- Hi, girls. How
- was school today?
- Terrible.
- A slow, painful death.
Glad it's going better.
Excuse me.
What have you got there?
Oh, just some yarn.
- A customer asked
- me to repair a...
Are you kidding me?
This basket was handmade
in the 16th century
in a small village
off the coast of Zambia.
So it's not
from K-Mart?
No, it's not.
Well, I'm sorry,
I didn't realize.
All right.
- Just be careful
- next time.
Well, sure.
- W-What'd they use
- that for anyway?
The village women used it
to carry yarn.
a two-way twister ♪
♪ shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
♪ never knew
how much I missed you ♪
♪ Talk about
a two-way twister ♪
♪ no, it won't be
trouble-proof ♪
♪ never knew
how much I missed you ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let... you... go ♪
Will you hurry up?
We're going to be
late for school.
- I have nothing
- to wear.
- There's a lot of things
- about going to school
That can make you mental.
Like clothing.
Or teachers.
Or the cafeteria.
- Why is it every time
- you walk in there,
You come out smelling
like fish sticks?
- Even on meat
- loaf day.
- But of all the things
- in school,
The number one pain is...
Not having a date.
- Not that we'd ever
- admit it.
Remember,
- school dance this week,
- so don't be meek.
- Oh, hey,
- check it out.
I am.
I meant the dance, Tia.
Oh.
- Well, how are
- the dances here?
- Weak. - Yeah, Mr. Finora,
- The science teacher,
Is always the d.J.
Yeah,
- and he thinks Dr. Dre
- discovered penicillin.
Hey, look, there's Phil.
He's so fine.
- I can never talk
- to a guy that cute.
Hi, Phil.
Hey, tamera.
Good game against central.
Thanks.
You're amazing.
So, are you going
to the dance, Sarah?
No way.
- And the dances
- here are so lame.
- Yeah, I'd rather
- curl up and die.
- Make room,
- I'll die with you.
Me, too.
Excuse me, Jamie?
- I was just
- wondering if...
- Yes. - you would like to
- Go to the dance...
Yes.
Aah!
Lisa!
Lisa.
Lisa...
- Lisa, we
- need to talk.
- Well, I'm sorry, ray.
- I was just putting some - Fresh towels in your bathroom.
- Don't you know
- how to knock?
Well, I said I was sorry.
You're the landlord;
get some locks.
- Maybe if you'd knock, I
- wouldn't have to get locks.
Well, maybe if you had 'em,
I wouldn't be put in such
an embarrassing situation.
You? I'm the one who
was caught... you know.
- But I'm the one
- who had to look.
No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did,
- I had to look.
It's human nature.
What'd you see?
Well, I didn't see much.
I mean, you know, I mean, not
that there wasn't much to see.
I, I mean,
it was all a blur.
Lisa.
Lisa, listen to me.
I need my privacy,
I need my dignity.
Mr. Dignity,
your privacy is showing.
- I know it's hard combining
- households like this, but, uh,
- We need to establish some,
- some house rules around here.
Okay, fine.
All right, rule
number one...
Uh, we always knock
before we open a door.
How was that, ray?
Good.
- Look, we got to
- find a way to,
- To live together here,
- you know?
- I mean, I'll put locks
- on all the bathroom doors,
- We can separate our food...
- That would be nice.
- I'll get a schedule, - I'll
put it right up here - When i...
- Wait, w-wait a minute,
- that's my tuna.
Needs more Mayo.
Give me that.
It's not going to ring
if you stare at it.
- Can you believe
- Jamie today?
- Yeah, I mean,
- she gets one date
- And she acts like she's going
- out with tevin Campbell.
- I mean, - Eric's not that cute.
- Right.
He's gorgeous.
I know.
So... have you been
on a lot of dates?
Oh, yeah.
When you say date,
what do you mean exactly?
- You know, a
- date with a boy.
Does a date
with a boy cousin count?
No.
Then I've never been
on a date.
What about you?
- I've never even been
- out with a cousin.
Do you think
we're, like, mutants?
No.
If we're 35 and still
having this conversation,
then we're mutants.
Well, I don't really care
if a guy calls me.
Me, either.
- You know, that phone
- doesn't seem to be working.
- Maybe your dad forgot
- to pay the bill,
And it's disconnected.
Dial tone.
- What if someone's trying
- to call right now?
