01x01 - If Only I Had Thorns Like A Thistle…

[bunniefuu]

So in , the National Socialist German Workers Party,

aka the Nazis, came to power.

Adolf h*tler was appointed chancellor and soon after that,

the democracy of post-w*r Germany became a fascist regime.

Uh, we're in the middle of a lesson here.

I'm on official business. Yes, sir.

I'm the disciplinary committee chair. Iraga McGorry

Students of Class K. It has come to our attention.

There is someone among you who intends

to bring harm to Honnouji Academy.

Step forward and accept your punishment.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Did you think you'd escape me with a tear gas b*mb?

Look.

That

one star Goku uniform. Looks like I've found our thief.

What are you waiting for? Try it on.

Stop. Amazing. I can feel the power

surging through my body and my soul. I like it.

My body is moving faster than fast.

Of course, that's the power of the Goku uniform. Then die.

Too bad your uniforms are one star, but mine is a three star.

Sorry, but you're a tax. Can't do a thing to me. Yeah.

Oh, sneaking a Goku uniform out.

What were you planning on doing with it?

Perhaps you're a spy working for that Kobe trash.

The power of the uniforms wasted on you.

You're not fit to wear it.

Remove that Goku uniform. No.

Listen up.

Students of Honnoji Academy. Satsuki Kiryuin, your student council president,

created the laws of this school.

And as long as I'm alive, those laws will be upheld.

Lady Satsuki a. Your student council president, Satsuki Kiryuin.

Fear is freedom. Subjugation is liberation. Contradiction is true.

Those are the facts of this world.

And you will all surrender to them. You pigs in human clothing.

There it is. Oh, no. Academy.

You.

Ha! Oh, I'm sorry. That was a piece of cake.

I could have sworn I grabbed her wallet.

Huh? Stealing half eaten lemons from people, huh? Nice manners, kid.

Are you that desperate to swap spit with chicks?

Don't be getting all cute with me, bitch.

I get way more action than you.

Good. Then you can die without any regrets.

Ha. I was just going to say that to you. Come on out, guys.

If you even know who you're dissing me.

Lightning speed, Montoro, that's who. And this is Horno Town's Blindest Alley.

My turf. It's a dead end for losers, ho's thugs and scumbags.

So if you want to get home

in one piece, leave your wallet and step.

Seriously? You know, this whole street punk thing ain't working for you.

Same with your crew. These guys are, like, the goofiest g*ng ever.

Anyway, if you all want to pick a fight,

that's cool with me. Let's do this. Kick her.

We give up, you win. What the hell?

We weren't really going to do anything.

Yo, we're a passive aggressive g*ng.

I'm not going to fight people who can't fight back.

I'll let it slide this time.

Mugging folks at the cr*ck of dawn again, huh? Crap.

It's my big sister. How many times

I gotta tell you to stop taking

people down and get your fanny to school?

You got a death wish or something? I'm sorry.

I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going.

Ain't got time for institutionalized learning, you dumb ass.

I'm going to be a baller. A ball.

You dumb little jerk. Sorry about that. Are you.

I'm gonna be late. Let me out.

Let me out. Let me out. Let me. Let me out, please. Oh.

What the hell? These people are crazy.

This is a naked pig who dared to defy Honnoji Academy.

Justice has been served. The city is dangerous,

but the school sounds even worse.

Interesting. Something tells me I'm going to find some answers here.

We have a new student in class

today, so please welcome Ryuko. Matoi.

Ryuko. Here you go. Here, sit here. This desk is free. Suzuka,

My magic spazzing out something fierce. Oh, that's how Mankanshoku usually is.

I guess that'll be your seat. Enjoy.

My name's Mukku Mankanshoku. It's nice to meet you again and everything.

That kid the student council purged. He

the one out front? Uh huh.

That kind of thing happens a lot around here.

Oh, but don't worry. You'll get used to it.

Oh, so she's asleep already?

Oh, why did you dodge me like that?

Well, that's what people do when weirdos come flying at them. Oh,

I was just trying to give my bestie a hug.

Your bestie? Yeah. We're just neighbors now, so we're totally besties.

Oh, that reminds me. Is that your guitar case?

