01x14 - Ride Like the Wind

[bunniefuu]

No, please don't. For God's sakes, stop

Sancus.

You know, Don't you think it's kind

of weird how you're always waking up on my couch half naked?

Have you ever thought about being a nudist

anymore? Your lame jokes and you'll be eating this.

Okay. Okay. Relax. Who took you out this time?

It was Neue Huteimi disguised as Nagita.

Oh, that explains it. Wait. When you found me out there,

was I like this? Uh huh.

I hate to think what would have happened

if I got there any later, though.

If the cops came, they would have arrested

you for indecent exposure. Hope you're hungry. Someone's tasty.

Yeah. Well, what do you expect? Is gone.

Naihati Mae took him, Huh? Took him. She chopped him into pieces.

I was too weak to stop her and I couldn't summon his power.

And now he's gone. No, I'm not gone.

Your dumbass impersonations ain't helping things. I have

no idea what you're talking about.

I'm just sitting here listening to you. Calm down, Ryuko.

You did it again. I did not. He's right here.

It's a cat. Thank God you're alive.

I'm alive because you held on to me so tightly.

This is all that's left. Where are the rest of you go?

Your sleeves, your shoulders, your skirt.

I hate to say it, but that's

pretty much all I found when I got to you.

You were unconscious, holding on to that scrap

like your life depended on it.

I know where the rest of my body is.

It was divided up among the students on the raid trip.

The rest of you in Kansai, huh?

Yes. And it was all Satsuki Kiryuin

doing. Tamara's always screwing with me.

No. What are you doing down here, Mr. Misugi?

I'm here, kid, because I'm hanging up my teacher pants for good.

The time has come. Today I give

up my cover as a homeroom teacher at Honnoji Academy

and prance around in my true identity.

Oh, I'm really a splendid naked officer of Nudist Beach,

waging an all out w*r against the scourge of life fibers.

And now that the clothes are off,

let's rock. Come on. Nude sh**ting star.

Farewell Honnoji Academy.

What the hell is that about? Give me the blood.

You're so hot.

I've picked the students

with the highest life fiber tolerance and distributed

the scraps of Kamui Senketsu among them.

We've attached them to their school raid spec uniforms.

That way we can determine whether or not

the scraps can be used as a power

up to boost the uniforms abilities. Good.

The Kyoto Red Brigade led by Nonon Yakuza.

The Red Brigade, led by Era Gamagori

and the Osaka Red Brigade, led by Yuzuka Nagayama,

are in position and awaiting further orders.

The City Special Intelligence Unit is also standing by.

The info networks of all the schools in the city are ours.

Currently we're monitoring their telecom and net connections.

At your command, milady, we will shut the whole thing down.

Perfect. The success of this mission will

place all of Kansai's high schools under our umbrella.

Tri-City Schools Raid Trip Brigades. Begin your as*ault.

I'm with the comic Hobby high School armed faction Shuji Obayashi,

and I'm his deputy, Kenta Sakura Omiya.

There's no way in hell they're getting

through us. Ready? Watch the Molotovs.

We got the American High School on our

side and with their armored football corps, we'll crush these dicks.

Not so fast. You. I represent Honnoji

Academy as commander of the Kobe schools

raid trip Brigade. I'm IRA Nagori,

and since you've chosen to resist us,

we have no option but to retaliate. Enhanced committee members fallen.

What the hell? That does it. We're

going to mow you suckers down with our armored pads.

Team. Like

fire. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

School regulations are heavier than stone to a student,

and the guidebook that contains these rules is harder than steel.

No one can oppose Honnouji Academy's regulations.

They are ironclad. If you think your

armor can withstand our rules, then step forward.

Taste our full metal disciplinary guidebook regulations.

Huracan.

This is the might of Honnoji Academy.

The might and glory of Student Council President Lady Satsuki.

Let's play this fortissimo.

What the hell? Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Warriors of the East. We bid thee

a hearty welcome to our campus.

Gomo Academy has stood for a thousand years.

It is the linchpin of Kyoto's defenses and our ancient capital.

If thou wish to avoid a fate most painful.

Leave at once. Or if thou chooseth to stay,

thou shalt be baptized in a torrent

of demons and monsters. Oh, please, you uppity twerps.

No way. This dump has been around for a thousand years.

What is that?

They're gonna eat us.

Guardian student of the North Taro Genbu

Guardian Students of the South. Giru Suzaku.

Guardian student of the East. Saburo Sagi.

Guardian Student of the West. Byakko. We are the divine formation,

the impenetrable defense of Gabo Academy.

