02x01 - Episode 1

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Tourist". Aired: January 1, 2022 -present.*
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A man wakes up in the Australian outback with no memory, he must use the few clues he has to discover his identity before his past catches up with him.
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02x01 - Episode 1

Post by bunniefuu »

MAN: I don't remember anything.

Here to take a statement.

- Helen.
- You remembered my name?

I bet you can't remember
mine, though, huh?

I keep wondering if anyone's
out there missing me,

parents waiting for me to call, or... ?

Helen has gone full Florence Nightingale

for this amnesia bloke.

Next time you're down, think of that.

I'll just send you
an emoji of a burrito,

and from that moment on, you'll
know that everything will be OK.

I'm a bad guy, Helen. That's
why people want me dead.

[g*nsh*t]

You're Lena? Christ!
I've been looking for you!

I'm so sorry.

We don't know why I
was working for Kostas.

We don't know why I met Lena...

You do something like that,

there is no reason on Earth
that ever makes that OK.

You're my only friend in
the whole wide world, right?

I just don't understand how the same guy

who could do something so
awful could also save my life.

You don't know me.

I am not the same person that I
was before I met Elliot Stanley.

[TRAIN APPROACHING]

[WHISPERED VOICES, GIGGLES]

- Hello.
- Hello.

Who that?

Uh, yeah. That's, um...
That's my girlfriend.

That's Helen. Say hi, Helen.

Hello.

You smoke marijuana, huh?

We don't even know what that is, it's...

God, no. What... ? What is it?

- What this, then?
- That's, um...

That's a lighter, that's what that is.

"Vietnamese and gay."

You know how offensive this is?

- We do.
- I not Vietnamese. I not gay.

This... really offensive.

Maybe it's like...

It's like owning it. You know, like...

Like the lighter is excited...

... that it's Vietnamese and gay.

- Thanks.
- No smoking.

- OK?
- HELEN: No, absolutely not.

No, totally.

Why you got such long... beard?

[HELEN STIFLES A LAUGH]

I'm going to go now.

[HELEN LAUGHING]

- Where were we?
- Where were we?

What?

Just, what if he comes back in?

Fine.

Er...

Yeah.

He really didn't like my beard.
You like it though, right?

- Mm-hm.
- OK.

- Mm-hm.
- OK.

I'll shave it off when we get
to Cambodia, how about that?

Oh.

This is nice.

You know, just the here and now.

You know, like...

Like nothing can touch us.

Are you... like really...

really 100% sure about that?

Why are you being weird?

I've been waiting for the
right moment and, I don't know,

I think this might be it.

The right moment for what?

I've been wanting to give you this.

It was mailed to the police station

while you were in hospital,
recovering from... you know.

That's why I've held
onto it for so long.

- You were in a bad place and...
- That's me.

Yeah.

And this... This Tommy, he knows me?

Yeah, from Ireland.

Maybe it's time you find
out who you really are.

Ah!

HELEN: Mm.

- [SIGHS DEEPLY]
- You OK, babe?

- Maybe we should just go.
- We can't.

It's been an hour already.

- What?
- There's someone coming,

Hello.

- Morning.
- Oh, OK.

- [HELEN LAUGHS] Oh, God!
- What?

- You thought it was him?
- Tommy?

Yeah, well, it could have been him.

Hey.

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

Whatever happens...

It's probably worth
getting rid of the beard

because whoever shows up, you
want them to recognise you,

right?

- What, now?
- Oh, right now.

- OK. I'll get rid of it.
- Really?

- Mm-hm.
- Oh, at last! Thank you.

Oh. Hello.

I like your bat and your ball.

Are you... ? Are your parents around?

[RAZOR BUZZING]

[OFF]

sh*t!

Who are you? What do you want?

[MUFFLED YELLS]

WOMAN: You! Come here,
you little sh*thole.

You staring at feckin'
women again, are you?

[WOMAN CONTINUES SCOLDING]

Elliot?

OK, I'm coming in.

- [GLASS CRUNCHES]
- What the... ?

[MUSIC: "DON'T GET ME WRONG" BY
THE PRETENDERS PLAYING LOUDLY]

[MUSIC CONTINUING]

[TYRES SCREECH]

♪ Don't get me wrong... ♪

Agh! f*ck!

