Fact or fiction?
Fiction or fact?
Fact or fiction?
Fiction or fact? Fact.
Fact.
Fiction, fiction!
Fact.
THUD
What the...?
These people are bonkers.
And what have you come as?
Lena Pavlov -
the Russian detective
created by Osric Wolf.
Fans like to dress up as
their favourite characters.
Welcome to my annual crime-writing
weekend - m*rder With Tea.
This year, there will
be a special award
for the best crime novel
written by a Cotswolds writer.
And it's in honour of the great
whodunnit novelist Osric Wolf,
who very sadly took his
own life a year ago today.
As well as the Quill
of Osric Award,
there will be a very
generous cash prize of £75
kindly donated by my friend
the Earl of Wiltshire.
And, in the meantime,
there will be quizzes
and readings for your
entertainment. So, please, do enjoy.
APPLAUSE
Sir Kingsley, congratulations
on your Cabinet appointment.
I was hoping for Defence, but
Education will suffice for now.
I hope it doesn't mean
you've stopped writing.
I'll have a large glass
of red wine, please.
You what? I'm not a waitress.
Oh, my mistake.
I understand your son is nominated
for the Quill of Osric Award.
Yes. I haven't read
his new book yet,
but I damn well hope it's
better than his last.
I finished it last night.
I thought it was excellent.
Thank you, Father.
Oh, Lady Violet.
Kingsley. As radiant as ever.
How are you?
Well, I'm somewhat surprised...
..at the nomination of that
so-called writer that you sponsor.
Conflict of interest?
Not at all.
The judges are impartial
and independent.
Really. Hm. Well, if your
boy wins, we'll all know why.
Come along, Jack.
You are going to do a
reading. I'm not sure.
Don't be so spineless!
With that attitude,
you'll never be a winner.
Sorry. At your age, I was
on the bestseller list.
I know, but the thing
is... And now look at me -
knighted, government minister.
In a few years, I could
be running the country.
You think so?
Absolutely!
It's all about this...
..positive thinking.
Two minutes -
I want you on that stage.
Still under Daddy's shadow?
Please can we not do this? This is
a competition for talented writers.
So you might as
well go home now.
Lady Violet. Hm?
How good of you to honour
the memory of Osric Wolf.
Oh, well, he was the first
ever writer I sponsored.
I knew he'd become a recluse,
but I'd no idea of the
depth of his melancholy.
Oh, it's awful.
And such a shame he was
denied a Catholic burial.
I know su1c1de is seen as a sin,
but it... I don't know,
it just seemed so unfair.
Ladies and gentleman, Jack
Wilmot will shortly read
an extract from his latest
novel, The Eye Of Lykos.
APPLAUSE
Oh, darling, look at your tie.
Please don't be angry, but I've just
heard Jack is the new favourite.
Walter.
Oh! Oh! I'm so sorry.
Not to worry. I drink
far too much, anyway.
Can I just say how
wonderful it is
you've named the award after
the great Osric Wolf. Ah.
I... Quiet, please!
"With warts on every finger
and a head of flaming red hair,
"the child was a
target for bullies.
"Is it any wonder
that, later in life,
"the desire for justice
would become all-consuming?
"In the holier than thou town,
deceit and lies corrupted all.
"None more so than the Baroness.
"By night, the air in her
chamber was heavy with lust.
"The French ambassador, the
bishop and the post master...
Oh! "..being regular
frequenters."
Oh. Sweetheart... Are you all right?
It's just a little racy for me.
Um...
"By day..."
Um...
Um...
Jack!
You get back in there! I'm sorry. I know I
messed up, but it won't happen again, I swear...
I can't believe you've
done this again!
Such a silly boy. He keeps
losing his nerve onstage.
I hope he's all right.
And what paper are
you from? Sorry?
Ever since my
Cabinet appointment,
you lot have been sniffing
around for a salacious story.
I was hoping for a
chat about your son.