Try as the might. You can't or barbarians cannot defeat us.

Give me a break. Your, quote unquote

monsters are just a bunch of lame ass smoke effects.

Calm down, people. These jerks are just trying to psych you out.

What fascinating people. Would you mind if

I fought them for a while?

Where'd you come from? You're supposed to be in Osaka right now.

I am in Osaka. This is a hologram.

Courtesy of the film club, huh? Armed Arts Club. Advanced.

This is a non-Euclidean space creation ritual calculated by the Math Club.

Arts Club. This is your palate for a paradox painting.

Our barrier. What kind of sorcery is this? An Escher topology att*ck.

A what? att*ck. The Divine Formation used

Geomagnetism to blanket the arena with special

electromagnetic waves and in so doing,

caused disruptions in the nerve signals of the brain.

But the picture the Arts Club drew

just now altered the phase space in the arena

and interrupted their geomagnetism. We have negated their barrier.

I didn't get any of that except the part

about obnoxious jerk b*ating other obnoxious jerks.

Yes, well, you should have no trouble with them. Now. Look.

Thou art uncouth. And furthermore, your words

are strange. Prepare to be trounced.

Well, my work's done here. Yours has just begun.

Thanks for nothing. Okay, people, let's get Jack.

Armed wind instruments. Combat Orchestration. Pomp and circumstance.

What's up, you Honnoji Academy, dipshit. I'm

Kaneo Takarada Student Council President of Naniwa Kinman H.

Y'all might think you're the man up in Kobe

and Kyoto, but this is Osaka.

So unless you want my foot up your ass, get to steppin.

News travels fast in these parts, huh?

I thought we'd shut your communications off.

Who needs it? When I got the flapping

gums of all the grannies in Osaka on my side.

You might have put the net on lockdown,

but those chicks can spread a rumour

faster than a pimp can slap a ho. Yo, check it.

You in my house now, homie? The out

of the sack is a merchant town.

And money is what makes this place go round.

The team with the most colon wins up in Harlem.

Gee, what a douche. Well, here's the deal.

Your system's gotten stale, so we're here

to establish a new world order in the name of Satsuki Kiryuin.

I'm ordering you to surrender or face the consequences.

You talking crazy talk? You high or something?

Oh, criticizing our way of life.

You don't know the power of paper.

Well, we're going to wake your ass

up to reality by bitch slapping you in fat stacks of cash.

All right, homies, make it rain. You got it, G.

Those aren't b*ll*ts,

sir. They're not sh**ting b*ll*ts at us.

They're sh**ting wads of paper money. They're using money as a w*apon.

I'll put my dollars where my mouth is,

y'all. So get lost, you suckers.

This feels weird. Nothing like a legit banknote.

It's counterfeit. Nah, they ain't counterfeit. They

stuck around a book. Taco. What?

I could write a book. Yo, that's bona fide currency.

If it's got the takarada syndicate's name on it,

it's as good as gold in Osaka.

Hell, they're worth more than that. Broke ass Japanese paper.

Didn't you know? Oh, right. Yo. From Northern Kanto.

Son of a. One more cr*ck about Northern Kanto,

and I'm going to grind you into konyaku.

Keep dreaming, cause we gonna turn your asses into Takoyaki. First Yakima

Armored Ping-Pong Club, front and center.

Are you ready? Sumo Club. Stomp! att*ck.

Archery and track clubs move up your ultra long range squads.

Alone. Everything you got on him.

Not bad, son. Nice. Now storm the building.

Yelling. Sid. Where's the bag? Who can resist Goku uniforms.

What you think to carry you into the only game in town.

Takarada Syndicate. Cash is no joke, dog.

But

it's gonna suck so bad. If I came all this way and all I got

to do was hand these stupid balls off.

Oh, my God. It's the symbol of Osaka,

a street vendor selling jumbo takoyaki.

It's not a trip to Osaka if I didn't get to eat some.

Was forced to come here. And now

I'm here and I don't even know why I'm here.

I didn't bring any money because I didn't bring my wallet.

I wish there was someone throwing money around here.

No way. I found a guy sh**ting money out of a g*n. Oh.

Ha ha. Step up for a one way ticket to hell.

Surely I'd like a one way ticket to heaven, please.

Go on, sh**t it. Come on, sh**t me.

Nothing can keep me from getting what I want.

When there's something I really, really want.

So sh**t me. Don't wait for me. Oh.

What the hell?

Hey there. Now, please, doesn't takoyaki.

How much will this buy? Wow.

