Last season on "L.A. Law"...
-[overlapping shouts]
-Tommy, please come out here!
Tom...
I'm so sorry, Tommy.
TOMMY: It's, um, my fault.
Excuse me, guys.
I know we're finished, our lives are separate,
and I'm happy for you.
I want you so much to be happy.
But seeing you with somebody else,
my heart's in a million pieces here, and I can't help it.
I have been asked to serve out Art Middleman's term on the city council.
-Wow.
-What an honor.
It's a five
-month appointment.
I'm not considering running for a seat.
You saying that I should hide the fact that I'm seeing a white woman?
Of course, not. But you might want to consider
the timing of this kind of personal revelation.
Understand.
I want us to be together emotionally,
but I never said anything about getting married.
But that's where we're headed.
I don't want to string you along, Zo.
You're breaking up with me, aren't you?
Mind if I take this off? I'm hot.
You always were my biggest fan.
Carpe diem.
Which is why I've decided to get married.
-To who?
-The former Mrs. Brackman.
Sheila?
Because my life is a mess right now,
I let you convince me to lie.
I'm going to the judge.
-He's got a g*n!
-[crowd clamoring]
[crowd screaming, clamoring]
[g*nsh*t]
[g*nsh*t]
[siren wailing]
Looks like another perfect day. I love L.A.
-Arnie
-
-
-Rox, I'm a new man, a little randy maybe.
-Arnie, there's
-
-
-Getting rid of the deadwood, huh?
Just make sure I get proper billing.
Arnie, you can't go in your office.
-Oh, not more water damage.
-I've called security.
Rox, I don't wanna tell you how to do your job,
but when the toilet upstairs gets plugged,
-call maintenance.
-Arnie, what I'm trying to say is...
the circus is back in town.
Rudolpho! The cape, the goatee
-
-
-Divorce becomes you.
-Prepare to die.
Listen, I'd love to talk, but I'm really jammed this morning.
-[Roxanne gasps]
-I'll fit you in.
I have lost everything.
-But you agree to the settlement.
-My life has no value.
My family name is dishonored. The Cirque de la Doña is in ruins.
Rudolpho. Rudy.
This is a common response to a painful situation.
What you're feeling is a diminished sense of self.
Call it a lack of security.
Oh!
-[latch clicks]
-Let's be reasonable.
Masha, open the trunk.
ARNIE: Wait a second, I think you're making a mistake.
In fact, I know you're making a mistake.
My only mistake was trusting you.
Hey, pal, I did my job. You're the one who found
your wife high
-wiring it with the trapeze act.
-Ciao.
-[Roxanne screams]
[gasps]
-Thank you.
-Well, I'm glad we all got that out of our system.
I know I feel better. No! No!
[gasps, panting]
This has gone far enough.
One Kn*fe remains.
-Rox, do something.
-Like what?
You have destroyed my manhood.
Now it is my turn to destroy yours.
For the love of God.
Rox, close the trunk.
Close the trunk!
♪♪ [theme]
Always good to start with a clean slate, Leland.
If you say so.
Leaner and meaner law machine.
A clear reflection of the times.
All well and good,
but perhaps we've been short
-sighted.
I can't help feeling we must be doing something wrong.
With all the comings and goings this past year, we
-
-
We should install a revolving door.
You were the one who showed Grace Van Owen the great white way out...
and agreed to pay for her move to New York.
Well, consider it Grace's going
-away present.
Then I never should have sent her the picture frame.
Who ate my bran muffin?
Unusual neckwear, Benny.
My Swiss cheese tie.
Oh? Where'd you get that? Wisconsin?
At the novelty shop. It's not real.
I was making a joke.
Oh.
We've made mistakes, Douglas.
Misjudged character.
Although, I admit I'm glad the firm no longer functions
in Susan Bloom's shadow.
Frankly, I'm gonna miss her.
She was a real cash cow for us.
-C.J. Lamb, on the other hand
-
-
-C.J.?
-Everyone loved her.
-But C.J. wasn't committed to the law.