I'm a literary agent.
What company?
Darcey and Phenn.
Miss Lipton.
My apologies.
Um, I wonder whether I
can take your details? Mm.
Jack's agent is useless.
Do you have a copy of his novel?
Yes, of course. Um, this way.
What exactly is your game? Hm?
Game?
With the reading. Are you...
..deliberately trying
to humiliate me?
It... It's just fiction.
Oh, really?! It's just
an extract from my novel.
I don't know what this is about.
I'm warning you -
you do not want to
make an enemy of me.
Oh, snap.
They say it's his best novel.
What do you think?
It's just that I'm thinking
of representing the author,
so the more...
Shut up about him!
Oh, not again.
Sorry. If this continues, I shall
go home smelling like a winery.
I take it you're not
a fan of Jack Wilmot?
He only got published because
Daddy's a famous writer.
Oh. Father,
I hope he hasn't had
another go at his son.
There's been a m*rder!
It's sort of a game.
A m*rder mystery.
In one of Osric Wolf's
lesser-known stories,
the lady of the
manor is m*rder*d.
So the suspects are the
husband, the butler,
the chef, the milkman
or the chauffeur.
I think I've got it.
The clues are all there.
It could be the milkman.
What do you think?
How would she know?
Miss Palmer? Um...
Well...
..the old dear probably just dropped
the milk when she was att*cked.
And that blood on her
neck is too dark...
Looks more like
beetroot. Well spotted.
So, my guess is that the chef
had been preparing beetroot
with his hands when
he strangled her.
Oh, you're very good at
this. Absolutely right!
Ha-ha!
Where is Mr Wilmot?
He hasn't come back out.
I think I'll check how he is.
She treats him like a toddler.
Who? Well, if you took your
glasses off, you'll see.
Sir Kingsley, a moment please.
There is a chain dangling
from Jack's waistcoat.
Did he own a pocket
watch? Yes, yes, he did.
Do you think whoever
att*cked him stole it?
Possibly. Would Jack have been
carrying any other valuables?
Well, only his wallet. There was
no wallet on his person, sir.
Sorry, there have
been tramps sleeping
in the outbuildings, recently.
Thank you, Lady Violet.
Looks like the motive
could have been robbery.
I disagree.
That was a violent att*ck.
Someone tried to k*ll him.
A crime at a
crime-writing event.
Well, there's no way
he can resist that.
We need to find out
if Mr Wilmot remembers
anything about his attacker.
Ah, well, I saw Lady Violet
thr*aten him earlier.
thr*aten? Yeah. It was
something about humiliating her.
I'm not exactly sure, though.
Maybe Mr Wilmot can
shed some light.
We'll look for clues
while you're gone.
Ah, Isobel. Hello. Hi. Sir Kingsley
mentioned a literary agent who was
interested in Jack Wilmot.
It's Miss Lipton.
Thank you. Would you mind
pointing her out to me?
Um... Oh, I can't see her, but
I'll let you know if I spot her.
Thank you. Your detective costume
really suits you, by the way.
Spasibo.
Oh!
I can't work out if
she's your mam or not.
She's a patron of the arts.
A what? She supports me.
Pays for things. Oh, blimey.
You've got it made.
You reckon? Mm.
Where I grew up I had nowt.
But at least I could
do what I wanted.
Temporary amnesia,
the doctor says.
He can't remember a thing.
We'll come back when he's awake.
All right, Father?
Sarge! I was passing.
Yes, this is a police investigation,
Father, I suggest you leave now.
Unbelievable.
Let's get back to the manor.
Why pretend to be asleep?
Sorry.
It's just if my father
knows I'm awake,
he'll make me go back.
And you don't want to?
Not after what happened.
Must be difficult being the
son of a famous novelist.
No matter what I do...
..it's just never good enough.
I don't know what to
do any more, Father.
What do you remember
about the att*ck?
Nothing.
It's all a blank.
