08x09 - Rhyme and Punishment

[bunniefuu]

- Hey, how are you doing?

- Fine, thank you.

- Get all of your shopping done?

- Most of it.

How about you? - [chuckles] Nothing.

I'm going to be in the stores like every night

between now and Christmas.

[sighs]

- That's a pretty cross.

- Mm, thanks.

- Could I ask you a question?

- Mm-hmm.

- Do you wear it as a religious symbol?

- As opposed to what?

- The way it looks?

- I don't know.

I don't usually separate the two things.

- I was just curious.

- What are you curious about?

- Well, I guess I'm curious about whether or not

you're a religious person.

And I know that's none of my business.

- Well, it just so happens I am.

[clicking]

Wait, I'm not religious the way you are.

- That's all right.

- Is that all right?

- I don't mean to sound as if I'm judging you.

It's just sometimes I feel that people who wear

crosses, especially who wear ones like that,

it's just fashion.

They don't think about what it stands for.

- You know, Jane, I went to Catholic school for years.

I know about Jesus Christ.

I know about the Blessed Virgin.

I know all the stations of the cross

and all the sacraments and all about the lives of the

saints, OK?

And whether or not I still go to church, whether or not

I read the Bible or even own a Bible, and this is as much mine

to wear as it is yours.

- You're absolutely right.

[theme music]

- [SINGING] In the lane, snow is glistening.

A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight walking in a

winter wonderland.

Gone away is the bluebird.

Here to stay is a new bird.

He sings a love song as we go along walking

in a winter wonderland.

- Pincus versus Pincus

- We represent Nat Pincus.

I'm appearing with the permission of the court.

- Wait a minute.

You represent the Nat Pincus, the comedian?

- Right.

- You're kidding.

- What's the case?

- Nat's living with a woman who's about

years younger than him.

His son thinks she's taking undue financial advantage.

And he wants his father declared incompetent

to manage his assets.

- You see, everyone thinks a young woman could only

be with an older man for his money.

- The truth is, while I think this woman loves him,

I've had my doubts about how competent Nat is.

- That's no youngster.

- Does that correspond to his being incompetent, Douglas?

- Absolutely not.

- Move along.

- Ruskin versus Del Giotto.

- This is mine.

We represent Bernard Ruskin, a poetry publisher.

He owned a mailing list of people who buy poetry books

and attend poetry readings.

A former employee appropriated the list

and gave it to Mr. Del Giotto, to whom

he's currently employed.

- Is this likely to go to trial?

- We're very far apart, it may.

- Well, then why are you handling it?

- Because no one else is available.

It's certainly not because poetry is

something that appeals to me.

- Oh, I never thought that it did.

You just don't usually try cases.

- If I need help, I'll ask for it.

- You're a little defensive, aren't you, Douglas?

- Not at all.

I'm not at all defensive.

- I happen to love poetry.

- Do you really?

- Yeah.

Emily Dickinson, TS Eliot, Shakespeare's sonnets,

I love that stuff.

- Oh, I would like to remind everyone that for this

year's McKenzie-Brackman Christmas party,

we are committed to a major gala, a chance to show

off your renovations, eh?

- Maybe you can recite something, Douglas.

[laughter]

- This meeting is adjourned.

- What is your relationship to Nat Pincus?

- He's my father.

- How often do you see your father?

- I used to see him at least once a week.

That fell off to twice a month, then once a month.

And then he stopped wanting to see me at all.

- Was the diminution of visits with your father

related to any specific change in your father's life?

- It was related to Morgan Farrell coming

to live in my father's house.

- Would you describe for us what your understanding

of your father's relationship with Miss Farrell is?

- She's his mistress.

- And what was it about her moving into the house that

resulted in your not seeing your father

as often as you had before?

- I felt as though she was controlling my father.

I felt as though she was taking advantage of him.

I spoke my mind, I became unwelcome in their home.

- What specifically led you to believe

that Miss Farrell was taking advantage of your father?

- A week after she moved in, he bought her a new Jaguar.

Inside of the first two months, she

bought herself a Cartier watch.

Two months ago, he put the house in her name.

- Would you describe how Miss Farrell

behaved toward your father?

- She belittled him.

It seemed to me that he was frightened of her, that he

was desperate for her approval.

I felt then and I feel now that it is my duty as my father's

son to intervene.

- There are those who would say that you're after his money.

- I don't need his money. I have enough money.

- Then why not let it go, Mr. Pincus?

Why not just let your father live his own life?

- Because I love him, and I don't want to see him get hurt.

- I have nothing further.

- Mr. Pincus, you said that Miss Farrell belittled your father?

Could you tell us the kinds of things she did?

- She'd talk down to him.

She'd get impatient.

She'd interrupt him.

When you tell a joke, she'd hold up

fingers to let him know how many times he'd recently told it.

