02x07 - Operation: Deja View

[bunniefuu]

Ow.

Tia!

- Tia.
- What?

My stomach hurts.

Ow!

What's going on in here?

- Sounds like
- somebody's dying.

Tamera's stomach hurts.

It's really sharp.

I never had this pain before.

- Oh, let me see.
- Ow!

Oh, oh.

- Ooh, girl,
- you're burning up.

- Tell me
- when it hurts.

Uh-uh.

Uh-uh.

Ow!

How'd you do that?

Ow.

I think I have it, too.

Ow!

- Ow!
- Ow!

- Ow!
- Ow!

Let me call emergency.

Hello, emergency,

this is an emergency.

- My girls are having
- sharp stomach pains,

And they need some help.

Uh, what kind of pains?

Uh, uh, this kind.

- Ow!
- Ow!

Yeah, yeah.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

- Yes, yes, they both...
- They both have high fevers.

- Uh-huh, what do you think
- it might be?

- Appendicitis,
- gall bladder or what?

No, no, no, it ain't that.

No, I'm sure.

'Cause if they were, they'd

be sleeping in a manger, okay?

- Now, how soon can you have
- an ambulance over here?

20 minutes!

- People can die
- in 20 minutes!

- We're gonna die?
- We're gonna die?

Over my dead body.

- Come on, girls,
- I'm taking you.

Where's dad?

He's still at that banquet.

- Okay, give me your arm.
- Am I too heavy?

- No, no, don't worry...
- In the time of crisis,

- Superhuman strength
- takes over.

- Come on, superhuman
- strength, kick in.

Oh, whoa!

- Oh, whoa, girl, shift
- your weight, girl.

Shift your weight.

Okay, Tia, grab on.

- Oh, no, don't
- grab me there!

My side.

My side!

- My side!
- Oh, my back!

- Mom, we're not
- moving.

Oh, yes, we are.

We're going down.

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♪ Talk about a

two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew

how much I missed you ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let... you... go ♪

- Excuse me, sir, could
- I please go ahead?

- Look, lady,
- I was here first.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I know, but my

daughters are in...

Hey!

- I fell down
- and got a head injury.

- And my neck hurts,
- and I'm having trouble

Remembering things.

Oh.

Oh, well, then,

I guess you forgot

that the doctor

already saw you.

He did?

Sorry, my mistake.

- Could you
- hurry it up?

- My babies are in
- pain, right, girls?

Pain... yes.

I'll need your health

insurance card.

Health insurance?

Yes.

Who do we contact

for payment?

Hillary rodham Clinton.

I'm sorry, but I need

some kind of authorization.

- Look, miss thing, if you don't
- admit these girls right now,

- You're gonna authorize me
- to get ugly,

- And I am not pretty when I
- get ugly, right, girls?

Ugly... no.

- Lisa, I got here as
- quick as I could.

What's going on?

Nurse Kevorkian here

won't admit the girls.

Look, here's my

health card.

Thank you, sir.

How can twins have

different last names?

- Look, they were separated
- at birth, they were adopted.

- They found each other
- at the mall.

They're broke...

Now, you fix them!

The doctor will see them

in a moment.

- Ray, about the money,
- you know I'll...

- Don't worry
- about it.

- Just pay me back
- whenever you like.

- Uh, Tia Landry,
- tamera Campbell.

- Oh, right
- over here.

- And when can
- the doctor see them?

I am the doctor.

What?

- You're kind of
- young, aren't you?

Well, look, don't worry.

I get that all the time.

- I like to think I'm mature
- for my age.

- Oh.
- How old are you?

None of your beeswax.

Can I see some I.D.,

Dr. Doogie?

Let the man

do his job.

- Okay, okay, let's see
- what the problem is.

Ow!

Ow!

Mm-hmm.

You guys are having

pains in your side.

Now i'd like

to see some I.D.

Well, it looks like

acute appendicitis

on both of them.

Well, how serious is it?

- We should operate
- right away

- To avoid
- complications.

They're gonna cut us open?

- You know,
- I have

- A big exam I have
- to study for.