- And they're getting
- a busy signal.
Hang up.
- Hi, girls,
- how's it going?
We don't have dates
for the dance.
Well, uh, you know how these
dances work now, don't you?
No, mom.
See, the cool guys
are never in a rush.
- The cool guys
- always take their time
- Because they're looking
- for the most beautiful girls.
Yeah?
- Well, see, the nerds,
- the geeks, the chumps...
They got to be quick
out the blocks.
Yeah, only the losers
- ask girls out
- this early.
- Hey, have you guys heard
- about the dance
This Saturday night?
Exhibit a.
- I know that I'm just
- your next-door neighbor
- And that I might not be
- very tall or very handsome,
- But, well,
- one of you girls wouldn't want
- To go to the dance with me,
- would you?
Uh...
I don't care which one.
Sorry, Roger.
- I mean, you're great
- and everything, but it's...
It's just that we don't think
of you as... a guy.
- Then what do you
- think of me as?
More like a,
a friend.
But I can be more
than a friend.
Roger, no offense, but...
You're in the eighth grade.
So what's the big deal?
- When you girls are a hundred,
- I'll be 99.
Well, maybe
we can go out then.
Well, maybe then
I'll be busy.
Mmm.
Oh...
Mmm.
Ah.
What, what are you doing
sitting in the dark?
Waiting for you, ray.
What are you doing?
- Trying to send me
- to an early grave?
You been reading my diary?
I don't usually eat this late.
Ah.
Excuse me, but
that's my milk.
Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
I, I hadn't noticed.
Yeah, you're out.
Yeah, I guess I am.
You can have
some of mine.
Why, thank you.
- But I wouldn't want to
- break your house rules.
Fine.
I'll have my cereal
with... with water.
Yes.
I like it that way.
Less fat.
- Oh, ray, it's all right.
- You can have some of mine.
- Thank you. - You can buy me a
- New carton tomorrow.
So, are the girls asleep?
- Mm-mm, they're
- still up,
Not waiting for a boy to
ask them to the dance.
- Boys.
- Where do they come from?
- Weren't you alert during health
- and science that day?
- It's just that the girls are
- really in for some rough times.
Being a teenager, dating,
feeling awkward, insecure.
I had me a good time.
I bet you did.
Some of us were very,
very popular in high school.
Mmm, must be tough
when you peak early.
Ooh...
Ooh... one for ray.
Well, I don't know,
- I just hope they have an
- easier time of it than I did.
- Wow, I mean,
- I was just...
- It was horrible
- asking a girl for a date.
I'd call her up and my hands
would start shaking
and my voice would tremble,
and I developed a twitch.
- Were you wearing
- a superfly hat?
No.
Just trying to paint
a mental picture.
Go on.
Well, anyway,
I was so nervous that
before the girl could
make up her mind,
- I'd yell,
- "the house is on fire!"
And I'd slam the phone down.
You're a fascinating
man, ray.
Don't forget
the school dance.
Grab a date
before it's too late.
Hey, Tia, hey, tamera.
Hey.
I can't believe it.
Sarah hooked up with
Scott Underwood.
- It's like everyone in school's
- got a date but us.
- Tia, what are you
- complaining about?
- I mean, you're new
- at this school.
- Everybody knows me, and I
- still don't have a date.
- Yeah, but I still
- want to go.
- Come on, if no
- one calls us,
- We'll still have a
- great time together.
Yeah, right.
How?
- We'll do each
- other's hair.
And each other's makeup.
- And we'll look so
- good, we'll go out.
- To the movies,
- and we'll get great seats
'cause everybody will be
at the... stupid dance.
Wait a minute.
What if you get a
date and I don't?
Well, what if you get
a date?
Okay, we've got
to make a pact.
Either we both go or
neither of us goes.
Deal?
Deal.
Hi, tamera, Tia.
Hi, Phil.
- I saw you
- at basketball practice today.
You were really great.
Thanks a lot.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Anyway,
I was sort of wondering
if you'd like to go
to the dance with me.
- Sure.
- Okay.
See you Saturday.
Great.
Saturday.
I got a date,
I got a date!
Are you mad at me?
Does the word "pact"
mean anything to you?
Relax, you'll get a date.
It's only Wednesday.
It's Thursday.
Thursday?
Ooh.
Well, somebody's going
to ask you.
Just go to the dance.