My father doesn't get quiet too often.

She could make him get quiet.

- She also encouraged him to perform again, didn't she?

- Yes, she did.

But my father didn't want to perform.

He-- he wanted to sit in kibbutz with his friends

at the Friars Club.

He wanted to play cards.

- Your father says otherwise, does he not?

- My father says otherwise.

- You don't believe him?

- My father is absolutely terrified about getting

on stage at this point in his life.

He is terrified about getting through a routine.

- Is it that he's terrified or that you're embarrassed?

- It's not like it used to be, Pop.

- Don't talk to me.

- Gentlemen, please let's not address each other directly.

- Isn't it a fact, Mr. Pincus, that you walked out

on your father when he was in the middle of performing

at a Friars Club roast?

- Objection, I think that's completely irrelevant.

- When I was years old, I sat under a table

at the nightclub of the Concorde to watch you perform.

I was embarrassed.

I was thrilled beyond belief.

But you always said that you would know when to stop.

You said you didn't want what happened to other comics

to happen to you.

It happened, Dad.

It happened.

And I got to tell you when to stop.

I got to protect you.

- What is the nature of your operation, Mr. Del Giotto?

- I'm a promoter.

- What do you promote?

- All these shows, rock concerts,

celebrity softball games, celebrity golf,

celebrity tennis--

we do it all.

- Including, of recent times, poetry readings?

- Right.

- You have an event coming up later this week, do you not?

- Yes, I do.

I have a major event scheduled.

- How did you go about advertising this event?

- I put a couple of ads in the paper,

and we have a few radio spots running.

- You also use direct mail, do you not?

- Yes, we do.

- That would suggest that you use a mailing list.

Is that correct?

- Right.

- How did you come into possession of that mailing

list, Mr Del Giotto?

- Well, uh, an individual who works for me compiled it.

- What was the name of that individual?

- Ira Mytelka.

- Isn't it a fact that Ira Mytelka compiled

that list while working for the Southern

California Poetry Society?

- I wouldn't know how to answer that.

- Where was Ira working when you approached him?

You would know the answer to that.

- Mr. Brackman, could you control your client, please?

- You represent everything I detest.

- Bernard--

- There's a vast untapped market in this country of people who

are bound by the love of verse, and I

intend to tap into that market.

- You're not entitled to tap into that market.

You have no credibility as a poet.

You have no credibility as a publisher.

- Meantime, I'm the one who's out there doing it.

And I'm the one who's getting them in the tent,

and I'm the one who's got Mamie Van

Doren coming in to read poetry.

So don't talk to me about credibility!

[panting]

[knocking]

- Hello, Tommy.

- Roxanne.

- Thanks for seeing me.

I know my phone call must have seemed out of the blue.

- Is everything OK?

- Oh, everything's fine.

- How's that baby?

- [chuckles] She's-- she's great.

David Meyer and I got remarried.

- Ah, yeah, I heard.

- David wants to adopt Casey.

In order for that to happen, we need for you

to surrender parental rights.

I assume that you'd have no objection to doing that.

- You know I've never even seen her.

- Well, she's right outside.

Do you want me to bring her in?

- Yeah.

- OK.

[infant cooing]

- I'd like to ease any potential awkwardness here

by saying that Roxanne has filled me in on the details

of your relationship.

And I just want you to know that the feeling I'm left with

is one of overwhelming gratitude.

- Hey, David.

- This is Casey.

- Oh, you did good, Rox.

She's so pretty.

Can I hold her for a minute?

- Ah.

- Hey.

Mm-mm-mm.

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

- Come on, sweetie.

Come on.

Yes.

- Can I have a little time to think about this?

- Do you need to think about it?

- Yeah.

- What do you consider to be a little time?

- I don't know, Roxanne.

- Well, we're leaving for Europe in less than two weeks, Tommy.

- I can't help that.

- Let's go, David.

[infant whimpering]

- Tell me what happened.

- What happened is that Tommy called me this morning

and said that he wasn't going to agree to the adoption.

- Can he do that?

- He's the biological father.

He does have his right where his child is concerned.

- You remember, Arnie.

He told me he had no faith in his ability to be a parent!

- Which in the court's eyes will certainly help your case.

- You think this will get to court?

- I think we should do everything we can

to avoid getting to that point.

- Well, what should we do?

- I think we should sit down, the four of us, discuss this.

Negotiate with Tommy.

Find out what he wants and how we

can possibly accommodate him.

- What if he still says no?

- Then we take him to court.

- Tell me something.

- What's that?

- I know I'm still new here.

The other day, Miss Halliday said something to me.

And I opened up my mouth to her.

Is that, like, out of line here or what?

- What'd you say?

- Well, she implied that this cross that I was wearing

was sacrilegious.

- Did she say that?

- Well, not in so many words.

But I know that's what she meant.

- What did you say?