The police think that your
wallet and watch were stolen.
My wallet's in my
overcoat in the car.
And the watch, it's...
it's not worth much.
No?
It was the first prize I
ever won for writing. Ah.
I was a student at Gloucester.
So why would someone
want to take it?
And I'm told Lady
Violet threatened you.
That was nothing to
do with the watch.
She accused me of...
..of humiliating her.
It made no sense.
The next m*rder mystery
game is about to begin -
the missing corpse. The
k*ller chef has struck again.
We can win this - hands down.
We're meant to be looking
for clues to the att*ck.
Yeah, well, we can do both.
Ladies and gentlemen,
for your safety,
all participants should
remain in pairs or groups.
Right, sir, we've interviewed
everyone except that agent -
Miss Lipton.
She still can't be found,
sir. Well, we need to...
What the...? That looks
like blood, sir. Um...
No, actually it's pretend blood.
Tomato sauce. It's for
the m*rder mystery game.
Of course.
Isobel.
Hello. I'm just
looking for clues.
Well, if you find anything, I'd
appreciate if you told me before...
Before Father Brown?
Sorry, I don't want to put
you in an awkward position.
Oh, any position is fine by me.
Oi!
Mrs Devine!
Over here.
Eh, look.
Is that flour?
BOTH: The k*ller chef!
Which means the missing
corpse could be close.
There's another one!
I've just been to see Mr Wilmot.
How is he? Doing well.
Hm. Although a little confused
as to why you threatened him.
Regrettably, I did overreact.
But Jack did break the rules.
Rules? Well, I informed
all the writers
that any readings
must be tasteful.
Jack's extract was
salacious, to say the least.
I didn't know where to look.
I see.
Oh, really Father, you
don't believe that I...
The Quill of Osric Award -
it's been stolen.
Chief Inspector!
So, where now? Um,
follow the stream.
You go left, I'll go right.
But let's keep each other
in sight. Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
Sergeant.
I think you should
look for the award
close to where Mr
Wilmot was found.
You think it was
used to att*ck him?
Do you know more than
you're letting on, Father?
Well, both the watch and the
award were literary prizes.
The one Mr Wilmot won,
the other he's favourite to win.
WOMAN SCREAMS
Help me!
Agh! Oh, goodness!
No, it's a re-enactment!
Well done, Sergeant.
Oh, goodness.
Um... I'm so sorry.
Are you all right?
Found the corpse!
Found the corpse!
Well done!
Father Brown!
Another att*ck while we were
on the premises, Sergeant.
Miss Lipton hadn't
been seen for a while.
She may have been att*cked
before you arrived.
So do you think the attacker wanted to
k*ll his victims, or just hurt them?
What links her to Mr Wilmot?
Why att*ck those two?
Perhaps one of the whodunnit
characters is targeting
random guests.
And who would take
a worthless watch?
Hope you're not too distressed
by the att*ck, Mrs Devine.
Oh, no. I-I'm fine.
It was Brenda who saw
Miss Lipton first and,
well, she doesn't
seem too worried.
Come on, get out
of bed. What for?
Just do it!
Now, towards me.
Touch your toes.
Is this really necessary?
There. You seem fine.
I might have delayed concussion.
Oh, mindset of a loser.
Remember what I said -
positive thinking.
Yeah. Staying away
is not an option.
Don't want people thinking you've
got something to hide, do we?
RADIO: There's a huge roar
from the crowd as Lewisham Girl
brings out... RADIO STOPS
There he is.
Father Brown would like you
to sign a copy of your novel.
Sure.
Thank you.
Your tie and handkerchief...
..do I recognise the colours
of Gloucester University?
Yeah.
Am I right in thinking
Mr Wilmot also
studied at Gloucester University?
Yes, they were there at the same time.
Oh, dear.
Then you would have
lost out to him
when he won the
student's literary prize?
I was cheated -
robbed of the award.
Walter was tipped to win.
