01x06 - A Day Off in Roa

[bunniefuu]

[PHILIP] You did yourself proud yesterday, Rudeus.

That's very kind. But what happened was my fault.

I am a little confused, though.

I can see why they abducted Eris,

but why would they want me as well?

[PHILIP] You'll learn there are many uses for

a member of the Greyrat bloodline.

Both politically and physically, I'm afraid. See?

So your involvement's off the record. You understand?

Yes. I understand.

It was all Ghislaine and I was never there.

[PHILIP chuckles] Yes, indeed.

[RUDEUS] The official story is that Ghislaine

dealt with the kidnapping singlehandedly. I get it.

Having a Sword King on staff is a great way

to show off the strength and wealth of the house.

And, apparently, it would be bad if

the "other" Greyrats knew about me.

Now that I don't get, but if it's political,

like Philip said, I'm happy to stay out of it.

[door opens]

[PHILIP] Hilda!

Good morning, darling.

[PHILIP] This is Paul's son.

I've just hired him as Eris's new tutor.

[RUDEUS] It's a pleasure to meet you.

My name is Rudeus Greyrat.

[RUDEUS] She must be Philip's wife.

[RUDEUS chuckling]

[HILDA sighs]

[RUDEUS] I take it she doesn't like me. What'd I do?

[SAUROS] They told me Paul's son was in here!

That would be me, sir! It's a pleasure to meet you.

[SAUROS] Huh?

You're far too polite to be related to that scoundrel!

Very well, then, I permit you to stay!

[ALPHONSE] Young Master Rudeus, it is my great honor

to introduce you to the liege lord of Fittoa,

Lord Sauros Boreas Greyrat.

My father, and Paul's uncle.

I hear you saved my Eris, is that correct?

[RUDEUS] Oh, no, sir. It wasn't me, it was Ghislaine.

Don't you dare lie through your teeth to me

in my own manor, boy!

[RUDEUS] Wait, what?

Lord Philip said not to take credit! I thought...

[SAUROS] Hm? Philip!

[PHILIP] Yes, Father.

Huh?

[SAUROS] You ingrate! You would dare

muzzle your daughter's savior?

No, sir. Since Rudeus is undeniably a Greyrat,

I wish to avoid mere posturing, and instead show thanks

by welcoming him into our branch of the family.

Ha. If that's your plan, then go about your business.

[PHILIP] Thank you very much, Father.

[RUDEUS] Really? So, no apology for clocking his son?

Though, come to think of it,

Eris has never apologized to me, either. Oh well.

Rudeus, I have a request!

Anything, sir!

I want you to teach my granddaughter how to use magic!

She said she can't get those spells you cast out of her head,

so let's strike while the iron's hot!

I would be happy to.

[RUDEUS] Wow. That's a familiar look.

I guess Eris got all her, uh, charm by imitating this guy.

Though I would much prefer it if Lady Eris asked me that herself.

What'd you say?

[RUDEUS] Well, if she always forces other people

to speak for her while she's growing up,

she'll never learn to be a polite and humble adult! Right?

I see. That's a fair point. I'll discuss it with her.

Eris!

[ERIS] Coming!

Did you talk to him, Grandfather, is he gonna do it?

[SAUROS] Now listen to me, Eris, it's high time you learned

how to bow you head and ask for things yourself!

Really? But you already said you would ask him for me.

Eris!

Teach me! I wanna learn--

Is that any way to make a polite request?

[RUDEUS] You're one to talk.

[ERIS] Won't you please teach Eris how to do magic, meow?

That was wonderful, my dear, look how adorable you are!

And of course he'll teach you. Won't you, Rudeus?

Remember to stick your hips out to look more appealing.

The masters are quite fond of beast people, you see,

so this pose is meant to emulate drooping ears

to convey humility.

I don't need reading, writing, or math, meow!

Only magic, please meow!

Adding a meow doesn't make it polite!

Go ahead.

All right!

Don't just swing your arms! Remember your footwork!