You better hurry...

She's hallucinating.

Uh,

- prep these two
- for surgery

- And take them to
- O.R. three stat.

We'll take it from here.

- It's all right,
- tamera.

- It'll be okay...
- Don't think about it.

- If you need anything,
- I'll be right here.

- There's nothing
- to be afraid of.

- It's only
- minor surgery.

- You won't
- feel a thing.

Don't worry, baby,

mama's here.

- And anything you take out,
- I want to see!

- I don't care how
- bad it is, doc.

- Tell me the worst.
- Girl,

- The toilet bowl
- overflowed.

Ray, this is t*rture.

- I thought it was supposed
- to get easier as they got older.

You know, I...

- I remember bringing
- tamera home

- From the
- adoption agency.

- You won't believe
- what I bought her.

- A set of encyclopedia
- Britannicas.

Oh, I believe it.

- Yeah, I stayed up
- all night reading to her

About what was

then yugoslavia.

Oh, what a time

we had.

- I remember bringing Tia
- home for the first time.

- I wanted to buy her
- a little mobile,

- But my money
- was tight,

- So I made her one
- out of ritz crackers.

- Every morning,
- I made it.

- Every evening,
- I ate it.

- You know, it's nice
- to have someone

- To go through
- this with.

It sure is.

Yeah, well, enough of

that bonding, ray.

How you feeling, girls?

- Better.
- Better.

Good.

And don't feel bad

about having that scar.

- It's just proof
- you got your money's worth.

Let me see it.

Ooh, this

is fine work.

Mm-hmm.

- Nice zigzag stitch,
- then finished off

- With a clean
- feather cross.

- I didn't know what to get
- from the gift shop,

- So I got, uh...
- Let's see, a Waldo's book,

A book of crossword puzzles,

- a wall street journal,
- ace bandage,

Two stuffed animals

and a bonsai plant

- that reads, "congratulations
- on your new hip."

Thanks, dad.

And if you get hungry,

- I ran out and I got you
- some real food.

What is it?

Quesadillas

and hot wings.

- Thanks, mom,
- but can you

Just put it over

there for now?

- Ray, thank you for taking care
- of those hospital bills.

- I want you to know
- I'll pay you back.

No problem.

- No, no, no, I can't stand
- being in debt.

Lisa...

I insist.

Just give me a date.

Ten working days.

No, no, a date from inside

that fruit basket.

- And could you hand me
- the hot sauce from that bag?

Must you think of

food 24 hours a day?

Ray, when I'm nervous, I eat.

- It's not like food
- is the center of my life.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry.

- You know where I can get
- a cup of coffee?

- Uh, down that hall, right after
- the candy machine, turn left.

- Go three doors till you get
- to the sandwich machine.

Hang a right past the snack bar

- where they're selling cakes
- with the walnuts on them.

- Can't miss it,
- 'cause it's right next

- To the only soda machine
- that sells yoo-hoo.

Mmm!

- Uh, I don't know
- what's keeping him.

He should be here any minute.

Hey!

- What are we - clapping for?
- You, pal... - You're on.

- What? No, you got
- the wrong guy.

- I'm looking for my
- daughter's room.

- Look, uh, we're kind
- of in a bind here.

We had a singer booked,

- but I guess he ditched
- the old folks.

- Do you think - you could help us out?
- Me?

I'd do it,

but I bathe them.

- Look, uh, i'm
- not a singer.

- We got a
- karaoke machine.

Come on, get some use

out of your rental.

Hey, pal, I own.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's give

a nice, warm welcome to...

- What's your name?
- Uh, ray Campbell.

- Look, I don't
- want to...

He's played all the hospitals

- in the Detroit
- metropolitan area.

You know him...

You kind of like him.

Ray Campbell!

I am not a singer.

I am not a professional.

I don't want to do this.

I don't...

Well, hello.

- I have a surprise
- for two patients

Who are doing just fine.

- Really?
- What is it?

Your appendixes.

Pretty cool, huh?

- Wow.
- Wow.

- Look at these
- weird colors.

