01x06 - The Dead Letter File

[bunniefuu]

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

No problem. Blanding's
with a customer.

Rick? Rick, good morning.

Where's my
suitcase? In the trunk?

What suitcase?

The one I called you
about this morning.

About an hour ago. The
one you borrowed from me.

That was you on the phone?

At 8:00 in the morning?

That was me on the phone.

Rick, I've got a paid vacation and I would
like to take some of my clothes with me.

I thought that was
Mom on the phone.

No, it was me on the phone.

You said you'd bring
my... Hey, hey, hey!

JANET: Would you
leave him in the car?

Marlowe, get back in there.

Go on. Get. Get up there.

I meant you.

Stay.

[WHINING]

Cute. "I meant you."

[MOCKING]

BLANDING: Before
we go nationwide,

Mr. Blanding's Dream
Boats, in every major marina.

'Course, what you see
here is just the start.

How come Myron didn't
wanna take this job?

Daddy doesn't know about it.

Mister Blanding didn't
want to pay his rate.

Long Island Sound, Lake Havasu.

If you guys do right by me, it
could mean $100,000 a year to you.

BLANDING: 'Course,
now that's the future.

This here's the present.

Everyone's gotta
start somewhere,

so you can start by
repo-ing this deadbeat for me.

Name's Johnson.

Three months behind in the
payments on a deluxe cabin cruiser.

A repo? Now, here's the keys.

Slip number's on it.

I figure this
job's worth, say...

Oh, $100,000.


money or the dreamboat.

No wonder Myron
didn't wanna take this job.

We'll take it.

Good. Sic them.

[CHUCKLING]

[SIGHING]

[GROANS]

RICK: Is that a face
or a fist with eyes?

Rick, I need the suitcase.
I'm going on vacation.

I'm going with you.
A.J. can handle the repo.

Oh, you're not going with
me. You'd cramp my style.

I'm gonna go up the coast,
alone with my suitcase.

You say it's black and it's got
a funny-looking trim on it, right?

No, no, it is brown,
and it is very expensive,

and I just loaned
it to you last month.

It's gotta be on my
boat somewhere.

Don't worry about it.

We'll swing by and pick
it up on the way back.

On the way back from where?

Repo.

Bye-bye.

[STAMMERING] Oh, listen,

can you please just stay here and
watch the store for us until we get back?

Pretty please?

I am on vacation, A.J. Remember?

I know that, but we've
got a secretary coming.

We called an agency and everything,
but she can't be here till 11:00, okay?

Look, if we're not back by then,

just show her how to
water the plants. All right?

Please.

All right.

Oh, thank you.

"Dear Arthur..." Do
we know an Arthur?

Art Schamsky, seventh grade.

[EXCLAIMS]

Listen, do me a favor and forward that
to the post office. They made a mistake.

Thank you very much.

HAAS: That's him all right.

'Course, he ain't been
around for a few weeks.

Just upped anchor and
left in the middle of the night.

Still owes me two... Three
months rent on the slip.

Naturally.

Mr. Johnson didn't, by any chance, happen
to leave a forwarding address, did he?

[LAUGHING] You got some
sense of humor, you have.

Yeah, that's right. Sure thing.

Then we check with
the Coast Guard,

we find out if the guy had any
floating violations and where.

I think you...

No, that won't work, 'cause the Coast
Guard won't talk to us anymore, remember?

Not since that smuggling
case. They say we lied to them.

That's probably 'cause
we lied to them. Any calls?

No, but I think...

What happened to the
secretary. Didn't she show up?

I phoned the agency,
and Muffin is lost.

Muffin? Muffin?

Muffin Goldstein. Listen...

RICK: Hey, I got an idea. What?

What we can do, we call
Cal National Bank, right?

We find out where Johnson's
checks have been coming in from,

'cause they're
probably bouncing.

The bank isn't gonna
cooperate with us.

Our checks have been bouncing.

Hey!

Thank you.

I really think you
should read this letter.

"Dear Arthur."

"Please do not open
the enclosed envelope

"unless something
happens to me. Conrad...

"Vi..."

Viorst.

AJ; “out? Mmm-hmm.

Wow.