Dance your
brains out.
♪ I don't know
what time it was ♪
♪ I didn't know
what day it was ♪
♪ I don't know
what time it was ♪
♪ I, I, I, I, I,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Hey, mom.
Hi, honey.
What are you doing?
Mrs. Clarkston escaped
from Jenny Craig again.
- I've altered this dress
- so many times
- The buttonholes
- have stretch marks.
What's up?
Nothing.
- Doesn't look
- like nothing.
It's just that tamera
got a date for the dance.
Oh, she did, huh?
- Well, honey,
- you're new at school.
- It's gonna
- take some time.
I feel like such a reject.
Now, just a minute, Tia.
It's true.
My daughter is not a reject.
Don't tell anyone
this, but...
You're the pretty twin.
Mom, we look
exactly alike.
- Do you know what
- this means?
- There must be something
- wrong with my personality.
What are you talking about?
- You've got a lot
- of personality.
You've got multiple
personalities.
I mean...
- Honey, you know what I...
- You're great.
- You're just saying that
- because you're my mom.
Uh-uh. I'd say that
if I were a neighbor.
I bet there are lots
of boys who'd love
to ask you out,
only they're too shy.
I know the feeling.
- You trust me, boys
- are just as scared as you are.
- They're probably sitting
- by the phone right now,
Sweating and twitching.
- They'd be talking
- to you right now,
- Only their house
- is burning down.
Mom, you're so weird.
It's the boys
who are weird.
- Sometimes, you've got to
- be the one to break the ice.
I bet if you walked up
and just started talking,
you'd draw them right in
like one of those
electronic bug zappers.
Charles!
What's up?
Uh, I think I just
blew a vocabulary quiz.
Hey, what does
"supercilious" mean?
"Supercilious"?
I think it
means pompous.
So it has nothing to do
- with being
- a really great clown?
Sorry.
So...
So...
So, big dance
this Saturday.
Yeah, sounds like fun.
A lot of fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I hate
to be supercilious,
but I better get going.
- I got a lot
- of stuff to do.
- Me, too.
- Lots of stuff.
Sorry, Roger.
Oh, it's okay, Tia.
Thanks.
Roger?
If your offer's still good...
I'll go with you to the dance.
You will?
Oh, no!
Oh, man, oh, man!
Why me? Why me?
What's wrong with you?
I already have a date.
You do?
I mean, great.
Well, it's okay.
- I'll just tell her
- that I can't make it.
- Uh, I'll tell her
- that I'm sick.
- I'll tell her that I
- ate some bad spinach
And got the trots.
Forget it.
- I don't want to go
- to the dance anymore.
No, wait.
Tia!
Call me.
You two were gone a long time.
Yeah, we were looking for
just the right dress.
Right, one that covered
everything but my head.
- She's beautiful in it.
- Ooh!
Ooh, I love
the color, tamera.
- Yeah, it fits me great...
- It's real clingy...
Yet loose
at the same time.
Hey.
Hey.
Found a dress, huh?
- Hey, maybe you
- could borrow it sometime.
Thanks, it's really
not my style.
- I don't know why I have
- to feel bad
- Just because I got a date
- and she didn't.
Ouch.
So how do you feel
about all this?
- Well, I feel
- kind of helpless.
- I mean, it's not
- like I can go to school
- And grab some boy
- and say, "hey, you idiot,
You better take out
my daughter!"
Can I?
Nah.
Hey, it's not that easy
when they have a date.
You know, I asked tamera
- about this guy she's
- seeing Saturday.
- She wouldn't
- tell me a thing.
That's how it is, ray.
- The older they get,
- the less they tell you.
- You mean this
- is as good as it gets?
These are the golden years.
It used to be so easy.
- They'd fall off
- their tricycle,
You'd pick them up,
give them a
band-aid, popsicle.
Kiss the boo-boo.
Now the boo-boo wants
to kiss them.
Oh, I hate my hair!
It's fine.
I look like Lenny kravitz.
Look, Tia,
I know I broke the pact
and everything,
- but I was sure
- you'd get a date.
Forget it!
Look, I'll call Phil
and get out of it.
You'd really do that?
Yeah.
But please don't make me.
It's okay... just go.
Are you still mad at me?
Not really.
- Hey, do you know
- what would look great
With that outfit?
- I had these
- before we were twins.