- Well, I told her I was a good Catholic girl.

And that I didn't need religious instruction from her.

- Well, that doesn't sound all that out of line.

- Hm.

I know she's the lawyer, and I'm the secretary.

But, mm, so what?

- For what it's worth, I've never

found Jane to be particularly judgmental about stuff

like that.

- [scoffs] Really?

- She might have been just making conversation.

- Hm, I don't know.

- You were probably just thinking about all those times

the nuns chastised you.

- What makes you think the nuns ever chastised me, huh?

- In , you were hired by Bernard Ruskin

to work for the California Poetry Society.

Is that right?

- Yes.

- What exactly were you hired to do?

- General clerical work.

We published a number of poetry anthologies.

We sponsored poetry readings.

I was basically in charge of the paperwork.

- When did you leave your job at the California Poetry Society?

- I left in .

- And you left to go to work for Bobby Del Giotto.

Is that correct?

- Yes.

- It was you who furnished Mr. Del

Giotto with the mailing list.

- Yes, it was.

- Did you receive permission either express or implied

from Mr. Ruskin to do so?

- As far as I'm concerned, I didn't need his permission.

I compiled that mailing list.

I think that list was mine to do with as I pleased.

- I think you'll find the law says otherwise, Ira.

That list was my list.

Those people were my people.

- Mr. Mytelka, is it not correct that while you were

in the employ of Mr. Ruskin, Mr. Del

Giotto approached you and offered you more money

if you would go work for him?

- The money didn't matter to me.

Believe me, I didn't put in the kind of hours I did for Bernard

for the stinking $ a week.

- Why did you?

- Because he was supposed to publish a book of my poetry.

He was supposed to give me my own reading.

I worked for him for six years.

And the whole time, he kept stringing me along.

And he never did what he said he'd do!

- You weren't ready.

- I was ready, Bernard.

- I gave you over poems to choose from.

- I felt that you were derivative, Ira.

- You always say that!

How was I derivative?

- You aped the b*at poets and fell

prey to their worst excesses.

- I did not ape the b*at!

- Yes, you did!

At least let's not use this occasion to corrupt

our aesthetic judgment. - All right.

I've had it.

What's it going to take to settle this?

- What are you offering?

- Bobby, I'm not sure we have to offer anything.

- I don't care, Lanny.

- I got the expo starting tomorrow night.

I can't keep going around and around with this nonsense.

- Give us a figure.

- $,.

- What are you paying Mamie Van Doren?

- That's not your concern.

- I am not going to turn the sacred into the profane

for a few pieces of silver.

I have devoted myself to the veneration

of the poet, the true poet.

I am not about to reconcile with a man

who would propagate the masturbatory revelations

of sitcom actors.

Your poet expo has met the resolve

of a man who believes in the verities

of WH Auden and Ezra Pound.

And I intend to do everything within my power

to make sure that that grotesque event never takes place!

- What is your occupation, Mr. Tavelman?

- Personal management.

- Do you know Nat Pincus?

- For more than years.

- What is your relationship with him?

- I was his manager.

- You're speaking in the past tense.

Are you no longer his manager?

- That's right.

I am no longer his manager.

- What were the circumstances under which

you stopped being his manager?

- The circumstances were that he fired me.

- What was your understanding of the reason for that?

- Because I told him the truth.

He wants to buy her clothes, fine.

Jewelry, fine.

A car, also fine.

But I drew the line at putting the house in her name.

And I drew the line at letting her

make decisions about his life.

- Would you give your impression of Mr. Pincus's mental

condition over the last year?

- Objection, the witness isn't qualified

to respond to that question.

- Your Honor, it's not coming in as expert testimony.

It's coming in as the lay opinion

of someone who has seen Mr. Pincus at least once a week

for years.

- That doesn't qualify him to testify to a mental condition.

- Oh, the objection is overruled.

The witness can answer.

- Mr. Tavelman?

- His mental condition is that he's slipping.

He gets confused.

He says things, and then he forgets that he said them.

We would talk about finances.

We would talk about the girl.

We would talk about, uh, what we had for lunch.

Sometimes he could follow the conversation.

And sometimes he couldn't.

- Now, I would like to ask for an expert

opinion, Mr. Tavelman.

I'd like to ask what the condition

of Nat Pincus's finances are.

- They're the worst they've been in years.

He has less money in the bank and a greater tax liability

than he's had since the late 's.

- And what would you attribute this to?

- I attribute it to her and to the fact

that Nat can't say no to her.

- Objection.

- Sustained.

- I have nothing further.

- How did you feel about Nat's performing again, Mr. Tavelman?

- If I thought it was something that Nat wanted to do,

it would be one thing.

The only reason he's doing it is because Miss Farrell over there

wants him to.

She wants to be a producer, and he's her ticket.

- Ask the witness's remarked regarding what Morgan

Farrell wants be stricken.