Mine looks sad.

Ew.

Are-are you okay?

- You look kind - of pale.
- Oh no, I'm fine.

- I... I just
- need a pail.

You know, girls, your...

- Your medical histories
- are amazing.

Oh, come on.

- You're just - saying that.
- No.

- You had the same
- childhood diseases

- At almost the exact
- same times,

- Except for
- the ringworm.

- Ew!
- Ew!

- That was her.
- That was her.

- How do you know
- all this, Dr. Bailey?

- Well, it's in
- your records.

- You were born right
- here in this hospital.

- We were?
- We were?

- Yeah, didn't you know that?
- Oh, yeah.

Guess they must have

painted the place.

- You mean they
- have all

Of our birth

information here?

Must be downstairs

in the file room.

I'll see you girls

later.

- Oh, and, uh, as your doctor,
- I want you to know

- That I'll always
- be there for you.

I love my work.

Dr. Bailey,

you're wanted in surgery.

Why don't they just

leave me alone?

Tia,

- if they really have all of our
- birth information here,

That means we can find the

names of our real parents.

So?

- But don't you want to know
- who they are?

Well, I guess I've never really

thought about it that much.

- Really? I've always wondered
- what they were like.

I mean, were they cool?

Were they like the huxtables?

Were they like the bundys?

- Well, if they were
- like the huxtables,

- They would've never put us up
- for adoption.

- But maybe they didn't
- have a choice.

Look, I'm just saying

we should think about this.

Tamera, in no way, shape or form

do I want to be involved.

Good.

Keep an open mind.

♪ What's it all about,

Alfie-e-e-e ♪

♪ is it just in the moment

we li-i-ive ♪

What's your name, honey?

Oh, a little nervous, huh?

That's alright.

This song's for you.

♪ What's it all about when

we've thought it out ♪

♪ are we meant to take more

than we gi-i-ive ♪

Ray-ay-ay-ay.

- Ray, wha-wha-what's
- you doin' in here?

My second encore.

Boy, they ate up my

Sammy Davis, Jr.

- You know, I feel
- a lot of love in this room.

Yeah, a lot of liniment, too.

- I kind of got, you know,
- roped into this, but,

Hey, they love me.

Yeah, ray.

Yeah, ray, looks

like you k*lled.

Sir, are you okay?

Ooh!

Hey, well, do it

till you drop.

- You know, uh, ray, I think
- we should get out of here.

- But I haven't done
- my motown medley.

Let them enjoy the time

they have left, ray.

Okay, our show's over.

Drive safe. Peace out.

Come on, ray.

- Oh, ray?
- Hmm?

- Give that woman back
- her drawers.

Tamera!

Tamera!

What?

I've been thinking about it.

About what?

- You know, who our
- real parents are.

- Actually, I've always thought
- about it a lot.

They could be anybody.

I really want to know

who they are.

So do I,

but I don't want to hurt

my mom's feelings.

I know, I know.

I've been thinking

about my dad, too.

- But we do have a right to know
- who our real parents are.

I just don't know

if we should do this.

- I think it's illegal.
- Look,

All we have to do is

find the file room.

I know this sounds silly, but...

I wish we had a sign

or something.

Come on, let's go.

- You think that's
- the sign?

- No, I just want
- to get outta here

Before he hits

the chorus.

Perfect!

Let's go.

Wait!

There, that's better.

- I made my butt look
- too big.

Tia, would you...

- Ooh, me, too.
- Come on.

- We have to get back
- before they wake up.

Okay.

Hey!

Shh!

- Roger, what're you doing
- here?

- Well, I was sitting here
- watching you guys.

Then I fell asleep.

And the next thing I know...

Well, this is the next thing

I know.

- Roger, you can't
- come with us.

- Yeah, this doesn't
- concern you.

Is that any way to treat me?

- I spent two hours
- in the gift shop

Picking something out for you.

- Oh, really?
- Where is it?

Hey, I didn't have any money.

- Okay, Roger,
- you're in.

- But don't try - anything weird.
- Yeah.