If her heart's set on joining the professional golf tour, so be it.
Now, she'll get it both ways.
And hit from the red tees.
With so many changes around here,
I'm concerned concerned about morale.
Nonsense. This isn't about feelings.
It's about finance.
These are some of the highest
-paid professionals in town.
Stop babying them.
-Good morning.
-Let's get underway.
As you're well aware, the arduous task of restructuring
is almost complete.
What are you doing here?
-It's my idea.
-It's a bad one.
Gwen begins her internship under my supervision today.
There's no reason she shouldn't be observing.
-Uh, I'll
-
- I'll just go.
-Sit.
DOUGLAS: Normally, staff meetings are limited to partners and associates.
There are sensitive firm issues to discuss.
-Really, I'll just go.
-Stay.
Sit. Stay. What's next, fetch?
Douglas, I think Gwen should attend these meetings.
-Fine. Having wasted enough time
-
-
-ARNIE: Sorry I'm late.
-[man whistles]
-What happened?
You should get a new dry cleaner.
I am through with domestic litigation.
Divorce used to be fun,
but everybody's lost their sense of fair play.
Nowadays it's life and death.
And who's gonna pay for this suit?
-We will.
-We will?
You're damn right. Nobody in this room generates greater income
for McKenzie Brackman than yours truly.
-What is it you want?
-More. Better. Now.
-Could you be specific?
-Entertainment law.
Well, you're already handling Mr. Champion's wrongful termination suit.
A labor dispute. You threw me a bone.
-Where are we on that one?
-Jury's been empaneled.
Opening statements have been waived.
[fabric tears]
[stifled chuckling]
I have to change.
May we get down to business?
-Hold on, Douglas.
-Oh, the candidate has the floor.
Thank you. As most of you know,
I have decided to run for city council,
only I didn't take into account
the time that's needed.
I'd like to extend my leave of absence.
You're putting us in a difficult position.
We'll be fine, Jonathan. All the best.
Great. Thanks.
I'll save my good
-byes for the end of the day.
-As I was saying
-
-
-Douglas, I have some personal stuff of my own.
Zoey comes home from the hospital this afternoon.
-Great.
-Yeah, so I'm taking off a few days
to help her out just till she gets back on her feet.
I'd really appreciate your understanding on this one, folks.
And if you need me, I'm just a fax away.
Yeah, I have to finish the Seltzberger audit.
Oh, I've got the Littman deposition, Douglas.
Sorry.
Well, no use discussing our new partner.
Where is Morales anyway?
Is this a bad time to discuss res ipsa loquitur?
I believe I hear Ann Kelsey calling your name.
-So.
-So.
Leaner and meaner.
-Tom.
-Hey.
It's good news about Zo.
She's a lucky girl.
Luck's got nothing to do with it. She's tough.
She always had a high threshold for pain.
After all, she was married to me.
-You gonna take her home?
-To my place.
Tommy, I think I wanna come by and see her.
Sure. No one's stopping you. Just think it's a little late
for you to start insinuating yourself back in her life.
I mean, you barely visited Zo in the hospital
Yeah, well, I didn't want to complicate things after the breakup.
Always politically correct.
Just say high for me, and leave it at that, all right?
-Sure.
-Good. Thanks.
Benny, here's the address and change for the bus.
The Brackman's present is already paid for.
So if Mr. and Mrs. Brackman already got married,
how come they're getting married again?
Because they got divorced.
Then why are they getting married?
These are all really good questions, Benny.
But right now, I need you to go.
And come right back.
-Oh, sorry.
-Well, excuse me.
-Daniel, let me give you a hand there.
-Thank you, Stuart.
Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Hi! What's this little "bunkey's" name?
-That's Lucy.
-Oh, yeah?
Well, I love Lucy. [chuckles]
Hi, honey. What's the matter, huh?
Oh, she's got a full diaper and an empty stomach.
-Uh
-oh.
-And we lost her Elmo somewhere on PCH.
You lost your Elmo? Oh, no!