- So stricken.

- It's a fact, is it not, sir, that in the last four years you

served-- at least nominally-- as Nat Pincus's manager, you got

him no bookings of any kind?

- He didn't want any bookings.

He didn't want to be working.

- You say that notwithstanding the fact that

soon after Miss Farrell began serving as his manager,

he was working.

- Yeah, he was working.

He was working for her.

- Mr. Tavelman, you said that you drew the line

at transferring the house.

You drew the line at Miss Farrell making decisions.

Was it really your job to draw the line?

- Exactly!

- Mr. Pincus.

- Hey, Junior, we go back to together.

Nobody ever told me what was or what wasn't my job.

- Is it possible, Mr. Tavelman, that you're

angry because somebody finally did?

- Oh, please.

I'm up here for only one reason, because I love this guy.

Nat, you're making an idiot of yourself.

And you're doing it over a broad.

- You should be so lucky, Jack.

You should be so lucky to have one like this.

- Mr. Pincus, you're wearing my patience.

- Excuse me, Judge.

It so happened I got this jacket at Sy Devore.

- I have no further questions, Your Honor.

- What I think we can accomplish here is talk

some things through, work out an arrangement

we can all live with.

- We are not unconcerned with your feelings in all this, Tom.

- No?

- Absolutely not.

It is a sensitive proposition.

And if we have been cavalier in any way

about what you are thinking or feeling, then we apologize.

I think that's a fair statement, don't you, Roxanne?

- We'd be very interested in hearing

what it is you are thinking.

- I have some concerns about my daughter's future.

And I think I'm within my rights to have them.

- No argument here.

- I don't consider her to be your daughter.

- Roxanne, let's try and be constructive.

- And let's address Tom's concerns

about Dave Meyer, father.

Will I be loving?

Answer, yes.

Will I be steadfast?

Answer, another yes.

- Forgive me.

I don't even know you.

What I know is that when Roxanne was

married to you the first time, she was utterly miserable.

- OK, that's fair.

I won't deny that Roxanne and I went through the blue period.

But the point I want to hammer home right now

is that things are different.

She is, if I may say so, Roxanne, not miserable now.

I love her and her daughter very much.

And there's nothing I want more than to take care of the both

of them.

- With all due respect, Dave, that's lip service.

You want something, you're saying what you

think you have to to get it.

But there is no indication that this marriage

is going to work out any better than the first one did.

- Who the hell do you think you are?

- Roxanne, wait a minute.

- [SHOUTING] Who the hell do you think you are to sit there

and-- and pass judgment on him, our marriage,

or anything else pertaining to my daughter's life?

- Roxanne-- - You walked away.

You walked away from me.

You walked away from the child you helped create.

Suddenly, you've got concerns?

Suddenly, you've got opinions about things?

Oh, I don't want to hear your opinions!

I don't want to hear your concerns.

As far as I can see, you have absolutely nothing

to say, not about me, not about my marriage, not about my kid!

I don't want you in her life.

I don't want you in my life!

We don't need you, Tommy!

We don't want you.

[somber music]

- Miss Farrell, would you describe for the court

the type of relationship you have with Mr. Pincus?

- Nat and I live together.

- Is it reasonable to assume then

that you're in a position to observe

him over the course of a day?

- Yes.

- In your opinion, is Mr. Pincus frail?

- No.

- Is he apt to become confused?

- No more so than I am.

- Would you describe the state of his health generally?

- He has some health problems.

His pressure will go up.

His arthritis will bother him.

He has to take it easy more now than in the past.

But I'll tell you something.

He's got all of his faculties.

- At the time you met him, wasn't that Pincus actively

performing as a comedian?

- No, he wasn't.

- Have you encouraged him to go back out on stage

as a comedian, Miss Farrell?

- Yes, I did.

- Did you pressure him to go back on stage?

- No, I did not.

Nat was performing his whole life.

He got back out on stage because he wanted to.

- It's been alleged that you wield a great deal

of influence over Nat Pincus.

How do you respond to that?

- I don't wield anything.

Nat loves me.

When you love somebody, you want to make them happy.

I think that goes both ways for us.

- I have no further questions, Your Honor.

- Is it your testimony, Miss Farrell,

that Nat Pincus is competent to manage his own affairs?

- Yes, it is.

- Did Nat pick out the Jaguar?

- He wanted to buy me a car.

I picked out the Jaguar.

- How about the Cartier watch?

- He wanted to buy me a gift.

We went shopping.

I told him what I liked.

- After about a month of living together,

you didn't have to tell him, did you?

- I don't know what that means.

- That means that you had Nat set up credit cards for you.

You had his checking accounts.

You were free to spend Nat's money any way you wanted,

weren't you?

- I wanted it that way.

I did it.

I wanted it that way.

- Mr. Pincus, that's enough.

