01x05 - m*rder on D Street

[bunniefuu]

[ATSUSHI] The Black Lizard...

The Armed Detective Agency was att*cked

by the Port Mafia's m*llitary squad, the Black Lizard.

But the entire squad was crushed thanks

to the battle skills of Kunikida, Yosano, and Kenji.

That's how powerful the Armed Detective Agency is.

Huh?

[RAMPO] Hey, Harunochi.

A challenge for you:

Do you think you can you take the marble out of this bottle?

I think I can do that.

Marble, really?

[glass breaking]

[KIRAKO] Is this what you wanted?

[RAMPO] Mm-hmm. Marbles are lovely, aren't they?

Now that you mention it, yes, they are.

Um, isn't Rampo going to help clean up the office?

[DOPPO] Hmmm?

Hey, Kunikida.

[skrieks]

[RAMPO] I can't stay.

I've got to head off to a job.

Oh, have you been called to assist with a new m*rder case?

[RAMPO] Yep.

The police are always so desperate for my help.

They can't capture a single criminal without me.

The fact is...

...my Ultra-Deduction is the best ability in this agency.

I'm sure it's the best power in the whole country.

It's no surprise that everyone depends on it.

We're all indebted to you, Rampo.

[RAMPO] Good, well, you know, as long as you're aware.

You're funny.

It's odd that you call yourselves a detective agency,

because the rest of you have the deductive powers

of a pack of monkeys.

The only way you can investigate anything is thanks to my ability

What you do is truly amazing.

With your Ultra-Deduction skills,

you can see right to the heart of a case in an instant.

[DOPPO] You're a role model for the Agency--

no, for all gifted people.

[RAMPO] Yeah, you're right.

[DOPPO] Hey, kid.

Y-Yes?

Never mind the clean-up here.

You're done. You need to go with Rampo.

You two will travel by train.

I-I'm gonna be a detective's assistant?

It's a great responsibility...

[RAMPO] Don't be silly.

I'm not a two-bit detective.

I don't need an "assistant."

[ATSUSHI] Then why am I going with you?

Simple.

I never bothered to learn how to take the train.

[RAMPO] Hmmm...

[ATSUSHI] Honestly, I was surprised

at how naive Rampo was.

He didn't know anything: how to buy a ticket,

how to get through the turnstile,

or how to figure out which platform to go to...

I guess he really can't do anything

without using his supernatural ability.

You know you're late, Agents.

Now hold on, who are you?

Where's Yasui?

[MINOURA] I'm Minoura.

I took over from Yasui.

This case has been reassigned to our division,

so we no longer need you or your agency.

[RAMPO] That's ridiculous.

Every difficult case should be overseen

by a master detective like me.

[MINOURA] We won't need private investigators on this

because the victim was a cop who worked for me.

[ATSUSHI] Eh...

The victim's a lady.

Yes, sir.

Her body was found floating in the river this morning.

[MINOURA] She was sh*t three times in the chest.

We don't know where or when she was k*lled.

We haven't found the b*ll*ts either.

[RAMPO] Any suspects?

Not yet. As far as anyone at the office knew,

she wasn't in a relationship.

So we doubt it was a jealous lover.

[RAMPO] Very interesting.

So does that mean you don't have any leads?

That's all the more reason why

we can't let some amateur private eye handle this.

[POLICE OFFICER ] Hey!

Looks like the nets caught something!

They put out nets?

Yeah, the net's strung across the water.

Standard practice to dredge evidence from the river.

Look over there! It's a man!

You sure?!

Do you think that's a second victim?

[ATSUSHI] Eh...

Hello, Atsushi.

This is quite the strange coincidence.

Don't tell me you tried to drown again, Osamu...

Don't be silly.

Committing su1c1de alone?

That's so passé these days.

I have made a decision that if I am going to end everything,

I'll do it with a beautiful woman!

Ah, double su1c1de!

What a sweet ring it has.

By comparison, it feels so empty to think about bidding farewell

to this world all by my lonesome.

That's my new plan.

I'm on the lookout for a passionate

and suicidal woman to die with me!

But how'd you get caught in the net?

Hmph! I was just drifting along, enjoying the glorious river!

[ATSUSHI] I see.

But enough about me.

What brings you out here today, friend?

[ATSUSHI] I'm on a job.

A job?

What kind of job?

W-W-W-W-What tragedy...

What a terrible situation--

a lovely young woman in her prime has lost her life...

She could have committed double su1c1de with me!

My sorrow's crushing my heart,

and there's nothing I can do to ease my pain.

[sobs]

Who the hell is your weird friend?