[GROANS]

[MUSIC CONTINUING]

[GROANING]

[ROARS]

[GLASS SHATTERING]

For f*ck's sake!

f*ck's sake! f*ck!

- f*ck! f*ck!
- [ENGINE REVVING]

- [ENGINE GRATING]
- Bollocks!

sh*t!

sh*t!

[GROANING]

Jesus, f*ck!

[GROANS]

[CRYING]

[WATER DRIPPING]

- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- [OUTSIDE] Detective Slater?

[CRYING QUIETLY]

Yeah?

This is he. Him, me.

[OUTSIDE] An Australian
lady arrived into the country

talking about a possible
abduction, Scláta Café.

[SNIFFLING] OK, sure. I'll be right out.

Okey-doke.

[PLOP]

[GAGGING]

What? Come on.

[MUSIC: "DON'T GET
ME WRONG" APPROACHING]

I don't f*cking believe this.

f*ck!

[MUSIC STOPS]

[GROANING]

Who are you? Did you work for Kosta?

Why would we work for Costa?

He's the only person I
knew who'd want me dead.

Why would a coffee shop want you dead?

Tell me what I've done to you.

Never fear, the Garda
are here! [CHUCKLES]

- Madam.
- G'day.

Ah, yes. You've just
arrived from down underneath.

We are the Garda.

The guards of the...
Guardians of the peace, really,

but police you'd call us
in Australian, I suppose.

Detective Sergeant Ruairi
Slater at your service.

Helen Chambers.

So, who are we looking for?

I hear somebody's gone missing, is it?

Yeah.

- It's my boyfriend, Elliot.
- Boyfriend. Right.

HELEN: Yeah, um...

[VOICE SHAKY] We were
supposed to be meeting someone.

Right. Who were you meeting?

We... We don't really
know him, is the thing.

My boyfriend, Elliot,
he lost his memory.

Then a while back,

we received a message
from a fella called Tommy

who said that he was his best
friend from back in the day.

- We rolled the dice, you know.
- Right.

It seems to me that maybe this
Tommy wasn't who he said he was.

A setup, in that it wasn't
Tommy that sent you that message.

No, I know. That's...
That's why I'm telling you.

Crackers! Look, back in
Australia there were some...

bad people who were after him.

Wherever he is, I just
think that he's in trouble.

Listen, I understand...

You should really come and take
a look at the scene, OK? It's...

It's right here.

So, he came in here to shave.

Jesus! Must have been some beard, eh?

And his bag is still here
and the mirror smashed.

And the people who took him

must have come through
this back door here.

So, the car would have been parked here.

A van, maybe, if you
look at the tyre marks.

And they must have gone this way.

Come on!

The longer we take, the less
chance we have of finding them.

Yeah.

[GROANING]

[INSECTS BUZZING]

[DRIPPING]

- [BANGING]
- Let me out!

Whatever it is I've
done to you, I, um...

I probably deserve it.

I've done some f*cking bad things, so...

- [BANGING]
- Just tell me what you want!

[SQUELCHING]

Ugh.

[STATIC CRACKLING]

[STATIC CRACKLING]

MAN: Are you having fun yet?

Are you f*cking... ? Who is this?

Who are you?

I'm the last voice you'll ever hear.

So, these fellas who were after
your boyfriend in Australia.

Why? What'd he do?

Like I said, it's a long story.

We'd been fine travelling
around wherever the wind took us,

but no, I had to go and
stick my big nose in it.

Your nose is just fine there,
Helen. You've a great nose.

It's my fault we came here.

And now he's gone.

- Hey, listen, I'm sure...
- Over there.

- Don't touch anything, that...
- It's blood.

- Crackers.
- Hey, listen to me.

We will find your man, OK?

- We'll find him.
- [DIALS PHONE]

Guardians of the peace, right?

Right you are.

Yeah.

Hi, it's Detective Sergeant Slater...

[PHONE CHIMES]

[CHIMING]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

- Hello?
- Helen.

- It's me. It's...
- Ethan?

It's been a minute. Right, shortbread?

Um... Why are you calling me?

Well, the way we left things, Hel,

it, um... It left its mark on me.

- You know, you told me to...
- No, I remember.

... go and f*ck myself with
something big and plastic.

Honestly, it was a wake-up
call. It was my road to Damascus.