- Your Honor, I would object to this whole line of questioning.

The issue here is competence, not

the relationship between Mr. Pincus and Miss Farrell.

- Your Honor, we would argue that the basis

for the relationship between these two people

is Mr. Pincus's competence or lack thereof.

We would argue that Miss Farrell has taken full advantage

of that lack of competence.

And I believe that we're entitled to demonstrate that.

- The court would agree.

The objection is overruled.

- Whose idea was it to put the house in your name,

Miss Farrell?

- It was Nat's.

He said it was better for taxes that way.

- Better for taxes?

Do you recall an incident that took

place in Nathanael's restaurant on the morning

of March , ?

- I know what you're referring to.

- While having breakfast there, you and Mr. Pincus

had an argument. Is that right?

- Yes.

- And you walked out of the restaurant,

leaving Mr. Pincus behind.

Did you not?

- Yes, I did.

- How did Mr. Pincus get home that day, Miss Farrell?

- He came home in a police car.

- Isn't what happened that Nat Pincus tried to reach you

on the phone, couldn't, wandered lost around Beverly Hills

until he was finally picked up by the police

because he was found sitting on someone's lawn

and crying at o'clock that night?

- He became disoriented!

We'd had a fight.

It wasn't because he's senile or he can't

decide things for himself.

Could have happened to anybody what happened to him.

I never should have left him there.

- Don't upset yourself, honey.

Don't upset yourself.

- Nat--

- Mr. Pincus--

- Don't pay attention to any of this.

What's going on here has nothing to do with you.

- We can't stop the expo from going forward, Bernard.

- And why is that?

- We don't have adequate grounds for an injunction.

- That sounds very general to me, Douglas.

Tell me specifically.

What grounds are we lacking?

- A showing of irreparable harm.

You can't get a temporary restraining order

without a showing of immediate and irreparable harm,

particularly when there's a third party involved--

in this case, those people who have

already bought the tickets.

- Well, I'm not sure I accept that thesis.

- I've had a lot of people working on this, Bernard.

I've researched this quite thoroughly.

- I must say, I'm disappointed.

- We're still proceeding with the lawsuit.

- Well, I would assume so.

- You know, I have to tell you something, Bernard.

- What's that?

- I've been reading a little poetry lately.

- Is that right?

- Last night, unable to sleep, I found myself thumbing

through a volume of Kipling.

"Though I've belted you and flayed you,

by the living God that made you, you're a better man than I am.

Gunga Din."

Pretty great, wouldn't you say?

- Great?

No.

- You don't think "Gunga Din's" a great poem?

- No, Douglas, I don't.

I think it's mawkish, sentimental,

hopelessly paternalistic reactionary doggerel.

You certainly have the right to enjoy it.

But rest assured, it doesn't even

faintly resemble a great poem.

- Nothing by Kipling?

- No, Douglas, nothing by Kipling.

- Mr. Pincus, a great deal is made of the fact

that you resumed performing.

I'd like you to tell the court why you did so.

- What should I do?

I'm a comedian.

Comedians perform.

- But you had stopped performing.

What was it that made you start again?

- She did.

She became my manager.

She became my agent.

All of a sudden, I had work.

Before she came into the picture,

most people thought I was dead.

Two old Jews run into one another on the street.

One looks at the other and says, was it you or your brother

who d*ed?

- Mr. Pincus, I appreciate the humor.

Nonetheless, if you could, I'd like

you to confine your remarks to answering the questions.

- It was apropos, Judge.

That's all.

- Mr. Pincus, do you read the paper?

- Everyday.

- Do you vote?

- Every election, twice.

- Are you taking any medication on a regular basis?

- Uh, my pressure, that's it.

- Are you prone to become disoriented or confused?

- Uh--

- Nat.

- It happened at one time after leaving Nate 'n Al's.

That's it.

I had the flu.

I wasn't feeling well.

I stepped out onto Beverly Drive.

I didn't know where I was.

- Mr. Pincus, I would like you to tell the court

whether you feel as though you can

still manage your own affairs.

- Yes, I can!

My son may not approve of what I do with my money,

he may not approve of who I choose to be friends with,

he may not approve of me being back on the stage,

last time I looked, I didn't need his approval.

- I've no further questions.

- Thank you.

- Is it your testimony, Mr. Pincus,

that you are in all respects capable of performing again?

- My dear, when they stop laughing,

I'll know it's time to call it quits.

- How about when you have to be escorted off the stage?

- You're talking about the Friars Club.

That's not what happened.

- Is it your testimony that you were

not escorted off the stage?

- It was a bet.

I worked it into the routine, you know?

- Was rambling incoherently for minutes on the stage

prior to that also a bet?

- Everybody's a critic.

- Mr. Pincus, that Friars Club appearance

was part of a larger effort.

Was it not?