But why this sudden
interest, Father?
I was thinking...
DOOR OPENS
..you have a very close
connection to Mr Wilmot's watch.
Are you accusing me?
Just pointing out that it has
a very particular value to you.
Walter?
Walter...
..did you take it?
No.
Perhaps you should
empty your pockets.
Now.
Have... Have we met?
Miss Lipton.
The agent.
My father mentioned you.
I was att*cked, like you.
Someone hit me.
I didn't see who.
I don't understand.
Why us two?
I was hoping you could tell me.
Writers can
sometimes be targets.
Do you think it could have
something to do with your novel?
It's just a story.
A novel is much more
than that, it's a writer
revealing their
thoughts, their identity.
Can't you remember
anything at all?
No.
I know it's not how...
..men should be...
..but I'm scared.
I'm scared about what
they might do next.
Me, too.
I took it from his pocket when
he arrived. Settling a score?
I wanted to get back
at him, hurt him.
It should have been mine! Sir,
I found it in the
grass, by the stream.
Blood.
Did you think this award
should belong to you, too?
With Jack Wilmot as favourite,
you must have been livid
that he might b*at
you again. Yes!
But that doesn't mean
I wanted him dead.
Perhaps the prize money
was also a factor.
When Lady Violet and I came in the
room, you turned off the radio.
RADIO: crosses the line first
and Durley Dean in second.
Mint Sunrise crosses in third.
What a sensational
comeback. RADIO STOPS
Have you started again?
I'm sorry.
But my plan was to win back the
prize money and clear my debts.
But it all fell apart
because of Jack.
Arrest him, Sergeant.
But I swear - I'm innocent.
I-I just don't know
what to think any more.
Chief Inspector, he clearly
had a grudge against Mr Wilmot,
but what on earth would be his
motive for attacking Miss Lipton?
Not your concern, Father.
Walter Mitford, I'm arresting you
on suspicion of attempted m*rder
and robbery.
You're not obliged to say
anything, but anything you do say
may be given in evidence.
DRINK POURING
There you are.
What are you reading?
Lady Violet's events programme.
Oh, he's got that look again.
My Uncle Arthur used
to have that look -
when he couldn't go
to the lavvy. Lovely.
Interesting.
Interviews with the nominated
writers, including Walter.
He mentions all the literary
agencies that rejected him -
one being Darcey and Phenn.
The agency Miss
Lipton works for.
Do you think that's why he
clobbered her? It's hardly a motive.
Writers get dozens of
rejections every year.
Maybe Walter was right
and he really is innocent.
In which case, the attacker
is still out there.
In which case,
Mr Wilmot and Miss Lipton
are in more danger than ever.
Welcome to day two.
Miss Lipton, it's so good
to see you out of hospital.
After what happened, I assumed
most guests would have stayed away.
Oh, a chance for crime fans to
be part of a real-life crime?
No, they wouldn't miss it for
the world. So good to see you.
Miss Lipton,
I was hoping to speak with you -
about your distressing
experience.
There's very little
I can tell you.
Do you think that Walter Mitford
is guilty of attacking you?
I've... no idea.
We'd barely even spoken.
What about anybody else?
Someone with a grudge, perhaps?
If you want the truth, Father,
it's beyond me why anyone would.
It doesn't make sense.
No.
Excuse me.
So now what?
I see Mr Wilmot has
got his watch back.
Why was Walter so convinced
that he should have won it?
Yes.
Why?
And for God's sake,
keep it together.
And don't go too far.
I'll find us a cup of tea.
Hello again.
Sorry - miles away.
I just wanted to say
thank you for listening.
Is there something wrong?
You read in the papers about
attackers and murderers...
..but you never think you'll
come face-to-face with one.
Uh, maybe, when all of
this is over, we could...
..uh, should meet up.
I mean to, uh, to, uh,
go over some things more.
It could help us both.
Yes. Yes, I'd like that.
Jack!