You'd better get this
to Arthur right away.

That's the point.
I can't. He's dead.

Arthur Hayjak used
to have this office.

He d*ed about three years ago...

Wow. No kidding.

Well, we ought to get it to
this Conrad fellow, Viorst.

Can't get it to him,
either. He's dead, too.

I called the County
Hall of Records,

and they said he d*ed
in an automobile accident

about 23 years ago.

What!

Janet, that's impossible.

The letter was only written...

When?

July 21st, 1959.

Yup. One day before Viorst d*ed.

[WHISTLING] Weird.

Well, it gets weirder.

I opened the envelope.

"Dear Arthur."

"I was right all along.

"Ben Dodge is a m*rder*r."

The Ben Dodge? The Taco King?

"I got the evidence and
put it where we agreed,

"behind the sixth
brick from the bottom

"on the right-hand side
of the fireplace. Conrad."

Oh, this is terrific.

We got a 23-year-old
m*rder case here,

with a suspect you could
read about in People magazine.

You know, if we solve this thing,
we could be in People magazine.

Well, too bad, we've
got a repo to do.

Hey, we're never gonna
have to do another repo again.

Now, we already
know the m*rder*r.

All we need to find
is the murderee.

All we need to
find is the fireplace.

Right.

All we need to find is where
Conrad Viorst lived in 1959.

Right.

You don't even have to do that.

I already did.

Janet. Yes.

You are indispensable.

I know. Stay by the phone,
will you? We'll be in touch.

Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Wait a minute.

I'm on vacation, remember?

And besides, I didn't hear
anybody saying anything

about me being in
People magazine.

And where is my suitcase?

Oh, you can't leave yet, 'cause I
don't have your suitcase yet, right?

And, besides that, what's-her-name
could show up any minute.

Uh, Cupcake. Muffin.

Muffin. We'll call you. Right.

Remember. Suitcase.

RICK: Okay, now, it's 11:20.

A.J.: What number do we want?



There's 28.

There's 30, 32.

What's this?

Stop. Stop the car.

RICK: You see the number three
lane on the freeway down there?

Yeah.

That's where Conrad Viorst's
fireplace is supposed to be.

Terrific.

[GRUMBLES]

DODGE ON MICROPHONE: Tacos, as
everybody knows, are an all-American food.

And that's why,
in just 25 years,

our firm has grown

from one tiny, eensy-beensy,
itty-bitty little stand

in downtown San Diego

into a nationwide chain that,
as of today, numbers 2,000,

You ever see him eat a taco?

Nope. Not in 25 years.

The bottle, my dear.

How are things
looking for tonight?

Perfect. He thinks
he's going out to dinner,

and then home for
a nice, quiet evening

with the auditor's report.

He'll never even
start those reports.

I told the boys from Detroit

to call you the minute
they get in town.

They'll be using
the name of Smith.

Good.

I hereby Christen this

Taco City number 2,000,

On the other hand, why should we
waste this good champagne on a wall,

while we can just as easily be
pouring it down the parched throats

of over-worked reporters.
The bar's open, Scarf it up, kids.

[ALL CHEERING]

Mr. Dodge, is it true you gave an
engagement ring to Princess Rima of Bukart?

HARRISON: Mr. Dodge
has no comment.

What about the rumor that you use
no meat in your tacos, Mr. Dodge?

Hi, Mr. Dodge. I'd like to ask
you a few questions for a minute.

We told reporters
no more questions.

Yeah, I know, I'm not a
reporter, I'm a private detective.

Yeah, well, why don't
you give us a call, friend?

Mr. Dodge, does the name
Conrad Viorst mean anything to you?

Conrad Viorst, Mr. Dodge.
Maybe you could tell us a little

about how he d*ed in 1959.

Maybe we should call a doctor.

No, no, I'll be all right.
Just give me some water.

What do you make of
that? It's been 23 years.

Ben, don't get excited.

Don't get excited?

That's what they said to Marie
Antoinette, for God's sake.

Get the door for me, would you?

Okay.

Be careful with it.

A.J.: All right, watch yourself.

What is that?

That's your suitcase, isn't it?

It's brown.

Couldn't you take it anyway?