- I don't know what means larger effort, huh?

- Was not Miss Farrell trying to produce a special

on old comedians for HBO or Showtime

or whoever she could sell it to?

- She's still going to.

- Isn't what happened, Mr. Pincus,

that Miss Farrell browbeat you into performing?

- Absolutely not.

- Did you or did you not tell your son

that Miss Farrell had threatened to leave

you if you did not perform?

- Absolutely not.

- Did you tell your son that she had promised to reward

you with oral sex if you did?

- Objection, Your Honor.

- I never would have repeated something like that.

- I have no further questions.

- Excuse me.

You're almost through?

- No, I'm going to be a while.

[knocks]

- Ann?

- Yeah?

- I'm going to do something that I thought I would mention

to you on the off chance that it might appeal

to you as something to do.

- What?

- Just because of what you said in the staff meeting,

vis a vis your appreciation of poetry, that's

why I thought I'd mention it.

- Mention what, Douglas?

You haven't mentioned anything.

- There's something called a poetry expo.

Given our client's pending action against the promoter,

I have to go.

I thought you might actually want to go.

That's the reason I mentioned it.

- I would love to go.

[guitar strumming]

- Goodbye time, goodbye lawn.

I'll not look you in the eye.

There's a round in East Texas.

And one of us must die.

[guitar strumming]

- I think we could probably move on.

- I can't help but feel as though this does represent

a corruption of some sort.

- I don't know, Douglas.

People enjoy this.

Who's to say what serious poetry and what's not?

- This is by Allen Ginsberg.

And the name of it is "Howl."

- I can't believe that Mamie Van Doren

is actually sitting there.

I was in love with her.

- You knew she was going to be here, right?

- But I didn't think she'd actually show.

- "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed

by madness, starving, hysterical, naked, dragging

themselves through the n*gro streets at dawn,

looking for an angry fix."

- When was it you were in love with her?

- I was a teenager.

Outside of a few relatives and some school teachers,

she may have been the first woman I ever had dreams about.

- "--of night.

[strumming]

I'm with you in Rockland.

In my dreams, you walk dripping from a sea journey

on the highway across America, in tears,

to the door of my cottage in the Western night."

[cheers]

Mamie Van Doren, ladies and gentlemen.

[applause]

A big hand, please.

Isn't she something?

OK.

There's both literature and business

opportunities on display here.

So if you're a fledgling Allen Ginsberg,

and you want to see yourself in print,

there's a number of very attractive and affordable

self-publishing packages you want to find out more about.

And for those of you who want to stick around here,

we have the avant garde poetry of Ira Mytelka.

[few clapping]

- And they had a reading--

- Excuse me.

Miss Van Doren? - Yes?

- I just want to say I've never forgotten you

from High School Confidential.

- Aren't you sweet?

- And I've never forgotten you from

Nuts in Search of a Bolt.

- [laughs] Well, thanks.

- And you know, I'd just like to invite you to our office

Christmas party.

- I'll try and make it.

- It'll be fun.

- I'm taking handfuls of Saint Joseph aspirin for children,

and I'm loving what it does to me--

the ratcheting, ratcheting, ratcheting.

It's still.

It's finally still.

- Look at yourself, Fievel.

Look what you've surrounded yourself with.

- Bernard.

- I thought you wanted to be taken seriously.

I thought that was the whole point.

- What I want is to be heard.

What I want is for my poems to be read and listened

to by people from all different walks of life,

not just by self-appointed arbiters

of what's worthy and serious and what's not.

I have no trouble whatsoever looking at myself, Bernard.

I'm up on a stage.

I'm reading my poetry.

And Mr. Del Giotto said he would get me published.

That right there makes me a lot better off

than I ever was with you.

Gregory Corso says, poets walk with kings.

And that's what I want.

I want to walk with kings.

- [non-english]

- What?

- Your reading was wonderful.

- Oh, oh, thank you.

I really appreciate you--

- Tommy, why don't you begin?

- Actually, I'd like to say something to Roxanne--

alone, if that's OK.

- OK.

- All right.

We'll be in my office.

- I'm listening.

- I made a lot of mistakes this past year.

I know that.

But when I looked into our baby's face,

seemed like a miracle that something so good

came out of all those mistakes.

I'm asking that you not shut me out of her life.

- What exactly do you want?

- I-- I want to read her bedtime stories,

help her with her homework.

I want to start a college fund.

I want to pay for her wedding.

It's too late for me to make it up to you.

But I got a chance to make it up to her.

I want her to know me, Roxanne.

I want her to love me not because I'm

her biological father but because I've been there

for her, because she'll know there

isn't anything in the world I care

about more than her happiness.

I-- I may not have the right to ask it of you, Rox.

But I'm asking anyway.

Let me be her father.

- All right.

What was so important that it couldn't wait?

- We have a proposal to make.