It was the road that led me here.

Not Damascus. I realise as I
say it that sounds confusing.

I'm at the Coal Harbour
Community Centre.

- Look, Ethan...
- I'm delivering my Ned Talk

on toxic masculinity.

- Your what?
- My Ned talk.

It's like a TED Talk,

but it's a bit more under the
radar, but that will change...

No, I mean,

are there other people
listening to this conversation?

Absolutely, yeah. It's
part of the process, Hel.

I realise now how my
behaviour affected you.

The gaslighting.

The marginalising. I
want to make amends.


I want to show you that I've ch...

[BEEPING]

- Yeah, she's hung up.
- f*cking women, eh?

OK, that's really not
the spirit here, Colin.

[DOOR SLAMS]

OK!

DNA isn't back yet on our bottle.

[WHISPERING] But there has been like

a sort of a development, shall we say.

Well, any chance you could
be a bit more specific?

"Development" can mean a lot of
things. Is it good, is it bad?

I haven't spoken to her meself,
so you'll know when I do, OK?

"Her"?

WOMAN: With respect, Detective Slater,

it's your boss I came to speak with.

Superintendent Hanlon's at a conference,

but this is my case and you're
in good hands with my hands.

I know Superintendent Hanlon.
I don't know you, so...

Hi.

- Who are you?
- Helen.

The boss is back next
week, but I'm here now

and the fellows at front desk
said this was urgent, so...

OK, then.

I got sent this, out of the blue.

- Is it really him?
- HELEN: That's him!

Who sent this to you?

Who are you?

I'm his mother.

MAN: Ready for round two?

What is this? What do you want?

You can leave this room. It's up to you.

You can come right through this hatch.

But the only way you'll fit through

is if you cut off both your legs.

f*cking what?

Cut them off.

You want me to cut off both my legs?

- Yes.
- With this?

- Yes.
- Er...

Or what?

Like, what if I... ?

What if I don't want to hack off
my legs because you told me to?

Hello?

- [CRACKLING]
- For f*ck's sake.

Hello? Can you hear me?

Wrong choice.

Boom!

Jesus! Jesus Christ!

[LAUGHTER]

You can stop pissing yourself now.

- Here, catch.
- f*ck!

- WOMAN: Stop pissing about.
- Not allowed a bit of fun?

- Why don't you go f*ck a horse?
- f*cked your daddy last night.

- We have the same daddy.
- Forget I said that.

Who are you?

You really don't remember
your old pal, Donal?

I had an accident and
my memory's a mess.

Well, isn't that a real
f*cking stroke of luck for you?

Do you mind just... ?

- [CLICKING]
- Ow.

Sorry.

[CLICKING]

Come on.

[INDISTINCT TV COMMENTARY]

Take a seat.

Thanks.

It's fine.

What?

So, the name McDonnell
means nothing to you?

No.

Yous are the McDonnells, I take it?

On account of the old
sleeping with your daddy there?

You little sh*t!

- [GULLS CRYING]
- [ELLIOT SPLUTTERING]

It must be weird. You
don't remember anything?

Like your family or where you're from?

- I really don't.
- Hey, Fergal.

You want a date, get on the apps.

This fella's about to get
a different kind of f*cked.

So, what is it that you
actually want from me?

Apart from the being
f*cked differently thing,

which I'm excited about.

Like, if I've done something
to all of you, I'm sorry.

OK?

I meant what I say, I
don't remember anything.

You've done plenty. Whether
you f*cking remember it or not.

So, er...

keep your mouth shut.

Or Donal, he'll shut it for you.

Hang on a sec, he's called Donal?

So his name's Donal McDonnell.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHING] It's like if I
was called Elliot McElliot.

This is only the beginning.

RUAIRI: Thank you
very much, Mrs Cassidy.

Oh, hey, I, um...

I was just...

- Uh...
- Just what?

OK, I... I was waiting for you.

I just thought that you might
want to talk about your son?

[GULLS CALLING]

HELEN: So, you really
have no idea where he is?

- Or who might have taken him?
- MRS CASSIDY: I really don't.

He was 27 years old
the last time I saw him.

His dad was in hospital.

I haven't seen him in seven years,

since he upped and left
without so much as a word.

- Why did he leave?
- Hard to say.