Sure. I'll just put
some wheels on it

and I'll drive it. It's
bigger than my car.

Oh.

Well, did you find the
fireplace and get the evidence?

No, Conrad Viorst's house was
torn down for a freeway. No fireplace.

Oh, no People magazine.

No Muffin? Didn't she show?

She called. She'll
be here after lunch.

After what?

She hasn't started working yet.



You know, we're gonna have to
go straight to the Taco King, himself.

Too bad he won't talk to us.

That's what you get
for being disreputable.

Hey, hey, don't go throwing
around wild accusations like that.

My brother is not disreputable.

Thank you. I am.

You know, he did give
us his business card.

RICK: Yes, he did.

Maybe,

if he were to have
a nice secretary...

Hmm? Oh.

Then I want you
to call the factory.

I want you to tell them the
word is out we're using soybeans,

and I wanna find out
where that leak came from,

and I want it plugged
up and I mean fast.

Yes, sir. All right.

What's the schedule for tonight?

Dinner at 8:00, sir, then
nothing the rest of the evening,

as you requested.

All right. That's good. I wanna
get to those audit reports right away.

[PHONE RINGING]

Yes?

Ben Dodge, please.
Andrew Simon calling.

THORNBURY: Just
a moment, please.

Sir, are you waiting
for an Andrew Simon?

Never heard of him.

I'm sorry, Mr. Dodge is
tied up. Can I help you?

When will he be free?

Well, he has a very busy
schedule, Today is his birthday.

Perhaps Mr. Simon
could write a letter.

Have a nice day.

[HANGS UP]

He is tied up,
it's his birthday,

and he said you
should write a letter.

[PHONE RINGING]

Yes?

Hi, is Ben in for Jerry Brown?

Just a moment, please.

It's the governor, sir.

The governor?

Son of a g*n. He must be calling
to wish me a happy birthday.

Hey, Jerry, how
the hell are you?

This isn't Jerry.

Oh, all right, HI wait
while you get him,

That might be quite a wait. He's
in Sacramento, I'm in San Diego,

Who the hell is this?

This is Rick Simon. We spoke
earlier today about Conrad Viorst.

You told my secretary
you were Governor Brown.

I could have you arrested for
impersonating a state official.

No, I only asked if you
were in for Governor Brown.

Happy Birthday.

DODGE: There's only one
explanation for this. Blackmail.

After 23 years?

Someone has a long memory.

But everybody's dead.

Conrad Viorst had a daughter.

She isn't dead.

JANET: If I were
you, I would find out if

Conrad Viorst had any
surviving next of kin.

RICK: That's a great idea.
Can you do that for us?

I already did.

I called a friend at the IRS.

Viorst had a daughter
named Andrea.

She lives at 14708
Chula Vista Drive.

I already tried calling her
and I couldn't get through.

The telephone company
said her phone's off the hook.

You know, you
are amazing, Janet.

Why don't you come work for us?

Because I like getting
paid when I work.

Look, we will stop by the boat,

we will get the right
suitcase this time.

I promise it, okay?

What are you doing here
with these two sneak-thieves?

Nice to see you, too, Myron.

Hi, Daddy.

You know, every time I turn my
back, you're stealing one of my clients.

I just heard how
Blanding went with you.

He's not one of our clients.

He's my golf partner.

That's even
closer than a client.

And these two weasels somehow
found out that he needed some services,

and you stole him away from me.

Maybe your rates are too high. We
promise never to play golf with him.

Just how the hell did you
get to meet him, anyway?

BOTH: Uh...

Boat show. Boat show.
Yeah, yeah. Boat show.

Hey, look, Myron, there's no point
in getting your blood pressure up,

'cause we're at a dead end.

And we were gonna blow
the first case he ever gave us.

Really? Yeah.

Oh, what a shame, that.

Listen, what is it? A repo?

Oh, listen, Myron.
No, there's no point.

Even you couldn't
cr*ck this one.

I can cr*ck anything.

Try me. I'm an old hand at this.

Well...

We went to try and
repossess a cabin cruiser.

Let me guess.

The deadbeat slipped
out of the marina,

and left no forwarding
address, right?

How did you know that?

Genius is genius.