Um... HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
Oh. Please, spare
me the sermon.
Actually, I'm here to find
out the truth. Really?
You said you were cheated
out of the prize watch.
Did you mean that literally?
I couldn't prove it, but there were
rumours that Jack's winning story
was stolen from an
out-of-print book.
Do you think he's capable of
doing something like that again?
His new novel's just too good.
Why didn't you tell
all this to the police?
Accusing Jack of cheating would
have given them what they wanted -
an even stronger motive.
Rumours.
What happened about them?
His father got involved and
it all magically went away.
Wait...
Sir Kingsley was privy to his
son cheating at university.
Ladies and gentlemen, the
judges have made their decision.
And so without further ado,
the Quill of Osric
Award nominees are...
..James Lansford for The
Return Of Lulu And Lucia,
Uncle Mirth for
Goodbye, Mr Kafka,
Jack Wilmot for
The Eye Of Lykos,
and Walter Mitford for
The Stiletto Dagger.
And the winner is...
..Jack Wilmot.
What are you waiting for?
Unfortunately, the award is in
the possession of the police,
due to... It being
splattered with blood. Sh!
..due to it's need
for their inquiries
but I am able to present
the prize money to the
very worthy winner.
APPLAUSE
Uh, it's a great honour
to win this award.
And, um,
a big thank you
to everyone who...
..who enjoyed my novel.
Agh! Oh, steady now.
Sit him down.
He's just a little overwhelmed.
Your son is still
suffering from his injury.
Let's get him into the house.
I'm sure he'll be fine.
It's nothing to worry about.
Sir Kingsley, might I
have a private word?
Oh, yes, of course.
It's a sensitive issue,
but it may be linked
to the att*cks.
Fire away.
Did your son cheat
at university?
Whatever happened,
it's all in the past.
But history may be
repeating itself.
Yesterday, when you grabbed him,
what was it you said?
I can't remember.
"You've done it again."
Done what exactly?
Cheat? Leave it be, Father.
It would certainly explain why
you were so angry with him.
Look, if the press get hold of this,
my political career will be ruined,
so I suggest you drop it.
You are missing the point.
I believe Walter
may be innocent.
If so, then the attacker
is still on the loose.
Your answers may help solve
the crime. If you stay quiet,
then your son may end up dead.
HE CLEARS THROAT Look, um...
..I knew Jack hadn't
written the novel.
The style - it just wasn't his.
When did you realise?
When he did his reading.
There were things in it he
couldn't possibly know -
based on real
people. Who exactly?
Well, wasn't it obvious
when he did the reading?
Lady Violet dropped her teacup
when the Baroness
character was mentioned.
How did your son
acquire the novel?
Look, he said he was approached by
some lowlife thief at a book fair.
He sold him some bundle of
unpublished manuscripts.
Who is the thief?
He didn't know him.
How is Mr Wilmot?
He's, um... He's
resting in the house.
I've been thinking
about his novel,
in particular, one of the
characters - the Baroness.
And why that
particular character?
Forgive me, Lady Violet,
the last thing I want to
do is to embarrass you.
You know, don't you?
Yes.
You must think me terrible.
I'm not here to judge.
But anything you can
tell me about your past
may help to prove
Walter's innocence.
Very well. But, um,
please understand I'm
not proud of what I did.
I understand.
After Father d*ed I, um...
..I went off the rails a little.
All the affairs.
I was a very different
person back then.
You must have been scared that Mr
Wilmot would reveal everything?
That's why you threatened him.
Who exactly knows
about your past?
Kingsley knew that I was friends
with the French ambassador.
But the only person I
told everything to was
the only man I've ever loved...
..Osric Wolf.
The title of Mr Wilmot's
novel is The Eye Of Lykos.
Lykos is Greek for wolf.
I'm sorry, what are you saying?
I think Osric wrote the novel.
Well, we know that Jack tried to
pass Osric's novel off as his own.