You wanna go into Daddy's office and share a bottle with me? What do you say?
This is a different world from my private practice up north, I'll tell ya.
-Where were you up north?
-Santa Barbara.
Arnie.
I was just up front. Mr. Champion's here, sort of.
Oh, thanks.
Did you hear about this morning's staff meeting?
I finally got their attention.
Good for you, Arnie. What about?
I am one step closer to becoming McKenzie Brackman's new entertainment honcho.
If that's what you want.
Hey, anything to stop my life from feeling like a cartoon.
-Arnie? Homer Simpson.
-How you doin'?
Mr. Champion, is that you inside there?
How's my favorite shyster?
[chuckles]
WOMAN [on TV]: We're broadcasting live from the Valley courthouse,
where four white police officers, charged with b*ating a black motorist
-
-
-[knocking on door]
-Come.
We go now to our reporter on the scene
-
-
Leland. still plugged into this trial, huh?
Been with it since first gavel.
Jury's about to deliver the verdict.
What an extraordinary exercise in justice.
Open
-and
-shut case.
Uh, Leland, I wanna thank you again
for supporting my city council bid.
The whole thing
-
- It's been a difficult decision,
and I'm aware it's bad timing for the firm.
A number of our colleagues have left us, Jonathan,
some not under the best of circumstances,
but I admire your commitment to the community.
MAN [on TV]: Find the defendant not guilty
of the crime of excessive use of force
under color of authority.
-Not guilty.
-This is wrong.
This is trouble.
In violation of Penal Code Section A,
not guilty.
Section , not guilty.
Penal Code ., not guilty.
How soon after the incident were you fired from the amusement park?
I refuse to answer on the grounds it might incriminate me.
Mr. Champion, I am trying to prepare you for what you'll be asked on the witness stand.
Familyland is a major Hollywood power.
They will try anything to undermine your credibility.
Figures. Another victim of an organization
that takes its best and brightest
and dims their bulbs!
[cries out]
-[crashing]
-Sorry.
I didn't know it was loaded. [chuckles]
We have work to do.
-Now, take off the head.
-Aha!
Another trick question.
I'm not allowed to take my head off in public.
That's why Familyland gave me the heave
-ho in the first place.
The fact is, there is
-
- there is still an injunction
against you wearing this costume at all
until this case is settled.
As your attorney, I can be held in contempt.
Uh
-oh! Gotta go!
Mr. Champion.
[sighs]
Last night I had to take a wizz three times.
But I was so tired, I only got out of bed twice.
Can I ask you a stupid question?
Only if you want a stupid answer.
Do you plan on wearing that clown suit in court?
You wearing yours?
The only way I can win this case
is to let the jury see the man inside.
No one cares about the man inside.
-I'm not finished.
-Neither am I.
Pass me the sports section.
-Mr. Champion, would you talk to me?
-[grunting]
If you show up dressed as Homer,
at best you've been uncooperative.
What is the problem?
I know you think I'm a goofball.
But the truth is, the best years of my life
have been spent playing Homer Simpson.
Do you know what it's like to have complete strangers,
small children, run up and hug you?
To see their faces light up with joy?
To be loved unconditionally?
No, I don't.
It's the greatest feeling in the world.
Don't let them take this away.
[sighs]
I'm aware we're not the closest friends.
Probably because we're partners.
You know what they say about business with pleasure.
If this is about my giving up my comfy new couch Susan's office, forget it.
You may remember, I'm getting remarried
to Shiela this afternoon at City Hall.
Love is more wonderful the second time around.
Right.
Well, what with being preoccupied
with the upheaval inside the firm,
I've been meaning to ask
-
-
and I know it's last minute
-
-
but could you
-
- that is
-
-
Will you be my best man?
Gee, Douglas, I'm really...
-Honored?
-Busy.
If you had given me more notice
-
-
I would have, if you'd been my first choice.
-Can't you get somebody else?
-Look, if you don't wanna help me out
-
-
-I didn't say I didn't want to do it.