- What kind of proposal?

- We drop our lawsuit in return for you

applying your promotional efforts to Mr. Ruskin's work?

- What does that mean?

- Mr. Ruskin would like to enter into a joint venture,

whereby his poetry anthologies and journals are

marketed by you.

He's interested in you distributing a catalog

of spoken word records.

And he would like a booth at the poetry expo.

- Well, well--

- No doubt you'll view this as an occasion for gloating.

- I have to say that some amount of gloating

would be appropriate, wouldn't you?

- I assume you're curious as to the cause

of this change of heart.

- Hey, Bernard.

I know what caused it.

You came to the hotel last night.

You saw the scene.

You saw what I can do.

And you said to yourself, how can I be a part of this?

- What I said to myself was that there

were some projects where perhaps the two of us

could combine our talents.

- Like what?

- Like I was thinking of a Robert Lowell festival.

Also, is the sesquicentennial,

the th anniversary of Gerard Manley Hopkins' birth.

I thought perhaps we could do something surrounding that.

- Like what?

- Like what do you mean like what?

Like what you do.

Like make a-- a big event out of it, have cameras there,

and celebrities.

Like what-- I'm tired of the obscurity, all right?

I'm tired of the same few souls who meet in musty second floor

meeting rooms--

all of them poets, all of them academic smartasses

who don't make money and who don't meet women.

They're all just like me.

And I'm sick of them.

I want some action.

- After considering all of the testimony

and all of the evidence, one thing that I can safely say

is that this is not a case that can be resolved easily

or painlessly.

Possibly, it's a case that can't be resolved at all.

That notwithstanding, for our purposes, resolve that we must,

I'm not prepared to rule on Miss Farrell's motives

nor is it appropriate, I think, that I do so because only

she knows what's in her heart.

I will admit to having a great concern

for the welfare of Nat Pincus.

Nonetheless, the evidence is far from conclusive

that his decisions are not reasonable ones,

nor is it conclusive that he is being taken advantage

of, if that is in fact what someone close to him

is trying to do.

That said, I find the evidence insufficient to declare

Mr. Pincus incompetent to manage his own affairs.

However, should his condition worsen,

I will entertain a new motion.

In the meantime, the motion is denied.

- Congratulations, Nat.

- Love you.

- Dad.

I'm, uh, sorry for putting you through all of this.

- Tell her.

- It's OK.

- [SINGING] Deck the hall with boughs of holly.

Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la--

- Well, merry Christmas, Jonathan.

- --season to be jolly.

- Uh-uh, uh-uh.

Move along, Douglas.

- I loved your reading yesterday.

- Really?

What was it that you loved?

Me reading Allen Ginsberg or me wearing what I was wearing?

- [chuckles] It was both.

- [chuckles]

- Excuse me.

- Don't lie to me now, Douglas.

- Mamie, it so happens I love poetry.

- Do you?

- "Ship me somewhere east of Suez, where the best is

like the worst, where there aren't no Ten Commandments,

and a man can raise a thirst."

- "On the road to Mandalay, where the flyin-fishes play

and the dawn comes up like thunder,

outer China, across the Bay."

- You like Kipling.

- [exhales] I love Kipling.

- "For they're done with Danny Deever,

you can hear the quickstep play, the regiments in column.

And they're marching us away.

Ho!

The recruits are shaking.

And they'll want their beer today after hanging

Danny Deever in the morning."

[laughs]

- Oh.

- No one loves Kipling more than I do.

[laughter]

- Aren't you coming to the party?

- Yeah, I'm going to finish this up first.

I'll be right down.

- You know that poetry thing I went to yesterday?

- Mm-hmm.

- You will never believe what I dug up when I came home.

- What?

- I dug up a notebook of poetry that I wrote when I was

a sophomore at Mount Holyoke.

- You're kidding.

- That I would actually have sat down and written some of these,

is truly hard to imagine.

- I bet it is.

- Listen to this.

I want to give you an idea of my state of mind at the time.

Oh, rain, oh, driving, relentless, unconflicted rain,

everything I look at is gray and still--

all except for a ripe green pear.

Hi, little cat.

What sets me apart from you?

It must be that I'm sad.

- Wooh.

- What do you mean?

- I mean--

I mean, you're right.

It's pretty bad.

[laughs] Hi, little cat.

- I don't remember saying that I thought it was bad, Stuart.

- You did.

I thought-- when you came in, the whole point of it

was that it was bad.

I thought that was the whole point.

- Forget it.

I should realize that there are some things

I can't trust you with.

Obviously, my innermost thoughts are at the top of the list.

- [SINGING] Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?

- I have to tell you, Daniel.

I think that young woman architect did a superb job.

- You should tell her, Leland. - Oh, I will.

Is she here? - She couldn't make it.

- Leland, Daniel. - How'd it go?

- We're in all respects successful.