He's a colleague at the Agency,

and yes, he always acts this way.

[OSAMU] Oh, how I hope you rest in peace, milady.

And now, an extraordinary detective will avenge

your death for you and me both.

Isn't that right, Rampo?

[RAMPO] It's tough to say.

I haven't officially gotten the job yet.

[OSAMU] What? Why?

Ask Mr. Detective.

We don't need private eyes on this.

Everyone on my team is better than any private d*ck out there.

Including you bums.

Oh? Tell me, Officer, what's your name?

[SUGIMOTO] What?

I am Sergeant Sugimoto, sir.

The victim, Ms. Yamagiwa was my superior officer on the force.

All right, Sugimoto.

Here's your chance--solve this case in sixty seconds.

Ready, set go.

What?!

I can solve this thing in under a minute.

If you're as good as he says you are,

you should be able to do that too.

[MINOURA] Hmm?

[RAMPO] Okay, it's show time.

Let's see what you've got.

Ahh! Um, okay, well...

Gyah! Sixty seconds is impossible, don't you think?!

Tick tock! Fifty seconds left.

What?!

[ATSUSHI] I hope that's not what I look like

when I'm under too much pressure.

Hold on. I know Yamagiwa was pursuing

a political corruption case

and also running an investigation on the Port Mafia.

The m*rder*r's M.O. is similar to the Mafia's

when they want retribution.

Maybe the Mafia did it

because they knew she was getting too close.

No.

Uh...?

[OSAMU] The Port Mafia's retaliatory methods

are quite specific.

They have a signature

that's as unique to them as a fingerprint.

First, the traitor is forced on the ground

and made to bite the curb.

Then they stomp on his head to shatter his jaw.

Finally, they flip him over and sh**t him in the chest...

[OSAMU] ...three times.

I guess if we're being precise,

then technically yes, but still...

So this M.O. is similar to the Mafia's,

but not exactly the same.

That means...

The k*ller was attempting a cover up?

sh**ting two extra rounds to make it look like a Mafia hit.

How cruel.

Beep!

Nice try, Sergeant.

Too bad, you've got a ways to go

before your case solving skills match mine.

But don't feel bad, you've been useful!

You've helped us prove that Minoura's best detectives

are inferior to me.

[MINOURA] Cut the crap!

I'm tired of all your jabber.

You can't cr*ck hard cases just with deduction.

You've been reading too many crime novels.

Cases are solved through investigation:

interviewing persons of interest,

and closely analyzing the crime scene.

Uh-huh? You've got a pretty thick skull.

Great detectives don't do "investigations."

My ability, Ultra-Deduction, can instantly identify the k*ller.

I can also figure out when and how the m*rder was committed.

But wait there's more,

I can see in my mind's eye how to make the k*ller confess

and where the evidence lies to prove our case.

My power truly is a rare gift.

Given my line of work,

I know all about you gifted types and your powers.

But if you have such a special ability,

then why do my colleagues and I still have a job?

My thoughts exactly.

Now we're starting to understand each other, detective.

[growls] You little bastard!

[OSAMU] Now, now, Detective.

Please pardon my colleague's tactless behavior.

What can I say?

My personal motto is... "All's well that's well for me!

Catchy right?

[ATSUSHI] My personal motto would probably be

"What's better than being alive?"

Well, well, well...

You can't stop bragging about your ability,

so let's have a look at it.

[RAMPO] Really?

So I guess I'm on the case?

You should've just asked me nicely when I first got here.

Heh, too bad you've got a lot more confidence than experience.

You realize there's no hard evidence...?

Would you like me to count to sixty for you?

Heeeh...

I won't need that long.

Watch closely now, Atsushi.

This is the ability that keeps the Agency going.

Once he puts on those glasses...

Rampo's Ultra-Deduction is active.

[ATSUSHI] I can't believe Rampo's ability

to solve a case like this.

How does a power like that even work?

Ability: Ultra-Deduction!

Yes, I see.

Heh! "I see," my ass.

You're trying to tell us you know who the k*ller is?

[RAMPO] Of course!

Okay?

The k*ller is...

The k*ller's you.

[RAMPO] That's right.

You're the k*ller...

I know that you did it, Sergeant Sugimoto.

Huh?

[ATSUSHI] He did it?

[laughs]

Sergeant Sugimoto works for me on the force.

Sergeant Sugimoto is the one who k*lled her.

Ugh! Ridiculous!

What stupid k*ller would want to come to the scene of the crime?

That's precisely why he's here.

He wants to stay close to the investigation.

And in case I didn't mention it...

I know where we can find evidence to prove it.