-Great.
I'll leave all the details with your secretary.
Oh, and a celebratory magnum of champagne
would be in order, don't you think?
-Sure.
-I'll pick one up.
And, uh, if you have time for a trim, that wouldn't hurt.
You're looking a bit scruffy.
[door closes]
Should we take my car or yours?
Counselor, slow down. Let's go back inside.
Terry, it's important I do something.
Of course, its important you do something.
But the verdict was just delivered.
We don't know what the reaction will be.
-Sure, we do.
-Look.
My job as your campaign manager is to steer the course.
This is not the time for you to react emotionally.
People in South Central have seen decades of police brutality, Terry.
Civil rights violations, economic indifference
-
-
People down there have given up.
You don't wanna be perceived as one of the instigators.
And perception is everything.
Now you're catching on.
-[elevator bell chimes]
-[doors open]
Trust me.
Same old story.
They finally hire women litigators,
-as, what, a courtesy
-
-
-Mm
-hmm.
only to have the pendulum swing back the other way.
I heard we interviewed a lot of people.
-We?
-Mm
-hmm.
Big difference between the royal "we" at McKenzie Brackman
and the little "we" of all of its partners.
If this firm doesn't hire another female attorney, I'm going to.
[baby cries]
DANIEL: You're okay. You're okay.
Let's just move this stuff out of the way.
-[baby coos]
-Oh, my faux pas.
-Daniel, let me help.
-Oh, thanks, Ann.
Her diapers are buried in that suitcase someplace.
I need a shirt, too. I was burping Lucy.
Next thing I know, it's a milkshake to go.
Happened to me all the time with my son, Matthew.
Gwen Taylor, Danielle Morales,
our new criminal attorney.
-Hi.
-MORALES: Hi.
I studied the court transcripts
from the Welch m*rder case,
and your closing arguments were awesome.
I got lucky, but thank you.
-Any diapers?
-Yeah, here.
Okay.
-And how's this?
-Perfect.
I'd be glad to hold her for you while you get dressed.
That's okay. I'm set.
Yes, you are.
-Nice touch.
-Get comfortable while I dump this in the bedroom.
Oh, do you want some tea?
I bought a box of that no
-taste, stirrable crap that you like.
You know, you really don't have to take time off for me, Tommy.
Did you ever stop to consider I got my own laundry to sort through?
Who knows, maybe I'll start prosecuting again like you.
Be a mistake to leave McKenzie Brackman.
Thanks for the support.
Wind down. I'll put on the kettle.
Tommy, you promised.
No hovering, no mothering.
I'm a big girl.
You caught a b*llet in the chest
and barely survived.
-Where you going?
-Bathroom.
-Do I need permission?
-You just went.
I'm a big girl with a little girl's bladder.
[exhales]
[knocking on window]
-Oh, I'll see you at home.
-Where are you going?
Douglas asked me to be the best man at his wedding.
Do you think I need a haircut?
You're gonna be the best man at his wedding
knowing the way that they behaved at ours?
Well, come on. It's more like being a witness.
What was I going to say?
-How about no?
-Believe me, yes was easier.
Hey, don't you think I'd rather be home with you and Maddie?
Obviously not.
Um, why don't we finish this later?
-Okay.
-[Stuart sighs]
Mm
-hmm.
So, uh, how's it going with Gwen?
-Don't start.
-No, no.
I'm really glad that you've taken her under your wing.
That's all, nothing more, nothing less.
Great.
-Anne, I kissed the girl one time.
-Stuart
-
-
Two years ago. Don't you think there's a statute
of limitations on that?
Do you really have time to lecture me, Stuart?
No, I don't.
[door opens]
[door closes]
Mr. Reiniger,
how long have you been casting director at Familyland?
Four years this July.
I've cast a number of characters,
includingCaptain Squiggles,
Snurf 'n' Turf,
Dippy Duck,
andThe Simpsons,of course.
And once chosen,
are your employees
free to behave as they wish
when portraying these characters?