Why, I could cr*ck this
without even leaving the office.

Janet.

Call Perkins at the Coast Guard.

Now, first we find out
if the missing cruiser's

picked up any
violations and where.

Now, tell me, do you know
where this guy Johnson banks?

Cal National.

Okay. After Perkins,
call Schwartz at the bank.

Then we find out where this guy
Johnson's checks have been coming in from

and that'll lead us
to the right marina.

[EXCLAIMS]

Genius is genius.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Phone's off the
hook. Door's open.

Hello? Anybody home?

That's a funny place
to keep ketchup.

[RUSTLING]

[MEOWS]

[DOOR OPENING]

Anybody here?

My God.

I got a g*n! Put up your hands!

Who are you?

Nobody. Don't sh**t.

What the hell are you
doing in my house?

The phone was off the hook.

ANDREA: Keep them up!

Yeah. Right. Look,
you're Andrea Viorst, right?

How do you know?

Look, we're private
detectives, okay?

Oh, right. Right.

Detectives from
the phone company.

Very convincing.

No, really.

I can prove it. Here.

Uh-uh.

I'll give you my card.

Very slowly.

Slowly.

So, what are you doing
here? What do you want?

We're investigating...

[SIGHING]

That might now
sound very convincing.

Hey, look, we knocked, okay?

The door was open, your
phone was off the hook,

we were worried about
you, so we came inside

to make sure you
were all right, okay?

Why were you worried about me?

Well, because,
crazy as this sounds,

we just got a letter
from your father.

That's it, I'm calling the cops.

A.J.: No, wait! Look, I know
your father d*ed 23 years ago.

But he wrote this letter
the day before he d*ed.

I've got it.

Please. I can prove it.

Oh, here's the house
we used to live in.

They tore it down for a freeway.

AJ; Yeah, we know.

God, I know it's in
here somewhere.

[EXCLAIMS]

That's my father on the left,

and Arthur Hayjak in the middle.

A.J.: Who's that on the right?
RICK: Could be the victim.

That's Jarvis Martin.

The deejay?

Mmm-hmm.

Well, at least he's still alive.

Too bad.

Do you think it's possible

that Ben Dodge
k*lled my father, too?

Looks that way.

I mean, if what he wrote
in the letter were true,

and Ben Dodge
found out that he knew.

Who's paying your
fee on this case?

Actually, nobody.

I'll pay you to find out if
my father was m*rder*d.

You don't have to do that.

But I wanna know.

I have to know.

Well, why don't you wait
and see if we turn anything up,

and then we'll talk
about a fee, okay?

Okay.

I think we ought to
go see Jarvis Martin.

Don't you?

Oh, yes. May we keep this?

Sure.

Thank you.

By the way, did this
house have a fireplace in it?

No, I wish there were.

When I was about six, I tried to roast
marshmallows over the electric stove

and got goo all over the
burners. [LAUGHING]

Bye-bye. See you later.

Bye.

MARTIN ON RADIO: That, of course,
is the Benny Goodman theme song,

Let's Dance.

You're in tune with Swing Time.

This is Jarvis Martin,
here 4:00-7:00,

seven days a week since 1949.

Just never gonna
stop our swinging.

Remember this one?

[SWING MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

A.J.: We would love to
have a tour of the station,

but we're really here for
is to speak to Mr. Martin.

No, I'm afraid it's
going to be impossible.

Ma'am, it is very important.
We have to see Mr. Martin.

Oh. Well,

I would hope that this doesn't
have to become public knowledge,

but you are seeing
Jarvis Martin.

MARTIN ON RADIO: The classic
Artie Shaw version of Moonglow.

This is Jarvis Martin and
you're in tune with Swing Time.

Now this.

Jarvis made these
tapes from 1974 to 1977.

They're automated, they never
play twice in the same order,

and we have an infinite supply.


can play on forever.

It was his last gift to me.

His last gift?

Well, Jarvis had a bad
heart and he d*ed in 1977.

But I'm a very lucky woman.

My husband's with me every day

during the afternoon drive time.

Ma'am, do you happen to recognize
either of the two people in that photograph

with your husband?

That's Arthur and Conrad.

They're all gone now.