It's not like he left a note.

I sound like a tragic old woman.

But I have to ask.

Did he come here to see me?

HELEN: Um... [CLEARS THROAT]

I wish I didn't have
to tell you this, but...

Well, the truth is,
Elliot lost his memory.

He was in a car crash a year back.

I'm sorry.

So...

He doesn't even... remember me?

His head's a ghost town.

[MUSIC: "SWAN THEME"
FROM SWAN LAKE PLAYS]

Oh.

- Oh, my.
- What?

This song.

I remember him dancing to this
when he was just nine years old.

Dancing?

Oh, yes.

When he wasn't in the
bollocks, he loved his dancing.

Proper ballet stuff.

The other kids would take the
mick but he'd just laugh it off.

He so loved to dance, my boy.

He might come home from school

with a black eye and a
letter from the headmaster,

but when you watched
him do an arabesque,

it was hard to stay angry for long.

Elliot did ballet?

Concert standard.

Wow!

I take it he hasn't kept up
with the dancing and that?

No. No, I... I can't say that he has.

[PHONE RINGING]

Excuse me.

Helen Chambers.

Ah. Knickers!

Uh... Yeah, no, thanks
for letting me know.

OK.

Um...

DNA on the whiskey bottle

matched the clothing they
found in Elliot's bag.

It's his, so...

It's useless.

Whiskey bottle?

Uh... Yeah.

Sorry, we found a whole bunch
of whiskey bottles at the scene.

- Can I see?
- Yeah.

What is it?

Nothing.

Just...

miles away.

It's been an absolute pleasure,
Helen, but I have to go.

- Oh.
- I will see you again.

Hopefully, in happier circumstances.

Yeah, of course. But maybe
I could get your... number?

[DOOR CLOSES]

[BIRDSONG, VEHICLE APPROACHING]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

[CENTRAL LOCKING BEEPS]

- I'm home!
- [TV ON]

[TV LOUDER]

Quite the day today, Ma.

[KISS]

I, er...

Got you some apples.

Didn't have any Golden Delicious,

so I got you some Pink Ladies, huh?

Do you know, Pink Ladies were
bred by this lad, John Cripps,

where he crossed a Golden Delicious

with an apple called a Lady Williams.

So...

There's some Golden Delicious
in there for you, too. [CHUCKLES]

It's buried in there somewhere, Ma.

Like yourself.

Right...

[TURNS KEY]

[WHISTLING A TUNE]

[RADIO ON]

[CHANGING RADIO STATION]

[ROMANTIC SWING MUSIC]

I, er...

Got your pork and beans.

Your favourite, right? Yeah?

You never can go wrong
with pork and beans.

[CHUCKLES]

Might keep you up at night, mind,

what the gas and the reflux and whatnot.

You will eat, won't you?

Don't want you wasting away.

ETHAN: Love.

It's the greatest gift we can give

and the greatest gift we can receive.

You've probably never known
it. Very few do, but I have.

Helen and I shared a unique bond

and that's why she hung up on me.

If she had just accepted my
sincere livestream apology,

then that would be that,
but by closing the door,

she has, in fact, left it open.

What she's telling me

when she hangs up on me
mid-Ned Talk like that

is, "Ethan, you need to
try harder." And I hear her.

I spent a lot of time working on myself

and I'm open now, more
than I've ever been.

She's letting me know
that I need to go further.

Not just apologise for the man
that I was, but to show her,

and I'm here, I'm listening.

Ready to strike.

And I happen to know

that she's currently in
the fair isle of Ireland.

So, guess who has two thumbs

and has booked the next
flight to Ireland that he can?

- This guy.
- So, uh... my friends are here.

- I'm just gonna...
- No worries.

Thanks for letting me
bend your ear, Chad.

- It's Mike.
- ETHAN: ♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪

♪ The pipes are calling... ♪

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

DRIVER: Are you getting out or... ?

What's the deal here?

Um...

I think maybe I should
just go to my hotel.

Thanks.

- Thanks.
- Thank you.

If you need a taxi again.

Thanks.

- And you're checking in?
- Yeah.

Chambers. Helen Chambers.

Ah, got you right here.
Two of you, four nights?

It's just me, actually, for the moment.

[BEEP]

[CRYING]

DONAL: Hey, wake up.