[ERIS] Let the great protection of fire

converge where thou seekest.

I call forth the bold heat of a torch here and now!

Fireball!

[gasps] I did it!

[RUDEUS] Now move this one here.

And plus is . Simple, right?

Yes, that makes sense. I'm finally starting to get it.

[ERIS] Rudeus, look what I did!

Someday I'll be able to make huge fireworks

in the sky just like you!

Hey! Are you insane?

Ugh, I wish you were half this enthusiastic

about any of your other lessons.

[RUDEUS] Huh?

[RUDEUS sighs] Not again.

Eris? Where'd you go?

[RUDEUS] I've been her tutor for about a month now.

She still won't listen to anything I say.

If I reprimand her, she'll run.

If I try to stop her, she'll punch me and then run.

If I chase her, she'll turn around, punch me again,

and then hide somewhere.

She can keep it together for magic class,

but the other subjects...

[RUDEUS] But she looks like an angel when she's asleep.

Eris. You'll catch a cold.

If you don't wake up, I'll att*ck you.

[RUDEUS chuckles] Still a double-A, I see.

But I sense the potential for growth!

You may yet become an E or bigger! [laughs]

[ERIS grunts]

Please rejoin us in class, My Lady.

I have so many exciting lessons planned for you.

[RUDEUS] Sound asleep, huh? Oh well.

Time to add to my collection of holy relics.

[RUDEUS] Here it comes!

[RUDEUS] Looks like she completely outplayed me.

Flawless victory.

[ERIS] Hmph!

[RUDEUS] It's hopeless. Time to consult with Ghislaine.

Surely she knows some way to get Eris under control.

This sucks! I'm bored now!

Long ago, I thought a sword was all I needed.

[ERIS] Hm?

In the Fangs of the Black Wolf party, we had six members.

Two swordsmen, a fighter, and a thief,

plus one mage and one cleric to cover our bases.

Business was never my strong suit,

so the others handled supplies.

So what happened next?

[RUDEUS] She's hooked!

[RUDEUS] Were my mother and father in that party?

They were. This would have been seven years ago now.

[RUDEUS] I thought that would be it.

You mentioned business.

Have you ever found yourself in trouble

because you didn't know how to do math?

Yeah. More than just once.

The worst was after your parents married.

I traveled alone, but couldn't calculate money.

So I wound up stranded with no rations.

I went ten days without food or drink.

I thought I was gonna die.

I finally gave in and ate monster sh*t,

but it gave me the runs.

I was sick for days.

Have you ever fought off monsters while you had diarrhea?

[RUDEUS] She's going all in with this monster "stuff."

And that's why I want to learn math.

I'm counting on you.

Rudeus, hurry up and get on with the lesson!

It would be great if you could get this fired up

for any of our classroom lessons.

[GHISLAINE] Watch your opponent closely and remember

how to shift your stance!

If you can move faster, create an opening

by putting them on the defensive!

Then aim for their weak point!

Keep your eyes open!

If you can't charge fast enough,

ready yourself for a counterattack!

[GHISLAINE] Watch your opponent's feet and eyes

to predict their next move!

Rudeus! Quit trying to strategize!

Just think about how to step in and swing!

[RUDEUS] "Don't strategize, just strategize," very helpful.

[GHISLAINE] Eris! Don't let up!

Your opponent hasn't surrendered yet!

Right!

[RUDEUS] Oh boy.

[panting]

You've got a long way to go, Rudeus!

[GHISLAINE] Don't get conceited, Eris.

You've been holding a sword for far longer than he has.

And you're older.

Yeah, I know!

And he spent a whole bunch of time learning magic and stuff.

[GHISLAINE] Right. That said. You're normally very quick,

but your movements are sluggish when you're on the defensive.

Yeah, I get scared.

When someone's attacking for real, I overthink it and freeze.

Oh, please! That's pathetic!

People are gonna look down on you for that!

[GHISLAINE] No, they won't.

Mages don't train in close combat.

Really? Guess he can't help it!