You know, this is sort
of a strange question,

but did they ever talk
to you about a m*rder?

Oh, well, there was
the Don Landers m*rder

back in 1959.

Everyone talked about that.

You see, Conrad
worked for Big Don.

Big Don? Big Don's
Bigger Burgers.

Just one more question, and
then we won't bother you anymore.

Did the house in
which you lived in 1959

have a fireplace in it?

No.

[DOOR CLOSING]

[RATTLING]

Hey, you guys back?

Rick?

A.J.?

Hey, come on, you
guys. This isn't very funny.

Stupid cat.

[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

MARTIN ON RADIO: , .vocalist
Anita O'Day, it's m*rder, He Says.

[m*rder, HE SAYS
PLAYING ON RADIO]

Double chili cheeseburgers.

I used to spend my entire
week's allowance at Big Don's.

That was my allowance you spent.
You played poker with me for it.

You were a lousy poker player.

Big Don sure did make
a great burger, though.

Why would the Taco King
want to m*rder Big Don?

Well, why don't we ask him?

The Detroit contingent
has arrived at the airport.

They know what to do tonight.

How to get into the
house, where to hide.

It's all set. Good.

The old man doesn't
suspect a thing.

Not a thing. And I'll make sure
the kitchen door is unlocked.

[PHONE RINGING]

Yes?

Oh, certainly, I'll hold.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Yes, may I...

We have a singing
telegram for Ben Dodge.

Birthday boy.

Oh, yes, I'll get him.

RICK: Thank you.

Yes, fine.

That's 8:00, Le Chien Andalou.

All right. Mr. Dodge
will meet you there.

Excellent.

Thank you.

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, Ben Dodge

Happy birthday to you

And tacos too

[CHUCKLING]

Thank you, gentlemen.

No, you really don't...

Now, to whom do I owe
this very great honor?

Well, to us.

Simon & Simon Investigations.

All right, that does it.

I'm calling the police.

No, I...

No, I think I can spare these two
gentlemen a few moments of my time.

This way.

Thank you.

DODGE: Conrad Viorst.

A very confused young man.

Well, I felt sorry for him.

I thought maybe I could do
something about that drinking of his.

Yes, yes, dear. Go on.

Yeah, I thought maybe
I could do something

about that terrible
drinking problem he had.

Well, I gave him a job.

And he kept right on drinking.

And one day, he rammed that
car of his right straight into a tree.

Thank God, he didn't
take anybody else with him.

Dead on arrival.

That's what they told
me at the hospital.

Well, that wasn't long after
Big Don Landers d*ed, was it?

You remember Big
Don Landers? Wow.

Well, actually, we remember
Big Don's Bigger Burgers.

That was... That was kind of
our favorite hangout, you know?

Guys never could figure
out why that place shut down.

They tried to start a
national chain like I did,

but they didn't have my
business expertise, that's all.

They went out of business.

BOTH: Hmm.

Before or after Big Don d*ed?

Well, it was after.

But poor Don's demise didn't
have anything to do with it.

I mean, the seeds of
failure were already planted.

Just out of curiosity,
exactly how did Big Don die?

Surely you know.

Made banner
headlines for a week.

I was in grade school.

Yes.

Well, apparently poor
Don came home one night,

surprised a burglar, the
man sh*t and k*lled him.

That was in early 1959.

Mmm.

Bad year for people
in your line of work.

Mmm.

RICK: It's a nice
house you have here.

How long have you lived here?

Since 1960.

So, then you weren't living here

when either Big Don
or Conrad Viorst d*ed.

Oh, no. No, no. I still
lived over on Rutledge.

I was raised there.

A lot of wonderful childhood
memories in that old house.

In the early '605, I
had it demolished,

built a high-rise on the site.

[EXCLAIMS]

Well, who needs memories, right?

Well, thank you for the drink.

You're quite welcome.

Happy birthday.

Yes, happy birthday.

Mmm-hmm.

I think I satisfied them.

Hey, Janet.

Muffin?

JANET: In here.

Where the hell have you been?

I've been waiting for
you guys for hours.

Somebody tried to k*ll me.

Somebody did what? What?

How...

Well, did you get
a good look at him?