Thanks.
Tamera!
Phil is here.
So, how are you
doing, Phil?
Fine, Mr. Campbell.
I had enough of that
Mr. Campbell stuff.
Just call me ray.
Great, ray.
You know, Phil, I remember
being a teenager,
- so I'm not going
- to hassle you.
Thanks, ray.
You're welcome, Phil.
- You see, I know you're
- going out there
To have just some good,
clean fun, right?
That's right, ray.
Hold that smile for me.
- Guess you want to remember
- tamera's big date, huh?
- No, this is in case I
- have to hunt you down.
Oh, tamera,
you look beautiful.
Yeah, you look hot.
I mean, beautiful.
Thanks, Phil.
- Uh, you two
- get over there.
Let me take your picture.
Uh, not so close, Phil.
- Daddy, we'll
- see you later.
Okay, uh, just a minute.
- Uh, Phil,
- be right with you.
What is it, dad?
I just want to remember
- how pretty
- you look right now.
We'll be late.
Yeah, uh, tamera?
I just want to say, uh,
have a great time...
- And I love you
- very much.
Please, take this beeper.
Good night, daddy.
- Good night.
- Good night, ray.
That's Mr. Campbell.
Now, you all have a good time.
Yeah, a lot of fun.
Y'all come back, y'hear?
I hate this!
I hate this whole dating thing!
Join the club.
Die, you little aphids, die.
Hi, baby... hungry?
A little.
- Well, listen now,
- we're gonna
- Have a great time
- tonight, just us girls.
- I ordered a pizza, got
- a fridge full of soda.
I found out where ray
hides his mallomars.
Mom, no offense, but I feel
like being by myself.
- Tia, that's not gonna
- solve anything.
- You know what
- I used to do?
- Mom, I don't want
- any more advice.
- Tia, I'm just trying
- to help.
Nothing worked.
- I tried talking
- to a guy.
I even asked out Roger.
Oh, baby.
Face it, i'm
no bug zapper.
- Tia, you're fine
- just the way you are.
Mom, please don't
try to cheer me up.
- Can I say
- just one more thing?
- Mom, I don't want to
- hear anything else.
It'll take
just five seconds.
- Tia, I know you're upset
- about tonight,
- But the thing is
- you're a terrific person.
- You're terrific whether
- you have a date or not.
- Look at me, I raised you
- without a man,
- And you turned out great,
- and I turned out great,
- So we're both great,
- and to hell with them anyway!
Oxygen!
I'll get it.
Oh.
Hi, Roger.
I was just on my way
to pick up my date.
- I wanted to show
- you my suit.
It's nice, huh?
You look great.
- Thanks, and it's
- a real tie.
It's not a clip-on.
Look, I just wanted to
tell you that tonight,
- when I'm dancing
- with my date,
I'll really be
dancing with you.
- And when I go
- to kiss her...
Assuming she doesn't
push me away...
I'll really be
kissing you.
- And what about
- when you say good night?
I'll be saying
good night to you.
Good night, Roger.
Roger, give it up!
Charles!
- Tia, I didn't know
- you lived here.
Yeah.
You ordered
pepperoni, right?
Yeah, I ordered pepperoni.
I didn't know
you had a job.
Yeah, I have a job.
Oh, this must look
pretty stupid.
- No, no, not at all,
- you look very debonair.
"Debonair" was on
your vocabulary quiz.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.
I got that one wrong, too.
Here, you gave me too much.
Thanks.
Well, see you.
Charles, I know
you're probably busy,
but do you want to stay
and have a piece of pizza?
Well, actually, this
was my last delivery.
Great, come on in.
- All right,
- nightmare on elm street!
Yeah, this is the part
- where she gets her
- head chopped off.
I love that part.
Ray!
Ray, ray, you have
to see this...
Cool, stereo.
Yeah.
Well, like we said,
- school dances
- can be a nightmare,
- But everything
- turned out great.
And we made a pact never
to make a pact again.
- And we'll never get
- so caught up on dating.
- Right, we're not gonna
- let guys rule our lives.
- Hey, that's Phil!
- It's Charles!
Get out of my way!
01x02 - First Dates
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Starring Tia and Tamera Mowry as identical twin sisters separated at birth who are reunited as teenagers.
Starring Tia and Tamera Mowry as identical twin sisters separated at birth who are reunited as teenagers.