[RUDEUS] What did she hit me for?

You are making progress,

but I'm afraid I can't fix your flinching.

Fix that yourself.

[RUDEUS] Yes, ma'am.

Okay, Rudeus. Get up already

so we can go another round before it gets late!

Would you mind going a little easier on me this time?

I'm not holding back just because you're weak!

[RUDEUS] Yeah, I figured.

[GHISLAINE] Okay. Begin!

[RUDEUS] I'm exhausted.

And I still have to do tomorrow's lesson plan.

[RUDEUS groans] This is such a pain!

[RUDEUS] Who knew work would be so much work?

[RUDEUS] But I won't give up.

I've got University with Sylphie to look forward to.

[RUDEUS] Okay! Eris actually pays attention in class now.

So I just gotta keep this up for another five years!

[RUDEUS] And right when I let down my guard,

Eris started acting up again.

[RUDEUS screams]

[RUDEUS] You know what? We could all use a break.

[yawns]

[ERIS] Hurry up! Come on, let's go!

[RUDEUS] Eris, I know I'm repeating myself,

but while we're in town, please don't wander off alone.

It would be awful if you got abducted again.

Mentally speaking.

[ERIS] I know, I'm not stupid!

And by the way, that outfit.

[ERIS] Hm?

[RUDEUS] They do say "fine feathers make a fine bird."

It's lovely, My Lady. You look good!

[ERIS] I'm going!

[RUDEUS] What's her problem?

[RUDEUS] As I understand it, Roa is the largest city

in the Fittoa Region of the Asura Kingdom.

Everything is gorgeous. Even the outer walls.

Whenever I remember I'm in a fantasy land, I get all tingly.

Who wouldn't?

[gasps]

[MEN laughing]

[WOMAN A] Just one this time, please!

[GIRL A] What's that?

[MERCHANT B] Wanna try some?

So, an apple costs one Asuran copper.

[MERCHANT A] You there! Young sir!

You mean me?

That's an awfully fancy getup. You come from the lord's manor?

[RUDEUS] Yes, why?

I have something here that's perfect

for a man of your station. Wanna take a look? Huh? Huh?

[RUDEUS] What is it?

A highly prized medicine from Asura Palace

that just came in this morning.

Believe it or not, one sip will let you go for hours,

and if you give a sip to your ladylove instead,

she'll be putty in your hands, if you get my meaning.

[RUDEUS] An aphrodisiac! Ten gold pieces?

Better write that down.

I can't read any of that! What are those weird letters?

They're my notes, it only matters that I can read them.

I demand you tell me what you're writing!

[RUDEUS] What a little tyrant.

The names, locations, and prices of goods.

What do you want to know all of that stuff for?

Comparing market prices is a basic MMO strat.

"M-M"? I don't know what that means!

Okay, here's an example.

[ERIS] Hm?

[RUDEUS] Something that costs five large coppers

across the street is being sold here for four.

But here's a question for you.

If you managed to haggle the price here down to three copper

and sold it across the street for four,

how much money would you make?

Huh? Okay. Five minus three plus four. Six copper!

[RUDEUS] What kind of math is that?

[RUDEUS] Ehh. Wrong answer.

Huh?

Four minus three equals one large copper.

Ghislaine's our winner!

Well. I was about to say that next!

[RUDEUS] Were you though?

And, if I started out with ten large coppers,

then I would end up with , wouldn't I?

[RUDEUS] I mean, yeah, but...

Eh, whatever, I'll compliment her anyway.

Effusive praise seems to motivate her.

Oh, wow, you got that one right! You're so clever, Lady Eris!

Naturally!

[RUDEUS] So you see?

Young sir? Do you want it, or?

[RUDEUS] And with some basic arithmetic,

you can help save money or even make a little extra!

[ERIS] Yeah. I guess that makes sense!

[GHISLAINE] Yeah.

[RUDEUS] Hey, I have that book. Seven gold pieces.

[RUDEUS] From what I've been able to figure,

that's in the neighborhood of seven hundred thousand yen.