How could I?

He was wearing this.

Well, apparently he took it off.

No, I took it off.

He turned to hide his
face and she ran like hell.

Can you trace it?
Check for fingerprints?

Do something?

Well, you can't get
fingerprints off of polyester.

Listen to me. I was just fine
until you guys walked into my life.

You know, you tell me that my
father might have been m*rder*d.

I hire you to find out.

And then, somebody
breaks into my house

and tells me to unhire
you if I want to stay alive.

Wait a minute. Hold it.

The guy in the mask
knew that you had hired us?

Yes. And I wish
I'd never met you.

How would he know that?

ANDREA: So, what am I gonna do?

A.J.: Hide.

Yeah, until this thing
dies down a little bit,

we're gonna have to
find a safe place for you.

Sure. Like where?

My place. My place.

My place.

Hi, Mom.

Mother...

Andrea Viorst, this is
our mother, Cecilia Simon.

Hello, Andrea. Hi.

Don't you worry. You
come with me. You'll be safe.

Thank you.

Oh, I got the repo info for you.

Oh, good, where is it?

Daddy took it. I think he really
wants that Blanding account.

No, wait, Myron is
gonna go repo the gorilla?

JANET: Yep.

That's one we owe you.

One? One? Well... What is that?

This? Nice, huh?

Yeah, well, it's...
This is my suitcase.

It is not exactly brown suede,

but, then again,
it... Oh, by the way,

Muffin is getting her
stomach pumped.

She... Why, why?
Something she ate for lunch.

And I will see you
guys in about a week.

Oh, yeah... Haste luego.

Have fun. Have a good time.

You know what makes me mad?

Big Don really did
make a great burger.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Well, he did.

Come on, Mom, you
remember. When I was a kid,

I used to eat so many of those
things, we should own stock in the place.

CECILIA: We did. We did?

Your father bought it.

It was looking very promising.

They were marketing a newline
of products. What were they?

Big Don's fiesta food.

Tacos, burritos...

That's the motive.

Now, look, we know the k*ller, we know
the victim, all we need is that fireplace.

Well, the only fireplace
we got is Ben Dodge's.

Yeah, but I can't
picture Andrea's father

digging around in
an antique fireplace

for a brick in a 100-year-old
mansion. Can you?

That house isn't old.

Mr. Dodge just built it to look old. I
remember my father talking about it.

He used to watch
them working on it.

Then it could have been
under construction in '59.

Yeah. Yeah, it was.

Well, maybe your father didn't have
time to get the evidence out of there.



I remember seeing pictures of it in
the home section of the newspaper.

Where are you going?

You haven't finished dinner yet.

Mom, dinner was
delicious, but we've...

We've gotta get back
inside that house tonight.

Look, see, Ben Dodge
is going out to dinner

to Le Chien Andalou.
He's not gonna be at home.

Mom, we gotta go.

Be careful.

Back door.

[LOCK CLICKING]

A.J.: Will you hurry up?

It wasn't locked.

[RICK EXCLAIMS]

[CLINKING]

Which way? Down here.

It was the other
way this afternoon.

Then why did you ask?

Okay, it wasn't.

Hey, careful.

I'm being careful.

[CLATTERING]

Shh!

There's the door.

Shh.

What?

Somebody else
is in here with us.

What?

I think there's
somebody in here with us.

Don't be ridiculous.

ALL: Surprise!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, Ben Dodge Hap...

[EXCLAIMS] What?

Breaking and
entering. Trespassing.

No, the door was open.

And we had an
invitation, right? Right.

You got it right there. No,
it was in my... I got it, right.

BOTH: Surprise!

ALL: Surprise!

Happy birthday to you

Hey, what's going on here?

We caught these
guys breaking in.

What guys?

Let's go!

Happy birthday to you Murray!

Bernie! How are you?

Imagine! And what a surprise,

coming all the way
down from Detroit.

Come on. This way.

There they are.

[BOTH EXCLAIMING]

Water.

Two for dinner? Two for water.

I'm afraid we are...
Two for dinner.

Two for dinner, sir.
This way, please.

[PANTING]

Oh, yeah, thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, good. Yeah.

Your waiter will be right over.