Okay, before we go we need to

synchronize our body clocks.

Well, how do we do that?

- Group hug.
- Forget it.

How 'bout one by one?

Dr. Cohen...

- Oh, Tia, this isn't
- gonna work.

- No one's gonna
- believe

- That this twerp works
- in a hospital.

Orderly, you're wanted

in surgery.

Huh?

- No way!
- No way!

Uh, well, I'd really

like to help,

but I got a

heart transplant.

- And then I gotta bypass
- a gall bladder.

Then I'm playin' golf.

- Doctor killebrew's performing a
- breast enhancement surgery.

- He just needs
- a hand.

Bye.

- Roger, how can you
- do this?

Hey, this is what I went

to medical school for.

Okay, we've just gotta

get to the file room.

- Okay, I got - an idea.
- Mm-hmm.

- I'll get on the gurney,
- and you push it.

Why?

- Because it looks
- like fun.

Someone's coming.

- What'll we do?
- What we always do.

Run!

Quick, let's duck

in here.

- Safe!
- Safe!

That you, nurse?

Uh, yes.

Good.

I'm ready for my

sponge bath.

- Ew!
- Ew!

He needs a car wash.

Come on, I'm getting

goose bumps!

Um, get started

without me.

I'll go find a box

of tide.

Wait! Wait!

I need my anti-fungal cream.

♪ Hush, little babies,

don't say a word ♪

♪ mama's gonna buy you

a mockingbird ♪

♪ if that mockingbird

don't sing ♪

♪ mama's gonna eat

your last hot wing. ♪

Aren't they cute, ray?

Ray?

Ray?

Oh, ray.

Oh, ray.

- Ray, your head
- is blooming.

- What, what? Are the
- girls all right?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

How are the girls resting?

Oh, hi, Dr. Bailey.

- They're doing just fine.
- We want to thank you

- For everything - you've done.
- It's my pleasure.

Uh, by the way,

- if there's any discomfort,
- don't worry about it.

- I think I dropped my reading
- glasses in one of 'em.

- What? - What?
- Just kidding.

- Do you think you could be
- serious for just one moment?

Yeah.

You know, I'd appreciate it

- if you were just a little
- bit more professional.

Good one.

What's his problem?

Oh, ray, I don't know.

- You know, some people just
- don't take the time

- To stop and smell
- the roses.

And now let's take a

look at those new breasts.

Quick! Here!

Whew!

Wow, we found it!

- Look at all these
- filing cabinets.

- Okay, let's start
- looking.

- You take this side, and
- I'll take that side.

Hey, a plan!

Well, here goes.

Are you nervous?

- Yeah, a little,
- but...

- We're gonna find the names
- of our real parents.

- Suppose they don't want
- to know who we are?

- Suppose they're out there
- right now

Trying to find us?

- You're right.
- We gotta do this.

- Yeah, this is no time
- for cold feet.

- Boy, there were a lot of
- dead people there.

- Do you think this is
- a bad hospital?

We better get back to the

room before they wake up.

- Yeah, but we gotta
- keep looking.

- Tia, we're not
- gonna give up.

- We're gonna find
- our real parents.

- Yeah. After all,
- we did find each other.

Hurry up, nurse.

- This poor guy has suffered
- severe trauma.

A little help here,

people.

How you feeling, girls?

- A little better.
- A little better.

Tamera, you want me to

fluff up your pillow?

Thanks, dad.

Tia, can I get you some

cake or something?

- Sure.
- Okay.

- Ray, come on, let's go
- to the cafeteria.

Don't they need something

a little healthier?

- Oh, we'll get 'em
- some carrot cake.

Girls, I hope you know

how much we love you.

You're our whole world.

- Yeah, we're happy
- you're okay.

We'd be lost without you.

- I don't think we need to look
- anymore.

Yeah,

it'd be too tough to take care

of another set of parents.

Hit it!

- You, you know, when I
- threw that cummerbund,

- It was in the heat
- of the moment.

- You know, this is a
- very expensive tux,

And-and I own it.

- And, well, you see,
- that's-that's mine.

Hey!