Woof.

What did Mom have to do to afford that?

Hey, what are you looking for?

[RUDEUS] Nothing in particular.

I thought I might find an interesting book.

[ERIS] If there's something you want, I can buy it for you!

That's kind of you to offer, but do you actually have any money?

I'll get Grandfather to pay for it!

[RUDEUS] I figured. I shouldn't endorse that.

But I do want a book. I really want a book!

Thanks, but no.

Well why not?

It's not your money to spend, you didn't earn it.

What's that supposed to mean?

Eris, do you have any idea how much I get paid

every month to be your tutor?

About five gold pieces?

[RUDEUS] Two silver pieces.

That's way too little! What do you get?

I get paid two gold pieces.

[ERIS] See?

[RUDEUS] "See" what?

Ghislaine is your instructor and your family's bodyguard.

And she's one of the highest-ranked swordsmen

in the world, so of course she gets paid more than me.

Then what would I get paid for teaching?

At your current skill levels?

Maybe one silver, but that's on the high end.

I appreciate the sentiment,

but you should wait to buy people gifts

until you can save up your own money, okay?

Fine, be that way.

[RUDEUS] She's so quiet.

This attitude might be worth encouraging.

I don't want to completely sh**t down

such a valiant attempt at gratitude.

Well, hey, how about, when we get back home,

we can ask Lord Philip to give you an allowance.

Do you mean it?

[gasps]

[GHISLAINE] Never seen it before?

[RUDEUS] You're telling me that's normal? What is it?

[GHISLAINE] You're kidding me.

That is the fortress of Perugius, the Dragon King.

Perugius?

[ERIS] Yeah, you know!

He's one of the three legendary heroes

who defeated and banished the Demon God Laplace!

Banished who now?

[GHISLAINE] What, you don't know about him, either?

[ERIS] Ooh! Laplace was a super evil guy

who tried to wipe out the entire human race!

[RUDEUS] Huh? I feel like I've heard this story before.

But where?

That whole w*r was like a thousand years ago.

A lot of the other heroes d*ed, but Perugius and his servants

went to Laplace's stronghold and b*at him up!

[RUDEUS] Oh, I remember! We had a book about this!

I always thought it was a fairy tale.

You sure know a lot about history, My Lady.

So you know, our modern society was born of that battle.

We're in year of the Armored Dragon Calendar,

which was named in honor of Perugius.

Whoa.

You have a lot to learn, Rudy!

[RUDEUS] So that whole-ass flying castle has been up there

since the w*r with Laplace ended years ago?

Is this Perugius guy even still alive up there?

Either way, I'd like to go there someday.

--Hey, I did it! --Let's have a look.

[RUDEUS] Eris's mood has improved drastically

since we started giving her some time off.

A little R&R goes a long way.

[ERIS] By the way, I got you something!

Huh?

[gasps] My Lady? Why do you have this?

You looked like you really wanted it the other day!

Thanks to you, Lady Eris now gets an allowance

to do with as she pleases.

I even calculated the change correctly!

Okay! Well, thank you very much!

I'm so glad to hear your studies are paying off.

But we should get back to the lesson at hand!

Why are you being weird? What's that medicine for?

Don't worry about it,

let's move onto an extra tough problem.

You may have to work together to solve it!

Hey, don't change the subject, tell me what it is!

[RUDEUS] Uh... gotta go!

[ERIS] Ghislaine! Capture Rudeus at once!

[GHISLAINE] On it.

[RUDEUS] Put me down, I know my rights!

Don't treat me like a criminal, I didn't do anything!

[RUDEUS gasps] No, not my million-yen aphrodisiac!

I'm sorry, your what?

What's an "aphrodisiac"?

Uh... You know. It's a... [chuckles]

Get back here!

[RUDEUS] I had one hell of a time talking my way out of that.

[RUDEUS laughing] The violent child and the meathead, here,

are relentless.

But their studies are definitely paying off.

So I think I'll celebrate that for now.