- Great. - Congratulations.

- Thank you.

I'd like you to meet Nat Pincus and Morgan Farrell.

Leland McKenzie and Daniel Morales.

- How do you do? - Hi.

- Stewie, I want you to meet Nat Pincus.

This is my cousin and colleague, Stuart Markowitz.

- Pincus. - Pleasure.

So there are two Jews who work here, huh?

- You know, I saw you many years ago at the Eden Roc Hotel

in Miami Beach. - Really?

- Yeah?

- What was I doing there?

- You were performing.

- Oh, I thought I was loitering.

[laughter]

- No, you were very funny actually.

- Thank you.

- Can I get you something?

- Uh, just a-- a cold drink, dear.

- I'll make you a plate.

Excuse me.

- Play your cards right--

- Do you, uh, know much about the direct mail game?

- Did I hear you say direct mail?

- Yes, sir, you did.

- Bobby Del Giotto.

I built an entire business on direct mail.

- Dave Meyer.

You know much about vertical markets?

- No, but I'd like to have you tell me.

- Freshen up his punch, would you, son?

- So you're asking me what I'm doing for New Year's Eve?

- Yeah, I'm asking.

- Isn't it a little late to be, you know, looking for a date?

- [laughs] No-- no, I'm thinking of having a party.

I'm going to have some friends over

and have a little champagne, some dancing on the patio.

- Oh.

- So are you interested?

- Yeah, maybe.

- Good.

- Uh, Jonathan, there's a client or somebody looking for you.

- Oh!

Gee, gee. so I'll call you-- - All right.

- --about the details. - All right.

- All right.

- You haven't seen Ann through here?

- Yeah, I think she went that way.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Thanks.

Hi.

- Hi.

Hello, Denise.

- Hey.

- I wanted to say something to you.

- All right.

- Religious faith is a very personal thing.

I know that.

And if I made you uncomfortable or somehow suggested

that I was a better person than you,

I want to apologize for that.

The last thing I wanted to do was to judge you.

- [chuckles] Yeah, maybe I did make too big of a deal of it.

I guess I jumped to the wrong conclusion, huh?

- I, um, got you a Christmas present.

- Really?

You didn't have to do that.

- And I hope you will take it in the spirit in which it's given.

- Oh, should I open it now?

I mean, we're not going to be spending Christmas morning

together so-- - Sure.

- Yeah?

All right.

I love getting presents.

- [SINGING] And a happy New Year.

We wish you a merry Christmas.

- [exhales] Bible.

- I didn't know whether or not you had one.

And-- and I wanted to give you one.

- It's beautiful.

Thank you.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas to you.

- What do you think of the renovation?

- Oh, I love it.

I think it's great.

- My office is next.

- Yeah.

- [SINGING] Let Earth receive her king.

- OK.

- OK?

- Let's talk in here.

- [SINGING] And heaven and nature sing.

And heaven and nature sing.

And heaven and nature sing.

- You want to be her father?

- Yes.

- OK.

- Really?

- You left me, Tommy.

And I was hurt.

I was angry.

I thought that if David adopted Casey,

it would somehow change the way she came into the world.

I can't do that.

I can't change the fact that I came to you

and asked you to father my child.

- I don't know what to say.

But I can promise you I will never walk away from her again.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Roxanne.

- Merry Christmas.

- A guy goes into a bar, orders a scotch.

He says, don't tell me what kind.

Bartender pours, takes a sip.

He said, Dewar's.

He says, give me another brand.

Bartender pours.

He says--

- Cutty Sark.

- Dear, are we doing a two?

- Sorry.

[laughter]

- Bartender is getting sick of this,

goes outside, comes back with a plain bottle, pours.

Guy takes the drink.

He says, my god, this is urine.

He says, yeah.

But whose?

[laughter]

- That's good.

That's good.

- OK.

Guy's bragging about his hearing aid,

says, this is the greatest hearing aid you can buy.

I spent $, on this hearing aid.

Friend says to him--

[mumbling] he says to him, uh--

[sighs] what-- what kind is it?

He says half past :.

[laughter]

See, only Henny could do that joke.

- It's Henny's joke, honey.

- Guy goes home to his wife, and he

finds in his bed his partner.

[sighs] The, uh, guy goes into the kitchen.

And he says-- goes into the kitchen, and he, uh--

the wife says-- she says--

- Can I finish it, honey?

Come on, let me finish it, OK?

So the wife says, um, what are you doing

standing here drinking coffee?

And she says, what about your partner?

And he says, let him get his own coffee.

[quiet laughter]

Are you ready to go, Nat?

- [WHISPERING] Yeah, let's go.

- Bye, everybody.

- Bye.

- Happy holidays.

- Thank you.

- [SINGING] Gloria in excelsis Deo.

Gloria in excelsis Deo.

[theme music]

[music playing]