Do you play? Come on, play something.

I'll sing. We're gonna run away. God, would you calm down?

Listen, I want to know what the deal is with this place.

Like, who's the top dog around here and stuff?

It's. Whoa! Look at me. Go. Bow bow.

He looks like a big sh*t. Yeah, he's a three star.

Three star? Yep. That's Iraga Magori, the disciplinary committee chairman.

He's one of the elite four of the student council.

He's super elite. Three ranks above us.

No star students. No star. Uh huh.

The uniforms here have amazing powers. And if

you get one here, it's awesome.

You get all, like, superhuman and stuff.

They're called Goku uniforms, and they go from

one star all the way up to three star.

Our student council president, Satsuki Kiryuin hands

out Goku uniforms based on a student's abilities.

Long story short, they're awesome. You got all that?

So what you're saying is the student

council president is the top dog, right? Yeah.

And speak of the devil. That's Lady Satsuki.

Sorry to interrupt, but I hear you're

the queen bee at this school.

If you are, I got a question for you. How dare you get her?

A pair of. No half. That's the hugest scissor blade ever.

Yup. It's one half of a giant pair of scissors,

and I've been looking all over the place

for the person who's got the other half.

Hey, Perez. You okay? You look surprised to see this thing.

Like maybe you've seen it before. You

have seen it before, haven't you?

And what if I have? You have seen it.

You've got the other half of my scissors.

Hey, Ken.

Hi.

Fukuroda? Yes. Captain of the boxing club.

Takaharu Fukuroda. I'll finish this insolent wench

off, with your permission. She's yours. On my way.

That glove made out of iron or something.

Don't you know a Goku uniform when you see one?

What? You're not even wearing a uniform.

What are you talking about? A boxer's

uniform means gloves and trunks and other stuff.

Plus, Lady Satsuki gave me this athleticism augmenting two star Goku uniform.

It infuses my boxing gloves with their power,

making them harder than hard, stronger than steel.

I don't get what you're saying, but if they're that hard,

I can stop pulling my punches.

Huh? You think I can't handle it?

Get ready. Here's the left arm to rule your ass.

And another. And a left hook.

And a right uppercut to finish you off.

I was hoping you'd prove to be more amusing,

but you have no idea how to properly wield your w*apon.

Hold it. You better tell me what

you know or else shut your mouth.

No one speaks to Lady Satsuki that way. No one.

Confiscate her scissor blade. Ma'am. No way.

Don't ever take this away from me. Never.

I saw that att*ck coming from a mile away, you rookie.

I'm a boxer, remember? Oh, sweet. Huh? Ryuko.

Are you going home? I need to borrow your bike. Thanks.

assh*le With a bike delivery.

Damn it. One thing's for sure, she knows how to retreat.

Nah, you idiot. I'm sorry, sir.

You let her mock Lady Satsuki,

you let her escape, and you failed

to confiscate her w*apon as ordered.

A mistake made by a member of a club

you run is your mistake. Son of Guihomar.

Yeah, I know. You think I've been punishing him for kicks here?

And by the way, the disciplinary committee

should have stepped in when she dissed

Lady Satsuki. And that's your mistake, Gamagori.

I found some Intel on the new girl.

She's been starting fights at high schools in the Eastern Kanto region.

At schools ruled by Honnoji Academy. Apparently, they were personal spats.

That's why we never received reports. Such negligence.

Inform our branches to keep an eye

out for her at once, milady.

How shocking The toad, the monkey and

the dog all screwed up big time.

Hey, lady Satsuki, you wanted to have that blade confiscated.

Is it something we should be that worried about?

It's a w*apon designed to combat Goku uniforms. No way.

How does she have a w*apon like that?

What's her name? Ryuko. Matoi, milady.

Matoi. Interesting.

Father.

I'm sorry, Father. I was

this close to finding out who k*lled you.

If only I was strong enough, I'd b*at it out of her.

You should be careful what you wish for. Ryuko. Matoi.

Oh.

I never knew we had such a big basement.

Damn, I tore open that cut again.

I'd better look for a way out.

Wait. More. Give me more. Who's there? More.

I need more. Give me more. More.

