!

- Well, it was damaged!

[audience laughing]

[Katherine sighs]

[Katherine grunts]

- Hey.- Hey, George. Hi, ma'am.

- Hi.

- Webster, we'd like to talkto you about your friends.

- The new ones or the old ones?

- The new ones.

- Good, because I don't playwith the old ones anymore,

especially Melanie.

- Why? What's thematter with Melanie?

- First, she's a girl and mynew friends don't like girls.

- Well, we'd like to meetsome of your new friends.

- That's great.

- Is it?

- I'd love myfriends to meet you.

I think you guys are neat.

- Thank you.

- I'll bring them home tomorrow.

- You see, there'snothing to worry about.

- Yeah, maybe Iwas overreacting.

[doorbell rings]

Odds.

- Please just get the door.

[audience laughing]

- You never play withme anymore, Katherine.

Maurice.

- Hi, George. I'm reallysorry to bother you.

- No bother at all. Come on in.

- Hi, Maurice.

- Oh, hi Mrs. P.

[audience laughing]

- What can, whatcan we do for you?

- Well, it's like they say,

I got good newsand I got bad news.

You see, uh, myestablishment was robbed.

- [gasps] Oh, that's terrible

- I know. And that'sthe good news.

[audience laughing]

The bad news is that Webster

was one of thealleged perpetrators.

[gentle melancholy music]

- Webster, did you and yourfriends take the money?

- I can't tell.

- You mean you won't tell.

- Webster there was no oneelse in the restaurant, right?

- Right.

- And Maurice wouldn'tsteal his own money, right?

- Well, I don'tknow him that well.

- Webster.- Webster.

[audience laughing]

- So you and your friendswere the only ones

who could have taken it, right?

- I can't tell.

- Well, you've gottatell us something

or we're gonna haveto assume you did it.

- What's gonna happen to me?

- Well, nothing'sgonna happen to you.

[audience laughing]

- Well, he's gonna be punished.

- Wait a minute.

She just said nothing'sgonna happen to me.

[audience laughing]

- Webster, we would be badparents if we didn't punish you.

- Not in my eyes.

[audience laughing]

- Please go to your room sowe can decide what to do.

- Can I make one phone call?

- All right, go on.

- Thank you.

- That sad little face.

- Yeah, well, he should besad. He did something wrong.

- Hello, Dwight,this is Webster.

Did you guys take anymoney from the restaurant?

Of, of course I didn'tsqueal. I'd never squeal.

But stealing is bad.You gotta give it back.

Listen, I am gettinginto deep trouble.

[audience laughing]

Hello? Hello?

Have you decidedon my punishment?

- Not yet.

- Then I'm not beingpunished yet, right?

- Well, technicallythat's correct.

- Good. I thinkI'll go take a walk.

- A walk?

- I'll be back ina little while.

I just have some thinking to do.

If one of you wants to comewith me, I won't stop you.

- Is this goingto be man-to-man?

- Well, only if George comes.

[audience laughing]

[gentle light music]

- Penny for your thoughts.

All right, 75 cents.

You know, I got afeeling you and I

are thinking the same thing.

- You're thinkingabout Raymond Seltzer?

[audience laughing]

- Mm, no. Who's Raymond Seltzer?

- He's in my class.Second row, third seat.

- Yeah, go on.

- Susan Lipa losther pencil case.

- What does this have todo with Raymond Seltzer?

- Teacher blamed iton him for taking it.

- Was he innocent?

- Yep, Neil Conrad took itand Raymond told on him,

and Susan got herpencil case back.

- Well, that's good.

- Not for Raymond. Everyonecalls him a tattletale.

No one talks to him anymore.

- Oh, so you're afraidif you tell the truth,

no one will talk to you anymore.

- Maybe.

- Well, you know whatI think the truth is?

I think the truth is thatthose guys took the money,

and you didn't knowanything about it.

- I didn't say that.

- Oh, I didn'tsay you said that.

It's just a hunch.I could be wrong.

- Well, you could be right.