But who wants him dead?
Well, my guess is
Lady what's-her-face -
trying to save her reputation.
What about Sir Kingsley?
In a fit of rage,
worried the truth might
ruin his political career.
But neither of them has a
motive to att*ck Miss Lipton.
No. We are missing something.
Maybe Walter is
guilty, after all.
He's still the only one who's
connected to Miss Lipton.
Though lots of agencies rejected
him, not just Darcey and Phenn.
What are you looking for,
Father? Walter's interview.
Oh.
Perhaps someone is not
who they say they are.
Who?
Mrs Devine, would you be so good as
to reprise the extract Jack read?
Of course.
Right.
"With warts on every finger
and a head of flaming red hair,
"the child was a target
for bullies..." Yes.
That's it.
It all makes sense now.
DOOR CREAKS
You wanted his words.
Well, here they are!
SHE GASPS
Miss Lipton.
I know you're not
a literary agent.
How did you find out?
When you gave your
details to Sir Kingsley,
you misspelt Darcey and Phenn.
Phenn is spelt with
a P-H, not an F,
and two Ns.
So who am I? In the novel, Lykos's
daughter has flaming red hair
and warts on her fingers.
Your hair is dyed, but your
eyebrows still have a tinge of red.
And you never take
off your gloves.
You're Osric Wolf's daughter.
I came here yesterday because
it was in honour of my father.
But then I heard Jack's reading.
And you recognised
your father's writing.
He would never have
given his work away.
Mr Wilmot says he purchased
the novel from a thief.
He was lying! I saw him
smoking a black cigarette -
just like the one I saw
on my father's roof.
He was there.
So you confronted him?
I remember.
It was you.
In memory of Osric Wolf.
My father.
The Eye Of Lykos was
clearly written by him.
It includes part
of my childhood.
And your black cigarette
was on the roof.
I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
SHE SHRIEKS
Oh!
I was living in Paris when
I heard about his su1c1de.
It just didn't make any sense.
I never meant to hurt him.
Fact or fiction? To
become a better writer,
I engaged Osric to tutor me.
Fact or fiction?
Fiction or fact?
Within weeks, his mental
state had deteriorated.
Fiction or fact?
Fact or fiction?
Fiction or fact?
He could barely remember
writing his new novel.
Fact!
He was like a child.
Osric.
Please will you give
me the manuscript?
Fiction!
Aargh! No, no, no, no!
SHE BREATHES RAPIDLY
Argh!
This is not the way.
Is this worth hanging for?
Is this worth going to hell?
I never even made it
back for his funeral.
It was an accident.
I just wanted to make you proud.
Please forgive me.
It's not his forgiveness
you should beg for...
..it's Miss Wolf's... SHE SOBS
..and God's.
Come along, miss.
I knew it was Miss Lipton.
Really?
I expected too much of him.
He's always been weak.
Like a character in
one of your novels,
he was shaped and
manipulated by you.
Sergeant, one moment.
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT Look, um,
despite the shame you've brought,
I'll get you a good solicitor.
No.
Now, listen to me... I said no.
I'm glad they're
locking me away -
so I can be rid of you.
Jack, you're confused.
It's the injury. Actually,
things have never been clearer.
I finally get it.
Positive thinking.
That's enough. In you get.
Well, don't look
at me like that!
In light of recent events,
the prize for the best crime
novel by a Cotswolds author
shall be given to
a different writer.
Therefore, the winner of the
Quill of Osric Award is...
..Osric Wolf.
What's he doing? Not sure.
MUSIC ON SOUNDTRACK
In nomine Patris et Filii
et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.
Now that we know that Osric
Wolf did not take his own life,
I am honoured to be
able to bless his grave.
I am the resurrection and
the life... I like it loose.
He that believes in me... Sorry.
..though he be dead,
he will live on.
Whoever has life and has faith in
me, to all eternity will not die.
Amen. OTHERS: Amen.