The hell is that? A sailor uniform.

Don't leave. Put me on. Put me on. No. You

wear me and feed me blood. I don't want to go back to sleep.

You talk, sailor uniforms don't talk. Wasting time.

Don't be scared. Put me on. Put me on.

Put me on. Oh, God. Where'd you

learn to talk? That's not important right now.

It is important. Where do uniforms talk? Stop talking.

You don't put me on right now. I'll force you to put me on.

There you see? A perfect fit. Stop it.

Hey, new girl, are you listening? An hour from now,

we're going to execute your little friend.

She's an accessory to your crime of treason against Honnouji Academy.

If you want to save her life,

quit hiding like a coward. Sorry. So,

Mr. Principal, the student council. Animals. Do something.

This doesn't concern us, so stay out of it.

Kun's mother is the chair of the Academy's board of directors.

Therefore, Lady Satsuki is our lord and master.

We work for her, so there's nothing we can do about it.

Using a hostage is kind of cliché, don't you think?

If I fail again, my Goku uniform is going to be confiscated.

Since Mankanshoku is the only one we know

of who actually spoke to the new girl,

I don't have any other option.

It sounds like you got your priorities straight.

Good. Now get out there. Prove yourself. Oh, man.

Everyone at school is gonna see my underwear now.

I should have worn my sexy panties today. Bring out the zat.

Ta da! Hey, it's shrimp.

No way it is. Hey, that's oil.

He fried that sucker. He's gonna fry her shrimp.

Everyone's gonna see right through my uniform. This is.

What he did with that girl is

being incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.

Hang in there, sis. I'm coming to.

Hang on tight, okay?

So new girl, we meet again.

Using a hostage to get me here is pretty low.

You want to fight so bad? Well, here I am.

So let's duke it out one on one.

You're not in the club, but I can

make an exception today. Get ready.

I'm Gonnahave you like a freshman?

Yeah. You like that? The rings filling up

with my juggernaut of left jabs.

Hey, here comes the right straight. It's really a corkscrew.

Taking time.

Woo woo, woo woo woo! What the hell are you wearing?

None of your business. You're cheating.

Trying to distract me with your sexiness.

It's not my fault. It's like this. You slut.

How dare you? You're mocking the gentleman, sport. I am not.

All right, In that case, I'm stripping down too.

What? Now who's doing the mocking?

Time to take off the soft gloves

I use for away bouts and bring the pain.

What? Behold. This is what the real

Honnoji Academy Boxing Club athleticism augmenting to Cyclops look like.

I bet you're asking yourself, why did

he wrap them if I didn't?

The challengers from other schools would be too scared to fight me.

But when I bear them for all

the world to see, I feel even stronger.

It's my dog unit farm. I don't know the rules of boxing,

but I'm pretty sure those are illegal. Oh, well, bring it on.

I couldn't tell what you were hiding under that cloak of yours.

But now that you're half naked, I'm

going to rip that bikini to shreds and send you flying.

Hey.

What the hell Club looks like.

Your gloves. Not the only thing that turns the steel.

So does my outfit. Impossible. Impossible. Impossible.

Impossible. Impossible. Jeez, you call those punches.

Cause I'm not feeling anything. Whoa. What's she wearing?

I think it's a Goku uniform.

Huh? Huh? Huh? Whoa. I didn't know you could had a box.

Yeah. I don't think she really does.

But she's totally freaking awesome. So awesome. So unbelievably awesome.

Okay, now I get to have some fun.

Your.

Left jab and a right hook. And now an uppercut.

And for dessert. Right. Straight

Senese Sussex. Impossible Goku uniform was defeated.

Her scissor blade is powerful.

No, it isn't her blade. Now it's time to finish you.

How dare you? Stand down.

New girl. Where did you get your hands on that outfit?

I got it from my father.

Really? Yeah, really. Are you seeing this scissor blade?

It was left behind by the same scumbag that k*lled him.

And now you're gonna tell me who this belongs to? Satsuki Kiryuin.

The student council's next assassin is the tennis club captain Umeko Hakodate.

Ryuko can't summon my power, and she ends up in big trouble.

Next time on k*ll La k*ll. So sexy she might pass out.