They got Osaka okonomiyaki that you eat

with a spatula here and kushikatsu that you

shouldn't double dip and kitsune and not kitsune udon.

They even got Boozman, Oekaki Nagi yaki and more.

Now this is Osaka. A miracle mile. And.

One last platoon to go.

Sorry about the cock block,

but we wanted to show you a little something.

We had our pals in the Russian mob smuggle in,

and if there's one thing we know,

no p*ssy ass uniforms can stand up to a t*nk.

Resistance is futile. Your t*nk's like paper against our ironclad roofs.

Booyah. Check out Kobe's new product composite Meet armor.

What'd you think about that, bruh?

Look at how your ironclad rules get swallowed

up by all that beautiful Kobe beef. They're melting in the marbling.

Now, why don't you be a good boy and give up Gamagori.

Why don't you try to make me?

You heard the dumb ass fire fortified disciplinary unit.

sh*t's coming back. Yo.

Now, Tod gonna him. That feels good.

Um, those Kamui power ups are unbelievable.

I like. Now finish them.

It's now

that your little toy is out of commission. Surrender peacefully or else.

No.

Damn you, my toy. Don't mind me. Just get sick. Heads back.

They keep pounding them with your sound.

You guys make such beautiful music with your hammering hands.

Well, that just about does it.

Are you doing here? Relax. I don't got time for you.

She can't talk to me like that.

Oh, my balls. What'd you expect? It's a bamboo sword.

Gameguru and yakuza are wrapping things up on their end.

How are you doing? We b*at down

most of the kids from on high, so you might as well tell Lady

Satsuki Osaka will be ours soon.

Not if I could help it. It won't play you.

Takarada you straight up. Underestimate my power up in here.

Damn kitties and the outlet peeps in my pocket. Hi, all.

Bastard. You've got civilians fighting

for you to sh**t at you.

But these homies ain't your average everyday G's G.

These combat citizens paid for by yours truly.

They don't look like much. But these b*tches is tough.

And they want money so bad they itch in the throat at.

Wow. That's got to be the nanny Skytower.

They just built that. I'm so going to the top of it.

I don't know why, but every time

I see a tall building, I have to climb it.

You like that? Me and the I heart

Osaka Brigade can do it all day.

My homies love paper and they gon do what they can to get it.

So if you want my town, you gon have to k*ll all of us.

You're all freaking crazy. If we go on like

this, we're going to level Osaka.

We just build it back up again. Yo,

the contractors don't care because they gonna love the extra work.

Okay, homies who scales this hit gets

a million Taco Rider books. Who down to get to.

Looks like someone's outnumbered. For real.

You're kidding. Say what? What's up with that? Right?

Lady Satsuki.

Holy.

And get My God shook. What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be in the brigade.

You deserted your post to go goof around the city, didn't you?

You think this rain trip's for fun? Time to get b*rned out.

Ooh! Get your hands off her. Here you go.

I guess you had a rough day.

Chilling and sightseeing, huh? You don't even know the half of it.

Through. Chopped up like a salad. Yeah,

but I'm gonna get him back to normal.

As soon as I find all the pieces,

I'm going to make them good as new.

I know you will. After all, he's your only uniform.

There is only one piece left. Awesome.

How are you doing, though? Doing rather well, actually.

But you've changed a lot. What do you mean?

The only part of me giving you

power right now is this scarf. You fashioned.

And yet you've destroyed every Goku uniform

that had a piece of me sewn onto it.

You're even stronger now than you were before. Really?

How did I get stronger? It's because the thing

you want the most is almost in reach.

You're so obsessed with getting sin gets back to normal.

It's giving you the strength to kick all this.

But I like that. Only I get fixated over money.

I heard that. And when it comes to fixations, you're hardcore.

You got to be hardcore about fixated rates. Yeah.

Okay. One to go. You know where it is? Sandcats. Yes, I do.

However. What? The person who has the final piece is Satsuki. Kiryuin.

Satsuki.

Whatever. I don't care if she's got it.

I'm going to get you back to normal.

But in my current condition, life fiber synchronization is impossible.

How do you plan on fighting her?

Don't worry. I'll just make up for what you can't do.

Like you said, I'm not the same old Ryuko anymore.

I'm stronger because I got my sights

on something and I'm going to get it.

Ain't that right, Miko? Here you go.

Here I come. Satsuki Kiryuin.

Money talks in Osaka. They're money mad in Osaka. Ryuko shows

up looking for the scattered pieces of her Kamui Senketsu.

Will Kamui Sandcats be put back together? Wait, I'm talking about me.

Next time on k*ll La k*ll. Don't stop me now.