Let me see your g*n.

Y-You've got to be kidding me!

I can't just hand over my firearm to a civilian!

They would take my badge away!

How convenient for you, Rampo.

Your source of evidence is the one thing you can't look at.

[RAMPO] But look at it this way.

If we examine that g*n and come up empty,

then you prove your right, and I'm an idiot with a big mouth.

Hmph. I've had enough of listening

to your annoying voice!

Sugimoto, show him your g*n.

But, sir!

[MINOURA] This so-called detective has barked up

this tree as far as he can go.

If we prove him wrong, he'll shut up and go home.

Go on, you can show him your g*n.

Hey, what's the matter, Sugimoto?

Even here in a city filled with criminals,

it isn't easy to acquire government issued amm*nit*on...

Or for that matter a government issued w*apon.

Why aren't you saying anything, Sugimoto?!

[RAMPO] He's quiet.

But I think his mind is racing.

Specifically, he's thinking about

the three b*ll*ts he's used and how he'll explain their absence.

[SUGIMOTO gasps]

Sugimoto!

You can't be the k*ller!

Show us your g*n, and get this over with!

[sighs]

That's right, detective.

Not good.

[SUGIMOTO grunts]

Are you crazy?!

Atsushi! Go!

--[ATSUSHI] What?! --[MINOURA] Don't do it!

[g*nsh*t]

[grunts]

Let me go! I'm not responsible.

[RAMPO] Running away won't help.

[SUGIMOTO] Huh?

I've already determined the m*rder took place

early yesterday morning at the abandoned shipyard,

just a few hundred meters upstream from here.

[SUGIMOTO] Ah. How'd you know that?

I'm sure we'll find more evidence there.

Including your footprints and hers.

And the bloodstains you tried but failed to erase.

How could you know that?

No one could've figured it all out.

Okay, save your confession...

...till we're back at the station.

It might be your last time there.

[SUGIMOTO] It was never my plan to sh**t her.

Y'see, she...

She was following leads in a small time corruption case.

But as she dug into it, she realized that she'd uncovered

a larger crime involving a politician.

But the politician knew he was vulnerable

and already had a mole inside the force

to get rid of any evidence.

The mole you are talking about, that was you, right?

I had always wanted to become a police officer.

He found me when I was depressed...

I was at a low point

after my third time failing the entrance exam.

He asked me what I was willing to do to join the force.

He used his influence to help me become a cop,

but there was a price.

I had to report to him and follow his orders.

So he ordered you to k*ll Yamagiwa,

and you obeyed like a lap dog!

That's not true!

I was trying to warn her about him.

He was on to her. He'd k*ll her if...

...if she didn't give up her investigation.

But she just wouldn't listen to me.

This is no joke. He's taking this very seriously.

[YAMIGAWA] Then I'll just have to take him very seriously, too.

I've already made contact with a prosecutor I know.

I just need to hand over the evidence.

What're you doing?

I'm just trying to protect you.

Give me the evidence, or he'll hire someone to k*ll you.

I wanna help you stay alive!

Please do it.

No, you're gonna hand over the g*n.

Give it to me.

We both know you're not willing to sh**t me.

[SUGIMOTO] You're right.

I can't.

Give it to me or I'll sh**t!

[gasps] Sugimoto!

Stop! Don't!

[g*nsh*t]

Ah!

[screams]

[SUGIMOTO gasps]

[RAMPO] But we both know the story doesn't end there,

does it?!

There's still the matter of what you did with the body.

You were in a bind.

You panicked and made a rash choice...

You called the crooked politician for help.

He told you to destroy the evidence

by making it look like a Mafia hit,

so you fired two more sh*ts into her chest.

[RAMPO] You set her adrift in the river

to delay the body's discovery.

[MINOURA] Where's the evidence Yamagiwa had gathered?

That politician is responsible for her death!

Tell me, right now!

[RAMPO] Hey, Sugimoto...

[MINOURA] Hm?

Want me to guess what her final words were?

I have an idea.

"I'm sorry." Correct?

I'm sorry...

So sorry.

[SUGIMOTO gasps]

[SUGIMOTO] How...

[SUGIMOTO sobs]

How does your power let you see all that?

The evidence she had on the politician,

it's in my desk drawer.

[MINOURA] Thank you, I suppose.

[RAMPO] Hmm?

[MINOURA] Also, I'm sorry I doubted your special powers.

We'll come to you the next time we get a tough case.

If you need my Ultra-Deduction abilities,

all you have to do is ask, Detective.

I may even give you a discount.

Appreciate the offer.