Oh, no. Familyland has strict guidelines
governing conduct during a performance.
But basically it's pretty simple.
Under no circumstances are they to break the illusion.
That's the number
-one rule.
And the reason for Mr. Champion's dismissal?
He broke that rule.
While dressed as Homer Simpson, Mr. Champion removed his head,
and in so doing, violated his character
and created hysteria for the children.
Objection. We're talking about a cartoon character.
Who's no less real to children than the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus.
We've received countless complaints,
been served with more than one lawsuit.
The effects of this may ripple through the entire season.
Objection. Speculative. No foundation.
Sustained. Jury will disregard.
Your Honor, I'd like to submit a videotape of the incident
taken by a Familyland visitor.
Objection. No authentication.
The photographer is prepared to testify, Your Honor.
I'll allow it. Bailiff?
[moaning]
Oh... Oh...
[groans]
[moans]
-[retches]
-[crowd groans]
[Champion vomits]
It's not my best side.
WOMAN [on TV]: Reports of crowds gathering in the downtown area.
What seems to have begun as loosely organized protests
against that not
-guilty verdict,
which was announced this afternoon,
has in some cases escalated
-
-
Is this the best champagne you carry?
We go now to our aerial reporter live from South Central.
Oh, trouble. Bad trouble.
DOUGLAS: Say, could you put this in a box?
Too close for comfort.
Listen, I'm running late. I appreciate you picking up the pace.
And while you're back there, a bow would be nice.
Forget the bow. I was way outta line.
-Leave now. Hurry.
-What the hell is
-
-
-Stop! I sh**t!
-[g*nsh*t]
-[crowd clamoring]
-[cash register bell dings]
[siren wails in distance]
I know my rights.
My name is Brackman, Douglas P. Esquire.
You got no identification.
Someone picked my pocket.
Another John Doe, number .
I wanna make a phone call.
You can't lock me up without due process.
L.A. is under siege. We're doing you a favor by locking you up.
I was on my way to get married.
Yeah, then we're doing you a big favor.
DOUGLAS: I wanna make a phone call!
OFFICER: Later. Maybe.
DOUGLAS: Hey, this is wet and sticky!
[helicopter passes overhead]
Mr. Champion, how long have you been employed at Familyland?
Nineteen years.
I started sweeping popcorn and candy wrappers.
And, uh, later I was promoted to churro concession,
then to supporting player in the Happy Avenue Parade.
Three years ago, I was selected to play Homer.
Nineteen years at the same place.
Must be more than a job.
It's an adventure. [chuckles]
ARNIE: Bailiff, could you give me a hand?
Now, while we're busy here,
would you please describe what happened
the day that you were terminated?
Sure. It was a Saturday.
It was hot. Real hot.
The park was chock
-full of people.
Anyway, my replacement didn't show,
so I had to do double duty performing for crowds
and ride lines.
Please, go on.
Well, I was sweating buckets.
It's like a sauna inside that costume.
All of a sudden, I started feeling dizzy and sick to my stomach.
I think it was the bad mayo in the employee tuna salad.
Objection. Mr. Champion is not an expert on food poisoning.
Sustained. Strike from the record.
So something you ate made you ill.
Yeah. The next thing I know,
I was facedown on the ground,
my head off, covered with vomit.
-ARNIE: You'd thrown up.
-Inside my head.
So you took the head off.
-I thought I was gonna suffocate.
-I see.
Your Honor, at this time, I'd like to conduct a demonstration
-
-
I renew my objection, Judge. It's prejudicial.
I have already overruled you on this, Miss Greenzaid.
ARNIE: Thank you, Your Honor.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
many of you are experiencing a loss of peripheral vision,
claustrophobia, a lack of ventilation and adequate hearing,
only part of the working conditions
under which Mr. Champion has to perform.
Add to this a
-pound suit
made of three
-quarter inch poly foam,
restricted mobility, hundred
-degree temperatures,
park visitors jostling for photographs, and extreme nausea.
To say you would be in discomfort is putting it mildly.