- Well then, you'rein trouble, kiddo.

I don't see any of those boys

coming over hereand helping you.

- But they still might.

- What if they don't?

- But George, I gave my word.

[gentle light music continues]

- Yeah, that's honorable,but the question is,

did you give it tothe right people?

- George? Webster'sbeing punished.

I mean, I thought weagreed to ground him.

He's not supposed to be havingparties with other children,

especially WillySutton and the boys.

[audience laughing]

- Well, he, uh, invitedthe boys up to apologize.

- He did?

- Yeah, that's whatI think he did.

I mean, he invited the boysand he invited Maurice up.

What else could it be?

[doorbell rings]

- I'll get it.

Hi. Come on in, Maurice.

- [Maurice] Oh, thanks, Web.

[audience laughing]

- You remember myfriends, right?

- Yeah. They look familiar.

- [Boys] Hi, Maurice.

[audience laughing]

- Oh, hi, George.Uh, hi, Mrs. P.

- Maurice.- [laughs] So, uh,

what brings mehere you might ask.

- Uh, didn't Webster tell you?

- Well, uh, he was alittle oblique, uh,

but he said if I cameover, I'd be a happy man.

- So?

- Not yet.

[audience laughing]

- Hey guys, think wecan make Maurice happy?

Dwight.- I didn't do anything.

- Matthew?

- I got nothing to say.

- Petey?

Well, I have something to say?

- Web, you promised!

- Don't worry. Ikeep my promises.

- So, uh, how's life inthe fast lane, Mrs. P?

- Full of small appliances.

[Maurice laughing]

[change jingling]

- Maurice, I can't tellyou who stole the money,

but I can give it back.

Sorry, piggy.

- Web.

- You're right. Whyshould the pig suffer?

[audience laughing]

Here.- I can't take it.

- Oh, you must.

- Yeah, but the moneyain't important.

- Well, he knows that. That'swhy you have to take it.

- You're right. I'm a happy man.

[audience laughing]

- What'd you do that for?

- How would I know?I'm only seven.

- Yeah, seven-year-oldsdon't know anything.

- We know who our friends are.

- Let's get outta here.

- [Petey And Dwight]Yeah, let's go.

- [Petey] What're wedoing around here?

He's gonna get us in trouble.

- Giving away yourmoney. Boy, what a sap!

- [Matthew And Petey] Bye, sap.

[gentle somber music]

- George, ma'am, doyou think I'm a sap?

- What do you think?

- I hope not, but I might be.

- But you did dosomething honorable.

You made a promise andyou kept your word.

And you know something?You didn't do it for them.

- I didn't?

- Mm-mm. You did it for you.

- Yeah, and I don'tcare what anybody says.

I like liver and spinach

and girls.

[audience laughing]

[audience clapping]

- I do too.

[audience laughing]

- [laughs] Well, are youfeeling better about everything?

- Yeah, I feel alot better about it.

- I was talking to Webster.

- I'm okay, except I don't haveanyone to play with anymore.

- Well, what about Melanie?

- Yeah, Melanie!

What ifshe doesn't talk to me?

I wasn't very nice to her.

- It's ringing.

- Okay, but it'snot gonna be easy.

[audience laughing]

Hello, Melanie? Wannacome upstairs and play?

Yeah, I know you're a girl,

but us seven-year-oldsgot to stick together.

[audience laughing]

Yes, I'll give youice cream and cookies

and balloons.

[audience laughing]

What? Can Melanie have a pony?

[audience laughing]

- A pony?- A pony?

- I told you itwasn't gonna be easy.

[audience laughing]

What color?

[bright upbeat music]

[audience clapping]

Piggy looks happy.

- Yeah, me and thepig are always happy

when an old pal visits us.

- What's that?

- It's a thing witha picture in it.

One of my olderfriends gave it to me.

He said not to look atit till I'm married.

[audience laughing]

- I don't see anything.Must be my eyes.

[audience laughing]

[Webster laughing]

[audience clapping]

[bright upbeat music]

[bright lively music]
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