So, you really don't remember anything?

Elliot.

I really, really don't.
If I did, I'd say.

Maybe it's a good thing
you don't remember anything.

Means you can't remember Tamar.

- Excuse me?
- Tamar.

Yeah, is that like a person, place,

f*cking boy band we started together?

You know when I said I
don't remember anything?

That's literally what I mean.

Good. You get to relive the pain.

Are you starting your
own podcast or something?

Would you get to the f*cking
point and tell me what I did?

You still got the same f*cking
mouth on you, don't you?

Little knock to the head
doesn't wipe the sight clean.

Doesn't change what you did.

Enough of the cryptic sh*t, OK?

Whatever it is you have to tell me

it's not worse than
what I've already heard.

So get to the f*cking point.

- WOMAN: Calm down.
- I don't think I will.

I think I'm just gonna blow
this little prick's brain out

- and be done with it.
- That wasn't the deal.

I don't give a sh*t about the deal.

You give a sh*t about
Frank, at least? Hm?

You've been drinking all night.

Put the g*n down. Go for a walk.

If you still want to sh**t
him when you've sobered up,

I'll f*cking help you now.

f*ck.

Thank you.

f*ck yourself!

Wow. That's nice[!]

[DOOR LOCKS]

[WAVES ROLLING, GULLS CRYING]

I could use a drink.

Please.

I can't.

- No funny business.
- There's three of you.

I'm not stupid.

- [SNAP]
- [ELLIOT SIGHS]

Out in front.

Thanks.

Oh! Holy sh*t!

- Yous make this yourselves.
- Family recipe.

Sort of grows on you.

Yeah, that it does.

It's hot in here.

Could be my imagination, but...

... you don't seem to hate
me as much as the others.

Perhaps maybe

you don't like seeing people
k*lled in front of you?

Doesn't make you weak, Fergal.

Just makes you a normal
f*cking human being.

You had your drink.

Hello, Briain.

You remember me, don't you?

What the living f*ck are you doing here?

Taking the air.

Just me.

You got yourself a big
set of balls on you there,

- I'll give you that.
- I want to know where he is.

Who?

Don't play dumb, Briain.

At least, not dumber
than you already are.

[LAUGHS]

Your cousins have my son.

You know why and you know where.

Say that I did.

Why the f*ck would I
tell you, of all people?

I'd piss off now if I were you,

before you fall and hurt yourself.

I knew you wouldn't tell me anything.

Even the village idiot isn't so stupid

they'd rat on their own family.

Then why are you here?

'Cos I'd like you to send
a message to your cousins.

And what's that?

[TV ON]

I left me damn phone
down here all night.

Forget me bloody head
if it wasn't screwed on.

I should really get one of those...

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

My love, are you OK?

I'm so sorry. I didn't realise.
I didn't realise. I didn't.

[CRYING] I didn't realise.

[SOBBING]

OK, come on.

[GULLS CRYING]

FERGAL: Want a game?

I'll play.

How about winner gets to walk
out of here, no harm done?

- Shut up!
- For how long?

How long am I gonna sit here
without anyone telling me why?

- Hey. You feeling better?
- I am.

Got out, had a lung full of
fresh air. You were right.

Clears the mind.

Get my head straight.
Need to think it through.

- And I'm still gonna k*ll him.
- Jesus!

Look out!

- No!
- Help me! Agh!

- Donal!
- Put it out! Put it out!

FERGAL: Is he OK?

f*ck!

- DONAL: Go and find the fucker!
- He's not going nowhere.

You, on the other hand,
need that looking at.

[PHONE RINGING]

Take it.

[GROANING]

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, we got him.

Yeah, not at the moment,
the bastard got away...

There's nowhere for him to go.

So, here we are, the Comfort Plus seat.

And the key to maximising
your miles is on my blog.

I'll keep you updated
throughout the flight,

let you know if the meal
service is up to scratch.

Fingers crossed for short rib. OK.

WOMAN: Just listen.

It doesn't f*cking matter
how it happened, just...

Find him. You have to find him.

Evening. I'm Ethan.

Hi, Ethan. I don't care.

sh*t!

No.

[MUFFLED CRIES]

[COIN DROPS]

Yeah. It's me.

Mm-hm.

I did it, yeah.

Elliot Stanley's dead.
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