I'd say these circumstances are enough to cause anyone to...
pull off his head.
Ladies and gentlemen, you may do the same.
[jurors gasping, sighing]
MAN [on TV]:The looting, fires and g*nshots are filing in
at what seems to be an ever
-increasing number.
-What's the latest.
-Oh, worse.
Neighborhoods are being destroyed,
mini
-malls going up like kindling.
I can't watch any more. Is Lucy finally napping?
-Sorry about the noise.
-I have three brothers and a sister,
-I'm used to it.
-[circuit breaker powers down]
You picked some day for your wife to arrive.
Your wife must be worried.
My wife passed away last fall.
She suffered a stroke during Lucy's delivery
and never recovered.
I'm sorry.
I thought coming here would be a fresh start.
-[breaker powers up]
-WOMAN: There it is.
Looks like I won't be moving in tonight.
Better try and book a room someplace. Excuse me.
Mm
-hmm.
Jonathan, I'm a bit surprised to see you here.
I considered going down to the riot zone.
It is my district, but I changed my mind.
Why is that?
Nobody can change this.
Unfortunately, you may be right.
Then going down there probably isn't the most prudent action to take.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Truth is, I've been ineffectual as a councilman.
Everyone knows I live in Brentwood
and just have a post office box in South Central.
We're all feeling powerless.
I don't even know whose side I'm on.
Telephones are still out.
I've been trying to call the store and track down Benny.
Well, the one quality Benny does not lack is common sense.
-He'll be fine.
-It's my fault.
Nonsense. Who could have predicted this day?
Nostradamus.
Let's send everybody home.
MAN [on TV]: ...is one of utter chaos, as an angry mob
-
-
Looks like everybody out there is carrying a g*n.
-This is crazy.
-Shouldn't be too hard for a liberal guy like you
to understand people who get screwed over by the law turn to v*olence.
You're buying into mob mentality?
It's not a question of numbers.
I was sh*t by one guy who reacted the same way
-when his verdict came down.
-[TV clicks off]
-I was watching that.
-Come on, we're leaving.
-What?
-Come on
We'll drive up the coast, Carmel maybe,
until this insanity cools down.
I don't wanna drive up the coast.
Then we will go to the desert or the mountains.
-I don't care, anyplace but here.
-No.
Zoey, you're coming with me.
-Oh! Damn it! That hurt!
-I'm sorry.
Why do you always have to control me?
I said I'm sorry.
-Just stay away.
-Fine.
Okay.
I'm going home.
At least let me drive you. It's dangerous.
Who cares?
I know what it's like to be sh*t.
I know what it's like to be dead.
[helicopter passes overhead]
Mr. Champion, when you began playing Homer Simpson,
were you aware of the arduous conditions
under which you were to perform?
Sure. I'm not complaining. I love my job.
That's why I want it back.
This is the Familyland handbook governing character conduct.
-You've read it, haven't you?
-Yes.
And did you take a break every minutes as instructed?
-No.
-You're also instructed
to drink plenty of liquids
to guard against dizziness, dehydration and nausea.
-Yes, but my
-
-
-Did you drink liquids?
-But if I went
-
-
-Did you drink any liquids?
-No.
-And when you began feeling dizzy,
did you make any effort to get out of public view,
away from the crowds?
It happened so fast, I guess I went on autopilot.
The fact is, Mr. Champion,
you have a record of character misconduct.
Wearing your costume outside of the park.
To a children's hospital benefit.
Riding on the amusements with the visitors.
-Well, what's the harm?
-Arriving for work under the influence.
Well, that's a lie. I had a cold.
My prescription made me drowsy,
but I didn't want to disappoint the children.
Mr. Champion, I suggest that if you had followed company procedure
-
-
-Objection.
-...you never would have disappointed the children
-
-
-JUDGE: Miss Greenzaid.
-...by destroying Homer Simpson.
-JUDGE: Miss Greenzaid!
-ARNIE: Objection!
Withdrawn. Nothing further.