Oh, no, not waiter,
water. Just...

Where's the telephone?

Over there.

[COIN CLINKING IN PAYPHONE]

A.J.: Much too
slow. Much too slow.

Enjoy your dinner.

AJ; Come on.

How are we gonna
get out of here?

Hi.

Good evening.

Good evening.

[CHUCKLING] Steal a car. Hello.

[EXCLAIMING SILENTLY]

Good evening.

How are you?

Watch your step now. Thank you.

Wait a minute.

[COUGHS]

You will probably be gone
when we come out, so...

Oh. That's for you.

Great, thank you.

Thank you.

You folks have a
nice evening, now.

[PHONE RINGING]

Mr. Dodge. Thanks for coming
to the phone for a change.

I hope we didn't
spoil your party.

Wish him a happy birthday.

We'd like to talk to you.

Oh, about the evidence
that Conrad Viorst had

that proves that you
k*lled Big Don Landers.

Yes, sir, it is silly,
but it is evidence.

No. No, I'm sorry. I
won't tell you what it is.

Not till we talk in person.

Why don't you come to the phone
booth at the corner of 5th and B.

Come alone.

Alone with your chauffeur.



Fine.

See you then. Bye-bye.

Now, just be real
gentle with her, okay?

RICK: How alone was he?

Alone with Thornbury
and Harrison.

Perfect.

RICK: Three, four, five, six.

It's loose.

Nothing.

That's the sixth
brick from the bottom.

Well, there's gotta
be another fireplace.

Bedroom.

DODGE: What time you got?

It's 1:10.



Okay. We'll give
them ten more minutes.

Nothing.

[SIGHING]

[CAR APPROACHING]

DODGE: All right. I've had it.

Call the cops.

Yes, sir.

There's number three.

Which one?

Okay.

[DOOR OPENING]

Don't worry, Mr. Dodge.

My brother and I don't wait in
people's houses to m*rder them.

What happened to Big Don
Landers is not gonna happen to you.

I was just doing a little
v*olence to your fireplace.

I'm having you arrested.

I've sent for the police.
They're on their way.

You have no right to do this!

Well, if we're wrong,

we get arrested for vandalism.

But if we're right,

you get arrested for m*rder.

Oh, officer, good.

These men have broken
into my house. Twice.

I'm filing charges against them.

OFFICER: All right, you two.

A.J. What are you doing here?

Matt.

It's a long story.

Oh, we play
racquetball together.

Matt, listen.

Could you do me a
favor? Just read the letter.

Just read this letter,
it'll explain everything.

Well, that doesn't
mean anything.

It was written by a
drunk and a crackpot.

Well, are you just going to stand there
and watch them destroy my property,

or am I going to have to
call the police commissioner?

I demand you put a stop to this.

Just one more minute here, okay?

I hope this is
the last fireplace.

A.J., I'm gonna have
to read you your rights.

You have the right
to remain silent.

[EXCLAIMS]

How's that for a piece
of evidence, huh?

Here you go.

Here you go, fellows.

[SNORTING]

Hey.

Cut it out. Quit molesting
my turtles, will you?

I can't figure out whether
he's in love or just hungry.

Either way, he's
in for a big surprise.

Hi. Hi.

RICK: Oh, hi.

I just thought I'd drop
by to say thank you.

Oh, well, that's our pleasure.

Oh, here.

Thank you.

Here, I owe you this.

No, no, no.

What you do is you

buy the lady a new body,

and you can buy us dinner.

Yes, at Le Chien Andalou.

Okay. You got it.

Okay.

Bye.

BOTH: Bye.

What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be on vacation.

No, my car is on vacation.

Four days in the shop
to fix the head gasket.

Oh, that's a shame.
Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, I knew you'd understand why
I need to borrow a car or a pickup.

Well, see, my truck
has a lot of work...

My car...

Nice. Nice. After I trick Daddy
into handling that repo for you. I...

Daddy, you're... Myron?

You guys didn't tell me
that Johnson was 6'3",


be fullback with the Steelers.

We didn't know it.
No, that was lineback.

Sure.

For a Canadian league.

Hi. I'm Muffin Goldstein.

Did I miss anything?