[ATSUSHI] What Rampo did back there was amazing.

I had no idea he'd figure everything out.

His Ultra-Deduction ability is truly incredible.

Yes, but I might've figured out half of it, too.

Half of what?

The case we were just working on...

I pretty much know how Rampo figured it out.

Well, maybe, but he said his ability

lets him solve the case instantly...

Oh, right, I forgot. You don't know about him yet...

See, the truth is...

...Rampo isn't gifted with special powers.

Huh?!

Rampo is a rare breed.

Despite appearances, he's an un-gifted member

of the crime fighting team at the Armed Detective Agency.

He himself seems to believe he's using an ability, but he's not.

And even though he's childish, he's years old.

Eh?!

The reason why everyone at the Agency respects Rampo

is because they know his Ultra- Deduction isn't an ability.

I had heard about it,

but today I was the first time I got to witness him in action,

and here's a little secret... I put it to a test.

While he was "using" his Ultra-Deduction ability today,

I was secretly pinching his hair behind him.

As you well know, my unique power

is to neutralize anyone's ability if I touch them...

I'm "anti-gifted."

No gifted person can use their ability

while I'm in physical contact with them.

This has always been true,

no matter how strong their powers are.

In other words,

Rampo's Ultra-Deduction is not a supernatural ability.

He's a regular person?

Hold on, then how did he...

[OSAMU] Pure deduction.

There's nothing "Ultra" about it.

But how? I mean...

He figured out who the k*ller was in such a short time!

How can deduction alone solve a hard case like that?

Well, I don't have that power, and I figured it out.

Do you remember what Sergeant Sugimoto said?

sh**ting two extra rounds to make it look like a Mafia hit.

[OSAMU] Any innocent person who saw a body

with three g*nsh*t wounds

would assume they were fired at the same time.

Oh...

[OSAMU] What Sugimoto said implied

he knew the victim had d*ed from the first sh*t.

How could he have known that

before the autopsy was performed?

'Cause he was the sh**t.

But Rampo also knew when the m*rder had been committed.

He said it was yesterday morning.

That's because

he observed the body was still in good condition.

We could easily ID the victim.

So, at most, it'd only been floating in the river for a day.

Also she looked as if she had dressed in a rush.

She wasn't dressed for work.

She had no makeup on.

So the m*rder clearly occurred in the early morning.

I see.

But how did he know about the crime scene's location

and that she was threatened like that?

I've got to admit, I don't know.

A trained mind like Rampo's probably caught

a lot more details than I could hope to quickly observe.

It's really amazing.

Especially how he was able to figure out

what her final words were.

[OSAMU] Oh, well...

...that I knew.

[ATSUSHI] Huh?

According to the police, she was not in a romantic relationship.

But her wristwatch told a different story.

It was an expensive European model.

Not something a young woman on a detective's salary

would ordinarily buy for herself.

[OSAMU] Sugimoto's watch was the men's version

of the same luxury brand.

So then, they were... dating each other?

When he called her,

she went to see him right away without a trace of makeup.

She trusted him.

They even wore matching watches...

It tells me they were in love.

[OSAMU] With such strong feelings for her,

he couldn't kick her head in to finish the cover up.

He knew it wouldn't look like the Mafia's work,

but it was just too much for him to bear.

The ability to see all of that would be par for the course

if it were an actual supernatural power.

Nothing really worth getting credit for.

But if it's due to his natural, personal powers of deduction,

well, that's a different story.

Not only that,

Rampo has solved dozens of cases using his un-gifted mind.

In every case, he was able to instantly determine

the truth of the matter with the slimmest of leads!

He's never been wrong!

Our city is safer thanks to his work and the power of his mind.

He truly is a great man, don't you think?

[RAMPO] Somebody's not doing their job!

[ATSUSHI] Huh?

You're supposed to help me find my way back

to the Agency, y'know!

[ATSUSHI] I think I kind of get it now...

[OSAMU] Huh?

Why everyone at the Agency trusts Rampo

and tells him how great he is.

[OSAMU] Heh.

[RAMPO] Hm... Heh heh.

All's well that's well for me!

[DOPPO] What is "the Ideal"?

There are any number of answers to that question.

It is words.

It is thought.

From a moving plan scheduled five years from now

to tonight's dinner menu, this notebook has everything

in life written out in exacting detail.

It represents the entirety of my ideals!

[ATSUSHI] But just to be safe,

you really shouldn't show anyone the page

where you've written about your ideal woman.

Next time on Bungo Stray Dogs ,

episode : "The Azure Messenger."

[DOPPO] What's so bad about looking for an ideal woman?!