[horns honking]
[siren wailing in distance]
-[horn honks]
-MAN: What do you want me to do?
Come on, come on!
-[siren continues]
-[honking continues]
MAN: So go!
-It's over there, man.
-Come on, move it, move it.
Let's go.
-[overlapping shouts]
-Come on, man, hold up!
-[horn honks]
-MAN: Hey! What you doin' in the hood?
MAN : Yo! What do you think you're doin'?
-[men shouting]
-[objects landing]
-[shouting continues]
-[metal crashes]
MAN: Leave him alone!
WOMAN: Stop it!
WOMAN : Hit him! Hit him!
-Get him!
-WOMAN: Stop pit!
[woman screams]
[siren wailing]
Yeah, coming through.
Ann, how's Stuart?
He's still in surgery.
According to the doctors, he lost a lot of blood
and suffered a severe head trauma.
-Excuse me.
-I called a friend on the board here
for a referral.
-What happened?
-He was beaten.
They pulled him from his car, and they punched him and kicked him.
People just stood there and watched.
Where the hell were the police?
They seem to be avoiding confrontation all over the city.
After Stuart's heart att*ck, I promised to cherish our time together.
But I fell in the same pattern,
the same old behavior.
What is it that I'm always arguing about?
What if he doesn't live?
Why would somebody do this to such a gentle soul?
[whispering]
Mr. Becker, in light of the rioting,
the court would appreciate it if you would wrap this up as quickly as possible.
ARNIE: Certainly, Your Honor.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this case is about perception.
Let's also talk about reality.
Fifteen seconds of tape is hardly representative
of Mr. Champion's nineteen years of work at Familyland.
What occurred before that camcorder was turned on?
Or after it was turned off?
What didn't we see?
-What are we missing here?
-Your client.
Quickly responding to our request
that the National Guard be assigned here.
[doorbell chimes]
We gave a number of ,
-
-
[TV clicks off]
Hi.
Hi.
I remembered you like your egg rolls extra crispy.
What's going on, Zo?
I was sitting in my apartment
listening to the helicopters and the sirens
and the g*nshots.
And the more I listened, the more afraid I became.
And so I figured that the best way to combat my fears is
-to just live my normal life.
-[helicopter passing overhead]
-Hot mustard?
-I'm not hungry.
-I deserved to get sh*t.
-Oh, Zoey.
During the Meechum trial, I perjured myself on the witness stand.
I lied.
And I'm being punished.
[siren wails in distance]
[exhales]
There.
I said it.
Now I'm really hungry.
You know how people have those near
-death experiences?
[helicopter passes overhead]
And they describe seeing auras,
leaving their bodies, feeling all at peace?
It didn't happen to me.
And I was really disappointed.
Like I hadn't earned the privilege.
You wanna see my scar?
Yeah.
Let's go, gentlemen.
[overlapping police radio chatter]
[g*nshots in distance]
[siren wails in distance]
Sing us a song, Fender.
Excuse me?
Wearing a bad tux like that,
you must play in a band or be a mortician.
For your information, I was on my way to get married.
And you should floss.
You wanna be the bride or the groom?
I'll ignore that h*m* prattle.
[siren wails in distance]
I said...
do you wanna be the bride...
or the groom?
Listen, I appreciate a good joke as well as the next fella.
He'll be the groom.
Somebody start playing the organ,
because here comes the bride.
[kisses]
[grunts]
MAN: Whoa.
I'm supposed to be at the Bel
-Air Hotel
with my wife
having room service.
I love room service!
The next miscreant who so much as looks at me
is a dead man.
MAN [on TV]: Entire Los Angeles basin lies choked in a blanket of smoke
on this night of the worst civil unrest
-
-
-Leland?
-Daniel.
I'm surprised you're still here.
I was, uh
-
- I was hoping things would calm down
before going out with Lucy.
-Doesn't look like they will.
-...Los Angeles riots.
[news broadcast continues]
May I?
Sure.
Don't remember the last time I held a baby.
Your children must be out of the house by now.
Never had children.
It was the biggest regret or mistake...
of my life.
...checks and balances of a societal structure
are tonight being torn apart by hatred and terror.
Hatred and v*olence fueled by an arsenal of weaponry
which at this moment has out
-powered any attempts to
-
-
[TV clicks off]
I as assistant D.A. during the Watts riots.
I was young, fresh to the city.
Working in the jails, trying cases,
I witnessed racism firsthand.
I was outraged. Swore to make a difference.
[chuckles]
Well, nearly years have gone by,
and all that's changed is the view from my window.
-[sirens in distance]
-[fire truck horn honks]
I'm beginning to believe there's too much law
and not enough justice.
These days, most people would agree.
Yeah, but this isn't the way to respond.
Our legal system is what holds our society together.
Random v*olence, innocent victims,
that
-
- that's anarchy.
That accomplishes nothing.
I've watched the city burn once before.
I never thought I'd see it again.
When will we learn?
[helicopter passing]
-CHAMPION: You found me.
-Hell, I wasn't looking.
So what happened? Who won?
Your disappearance didn't help.
-Did they notice?
-Oh, they noticed.
I'm sorry I took off.
I just couldn't sit there any longer.
-I wanted to be someplace safe.
-Where is it?
Familyland.
Only, once I paid the admission
and walked inside the gate,
for the first time, things felt phony.
You can't sell happiness.
I know, people are desperate to escape the harsh reality
of their lives.
But life isn't about escape.
It's about facing the truth in yourself,
in building a better place, not tearing it down.
One man has to make a difference.
Eight fingers, one time.
Found it, my passport.
When the going gets tough, smart guys leave the country.
Oh, by the way, you won.
Back pay, damages, the whole show.
-[case snapping]
-[Champion giggling]
How can I ever repay you?
Cashier's check in full.
[as Homer Simpson] In your face, Familyland!
I hate L.A.
-[helicopter hovering overhead]
-[sirens wailing outside]
-Boo.
-[gasps]
Benny, where have you been?
Out. You sent me.
Here.
Yes, I know. But that was hours ago.
You should have called.
I was worried. Everyone was.
-Nobody knew where you were.
-You asked me to pick up Mr. Brackman's present.
Didn't you notice what was going on out there?
-But
-
-
-There is no excuse for you not calling.
How can you be trusted?
-If you're irresponsible?
-Roxanne? Roxanne?
-If you can't follow directions?
-Ask me about my tie.
-Benny!
-I finally figured it out.
-You're not listening.
-Ask me.
My tie, it's Swiss cheese.
What are you talking about?
Ask me. Say, "Where did you buy your tie?"
Okay. All right.
Benny, where did you buy your tie?
Wisconsin.
Cheese.
[chuckles]
Get it?
I get it.
[both laughing]
I'm glad you're safe.
If being pig
-headed is an electable quality.
You'll win by a landslide.
I just wanted to see for myself.
Not a lot of light to sh**t by.
Yeah, that's why God invented the strobe.
Okay take off your jacket and hand it to me.
And roll up your sleeves.
Get the sh*t.
[camera shutter snapping]
Everything's gone.
There's hardly a district left for you to represent.
Come on over here.
Here, follow us. Come on.
[helicopter passing overhead]
sh**t.
Good. Other side. Come on.
Hurry up.
Okay, man. Good. We're outta here.
-I'm staying.
-What?
Crazy.
Maybe.
But I'm still staying.
sh**t.
-Hey, hey! Look!
-Okay, fine.
Stay.
[sirens wailing outside]
[helicopter passing overhead]
[monitor beeping]
Mom?
♪♪
-[elevator bell chimes]
-[door opens]
♪♪ [theme]
07x01 - L.A. Lawless
Watch/Buy Amazon
High-powered law firm of McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney and Kuzak handles both criminal and civil cases, but the office politics and romance often distract them from the courtroom.
High-powered law firm of McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney and Kuzak handles both criminal and civil cases, but the office politics and romance often distract them from the courtroom.